Testosterone Poisoning Book 1 "It's what you do."

Book 1 It’s What You Do

By

Carole McKee

SMASHWORDS EDITION

*****

PUBLISHED BY:

Carole McKee on Smashwords

Testosterone Poisoning; Book 1; It’s What You Do

Copyright © 2015 by Carole McKee

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced with this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

DEDICATION

To my Erie Friends from Mx Group

Lydia, Kathy, and Kat

We worked together for a little while,

But we remain friends for life.

Chapter 1

Kyla Stanford expelled a shaky breath as she paced the floor. She was—what? Nervous? Yes—nervous—and a little scared. This breakup was inevitable. The past six months with Derek Atwood had not been pleasant ones, to say the least. Sunday morning’s conversation and Derek’s display of anger had been the final straw. So maybe she should be more than a little scared. Kyla had replayed Derek’s words over and over again in her mind, and she knew she had to get out of the relationship. Derek was on his way over for their standing Wednesday night date, which always consisted of a rented movie—his choice, of course—and a pizza. As she waited for him to arrive, she pulled Sunday’s entire conversation to the surface of her mind.

It had started like any other Sunday, with Derek waking up first and going into the shower after spending the night and engaging in bland missionary sex, where he was satisfied and she was left high and dry. While he was in the shower, she had gotten out of bed and made the coffee and his breakfast. It was ready just as he came into the kitchen. Remembering his words as he sat there eating his breakfast, made her back bristle.

‘Your work is not work; it’s a hobby,’ he said.

‘I’m tired of your laziness and lack of structure,’ he said.

‘You need to be independent,’ he said.

And then, to top it off, he said, ‘I just want you to be a woman I can be proud of. You’re just going to have to try harder if you want to keep me.’

The nerve of him. To even suggest that she apply for a clerical job in the office where he worked was just absurd. She was a photographer—a good one. In college, she studied the arts, specialized in photography, and it is what she does. She developed a following in her second year of college and many of those patrons still purchased her work.

Kyla began to fume. The nervousness was giving way to anger. Good.

‘Enjoy your useless, worthless day,’ he had told her before he left.

Well, her days were not useless, or worthless. She did quite well at her work. Besides the gallery that displayed her work, she had a contract with a local tourist magazine and another with a company that produced calendars and greeting cards. She did modeling shoots regularly and they were always lucrative.

Ooh, the nerve of that jerk! She hissed under her breath. She was going to do it. End it. Tonight. Then she remembered how he had pounded his fist on the table, causing the dishes to bounce and the coffee to spill out of her cup, and the nervousness returned. She wrapped her arms around her waist and peeked out of the living room window. Any minute now. He would be there any minute.

Derek criticized her cooking. He even had the nerve to suggest that he bring her some of his mother’s recipes so she could learn to cook like his mother. Good. The anger was returning—just in time. Derek’s car pulled into her driveway. Her heart began to race as she braced herself. It’s Showtime, she murmured.

Hi, Derek, Kyla greeted him as she opened the door.

Hi, Kyla….I brought the application…..do you want me to help you fill it out?

No.

Well, if you get it done I can take it in tomorrow. You could have an interview by Friday.

Derek, I’m perfectly capable of filling out an application…..but…..I’m not going to fill it out.

"Oh, now….come on! We talked about this!"

"No….you talked about it. I’m not interested."

Kyla…. Derek slapped the application down on the kitchen table. Why not?

"I am perfectly happy with my career. It is what I trained for….spent the time and money in college for….it’s what I do."

"And you’re proud of that?"

Yes, Derek…..I am. My work is well-known. I have a following…and you have……?

Stability…..structure…..and a guaranteed paycheck……

Oh…..I see. Do you know, Derek….that you could walk into your office tomorrow and be down-sized…..or fired? Me….nobody can fire me…..I’m my own boss.

Big deal! So you just want to do what you’re doing and….what? Get married? Have somebody keep you for the rest of your life? Well, don’t look at me. I’m not about to have a free-loader hanging on me...

Good! Good, Derek…..because the next thing on my agenda this evening is to let you know we are over. I……don’t want to see you any more.

What? Have you gone mad? Do you even know what you’re saying?

Yes…I do.

Derek held his arms up, palms out as he stared at her. Suddenly a sardonic smile crossed his face.

And just how do you think you’re going to live….without my help?

Derek….I don’t need your money.

Kyla reached into the cupboard, grabbed an envelope, and dropped it in front of him. Every time Derek left Kyla’s apartment, she would find money on the nightstand or on the table in the kitchen. She always took the money and stuffed it into an envelope and put it into her cupboard.

