Practical IELTS Strategies 4 2nd Edition » Task Two Andrew Guilfoyle2nd | Edition r 7 7 iti Academic Module | - Task Two Andrew GuilfoylePractical IELTS Strategies 4 IELTS Writing Task Two [Academic Module] 2nd Edition Copyright © 2013, 2017 by Andrew Guilloyle & Bookman Books. Ltd. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form or by any means, cleetronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording or any information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher. ISBN 978-957-445-714-4 Published by Bookman Books, Ltd. 2017 3, 60 Roosevelt Ra. Sec. 4, Taipei 100, Taiwan English Editor: Lynn Sauvé ‘Administrative Editor: Emma Lin Printed in Taiwan 10987654321Table of Contents BRAS About this Book About the IELTS Writing Test About IELTS Writing Task Two The IELTS Band Descriptors Fundamental Tips. Tip 1 Tip 2 Tip 3 Tip 4 Tip 5 Tip 6 Tip7 Tip 8 Tip 9 Tip 10 How Much to Write Exercise 1 Which Task to Do First Read the Question/ Fulfil the Task (1) Exercise2, 3 Identify Essay Type Exercise 4 The ‘Exam Attack’ Approach Exercise 5, 6 Planning and Organising Exercise 7, 8,9, 10 Write in Formal Style Exercise 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 Essay Coherence: Keep on Course Exercise 17, 18, 19, 20, 21 Essay Coherence: Balance Exercise 22, 23, 24, 25 Cut the Fluff Exercise 26 51 64Witkin Tip 11 The Essay Introduction 70 Exercise 27, 28, 29 Tip 12 The Essay Body 84 Exercise 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36 Tip 13 The Essay Conclusion 93 Exercise 37, 38, 39 Further Tips Tip 14 When to Be Certain loa Exercise 40, 41, 42 Tip 15 Organise Your Paragraphs 10 Exercise 43, 44, 45, 46 Tip 16 Include Specific Support ne Exercise 47 Tip 17 Read the Question/ Fulfil the Task (Il) 123 Exercise 48, 49 Tip 18 When Not to Write Something 128 Tip 19 ‘Danger’ Phrases 131 Exercise 50 Bringing It All Togi ‘Summary of Tips 136 Tip 20 The Writing Task Two Procedure 138 ‘Summarising Exercise 141 IELTS Writing Task Two Practice I-IV 152 Conclusion 154 Appendices 155 Answers to Word Learning Time 29Practical IELTS Strategies 4 2nd Edition Academic Module Task Two Andrew GuilfoyleCoy About This Book So, you have Book Four of the Practical IELTS Strategies series. Let us first be sure we know the meaning of those two key words. connected with real situations; right Practical or sensible: likely to be successful a plan that is intended to achieve a particular purpose; the process of putting a plan into effect in a skilful way Strategy This book—Book Four—is for Task Two of the Academie Module of the IELTS Writing Test. This is not a grammar book; not a test practice book; not a vocabulary book, although all of those clements are here. Overall, this book is practical and strategic, exactly as those definitions tell us. The real situation is the IELTS test, and the particular purpose or plan is to give you the highest score that you ean achieve My other ‘Practical IELTS Strategies’ books are: Book 1: Reading Book 2: Speaking Book 3: Writing Task One [Academic Module] Book 5: IELTS Test Practice Book Now, it is very important at this stage for you to trust me, and for this to happen you need to know ovo fact an IELTS preparation book, they must be fully qualified to do so. Please look at the back cover of this book, and read my credentials carefully. The second fact concerns why | wrote these books. s. The first concerns my credentials. In order for you to trust someone who writes, Let me begin this by saying that students of English often come to me and ask, ‘How do | pass the IELTS test?’ This is the wrong question—you do not pass or fail the test; you just receive band scores. However, I know what the students mean. They mean how do they achieve the band score they need—usually 6.5 or 7.0 overall. So what do I say to these students? I usually say that there are no magic answers to obtaining higher band scores in the IELTS test. It is a test of English language abilit obtain higher scores by having higher ability, The best way to raise your ability is simply to practise your listening, reading, writing, and speaking. However, no matter how good your English may be, it is certainly possible for you to be unprepared, unpractised, and to try to do parts of the IELTS test in the wrong way, and thus to recei what your English ability deserves, This is why it is also important to prepare and practise. I say this, too, to my students, However, | know that they want a more definite a 50, of course, you ea result lower (or far lower) than wer.This is why there is so much “IELTS Preparation” material available, and my students often have, read, and use some of it, but does this material always provide the best advice and approaches? The answer is no. Students should know that there are no magic answers, and that practice and preparation are important to achieving a high IELTS band score, but they clearly want and need some practical and strategic approaches showing how, and they are too often relying on unsatisfactory material to find this So that is why I wrote these IELTS books. In short, these books are the answer to that question about how to “pass” the IELTS test. The answer is to follow the tips in these books. In this one, there are twenty tips and over forty exercises. Each tip builds on the previous. Each tip is solid, proven, and supported. There are answers to all exercises. All the knowledge is summarised and demonstrated at the end to make a clear and achievable framework. This book iv how you “pass” the test, So, let us then begin on this road Some Words To help you in understanding this book, let us first look at some of the more uncommon words that will be used. ‘A. Do you know the meaning of the following? If not, look them up in a dictionary. to be absolute to be cohesive guts to reduce an acronym a consequence to identity to refute an addition to convince to be lexical to be relevant alcohol to be cosmetic alink to remind to be appropriate to counter to be logical a signpost to avoid to distill to be mature to be specific to be awkward to be dull to memorise a structure to ban evidence obesity style a category a fact to oppose to be urban a chain to be flexible to organise to vary aclimate futt to persuade violence to be coherent to fulfil aquiz to warnatest B. Fill the spaces with one of the previous words. Use the right tense and grammar. The answers are given in Appendix 1 1. He's a dangerous person. You should him. Don't give me lies, speculation, or gossip. Just give me the He was hit by the cricket ball right in his He drank far too much last night, so he's feeling bad today. It’s an interesting idea, but not at all to the problem. 2 8, 4 5 6. The weather in Melbourne ____alllthe time. 7 ___ areas often have more crime and pollution, 8.Shehada___ operation on her nose. 9. My mother me about women like you 10. The __ on my bicycle broke. 11. | found it difficult to him in the crowd 12. | realised he had hurt his leg from the way he was walking 13. He's boring — a totally ____ person. 14, I'm sure of it; 'm ___ sure of it 15. | can see big problems with the of your argument. 16. I didn't understand what he was saying. He was not atall, 17. lried the . but only got 11 out of 20, 18. I'd just like to__ you that | am your boss. 19. | want you to sort these applications into three 20. I'm afraid that your behaviour is simply not 21. He's very for a young boy. 22. Look at this old table. I's got lots of dust and alll over it. 23. Parts of your essay don't fit together well; it isn’t atall 24. He my argument by saying my research was wrong. 25. The way you work is unplanned and messy, and shows noWriting Task Two C. Complete the following table. vi Noun ban alcohol obesity organisation signpost Adjective awkward simple mature flexible Noun persuasion violence structure flutt addition Adjective relevant lexical logical stylishAbout the IELTS Writing Test Before looking at any tips, let us first make sure we know everything we can about the IELTS Writing test itself. This will also make the tips in this book clearer. We can perhaps best look at the test by doing the following quiz IELTS Writing Quiz: True or False 41. The Writing Test is one hour. TIF 2. There are four parts to the test. TIF 3. There is a separate answer sheet TIF 4. You must make sure your answers are reasonably long TIF 5. You can write anything you want. TIF 6. Grammaraccuracy is most important. TIF 7. Writing in simple sentences is better. TIF 8. Writing Task Two (W2) is more important than Task One (W1), TIE 9. Longer answers are always better than shorter ones. TIF 10. It does not matter which writing (W1 or W2) you do first. TIF 11, Memorising long pieces of writing is a good idea TIF 12, Neat handwriting receives better scores. TIF We can now discuss the answers. Question 1 is true. The Writing Test is indeed one hour, but there are different tasks. Question 2 is false. There are two writing tasks, which are known as Task One, and Task Two. Since the test is one hour, it is recommended that you spend 20 minutes on Task One, and 40 minutes on Task Two. As for Question 3, it is true, There are two separate A4 Writing Answer \d one for Task Two. sheets, one for Task One, Question 4 is true, while Quest very dit n 5 is false, of course. Task One and Two are very specific and erent. We can summarise them as follows,vit Ciirhcacs | is asummary/description of a graph lline, bar, pie), task | table of figures, or diagram/map One | - requires at least 150 words, = is recommended to take 20 minutes. | ~ isan academic essay. Task = requires at least 250 words. Two ~ is recommended to take 40 minutes. Question 6 is false, Grammar and accuracy are certainly important, but there is much more to a good piece of writing. The writing is actually judged on four categories, as shown. 1. Task Response (Does the answer respond to the question relevantly and well?) 2. Coherence & Cohesion (Does the answer make sense as a whole, and do all the sentences and paragraphs fit together well?) 3. Lexical Resource (Does the answer have mature and appropriate words?) 4. Grammatical Range & Accuracy (Does the answer have a good range of grammar, and use it accurately?) Question 7 is false. Simple sentences may well be easier and therefore are likely to be more accurate, but to achieve higher band scores, the grammar must also be mature and show variety, As for Question 8, itis true. Task Two is longer, and takes more time than Task One, so it must be more important in determining your score; however, this does not mean you should not treat Task One seriously ~ it is important also. Question 9 is false. The word ‘always” should tell us that the statement is unlikely to be correct. Length by itself, of course, does not show how good an answer is. A longer answer may well be quite bad; however Question 10 is true. It does not matter which writing (WI or W2) you do first, unless it can help you manage the test, or the timing, better [See Tip 2} Ques most definitely a bad idea. Tip 10 will look at this in more detail. ion 11 is based on opinion, and my opinion is that memorising long pieces of writing is As for Question 12, it is false. Examiners do not judge handwriting. However, the handwriting must be clear enough so that the examiner can read it. Furthermore, being human, they can be affected in their scoring, even if they do not realise this. Clear handwriting has a good effect onthe eyes, and on the mind, so aim towards writing clearer, Work on your handwriting skills.Writing Task Two About IELTS Writing Task Two Writing is a ‘productive’ skill. It is different to listening and reading, where we receive the message, In writing, we are producing it, The first point to realise is that this gives us control over the message. The second point to realise is a written text, by its nature, must give context, and, particularly in the IELTS test, a written text is formal in organisation, grammar, and words. The third point is that the IELTS writing is nite type of writing, and we can predict its nature and requirements, adel and ‘The combination of these three factors (control of the message, writing its predictable type the disadvantages come from Point Two ~ writing is indeed complex, for both students and even native users of language, and, in the IELTS test, involves handwriting, natural complesit IELTS) mean that we can create many tips to help ourselves, However, The band score is decided by the IELTS examiner. This person uses a set of descriptions for each score. These are not available to the public. There is, however, a public version of th ‘descriptors’ available at www.ielts.org. By referring to these, we can