A Spiritual Journey: An Autobiography

© 2009 Margaret M. Smith. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 10/29/2009

ISBN: 978-1-4389-6603-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-467-05918-3 (ebk)

Printed in the United States of America

Bloomington, Indiana

Unless otherwise indicated, all Scripture quotations are taken from the New King James Version, Copyright,1982, by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. Copyright 1973,1978,1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

Scripture quotations marked (AMP) are taken from the Amplified Bible. Copyright, 1958,1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Other versions used:

KJV –The King James Version

Phillips Translation

Margaret M. Smith

1-506-375-6137

marsmithnb@msn.com

Contents

Dedication

Foreword

Preface

CHAPTER 1

An Unexpected Visitor

CHAPTER 2

The First Thirty Years

CHAPTER 3

A Hunger for the Word

CHAPTER 4

God’s Faithfulness

CHAPTER 5

God Continues to Work

CHAPTER 6

New Challengers

CHAPTER 7

Spiritual Warfare

CHAPTER 8

The Vision

CHAPTER 9

The Hospital

CHAPTER 10

A Living Hell

CHAPTER 11

Moving On

CHAPTER 12

New Challengers

CHAPTER 13

On Being a Disciple (A Learner)

CHAPTER 14

A Handicapped Child

CHAPTER 15

Maturity

CHAPTER 16

A Faithful Sister

CHAPTER 17

Cancer Strikes

CHAPTER 18

Speaking Engagements

CHAPTER 19

The Fredericton Years

CHAPTER 20

A Stranger in the Night

CHAPTER 21

Coping with Pain

CHAPTER 22

Retirement Years

Epilogue

Dedication

To my dear husband, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.

May you be blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life (Philippians 2:15,16a NIV).

Foreword

Late one afternoon in November, 2008, Marg Smith stopped by my church office to offer a cheery word of encouragement. This was not unusual in itself since she had done so several times previously. That particular visit, however, remains vivid in my memory.

During our thirty or forty minutes together, Marg recounted, one after another, several events from her early years and emphasized how God miraculously had intervened through various challenging circumstances. She recited these stories with such energy and clarity and in such vivid detail, I was able easily to picture the events. I sat there thinking what a wonderful blessing her story would become for many if she were to record her experiences, thoughts and feeling on paper. In retrospect, I believe that God was preparing Marg for the writing of the book you are about to read.

This book is a clear description of what God can do through one sincere woman who fully places her trust and will in the Lordship of Jesus Christ. Marg, in many ways, is a most ordinary woman. But, because of God’s limitless power and her willingness to live under His control, she has ministered to countless numbers of people, supported her husband through years of productive ministry, and shaped her children into gifted men and women. Furthermore, she has cared for friends and strangers in her home while suffering in ways that most of us do not understand.

The following account is a portrait of God’s love not only for Marg Smith but also for each of us as undeserving recipients of His grace. As you read these honest and sometimes painful retellings, ask God to deepen your understanding of grace and give to you a greater willingness to be open to His Spirit. Marg’s knowledge of Scripture, breadth of life experience and honest heart is indeed a rare and valuable combination. As you share in her journey, doubtless you will notice personal growth and change as you become all that God has planned for you in your own spiritual journey.

Rev. Garth M. MacKay

(Marg’s former pastor)

Preface

The one thing that separates true Christianity from every other religion in the world is that it is a personal relationship with the Almighty God through faith in Jesus Christ. This is an awesome truth and for those who have never experienced this relationship, it is very difficult for them to comprehend.

The good news is that we can all have this personal relationship and our spiritual eyes can be opened. The Bible says:

For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

For since, in the wisdom of God, the world through wisdom did not know God, it pleased God through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe.

For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble are called.

But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty.

That, as it is written: He who glories, let him glory in the Lord (I Corinthians 1:18,21,26,27, and 31).

In I Corinthians 2:7,8,9,10 and 14, we read:

But we speak the wisdom of God in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God ordained before the ages for our glory, which none of the rulers of this age knew; for had they known, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory.

But as it is written: Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.

But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God.

But the natural man does not receive the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; nor can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.

God’s free gift of salvation is available to all as found in John 3:16: For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. And the Bible says:

But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name (John 1:12).

As His children we can have this wonderful intimate relationship with the God of the universe, the Creator of the world, our Heavenly Father. God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth (John 4:24).

This journey is about simple faith in the promises of God. He is the rewarder of them that diligently seek Him (Hebrews 11:6b) and I have found this to be so true. Life has been an adventure in living! It has not always been easy, but so rewarding and the best is yet to come. All I can say is: To God Be The Glory.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not to your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5,6

CHAPTER 1

An Unexpected Visitor

It all happened on a cold, wintry December night in 1965 with the wind howling and the snow blowing. It was family night in the Smith household and I and the children, Kevin, seven, and Karen, only two, were busy decorating the Christmas tree while the fire crackled in the fireplace.

