The Spirit Behind Badge 145: A Personal Walk and Devotional with a Law Enforcement Professional

Copyright © 2013 Jim McNeff.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Scripture taken from the New American Standard Bible, © Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Author Credits: Police Lieutenant (Ret.), Medal of Valor Recipient, Distinguished Service Medal Recipient.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-1846-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-1847-4 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-1845-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2013922080

WestBow Press rev. date: 12/26/2013

Contents

Chapter     Title

Foreword

Introduction

1     What Is It?

2     Officer Involved Shooting

3     Civil Unrest in Los Angeles

4     The Prodigal Son

4.1   Terms of Parole

5     My Partner was a Bank Robber

5.1   Lessons Learned

6     Dealing with Disappointment

7     Masquerade

8     The Vine

8.1   The Legacy Map of Allan McNeff

9     10-9 the Clothing Description

10   Situational Awareness

11   Freedom Wasn’t Free

11.1   Incredible Virtues

12   Jesus Wept

13   Lord, Please Help Me Help My Stupid Self

14   My Friend Vinny

15   Tarnished Gold

16   The Intersection of Frank and Jim

16.1   Verses to Soothe the Soul

17   There Must Be a God

17.1   Coping with ‘Murphy’s Law’

18   Quality Control

19   Handcuffing Police Chaplains

20   The Gift of Leadership

21   On Duty Baptism

22   Here’s Your Sign

23   Defilement in the First Degree

24   Spiritual DNA

25   Restorative Powers of Forgiveness

25.1   Jamie’s Personal Note

26   It Starts in the Locker Room

27   From Enemies to Allies

28   Jesus is Here

29   Death Row

29.1   Sing You into Heaven

30   Awesome Responsibility

31   Character Counts

31.1   Gatekeepers and Guardians

The Life of Joseph

Acknowledgements

Disclaimers

Bibliography

The law enforcement profession is an incredible opportunity for the Christian to observe the working out in real life of the biblical principles of sin, consequences for that sin, and the natural tendency of human beings to act in a manner the Scriptures clearly teach is the norm for fallen man. Jim’s book not only is a wonderful tool to remind us how to observe these things—but how to put them through the grid of Scripture in our own life and the lives of those around us. This book can be an effective tool in helping the Christian police officer or deputy to integrate his or her work with faith. I am thankful he took the time to put this together for all of us who have or do wear the badge of the centurion.

Dr. Jack Enter; Law Enforcement Trainer and Author,

Challenging the Law Enforcement Organization

My friend, Jim McNeff, is a wonderful mixture of macho and marshmallow, a man’s man with a soft side. In this fantastic book, Jim shares his journey of faith in a way that will resonate with people everywhere. Read this book then share it with a friend or co-worker!

Kurt Johnston; Pastor’s Management Team and

Director of Student Ministries, Saddleback Church

As a Christian and career law enforcement professional, I was captivated reading this book. Jim McNeff literally bares his soul, not only as a witness for Christ, but also as a mechanism to reach police officers where it counts: their hearts. Jim speaks openly about the profession, his triumphs, failures, and faith in a way that public safety personnel will relate to. He provides his readers with an unobstructed view of some tough and valuable lessons—I applaud his efforts and recommend this book.

Steve Ames; Captain (Ret)

Center Coordinator, Golden West College

Criminal Justice Training Center

It’s been my pleasure to get to know Jim McNeff personally through a men’s Bible study we attend together. I began to read his stories and accounts of his life as a police officer in Southern California. This was exciting stuff! I know his original intent was to write for the law enforcement community, but the appeal of his communication is much broader—because the message of the cross has no boundary. The Spirit behind Badge 145 is interesting and inspiring enough to be read by any person seeking to grow as a follower of Jesus Christ. And, yes, it will absolutely hit home with our men and women serving in law enforcement at every level.

Jon Jobe; Community Pastor

Bent Tree Bible Fellowship

Jim McNeff is a decorated law enforcement veteran who had a storied career. The lessons learned he shares in The Spirit behind Badge 145 are of value to both current and future police officers.

Paul Sorrell; Chief of Police, (Ret.)

I have had the honor of knowing Jim McNeff and seeing him live out his faith in the Lord. This book provides encouragement and inspiration that will help deepen and strengthen relationships for those who seek to know the Lord with greater intimacy. Only changed people can change the world around them. Enjoy the journey with Jim.