know that the wri © ing k Response’ because in Task Two you are responding with reason and opinions on an issue. You score is scored under four categories, as we saw in the IELTS Quiz. One of these is called “Ta are writing an essay. ‘These public version IELTS descriptors also allow us to work out ourselves that the Task Two categories can all be divided into two or three sub-categories, as follows. Category Sub-category 4. Answers the question fully and relevantly Task Response 2. Gives a position or opinion 3. Gives and develops ideas |. Organises the writing, showing progression Coherence & Cohesion 2. Makes the sentences and parts fit together Organises paragraphs well 1. Uses a range of words 2. Uses those words accurately Lexical Resource Grammatical Range 1, Uses a range of grammar & Accuracy 2. Uses that grammar accurately Take a careful look at these, as I will refer to them many times throughout this book, The IELTS band score for these categories go higher as your writing becomes more relevant, clearer,iciticid tos cill extended, supported, appropriate, mature, and shows fewer signs of repetition or errors. One important point to understand is that you need to achieve all sub-categories to achieve the matching IELTS band score, For example, to achieve an IELTS Six for ‘Coherence & Cohesion’, the writing must 1. show organisation and progression, and 2. have the sentences and parts fit together, and 3. use paragraphs well, aif according to the IELTS Six description, All categories are connected, and we must look at them all Now, let us begin traveling on the journey through the tips to help you in Writing Task Two.J Writing Task Two ] The IELTS Band Descriptors Band Nine — Expert User Has fully operational command of the language: appropriate, accurate, and fluent, with complete understanding. Band Eight - Very Good User Has fully operational command of the language with only occasional unsystematic inaccuracies and inappropriacies. Misunderstandings may occur in unfamiliar situations. Handles complex detailed argumentation well Band Seven - Good User Has operational command of the language, though with occasional inaccuracies, inappropriacies, and misunderstandings in some situations. Generally handles complex language well, and understands detailed reasoning. Band Six —- Competent User Has generally effective command of the language despite some inaccuracies, inappropriacies and misunderstandings. Can use and understand fairly complex language, particularly in familiar situations. Band Five — Modest User Has partial command of the language, coping with overall meaning in most situations, though is likely to make many mistakes. Should be able to handle basic ‘communication in own field Band Four — Limited User Basic competence is limited to familiar situations. Has frequent problems in understanding and expression. Is not able to use complex language. Band Three — Extremely Limited User Conveys and understands only general meaning in very familiar situations. Frequent breakdowns in communication occur. Band Two — Intermittent User No real communication is possible except for the most basic information using isolated words or short formulae in familiar situations, and to meet immediate needs. Has great difficulty understanding spoken and written English Band One — Non User Essentially has no ability to use the language beyond possibly a few isolated words. ‘Cambridge English Language Assessment UCLES 2013.Fundamental Tips: 1-10aye How Much to Write ‘The Task-Two Answer Sheet is designed as shown.* | [Space for Personal Details] Task? | | | | | | [Space for Admin, Details] | Exercise 1 + What is the minimum number of words for Task Two? + How many words per line do you write? + Thus, at least how many lines should you write for Task Two? Now think about the following. 1. Agood piece of writing must be paragraphed. 2. An IELTS writing task will have several paragraphs, perhaps about five for Task Two, The modern way of paragraphing is to leave a line between paragraphs (since it looks clearer). 3. A good answer will be a little longer than the minimum word length. "Note: ths tip is based onthe cunt design for th IELTS Writing pager is design not ued atthe test cate, of the dsign anges, then you sould flow he general princi of hs ti sraage use of ime), rather than the exact recommendation (ogarting the points on he page to wit io.ici att Thus... + add seven lines to the number of lines for Task Two, to allow for the paragraph breaks and extra length + Now, count this total number of lines on the writing answer sheet in the previous diagram. + Now, mark the point on the second page at which you end. Task Two requires a minimum of 250 words. Most people write about 10 words per line, If you write more than this, perhaps you should of. The writing paper itself may lead you to not leave wide margins on the left and right side of the paper. However, having wide margins makes the writing look more readable, and this is important (thus, the previous Point 2) So, with 10 words per line (and wider margins), there would be 25 lines. Adding seven lines for paragraph breaks and extra length gives about 32 lines for Task Two. Counting these through the writing answer sheet gives the result, as shown, [Space for Personal Details] Task? 3 \ using / wider margins [Space for Admin. Details] Well over the Task-Two length requirement Easily enough, for Task Two, passing the middle of the second page shows that you should be above the word limit. In the IELTS test, you do not need to count words (since this wastes times), but you should write your Task-Two answer to at least pass the middle of the second page. We can combine the equivalent tip for Writing Task One [from Book 3, Tip 1] to create the following recommended procedure for the whole IELTS Writing test.(in kee Start Test 1 Begin your first task [Task One or Task Two}, > einsh | T28* One past the top part ofthe second page (by 20 minutes) [See Book 3] inis + Task Two past the middle part of the second page (by 40 minutes) a Go to the other task; begin writing. 4 Finish this task at the recommended point. u 5 Divide the time left into two halves. . Check/correct/ads to/improve the task you have just finished (with one haif of the time left). az Check/correct/add tolimprove the other task (with the remaining time). End Test Note If you still have some time, you need to make a judgement about whether your answer will be improved, or not, by extra writing, since this may take away the chance to sufficiently complete the other writing task, For Task Two, if your extra writing will consist only of fluff [See Tip 10], or a memorised and repetitive “formal” conclusion [See Tip 13], or both, then your answer is nor improved at all, and you should finish the sentence, and move 10 the other task. [See also Point 4 at the end of Tip 17.] However, if your extra writing will consist of more ideas and support, or a well-written conclusion, then the answer is improved. Nevertheless, as the previous procedure shows, if you have reached the Task-One 20 minute, or Task-Two 40 minute, time limit, and have written to the recommended points, you should not try any long writing additions until the other task is dealt with.Which Task to Do First ‘There are three ways to think about this. I will call them Arguments 1, 2, and 3. Argument 1: Do Task One First This argument says that Task One is shorter, requires less words, and so you will finish it quicker. This gives you a good feeling, which will help you in the second task, Task Two. You should do Task One first because it was made Task One for this reason. One comes before Two: the “easier” task comes before the “difficult” one. This argument ~ Argument | ~ sounds simple enough, but too simple, since it is affected by: 1. the next argument, Argument 2, 2. the fact that Task One is not always easy or straightforward for all students. Argument 2: Do Task Two First Task Two requires fwice the time as Task One. In the one-hour test, you are recommended to spend 1/3 of the hour (20 minutes) on Task One, and 2/3 of the hour (40 minutes) on Task Two. Mathematically, then, if you receive Band Score Five on Task One, and Six on Task Two, your score is likely to be: (1/3 of 5) + (2/3 of 6) = 1.67 +4 = 5.67 This would certainly be put down to 5.5, since you cannot receive quarter scores. However, if you achieve Band Score 5.5 on Task One, and Six on Task Two, the maths gives an overall score of Six. So, if the difference between your Task One and Task Two score is haifa band score, itis your Task Tivo score which will determine your overall score. Also, many students are slow writers, and go over-time, leaving less time to complete their second writing task. On which task would you prefer to have /ess time: the one that has more weight (Task Two), or the one that has less weight (Task One)? Obviously, if you had to write a hurried answer, under time pressure, you should do that on Task One, since it has /ess weight. | This argument, Argument 2, recommends that you do Task Two first. This is a good argument,Fiat but it is affected by the fact that the maths that we did only works if. 1. the difference between your Task One and Task Two score is half a band score, 2. you are good enough at Task Two to score a reasonable score. As we found out, ifthe difference between scores is one full band score, then it makes no difference which task | you do first. Argument 3: Do the Easier Task First If we do the easier task first, we: 1, make efficient use of the time, by completing the writing task quicker, 2. gain a good feeling, which will help us for the next writing task So, this argument, Argument 3, suggest, if you feel more able to do Task One, do Task One first Similarly, if you feel more able to do Task Two, do Task Two first This is a strong argument, but itis affected by: 1. Argument 2. 2. the difficulty in knowing which task you are naturally better at. Remember also, this may depend on the exact tasks on the day you do the IELTS test, meaning you need to spend some time examining them both, since their content and nature may affect your decision about which one is likely to be easier for you Conclusion The conclusion is that it is your decision, Practise some systems, and see what works for you.Preliminary Sometimes students make mistakes right at the very beginning of the writing task — mistakes which immediately lower the score no matter how good the writing is, Students do not read or answer the question well, ‘The IELTS band descriptors are quite clear about this. The public version reads: © Task Response: 1. Answers the question fully and relevantly I eo =a Lark © — | addresses the task only partially; addresses all parts of the task | | the format may be inappropriate although some parts may be _—_ addresses all parts of the task in places more fully covered than others Extracted from the complete IELTS Writing Task 2 Band Descriptors (public version) As these descriptors suggest, a piece of writing may be very good, but if itis not relevant to the question, or does not completely answer that question, it will be scored lower. Well, first you need to find the question, right? Part One: Finding the Question Straight into an exercise. / Exercise 2 Look at the following Task Two question, City centres are very crowded with cars. They offen cause a great deal of pollution. Cars should be banned from all these centres. ‘To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? What is wrong with the following two sample answers?