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    You Don't Have to Be a Wimp to Be Abused: An Easy Guide to Understanding Domestic Violence Against Women
    You Don't Have to Be a Wimp to Be Abused: An Easy Guide to Understanding Domestic Violence Against Women
    You Don't Have to Be a Wimp to Be Abused: An Easy Guide to Understanding Domestic Violence Against Women
    Ebook95 pages2 hours

    You Don't Have to Be a Wimp to Be Abused: An Easy Guide to Understanding Domestic Violence Against Women

    By Beverly Wallin

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    About this ebook

    Jane, is a composite character of many women, some fictional and some similar to true life. She is beautiful, strong-willed, intelligent and athletic. No one would suspect that shes a victim of Domestic Violence against Women.

    Jane encompasses the types of domestic abuse women suffer. She is brainwashed to be a people pleaser. She represses her true feelings to survive her home and school life. Jane must appear positive and happy to avoid punishment. She is disempowered to assert herself. To avoid the disappointment of her parents Jane lies and steals to get her wants and dreams met. She is screaming inside with her need to be loved unconditionally. Jane rebels by detaching from herself. Her unrealistic world view causes her to be co-dependent, vulnerable and nave, a walking target for domestic abuse against women.

    In the end she is empowered to finally get free and to heal.

    Praise for You Dont have to be a Wimp to be Abused (for Women)

    Wallin crafts a brilliant, insightful work. Readers will learn practical ways to deal with their issues. You wont be able to put this book down even if you dont identify with Jane. The Quick Reference Guide really nails the issues. ~ Marlene Worrell, novelist and screenwriter; latest release is Angel in Shining Armor.

    Very interesting and informative. I like the idea of using a fictional character narrative to explore the various issues surrounding domestic abuse. The technique works well and is preferable to the more traditional methods. ~ Laurence French

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisheriUniverse
    Release dateApr 21, 2016
    ISBN9781491792308
    You Don't Have to Be a Wimp to Be Abused: An Easy Guide to Understanding Domestic Violence Against Women
    Author

    Beverly Wallin

    Beverly Wallin, MA Psych, is a certified counselor, life coach and former newspaper columnist. Now retired, she has worked with seniors, challenged individuals, and victims of abuse. Wallin has written a series of books. You Don’t have to be a Wimp to be Abused, guides for men and women to educate them on how to avoid and to heal from abusive relationships. amazon.com/author/beverlywallin www.bevwallin.com

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      Book preview

      You Don't Have to Be a Wimp to Be Abused - Beverly Wallin

      YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A

      WIMP

      TO BE

      ABUSED

      An Easy Guide to Understanding

      DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

      AGAINST WOMEN

      BEVERLY WALLIN

      26777.png

      YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE A WIMP TO BE ABUSED

      An Easy Guide to Understanding Domestic Violence Against Women

      Copyright © 2016 Beverly Wallin.

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

      iUniverse

      1663 Liberty Drive

      Bloomington, IN 47403

      www.iuniverse.com

      1-800-Authors (1-800-288-4677)

      Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

      Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

      Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

      ISBN: 978-1-4917-9229-2 (sc)

      ISBN: 978-1-4917-9230-8 (e)

      iUniverse rev. date:  04/20/2016

      Contents

      Chapter 1 –   Introduction

      Chapter 2 –   Jane’s Childhood

      Chapter 3 –   From Innocence To Disgrace

      Chapter 4 –   Living The Detached Lifestyle

      Chapter 5 –   Engagement And Marriage

      Chapter 6 –   Raising A Family In An Abusive Home

      Chapter 7 –   The Transition Home

      Chapter 8 –   How Jane Healed From Her Abusive Relationships

      Chapter 9 –   Recognition Of Abusive Behavior And The Cycle Of Abuse

      Chapter 10 –   More Facts About Domestic Violence

      Chapter 11 –   Tools And Guidelines To Help Identify And Prevent Abusive Relationships

      Chapter 12 –   How Personality Disorders Relate To Abusive Behavior

      Glossary Of Terms

      BE SET FREE

      I am the rose my mommy gave me

      Planted in a garden, complete with weeds.

      The rose grew ‘though choked by thorns and

      Trapped by people pleasing, co-dependency.

      Deep inside, the rose heard music resonating,

      Chords that were off key and those with harmony.

      She heard the difference between wrong and right.

      And learned some new chords to make her garden bright.

      The rose began to weed her garden seeking

      To find the purity of her inner child, the rose.

      The thorns no longer trapped her, she could clearly see;

      ‘Though older and wiser, the original rose was finally set free.

      ~ Beverly Wallin and Josanne Franklen

      image%201.jpg

      FOREWORD

      This book tells the story of a young girl named Jane. Through Jane, the reader gains invaluable insight into how little girls while still in childhood are socialized and in effect brainwashed to adopt the Nice Girl Syndrome.

      As a frontline worker in a Transition House for women and children and in my personal practice as a Dr. of Traditional Chinese Medicine, I have encountered these children. I have witnessed first hand the indoctrination of young girls coming from abusive homes and the effects of what the author refers to as brainwashing. It follows them through their adult years, leading them into unhealthy relationships and setting them up to experience abuse as a normal state.

      The reader learns about the art of detachment and other survival tactics. He or she ultimately walks through the cycle of abuse to learn how to recognize in a new and unique way the behaviors and language of abuse.

      Ms. Wallin provides facts about domestic violence and offers tools, guidelines, and red flags to help identify and prevent abusive relationships. She sets out a quiz entitled Are you a good girl which enables the reader to clearly identify risk areas.

      This book is a must read for those individuals seeking to understand domestic violence and domestic abuse. The unique approach taken by the author enables the reader to self identify and understand the complex issues around domestic abuse. You will experience many Ah Ha moments.

      ~ Dr. Bethany J. Hill, Dr. Traditional Chinese Medicine, Registered Herbalist & Acupuncturist, Social Activist for mental health reform, Former Director of the TCM Association of BC, Author: Rhapsody in Thought and Food Cures for Common Ailments.

      image%201.jpg

      CHAPTER 1

      INTRODUCTION

      Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’ ~ Mary Anne Radmache

      I beg you take courage; the brave soul can mend even disaster. ~ Catherine the Great

      Do you know what police officers consider to be one of their most dangerous encounters? It’s entering into a scene of domestic violence. How many times do you think police are called in to do this? How often is the justice system involved in disputes, court hearings, and jail sentences related to domestic abuse? How common is this and who suffers? The answer is that it’s extremely common and everyone suffers in some way. Our law enforcement, social workers, counselors, psychologists, and dentists suffer. The general medical, housing and social assistance programs will also save a lot of time, stress and money if this injustice is alleviated even a little. Not to mention the toll on our families and the awful legacy it leaves.

      There is a shocking prevalence of domestic violence against women. Around the world one in three women experience domestic violence during her lifetime, with rates reaching 70 percent in some countries.¹ As many as 38% of murders against women are committed by their intimate partner.² More women aged 15-44 die, or become disabled due to domestic violence than the combined effects of cancer, malaria, traffic injuries and war.⁶ This does not account for all the millions and billions of unreported cases of domestic abuse. Or, for the number

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