Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

Unavailable
Jane Bites Back: A Novel
Unavailable
Jane Bites Back: A Novel
Unavailable
Jane Bites Back: A Novel
Ebook314 pages4 hours

Jane Bites Back: A Novel

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

4/5

()

Currently unavailable

Currently unavailable

About this ebook

Two hundred years after her death, Jane Austen is still surrounded by the literature she loves—but now it's because she's the owner of Flyleaf Books in a sleepy college town in Upstate New York. Every day she watches her novels fly off the shelves—along with dozens of unauthorized sequels, spin-offs, and adaptations. Jane may be undead, but her books have taken on a life of their own.

To make matters worse, the manuscript she finished just before being turned into a vampire has been rejected by publishers—116 times. Jane longs to let the world know who she is, but when a sudden twist of fate thrusts her back into the spotlight, she must hide her real identity—and fend off a dark man from her past while juggling two modern suitors. Will the inimitable Jane Austen be able to keep her cool in this comedy of manners, or will she show everyone what a woman with a sharp wit and an even sharper set of fangs can do?
LanguageEnglish
Release dateDec 29, 2009
ISBN9780345519009
Unavailable
Jane Bites Back: A Novel
Author

Michael Thomas Ford

Michael Thomas Ford is the award-winning author of numerous works for both adults and young readers, including Suicide Notes, as well as some of the earliest books about the HIV/AIDS crisis and several books about the LGBTQ community. He lives in rural Appalachia with his husband and dogs.

Read more from Michael Thomas Ford

Related to Jane Bites Back

Related ebooks

Humor & Satire For You

View More

Related articles

Reviews for Jane Bites Back

Rating: 3.766666778888889 out of 5 stars
4/5

180 ratings40 reviews

What did you think?

Tap to rate

Review must be at least 10 words

  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    3.5 starsIt’s current day. Jane Austen (now known as Jane Fairfax) is a vampire and is running a small bookstore in a town in New York State. She has written a novel and has been trying for a long time to get it published, but she has been rejected 116 times! She is friends with Lucy, the woman who works for her, and is fighting possible romantic feelings for a local man who is interested in her, Walter. I really enjoyed this! It’s just a light, enjoyable read and I enjoyed the literary characters. Funny thing – yes, it’s a vampire novel (so obviously unbelievable to start with!) – there were a few little things I found unbelievable, though they were little things. It’s the first book in a series (or trilogy?) and I do plan to continue.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This was far better than I expected it to be! It was very witty and well written. It captured the awkwardness of someone born and raised in the 1800's living among today's society. A light and easy read, with more than a few good laughs.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This is by far one of the silliest, funniest, most enjoyable books I have read in a while. Jane Austen is alive and well living as a vampire in upstate New York. She owns a book store and has finally succeeeded in getting her last book published (all it took was 200 years).

    This book is totally over the top in everyway. Many things happen that are just a little too convenient and there is some triteness, but honestly it is just so rediculously funny that it is totally worth it. The reader can expect cameos from Lord Byron and Charlotte Bronte and the biggest and best laughs of the book come from Charlotte's jealousy of Jane's success. This is not for you if you expect any kind of depth of character or a serious plot. It is a quick read that is good for a laugh and is highly enjoyable. I can't wait for the sequel.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This was a very entertaining read. I loved the character of Jane Austen as a vampire and there were numerous bits to make the reader smile or chuckle. The pacing was a bit off, and often the author ramped up the suspense only to have the situation easily resolved, but these are minor quibbles. Overall I'd definitely recommend it as a fun book.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Enjoyable, cozy, but not really a mystery. How would Jane Austen adapt without losing her essential self? Like her Lucy a lot.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    If I wasn't colossally bored, I wouldn't have picked it up. And as it was, I shouldn't have, as I was procrastinating. The story's fine, the characters are fun, but I was annoyed that characters from history were appropriated in such a cavalier way. Yes, I can read Jane Austen detective mysteries. Yes, I suppose I can read a vampire-love story, but did it have to make Charlotte Bronte out to be such a wacko?? Deducted points for cheap shots.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    If I wasn't colossally bored, I wouldn't have picked it up. And as it was, I shouldn't have, as I was procrastinating. The story's fine, the characters are fun, but I was annoyed that characters from history were appropriated in such a cavalier way. Yes, I can read Jane Austen detective mysteries. Yes, I suppose I can read a vampire-love story, but did it have to make Charlotte Bronte out to be such a wacko?? Deducted points for cheap shots.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Quick Review...for when I don't have a lot to say...