(irked Essay A Essay B City centres seem to be very crowded with cars, and it may be a growing problem. This essay will agree with this. People have too many cars, and they often work in cities. This means they drive their cars to these areas, causing crowding. This is made worse by the narrowness of many city streets. Another reason cities are crowded is that the centres have many shops. These shops need vehicles to deliver good, bringing in even more cars, or even trucks. My opinion is that the city centres are indeed very crowded with cars, and something must be done to solve this problem. City centres are popular areas, and particularly crowded with cars. These cause some pollution, but whether it is a great deal is certainly worth considering. | think itis. ‘One reason for this is that cars are often jammed in city streets, and they do not move fast. This means they remain stil, emitting exhaust gases into the air for long periods of time. Some people might say that many cars do not cause much pollution because these cars are built © modern standards, The trouble is, the effect of thousands of cars together in small city | spaces still creates a great deal of pollution particularly on windless days and in narrow streets IELTS essay questions often have ‘warm-up’ sentences which are simply statements of fact. There is no issue or argument about these statements, and you are not suppos them. Thus, in Exercise 2, Essay A, the student has jumped immediately upon the fi d to write about + statement about city centres being crowded with cars. It is an interesting statement — but it is just the ‘warm-up’ statement, This is a very common problem. Students see a few key words in the question, remember a classroom discussion or essay they wrote, and then busily begin writing down all those ideas on the paper. But are they answering the question? No! We should not write about the task’s first statement [*City centres are very crowded with cars") nor should we write about the second statement [*[Cars] often cause a great deal of pollution’) as Essay B has done. They are just simple facts. We need to write about the statement that people in this case, the shird statement, about whether would argue about — the argument statement cars should be banned from city centres. Therefore neither essay A or B are relevant to the que ion, and would be heavily scored down in the “Task Response’ category (to, at most, IELTS e, probably IELTS Four),Part Two: ‘Distilling’ the Question Sometimes the actual question is a little ‘over-written’, and needs to be ‘distilled’ or shortened to something more exact. We should certainly use the key words from the question [See Tip 11, “Final Note’, before Exercise 29]. However, if we copy everything down, we may: 1. write unclear andior off-topic essays, 2. waste our time. This is because if we copy too much of the introduction used in the question paper, then these words are not considered as part of our answer. / Exercise 3 Can you find the statement that we should write about in the following essay questions? 4. There are many problems on earth needing attention, and there should be fewer missions into space. 2. Crime rates are growing in many major cities, so capital punishment is necessary. 3. Fossil fuels are running out, and nuclear power is the only practical alternative. 4. Doctors have no right to withhold information, and must always be willing to tell the patients the truth. 5. The economy of a country should take priority, and the environment should be re- garded in second place. 6. The popularity of large-screen movies is declining, and cinemas are dying out. Sometimes the argument statement mixes a little fact, as in Examples 1, 2, and 3. These three questions can be ‘distilled’ to whether you agree or disagree that: 1, there should be fewer missions into space, 2. capital punishment is necessary, 3. nuclear power should be used, \ce 1. there are many problems on earth needing attention, and 2. crime rates are growing in many major cities, and 3. fossil fuels are running out, are all statements of fact. Sometimes the argument statement writes the same opinion Avice, in two different w: perspectives, as in Examples 4, 5, and 6, These can be ‘distilled’ to whether you agree or di that: ree(iinrke acd 4. doctors have a right to withhold information, 5. a country's economy is more important than the environment, 6. cinemas are dying out. Avoid Double Negatives Distilling a question is important if it is written negatively, or in a ‘no’ form. For example: doctors should not withhold information. It would be confusing to use a ‘double’ negative by writing: | disagree that doctors should not give information to patients. Itis much clearer to write: | believe that doctors should freely give all information to patients. or even clearer. | believe that doctors should not withhold information, but freely give it to patients. See also Tip 11, Exercise 29, Example j. 10Bl Identify Essay Type Let us continue with the next very important tip related to understanding the essay question ~’ Exercise 4 1. Whatis the difference between the first two of the following essay tasks (A & B), compared to the second two (C & D)? 2. How did you identify the difference? 3. How is the fifth essay task different? Sample Essay Tasks A. The best way to reduce the number of traffic accidents is to make all young drivers complete a safe-driving education course before being licensed to drive. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? B. The threat of nuclear weapons undermines world peace, but nuclear power provides cheap and clean energy. Do the benefits of nuclear technology outweigh the disadvantages? C. A large number of deaths are caused by road accidents. Why do so many road accidents occur? Make recommendations that would help to reduce their number D. Modern life is very stressful. People have to manage their time and other resources very carefully. How can they have less stress when they are so busy? E. Work is taking a more important role in people's lives. Why are people working so much? Do you think this trend is good or bad? The difference between the first two tasks compared to the second two is that the first two are argument, Argument tasks require us to argue a point of view, Question A is a statement which Wwe must agree or disagree with (or take a position in the middle), while Question B asks a direct yes/no question. Another example could be: “Do you think [X] is good or bad?" or “Do you agree or disagree?” nca ‘Writing Task Two The second two tasks are discussion or discursive, These require us to discuss a topic (rather than take a position), They have question words such as ‘Why’ and “How’ (as in Essay Question C & D respectively) or direct requests, such as “Make recommendations’ (as in Essay Question C), or “Give suggestions” Be careful, since argument essays can sometimes use the word ‘discuss’. For example: ‘Smoking should be banned. Discuss this issue. Here we have a controversial statement, but there are no question words such as ‘what’ (would be the benefits?), or ‘How’ (could this be done?), and there are no d ‘sion instructions such c as ‘explain’ the best way to enforce this, or ‘recommend’ methods to convince smokers to stop. Clearly then, the essay instruction *Discuss this issue’ can only mean, discuss it by arguing whether you agree or not ~ that is, take a position and argue the point, It is an argument essay. Similarly, the question may specifically give two opposing views, and say: Discuss both these views, and give your opinion. Since an opinion is necessary, this is an argument essay. Again, “di done by arguing them. Thus, this essay is an ‘argue both sides” essay. uussing’ sides can only be ‘The last Task (Essay Task E) is a combination of both discu word ‘why’ asks you to give reasons for a trend — that is, discuss, and the yes/no question asks sion and argument, The question for your opinion — that is, argui This means there are actually four types of questions, as follows. 1. Argument Questions (give an opinion; argue a side) 2. Argument Questions (give an opinion; argue both sides) 3. Discussion Questions 4, Mixed Questions (discuss, and give an opinion/argue a side) Itis, of course, important to identify exactly what sort of question we have in order to answer it (Tip 3). Argument questions [1 and 2] logically must be more common in the IELTS Academic Module, since arguing a point is a more academic exercise. In addition, argument questions are certainly more difficult in planning, organising, and writing, and so the next few tips will look at them. 2Before we look at definite advice on how to organise an IELTS essay, it is important to spend some time considering different writing styles. Look at the following exercise, “ Exercise 5 1. Which of the following 50-word paragraphs (A, B, or C) do you like best? Why? A. Cars should be banned and eliminated from cities. Not only should they be banned, but also not tolerated, and thrown from the lives of all urban dwellers. Such removal from society allows for cleaner air, purifying what we breathe, purging an evil from society and a burden from our existence. B. | think cars should be banned from cities. One reason for this is to improve the air quality, which surely would follow. Another reason is to reduce car accidents, and this in turn would save society a great deal of money. These reasons alone are sufficient to justify removing cars. C. Cars multiply as flowers do. As flowers are thought of as good, if they grow over a farmer's field so thickly to replace the rice, then their beauty is not considered. Animals can eat flowers, but not always ~ so farmers, animals, and flowers must have a proper balance in this world. 2. Which of the following lines (1, 2, or 3) best shows the way each paragraph makes its point? 1 2. 3. seers pie eee 3. Which of the paragraphs do you think would be best in an IELTS test, and in western universities? Each paragraph — A, B, and C — has good points. Paragraph A makes its point in a pattern like Line 3 ~ a series of similar structures. The point is clear and repeated in similar ways with some force and interesting images, Paragraph B makes its point like Line I ~a straight line. It makes 13Cainer ees 4 a clear point at the beginning, argues it logically, and repeats it at the end. Paragraph C makes its point like Line 2 ~ a spiralling line. The point is not so clear, but the writing is creative and makes the reader think about the subject in different ways. Some people think that Paragraphs A, B, and C are typical of Arabic, Western, and Asian writing styles respei uation; however, in the situation of an IELTS test, and in western univer with straight-line logical sequence, which is judged as better. We can clearly see this by looking at the public version of the IELTS band descriptors, which advises us to: ely, Each of these paragraphs could be good writing in the right ties, it is the second paragraph, + present a clear position + sequence information and ideas logically + present, extend, and support main ideas + present a clear central topic within each paragraph So, it is the straight-line logis night be di ion, or arguing it strongly, or disagreeing with others, or if you prefer long and imaginative sentences mixing together many ideas. But to repeat, in an IELTS test, the direct and straight model is the one you will need fo become used to if you want to achieve higher band scores. let us now look at argument essays and how to organise them using this straight-line logi of the second paragraph that we will work towards in this book. ult of unfamiliar to you, for example, if you do not like giving a direct ne So, ‘There are two common essay models, known as *For & Against’ and ‘Opinion-led’ (as shown in the next exercise). Now remember, IELTS argument essays usually require us to: 1. give our opinion, 2. look at both sides of the issue The first requirement is usually stated in the question, The second req stated (mea essay should do this anyway [See Tip 9]. But how? ement is sometimes ning we should do it [Tip 3]), but even if it is not stated, a mature and better-written ’ Exercise 6 1. What are the differences between the following two essay structures? 2. Which do you think is better? 