Damaged Goods: The Damaged Series, #1

I would like to thank the lovely Sarah Fader for writing Everly's songs (Plain Sight, You're Not With Me) and Kevin MacDonald for teaching my tone-deaf self about music. You both helped Everly come to life through her music! Many thanks to Chelsea Barnes, for being a stellar book manager and for basically being my motivator and life coach, Yosbe Design for the phenomenal cover, Elaine Papciak for editing, Nikki Colligan for proofreading, and Just write. Creations for formatting!

I’d also like to thank Kristen Johnson, Christina Harris, and Lauren Jones for yet again providing me feedback during the early versions of this book. My bad ass beta team of wonder women, I couldn’t do it without you!

I'd like to thank my husband, Matt, for yet again supporting me and picking up the slack when I disappeared into my writing cave for hours on end.

Finally, I would really like to thank my readers and the countless amount of support I've found in the writing community. You guys are amazing!

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Getting Grayson Dixon out of my head wasn't exactly easy, not that I was really trying all that hard. In fact, I encouraged the day dreams about him because he was safe.

I was shy and insecure. I often felt in the shadow of my older sister, and even my best friends. While they dated guys throughout eighth, ninth, and tenth grade, I emotionally closed myself off; all for a guy I met in seventh grade that I hadn't said more than two words to.

The day that I first noticed his intense arctic blue eyes upon me was the first day of school, fittingly. Our homeroom teacher, Mr. Burnston, was allowing a day of introductions. He had arranged the desks in a U shape, so we would all be able to see one another perfectly.

Grayson Dixon sat across the room from me. His dark hair was just long enough to sweep across his forehead, and his expression was impossible to read. His gaze made me feel uncomfortable, and yet, somehow alive.

Grayson only attended that middle school for five weeks. Each day I would catch him looking at me; an intense gaze, just like the first day of school. His expression was detached, but his eyes...they were like molten lava. I could feel the heat from across the room.

Toward the end of the fifth week, I found myself boldly staring back, wishing he would just talk to me—or that I would have the courage to talk to him.

Then, one day, he was gone. I didn't ask anybody where he had disappeared to; I didn't need to. Rumors floated around the cafeteria about how he had gotten into trouble with the police for punching the principal in the face.

Soon, Grayson Dixon faded from the gossip of our small middle school, but he never faded from my mind. I would dream of those blue eyes and his gaze, wondering what it all meant. The rumors did nothing to stop my crush; they just made him more intriguing and dangerously unattainable.

Ninth grade was the year everything changed. It was the first year that my parents allowed me to wander the fairgrounds with my friends alone. I felt a sense of euphoria at the freedom. It was liberating to hang out with my friends in such a chaotic, fun setting.

My best friend, Aubrey Day, linked arms with me as we paraded around the fairgrounds. Our other two friends, Lindsay Little and Alicia Garcia, walked beside us. It was 6 p.m. on a Friday night and the fairground was bustling with teenagers. The early September air was warm, with a slight breeze that tingled my skin pleasantly.

We hadn't really gone on many rides. The object of the evening was to just hang out and look pretty, or at least that's what Lindsay insisted we do. Then my group of friends caught sight of the infamous Zipper, and they squealed with excitement.

Come on, let's go! Aubrey tugged on my arm, her auburn hair catching in the wind and dancing around her flawless face. Aubrey lucked out in the skin department. She never had to worry about pimples like me. Her deep sea-coloured eyes were bright and almost magical with excitement. She was tiny and sprightly. People couldn't help but love Aubrey. She had one of those personalities; full of such light. She definitely stood out in a crowd.

No. No way, I said, shaking my head and planting my feet firmly in the soft ground. Lindsay's eyes lowered as she stared at me. I got the impression that Lindsay didn't like me very much and I hadn't known her all that long. We had gone to the same middle school, but our group hadn't merged until a few days ago. I subconsciously lowered my head, away from her unimpressed gaze.

Come on, Everly. Lindsay's tone was almost exasperated, as if she was trying to find the patience to deal with me but couldn't through no fault of her own.

It'll be fun, Alicia chimed, her eyes darting to Lindsay. Lindsay nodded, and a wide smile spread on Alicia's face. Alicia seemed to constantly look to Lindsay for approval.

Alicia was the new girl, having just moved to town at the beginning of summer. Lindsay was her neighbor and the first person she had met. I suppose it made sense for her to gravitate towards Lindsay, although I still didn't understand why. Lindsay was a little harsh with Alicia most times, making little quips about her weight and appearance. She was a little on the chubby side, not that that should matter. To Aubrey and me, it didn't. Alicia was kind, and that was the important part. She was also very pretty, almost exotic looking with her dark hair and dark, almond shaped eyes.