Jim Wilke; Police Officer, (Ret.)

Pastoral Care/Membership Pastor, Saddleback Church

The Spirit behind Badge 145 is an insightful journey into the real life of a law enforcement officer, living out his faith on the street. Jim’s authentic revealing of himself and his career calls us to reflect on our own journey. A must read as you find your rhythm of life in the workplace.

Kerry R. Mackey; Host, Man Up Outdoors

This book is dedicated to the loving memory of

my parents, Allan and Twyla McNeff. They

wanted nothing more than to have their eleven

children love the Lord God with all their hearts and

with all their souls and with all their minds.

Foreword

I t thrills my soul to see what Jesus can do through those who are willing to serve him. Jim McNeff is one of those servants—both in profession and in ministry. Now, he serves us with the beautiful retelling of raw and unfiltered stories that point to God’s goodness. The drama on these pages will fascinate your mind and connect with your heart.

Jim became my friend while we were both actively engaged in ministry. During our years together I heard many of the amazing stories that are described throughout this book. I’d always marvel at Jim’s story-telling ability and was curious how he combined the real and dangerous world of law enforcement with his very personal and strong faith in Jesus throughout his career. As friends, we have laughed, cried, and shared wonderful moments together. Up close I’ve watched this good man lead, husband, father, disciple, and love many people with a tenderness that is rare and uncommon in his profession. Jim is the real deal and I praise Jesus for transforming his heart.

The Spirit behind Badge 145 was originally targeted to law enforcement families, but the writing morphed into something broader. It has become a book of amazing stories that will deepen anyone’s faith and help them know Jesus more intimately (and, if you’re like me… provide the adrenaline rush of good cop stories).

Jim has expressed the gift of encouragement to me in such timely moments of my life that I’ve never doubted his spiritual connection. He knows and walks with Jesus. He is sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit and his words of encouragement will come across like small deposits of love from God himself.

The Thin Blue Line is a colloquial for police forces—it refers to law enforcement as the line separating good from evil. Jim has frequently expressed a belief that both ministry and law enforcement share similarities since each deal with factions of humanity that frequent the wrong side of the line. In this book, Jim clearly delineates where the line is—as he has seen it from both sides. His goal is to help us see the same thing and choose to thrive where most settle to simply survive.

I’m confident you will be blessed as you see God’s story interacting with Jim’s stories that will help reveal a deeper storyline within your own life.

Doug Fields

Ministry Trainer, Teaching

Pastor, and Award Winning Author

October 2013

Introduction

I was a hard charging young man when I entered law enforcement—the kind of guy who swung for the fences. Over the years I have watched other quality young men and women begin their careers with that same enthusiasm and idealism. We began our careers with the best of intentions; to serve humanity and our respective communities as the gatekeepers and guardians to peace and tranquility. We shared a strong sense of justice, and a desire to apprehend criminal offenders.

Those who shared my faith in Jesus Christ had a twofold goal—to remain strong in faith and to serve the Lord in the noble calling of law enforcement. Unfortunately, many of us were somewhat naïve at the start and unaware of the toll the profession would take on our personal and spiritual lives. Most young police officers are generous servants when they begin their careers. But over time, reality breeds a growing skepticism. A police career requires shift work to cover a twenty-four hour, seven day per week operation, not to mention holidays. It is easy to become detached from one’s support network and church. The people we deal with each day during the course of our duty are typically having a bad day by the time they come under our jurisdiction. We take crime reports from citizens who have been victimized; we arrest others who have done the victimizing. By the time the badge arrives on scene, turmoil reigns. People are not excited to see us. We see bodies mutilated by severe auto collisions, homicides, and natural disasters. Others are battered and bruised in less severe ways, but still with damaging results. We see emotions torn and tattered. We are required to be polite and professional while dealing with a victim in need one moment and a hardened career criminal the next.

The balancing act is tough and creates new challenges every day. It is easy to become cynical and worn out. Those who wear a badge know these are traits that sometimes assist in the performance of our duty, but they are traits that handicap and damage personal relationships. As a result it becomes increasingly difficult to communicate with those outside law enforcement.

Some figure it out over time. Some do not. Either way, there is a price to be paid. This is the relationship challenge that has led me to write this book. There is a need for a Christian devotional specifically written for police officers and their families by someone who wore a badge. But the value of this book can be discovered by anyone who wishes to yield to God and find the purpose for his or her existence.