3. Which would be better if you ran out of time at Point 1, or Point 2 (as shown)?anda cia cailensae ad ‘For & Against’ Essay Opinion-ted Essay Introduction Introduction (with your opinion) One side (with reasons) First Reason Second Reason No time tof 4 Other side (with reasons) : No time lett 2 Other side (+ countering) Conclusion (with some counter- Conelusion ing and your opinion) If we ran out of time at Point 1, the ‘For & Against’ essay would not have an opinion, and be totally one-sided, Without the opi what the writer really thinks. In addition, it would be obviously not complete, and rather strange, ion, the essay would be weak, leaving the reader wondering In contrast, the opinion-led essay would have a clear opinion, and support for that opinion, making a coherent whole (although it would be one-sided, which would lower the Task Response score, but only if the IELTS question asked you to look at both sides). If, as is far more likely, we ran out of time at Point 2, the “For & Against’ essay would be balanced, but still lack an opinion, and similarly be weak. The opinion-led essay would still have the clear opinion, and support, and now be balanced. So, if we accept that you, as a student of English, may run out of time, which essay organisation is better in an IELTS test? Tip 5 is the suggestion that an opinion-led essay is a better ‘exam-attack’ approach, since even if We run out of time, it still creates a strong, coherent, and purposeful pie ing, There are also other reasons why it is good, and these will be discussed in Tip 17 ¢ of w This book will thus use this opinio ind comes with its own difficult led approach in all its tips and sample answers, but this es. We have a long road yet to go, 4 approach is not always eas so take a deep breath and let us continue together.16 Preliminary | How do we begin? Many students, realising that time is important, immediately begin writing | their essays, hoping the ideas will come as they write. This usually leads to the sort of answers (and problems) shown in Tip 3. These problems can all be avoided by spending three to four minutes planning the essay before we write, and this is Tip 6. Planning an essay leads to clear and logical organisation. The IELTS band descriptors are quite clear about this. The public version reads: = Coherence & Cohesion: 1. Organises the writing, showing progression | ep a PUP [ee ae 7 ll | presents information with some arranges information and ideas logically organises information organisation but there may be a__coherently and there is a clear and ideas; there is clear lack of overall progression overall progression progression throughout | — | Extracted from the complete IELTS Writing Tsk 2 Band Descriptors (publi version). Part One: Planning an Argument Essay Let us look at the original (argument) essay question. City centres are very crowded with cars. They often cause a great deal of pollution. Cars should be banned from all these centres. ‘To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? ‘There are five steps in this planning process, as follows. Step 1 Argument questions divide into two opposing or opposite sides, so quickly draw up the following table.YesiAgree/True (... should ban...) NoIDisagree/Not true (... shouldn't ban...) Step 2 Now, fill in the table, Why should cars be banned in town centres? Why should they nor? Remember, these reasons are very important. These points will become the essay body paragraphs" fopic sentences. Your whole essay will be based on these as the main points to support your opinion. Match the following two columns, 4 logical A they apply to, or affect, many or most people. 5s they are not repeitive; every word is meaningful 2 elevant 8 and counts. they makes sense; they are based on the Your main al eee swhich real world points need tobe 4 honest means they can convince the reader. they clearly link to the specific essay question a cones: E (not just the general topic) 6 wide in scope F you actually believe in them. Three Factors for Obtaining Ideas 1. The question says to “use your own knowledge and experience”. Do this. Think about the real world. Does it actually happen in the real world? If so, there must be good reasons for this, What are they? For example, should we ban cigarettes? Most students would immediately say *yes’, but in the real world, we do not! Why not? Perhaps . * governments receive large amounts of tax revenue from cigarettes, + many people want to smoke, + it would be politically impossible to ban this product, + many people think it is a case of free will and civic freedom, + the ‘slippery slope’ argument applies [Can we then ban coffee? Tea?), * is it not practical to enforce such a ban, a ‘black-market’ would simply emerge, increasing the crime rate. By thinking of the real world, stronger and more mature points for the other side. u might realise that, despite what you first believed, there are 7Sacra 18 | sugges 2. Do not think about small numbers of people. If you want your reasons to be strong, they must cover large parts of society. As we discussed in the previous exercise,’ reasons need to be wide in scope’, that is, they apply to or affect many or most people. * Answers: IC, 3D, 4, SB, 6A _For example, you should not argue against missions into outer space because they are dangerous for astronauts [the men in space], since this danger is only for a few people. It is much stronger to virust that, for example, epidemies, being dangerous to many people, Then give examples of SARS, and HINT 's from space could be brought back to Earth, causing widespread such as AIDS, | iller viruses, Similarly, if you argue that dogs should not be banned in cities because dogs are needed to help the blind (which af argue that dogs are needed as protection, both personally and against burglars/home invasion (which affects many people), the argument is much stronger. Then give examples of how useful cls just a few people), the reason is not strong enough. However, if you dogs are in this respect. This means that you may have to ‘widen’ your argument to make it stronger. If you argue that cinemas will always be popular because of the deals they offer to peop! edit cards (perhaps a small number), you should then confirm that this is actually a large number of people —*... and in this age of electronic transactions, almost all consumers now use these cards.” with ci Think about this also when deciding your opinion. If the issue is: country’s education system should force all children to learn a minority language, most students usually want to argue, *Yes’, based on the point that it can ‘enhance and preserve an interesting minority culture’, But then you must think, it is a minority culture (not a majority), meaning that the benefits are ately only fora few. Your argument is weak. This gives you two choices. a. Widening your argument [so that most people can benefit from this investment in minority culture] b. Changing your viewpoint to ‘No!’ [Costs too much; overloads school children; complicates and can divide society] 3. Think MESHL, as | will shortly explain. This helps you consider a statement from many im- portant perspectives, and decide more maturely on an issue. For our “banning cars’ planning, we couldYes (... should ban...) No (... shouldn't ban ... + reduce pollution in city centres + very impractical, cost a great deal + make city centres more attractive, with + far too unpopular more space Step 3 Now, choose your side or opinion, Remember, the IELTS writing task asks you “To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?” I believe we should take a clear agree/disagree position, even if it is making the issue too simple, We should do this because the benefits of such a straightforward approach in planning and writing (as | will show) are far greater than the disadvantage of simplifying too much Such an approach is also favoured by the band descriptors, which are quite clear about this. The public version reads: Task Response: 2. Gives a position or opinion 5 6 7 expresses a position but the presents a relevant position development is not always clear presents a clear position although the conclusions may and there may be no throughout the response become unclear or repetitive conclusions drawn Extracted from the complete IELTS Writing Task 2 Band Descriptors (publie version). A ‘middle’ position (“I partly/partially agree’) usually makes no sense. If, for example, you think something can be done, but only in special cases, then, in principle, you agree (and the ‘not in all cases” comment could appear in the final thoughts as a warning or suggestion (See Tip 13: 3)). So, take a clear yes/no, should/should not, or agree/disagree position (although this can be expressed with honest uncertainty [See Appendix 1, Item k]). Thinking of the real world, and also what I believe, I disagree with the essay topic — that is, 1 think cars should nor be banned from town centres ~ the right-hand-side of the table. Step 4 Now, look at that side and extend each point. Draw arrows (—>) to show the logic. Think of + the consequences (good (=, ) or bad |). 1920 ae + what further consequences (better [-}{) or worse { \*!) could follow. + examples, both generally and specifically. Remember that the question directly asks you to ‘include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.’ Specific examples — that is, using real events or situations — can often be strongest. Do you or someone you know have any personal experience with the issues? Think about ‘what if” ~ that is, if one point happens, or is true, what will probably happen or be true later that is better/worse. As Tip 15, Part Four will say: “Go forward! Move ahead!” All these points will become the essay body paragraphs’ supporting sentences, and need to show development and progression. Students often have difficulty with Steps 2 to 4. Tip 16 will give more help when giving support to the main points, but now I can give five ‘themes’ which can often help. I will list them in what I think is the order of importance ~ most important to least important. Think about whether doing or not doing something can have a positive or negative effect on: Money/Economy, Lifestyle, Safety/Crime, Environment. If we change the order a bit, we can make the ‘acronym’ MESHL, which might help you remember these themes. Most main points can be linked in some way to these, and they make points strong because these themes are probably the five most important in our lives. The next two exercises will prove all this ’ Exercise 7 Try to support the idea of banning cars in city centres by linking the possible consequences of doing this in a positive way to each of the five themes we have discussed. Fill in the table to do this.‘Arguments in Favour Theme Banning cars in city centres 1. Money/Economy 2. Physical or Mental Health ¢ s & 2 3. Lifestyle 4. Safety/Crime suinsey any 5. The Environment ’ Exercise 8 Now, to show how flexible and useful these five themes are, try using them again, but this time arguing against banning cars in town centres ~ that is, write possible negative consequences linked to each of the five themes. Arguments Against Theme Banning cars in city centres 1. Money/Economy 2. Physical or Mental Health 3. Lifestyle 4, Safety/Crime 6. The Environment snsey enyeBen e1issog Possible answers to this and the last exercise are given in Appendix 2. ’ Exercise 9 Here are the three other argument essay topics that will appear in this book, Do you agree or disagree that: 1. capital punishment is necessary and good [which is in the Summarising Exercise], 2, doctors should not be allowed to withhold medical information from their patients [which isin the Final Writing Tasks, First Question], 3. economic development of a country should always be placed ahead of its environment [which is in the Final Writing Tasks, Second Question] 2Writing Task Two You can start thinking now about these, As we did in Exercise 7 and 8, try to connect both sides of these arguments to as many of the MESHL themes as you can. Possible answers to the first one are given in Appendix 3 (since, by the time we reach the be able to think more by yourself). ond and third topic, you should Now, moving back to our planning process, when doing Step 4, normally we would only extend and support one side of the issue, but to show how it is done, I will do the other side as well. Doing this gives the diagram on the next page Reduce ‘medical problems Yes eke > should ban...) ne © |) reduce pollution money’ in city centres 4 Ss . make centres os +) more attractive, with more space Step 5 Now, use this planning table to begin writing. hesoaen [Same woe pion 1 point + ig k 2 cae 1a: z poi Ciena aso vy hs sant on 22 #4 very impractical, [My Opinion] Almost unaffordable Be No Cause great shouldn't ban...) inconvenience EY E “cost a great deal 7 —* - Poltically possible? 2° far too People love thoir cars unpopular eteopie walarywon ee Five paragraphs is probably the most an intermediate leaner can write in 40 minutes, which suggests the structure shown on the left By planning your essay in this way, it will probably be relevant, have sutficient ideas, and be organised, and thus be clearer and better argued. Read the IELTS descriptors on coherence & cohesion at the beginning of th tip to see how important this is.Part Two: Planning a Discussion Essay Look at this question, Obesity (being extremely overweight) is @ growing problem in society. Discuss the causes and effects of this, and make suggestions to deal with this problem, iscuss the causes/effects” and ‘make suggestions’ parts of the question tell us that this is a in essay. Tip 3 tells us to check the requirements of the question, which leads to the three important words: causes, effects, and suggestions. The planning is similar to argument essays, without the ‘other side’ Steps | and 2 give the left hand side of the following table, Obesity F Junk food. many wester oF Hise outers style: ears, DVDs, play Causes + Bad diet stations. eg. children Ce ee ope ae play sport Heart, lungs, diabetes, Effects + Health problems ———— 7 Ctash-dieting prob.s = Rejection Because of modem lif + No exercise + Psychological problems ——* = Loneliness Encourage sport, give = Personal example? Suggestions |. physical edu. in school

