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    WTF NFL?: The Pittsburgh Edition-2017
    WTF NFL?: The Pittsburgh Edition-2017
    WTF NFL?: The Pittsburgh Edition-2017
    Ebook109 pages1 hour

    WTF NFL?: The Pittsburgh Edition-2017

    By RTB

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Are you ready for the upcoming NFL season?
    If you answered yes, while twirling a yellow towel in your other hand, this is definitely the book for you.
    Sadly if you said no, well you have issues... BUT reading this fabulous publication is a great first step to working through said issues.
    Regardless of your particular level of football interest, this book will help you survive the 2017 season. The football insights are great for any fan whether they’re watching, ranting, gambling or doing some combination of the three. Yes the player predictions cater to fantasy fanatics, but there’s also lots of humor and great historical facts for everyone to enjoy. You will have a good story to tell at the bar or next family gathering... guaranteed.
    The author has bled black & gold his entire life, so while he’s been fair in writing all of the player bios... he still loves him some Stillers!
    You will enjoy this book regardless of how you feel about Steeler Nation, but if you’re not a fan that’s fine. Say three “Hail Marys” and two “Our Francos” and all will be forgiven, otherwise look for a non-Pittsburgh edition.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherRTB
    Release dateAug 22, 2017
    ISBN9781370155026
    WTF NFL?: The Pittsburgh Edition-2017
    Author

    RTB

    Born in McKeesport, Pennsylvania the author currently resides and rants in Northern California.

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      Book preview

      WTF NFL? - RTB

      WTF NFL? – The Pittsburgh Edition-2017

      By RTB

      Copyright 2017 RTB

      Smashwords Edition

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      WTF NFL?

      … and… what’s up Jagoff?

      This is a rant about football, plain and simple.

      Not that godless form of football, that true believers call soccer, but the supreme version that most Americans watch on weekends beginning at the end of summer on through to the middle of winter. I will focus on the more professional version of football that is mainly played on Sundays and Monday nights, exulted in the major cities of our land, as opposed to the college variety that fuels much of the football fan base in the South and other nether regions.

      2015 marked the first foray into sports writing for this author and it has been met with continued enthusiasm from fans all over the world… as well as many purported fantasy championships… so I decided to give it another go this year.

      I’d like to take a moment to thank all of you who enjoyed one of the previous editions, particularly those of you serving overseas; hopefully this year’s edition is as helpful as the last two. Not to mention… make me big in Germany again guys!

      Why should I read this book?

      Great question, I’m glad you asked!

      Since you are reading this, you’re probably a Yinzer who has the same passion for our esteemed franchise that I do, therefore this will be a fun read that you will enjoy. (WARNING - If you don’t know the meaning of the word Yinzer or have never spent time in a Pittsburgh bar, you might want to check out the other versions of this book or find some other publication, because there’s a good chance I’m going to really tick you off should you continue reading.) You might not learn a lot, but this will be a nice review of all the football things you already know, as well as a good preview on the upcoming season in which we try to win another Lombardi for the late great Dan Rooney. Even though one of our resident potheads has just been cleared by the NFL to return and the other one is holding out from training camp, this season holds great promise!

      If you happen to be a bandwagon jumper, who simply wants to get onboard the wagon of the team with the most Super Bowl victories; this book will get you up to speed on all the things you need to know so you won’t sound like a Jagoff. By the way, if you are a bandwagon jumper I must point out that our team hasn’t won the big game in several years, so you’re either really late to jump onboard or your timing might just be perfect.

      Should your reason for perusing this opus revolve around a newfound relationship in your life, e.g. you’re dating somebody from the Burgh and want to identify better with them; let me assure you that you have chosen wisely. Good call! You just might find that special someone yet.

      Perhaps you’re reading this due to some Machiavellian interest, maybe you’re a fan of one of the lesser teams and you want to know how higher beings think, or perhaps you’re just a high level football executive who’s actually trying to understand the concept of rationale thinking? Either way, you should tread carefully since karma can really come back to bite you… unfortunately this season, there are no other editions of this book available due to time constraints and other commitments. Last year I spread the love to a few other teams by offering Bay Area and Los Angeles editions, after talking to fellow fans from those places, but I just couldn’t pull it off this year.

      We are on the verge of a new era in football; hopefully this book will help you understand that. There is something in here for every level of interest; football history lessons, current events from this offseason, updates on rule changes, speculation on the upcoming season, fantasy football tips and projections, as well as some really funny writing... or so I’ve been told.

      Football followers will enjoy much of the silliness and possibly learn a thing or two that they missed over the spring/summer. Casual fans will walk away with a better understanding of the game and many of its nuances. Fantasy football players will enjoy the latter sections of this book, which detail player movement and make predictions for the upcoming season. Hipsters and bandwagon jumpers will actually sound believable after reading this, providing their brains actually work enough to memorize some conversation points. Pundits might find a couple points to run with, but in all likelihood will probably never even hear about this. And last but not least, any actual players, coaches or executives who read this will probably be mortified by most of my rants, BUT should still find certain portions highly entertaining.

      IF YOU READ THE 2015 OR 2016 EDITIONS YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT MANY OF THE FICTIONAL RIFFS AND HISTORICAL PARTS HAVE NOT CHANGED! You aren’t crazy or experiencing some sort of deja vu when you read those sections, you actually have read it before. All the numbers were crunched for the various statistical sections/predictions and a couple other things have changed, but very little history has been rewritten in the past year, so most of that remains as is. In light of the franchise moves as well as more data regarding player safety, those sections have been rewritten entirely.

      You will not find any groundbreaking knowledge in this book, nor will you find any interviews with former players or coaches. I have no ties to the royal family (aka The Rooneys) nor do I make any claims of being an expert or authority on the game that is America’s true pastime. That being said, I hope you will be entertained by the passion this author has for the game, inspired by nearly forty years of being an educated fan and a fan of The Nation that need not be named.

      This masterpiece comes to you as training camps are in full swing; as a result it has more current player information than the magazines and journals that came out in print back in May and June. If you’re using this for a fantasy football league or one of the online betting sites you will definitely want to verify any injuries, suspensions or arrests as I’m sure at least twenty of those things happened in the time that it took to edit this book.

      Last but not least, to keep this rant/book family friendly for the little Jagoffs, I have refrained from using any real profanity throughout the book.

      Enjoy!

      The Yinzer Who Wrote This

      p.s. To paraphrase another ‘huuuge’ class act… Did you hear? People are saying the commissioner is a Jagoff... people are saying this, so it must be true… sad, so sad.

      Origins

      Although I am a huge football fan, as well as an avid fan of history in general, I am not a football historian. If you want that kind of information I suggest you run over to the Carnegie and look up one of the many books that focus on such things. That being said it is important to know the origins of the game, if for no other reason than to let you hold your own in any barroom conversation, or at the very least not come across as a complete Jagoff.

      Early European immigrants began playing the game back in the 1800s, it was a game that many brought with them from the old

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