You guys go on without me. I'll wait here, I told them, giving Aubrey a pleading look. As my best friend for over seven years, Aubrey knew all about my fear of heights. She nodded, releasing my arm to grab Lindsay's. The three of them headed off to join the lineup for the Zipper.

I watched them for a few moments, crossing my arms to keep myself warm as a sudden chill overcame me. I had broken the one rule my parents made: don't go off alone and stick with your group of friends.

A jewelry stand to the left of me caught my eye. I felt exposed standing where I was, so I slowly walked over to inspect the jewelry while keeping one eye on Aubrey's auburn hair.

I was thoroughly impressed; the jewelry was all hand-crafted. I was so intrigued by the detail in a wooden bracelet with a carving of a wolf on it, that I wasn't paying attention to anything around me.

See anything you like? an oily voice purred, startling me. I jumped, my head snapping up to look at the carnival worker that was standing uncomfortably close. He was wearing the red shirt that all the other carnival workers sported. His long, yellow hair was pulled into a greasy ponytail. He had a goatee and an odd look to his dark eyes. I didn't like the way he openly stared at me, seeming to examine me with leering approval. An adult had never looked at me like that before, and it made me very uncomfortable. What's a pretty girl like you doing here all alone? he added, making my pulse jump with fear.

Come on, Everly. Let's go, another voice said. Surprised, I turned and found myself looking right at those intense icy blue eyes that I spent the better half of the year daydreaming about. He had gotten a little taller since the last time I saw him, and a little broader, too. He was dressed in his regular ensemble of ripped jeans and a band t-shirt. He now sported a facial piercing: a silver bar through his left eyebrow. He smelled like Swiss Army cologne. I had to physically force myself not to lean forward to draw the scent in through my nostrils.

He nodded, expressing without words that I was to follow him. I cast a final look at the carnival worker, noticing the slimy smile he was still wearing. I suppressed a shiver of disgust and followed Grayson away from the jewelry stand without hesitation.

You really shouldn't be alone, Grayson said with a slight frown as he looked at me again. I flushed, embarrassed at being chastised by my long-time crush. 

How do you know my name? I blurted. As soon as the words left my lips, I felt foolish. We lived in a small town; everybody knew everybody's name.

I was in your seventh grade homeroom for a bit, Grayson answered, looking uncomfortable. You probably don't remember me.

No...I do. Grayson Dixon, right? I asked, trying to feign indifference. I absently twirled a strand of my hair, needing to do something with my hands, and glanced towards the Zipper. I could no longer see Aubrey's bright hair, which meant they were on the sketchy looking ride. My eyes swept back to Grayson, registering the fact that he hadn't stopped looking at me.

Yeah, he said as he tried to suppress a grin. I bit my lip, meeting his gaze with one of my own. Words melted on my tongue before they could even take shape. I was standing so close to the literal guy of my dreams. We were separated by mere inches—inches that were riddled with tension and electricity. My pulse quickened again, this time pleasantly. I had no idea what to say to him.

So...who are you here with? I asked, finally breaking our intense silence.

Some people. Grayson shrugged. He raised his pierced eyebrow in question. What about you?

Aubrey, Lindsay, and Alicia, I replied before remembering that he likely wouldn't know any of those names. They're on the Zipper...I think.

Why didn't you go with them? Grayson asked, tilting his head slightly as if I was a complex creature he was trying to figure out.

I shrugged, feeling my face heat up. At times like this, I wished I had inherited my father's olive complexion, as my older sister had. Instead, I inherited my mother's ivory skin, and each blush showed up as if announced with a loud speaker, which only made me blush more.

I don't like heights, I replied, uneasy.

Grayson nodded, completely understanding and accepting this. Are you afraid of falling? he asked me, his voice heavy with meaning and his eyes curious and amused. I sputtered, trying to think of a response. I was interrupted by a voice shouting his name.

A group of five people were approaching us. I only recognized the one girl, Katrina Underhill. She had a reputation at our school for being weird and scary mean.

Katrina had been the one who had shouted Grayson's name. She was wearing a black mini skirt, black boots and a black lace tank top. Her dyed black hair was up in a crazy hairstyle, and eyeliner was laid on heavily. She was even wearing black lipstick. She had a tendency to dress like a vampire.

Katrina had always made me uncomfortable, and not just because the school was brimming with rumors about her Wiccan religion and sacrifices, but the way she would glare at me whenever I happened to pass her in the halls made me feel tiny and insecure. I wasn't sure what I had done to evoke her hatred, but it was evident from the way she glared that Katrina Underhill did not like me. At all.

My previous assumption that Katrina didn't like me very much was proven true from the way her eyes drilled into me with contempt. I shifted, feeling awkward and out of place.

What are you doing? she demanded, her eyes flicking to Grayson before returning to my face with a taunting sneer.