Effects g A final issue is that itis very important to make sure that a ‘Soutione you do not put argument essay language into a discussion : ‘essay. This is explained more in the notes to the sample. Conclusion Final Thoughts answer to this discussion essay, which isin Appendix 4 23(Turkce tec You can look at the sample discussion essay answer in Appendix 4. However, do not stop there We still have many tips to “travel” Part Three: Planning a Mixed Essay Look at this question. Work is taking a more important role in people's lives. Why are people working so ‘much? Do you think this trend is good or bad? uussion essay, but there is also an argument yes! The question word ‘why’ tells us that this is a dis ust respond to no question. It is a ‘mixed’ question: discussion aid argument. As usual, you ragraph’ model, it is the question [Tip 3], doing borh parts. If we keep to our standard ‘five-p: difficult to give an exact balance, but can you use your knowledge from Parts One and Two of this tip to plan an essay structure? ' Exercise 10 ‘Try planning/structuring this question yourself, then compare it to my recommended structuring, which follows, Remember, as Tip 3 explains, the important point is that you answer both parts of the question. this essay in one of the following two ways, We could do this by organisi Introduction Background + topic Background + topic Fest Reason Pe ok one lon Renn People Wor F—seorwRomonPesion || Opin (GeedBee) + Fit Reason rt opin cota) + Oe Second Reason for this, Main Reason for this Conclusion Final Thoughts Final Thoughts Whatever structure you choose, you are answering the question completely, and the paragraphing is clear and logical, These are both needed in a good IELTS answer. A sample answer to this “mixed” question is given in Appendix 25. 24‘Chelate cactus ii A final point is to repeat what was briefly mentioned in Tip I~ that a good piece of writing must be paragraphed, and that the modern method of paragraphing is to leave fines between paragraphs. In other words, our writing not only is paragraphed, but /ooks paragraphed. Final Advice: Think Subject-Specific! Always remember that your essay reasons, support, and vocabulary are only recognised as worthwhile if they are ‘subject-specific’, Think about it. If these are nor subject-specific, they must be weak, irrelevant, and/or memorisation, right? Is that going to impress an IELTS examiner? So, make everything topic. specific, particularly the reasons. As we discussed in the Step 2 Exercise (Answer 2E), reasons need to ‘clearly link to the specific essay question (not just the general topic)’. For example, if the question asks you whether you think compulsory military service is usefill or not, and you believe it is, do nor write: My Response The military provides financial benefits, "So what! | can get financial benefits in any job! or My Response The military helps servicemen become fi "Yeah, yeah, but | can get fit at @ gym!" Think! Would these reasons make you join the military? As my respon: to write reasons which apply to the military and nowhere else. Thus, . 's show, NO! You need The military provides the youth with a range of immediate rewards, which cannot be found elsewhere. My Response ‘Wow! | never thought of that.” or ‘The military instills in the youth a range of personal attributes, which few other jobs can equal. My Response “I'm joining up, NOW! 2526 Write in Formal Style Part One: The Need for Formality ~” Exercise 11 Let us now start with a sample essay. It is based on the “banning cars’ question and planning we did in the previous tip. The following essay has some good points. These points are: 1. an opinion is given, and it is on the topic and on the task, 2. the second and third paragraph both begin with clear topic sentences, 3. these topic sentences are short, to the point, and clearly show reasons, 4, these reasons logically support the opinion in the first paragraph, 5. the essay organisation, by following the model we discussed, is clear, 6. the essay is grammatically correct. So, there are many good points; however, the italicised parts show that in one very important way, the essay is nor well-written 1. What is the major problem with this essay? 2. How can you fix it? Banning Cars Essay We have got more cars than ever on the roads, e.g. in city centres. It’s pretty much like this everywhere. Anyhow, although it’s lke this, | reckon that cars shouldn't be banned from city centres, Dou agree? Firstly, itd be impractical. It'd be like paying $300 per person. It'd cause us too many problems, e.g. during the rush hour. In the rush hour, you've got to be able to get to all things, that’s for sure. This is ‘even things in city centres etc. ‘Secondly, i'd be far too unpopular. There are lots of cars on the roads. All of us, even kids, like cars a Jot. They are No.1. We have got really caught up on cars, like taxis, truck etc. The number of cars is gonna get greater every year. We can't choose any thing anymore. We must sort of put up with cars.The corrected essay is shown at the end of this tip. Tip 7 is that we should write formally. This means we should try not to use: * informal words, such as ‘reckon’, ‘a lot of', and ‘lots’, includi slang/colloquialisms such as ‘No.1’ or ‘wanna’, + general, common, or less defined words, such as ‘get’ or ‘thing + informal grammar, such as first person plural pronouns [‘we' and ‘us'], the second person pronoun ['you]], ‘have got’, ‘pretty’ as an intensifier, and ‘ike as a preposition, + spoken English phrases, such as ‘anyhow’, ‘that's for sure’, ‘maybe’ and ‘gonna’, + abbreviations, such as ‘eg’, and ‘etc’ + multiple-word verbs, such as ‘caught up on’ and ‘put up with’ (which can usually be replaced with a more formal single word), + figures, such as $300, since itis your words that will make your message strong, and amounts are too changeable, too subjective in value, too dependent on time and place, and do not make a point clearly or with style. How do we know all this? Well, you are writing an essay (not a letter, postcard, or email) on a serious topic to an “op id the word ‘appropriate’ is used several times in the public version of the IELTS band descriptors, as well as the words ‘style’, “flexibility”, and ‘collocation’ [ = putting words together well]. But mostly, formal grammar/words results in a greater range of these aspects. Look at the IELTS band descriptors at the beginning of Tip 11 to see how audience, important this is It is also better not to use contractions; that is, do not join two words into one word with an apostrophe ~ for example, “will” and ‘not’ into ‘won't’. These are only counted as one word. The full form is two words, helping us to reach the required number of words in a quicker time. So, formality gives us the necessary style, range, and flexibility for higher IELTS vocabulary It gives us so many advantages that we need to do some exercises. Part Two: Some Specific Hints Hint 1: The Use of ‘Get’ Let us first look at the verb ‘get’, It is a very useful verb because it can have many meanings. These meanings are almost always about change. For example, a change in position (‘get over here’ and “get away’), in thinking (‘get serious’ and “get real”), in social position, often in aWriting Task Two passive voice (“get rich’, ‘get control”, “get married”, and “get divon with violence (“get robbed” and “get hurt’). ed”), or physical state, often As a multiple-word verb, “get” has even more meanings. Think about “get on/away/up/over! through/off/at/into/round”. Well, 1 will not get around to looking at multiple-word verbs, since we should completely get away from them in IELTS writing or you might ger into trouble, and if you want to ger through this book, we should get on with it right now so that we can get over these problems. Do you know what | am getting af? “Get” has so many meanings that it is used very often, and does not show an ‘attempt to use less common vocabulary’ [IELTS Seven]. There is usually a more formal and exact word which can replace i or we can change the grammar to be more formal, for example, from “get the job done” to ‘complete the work’. All this gives you a greater ‘range’ and ‘style’ of words/grammar. 1 Exercise 12 In the following table, try to replace “get with a single formal word with the same meaning Try to change some of the nouns, if appropriate. The answers and some explanations are given in Appendix 5. Informal English Appropriate Formal English ‘Get’ as a simple verb 1. Business people often get rich When he got there, he got all the pieces. Kids can get their parents to help. They always get them meals. Police eventually get most law-breakers. Most people want to get money. Many smokers get cancer. Companies want to get the best people. Scientists often get the wrong conclusion Ailliving things need to get food ‘Get’ as a multiple-word verb 11. People lke to get away from cities. 12. He got over the iliness. 2813. Society needs to get rid of waste. 14. Students study hard to get into university 15. Some people get up very early. Hint 2: The Use of ‘Thing’ ‘Thing’ is also a very useful word, with the same flexibility (and commonness) as ‘get’ Replacing this word with a more formal word adds style, precisions, and variety to your writing. ’ Exercise 13 In the following table, try to replace ‘thing’ with a more formal word, or phrasing. The answers are in Appendix 5. Informal English Appropriate Formal English 1. People generally ike sweet things, ‘The most surprising thing was that. Diligence is an essential thing for students. Universities have many interesting things. Scientists need to know everything. o7 kweN Pollution is a common thing in cities. 7. This is a controversial thing 8. Proponents of cars say many things. 9. The people found the whole thing boring, 10. Technology is a useful thing, 11. _ In school, many things are discussed. 12. _Allliving things need food. 13. Governments need to deal with this thing, 14. People need to protect their things. 15. Criminals usually deny things. 16. The victims could not do anything, 17. The first thing they thought of was.(Unie) 18. People think different things about this. 19. Shops sell many things 20. The thing is that students need to. Hint 3: The Use of ‘We/Us’ (and ‘You') You should avoid overusing ‘we’ and ‘us’ (and *you’), since it does not convey “precise nor help with your range of vocabulary. For example, it is easy to just write *w meaning twenty times, as follows: We. We... 4. are facing an environmental crisis. 11. often avoid taking responsibility for our actions. 2. cannot treat students unequally. 12, naturally think first about benefiting our country 3. _ often inappropriately apply laws. 13. sometimes have to wait for hours to buy goods. 4, are undecided about abortion 14, have found fossil dinosaurs which prove. 5. have the right to fair elections. 45. are often inconvenienced during rush hour. 6. need to acquite knowledge 16. do not usually believe political promises. 7. face a problem with crime. 17. now know human brains are different. 8. have stood on the moon. 18. go to great lengths to catch criminals. 9. are basically good, 19. could be killed by drunken drivers. 10. all need nutrition. 20. often ignore this situation. but it is obviously better to ‘step out of your essay’, writing instead about ‘they’, using different words or phrases instead. Looking at the example, “We should ban cars’, the pronoun ‘we’ can also be avoided by using: Grammar Example 4 a defined collective noun ‘Cities should ban cars.’ 2. the passive voice ‘Cars should be banned.” the structure: ‘Those who [V] Those who decide on traffic policy or ‘Those [~Jing...’ should ban cars.” However, the pronoun ‘we’ can, of course, be used at times. Often in the conclusion, it is stylish to ‘step back into your essay’, and some fixed expression use this word (and the word ‘thing”), 30cbcioiats acl such as ‘everyshing we have learnt suggests’ or ‘a “ring of the past or ‘the most important ring’, ow better collocation. Just keep in mind that the chance may exist and using these phrases can s for better use of vocabulary (‘the past has shown’, indered obsolete’, ‘the greatest challenge’) Hint 4: The Use of ‘etc’ and ‘and so on’ You should avoid using ‘ete’. This can easily be replaced with ‘and so on’; however, you can be even more stylish. Look at the sentence: “People like chocolate, sweets, and so on’, What are hocolate’ and “sweets”? What is a general ‘adjective + noun’ combination to describe this class 2) Perhay or category of objects’ s “fattening food’, or “sugar-based snacks’, or ‘unhealthy fare” Thus, use the structure: . Example A, Example B, and other [category of A and B]. giving, three possible answers: People like chocolate, sweets, and other fattening food. sugar-based items. unhealthy fare. ‘Try to use an ‘adjective + noun’ combination, since this makes the sentence more meaningful. ’ Exercise 14 Part One A. Look at the 20 ‘we’ sentences in Hint 3. Match the following 20 words with the correet sentence. A. Allcitizens F, Individuals K. Governments. The relevant authorities B. Theworld G. Thepolice L. Pedestrians Q. Judicial systems C. Students H. The public M. Commuters —R._Living organisms D. Ethicists |. Shoppers. N. Astronauts S.