My husband, Fred, had left the room to pop popcorn in the kitchen and the aroma was filling the air with anticipation of relaxing for a few minutes, admiring the tree, enjoying the warmth of the fire, and having a treat.

Suddenly the phone rang, and on the other end I could hear a faint hello with sobbing. I immediately recognized the voice of a girl I had met months before in a meeting at the Provincial Home for Women who had been in trouble with the law. Kim (not her real name) had made a profession of faith in Jesus Christ at that time and had expressed a desire to live for Him.

She had been released from custody and had returned to her home in another province. Now she was on the line and I quickly asked from where she was calling. Through her sobs she said she was at the local train station, had no money, no place to go, and no one loved her.

I assured her that we loved her and more importantly God loved her. Even though a blizzard was raging outside the warmth of our home, I told her my husband would come and pick her up and bring her home.

The following week was Christmas and Kim was enjoying herself with us, but had a heavy heart because she felt she was pregnant and didn’t know what she was going to do. We assured her that after the holiday we would see what could be done.

The first thing that needed to be done was to see if she were pregnant. To her amazement and joy, she was not. That was a cause for rejoicing and praising the Lord! We sought to help her deal with her past, and she asked God to forgive her. Then she had a desire to make a recommitment to the Lord. She became active in the youth program at the church and we were instrumental in getting her a nanny job in the community. She would stay at her workplace during the week and return on weekends to be with us

All seemed to be going well, but Kim had deep resentment toward her parents and she felt that they did not love her. Any effort to unearth the foundation for this deep resentment was not that successful. It seemed like a mountain was being made of a molehill all the time. There was nothing that seemed to be that serious, but to her it was devastating.

Three weeks after she started her job, we had a phone call from her employer saying that Kim had slashed her wrists in a suicide attempt and they had taken her to the hospital. This came as a shock to all of us, because she seemed to be doing so well. But deep inside, things were not well.

CHAPTER 2

The First Thirty Years

Earlier in the fall, I had started reading the book, The Christian’s Secret of a Happy Life, by Hannah Whitehall Smith. This book was used to revolutionize my walk with the Lord.

I had been brought up in a strict church denomination that had a lot of do’s and don’ts as far as being a Christian was concerned. Even though I wanted Jesus to be my Savior as a child, I secretly hesitated because I thought I might like to do some of the don’ts when I grew up like dancing and going to movies.

My Conversion Experience

That all changed when as a twelve year old in 1947, I was invited to attend the Senior Recital of a student at Providence Bible Institute in Rhode Island by her mother, who was our Junior Youth Leader at church.

Because we were special guests, we sat at the president’s table for the evening meal before the concert. Before sitting down and grace was said, everyone started to sing the chorus: Oh, how I love Jesus, oh, how I love Jesus, oh, how I love Jesus, because He first loved me.

I looked around, being impressionable at twelve, and faces were aglow with the love of the Lord. I couldn’t sing it and mean it, and suddenly the tears began to flow and I felt embarrassed.

I cannot remember anything about the evening. I do remember the long ride home in the pouring rain, getting down on my knees beside my bed and asking the Lord to forgive my sins and come into my life.

My life was never the same after that! I had such a longing to be what God wanted me to be, but oh, so many lessons to learn!

Because of my early upbringing I had a struggle with dancing and movies. I had not been allowed to attend movies as a child even though all my friends went every Saturday afternoon.

Shortly after my becoming a believer, I was invited by my friend’s mother to go to a movie in Boston with them. I remember asking my mom if I could go and she said we tried to bring you up as we thought the Lord wanted us to, but now you have got to make your own decisions. Guess what? I didn’t go.

Dancing was a struggle! In our Junior High School we had ballroom dancing every noontime and I loved it. I would go without lunch to dance. I really did not have all those sexual feelings that I was told made dancing so wrong, but I struggled in my Christian walk with doing it.

One day I was asked to a prom by a fellow believer and I prayed whether or not I should go. I remember asking the Lord to take the desire completely out of my life if I were not to go, and in the morning every desire to dance was gone.

I have to admit in this stage of life, I believe there is dancing that can honor the Lord. Ps. 149:3 says: Let them praise His name with the dance.

A Dedication of My Life

At a Billy Graham Rally in Boston in 1949 I dedicated my life to fulltime service and immediately thought that I would be on the mission field someday.

Even though I hoped someday to be married and have a family, I was confronted with the possibility of going to the mission field as a single person. I struggled with this concept. Would I be willing? It took me over a year to come to that place where I was willing to go, married or not.

Now I would have to prepare myself for service either as a nurse or a teacher. In those days missionaries were usually trained in one of these areas. I could no longer just have Bible training and go as a missionary’s wife if I were to be single. I did not feel smart enough to be a doctor.

Teaching was out of the question for me. I couldn’t even get up in class and read a paragraph without hyperventilating from nervousness. How could I ever teach?

Nursing would have to be it; so as I entered high school, I changed from the Commercial to the College Course. I had only one ambition in life and that was to be in the Lord’s will – whatever that was!

Proverbs 3:5,6 says: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and