Queen of Thrift: Snapshots of a Military Wife

CONTENTS

Dedicated

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Epilogue

Appendix

". . .Thou didst form my inward parts:

Thou didst weave me in my mother’s womb.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

My frame was not hidden from Thee,

When I was made in secret,

And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth.

Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance;

And in thy book they were all written,

The days that were ordained for me,

When as yet there was not one of them . . ."

(Psalm 139)

. . . I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord . . .

(Jeremiah29:11)

( New American Standard Bible)

DEDICATED

To Our Great Grandchildren:

Angel, Eloise, Estella, Hazel, Liam, and Jagger.

To Our Grandchildren:

Kellie and Eric, Richard and Ellie, Zachary,

Kristin and Paul, Luke, Emily,

Rebekah, William, Matthew, Jacob.

To Our Children: Kim and Richard,

John and Jill, Shannon and Paul, Bill Blackmon

As you read this biography may you

understand it from the same perspective

from which it was written; that is simply

a humble account of some of the days

Almighty God ordained for Betty

as part of His grand plan for her life.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

My wife Betty. Though I wrote this for you, I took a considerable amount of time from you. As the project lengthened, your grace and patience kept pace with it. Thank you.

My Editor and friend, Laura Watson. I leaned heavily on your time and expertise. You were always there for me. This work would not have been possible without you.

Roger Wilson. Your writing, technical skills and patient sharing of your valuable time played a huge part in the manuscript preparation plus satisfying the publisher’s technical requirements for the work.

My son John III (Jake). You were always there for my constant technical needs, granting me an over abundance of time and patience. In helping me, you took valuable time from your own business demands.

Daughters Kim and Shannon. Thank you for your timely, effective responses to my various appeals for help with the project.

Barbara Wallawrab, Jim McClelland, and Carol Harris. For your patience and expert guidance.

Last but far from least, thanks to my fellow army retiree and founder of Military Wives.com, Mr. J.B. Chattuck for your invaluable help with the Military Spouse Symbol for the book cover.

COVER by Rich Sullivan; (r.sullivan@mac.com)

INTRODUCTION

This book is rare. That’s because it puts the spotlight on the unsung segment of American womanhood—the military wife. Throughout our history, these exemplary women of character have formed the foundational backbone of America’s armed forces. The Queen of Thrift is one of them. Her name is Betty Jane Eleanor Whalen. She has been married to the author for over half a century.

Betty was initiated into life’s school of hard knocks at the tender age of five by braving the severe Vermont winters as she trudged the two-mile round trip to school each day alone. She was raised by an athletic, outdoorsman type father who desired a boy. He got Betty instead.

Betty grew up competing with the men, honing a character of grit and determination in the process. She could shoot a rifle, bait a hook, swing a bat, master the cartwheel, and excel at the local tavern’s shuffleboard.

Married to a soldier she was forced to move three times her first six months of marriage. At the age of 21, she and her five-month-old first-born daughter traveled to the island of Taiwan to join her husband who was stationed there. Travelling on a space-available status aboard military aircraft, the trip took nine days in the days before jet travel and disposable diapers. She kept her marriage intact in spite of being separated from her husband for three and a half out of their first 12 years of marriage raising from one to four children in the process. At age 25, she valiantly handled the earth-shattering, sudden death of her 3-year old daughter. In the process of returning from Taiwan, Betty staunchly withstood the prospect of imminent surgery on her 20-month-old first born on a ship crossing the Pacific in seas so rough it nearly capsized.

Featured in this narrative is Betty’s sterling motherhood—a motherhood presented from a different perspective. While certain attributes of this great institution are generally recognized and respected, others are not. For example, the areas of maternity, childrearing, homemaking, soccor-momming, and taxi driving are well known and mostly favorably acknowledged. However, when it comes to a mother’s determined resolve to uphold, protect and defend the sacred institutions of marriage and family against the constant thrusts of a world bent on discrediting or devaluing them, her efforts get scant attention. For her entire life Betty, and mothers like her, have persevered in this day-to- day, nitty- gritty, down in the trenches battle to honor these noble institutions.

The manuscript began as a light-hearted, tongue-in-cheek portrayal of an admiring husband’s view of the frugal, money-saving shopping practices of his amazing wife. Betty is an exemplary woman. Though she has been thrown some of life’s most vicious curve balls, she has slammed each out of the park for a home run. Betty is a winner, a scrapper, a steadfast, dyed-in-the-wool, first class achiever. Her ability to overcome adversity is incredible.

When I married Betty, I knew I was getting a rare gem—I had not planned on getting a financial thrift machine. Her shopping strategy has always been very simple. Be patient, never pay top price, look for the bargains, and buy quality merchandise, and shop the discount stores. These sound practices, religiously followed, have saved our household great sums of money over the years. One dollar in Betty’s capable, penny-pinching hands becomes from five to 20 dollars or more in the marketplace.

If, as a shopper, you are of the persuasion that believes price determines quality, and that the better products are found only in the higher-priced establishments, this book is not for you. If, on the other hand, you are willing to exercise some patience and apply the few basic principles described here, you will not only stretch your dollars and master the art of shopping; those shopping experiences will become more of a fun-filled adventure.

