The concept of self confidence

Meaning 
Defining the Difference: Self-Efficacy, Self-Confidence,
and Self-Esteem 
 

Self-Efficacy is defined as an individual’s beliefs about their capacity to influence

the events in their own lives. It is rooted in beliefs about an individual’s
capabilities to handle future situations. 

Self-Confidence is defined as an individual’s trust in his or her own abilities,

capacities, and judgments, or belief that he or she can successfully face day to day
challenges and demands. 

Self-confidence also brings about more happiness. Typically, when you are
confident in your abilities you are happier due to your successes. When you are
feeling better about your capabilities, the more energized and motivated you are to
take action and achieve your goals. 

Self-Esteem is made up of two distinct components: self-efficacy, or the confidence

we have in our ability to cope with life’s challenges, and self-respect, or the belief that
we are deserving of happiness, love, and success. 

What about those who have too much self-esteem? Narcissism is the result of having
too much self-esteem. A psychological definition would be an extreme amount of
selfishness, with a impressive view of one’s own talents and a craving for admiration. 

Self-esteem at high and low levels can be damaging so it is important to strike a

balance in the middle. A realistic but positive view of the self is often ideal. 

 
The Importance of Self-Confidence 
Being confident about your strengths helps you draw courage and resolution when
the going gets tough in life. It helps you to keep things in perspective and back
yourself when everyone else says that the task ahead is nearly impossible to
complete in the stipulated time. 

A confident person has enough ability to understand his limitations and knows how
to make up for that with his resolve and strengths. 

Why build Self-Confidence 

People need some positive image about themselves so that they can identify their
strengths and weaknesses. People with low confidence often lapse into a mental
state where everything becomes a weakness and every observation appears
personal. This leads to further self-degradation. 

It is often observed that small children, especially those who have working parents,
tend to channel their loneliness in the form of an imaginary friend. They talk to this
“friend”, ask opinions of him and generally are comfortable with the idea of an
invisible but constantly present friend. 

Most of them grow out of this phase in life when they start going to school and
start making actual friends, but the voice always stays with them. Many people
tend to give themselves either positive self-talk in the time of seeking motivation,
or negative self-talk in the time of handling failure and subsequent criticism. 

Just like any unreasonable person who is hell-bent on proving you wrong, the
solution to tackling and eventually silencing the “inner critic” is also in having a
calm, logical, and resolution-oriented talk with it. Try to enter a calm discussion
with it as that will help you identify areas where your approach is not what others
expect out of you. It will help you realize where you are going directionless so that
things can be brought back to track. 

There is nothing wrong in having a few imperfections. Given a wish to change a

few things about us, many would wish they could change or modify something or
the other about themselves. However, that doesn’t mean that we will continue
hounding ourselves with an extremely critical view of things. For the same
reasons, we must be compassionate in assessing others on their work and
performance. 

Compassion is a winning quality, in the sense that people with inspirational

personalities often are compassionate towards fellow co-workers and other people
in general. It’s a quality that prevents us from being too critical and demanding of
others and ourselves and allows scope to understand issues on a practical basis. 

Compassionate people use specific and pleasant language while interacting with
people around them. They feel comfortable with explaining their ideas and taking
suggestions from others, irrespective of the professional hierarchy they share with
their colleagues. They forgive mistakes and learn from them, have an acute
awareness of their strengths and know how to use them to their advantage. 

It has been found that when someone empathizes with the people he is talking to,
the other person tends to feel more comfortable in sharing personal issues that are
influencing his professional life and performance. Compassion makes it possible
for people to step into other person’s shoes and understand the situation from that
perspective, which is the hallmark of brilliant communicators. 

In a world that is as competitive as the one that we live in now, there is every
chance that the work you put up for inspection or approval will be met with
criticism. It could come from peers, seniors, and colleagues who have worked with
you in the past or have known you for a long time. 

While some critics could be justified in their observations and following them
could really bring in a lot of improvement in your product, there will be a few who
would pass judgment purely based on emotional reasons like personal hatred,
jealousy, one-upmanship, etc. 

Remember that you cannot satisfy everybody. It is just not possible. There will
always be scope for improvement, but you need to think practically as to what is
the set of parameters that you need to keep the quality of the output under. 

Many qualities go behind developing a resilient personality. The first one would be
the ability to learn from failures and bounce back as quickly as possible. However,
a lonely person cannot fight his way back to an operative state that early. It takes a
lot of self-belief and grit to bounce back from a failure and regain ground. 

