Family values

Family values, sometimes referred to as familial values, or traditional or

cultural values that pertain to the family's structure, function, roles, beliefs, attitudes, and ideals.
Several well-known online dictionaries define "family values" as the following:
 "The moral and ethical principles traditionally upheld and passed on within a family, as
fidelity, honesty, truth, and faith."
 "Values especially of a traditional or conservative kind which are held to promote the sound
functioning of the family and to strengthen the fabric of society."
 "Values held to be traditionally taught or reinforced within a family, such as those of high
moral standards and discipline."
Thus, family values can be defined as the lessons that are taught to the children
regarding what is important in the family especially regarding gender roles and how the society
and parents define and expect children of different genders to behave. The values and the morals
that parents inculcate in their children differ when the region changes. E.g. in India boys should
be manly and to show that manliness, they are not expected to cry. Even among the same country
the behaviour and the nurturing pattern of the child and parents changes.
Family values are different for each family; however, values give families an outlook
on life, a way to view the world and their situations as well as an identity by helping family
members better understand their background. Values are important to families as they can
provide a sense of hope and meaning or significance to family members, especially when facing
challenges and crisis situations. Individuals can even feel a sense of despair when they aren't
living closely in line with their values. Values are important also because they provide a
foundation as a source of protection, guidance, affection, and support. Instilling family values
can protect and guide children against making hurtful decisions in the future as they teach a
sense of right and wrong. They can add to relationships and influence judgments, behaviors, and
parenting styles. Much of what we do and how we react to various situations and topics is a
result of our values.
In most of the societies the family values are based on the gender roles and it is the
predesigned gender roles that help members of the family to run the family with bound
responsibilities. Even when parents set gender equality as a goal, there may be underlying
indications of inequality. For example, when dividing up household chores, boys may be asked
to take out the garbage or perform other tasks that require strength or toughness, while girls may
be asked to fold laundry or perform duties that require neatness and care. It has been found that
fathers are firmer in their expectations for gender conformity than are mothers, and their
expectations are stronger for sons than they are for daughters. This is true in many types of
activities, including preference of toys, play styles, discipline, chores, and personal
achievements. As a result, boys tend to be particularly attuned to their father’s disapproval when
engaging in an activity that might be considered feminine, like dancing or singing.
However, family values are important to the structure and well-being of the family.
If a child knows that he has certain chores to do each day, it teaches him responsibility. It also
helps for the child to see how he specifically contributes to the family. My job is sweeping the
kitchen floor after dinner and by doing this task, I am helping to keep the house clean. We all
like having a clean house without food crumbs and dust on the floor. I am doing my part to
make everyone in the house happy. The child understands why he is doing that particular chore
and he wants to do his part.