There…..every dollar you ever left here is in that envelope. I have not needed it; therefore, I have not spent it. It’s all there. Count it if you want to.

Derek favored her with a tight-lipped smile.

Okay…..I get it. You want more than what we have….don’t you? Are you waiting for a proposal, Kyla?

No, Derek…..I don’t want that. I just want it to be over. Go our separate ways. I’m……not happy. You don’t make me happy.

Well, you don’t do a hell of a lot for me either, Kyla.

All the more reason we should stop seeing each other. You want what I’m not….but what’s more….I don’t want to be what you want me to be. I’m a free spirit, Derek….and I like it that way. You’re not happy with me. There is nothing about me that you like, and you can’t find anything nice to say. It’s best if we just end it, Derek. Maybe you’ll find Miss Perfect if I’m not in the way.

Derek’s eyes widened as if he suddenly became aware of what she was saying.

"You’re serious? You are, aren’t you? You really want to break up. You’re breaking up with me. You’re pathetic…..do you know that? You could have so much with me…."

But nothing I want….Derek, don’t make this difficult. Let’s just part on friendly terms.

"You’re a stupid, stupid bitch!"

He turned on her abruptly and she flinched. His hands were balled up at his sides as he stared at her, rage in his eyes.

"Okay….fine. You’re a fool! You could have so much with me….but I guess you really don’t deserve me, do you?"

No, Derek, I guess I don’t. She returned his look of rage with a plastic smile.

Kyla….this is your last and only chance. If I walk out that door, we’re done. You’ll never see me again. Is that what you want? Kyla?

Yes, Derek….it’s what I want.

Is there…..someone else?

No.

Then….what?

Kyla sighed and brought her hands up to rub her temples.

Just go…..okay? Just go. Please.

Derek walked back through the living room and put his hand on the door knob. He leaned his forehead against the door.

Kyla……are you sure this is what you want?

Yes, Derek. We’re just not working out.

Tell me. Tell me why we’re not working out.

Derek, please go.

You’re a real stupid bitch, Kyla.

Good-bye, Derek.

Derek opened the door and looked back at Kyla again before he walked out and slammed it. Kyla stood there trembling as she listened for his car to start. As soon as she heard the engine turn over she ran to the door and locked it before she picked up the phone to call her best friend, Zippy.

Chapter 2

It’s a done deal. I did it. She told Zippy over the phone.

You did? Are you okay?

No….can you and Duncan come over for awhile? I’m still shaking.

Be right there. Zippy assured her before she hung up.

As Kyla waited for her friends, she realized that she was more than a little frightened. Remembering the look in Derek’s eyes, she felt a shudder go through her body. He could be dangerous. Her heart quickened momentarily and she shivered at the thought. She fairly flew to the door when she heard Zippy’s familiar knock. She opened the door to see Zippy holding a bottle of wine and Duncan behind her with a six-pack under his arm. They both hugged her.

Tonight we celebrate! Duncan laughed as he said it. To your courage and Derek’s loss. Damn, Kyla…he is such a jerk! I’m so glad you finally dumped him.

The three friends sat on the floor in the living room, drinking wine and beer, and eating cheese and crackers. The atmosphere was light and relaxed as they talked, laughed, and made jokes. Some talk was about Derek. Kyla would have thoroughly enjoyed the evening if she didn’t have that nagging feeling that she had not seen the last of Derek.

…

Kyla was so glad to have Zippy there. Friends since the seventh grade, Kyla and Zippy knew each other better than anyone else and they trusted each other completely. They had met at Saint Catherine’s Catholic Girls’ Boarding School when they both entered the seventh grade. Kyla had been home schooled up until then, and Zippy had come from a private all-girls academy. They became friends instantly, and remained best friends all the way through their high school years and into college. They attended the same college and for both of them, it was the first experience of attending classes and mingling with boys. They made a bet with each other as to which one of them would lose her virginity first. Zippy won by a week. Kyla was dating a sweet, quiet, good-looking second-year art major. He hadn’t even kissed her by the fifth date. Kyla had to make the move on him first, and the rest was history. Zippy’s man of choice was a tennis player. He was handsome, and all hands. Zippy kept him at bay and under control until she conquered him, thus beating Kyla in the bet by one week.

After losing their virginity, they started taking things slower, not wanting to get pregnant or even worse, get any diseases. Sex had lost its mystery, and they both agreed that the contest was over. From then on they would let nature take its course.