    It's no secret that I adore Austen adaptations. In fact, one of my lesser-known goals is to read ALL THE ADAPTATIONS. (Okay, MOST of them. I won't read the gross-out mashups.) When I saw this series, written by a man, I knew I had to get in on the fun.

    I wasn't disappointed. This series is just plain fun, and sometimes downright hilarious. I love that Jane Austen is an actual character in them, even if she is undead. Her inclusion added that special touch that the series needed to stand out.

    There are twists that I definitely didn't see coming, but enjoyed nonetheless. I won't spoil those for you, but be prepared to laugh out loud when you meet some of the supporting characters. I nearly died laughing.

    The book is well-written and one that I'll put on my 'to buy' list. I have a special shelf for all the adaptations, of course. This series will be a nice addition to my collection.

    3.5 Eiffel Towers
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I wanted this to be funnier than it was, but I did finish it.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Although this is a completely improbable story, I wasn't annoyed. Yay! Taking one of my favorite authors and turning her into a vampire put my back up before I even started reading, but I could actually see Jane Austen in this character. Nicely done, even if the plot was a bit too convenient at times.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    What an entertaining look at Jane Austen as a vampire! Ford is able to convincingly write in Jane's witty, somewhat snarky voice and endear her to the reader from the first chapter in which she hosts an Austen-inspired writer in her bookshop. Jane's disgust and frustration with Austen copy-cats (and especially not enjoying any royalties) were hilarious. Add in her struggle to get published, her grappling with the return of her maker, Lord Bryon, and her romantic interest in a human, make this a fast, enjoyable read. Recommended for those of us who enjoy classic literature and the monster variations. :)
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A fun read with Jane Austen as a vampire in the current period. I liked it so well that I am reading the sequel. A lot of humor and poking fun at the Austen industry, the romance writers' conventions and, I think, Harriet Klausner.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    What can I say that hasn't already been said? Jane Bites Back is a very well-written and well developed story about Jane Austen as a vampire bookstore owner residing in upstate New York in the 21st century. That alone gets us off to a pretty good start and then we learn that this Jane has received 116 rejection letters for her latest manuscript (well it was written when she was still alive but still...). Just when she begins to despair that she'll never be able to write again, she receives an email that her manuscript has been accepted and will be published within months. To make things slightly more interesting, she is enamored with a local contractor and is almost ready to move that relationship to the next level when an unfortunate ex appears. This "ex" just happens to be the vampire that turned her and he is Lord Byron. Now lets throw in a slightly deranged Charlotte Bronte (yes another vampire) into the mix, along with devoted Austenites versus Bronteites. I could tell you more but I'll simply say that this book is extremely funny, sometimes laugh-out-loud funny and a delight from beginning to end.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Jane bites back by is a parody of the recent trend of horror-izing literary classics. I haven't read any of that genre, so I can't really say how successful it is in its as a parody. In the end it veers toward becoming the supernatural gothic romance it is supposed to mock. I enjoyed the beginning more than the end.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A fun, light, read. Whoever thought of Jane Austen as a vampire being pursued by Lord Byron also a vampire
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I particularly enjoyed all the "writing" atmosphere - Jane's bookstore, and her publication experiences, and all the writer characters. It was fun! Making Jane Austen an immortal vampire in a modern world creates all kinds of fun situations, but there is a thread of more thoughtfulness. Being immortal means being cut off from friends and family, as they age and die. It means moving on and on and on in order to hide that immortality. It means being alone in a very real sense - and that makes this story more dimensional than one might first think.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    love love this book. Get back janeites and academics.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Fun, light, frothy read. Great for vacation or poolside. Jane Austen (and other historical figures) is a vampire trying desperately to get her new book published. She does her best to keep her vampirism secret, only feeds on mean people, gets a makeover, and fends off her many suitors. (The satirical bits on the Austen adaptation phenomanon were clever)I am a big fan of vampire novels because it is an area so open to creativity. "Daylight" by Elizabeth Knox, "Fangland" by John Marks, and the Sookie Stackhouse series succeed at creative twists and world-building. Jane Bites Back falls into a grey area: it's chick-lit light. Maybe THE chick-lit heorine of all time, Bridget Jones, should be a vampire! Mmmmmmm......