__Palaeontologists E. Society J. Teachers ©. Humanity T. Scientists hare not? B. Which of these sentences are logical, and whi 1, Humans drive cars. 2. Humanity is basically good.Writing Task Two 32 10. ‘Human beings want to become rich Humankind needs to protect the environment. Human beings have stood on the moon. This will make a better world for humankind. . In America, humanity generally earns high salaries. ‘Humankind works mostly during the day. ‘Some animals present a danger to human beings. Humans like chocolate. Part Two In the following examples, try to replace ‘ete’ as advised in this book. 1 © enogu 10, This system can be used in CD players, TVs ete. This medicine helps the heart, lungs ete. This results in pollution and deforestation, etc. Poverty causes unemployment and drug use ete. They all say this, whether they are ministers or presidents etc, Students use dictionaries, the Internet etc. This behaviour is likely to spread influenza, AIDS etc Drinking can causes fights and arguments etc. . This machine will enhance bridges, electricity supply ete. |. The radiation affects the transistors, valves etc, ‘The answers are in Appendix 5Hint 5: The Use of ‘not’ You should try to avoid using ‘bare negatives’, namely, the negative “not” in phrases such as: not any, no, .Rotmuch...._ replacing them with: “litle... “not many...” a fo! Thus, Criminals do not have many friends and do not have much hope in life. is better written as... Criminals have few friends and little hope in life. “Few" is for countable nouns [*friends’; ‘little’ is for uncountable nouns [*hope*]. This sounds more formal with a better style, and allows us to introduce the words “little” and “few”, which are less commonly used. Hint 6: Think about Noun Phrases Firstly, consider the sentence: | think children attend school is necessary. The grammar is wrong. Someshing is necessary. We can make ‘children attend schoo!” into a noun by using the gerd, or ‘ing’ form. | think children attending school is necessary. This is fine, but is there a formal noun form that can be used? What is the noun from ‘attend"? Attendance! Thus | think schoo/ attendance/attendance at school is necessary. This is grammatically correct, and the style is much better, Now, consider one of the sentences we will actually use later: When people try to park cars in cities, they usually find it difficult. We can make “to park cars’ into a noun by using the gerund, giving the sentence: Parking cars in cities is usually difficult. This new sentence is much shorter, and makes the same point. That is, the sentence is concise, and concision is a sign of a good writer. 33The use of noun phrases is academic, stylish, and concise, and recognised by the Lexical immar band descriptors. So, remember the gerund form, and think about Resource, and the G formal nouns for some of your verbs. Instead of writing, People can see litter everywhere. Litter is @ common sight. We are living longer and longer. aim for Life expectancy is steadily increasing | This helps the economy develop. Economic development will inevitably follow. ’ Exercise 15 Part One In the examples, try to re-write “not ...any/much/many’ using a better style. 4, Students do not have much money. Computers do not have any feelings Politicians do not show much honesty. . People often do not have enough time, Poor people do not know any other way. When | was young, | did not have many toys. They did not have much difficulty in the test. eNOae on . Some criminals will nof show any compassion. Part Two Can you change the following gerund noun phrases into more formal nouns? 1, Regulating business 6. Revealing personal information 2. Removing rubbish 7. Explaining to patients 3. Developing the economy 8. Destroying the environment 4. Preparing for the future 9, Demolishing historic buildings 5. Avoiding responsibility 10. Abolishing capital punishment In the following senten the sentences to be more stylish? . can you change the italicised verb forms into noun forms, re-writing 3411. The economy may stagnate. 12. If we ban cars, it will reduce pollution. 13. When people gamble, it usually causes them to lose money. 14, Mistakes can happen with capital punishment. 15, People need to get more knowledge. 16. If students can commit themselves to study, they will succeed. 17. If the ice melts even slightly, sea levels will ise significantly. 18. Countries need to treat their environment better. 19. Children can learn to be responsible, and this is another reason. 20. Countries need to exploit their environment if they want their economies to grow. Alll the answers are in Appendix 5. ” Exercise 16 Now, let us put together everything we have learnt, and add a few other points. Complete the following table, changing the inappropriate informal English (in italics), with formal English more suitable to IELTS writing. The answers and explanations are given in Appendix 6, Informal English Appropriate Formal English 1. Once there was not much stuff on the roads but now we ve got heaps of cars .g., during rush hour. These cause problems, lke pollution, And it makes us as mad as hell o2 Rk eN It’s pretty much the same everywhere 7. reckon it's getting worse every year. 8. Its realy awl, that’s for sure 9. There are lots of cars, trucks, taxis and so on, 10... and their number is sort of going up 11. Sometimes you maybe have 3 cars, 35(oie 36 12. We like them more and more. 13. as well as other material things. Would people accept pollution if they knew it 14, would eventually kill them? 15. We really need to develop new things, Use noun 16... and adapt to other conditions, phrases 17. There isn't any other way. Use a noun 18. since we will just need more cars. phrase 19, Unless we all do this, there'll be problems, 20 for our kids, too. Now, let us move back to the short Remember, we had to make the words and phrasing more formal, It should be easier for you say on banning cars that we gave in Exercise Il. now. Try again, and then look at the following sample answer. All the changes are shown in italic print There are more cars than ever on the roads ~ for example, in city centres. It is very much the same ‘everywhere. Despite being the same everywhere, | believe that cars should not be banned from city centres. Firstly, it would be impractical. The cost would be prohibitive. The inconvenience would be considerable. For example, during the rush hour. During rush hour, cars certainly need freer access to all roads. This includes roads in city centres. Secondly, it would be far too unpopular. There are many cars on the roads. People, even children, like cars very much. Society has become heavily dependent on cars, such as taxis, trucks, and other forms of transport. The number of cars will rise every year. There is no choice. Cars simply have to be accepted.Essay Coherence: Keep on Course Preliminary Alright. We now know to write in formal style, but we still have to write an essay so that all the parts fit together well, or in other words, “cohere’ or show ‘cohesion’. We do this with a variety of smaller ‘signpost’ and “pointer” words and methods, known as ‘cohesive deviees’. The IELTS band descriptors are specific about this. The public version says: Coherence & Cohesion: 2 Makes the sentences and parts fit together 5 6 7 uses cohesive devices uses @ range of cohesive | makes inadequate, inaccurate effectively, but cohesion within devices appropriately although or over-use of cohesive devices and/or between sentences may _there may be some under-/ ___ be fauity or mechanical over-use | Extracted from the complete IELTS Writing Task 2 Band Descriptors (publie version). "This tip, Tip 8, and the next tip, look at ways to make sure that the essay clearly fits together by “following a clear and straight line of argument, Hint 1: Signposts The planning procedure shown in Tip 6 creates an introduction paragraph with a clear opinion, and three body paragraphs. The first two body paragraphs each have a reason which supports the opinion in the introduction. In this first tip on essay coherence, we will look at these first two body paragraphs. The first two body paragraphs show a reason, and if must be clear to the reader that the paragraphs are doing this. This is why we need ‘signposts’. So, where do we see signposts? At the side of the road, right? And what do signposts show? The direction to somewhere, right? We read signposts to know how to go from Point A to Point B. Signposts in an essay have the same purpose, showing the reader how to go from the start of your argument to the end. Better writers make signposts in more interesting ways; however, for the weaker writer, using 37ina CU 38 simple and clear signposts is a good idea, and this book will also show this ple and clear” model, For example, because there are two of these ‘reason’ paragraphs, the use of Firstly’ and “Secondly,” seems to be very popular. These terms are fine, if used correctly. ’ Exercise 17 Can you see what is unclear with the ‘Firstly’ and “Secondly” (shown in bold) in our short “banning cars’ e yy shown at the end of the previous tip? The problem with ‘Firstly’ and ‘Secondly’ in the essay is that the reader is not aware of what it is that is “first” and “second”. Is it the first apple? The first orange? The first banana? What is it exactly that is first"? ‘The answer to this is that it is the first reason why cars should not be banned from city centres This fact needs to be made definite and clear to keep your essay “on course’, There are three methods to make a clearer answer, as follows, Method 1 (Introducing Reasons First) ‘There are more cars than ever on the roads ~ for example, in city centres. It is very much the same everywhere, Despite being the same everywhere, | believe that cars should not be banned from city centres . for these reasons. . for many/several reasons. [, some of which follow.]* . and here are some reasons. . and these are my reasons, «for the following reasons. . and my reasons are as follows. Here are my reasons. « . Firstly, it would be impractical. [And so on] -First of all, | [Subject] + [Verb] - why city centres should not ban cars -The second is that it would be far too reason - for not banning cars in city centres Another unpopular. = against banning cars in city centres | [And so on}elias coeceatanin aia * This is possible, but do not go too far in the unnecessary use of words, since the introduction needs to be short (and honest!) Do not write strange dishonest Muff such as, ‘although the underlying premises on which this is based are considerably fallacious, but nevertheless, need to be discussed,’ which is most obviously memorised, and would need much more specific explanation and elaboration in order to make sense. The e: 22 uses this method. say in Appendi Method 2 (Introducing Reasons Second) There are more cars than ever on the roads — for example, in city centres. It is very much the same everywhere. Despite being the same everywhere, | believe that cars should not be banned from city centres. -Thefirst | oe reason [for this] is that it would be impractical. [And so on] The second = why city centres should not ban cars is that it would be far too Another | reason for not banning cars in city centres eee | uf ular. -Atuther | ~ against banning cars in city centres oo [And so on] Both Method 1 and 2, by clear signposting, show what the ‘first’ and ‘second’ refer to. They refer 17 and 20 use this Method 2. to reasons for not banning cars. The essays in Append Method 3 (Signposts Reason Signposts ih Meaning) In this method, you just do not use the words ‘Firstly’, ‘Secondly’, ‘One’, ‘Two", or ‘reason’ You just give your reason, repeating the opinion (as always) in Paragraph 3. In this case in nd clear. You could signpost the first one with a particular, this reason must be short, simpl meaningful adverb, or adverbial phrase, such 2(iirc Signpost Reason Meaning of Signpost To begin with, | To start with, | [1 am beginning now with my reasons. Fora start, [Sbj ]*Verb Clearty, [think the following should be clear to everyone.) Basically, [This is based on a simple or “basic” idea.] ‘ay in Appendix 23 use this method. The first three ‘The example essay in Exercise 20, and the es al and ‘safe’, signposts are gene! nce their meaning is straightforward, The last two signposts have more specific meanings. If using them, your reasons must be clear to everyone, or very basic, respectively. This means that you cannot write, for example Clearly, capital punishment will reduce crime. or... Basically, co-education allows the use of specific teaching methods according to the gender, thus maximising learning opportunities. .. since the first reason is nof so clear, in fact, many people would disagree with it, while the second reason reasons so that they show the qualities of being clearly previous two examples, we could write: not based on “basic” ideas at all and is illogical. You might need to re-write these tual, and basic, respectively. In the Clearly, capital punishment shows the uncompromising power of justice, which may well reduce crime. - and. Basically, co-education reflects real life, thus providing real-life learning opportunities in relation to gender interaction. Non-Reason Signposts ‘The question asks you to “Give reasons for your answer’, so giving reasons in your topic sentences the most straightforward way to organise your essay. However, with Method 3, you could also use ‘non-reason’ signposts to be more original. For example. 