Whether you are, a newlywed woman looking forward to motherhood, a single mom facing life’s relentless challenges alone, an experienced herder of 21st century children, or a woman managing her own career you will find enlightenment, motivation, and encouragement from the lifestyle of this ordinary woman of extraordinary accomplishments.

About halfway through this writing, it occurred to me that the description Queen of Thrift did not do justice to the queen whose sterling character enable her to stand tall amidst the never-ending and sometimes brutal challenges of life. Relatively few women are married into the military as Betty was. Life’s ground rules broaden considerably for military wives. They must constantly expect the unexpected, such as separations—some quite lengthy. Six months after our wedding, the army unleashed one of those sizzling curve balls. One minute Betty and I were looking forward to a tour of duty in Germany, and the next my assignment was changed sending me, without Betty, to the island of Taiwan in the Far East. We would be separated for seven months. Our dreams of seeing Europe together vanished. My 21-year-old, pregnant wife would deliver our first child without me at her side. This separation proved to be only the first of many. The next one was for three months, then my assignment to Korea for 14 months. Five years later Vietnam claimed me for 15 months. During our 16 years in the army, Betty would Hold-the-fort for nearly three and a half years by herself.

Another factor played a part in my transition from short story to biography—my own childhood. I grew up saddened there were no grandparents in my life. My father’s parents both died before I was born as did my mother’s father. Her mother became blind at my age five and died when I was 14. I hardly knew her. I resolved not to let Betty’s offspring suffer the same disappointment. It is the intent of this manuscript to serve as a chronicle of Betty’s life for them.

Additionally, it is my hope that those countless, enduring women out there who are doing their very best also to stand tall in the on-going warfare for motherly credibility will find incentive and encouragement by the grit and courage displayed by the amazing woman of this book. By hanging tough with their patience, perseverance, and self-control, they too can be steadfast, victorious, first-class achievers.

To you stalwart and dedicated, military wives serving faithfully with your husband’s around the globe, you are a rare breed of feminine excellence. Don’t ever give up. Your unsung achievements against such challenges as political agendas, cultural changes, separations, and other military idiosyncrasies are admired and held in the highest esteem throughout all military annals. You are the backbone behind every tall-standing military patriot defending our nation and the main cohesive factor within your families. I hope you enjoy reading about the adventuresome life of one of your own. And don’t be surprised if you recognize yourself within the pages of this tribute.

CHAPTER 1

Introduction to Army Life

The return address on the large, official-looking envelope read:

DEPARTMENT OF THE ARMY

Office of Personnel Operations

The Pentagon

Washington, D.C.

She ripped open the top flap anxiously and hastily withdrew the contents. Her heart leaped as she spied what she was looking for in the first paragraph beneath the letterhead:

DEPENDANTS: BettyJane E. Whalen and Kim Anne Whalen. SPONSOR: First Lieutenant John J. Whalen Jr. DESTINATION: US Military Assistant Advisory Group, Taipei, Taiwan, Peoples Republic of China. POINT OF DEPARTURE: Military Airlift Command, McGuire Air Force Base, N.J. DATE OF DEPARTURE: 8 August 1956. PRIORITY OF TRAVEL, Category 3.

Her heart continued to race as she called to her mother working in the kitchen, Mom, I got my travel orders. The baby and I leave in two weeks from McGuire. At last, she’d be with her husband after being separated for what seemed an eternity, though in reality, it was only seven months.

A barrage of thoughts flooded her head as she rushed to the kitchen: John would hold his daughter for the first time. Kim would meet her daddy. What clothes would she take? What about clothes for Kim? She recalled John saying the weather was mostly hot. Where, exactly, is Taiwan? How long will it take to get there? John had said it was about 13,000 miles from New Jersey. Better take plenty of diapers, and some extra pins, some extra bottles too, and talcum powder, and baby lotion, and Vaseline. She hoped she wouldn’t forget anything. She’d make a list to be sure.

Then the terror hit. Suddenly she felt very alone. She could feel herself trembling. She had never flown before. In fact, she had never made a trip away from home alone before. A couple weekend visits to Washington, with her grammar and high school classes, plus a few motor trips with her family to Vermont, was the extent of her traveling. Planning a trip of an unknown length to an unknown destination without help terrified her. If it was just herself, she could handle it—but what about Kim? She’s still an infant. What if she got sick on the way? What if she forgot something important? Five months is the earliest flight age, Kim is barely five months.

Betty’s strength of character kicked in. She forced herself to rise above the occasion. I’ve got to do this, she told herself. So I’m alone, no sense in fretting—I’ll be alright. Suddenly her panic was gone. She could feel herself settling down as she regained control of her senses. She was all right now. She knew she was involved in something very big and she had to remain levelheaded. She reminded herself that just seven months ago the thought of holding official travel documents to Taiwan in her hands would have been inconceivable.

Her mind flashed back to her first arrival at Fort Campbell after her honeymoon. I had carried her over the threshold of a borrowed apartment. We would only be at Campbell for six months so we didn’t want to buy furniture and set up house. Prior to leaving for our wedding, I had arranged to borrow an apartment from a friend who would be away on temporary duty upon my arrival back at the Post.