Both girls were art majors in college. Zippy studied fashion design and Kyla went into photography. Out of college, Zippy worked for a small company that made coats and outerwear. She was paid to design new looks for old favorites and she did well. The New York based company was pleased with her and compensated her well. Kyla began free-lancing while she was still in college. She managed to pick up a following long before she graduated, and she still maintained those customers today. Her work was enviable. She had a great eye for shadow, color, and direction, but more than that, she had patience. She could wait endlessly for the light to be perfect before capturing her shot.

Kyla and Zippy were from the eastern part of Pennsylvania. Kyla grew up just outside of Berwick, Pennsylvania, while Zippy grew up in Gladwyne. Zippy had an older brother, but Kyla was the only child of billionaire parents who jetted around the world on a whim, leaving their only offspring to be raised by a nanny, a housekeeper, a cook, a butler, and a chauffeur. When they were home with Kyla, they were loving, indulgent parents to make up for the times they were gone. Kyla credited her self-reliance to her upbringing, and secretly thanked her parents for it. Zippy, on the other hand, had a stay-at-home mom. Her father was a real estate tycoon with the ability to turn any dollar into a hundred. He provided his family with the finest of the finest and was proud of it.

Even though Kyla and Zippy—Kathryn to her parents—grew up in wealthy homes, never wanting for anything, they had never adopted the attitude that so many of their classmates had. Many of the students in their classes sneered and looked down their noses at those less fortunate, but Kyla and Zippy were not among that group. Both of them were down to earth and genuine. When they were looking into colleges, they took a trip to the western part of Pennsylvania to visit some colleges. They fell in love with Pittsburgh and the people who lived there. They decided immediately to go to one of the colleges in the area, and eventually settle somewhere around the Pittsburgh area. They loved the hills, the cobblestone streets, the old structures, and the culture available to them, but most of all, they loved the way the people were just down to earth and friendly. They also adored the Incline, a mode of commute up the mountain. Long before they were out of college, the two girls got caught up in Steeler-mania, and became avid Steeler football fans. Pittsburgh had truly become their home.

At the age of twenty-six, Kyla and Zippy were still best friends. Although compatible in every way, their features and attributes were quite different. Zippy had straight raven black hair and big brown doe eyes, was five-feet-one inch tall, and tipped the scale at an even one hundred pounds. She had a delicate look about her. Kyla, on the other hand, had curly dark blonde hair, eyes the color of turquoise, and a healthy-looking, golden complexion. She was five-feet-six and had perfectly proportioned curves, excellent posture, and great muscle tone, making her appear sturdy and athletic. They both had long, thick eyelashes, a feature that drew the focus to their eyes. They were naturally pretty girls.

Chapter 3

Seven days had passed since Kyla had ended her relationship with Derek. She hadn’t seen him and she was relieved, thinking that maybe her fears might have been her imagination working overtime. It was late afternoon when she pulled into her driveway and immediately began unloading equipment from the car. She had spent the day at a photo shoot of upcoming models at a local modeling agency—not one of her favorite projects. She didn’t like photographing models because there were never natural shots where one could catch natural beauty. Natural beauty didn’t sell products—products like make-up, hair color, and fashions, et cetera. She accepted these modeling shoots though, if for no other reason than they paid very well. She also accepted them as a form of penance for being so lucky to have a thriving, lucrative career in a field she loved. Everyone should suffer a little. It builds character. she had told Zippy a few months earlier.

After unloading the car, she planned on relaxing; maybe even soaking in a bubble bath. She would start on the developing the next morning. She locked the entrance to the darkroom and went to the kitchen to see what was in the freezer. Deciding on a frozen microwave dinner and a dish of ice cream for dessert, she tore open the cardboard container on the dinner, read the directions, punctured the top just like the directions told her, and popped it into the microwave. In seven minutes dinner would be done. The bell on the microwave went off simultaneously with the closing of the emptied dishwasher door. How’s that for structure, Derek? She said aloud, and then shivered involuntarily. The uneasy feeling came flooding back and enshrouded her whole being. Outside, a car door slammed and Kyla jumped. Tiny pin pricks ran from the back of her neck up through her scalp and then faded away. Kyla heard her tenants entering their half of the duplex. It must have been their car door she heard. She sighed and forced herself to relax as she carried her dinner to the table.

When she was halfway through her meal the telephone rang, causing Kyla to jump and drop her fork. The caller ID window showed that it was Kathryn Zipeda.

Zippy! Hi! Kyla sounded breathless.

What were you doing? You sound out of breath.

Nothing. Eating dinner. The phone scared me when it rang.

"Yeah, those things can be really scary," Zippy mocked.

Funny.

So how was your photo shoot today?

"Oh, the usual. Those girls make me look so fat!"

"Well…..since you’re not fat they must be emaciated."

