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    Possibility Parenting: 40 Ways of Working With and Parenting Teenagers
    Possibility Parenting: 40 Ways of Working With and Parenting Teenagers
    Possibility Parenting: 40 Ways of Working With and Parenting Teenagers
    Ebook81 pages53 minutes

    Possibility Parenting: 40 Ways of Working With and Parenting Teenagers

    By paul hackett

    ()

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    About this ebook

    This book is intended to be of use to those who work with and parent teenagers. It describes methods and ideas that are useful in promoting possibility in parenting. Rather than being a parenting manual that tells you what to do at each turn this book starts from the principle that you are resourceful and can effect change. It contains numerous examples of how to create hope and possibility.

    LanguageEnglish
    Publisherpaul hackett
    Release dateFeb 2, 2012
    ISBN9781466058330
    Possibility Parenting: 40 Ways of Working With and Parenting Teenagers
    Author

    paul hackett

    Paul Hackett is a social worker, solution focused practitioner and family therapist. He has spent a great deal of his professional life working with teenagers and their families. He has also like you been a teenager at least once before!

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      Book preview

      Possibility Parenting - paul hackett

      Possibility Parenting:

      40 ideas for working with and parenting teenagers

      Paul Hackett

      _

      Smashwords Edition

      Copyright 2012 Paul Hackett

      paulhackett@aol.com

      License Notes: This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this ebook with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Dedication

      To Lucy, Alfie and Leo.

      Table of Contents

      Introduction

      40 ideas for working with and parenting teenagers

      1. Utilisation

      2. Not one bit ashamed

      3. Admit your fears.

      4. Write your own manual.

      5. Scooby Doo goes freelance.

      6. Out adolescent.

      7. House hotel for Brian Cade

      8. Ready-aim-fire is not necessarily the best order.

      9. Define goals

      10. Future project.

      11. Doing differently.

      12. Escape meetings.

      13. Parley (meeting on neutral ground)

      14. Looking for exceptions

      15. Share dreams

      16. Soft inclusion

      17. Don’t react, respond

      18. Listen, no really listen

      19. Jumping the shark

      20. The best you is always with you

      21. Falling out the family tree

      22. Recruit supporters

      23. Serious play

      24. FUN & PLAY

      25. A letter from your inner adolescent

      26. Jedi mind trick 1(Jabba sees the boy and not the man)

      27. The illusion of choice

      28. Share battle scars (u got thru adolescence)

      29. Focus on what is working

      30. Question thyself

      31. The art of the invisible

      32. Move abroad

      33. Scaling

      34. Compliment

      35. Down tools

      36. What the Romans did for us

      37. Celebrate success

      38. Use the media

      39. What next?

      40. Saying goodbye

      References

      Introduction

      Over the many years I have had the fun and sometimes exacerbating job of working with teenagers and their families as a social worker and a therapist I have lost count of the number of times people have asked me ‘what books I would recommend?’ I must confess that a lot of books on teenagers and how to work and live with them left me cold. I understand now that it was the element of prescription- the idea that following a set formula to effect change that I struggled with- it just did not fit with my experiences. And so the idea to collect some of my own ideas and thinking came out of this struggle.

      Possibility Parenting is a collection of ideas that have at their heart the idea that parents are resourceful, hard-working and loving. They want the best for their kids. In wanting the best for our kids we often retain a sense of possibility that our actions might change or steer the course of their lives towards bright, happy futures. Sometimes we might have lost a sense of what actions to take and this collection of possibility flavoured ideas are intended as both useful ideas and useful ideas to reignite your own creative resources.

      As a collection of ideas my hope and intention is that it will be useful to practitioners and parents alike. In steering clear of being a ‘parenting manual’ it allows parents and practitioners the opportunity to decide on the most useful courses of action rather than prescribing them.

      I hope you find in the ideas something useful and possible. I also hope you get a sense of the enjoyment of my work through which these ideas were born.

      40 Ideas for Working With and Parenting Teenagers

      1) Utilsation

      The great Psychiartist, Milton Erickson (O’Hanlon, 1987) has been a vast influence on a great deal of therapists and thinking around therapy and change. The idea of utilisation originates with Erickson’s approach which utilised whatever expereinces or competencies clients brought with(in) them to effect change. To give one example from amongst many, Erickson instructed a young woman with a gap in her teeth to practice aquirting water through it as a way of beginning a relationship with a young man who kept appearing at the water cooler when she went to get a drink. In doing this I have come to realise he also gave her the beginning of a relationship with herself. In defining this idea Brian Cade (2001, p84) has suggested that "people already have, from within their own personal experiences and

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