"Just the Funny Bits" by Yvette Price-Mear OLM by Yvette Price-Mear OLM - Read Online

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Summary

“Just the Funny Bits” is a collection of illustrated, comedic anecdotes.

Compiled excerpts from Yvette Price-Mear’s previous books;
“Your Mongoose Wants Re-Varnishing”
&
“There’s ALWAYS Time to Watch the Mice Dance”
&
“Would Tony Blair REALLY Have Invited Me For Tea…? If He Knew That I (Inadvertently) Took Photographs of Dead Friends”.

I hope you’re intrigued by the titles!

Just to give you an idea of the kind of (true) family yarns the book contains;

1; My littlest Granddaughter (aged four) said; “Nana, when I went to play at Evelyn’s we SNEAKED into her Mummy’s bedroom and got something ‘very private and special’ out of her drawers that we aren’t allowed to touch”.
I hardly dared ask…
“It was Lindsay’s machine to make sure that her baby’s heart is beeping”. WHAT a relief!
Published: BookBaby on
ISBN: 9781483504049
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"Just the Funny Bits" - Yvette Price-Mear OLM

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ISBN: 9781483504049

Whilst I was working as a Nurse in Out Patients at our local Hospital I was taking a history from a very quietly spoken patient who had a glass eye. I introduced him to the Consultant Dr Sands as; Mr H - who lost his eye as a child when he was attacked by a Pelican.

Sorry to interrupt, Nurse said the patient Mr H But it was with a pellet gun. We don’t get many Pelicans in Mansfield.

Just The Funny Bits ~ Page 1

Words by Yvette Price-Mear OLM

Illustrated by Lindsay Devine

Whilst I was driving I saw a man sweating and swearing profusely re-loading vegetables that had fallen off his tractor-trailer. I said to him; Cheer up love; I’ll help you to pick all your turnips up – if you give me one for my dinner.

We spent a companionable hour chatting and picking them all up and as I said goodbye he said; Don’t forget your turnip, I hope you enjoy it.

When I got home and regaled my tale to my husband Tony he took the greatest of pleasure in telling me that the vegetable gift I had was in fact – a sugar beet!

Just The Funny Bits ~ Page 2

Words by Yvette Price-Mear OLM

Illustrated by Lindsay Devine

I wasted 35p on an edition of the Nottingham Evening Post when I misread the words on a sign outside the Newsagents. I was utterly intrigued when I drove past and saw the headline ‘Lap Dancing Bear Loses Its Performing Licence’ on the sandwich board.

I had visions of a grizzly bear wearing a diamante bikini and gyrating seductively around a sweaty middle-aged man. Only after I’d parted with my 35p did I notice that it actually said ‘Lap Dancing Bar loses its Performing Licence’.

I did ask for my money back - citing extenuating circumstances - but unfortunately my request was politely declined. Misers.

Just The Funny Bits ~ Page 3

Words by Yvette Price-Mear OLM

Illustrated by Lindsay Devine

When our daughter Rebecca was four-years-old she informed us that she was going to; Be a pincushion in the School Christmas Concert. I measured her up ready to buy some brightly coloured, fluffy material which