40Signpost Point - benefit [When giving a good : Adear - advantage point of something] is that (Sbj.] + Verb) = positive is [Noun] [When giving a hacd point rf =major —_ | - concern ne of somethi y main = worry Be careful here that you do in fact phrase your point as a benefit or worry, This phrasing is not always the same as a reason, For example: Signpost Point Aclear benefit is that car access is essential to the economic activities of cily centres. [of not banning cars] ~ The two underlined parts are not the same. The signpost says benefit, but the point ii The signpost needs to be ‘One reason’, or the point needs to be rewritten to show a benefit. Here a reason, are bvo examples. essential to the Aolear benefit is that cars can continue to provide access, economic activities [of not banning cars]__is the continuing access cars provide, of city centres. Whichever method you use, it is best if the shird paragraph repeats the opinion using key words from the question [The second reason why city centres should not ban cars is ..."]. This is quite important for two reasons. 1. Mostly, it reminds the reader what the second point supports. This is because the third paragraph of the essay is some ‘distance’ from the original opinion statement in the first paragraph, so the reader needs to be reminded what the essay is arguing. Again, this is just clear signposting, 2. As an additional benefit, it gives you complex sentences/structure. Look at the ‘Gram- matical Range & Accuracy’ descriptors in Tip 12, Part One, and you will see the impor- tance of complex structures in your essay. So, that is nvo benefits at once, making this a very good idea, but the grammar needs to be good, so let us look at that 4Se ores Opinion ‘Signpost’ Grammar We have a choice of two gramma complex sentence, or a complex noun phrase, as shown below patterns to re-write the opinion in Paragraph Three: using a | Signpost Point | why [opinion clause} for =is that - Another : reason | _ supporting [Sbj. + V]. = point ; against ~ Afurther ie [opinion noun phrase) «is (N} [Sbj, {not} [(-)ng] (0b) threaten the very existence of humankind, z 3. to give humankind sufficient warning of possible threats that may arise from this environment 44This third grammar, using ‘to (Verb]’, is known as the ‘infinitive of purpose’ and can only be used if the question has a ‘should’ or suggests adv ce. For example, we can use it for: Reason for Agreeing Essay Question [Another reason (...)is...] Cars should be banned. to reduce pollution, Schools should use more computers. (why?) to facilitate learning, ‘There should not be more space missions. to avoid the huge expense, .. but not for. Online shopping will replace traditional shopping (that) itis convenient Co-education is better than single-sex education. [Why] _ its ability to provide. People lived easier lives in the past. the simplicity of lfe then The second grammar uses noun phrases, which are more academic, but the first grammar [‘is that (Sb.) + (V)'] is the easiest to write, and thus t 's book will mostly use that model. Let us explore a few more issues related to signposting ’ Exercise 19 The following ‘signposting” topic sentences for our ‘banning cars’ essay have problems, Can you see what is wrong with them? The answers are in Appendix 7. 1. The first reason why cars should not be banned from city centres... is that it would be far to 2. a. The first and definitely most powerful reason... : ee impractical, b. First of all, one of the many points which | firmly believe is absolutely pivotal and cannot be denied... 3. a. The second reason why | agree that cars should not be banned from cities. b. Another point supporting my belief... is that it would be far too impractical. 4. a, Initially, it would be far too impractical b. Onthe one hand, 45Cupra 46 5. a. The second reason why | do not believe in this concept... is that it would b. Asecond argument for the disagreement. be unpopular. 6. a. The second reason why I am not in favour of cars is that they cause traffic jams. b. Another point supporting cars being bad is that they inconvenience pedestrians. 7. a. The second reason why cars should not be allowed to fully access the city areas, not only with highly regular routes to provide specialised services, but also with licenses endorsed by the relevant authorities, is clearly not necessary. b. Another point supporting city centres not banning cars is that they largely take advantage of natural resources, which are often traded internationally to make profit 8a. The second reason for city centres not banning cars is that it would be far too unpopular because most car drivers like to drive their vehicles. b. Another point supporting city centres not banning cars is that it would require too much construction, such as all the new bridges that would have to be built in order to divert traffic around the city centres. 9. Another reason for city centres not banning cars is that without them, the city economies would fail 10. Another reason for city centres not banning cars is that cars are convenient. Hint 2: Transition Sentences Looking at what better writers might try, another way to begin the second body paragraph is with a ‘transition’ sentence, saying the change (or transition) from the first to the second reason. This offers a chance for more interesting grammar and words, such as noun phrases. Use the pattern: First Reason ing opinion Second Reason Apart from... | In addition to... | {noun phrase), [opinion statementigerund}] _ [Give the 2” reason] As well as. In its simplest form, this could begin, ‘Apart from de first reason, ...’ This sentence is acceptable, but since:\insclitnattt has cca cca 1. the ‘first reason’ is often not written clearly, 2. using more interesting words and grammar is always good, .- a better sentence is to repeat the “first reason’ as a noun phrase. For example, for our ‘banning cars’ essay, we could write: First Reason Re-stating opinion Second Reason Apart from + impracticality, e re 2 excluding cars from would (also) be In addition to.. + its impractical nature, urban centres unpopular. As well as. + being impractical, Since we have already used the word ‘pra n the first body paragraph, we could always try to use different words. For example: t Reason {in noun phrase, using different words) + its infeasibility, Apart from. prohibiting cars from central areas In addition to + its questionable viability, ‘would (also) be far too unpopular. As well as. + the difficulty of implementation, Hint 3: ‘Inverted’ Topic Sentences In Tip 7, Part Two, Hint 6, we discussed how noun phrases often result in a better and more academic style, These phrases are either *~ing’/gerund nouns (such as “harming cars’), or the formal noun use (such as “a ban on car use’). If you can write your main reason as a noun phrase, a more interesting topic sentence would begin with that noun phrase. Use the pattern Reason leading to. Opinion ‘one reason {for this] Para? Ph Pang (Noun Phrase] is another reason -for/against_ [Noun Phrase] why (Subj. + Verb} 47(rhc Some example topic sentences are: Reason + The npractzaly | +The lack of viability | is one reason (for this.) - Theimplamettondetos | + Overwhelming unpopularity is another for city centres not banning cars. + Distinct lack of popularity Feason why city centres should not ban cars. + Resultant civic resistance Hint 4: Do Not Drift ’ Exercise 20 1. What is wrong with the following Paragraph 2 and 32 Remember, the question is about ban cars in city centres. How could you ‘fix’ this problem by adding comments? [Background] I believe cars should be banned from-ctty centres. [Comment ] Clearly it would reduce pollution. Al cars produce exhaust [Comment 2] > fumes" This is bad for people's health, so having less poll: tion would increase the level of health, saving society a [comment 5] ‘great amount of money... 3 [Comment 4] Apart from this environmental aspect, banning cars would also reduce the number of accidents, These are happening 3, everyday, Sometimes such events are horrific, causing [Comment 5] great grief and, sinilariy, a great cost to’ sociely, ‘So éttiow... ings, both in money [Comment 6] and social 2, What is wrong with the following Paragraph 3? 48Making city areas nicer, and better for pedestrians is anoth- er reason for banning cars there. This could attract more people. Cities should establish car free zones. They also need to make better footpaths. Society needs to think more about people. They could build malts, and they should plant more trees. The essay in the previous exercise is clearly signposted, but the essay *drifis” and loses the point. Paragraphs 2 and 3 do not mention ‘city centres’. The essay becomes a general ‘anti-car” essay Yes, cars cause pollution, yes, cars cause accidents, but this is true everywhere. How is this relevant to city centres? In the second part, instead of arguing a point, instead of answering the question ‘Why do you hold an opinion?”, the essay has drifted into giving recommendations or solutions to the problem That is, it is answering the questions “How can we fix it?” or ‘What can be done?” Be very careful about using the words, ‘should’, ‘have to’, ‘must’ or ‘could’, as these words usually mean you have gone ‘off-task”. These words are only useful when you have been ditectly asked to give recommendations or make suggestions ~ that is, in Discussion Essays. ‘Drifting’ is a very big problem. What happens is that. Computer viruses will never 4... Problems about computers! rifts to be controlled how to solve them Doctors receive too much Description of all the pres- drifts to, e P money sures doctors face School children should not 4... 4, Ways students can study ifts to have much homework better ng clear signposts can help keep an essay ‘on topic’, but you also need to look within the paragraph and always move the argument back to the exact ques mentions this at least once, The topic sentene, specific to the question. As the and “Link them to the Opinion” ion, Make sure every paragraph in particular, when giving reasons, must be newer to Exereise 19, Item 10, tells us: ‘Reason Reasons! !" ’ Exercise 21 1, What is the same about the following six comments, A - F? 49(Tiree 50 2. Can you add them in the right place in our essay in Exercise 20? Comments A. Central areas, by being particularly dense with vehicles, are more affected, B. ... in urban centres. C. ... , which would have the maximum effect only in relation to central areas D. ... , Which are particularly concentrated in city centres. E. ... in these areas. F. ... in town centres. You should notice that the previous six comments all mention ‘city/urban/town centres’ or that is, they ‘push’ the argument back in the right direction, You could also notice that Comments C and D give us the opportunity to use relative clauses ~ See Tip 12, Part ‘Two. The answers to Exercise 21 are: entral areas Comment t = E Comment 4 =F Comment 2 = D Comment 5 Comment 3 = C Comment 6 = Look at the essay in Exercise 20 again. Look at the last sentences (with the comments added) in sentences saying, *... $0... [Link back to ‘city n Paragraphs 2 and 3. These paragraphs end wit g thoughts’, Formal concluding sentences rephrase the n SLTS Task centres’}’. These are ‘conclu point, or the topic sentence, of the paragraph. These are not really necessary since 1 Two paragraphs are quite short ~ too short to need the topic sentence repeated again. However, as Exereise 20 and 21 have shown, to avoid drifting it can help to mention a part of the essay’ opinion [for example, ‘city centres*], or mentioning the point you are making in a few different words, When writing the last sentences of paragraphs, you ean think about using phrasing such as ‘s0" oF ‘thus’ or ‘therefore’ or ‘Clearly, ...” or “T * Look for these sentences in all the sample essay answers, and see also Point 4 at the end of Tip 17 (where iti shows. suggested that, if time is running out, such a concluding sentence could, in fact, end your essay)Preliminary We will continue with the theme of coherence and cohesion by now looking at the logic and organisation needed for more maturely written essays. Let us think about essay organisation in general. Students often write essays which are organised as follows. .7 Exercise 22 | think (Opinion. Consider the following: One reason is [Reason 1] 1, Why might the writer not be right"? 