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I don't know why I picked this up, especially since I don't like Jane Austen. But Ford's novel was amusing, and often quite hilarious. Jane Austen as a vampire, who'd've thought? It's not his best work, but it's fun and I might read the second book when it comes out.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I thought this book was great! I had just finish reading Pride and Prejudice for the first time when this book showed up at my door and I think I ended up reading the whole thing in one sitting. There were definitely parts where I laughed out loud. Enjoyable read I would read the rest of the series.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I was looking for something light & lively, and succumbed to this rather charming contribution to the Austen craze. In this novel, Jane, having been sired as a vampire by another well-known literary figure, is now a bookseller in upstate New York - and having a lot of trouble getting her 200-year-old novel published.The book both contributes to and satirises the current Austen industry. It's not quite a vampire novel, not quite a literary thriller, not quite a satire - but it's still a lot of fun.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I have to admit that I was not looking forward to reading this book. I thought that I had had my fill of the vampire genre that is saturating the book market and I’m not much of an Austen fan (besides Northanger Abbey). However, I was pleasantly surprised by Jane Bites Back. It is witty and often funny. The author does a great job with the characters, especially Jane who is easy to love. When the book begins, Jane is 233 years old and owns a bookstore in upstate New York. She has written a novel and is ready to give up on getting it published after 116 publishers. The book covers her journey to publication as well as her journey to finding love. Especially appealing to me is the fact that though Jane is a vampire, the author doesn’t dwell on this. Much of the time the reader can forget that Jane is a vampire. I am looking forward to the next installment – I’m hoping the author will bring in even more historical figures.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I really enjoyed this tale of what if...what if, Jane Austen is not really dead ,but among the UNDEAD...a Vampire. She is "alive' and living in a small town in upstate new York. She owns a book store and not amused to see her various novels being "exploited",being re-vamped into horror novels that inlcude Zombies and the like...and become bestsellers! Poor jane, she has written a new novel entiltled CONSTANCE and she can't get it published. Until a New York publishing house seems very interested in her novel. The plot takes off from this point. It is a quick read, but very witty and fast moving. I can't wait for the sequel.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Kudos to Michael Thomas Ford! In a world full of Austen spin offs and monster mash-ups, Ford has stretched ahead of the pack with his unique tale of what life would be like if Austen were still alive—and coincidentally a vampire. Sound strange? Stranger yet is that the book is delightful in my estimation. I was prepared for a little tongue-in-cheek vampirism and fanciful dealings of Miss Austen, but I wasn’t quite prepared for how skillful Ford handled such absurd/bizarre notions. Jane Bites Back is simple and straightforward. It would be insulting to call it a piece of fluff, but in the same token—it isn’t a weighty tome. A long musing filled with clever wit that perhaps, just perhaps, Austen would have smiled over. I think this would be a perfect read for sitting in the park or snuggled in bed on a rainy day (seriously, are there any better times for reading??). Outside distractions don’t make it hard to keep up with the plot, so you can feel comfortable tackling it at any time, really. Austen lovers will enjoy it the most!!To round these thoughts off, it would be worthwhile to add that I really enjoyed Ford’s use of other prominent literary characters (spoiler…?) in the book, but sadly, I cannot go into further detail—as I don’t like to give much of the story away. Suffice it to say that he has left me wanting more and I highly anticipate his next work. You knew there would be one right? I mean, when vampires can live forever…there’s bound to be at least one sequel involved. Am I wrong?
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    This book was an easy and quick read with a very creative storyline. I thought it was better geared towards a young adult audience, especially with all the hype over vampire themed plots lately.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I got this as part of the early reviewer program - which is why I'm reviewing it without having finished it, though I feel somewhat bad about doing so. It's not half bad - far better than I expected it to be, really - but it's just not holding my interest and I can't figure out why. If you're the sort of person who must read everything related to Jane Austen, you'll probably like it. If you like parodies, you might like it. I don't even hate it - I just keep finding other, more interesting things to read.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I really enjoyed this book. I enjoy Jane Austen's novels, Pride and Prejudice especially, but I don't think you need to know much about Jane Austen to enjoy this book, or even really to have read any of her works. I am excited that this is a planned series and look forward to the next one! Hope it comes out soon...