Hanging out, Grayson answered, shrugging. He was still standing several inches in front of me. He had turned his head slightly to address Katrina, but didn't make a move to join them. 

Well, are you going to come with us or not? Katrina rolled her eyes impatiently, a hand on her curvy hip.

I'll catch up with you later, Grayson told her, looking back at me. I watched as Katrina's glare intensified. One of the girls in her group gently nudged her to get her attention. I watched as they left before I finally looked at Grayson. I tried to ignore the rampant beating of my heart.

You didn't have to do that... I trailed off, feeling awkward.

Do what? Grayson grinned. I went to answer, but someone bumped into me, sending me straight into Grayson. He caught me in his arms and I felt my heart skip. I blushed deeply at my body's intense reaction to his hands on me, scared that he would somehow be able to tell how I felt.

Oops. Sorry, Everly, giggled Aubrey, swaying where she stood. I'm a little dizzy, I think, she added, sending me a quick wink that I hoped Grayson didn't pick up on. 

Lindsay and Alicia were behind her. Lindsay was grasping onto Alicia to steady herself, giggling. Alicia was quiet, biting her lip as she stole glances at Lindsay.

Lindsay stopped giggling when she caught sight of Grayson. She released her grasp on Alicia's arm while she studied him with open approval and interest. I felt as if a rock was settling in the pit of my stomach; I couldn't hold a candle next to her.

Lindsay was stunning. She had soft, golden blond hair and calculating brown eyes. She knew how to dress, how to apply her makeup, and how to flirt. She had curves and she was accustomed to getting attention from the opposite sex.

Normally, I could ignore it, but it was hard to ignore when she was flirtatiously smiling at Grayson right in front of me. He was the only guy that I had ever wanted. He was the unobtainable dream...so vastly out of my league, but I still didn't want her to go for him, especially not in front of me.

Who's your friend, Everly? Lindsay asked, giving her dreaded come hither eyes. Aubrey and I exchanged a brief look. Only Aubrey knew of my massive crush on Grayson. I hadn't bothered telling Lindsay or Alicia. I hadn't known either of them long enough to bring them into my trust circle.

This is Grayson...Grayson, these are my friends, Aubrey, Alicia, and Lindsay, I said, biting my lip slightly when I realized that Grayson was still gently holding my arm to steady me. He released it, slipping his hands into his pockets.

Hi, he said, barely sparing Lindsay a second look. His eyes returned to my face, and I felt a fluttering of hope.

"Oh man, I'm starving, Aubrey announced. Let's go get some food," she added, giving Lindsay and Alicia a look. I knew she was trying to get them to go with her in order to give Grayson and I more time together.

Why don't you come with us, Grayson? Lindsay asked, saying his name in a way that grated upon my nerves. Alicia's face fell at the suggestion, mirroring my own.

Yeah, okay, Grayson answered, never taking his eyes off of me. I could eat. I felt myself blushing for reasons I didn't quite comprehend. It sounded so sensual, especially with how he was looking at me. My stomach was doing all sorts of fluttering somersaults.

Okay, it's settled then, Aubrey said lightly, smiling her bright, infectious grin. The five of us started walking to the chip truck. Along the way, we had to pass through the carnival games.

I bet you can shoot, Lindsay purred, speaking to Grayson. She had fallen into step beside him while I walked quietly on his other side. Aubrey and Alicia walked just ahead of us and Aubrey was whispering something to Alicia. You should show us your skills, Lindsay added, gently touching his bicep.

Grayson glanced at me again, then looked at the games. He sighed, shaking his head as he smiled. Alright, fine.

He approached a water target game, handing a five dollar bill to the guy behind the booth. He took position, and waited for the signal to go.

I felt like burying my head in the sand in embarrassment as Lindsay loudly cheered him on, bouncing up and down right near his left arm. He ignored her, focusing on the game.

What an idiot, Aubrey whispered to me. Normally, I would have giggled, but seeing Lindsay flirt with Grayson just made me feel terrible. I gave her a small smile and shrugged.

Grayson won and chose a purple teddy bear. Lindsay grinned at him, expecting him to offer her the prize. He walked passed her and held it out to me. You can have it, he said, meeting my gaze for the briefest of moments before he looked away; half of a smile dancing across his lips. 

Oh, thanks, I replied, taking the bear from his hand with a timid smile. I drew in a breath quickly when his fingers grazed mine, the sensation akin to a small electric shock. I tucked my hair behind my ear, lowering my gaze from his intense eyes.

I didn't know what it meant, but judging by the sour pucker of Lindsay's lips and the way she was glaring at me, the fact that Grayson had given me the bear was a big deal.

The rest of the evening passed by in a similar manner: Lindsay would try to engage Grayson, and he would barely reply. He focused most of his attention on me, and eventually, Lindsay gave up and sullenly walked off with Aubrey and Alicia. Grayson and I were finally alone...well, as alone as two people could get while at the crowded county fair.