He would need a strong network of friends and associates who are supporting in
nature and positive-minded in their approach. A resilient person also has a quality
to be able to design a realistic plan and manage to implement it. Unrealistic targets
and impossible demands are something that a person with resilience would avoid at
all costs, simply because of the lesson he would have learnt from his previous
failures. 

Life is a hard teacher. It lets us fail a test first and then delivers the moral of the
lesson. While many might find it unjust, that is the way things are. Now it is up to
you to either keep complaining day in and day out about bad luck, missed
opportunities, and the way things are going wrong in life. Or, you could decide that
enough is enough and it is high time you got success in life. 

We are surrounded by people who have faced at least one big failure in their life.
Whereas almost all succumb under the weight of that one big guilt, there are a few
who used their failures as a springboard to climb to greater heights. 

It is often found that passion can be fleeting in nature. You may start on a venture
with great fervor and gusto, but it might so happen that after a few days, you will
experience the wind getting knocked out of the proverbial sail. 

It is very important to keep motivating yourself about your dream and where it is
that you want to reach in the end. It is only then you will be able to motivate
people around you to re-engage with full determination and added energy, even
after they have faced defeat in the first round. 

Humility is an endearing quality to a lot of people. There’s a saying that greatness

awes you, familiarity connects you. Humility makes people love and respect you as
they equate your success with your being humble. Nobody likes a person who’s
arrogant and excessively proud of his achievements. 

Having said that, even humble people fail at times. The difference is in the way of
accepting a failure. Where aggressive people will try to turn around and blame
anyone in their line of sight for a failure, a humble person would first look inwards
and identify areas of improvement in him, before passing judgment on anybody. 

The way you behave with people is the way they remember you as. Self-centered
arrogant people don’t carry an influential aura around them. They were successful
despite their superior attitude, and not because of it. People would do well to
understand the difference. Anyway, the times of these kinds of bossy people have
long come and gone, for good. 
 
Tips to boost Self-Confidence 
Use Positive affirmation 

To feel more self-confident, you can use positive affirmation – positive statements
that are meant to reprogram your mind to seeing yourself in a better light. 
These include statements such as: “I am worthy”, “I’m a great leader”,
“Everybody likes me”, and so on. 
 

Dress smart 

If you ever lack confidence, the easiest way to boost it by dressing like an
authority. If you’re perceived like somebody important, you will start feeling like
one! 
Smart outfit is an international symbol of status, so no matter in which country you
are, you can always wear it. 
 

Speak loud and clear 

The way you talk and the way you project your voice is directly linked to your
confidence. Shy people tend to keep their voice low. They don’t want to draw
attention, which they would if they spoke up. 
Next time you’re in a meeting speak up, project your voice, be loud. You’ll see
what kind of an impact it has on your confidence. 
 

Body language 

Confident people have a different body language. They walk tall. They keep their
head up. They look into the eyes of others. They also keep their body open. 
Whenever we feel bad about ourselves, we feel down or hurt, we tend to close
down. And not just emotionally but physically too. We try to become as small as
positive, so people don’t notice us. We curl up, so we limit the surface of
exposure. 
Lack of self-confidence manifests itself in such a body language. A way to build
confidence is to adopt a body language of somebody who does feel confident. 
 

Take care of yourself 

Often our lack of self-confidence comes from the fact that we don’t feel good in
our skin. We have a few extra kilos which makes us want to hide. We don’t care
much about how we dress. Our haircut is out of fashion. Our skin not taken care of.
No make-up. And so on… 

Once you feel good in your skin, you’ll start projecting it. 
 

Leverage your strengths 

If you keep focusing on your shortcomings, sooner or later you will lose much of
your confidence After all, if there are so many things you’re bad at, and so many
mistakes you’ve made, then where is that confidence going to come from? 
Rather than thinking of what you’re bad at and working on that, embrace your
strengths. You might be awesome at public speaking, or a great cook, or a very
talented businessman. Look at all areas of your life. This will help you believe in
how good you are and increase your value. 
 

Accept compliments 

If you did a good job, take ownership of it. Embrace it! Allow yourself to believe
in all the good things people tell you. It’s the easiest, and all for free, way to boost
your confidence. 
 

Avoid perfectionism 

If you aim for perfection, than you’re aiming for disappointment. It’s very difficult
(if not impossible) to be perfect. You can always be better, you can always be
faster, you can always do more. 
Stop trying to do everything and do it flawlessly. Accept that things don’t have to
be perfect to be good. And you don’t have to be perfect, either. 
Perfectionists usually have lower self-esteem, because they criticize themselves all
the time. 
 

Appreciate what you’ve already achieved 

Our confidence is dependent on how much we believe we are successful. If you

don’t notice successes in your life, your self-confidence is likely to be low.