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    While the reviews for this book tend to be mixed, I enjoyed it. In the interest of full disclosure, this is the first Jane Austen revamp (for lack of a better word) that I've read, despite owning at least a dozen others. Therefore, I have nothing to compare it to. It's a clever book, filled with undead famous authors (Bronte, Byron), lots of books, mystery, and a few laughs. Jane Bites Back is certainly an easy read, and while I was a little annoyed sometimes by the conveniences that just pop up and are never remotely explained (like why Lucy, her shop assistant, just totally accepts the fact that Jane is a vampire and goes straight to joking about it - wouldn't she be at least a little bit shocked or questioning?), they're seemingly there because the author couldn't think of a way to fit the necessary information in the right place for the story line. (Despite that last sentence, I have no real issue with how this book is written.) If you're looking for a nice twist on the classic author/monster genre that's out there, this book will certainly fit the bill. I'm really looking forward to the next book in the series!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Jane Austen, author of classic literature still loved today by millions, died in 1817. Little do these readers know that Jane Austen is still alive (er...undead) and well in New York. She has taken the pseudonym Jane Fairfax and is the proud owner of a bookstore. She has been trying to get her book Constance published for around 200 years. Unfortunately, it's been rejected by 116 publishers. Plus, she's constantly surrounded by the hype of spin-offs and sequels to her own books and she doesn't see one penny of royalties for any of it. Her life starts to turn around when her novel is finally picked up by a publisher. Things get complicated again when a darkly handsome man from her past returns to her life and anti-Austen, pro-Bronte blogger Violet Grey accuses Jane of stealing the manuscript. Can Jane preserve her peaceful life with these obstacles plus being thrust into the limelight in the wake of her new novel?All of the characters were detailed and realistic. I either loved them or loved to hate them. My favorites were Lucy, Walter, and Jane. Jane was exactly how I imagined her to be if she lived today. She is familiar with technology, but doesn't entirely trust all of it (like airplanes). She's a little old fashioned, but is basically just another normal modern person. She loves dark chocolate, wine, reading, and her cat. I can totally relate to her even though she's over 200 years old. I liked that the vampires in this novel really didn't have many supernatural powers. They can glamour humans, heal fast, and don't age. That's about it. I think this is part of why Jane was so easy to relate to. Even though she has a human side, she's still a vampire. And not the Twilight-esque vegetarian variety either. I admire how she unflinchingly embraces her nature and feeds on people, but not enough to kill them. There are no self-hating, brooding vampires in this story. (That means you, Angel and Edward.)Jane Bites Back was awesome. It was a fast paced, fun read. Parts of the novel were laugh out loud funny. The characters all had dimensions that made them This concept could have gone horribly wrong, but Micheal Thomas Ford succeeded with wit and humor. I look forward to the next book in the series.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I will admit that I wanted to really not like this novel. Yes, I love Austen sequels and remakes, but have a couple of "paranormal" type of Austen novels that I've avoided. Why did I try this one? Well, I will admit to being enough of an English major snob that once I noticed the literary name dropping going on (i.e. Lord Byron, Charlotte Bronte, etc.), I had to peek into its pages. All I had to do was read the first chapter to really be hooked. Ford's writing style is playful and commanding at the same time. He pushes us straight into the idea behind what it might be like if Jane Austen were a vampire, and what kind of life she might lead. Honestly, it was interesting, and kept me reading. Modern, vampire Jane is witty, and more experienced than the Jane Austen I pictured from her own era. As Jane struggles to get published, and to keep her vampire anonymity, I kept wanting her to find someone safe to confide in, or someone who would allow her to feel a peace in her life. To this, Ford introduces a shop worker and a male friend into the story who both pepper the story with their calm, realistic sort of friendships to help Jane deal with her crazy life.In short, I thought this book was great fun to read. The literary name dropping that went on, the inside peek into publishing, and the intrigue of considering "what if" Jane Austen was a vampire were too fun. Going in I was a skeptic, but after one chapter, I didn't go back out again...Ford's novel sank its literary fangs into me with a fun, "vampy" sort of read!