Sample Family Values List

Although every family's list of values will be different, the following is an example of
a family values list:
 Think of the consequences before you act
 Follow the guidelines of religion
 Discuss right and wrong when modern values clash with traditional values
 Spend time together as a family, but also pursue individual interests
 Live these values, don't just talk about them
 Treat others (both inside and outside of the family) with compassion and respect
 Put your best effort toward every task
 Always continue to learn
 Learn from failures
 Celebrate successes
 Use money to do, rather than to buy
 Treat pets as family
 Remember to not always act on feelings
 Show love every day
 Sever relationships with disrespectful people
 Treat others' possessions with care and respect
 Listen since all opinions are important
 Always strive to maintain safety
 Be honest
Family values can be changed at any time, especially if the goal is to create an
environment of inclusivity. Family values can be selected by the parent or parents, or children
can also be included in making the decisions if they are old enough to participate. Because the
family values are supposed to be reflective of the family as a unit, it's a good idea to encourage
the younger family members to participate in these discussions so the values mean something to
everyone in the family, not just the adults.
Traditional values
The term “traditional values” should be defined as “Ideas that are considered to be
of great importance in life and that are, or have been, transmitted from one generation to
succeeding generations.” Traditional values are ones responsibilities towards his/her family,
spouse, parents, children, and society; it is his/her knowledge and work.
Traditions represent a critical piece of our culture. They help form the structure and
foundation of our families and our society. They remind us that we are part of a history that
defines our past, shapes who we are today and who we are likely to become. Once we ignore the
meaning of our traditions, we’re in danger of damaging the underpinning of our identity.
 Tradition contributes a sense of comfort and belonging. It brings families together and
enables people to reconnect with friends.
 Tradition reinforces values such as freedom, faith, integrity, a good education, personal
responsibility, a strong work ethic, and the value of being selfless.
 Tradition provides a forum to showcase role models and celebrate the things that really
matter in life.
 Tradition offers a chance to say “thank you” for the contribution that someone has made.
 Tradition enables us to showcase the principles of our Founding Fathers, celebrate
diversity, and unite as a country.
 Tradition serves as an avenue for creating lasting memories for our families and friends.
 Tradition offers an excellent context for meaningful pause and reflection.
Family values tend to be reflective of the culture and time period and can be seen
shifting throughout history depending on the environment. Traditional values tended to
emphasize the extended family unit when more families were living and working together. With
modernization, family values can be seen shifting to an emphasis on independence and
development versus togetherness. Amongst important internalized social and cultural values are
the general beliefs about responsibilities and behaviors deemed appropriate for women and men.
Individuals holding traditional gender role beliefs support women’s role as the caretaker at home
and in the family and men’s role is to provide financial support as the breadwinner of the family.
Research has shown that traditional gender role beliefs are more strongly endorsed by men than
women. These beliefs are linked to greater emphasis being put on men’s and husbands’/fathers’
careers than on women’s and wives/mothers’ careers. Such beliefs are then likely to be reflected
in individual women’s and men’s social identities, anticipated future social roles, and short-and
long-term goals. They are also key predictors of their aspirations and both educational and
occupational choices. Women who endorse traditional gender role beliefs related to family and
work roles are more likely to focus on family responsibilities with consequences for the choices
they make with regards to educational and occupational aspirations and attainment. For instance,
the decrease in traditional work/family related gender role beliefs within society is likely related
to increases in educational attainment for females. Female participation in higher education has
increased as the prevalence of traditional family related gender role beliefs decreased over time.
 In addition to this modern gender roles can be reflected in society and have
impacted family values. Many women were once encouraged to stay at home and raise families
while men went out into the workforce. This notion has drastically shifted as both men and
women, regardless of having children, are able to have jobs as society has normalized women in
the workforce. During the rise of the nuclear family men and women were encouraged to raise
children that reflected the perfect nuclear family. Television, ads, and consumer products
reflected this societal drive. This atmosphere put a strict adherence on gender roles and rigid
sexuality. Gender fluidity and sexual fluidity is much more accepted in society today and the
culture and family values may reflect that. Although not a perfect system, creating family values
based upon acceptance with an emphasis on learning can help create a more open and loving
familial environment where everyone feels accepted, whereas the nuclear family era certainly did
not encourage that on a large scale.
As society becomes more technologically advanced, the family values will change to
reflect that on a cultural level. When families worked together prior to the industrial revolution,
there was more shared time together and most likely extended family lived with each other or
very close by to make their work life more convenient. Post industrial revolution families had the
option to be more spread out and independent from each other thus shifting the emphasis on the
extended family system unit and welcoming in the nuclear family dynamic. Thus, as leaders, role
models, and parents, we must strive to utilize every opportunity available to us to reinforce the
values and beliefs that we hold dear. The alternative to action is taking these values for granted.
The result is that our beliefs will get so diluted, over time that our way of life will become
foreign to us. It’s like good health. We may take it for granted until we lose it. If we disregard
our values, we’ll open our eyes one day and won’t be able to recognize “our world” anymore.
The values that support the backbone of our country, our family, and our faith will have drifted
for so long that the fabric of our society will be torn.