Possibility Parenting: 40 Ways of Working With and Parenting Teenagers
By paul hackett
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About this ebook
This book is intended to be of use to those who work with and parent teenagers. It describes methods and ideas that are useful in promoting possibility in parenting. Rather than being a parenting manual that tells you what to do at each turn this book starts from the principle that you are resourceful and can effect change. It contains numerous examples of how to create hope and possibility.
paul hackett
Paul Hackett is a social worker, solution focused practitioner and family therapist. He has spent a great deal of his professional life working with teenagers and their families. He has also like you been a teenager at least once before!
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Possibility Parenting - paul hackett
Possibility Parenting:
40 ideas for working with and parenting teenagers
Paul Hackett
_
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2012 Paul Hackett
paulhackett@aol.com
License Notes: This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this ebook with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Dedication
To Lucy, Alfie and Leo.
Table of Contents
Introduction
40 ideas for working with and parenting teenagers
1. Utilisation
2. Not one bit ashamed
3. Admit your fears.
4. Write your own manual.
5. Scooby Doo goes freelance.
6. Out adolescent.
7. House hotel for Brian Cade
8. Ready-aim-fire is not necessarily the best order.
9. Define goals
10. Future project.
11. Doing differently.
12. Escape meetings.
13. Parley (meeting on neutral ground)
14. Looking for exceptions
15. Share dreams
16. Soft inclusion
17. Don’t react, respond
18. Listen, no really listen
19. Jumping the shark
20. The best you is always with you
21. Falling out the family tree
22. Recruit supporters
23. Serious play
24. FUN & PLAY
25. A letter from your inner adolescent
26. Jedi mind trick 1(Jabba sees the boy and not the man)
27. The illusion of choice
28. Share battle scars (u got thru adolescence)
29. Focus on what is working
30. Question thyself
31. The art of the invisible
32. Move abroad
33. Scaling
34. Compliment
35. Down tools
36. What the Romans did for us
37. Celebrate success
38. Use the media
39. What next?
40. Saying goodbye
References
Introduction
Over the many years I have had the fun and sometimes exacerbating job of working with teenagers and their families as a social worker and a therapist I have lost count of the number of times people have asked me ‘what books I would recommend?’ I must confess that a lot of books on teenagers and how to work and live with them left me cold. I understand now that it was the element of prescription- the idea that following a set formula to effect change that I struggled with- it just did not fit with my experiences. And so the idea to collect some of my own ideas and thinking came out of this struggle.
Possibility Parenting is a collection of ideas that have at their heart the idea that parents are resourceful, hard-working and loving. They want the best for their kids. In wanting the best for our kids we often retain a sense of possibility that our actions might change or steer the course of their lives towards bright, happy futures. Sometimes we might have lost a sense of what actions to take and this collection of possibility flavoured ideas are intended as both useful ideas and useful ideas to reignite your own creative resources.
As a collection of ideas my hope and intention is that it will be useful to practitioners and parents alike. In steering clear of being a ‘parenting manual’ it allows parents and practitioners the opportunity to decide on the most useful courses of action rather than prescribing them.
I hope you find in the ideas something useful and possible. I also hope you get a sense of the enjoyment of my work through which these ideas were born.
40 Ideas for Working With and Parenting Teenagers
1) Utilsation
The great Psychiartist, Milton Erickson (O’Hanlon, 1987) has been a vast influence on a great deal of therapists and thinking around therapy and change. The idea of utilisation originates with Erickson’s approach which utilised whatever expereinces or competencies clients brought with(in) them to effect change. To give one example from amongst many, Erickson instructed a young woman with a gap in her teeth to practice aquirting water through it as a way of beginning a relationship with a young man who kept appearing at the water cooler when she went to get a drink. In doing this I have come to realise he also gave her the beginning of a relationship with herself. In defining this idea Brian Cade (2001, p84) has suggested that "people already have, from within their own personal experiences and