Frostbite Dimitri's Tale

Chapter 1
I stood next to the Honda pilot waiting for Rose of course, a normal student would try to get there extra early if they were going to have a big test that could make or break their career Rose then being the opposite of normal was already twenty minutes late. God dammit, she just couldn't break out of this habit, could she? Finally, I saw her spring forth her hair all messy, like she hadn't combed it at all good maybe this would keep that creep Mason away, but probably not. She still looked like a goddess, even with her messy tangled hair; it reminded me of sex. I mentally punched for the dirty thoughts that consumed me all of a sudden. "I know, I know," she began expectantly, seeing the dismay in my visage, "Sorry I'm late." Sure Rose, not like this is one of the most important tests of your lives or anything I thought sarcastically. Besides the fact that it was freezing out and bits of snow were falling, landing in my hair getting it all wet. "Who else is going," Rose then asked curiously, looking around. Maybe her feelings had faded for me and she didn't want to be around some pedophile. I shrugged, trying to act all casual about it, "Just you and me." She smiled then, almost glowing, I suppressed the urge to smile back. "How far away is it?" she asked then. "Five hours," I answered. "Oh," she said, sounding disappointed. She probably didn't want to be stuck with me for that long. "Don't they usually come to the Academy?" asked Rose as I drove, "I mean, I'm all for the field trip, but why are we going to them." Time to drop the bomb, "Actually you're just going to him, not a them," I explained. "Since this is a special case and he's doing us the favor, we're the ones making the trip." I had had to pull some serious strings to get Guardian Arthur Schoenberg to give Rose her qualifier exam, but he assured me he'd do it for me. I knew Art would if I asked. "Who is he?" she asked. "Arthur Schoenberg," I replied like it was nothing. Trying to act like it wasn't a big deal. Rose's reaction was expected. "What!?" Rose squeaked, I tried not to crack up. She sounded so scared. Not that she didn't have some reasons to, Arthur Schoenberg was somewhat of a legend he'd slain a ton of Strigoi and his exploits were actually part of the curriculum at the Academy.

"Wasn'twasn't there anyone else available," she asked in a small voice. I was trying to hide my smile and keep this as professional as possible, but I knew Rose would do great because she just is, "You'll be fine," I tried to comfort her, "Besides, if Art approves of you, that's a great recommendation to have on your record." Rose sat silent then, trying to let it all sink in and I could tell she was beginning to worry as her eyebrow creased. "You'll be fine," I assured her, I didn't want her to worry, "The good in your record outweighs the bad." She smiled then and stared at me, "Thanks Coach," she teased and I could tell the tension was gone. "I'm here to help," I said smiling back. It was beginning to get really difficult to ignore this romantic tension that had wound up between us. "You know what would really help?" she asked. "Hmm?" I asked, curious, maybe being locked away in a room with me for a little while, I thought, I know it was dirty thoughts like that that got me in trouble. "If you turned down this crap music and put something that came out after the Berlin Wall went down," she replied deflating my ego. I laughed at that though, "Your worst class is history, yet somehow, you know everything about Eastern Europe." "Hey gotta have material for my jokes, Comrade," she replied cutely. I smiled at her and switched the dial to a country station, hoping that would satisfy her. "Hey this isn't what I had in mind," she exclaimed immediately sounding like a whiney teenager, but there was no way in hell I'd listen to some ghetto fabulous music that girls seem to dance all dirty too pelvic thrusting and all they look like they're having sex. I didn't want to give Rose any ideas about dancing like that. I tried not to laugh, "Pick. It's one or the other." She sighed, resigning, "Go back to the 1980s stuff." I changed the dial again and Rose crossed her arms over her chest I swear sometimes she acts like a whiney little cute girl. She is a young girl I reminded myself, you just seem to keep forgetting that. Arthur lived with a small Badica familyanother royal family which he protected in a small town. Rose convinced me to stop for food after insisting that she didn't think passing out from starvation would allow her to pass the exam and I had caved in. We got gas and we were both sort of giddy, it was nice to get her all for myself.