There is institutional knowledge held by senior ranking members at a particular agency, and there is street knowledge used by cops on the beat to keep the system working. The variety of my work experience has exposed me to both. But more importantly I have learned the value of humble adoration for the Lord as I pursue his will for my life. As a result, I understand the unique problems and challenges faced by law enforcement officers and their families. It is my fervent prayer that what I share will be faithful to his teaching as outlined in his love letter to us, the Bible, and the experiences he brought me through will address some of your heartfelt concerns and encourage you on your way.

I firmly believe that success comes from living for Jesus. That is a goal shared by all followers of Christ. I should let you know up front that I write from an unapologetic Christian perspective. In my view, the Christian faith is not a crutch for the weak but a humble acknowledgement of truth combined with a courageous determination to live in this truth, even though it means swimming upstream against a strong cultural current. It is not a weak person who carries a Bible around or who acknowledges godly morality in an increasingly amoral, post-modern culture. Do you want to see strength? Look at the cross where Jesus went willingly and purposefully. Those who follow him there can hardly be called weak. That is the course I have chosen. My hope is that you will consider the same path.

In sharing my life with you through this book and devotional, I have no sense of superiority. I’m just a little further down the road and trust my experiences will encourage you as others have done for me. I learned many lessons the hard way. I was the Prodigal Son for several years early in my career. It is sobering to wonder how those who knew me during my early years when I thumbed my nose at God will respond to the words I speak today. All I can say is that God did not give up on me and I know he will not give up on you. I do not display my sin as a trophy worthy of adoration. God alone is worthy of my praise, so that is my focus. I share my frailties reluctantly, but with the hope that you will find, as I did, there is victory in Jesus. My confidence is not in who I am, but in whose I am—a child of God.

In law enforcement we start each shift with Briefing or Roll Call. Following critical incidents we conduct a Debriefing to discern and record lessons learned. While this book is written for police officers and their families in the hope that it might be a Spiritual Briefing or Roll Call during your day or a Spiritual Debriefing following a critical incident in your personal life, anyone who desires to grow in Christ will benefit from it. I hope you enjoy the stories, but more importantly, I pray God the Father gets your attention; God the Son becomes in every sense your Savior and your Lord; and God the Holy Spirit will help you set a course of action for your life that has eternal value.

Chapter One

What Is It?

O n June 10, 1995 Jane Carver went for her morning jog around Mile Square Park in Fountain Valley, California. Jane was a forty-six year-old wife and mother of two sons and she worked as a flight attendant. She was well-liked and well-respected, with no known enemies—certainly none who wanted her dead. Yet, as she approached her quiet, upper-middle-class neighborhood after finishing her morning run, she was gunned down a few hundred feet from her driveway. The killer escaped undetected.

The homicide was a major news story in the quiet bedroom community of Fountain Valley. It was not a gang-related shooting. Neither was it some foul, twisted event that occurred under cover of darkness. Jane Carver did not have a secret life that finally caught up to her. She was a good person who was gunned down in a nice neighborhood on a Saturday morning while people were waking up and brewing their morning coffee. It did not make sense.

The murder went unsolved for months. The case finally broke when a homicide detective from the Orange County Sheriff’s Department, Christine Murray, discovered a nexus between a homicide she was working and Jane’s tragedy. We put the pieces of the puzzle together and discovered the murder of Jane Carver was a case of mistaken identity. The killer, Leonard Mundy, was hired to murder another person who fit Jane’s description and lived a short distance away. The murder for hire involved a business dispute. Once we gathered enough evidence we went after Mundy.

We discovered that Mundy lived in a gang-infested area of South Central Los Angeles. I was a team leader on the Fountain Valley SWAT Team in 1995, and it was a highlight of my career to participate serving the arrest and search warrant for Leonard Mundy. I remember the day clearly. Mundy’s residence was unkempt and there were very few people in his neighborhood who were pro-law enforcement. I was the second person on the entry team through the door. We weaved our way through the people, trash, and debris until we found Mundy toward the rear of the house. I love the look on the face of predators who become the hunted once we catch up to them. Mundy thought he was home free until that fateful morning. He said nothing, but his face had the look of a man who had lost control of his bowels. We arrested Mundy and he stood trial for the murder of Jane Carver. Mundy was convicted and is serving a life sentence.

In police work we see horrible things happen. It always raises the question, Why do bad things happen to good people?

