The Little Red Book of Golf Wisdom
By Niels Aaboe
()
About this ebook
John Updike
Bill Clinton
Ben Hogan
Annika Sorenstam
Rex Lardner
Tiger Woods
Jack Nicklaus
P.G. Wodehouse
Althea Gibson
And hundreds of others!
The Little Red Book of Golf Wisdom will entertain, instruct, and capture the essence of the game that has an irresistible hold on anyone connected with it—whether as a participant or a spectator. There’s a reason why people all over the world are drawn to a game that can easily break one’s heart. This book tells you why.
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The Little Red Book of Golf Wisdom - Niels Aaboe
Introduction
Golf’s origins are murky. No one knows for sure whether the first golfer teed off on the windswept headlands of Scotland, the frozen rivers and canals of Holland, or the rugged terrain of ancient China.
But the following piece of golfing history is certain: the first Scottish reference to the game appears in a proclamation issued by King James II in 1457. Alarmed by the threat of an English invasion, James outlawed the playing of golf (along with futebaw
) because it was interfering with his subjects’ archery practice. James died three years later, but the ban remained in effect for sixty long years—which suggests that James’s royal successors also saw golf as a needless distraction from more important matters.
More than five hundred years later, it is a sentiment with which many non-golfers would doubtless agree. What’s the point of spending hours hitting a little white ball and then walking miles to find it? What pleasure is derived from having to hack out of underbrush and sand, sometimes in horrid weather, often rising at the crack of dawn in order to do it? And, since golf is an extremely difficult game to play well, why spend an inordinate amount of time (and money) doing something when the rewards are so meager?
These are all good questions. Yet the bewilderment of the nongolfer is more than matched by the passion of people who play the game. Golf is one of the most popular sports in the world, played by 60 million people in 120 countries, according to the International Golf Federation. It’s the reason why officials in sun-scorched places like Arizona and Dubai import countless gallons of precious water—and then use them to build and maintain golf courses. It leads otherwise sensible people to haul heavy golf clubs through airports, onto buses, and along city streets as they try to hail cabs. But why?
This book attempts to answer the question by providing a compilation of interesting, wise, and often hilarious quotes about golf. As I researched the collection, I was struck by how people from very different walks of life have weighed in on the sport A.A. Milne called the best game in the world at which to be bad.
No one will be surprised to see Bob Hope quoted in these pages, or Mark Twain, or Gerald Ford, or Tiger Woods. But I’d wager that a quote from Ulysses S. Grant will raise a few eyebrows. The same is probably true for Bertrand Russell, William Wordsworth, and Gandhi.
Okay, I’m kidding about Gandhi. Golf was never on his radar, as far as I know. But as other writers have pointed out, he said something that would have many golfers nodding in agreement. Gandhi said that he tried to do his work without fear of failure and without hope of success.
If the average weekend player is honest about his or her approach to the game, those words might be embroidered on the old golf bag.
Gandhi’s quote, like many others in this book, gets to the heart of the conflicting emotions this game can produce. One minute you’re beaming with ridiculous pride as your drive screams down the center of the fairway; the next you’re looking for the nearest tree to wrap your 9-iron around, after dropping your approach shot into the drink. From sublime happiness to the darkest rage, all within the space of a few minutes. It only makes sense because, as Arnold Daly said, "Golf is like a love affair. If you don’t take it seriously, it’s not fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart.
Nearly everyone quoted in this book expresses a deep and abiding love for golf—unless they’re complaining about how the game has the power to make them feel helpless and incompetent. It’s this dichotomy that makes the wisdom collected here so endlessly entertaining. I hope you enjoy reading the book as much as I’ve enjoyed pulling it together.
—Niels Aaboe
New York City
PART ONE
How To
Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her, but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game.
—VOLTAIRE
If a ball be stop’d by any person, horse, dog or anything else, the ball so stop’d must be played where it lyes.
—RULE NUMBER X OF THE LEITH CODE, 1744, SCOTLAND
• • •
Golf may be played anywhere—that is, anywhere where there is room, but the quality of golf will depend upon the kind of place it is played on, and the manner which the land is laid out and kept.
—GARDEN SMITH, 1898
• • •
This invention relates to balls such as are used in the game of golf, and has for its object to improve the flight of the ball in the air, and its action on the ground.
—EXCERPT FROM WILLIAM TAYLOR’S PATENT APPLICATION FOR THE DYMPL BALL, 1905
• • •
One would be remiss if, during any discussion of the advancement in balls and clubs, another invention was not mentioned. That would be the grass mower in the 1850s, which allowed golf to be played on grassland and during the growing season for grass.
—JOHN JENCHURA, FROM GOLF—A GOOD WALK AND THEN SOME
• • •
The secret of being able to hit a golf ball a very long way is freedom of action and the application of strength.
—HAROLD HORSFALL HILTON, MODERN GOLF
• • •
The secret of golf is to turn three shots into two.
—BOBBY JONES
• • •
The game, unlike tennis, squash, pinochle, chess, boccie, and practically every other competitive joust, is not