"Well, anyway….you know I hate doing that. It went okay though. I got some really good shots that should print out nicely. You know….I’m thinking about investing in digital equipment. That stuff is awesome! But very expensive. I might have to break into the trust if I do. So how was your day?"

Good. A couple of my designs are going to be used in a fashion show next month. That’s bonus money for me!

Great! You’ll have to get us tickets for the show.

Kyla? What’s wrong?

Nothing…..why do you ask that?

Because….you’re rambling.

Oh, Zippy….I think I’m having panic attacks or something. I thought about Derek and got the chills…then every little noise sends me into orbit. I….just think…I haven’t seen the last of him…..and I’m kind of scared.

Maybe you should put in an alarm system….get a guard dog, too.

I guess I’m just being silly. After all, Mister Wonderful probably has already forgotten my name.

Yeah, I hope he has, anyway. Hey….gotta run. Duncan and I are going to see a movie. Call you tomorrow.

Kyla returned the receiver to its cradle and tossed the remains of her dinner into the garbage can under the sink. She no longer felt like eating ice cream, so she opted for a diet soda to drink while she watched the evening news. Just as the first half-hour broadcast ended the doorbell rang, causing her heart to slam against her chest. She felt her hands trembling as she went to the door and peeked through the peephole. Derek! Derek was standing on the other side of the door. He was about to ring the doorbell again when Kyla pulled the door open.

Derek. What are you doing here?

Kyla, can we talk? Please let me come in.

Kyla searched his face for any signs of anger or malice and saw only remorse. She sighed and took the chain off the door and let him pass through it. Derek started talking immediately.

Kyla….I’ve been thinking. You….you were right. I shouldn’t force you to take a job you don’t want or you’re not qualified for. I’m sorry. You were right about a lot of things. I can’t expect you to change overnight. I can be patient.

No, Derek…..that’s not what I said….or meant

Kyla, I’ve missed you. I didn’t realize how much you meant to me…..and I want to give you what you want. A home, security, and someone to take care of you.

No….Derek….that isn’t what I want. You never heard a thing I said….

Kyla….will you marry me?

With those words, Derek reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a small black velvet box. He opened the box to reveal a sparkling marquis solitaire diamond, its dazzling brilliance bouncing off the sun-drenched walls created by the setting sun.

Kyla vigorously shook her head.

"No…Derek…..NO! Don’t you get it? I don’t love you! Hell, Derek…..I don’t even like you! How could you possibly think that by coming here and producing a ring that I would change my mind? Did you expect me to crumble at your feet? NO! I…could never marry you. Not now….not ever! Damn it, Derek…please leave!"

Derek’s look of remorse was replaced with something entirely different. Rage. No, HATE. He stared into Kyla’s eyes as she watched the transformation take place.

"I came here practically on my hands and knees….begging you….asking you to marry me…..and you just rip my heart out like that? You….you selfish, cold-hearted, bitch."

He spoke evenly without shouting those words. Kyla detected a sinister note which caused a chill to run up her spine. She would have preferred that he shouted at her. It wouldn’t have been as frightening. She felt like her mouth was suddenly filled with cotton and her throat was constricting. She took a sip of her diet soda before she spoke.

Derek…..if that’s what you think of me why would you want to marry me? How many times have you told me that I was lucky to have you? That you could have anybody you wanted? You said there were lots of women out there who wanted you…and all you had to do was snap your fingers at any one of them and she would be yours. Well, snap your fingers, Derek. You’ll soon forget all about me.

You’re going to die lonely, Bitch. No man will put up with that kind of attitude.

So be it, Derek. Please go.

Derek slowly backed out toward the door, glaring at her as he moved. He looked down and appeared to be surprised that he was still holding the open ring box in his hand. Snapping it shut, he quickly shoved it back into his breast pocket and stepped outside the door.

Bitch! He growled through bared teeth just before he slammed the door hard against the frame.

Kyla let out a sigh of relief. She wondered how long she had been holding her breath. Her hands were trembling as she double-locked the door and put the chain lock on. On trembling legs she ran through the duplex and checked the basement door and then the back door, satisfied that every door was locked. Leaning against her kitchen counter, she closed her eyes and massaged her temples as she worked on controlling her breathing. She immediately thought about calling Zippy, and then remembered that Zippy and Duncan had gone to the movies. She called Zippy’s cell phone anyway. When the voice mail came on, she left a message.

Zippy! Call me as soon as you get this. Please! I’m….scared!

Curled up in her chair, Kyla sat with her arms wrapped around herself as she stared at the television. She forced herself to focus on the sitcoms, only to discover that she was laughing louder than was necessary. She saw headlights from a car pulling into her driveway and her body went rigid. A car door slammed, and then