On December 15, 2012 twenty-six people entered eternity after a shooting massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. What caused a twenty-year-old man, Adam Lanza, to commit such devastation? What happened to his conscience? How about Aaron Alexis who murdered twelve and injured three others at the Washington Navy Yard in 2013? Why did James Holmes kill twelve and wound fifty-eight others at a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado in 2012? What snapped in Seung-Hui Cho who killed thirty-two and wounded seventeen others at Virginia Tech University in 2007? What went wrong in the minds of Eric Harris or Dylan Klebold who killed thirteen and wounded twenty-one during their rampage at Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado in 1999?

What about future mass murderers? What is going wrong even now that will lead to the wreckage they will impose in their future? What happened to Leonard Mundy’s conscience? There is no simple answer, but consider something Jesus said in Luke 11:39–40: Now you Pharisees cleanse the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside you are full of greed and wickedness. You fools! Did not he who made the outside make the inside also? Jesus was talking about something in a very straightforward manner that is politically incorrect in our sophisticated, post-modern world.

We sugarcoat it. We rationalize it. We justify it. We participate in it. We mask it. We fail to recognize it. We fail to hate it when it invades our lives, homes, and beings. We have renamed it. We call it a mistake. We call it an accident. We call it a disease. We call it misguided. We call it an error in judgment. In many instances we now legally protect it in ways that were once unlawful, since we are open-minded and psychologically informed. We tolerate it because we are afraid to offend those involved in it. We tolerate it in others because we have our own secret it. It multiplies in homes, communities and a nation when it is protected by progressive societal values that destroy former values that would not tolerate it.

Jesus himself commanded that we love those involved in it rather than hating and running from it. But he also never failed to confront it. Jesus called Peter Satan when he demonstrated it. Jesus made provision to forgive it even while hating it. He demonstrated anger toward it while loving those involved in it.

Unfortunately, even some of those who claim to be followers of Jesus have succumbed to the new cultural values. Many churches have lost their ability to say what it is by taking a peace at all costs attitude and calling it grace. They are afraid to call it for what it is due to the secular doctrine of tolerance that has penetrated church theology. Don’t get me wrong. I am thankful for real grace in my own life because it nearly destroyed me a time or two and it would have had I not been forced to face up to it, call it what it is and deal with it. Grace is great, but grace can only operate when it has been identified, owned, and dealt with according to God’s principles.

For most of us, the cup is clean on the outside so we wonder how it occurred. It happened because the inside is filled with it and left unattended. It inevitably makes its presence known. There are always warning signs that occur when it is present, but too many people who might be in a position to intercede are either too busy or have too much of it in their own lives to confront it when seen in a friend or loved one.

I felt grief for Al Carver and his children after their wife and mother was murdered. I felt incredible sadness and sorrow after the events in Newtown, Connecticut and the mass murders before and after then. But more than that I am angry at it. It led to the events in Fountain Valley, Littleton, Virginia Tech, Aurora, Newtown, and Washington D.C. Yes, hug your loved ones, protect your kids, and pray for peace and restoration, but if you want to do something productive and useful in the aftermath of tragedy, recognize that it is sin. Yes, the S word. It has become so politically, theologically, and spiritually incorrect that even those claiming to follow Jesus don’t use that word to describe it any longer. It’s too polarizing.

Our reluctance and cultural sensitivities do not change reality. It is sin—not only the evil we think and do but also the inability to do the good we know we should do. I ask that you recognize it, hate it, choke it out, call it for what it is, and demand the same from those around you. The Apostle Paul said to abhor it. Do you? If you claim to be a follower of Christ, you have been sent out as sheep in the midst of wolves. Do not underestimate the wolves! You are to be as innocent as a dove yet shrewd as a serpent. That is easier said than done, but we must be lovingly bold.

We must dig heals in against it. If you are not a follower of Christ, the biblical values of his followers will still help restore order among chaos wherever it is and no matter what you call it. As a police commander, if I took a passive approach to a tactical scenario, the situation would control me. I had to take an aggressive posture to neutralize destructive behavior and activity before it spread and others were harmed. I urge us all to take an aggressive posture against it. It needs to be defused whenever and wherever possible.

Irish statesmen, political theorist, philosopher, and supporter of the American Revolution, Edmund Burke said, All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. That’s a sobering thought. A consequence of Burke’s comment is that when good people do nothing, they are no longer good. Do something. Love God’s ways and detest it!

If