Unavailable
Unavailable
Unavailable
Ebook258 pages3 hours
New Moan: The First Book in The Twishite Saga: A Parody
Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars
3.5/5
()
Currently unavailable
Currently unavailable
About this ebook
Plenty ofoverwrought prose and melodramatic angst mark this fang-sharp parody ofnumber-one New York Timesbestseller New Moon
"I want to bite you, Heffa. I want to bite you very hard. I'll be gentle, I promise. If you really loved me, you'd let me."
Heffa Lump is just a typical pale 17-year-old who doubts that anyone will ever see her true beauty and needs to grow up and get a life.Fortunately, the Spatula Academy of Fictional Excellence specializes in helping characters from kids' books cross over into adult fiction. Unfortunately, she's distracted from her attempts to leave adolescence behind when she meets Teddy Kelledy—an impossibly gorgeous boy who eats rare meat, is super-strong, and never goes out in daylight. Could he—just maybe—be a vampire? (Hint: totally.) Soon, Heffa finds herself harassed by supernatural forces on all sides: Will she be able to narrate herself out of danger? Will Teddy learn that being with a girl doesn't always have to be about biting? And what will happen when the New Moan rises? A tale of first love, painful longing, and even more painful pointy teeth, New Moan is a hilarious parody of the phenomenon that is Stephenie Meyer's Twilight saga.
Unavailable
Read more from Stephfordy Mayo
New Moan: The First Book in the Twishite Saga - A Parody Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Breaking Yawn: The Second Book in the Twishite Saga: A Parody Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Related to New Moan
Related ebooks
The Outlaw's Bride: Skullbreakers MC, #1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Hitch in Time Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAgainst All Odds: My journey to becoming a flight attendant: A Memoir Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBright Lights Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHappiness Is Too Much Trouble Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsIf Anything Should Happen Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Breath of Anubis: Dr Byron Willoughby Mysteries, #1 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHappy State Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDance of the freaky green gold Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5This Is How It Took Place: Stories Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFourth Time Forever: The Oxford Blue series, #4 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Antebellum Soul: Here & Now Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsChildren of the Folded Valley Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Picture House Girls: A beautiful, heartwarming wartime saga series from Patricia McBride for 2024 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAs the Flies Crow Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Imaginary Lives of James Poneke Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Love Hope Light Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDog Days Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Gilded Razor: A Book Club Recommendation! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pick Up the Pieces: The Light in Your Eyes Book 1 - A Spy vs.Spook Spin-off Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Nobody Is Ever Missing: A Novel Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Hellbent Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Crossroads Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDifferent Minds Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Alpha's Son Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5When You Are Mine: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Long Chance Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMoxie Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsForsaken - The Prequel to the Ella Rose Series Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsTales of Terror from the Tunnel's Mouth Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Humor & Satire For You
Go the F**k to Sleep Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Screwtape Letters Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5101 Fun Personality Quizzes: Who Are You . . . Really?! Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5A Man Called Ove: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Love and Other Words Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Can't Make This Up: Life Lessons Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Anxious People: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Don't Panic: Douglas Adams & The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Swamp Story: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Soulmate Equation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Best F*cking Activity Book Ever: Irreverent (and Slightly Vulgar) Activities for Adults Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5I Will Judge You by Your Bookshelf Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Killing the Guys Who Killed the Guy Who Killed Lincoln: A Nutty Story About Edwin Booth and Boston Corbett Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Yes Please Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Big Swiss: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Plato and a Platypus Walk Into a Bar...: Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Tidy the F*ck Up: The American Art of Organizing Your Sh*t Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mindful As F*ck: 100 Simple Exercises to Let That Sh*t Go! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Solutions and Other Problems Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer: A Novella Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Britt-Marie Was Here: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: the heartfelt, funny memoir by a New York Times bestselling therapist Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Farrell Covington and the Limits of Style: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Everything I Know About Love: A Memoir Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Garbage Pail Kids Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The 2,548 Wittiest Things Anybody Ever Said Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5
Reviews for New Moan
Rating: 3.3666679999999998 out of 5 stars
3.5/5
15 ratings1 review
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Oh, I loved this. I really did. I'm a Twilight Fan-turned Twilight hater and I found this absolutely hilarious. Could have been better, and it mixed the books way too much, but I still thought it was well worth the read.