I tried to tell myself that that wasn't the only reason I had chosen Art. And it really wasn't, not entirely, just maybe I should've chosen Mark in Siberia to assess her, then I'd have her for a little while longer. I doubt the Headmistress would go for that. It was noon by the time we arrived at the Badica house, and Rose quickly jumped out of the Honda and both of our feet sunk in the snow. We both walked towards the house and I tried to get myself out of this happy guilty pleasure haze and into business Dimitri this particular exam was pivotal for Rose. I noticed Rose's foot slipping on the ice-covered sidewalk then and I instantly reached out to steady her before she got hurt. "You okay?" I asked, releasing her to my dismay. "Yeah," she looked down at the sidewalk as if blaming it for her clumsiness, "Haven't these people ever heard of salt?" she asked and something clicked. A royal would never have left the gravel like this and I stopped walking. Rose came to a halt too and I became instantly tense and alert, searching the particular surrounding around the house. I realized that the driveway was covered in snow as if no one had been here in a few days. I carefully approached the front door, looking back and making sure Rose was following my lead. I stopped when I noticed that the door wasn't even completely shut, like it had been closed in haste. I tried the door knob and realized that it was broken. Adrenaline surged my body then and I turned around and said quietly, "Rose, go wait in the car." "But wh" she began. "Go," I said harshly. Something clicked then luckily and she didn't put up a fight. She walked back and I waited until she got in the car and closed the door. Then I carefully opened the door and looked around the building. There were dead Moroi and Guardians all over. Then I saw Art dead. Damn, that man had been a legend; it must have been a bad, really bad attack. I surveyed the entire house, staying low so as to not be seen. I didn't think that there were any Strigoi still in here, but I wasn't going to take any chances either. Years as a Guardian had taught me to be extra cautious. Then I heard a noise from the patio and hid. I looked to see who it was and recognized that silk black hair, staring at the dead child's body and the bloody massacre around her. I came on silently and put my hand over her mouth so that she wouldn't alert any Strigoi if there were any still lurking around. I was furious then, I told her to stay in the fucking car. I didn't want her to see this much less if there were any Strigoi here.

"Why?" I asked, "Don't you ever listen? You'd be dead if they were still here," and I'd have to go on a killing rampage to avenge your death I added silently. Rose didn't answer, partly I think because my hand was still covering her mouth. When I was sure that she wouldn't scream, I let go. She looked at me then and whispered, "It's daytime, bad things don't happen in the day." She sounded like a little girl then vulnerable even like she wanted me reassure her of this, but I told her the harsh truth, "Bad things can happen anytime. And this didn't happen during the day. This probably happened a couple of nights ago." Rose assessed the room again then and seemed to come to the same realization I had, then stopped as she gazed at Art. I answered her mental question. "Arthur Schoenberg," I said. "He's dead," she said like she couldn't believe it. "How can he be dead? How could a Strigoi kill Arthur Schoenberg?" Again, I felt this imprinted need to protect her dammit why did I have to bring her here. I then noticed a stake in her hand and I moved my hand down and grabbed it, she flinched at my touch. I ignored it and asked, "Where did you get this?" She loosened her grip and let me take it. "Outside. In the ground," she explained. I told her, "It broke the ward." Wards were magic rings cast by Moroi which could block Strigoi from crossing, someone, a human, must have staked it because Strigoi cannot touch them. "Strigoi can't touch stakes," Rose said, "And no Moroi or dhampir would do it," as if processing the same thing I had been. "A human might," I answered. "Humans don't help Strigoi "Rose began, and then stopped as she realized the truth. I felt bad; she looked like a little girl who had just found out Santa wasn't real. This meant that humans were working with Strigoi. "This changes everything, doesn't it?" Rose asked, again reading my thoughts. "Yeah, it does," I answered her, worry filling me.

Chapter 2
I made a phone call to get some Guardians here to clean out and sort through this mess. I think Rose grew bored after a while because she quickly left and went to the car and left me and the other Guardians to examine the house further. Finally, I decided to go sit with Rose and make sure that she was ok. She was still a kid, no matter how old she seemed

sometimes and I wanted to make sure that this hadn't traumatized her for life. This whole situation would take a few hours to get cleaned up anyway. I entered the car then and sat next to Rose, neither of us speaking while we waited for the end of the assessment. I could tell she was taken aback by the whole situation, seeing so much death had definitely taken its toll. I wanted to hold her, comfort her and assure her that she was going to be okay, and that nothing like that would ever happen to her because I would always protect her. Instead, I just sat there like a complete idiot and mentally kicked myself for thinking that way teachers shouldn't feel that strongly for their students. It was inappropriate. The group of first Guardians finally finished and then I opened my car door, realized that Rose should probably take a look at how this is done and told her as I glanced over, "You should see how this is done." I didn't want Rose to see any of this again, but I wasn't supposed to be protecting her, and the only way to really protect her is to teach her to protect herself. Rose didn't look like she wanted to come, but she gathered her strength and did anyway. That's my girl. I knew every Guardian in the group, but we skipped formalities. I think they were surprised I brought Rose, but none of them commented because they knew better than to question my measures. Everyone was kneeling by the bodies, examining bloodstains and broken windows, careful not to touch any of the evidence. Everyone spoke in harsh tones, trying to not let their emotions get the best of them. I could see the eminent struggle it was to maintain control especially with someone like Art dead. Then I noticed Tamara crouched over Art's body damn, couldn't they get someone else. He was her mentor. I spoke to her trying to ease her pain that was plastered all over her gray eyes. I wonder how Rose would react if she found my body dead. Finally, she seemed to bring herself together, her face turned businesslike once again and we went on with our business. That is how it was supposed to be self-control was crucial and it was a waging battle every day for me. Suddenly, Rose blurted out, "How could they do that?" All six pairs of eyes turned to a beautiful girl. I just looked curiously at her. How do you think Rose? They came in here with a group and slaughtered them. "How could they kill him," elaborated Rose. Ahh it was Art's death that surprised her. I was actually pretty surprised too. Tamara answered then with small shrug, "The same way they kill everyone else. He's mortal, just like the rest of us."

