WEEK SIX
6.2 Writing Introductions and Thesis Statements
Sample coursework assignment examination question
Examine the effects caused by widespread immigration.
Write an essay of 2,500 words (+/- 10%)
Exercise 1
Analyse the above assignment title and identify the task, content and any controlling ideas.
TASK = “examine” CONTENT = “widespread immigration”
CONTROLLING IDEAS = “effects caused by”
Sample introduction for above essay assignment
[1] The
Exercise 2 ever-increasing number of immigrants means that the effects on a host country’s
economy, society
Study the sample and culture
introduction abovehave
and become
completean theimportant
table below issue. [2] According
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United(i.e.
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by deciding of
what function
immigrants worldwide has risen from approximately
you think the sentence is performing in the introduction. 150 million in 2000 to 214 million in
2010. [3] This has had a significant impact on the global economy since, for example, an
estimated $325 billion is remitted annually to developing
FUNCTIONcountries
PERFORMED by migrant
IN populations
SENTENCE TYPE
(World Bank, 2010). [4] There has also been an increase in the diversity of countries of
INTRODUCTION
origin and
1 the reasons for
Complex migration, which has led to a greater
Highlights the importance analysis of the effects
of the topic.
immigrants have on their host country. [5] Although
Provides supporting there is a widespread
information to show belief that
2
immigration Simple of negative
has a number importance
effects, aofcloser
assignment generalof
examination topic
the - long-term
immigration.
factors shows that the effects are mostly positive. [6] In the following assignment, the
Provides supporting information to show
economic,
3 social andComplex
cultural effects of immigration will be examined to demonstrate this
importance of one aspect of the assignment
viewpoint. (162 words) topic – the effects of immigration
Provides further background information on
4 Complex topic, but also moves discussion closer to the
specific focus of the assignment task.
5 Complex Thesis statement.
Provides brief outline of structure of main
6 Simple
body.
Sample coursework assignment examination question
Examine the effects caused by widespread immigration.
Write an essay of 2,500 words (+/- 10%)
Exercise 3
The above is the same sample essay question which was seen earlier. The following are all thesis
statements which students wrote in their essay introductions for that question. Decide which of
the thesis statements is the most effective one, then explain why the others are not effective.
1. Since the 1960s, the number of immigrants to North America has increased dramatically.
INEFFECTIVE: This information does not answer the task question. The question requires the effects to
be examined, but this sentence only states that there has been an increase in
immigrants.
In addition, the information is too detailed; it only focuses on one country during a
particular time period. The question asks about “widespread” immigration, therefore,
the answer should discuss a wide variety of countries.
2. Widespread immigration has many effects.
INEFFECTIVE: This statement is too vague. It leaves too many questions in the reader’s mind; for
instance: How many effects? Are they positive or negative? What type of effects are
they? What is being affected?
In addition, apart from the addition of the word “many”, this sentence simply repeats
the task question.
3. It is possible that immigration might result in some problems and it seems that these problems
may be caused by feelings of economic inequality.
INEFFECTIVE: This statement is more effective than number [2] because it specifically mentions
“problems” and “economic inequality”, which makes the writer’s main idea more
focussed. However, it is still too vague because it also leaves the question ‘How many is
“some”?’ in the reader’s mind.
It also uses excessive amounts of hedging, namely, “…is possible that…”, “…might result
in…”, “…it seems that…”, “…may be caused by…”. Although it is very important to use
hedging when writing in academic style English, this is an example of hedging being
over-used. This excessive use of hedging makes the writer sound too hesitant and non-
committal. Additionally, it makes the writer’s stance unclear.
4. The number of illegal immigrants to the U.S. has been increasing by 275,000 per year
and this has led to an increasingly negative perception of immigrants.
INEFFECTIVE: The first section of this statement contains information which does not answer the task
question and which is also too detailed (specific data or figures should not be included in
thesis statements). Stating that the number of immigrants to a particular country is
increasing does not address the assignment question, which is to examine the effects of
widespread immigration.
Moreover, the focus is too narrow. The assignment question asked students to identify
effects caused by immigration in general, not necessarily illegal immigration.
The second half of the statement is also too narrow in focus because it only gives one
specific effect of immigration in a particular nation.
5. Continuing immigration around the world has mostly positive effects on international politics,
the global economy, and the sharing of cultures.
EFFECTIVE: This statement answers the task question. It has a specific focus – the effects are
positive. It narrows the topic – international politics, the global economy, the sharing of
cultures – but not too much. The writer’s stance is clear – these are the areas which are
affected and these effects are positive.
Exercise 4
The following are all examples of coursework assignment questions. Imagine that you have already
written the beginning of your introduction for each one, and that you are now about to add your
thesis statement. Create a thesis statement for each of the sample questions. (You may wish to
look again at Making Connections Unit 2 Reading 1 (pp. 69-71) and Reading 2 (pp.77-78)
for ideas.)
Two effective thesis statements are given below for each question. Both of them are
effective.
1. Describe the main ways in which immigration patterns in the 21 st century are different from
those in the 19th century.
SAMPLE ANSWERS: i] Three main differences can be found between 19th and 21st century immigration
patterns and these relate to changes in source nations, destination countries, and reasons
for migration.
ii] Even though current immigrant numbers are similar to those in the 19 th century, the
nations which these migrants are moving between are very different, as are their
motivations for relocating.
2. Outline the main reasons for immigration in the 21st century.
SAMPLE ANSWERS: i] Although economic factors still play a major role in the decision to immigrate, in the 21 st
century many migrants also choose to relocate for political and social reasons.
ii] This essay will explain the three main types of factor which encourage migrants to move
between countries in the 21st century; namely, economic, political, and social.
3. Explain the main risks which are faced by illegal immigrants.
SAMPLE ANSWERS: i] Immigrants who have settled in a new country illegally face three main dangers:
deportation, exploitation by employers, and the absence of legal rights.
ii] Although the benefits of living in a new country can be attractive, exploitation, the threat
of deportation, and a lack of legal rights are all risks which illegal immigrants face.
4. Describe the main difficulties faced by immigrants when attempting to settle in a new country.
SAMPLE ANSWERS: i] This essay will describe the ways in which lack of social networks, weak language skills,
and unawareness of cultural norms all create difficulties for newly arrived immigrants to a
country.
ii] A wide variety of difficulties are faced by newly arrived immigrants to any nation, but
these are mostly a result of inferior language skills, lack of knowledge of local customs,
and an absence of social networks.
5. Detail the countries which are the main targets for immigrants within Asia and explain why so
many migrants wish to relocate to them.
SAMPLE ANSWERS: i] Within Asia, it is the countries which are already far into the process of industrialisation
which are the main target for immigrants, due to both the work opportunities they present
and the perception that the standard of living in those nations is higher.
ii] The countries in Asia which already have well-developed, strong economies can offer
many work opportunities and the prospect of a higher standard of living to citizens of the
less developed nations in the region.