2. What might be a problem about this Another reason is (Reason 2] i = essay? 3. How would you *fix’ this? 4, What are the “dangers’ involved in In conclusion, because of [Reason 1, 2, fixing it? and 3}, | am tight. The IELTS Writing Band Descriptors can find nothing wrong with the above essay in terms of, Coherence & Cohesion, Lexical Resource, or Grammatical Range & Accuracy. It may even score very highly in these categories if it is written well. But here are three problems. Problem 1 For weaker writers, the difficulty of thinking of #hree reasons can lead to too much repetition in grammar and argument — so much that a Band Score Five is a likely result. Problem 2 The argument is certainly one-sided, and therefore not very adult or deep. The reader immediately thinks about the ‘other side’ of the argument, and immediately thinks of counter- 51CESS er 52 reasons. This means the Task Response category could be affected Problem 3 As Tip 17 will explain, the task could ask you to: ‘Discuss both sides, and give your opinion’. If we do have this task requirement, it means we must consider both sides of the argument, since (as Tip 3 explained), we must fulfil the task. This third problem is the most significant. You need to develop the grammar, planning, essay- organising, and ideas-forming skills to argue both sid means that you should be looking at the other side for any essay requirement, will help deal with Problems | and 2 , Just in case you are asked to do so. This ce doing this Thus, as an‘ what extent...agree or disagree’ task requirement. We will look at how to organise such an essay in this tip, Tip 9. We will also use a fuller ‘other side’ approach for an “Argue both sides’ task requirement, and we will look at this in Tip 17. attack” strategy, we will use a ‘look at the other side’ approach for the “To Hint 1: Balancing the Argument So, we have concluded that we should balance our essay. One way to do this would be to structure each of our three body paragraphs as follows. Reason [x]. ‘Support for Reason [xX]. Although (Other side to Reason [X]), (Counter-argument to this). It is an interesting way to write, but the paragraph has three separate features which must all fit together. This may be difficult, In addition, clear topic sentences and pa in IELTS writing, so it is probably better to add this “other sid paragraph, instead of connecting it inside others. This is the approach this book agraphs are rewarded discussion in its own separate ill take. The problem is, when using the opinion-led essay structure as we have decided to do, such balancing is not always easy. 7 Exercise 23 Thave added an ‘other side’ paragraph [Paragraph 4] to our ‘banning cars’ essay (which now has clear signposts), but there is a big problem. 1, What is the problem? 2, How could you ‘fix’ it?ieiacadtioananiitasngigl 1. [Opening]... | believe that cars should not be banned from city centres, 2. The first reason is that it would be far too impractical. [And so on] 3. The second reason why city centres should not ban cars is that it would be far too unpopular. (And 50 on] 4, However, banning cars would reduce pollution, This would make the centres cleaner. [And so on] Let us lyse the essay Okay, Paragraph 1 gives the writer's opinion [not to ban cars} Okay, Paragraph 2 supports this. (It's impractical]. Okay, Paragraph 3 supports this. [I's unpopular] Okay, Paragraph 4...huh? But | thought the writer didn't want cars banned? So why does he write that cars cause pollution, and that banning them would have good results? Huh? | don't understand! So, in order to “fix’ this essay, Paragraph 4 needs to be re-written. This paragraph must show the “other side” of the argument, so we need to use one of the supporting points from this other side, usually the strongest one, You wrote this down in the planning stage [See Tip 6, Part One] But, since it is the orher side of our opinion in the first paragraph, it cannor be introduced as our opinion. It is the opinion of ‘other’ people, not us. And since “they” disagree with us, we must disagree with ‘them’, and prove ‘them’ wrong. So, this means that the ‘other side” must be: 1. introduced as the opinion of someone else. 2. introduced somewhat weakly (since it is not what we believe). To do this, we can limit the a. number of people ['Some’], andior the b. strength of their belief (‘might claim’). 3. counter-argued (or argued against), so that it will support our opinion in Paragraph 1. So, following these three rules, we could ‘fix’ the “banning cars’ essay by writing: 4, | ‘Some? people? might claim that banning cars would reduce pollution. They? say this would make the centres cleaner. However, this argument is wrong.‘ The surrounding factories and industry will continue to produce pollution. Cars just outside the centre will continue fo produce pollution. It will | simply drift across. it will equally pollute the air. [Not beginning with “On the other hand’ or However" since these words are in our voice, \ce which follows is our opinion (which itis nob 2. Using ‘people or “they to give the opinion in someone else’s voiee, 3.Using ‘some” and/or “might to weaken the argument. *May” and “could” ate also possible. 4.Beyinning, 53Paragraph 4 could certainly be better written, but at least it now supports the opinion in the first paragraph, This essay now makes sense and is coherent. Hint 2: Using Better Words/Adding Specificity [‘It could be claimed We have introduced ‘the other side’ with “some people”. The passive voi that...”] is also possible, but neither of these ways has much ‘specificity’, and as we will see in Tip 11, ‘specificity’ is meaningful. This really improves an essay by showing that you are an original and thinking writer. Thus, think about who those ‘people’ are that disagree with your opinion, It is possible to use general terms such as ‘proponents/opponer as Tip 7, Part Two, Hint 3 tells us, even better writers could start the paragraph by specifically naming the ‘people’ advocates/supporters’ of [specific cause]; however, For example, since the argument agaias/ my opinion is based on reducing pollution and thus helping the environment, the ‘Some people’ could be specifically named as “Environmentalists”. Having thi might be against my opinion — that is, do nor want cars in word in my essay is obviously better than the word ‘people’. What other groups centres? Pethaps *City designer “Urban planners’ or ‘Health enthusiasts" So, always think about your essay. Could the ‘other side” be ‘Economists’, “Student groups’, Politicians’, “Lawyers”, ‘Drivers’, or *Pedestrians”? Similarly, you could use the structure, “Those who [V]...” or “Those [~Jing...” Thus, we have four different approaches to beginning Paragraph 4, They are, 1. a general collective noun about people the passive voice/removed subject, a general name for the people against your opinion, hon a specific name Using these for Paragraph 4 could give: 54tate aon Aaeiatinmacaaelid a strong single point from the INIPODUCHION (0... — opposite side. (Admittedly/OF course) ‘Some people may argue. ‘Some might claim. ‘There may be groups who could say ‘There are still some who think, that banning cars could reduce polton (Admittedly/Of course) e It might be argued, (One may argue... ‘The point could be made. itis possible to argue. (Admittedly/OF course) Proponents of banning cars could say... Those who favour banning cars’ might ciaim Advocates of a car-ban may contend ‘Those opposed to cars in city centres may say that this' would reduce pollution, Environmental activists may contend ‘Supporters of the environment might suggest. ‘Those preferring public transport may say. that banning cars would reduce pollution, (Admittedly/Of course) Environmentalists may claim Many pedestrians could make the point. Urban designers may argue Health enthusiasts might say. which is counter-argued. However. however. + but. [Counter-argument], [Refuting signpost/Conceding or Countering Statement (See Hint 3)). 1. Banning eats" is not repeated 2. Another model based on this is: “For those who favour [sth.], the most important point is the supposed [sth.” This has the advani of using noun phrases. For our essays, these would be “banning cars” and ‘reduetion in pollution’. 55SSS ee ener For betier and faster writers, a longer but good way to counter-argue is to use the model: However, this is unconvincing for two reasons. Firstly, ... [give the first reason], The other reason (this is unconvincing) is... [give the second reason]. ‘Okay. All this seems straightforward enough, but it is not simple, as the next exercise shows. ’ Exercise 24 What is wrong our ‘banning cars’ e: the logie and argument in the following examples of the fourth paragraph of ay’ Part One: the People a. Some people might say that... might... b. Experts c. Opponents 4. Environmental experts and politicians e. Some gun advocates could claim that. f. Social workers who oppose co-education g. Proponents of doctors having the right to withhold information Part Two: the Other Side a. Environmentalists could say that forests need to be saved. b. City planners would say that cities need more buildings. ©. One could argue that cars create pollution. d. The point could be made that cars can cause accidents. . Pedestrians could say that banning cars will make them happy. Part Three: the Counter Some people might claim that banning cars would reduce pollution. They say this would makecy the centres cleaner. However, ... a. I still strongly think that city centres should ban cars for the reasons | have previ- ously mentioned. b. cars are so convenient, and most people want to use them all the time. c. city centres are already quite clean, and pollution is not such a big problem. d. people should try to drive less, and they could plant more trees to make the city cen- tres look better. e. the pollution might become less, since people could use public transport more. f. they also say that it can reduce accidents, which can save society much money. But 9. | definitely think that [counter-argument). Part One: the People Example a has ‘doubled’ the ‘might’. This is repetitive and somewhat strange. Just use one model verb (‘might’, ‘could’) or one *weakener’ only. Some people might say that... banning cars is/would be... The problem with Examples b and c are that the words ‘experts’ and “opponents” on their own are too general. ‘Experts’ in what? ‘Opponents’ of what? These words need specific adjectival contrast, fs specific, but you do not need fo groups of people. Just use phrases. Example d, one, As for Example e, the problem is that ‘gun advocates” is already « limited mumber of people, and so the word “some” (used to limit the number and weaken the statement) is not necessary and often not logic 1. For example, Some gun advocates could say possession of weapons is a democratic right. Actually, aff gun advocates would say this, since they ‘advocate’ the possession of guns, You need to think carefully about the logit behind specific names. This can be seen in Example f. When selecting a specific name for the ‘other side’, this name must, by definition, be against your opinion, and so this group should not need the adjectival phrase “who oppose ...”. Thus, Environmentalists: building more factories. Most career advisors would be against ae Salpee spall iol Many police officers reducing prison sentences. 87