How to Speak Dutch-ified English (Vol. 1): An "Inwaluable" Introduction To An "Enchoyable" Accent Of The "Inklish Lankwitch
By Gary Gates
4/5
()
About this ebook
Gary Gates
Gary Gates is a Dutchman from Lebanon County, Pennsylvania, where all the baloney comes from. People know where he is from when he opens his mouth. Gary is a performer, having appeared hundreds of times at festivals, fairs, colleges, libraries, corporation banquets, comedy clubs, writers groups, resorts, and on radio and TV. His Pennsylvania Dutch humor is riotous fun, sweet enough for family entertainment, yet salty enough to keep adults and children in stitches. He loves performing and celebrating his unique heritage with his fellow Dutchmen, and sharing it with non-Dutchmen, whose response to his show has been overwhelmingly hysterical. Some people have declared him the new Professor Schnitzel, even the Mark Twain of Pennsylvania Dutch country. Even more people simply call him the best windbag they ever heard.
Related to How to Speak Dutch-ified English (Vol. 1)
Related ebooks
Singular Irregularity - Time Travel Gone Terribly Wrong Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRuthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Complete Book of Dutch-ified English: An ?Inwaluable? Introduction to an ?Enchoyable? Accent of the ?Inklish Lankwitch? Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA German Paradise in Texas: The Fate of German Emigrants to Texas in the 1840’s Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWTF Berlin: Expatsplaining the German Capital Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWho Spoke Next Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Comic English Grammar Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Sounds Appealing: The Passionate Story of English Pronunciation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Dirty German: Everyday Slang from "What's Up?" to "F*%# Off!" Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsIn Pastures New Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSerendipity: Impromptu Recollections Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Copenhagen Interpretation Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWill's War Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHome Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Further Adventures of O'Neill in Holland Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAnglo-Saxon Britain Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAmish Proverbs: Words of Wisdom from the Simple Life Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5An Open Prison Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPygmalion & Other Plays Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Royal Diary Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsYou Say Potato: A Book About Accents Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The English is Coming!: How One Language is Sweeping the World Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Teach Yourself Accents: The British Isles: A Handbook for Young Actors and Speakers Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5How Did I Get Here?: A Writer's Education Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings"Pennsylvania Dutch," and other essays Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEnglish as She Is Spoke: The Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and English Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBitte was? An American author's misadventures in the German language Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Complete Patter Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWhatever Happened to Dagmar?: An Immigrant's Autobiography Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEnglish Fairy Tales Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Foreign Language Studies For You
Fluent in 3 Months: How Anyone at Any Age Can Learn to Speak Any Language from Anywhere in the World Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Everything French Grammar Book: All the Rules You Need to Master Français Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Dirty Spanish Workbook: 101 Fun Exercises Filled with Slang, Sex and Swearing Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLearn Spanish: Flash Cards for Beginners Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Spanish Grammar: a QuickStudy Laminated Reference Guide Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Everything Essential Spanish Book: All You Need to Learn Spanish in No Time Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Everything Spanish Phrase Book: A Quick Reference for Any Situation Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Spanish For Dummies Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Love My Mom Amo a mi mama (Bilingual Spanish Kids book): English Spanish Bilingual Collection Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Learn Spanish In A Hurry: Grasp the Basics of Espanol Pronto! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Everything Spanish Grammar Book: All The Rules You Need To Master Espanol Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Everything Spanish Practice Book: Hands-on Techniques to Improve Your Speaking And Writing Skills Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Mastering Spanish Words: Increase Your Vocabulary with Over 3000 Spanish Words in Context Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Yiddishkeit: Jewish Vernacular & the New Land Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5French All-in-One For Dummies Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Learn French In A Hurry: Grasp the Basics of Francais Tout De Suite Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Practice Makes Perfect: Spanish Verb Tenses, Premium Fourth Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Everything Spanish Verb Book: A Handy Reference For Mastering Verb Conjugation Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Love to Help Me encanta ayudar (Spanish Children's Book): English Spanish Bilingual Collection Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Basics of Biblical Greek Grammar: Fourth Edition Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Latin Vocabulary Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5True Alien Seduction: Outing the Flames of Passion Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Perfect Phrases in American Sign Language for Beginners Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Best Little Grammar Workbook Ever! Use Alone or with Its Companion Book, The Best Little Grammar Book Ever! Second Edition Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLearn Hebrew The Fun & Easy Way: The Hebrew Alphabet – a picture book for Hebrew language learners Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Learn Italian in a Hurry: Grasp the Basics of Italian Rapidamente! Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5