We wandered the fairgrounds for a bit, making our way inside the arena to walk around all the different displays. We came to the small stage set up with a sign that read Talent Show, Friday at 7:00 p.m.

The yearly talent show that the fair put on was nothing to write home about. Usually only friends and family came to watch people who participated, but still, it was a silly little dream of mine to sing on stage. Aubrey had been trying to get me to sign up for years, but I'd always been too scared. I bit my lip, frowning slightly as I read the words on the sign. Grayson was curiously watching me.  Were you in this or something?

No. I laughed, shaking my head. Aubrey's been trying to get me to sign up, but...

But what? Grayson tilted his head, his eyes still upon my face. He was the only person to ever look at me so intently; it was a gaze that made me want to both expose all of my secrets and melt in his presence.

Stage fright. I shrugged, starting to walk away. It was almost 10 p.m., and I had to meet my parents in the parking lot.

What's your talent? Grayson asked, following me.

Singing. I blushed, feeling awkward. Or so I'm told.

Grayson looked back towards the stage.So, do it then.

It's not that simple, I argued, feeling my face heat up with embarrassment. I lacked the confidence to perform on stage. Any time I entertained the thought, I instantly pictured myself taking a nice face plant in front of everyone. Or worse, vomiting.

I think you should do it, he said. I'd love to hear you sing. His eyes met mine again, and my heart jumped at his sudden nearness and the sincerity in his voice. 

A few moments later, we sat on the steps to the side door of the arena, waiting for my parents to pick me up.

I had a lot of fun...thanks, I said, smiling at him.

Me, too. He smiled back, leaning against the railing.

So...do you have MSN? I asked as I started to nervously twirl my hair around my index finger again.

Yeah, it's pretty easy to remember... Grayson trailed off. It's 'GraysonDixon' at hotmail dot com.

Witty. I laughed. It's better than mine.

What's yours?

It was my turn to blush. PorcelainDreams, I answered, laughing awkwardly at myself. Lame, I know.

I like it. Grayson's lip curled upward in an intriguing smile, his eyes slowly dropping from my eyes to my lips and up again.

The air between us felt heavy, and my heart thudded loudly in my chest. Grayson leaned forward a bit, as if in a daze.

Just then, my parents pulled up in my mom's white Hyundai Sonata.

Okay, well...I'll talk to you on MSN, I guess, I said, standing up. I felt Grayson's eyes on me as I climbed into the back seat of my parents’ car with a massive smile on my lips.

Who was that, honey? Mom asked, turning around to study me.

Just...a boy. I shrugged, schooling my features.

Hmmpf, Dad said, frowning deeper.

* * *

That night was the beginning of my intense friendship with Grayson Dixon. I added him to MSN as soon as I got home, not wanting to have his Hotmail account fade from my memory.

It was a few days before Grayson added me back, and a few more days passed before I got up the nerve to finally message him. After that, we chatted nearly every single night after school about anything and everything. I learned more about him, like how his parents had divorced at the end of seventh grade. He had moved into a small apartment with his mother while his dad moved in with his new girlfriend, who was pregnant.

I knew that Grayson liked to drink and smoke a lot of pot. I had always been straight-laced, terrified to do something that might get me into trouble. I normally wouldn't have associated myself with that kind of reckless behaviour, but there was something about him that inexplicably drew me in. I knew all of Grayson's faults, he showed me every ugly colour he could think of showing me, and still, instead of running I fell harder.

I didn't know all the details of Grayson's life, but I got the sense that he was deeply hurt over the actions of his parents. He warned me several times that he couldn't feel the way a normal person could, that his emotional capability was screwed up and that he didn't know how to connect with anyone.  I didn't believe him. I felt like we had a connection, and that connection grew every single time I saw him.

It was the first day of school, but it wasn't like any other first day of school. It was the first day of my last year of high school. Next September, I would be going off to college, along with all my friends. It was my last chance to do all the things I wanted to do, but was always too scared of.

I was wearing a pair of dark denim skinny jeans and a cute olive green V-neck top that I had gotten from my favourite department store. I loved the shirt. It gave the illusion of bigger breasts—an illusion that I desperately needed, as I was perpetually stuck in an A-cup. My long, caramel hair hung freely down my back, and I carefully applied my makeup to achieve a natural look that made my pale green eyes pop ever so slightly.

These minor, rather minuscule changes were actually a big deal for me. My go-to look was a simple jean and t-shirt ensemble with my hair tossed up into an unintentionally messy pony tail. I didn't take time to do my hair or makeup. In fact, I hadn't even known how to do makeup until this summer.

I had more or less given myself a makeover for the beginning of twelfth grade, both physically and emotionally. I would no longer be a wallflower. It was my year to shine.

This change was