Podcast #439
How To Believe You're Good Enough Even When You Keep Getting Rejected











In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we're coaching on… ·       The sinking mud pit of "not good enough" and how to get out of it·       How to reframe rejections and not personalize them but be powered by them·       My favorite affirmations to deepen your belief grooves that you are good enough 


THANK YOU: PATRONS



Just some special love and deep gratitude your way for how you support the show. You are a small and mighty group and each and every one of your contributions feels like a big, warm, wiggle hug. Thank you. Want to be part of the people who help keep this show going? Consider becoming a patron. Just go to https://www.patreon.com/TheConfidencePodcast


 
REVIEW OF THE WEEK



Confident and Capable, 5-Stars by Emily C :) Rewind about 9 months when my friend first introduced me to your podcast. I was an over apologizer. I would say sorry at EVERYTHING. My friends at one point would literally pinch me when I said it unnecessarily to try to get me to stop. (I didn't even have the confidence to tell them to stop). To be fair, it would work temporarily but I always reverted back. I would listen to your podcast occasionally and I really resonated with a lot of the things you were saying. It wasn't until recently when things really started to click and I started to put more effort into myself.  I've started allowing myself to take up space and have an opinion. I'm setting boundaries and speaking up for myself, and most importantly, I'm not apologizing for it. In one of your more recent episodes you talked about going back to undo your laundry or untying your toes. I now try to take that little thought with me everywhere. I say to myself "respect yourself' and set myself up for greatness. I've always loved making other people's lives easier and now I valued myself enough to make my own life easier and greater. I feel more respected and confident and I know that I am capable of hard things. This podcast has helped me achieve those things and I hope it find its way to those who need a reminder that it's okay to take up space and be confident doing it.  You've helped me change my life. I know there's still work to do but I'm confident I can do it. Thank you. 


 
THE SINKING PIT OF "NOT GOOD ENOUGH"



Not being good enough is a belief that you're flawed, mistaken, behind or constantly messing up. The overwhelm of how inferior you are to what you should be doing creates deep internal stress, personal disappointment and un-specifically identified shame, embarrassment or sadness.  It starts with a thought, and the thought snowballs more and more.Typically that first thought is a comparative one.  It's worry that we aren't what people were expecting, that we aren't worthy of being remembered, that we disappointments because others can do something better or more efficiently than us.  Always feeling like you're the one who doesn't belong or who can't keep up.Always in a state of self-pity, believing the story that everyone has it easier than you and that you have to work extra hard to just be whatever baseline of "enough" that you can manage. You're not good enough.You're not pretty enough.You're not smart enough.You're not successful enough.You're not funny enough.You're not engaging enough.You're not skinny enough.You're not doing enough.  Even though it's a desire on your part to feel good enough for yourself, the problem is that our measurement of "enough" is based and biased by external feedback and affirmation that we are seeking --- feedback that is opinion based, which means fickle, fleeting and ever-changing. I realized that this voice was growing in my life the more I tried to prove myself or look a certain way on the outside to people's opinions. The more attached I got to trying to make people impressed with me, the more behind in life, and not good enough I felt.  Podcast Suggestions:How to Be Your Own Validation...