Reviews for How to Speak Dutch-ified English (Vol. 1)
3 ratings1 review
- Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How to speak Dutchified English gives the flavor of the spoken Dutchy language of three "cawnties" in Pennsyvania: Baerricks (Berks), Lank-is-ter (Lancaster) and Lep-nin (Lebanon). Interestingly, the pronunciation for the English purists of the area for the latter two counties is Lank-ist-er and Leb-non. The author is from Lebanon County as was my father's family, so the pronunciation varies from what is heard in the eastern part of Berks County. The early German settlers to this region came from the Palatinate where a form of low German was spoken. Here in this country, it developed into Pennsylfanishe Deitsch, a language still spoken by the Plain People of Pennsylvania and in the mid-west. From there we get Dutchified English.The book begins with a phonetic dictionary of some common words. The "w" sound is always pronounced with a "v" as in High German but the "v" is pronounced with a "w" instead of an "f" - wa-nilla instead of vanilla. A hard "g" is a cross between "cr" and "g" while a soft "g" is "tch" - so a crotch is where you park your car. An ending "d" is usually a "t" and when plural "tz" - vootz is a place with trees. There are many more different examples in the book. There are three things to remember. First, word order is important and follows High German. So you have expressions like: Trow the caw ower the fence some hay! The word throw begins with a sound not exactly a "t" and not exactly a "th" but somewhere in between. Secondly, there are word used in unique way, such as "get awt!" for total amazement. Other examples include "I'm going with" (I'm going along), "The bread is all" (I don't have any), and "The paper wants rain" for a prediction. Then thirdly, there are made up words. "Outen the light" (or "Make awt the light" for Turn off the light) and "Spritz the payment" (water the pavement), "I got spritzed!" (the hose turned on me and I'm wet), and "It's spritzing outside" (a light rain).If this isn't enough, the author has a section for reading and singing out loud. Remember that most Dutchy folks spoke in Dutchified English but wrote proper English in letters and read English in the newspapers. You can figure out what's going on by referring to the passage in the original English. Then there are the recipes which the author assures us that "dese receipts really make."In the words of the book's cover: "An "inwaluble" introduction to an "enchoyable" accent of the "Inklish lankwitch."
Book preview
How to Speak Dutch-ified English (Vol. 1) - Gary Gates
Preface
Even presidents have funny accents.
When John F. Kennedy spoke Boston Brahmin, and when Jimmy Carter spoke Southern, they weren’t laughed at. They were men who were true to their regional heritage. Their speech added to the richness of our American tongue.
However, if I would become president, I would be somewhat afraid.
I am a Pennsylvania Dutchman. I speak a variety of English known as Dutchified English, a mode of expression typical of my native region and German-Dutch descendants throughout the United States and Canada. Although there is considerable variation in the subtleties of pronunciation and syntax, there are three main components to Dutch-ified English: 1) English words that are pronounced with a German accent, such as clod
for cloud and crotch
for garage; 2) Words derived directly from the German that are unique to English, such as rutch, meaning to squirm, and spritz, meaning to sprinkle with water; 3) A German syntax that allows for usage of English words in creative ways, such as the food is all
and outen the light.
All my life my fellow Dutchmen* and I have been put down for speaking this way. In high school, teachers who came from other parts of the country would criticize the way we spoke. The pressure to conform to conventional speech patterns continued in college and after college by people who believed they spoke in a superior manner. Too many people have tried to make us feel like dumb, uneducated bumpkins. Too many people have tried to make us feel ashamed. Constant pressure is exerted on us to speak like most people speak—in a flattened-out, colorless, homogenized English.
Linguistically speaking, we are treated like second-class citizens.
Enough of this abuse!
Dutchmen, arise! Be proud of our distinctive speech! Our Dutchified English is a delightful, powerful, humorous version of English. Dutch power!
And to all of you non-Dutchmen, open these pages and enjoy a good laugh with us Dutchmen. Our Dutchified accent is an accent on humor. And we love to share good things. We hope that in reading this book you will not only gain an appreciation of the way we talk, but also learn to enjoy your own version of English, whatever it is.
As you read this book you will not only learn how to speak better, but when an American Dutchman becomes president, you will understand him when he addresses the nation in Dutchified English.
May you laugh along with all of us Dutchmen in our Renaissance.
*Being traditionalists, the speakers of Dutchified English understand man
and its derivatives to be a cheneric
term for humankind.
Dictionary of Terms
In the Dictionary section of this book are sentences using only one, or a few, Dutchified words, so that the featured word is evident, and the contextual meaning clear.
Inevitably, varieties result. This is as it should be since diversity abounds in Dutchified English. The many regional enclaves of German-Dutch settlers throughout the United States and Canada, often heavily populated by the Amish and Mennonites, have their own varieties of Dutchified English. The localities, cities and towns within each region have their own sub-varieties. In Pennsylvania, people in Lancaster speak a form of Dutchified English different than that found in Lebanon or Reading. However, there is a common thread to all of them.
The more people distance themselves from their German-Dutch heritage, the less pronounced is their Dutchified English. But in distancing themselves from their