"Yeah, but he'syou know, Arthur Schoenberg," sounding like a little girl swearing that Santa had to be real. She sounded so innocent and angelic. I had to teach her this though, tough-love. "You tell us, Rose. You've seen the house. Tell us how they did it," at least she'd learn something today, I thought. Everyone watched her and Rose looked a little nervous under the group's gazes. Finally, she gathered her courage and began, "There were four points of entry, which means at least four Strigoi. There were seven Moroiand three guardians. Too many kills. Four Strigoi couldn't have taken down that many. Six probably could if they went for the guardians first and caught them by surprise. The family would have been too panicked to fight back." "And how did they catch the guardians by surprise?" I prompted. Rose hesitated, and then came to a realization, "Because the wards were broken. In a household without wards, there'd probably be a guardian walking the yard at night. But they wouldn't have done that here." The wards had been staked, which meanthumans working with Strigoi. It was a terrifying thought. Without the wards, Guardians would need to be on watch constantly, and there just weren't enough Guardians for that sort of thing. I nodded to her approvingly, and then the group continued with their survey. I noticed writing on the bathroom mirror then, in blood that read: Poor, poor Badicas. So few left. One royal family nearly gone. Others to follow. Great not like my charge was the last Dragomir royal and the Strigoi would only have to kill her to eliminate her bloodline. In contrast, while the Badicas were a smaller royal clan, there were still at least two hundred left. That would take a lot of killing. On the other hand, the Ivashkovs wouldn't, and of course not the Dragomirs. Lissa was the only one left. I could see Rose's face processing the same thing; she stood frozen looking at the message, our brain waves crossing once more. Poor thing, she worried about Lissa so much. When we finally finished with the house and got into the car, Rose slammed the door with such force that I had to check if she had broken it. I just glanced at her in surprise is she trying to ruin the car? I know it's a Honda pilot, but I don't want to have to pay for it. "What's wrong?" I asked her. "Are you serious?" she exclaimed with an edge of calling me an idiot for asking, "How can you ask that? You were there. You saw that." "I did," I answered her, "But I'm not taking it out on the car." I don't have the money to pay for it Rose.

She glowered at me then, "I hate them. I hate them all! I wish I'd been there. I would have ripped their throats out!" The venom in her words surprised me, I was used to my naughty girl but this was almost villainous. Besides, she wouldn't have been able to do anything, and I don't know what I would do if something happened to Roza. Sometimes she acted so nave. I let her vent, and waited until speaking again, she wasn't going to like what I was going to say. "You really think that's true? You think you could have done better than Art Schoenberg after seeing what the Strigoi did in there? After seeing what Natalie did to you?" It was harsh but it was the truth and I wasn't going to lie to her when her life could depend on it one day. Rose took a deep breath, understanding in her face and said, "I'm sorry." "It's okay," I assured her, and then reached over and put my hand over hers. Dimitri, what the hell are you doing? You're going to go to jail for being a pedophile and then you will bring shame upon your family. I removed it then and started the car, "It's been a long day. For all of us." By the time we got back to the Academy, everyone was aware of the massacre. Teenagers have an amazing ability for not being able to contain any sort of news. I took one look at Rose who looked tremendously sluggish, being awake for 24 hours had taken its toll on her and I immediately ordered her to her room to get some sleep. She promised me she'd go right to bed and then I continued to make rounds. I discussed with Alberta what had happened at the Qualifier exam later. "How did Rose take all this?" she finally asked. "She did okay, it's a lot for such a young girl," I told her. "Rose is strong girl, she can handle it, and she's not that young, only a few years younger than you," she answered. You probably wouldn't say that if I told you I was in love with her, I thought. Remembering the way she reacted, and her face, I worried more. I think Alberta sensed it because she immediately said, "Dimitri, you worry far too much about Rose." "I have to," I told her. "Noyou don't. It's strange you tooit's like you're perfect for each other. You're the only one that can get some control into her."

And she's the only one that can make me lose mine, I added silently. "She looks up to you, you know," she continued. "I think she even has a crush on you. She looks at you like you're god's gift to Earth." I averted my eyes then, trying to suppress my smile and keep up the facade, "I don't think so." "Yeah well, as a friend, I'm telling you be careful with that one, Rose is a beautiful girl, it'd be anyone's temptation," she said. "Hmm," I nodded. "Well I better go," I said, this conversation was getting awkward. Finally I managed to get to my room and hopefully get some sleep tonight. It was weird; I was just one of those people that needed barely any sleep. But if I didn't sleep, my imagination ran wild. I remembered that night, when I finally held Roza, when I had her naked body pressed against to mine, felt her soft skin and what it was like to kiss them. Eventually, I drifted away from my blissful haze and into some boring sleep.

Chapter 3
I woke up a few hours later to the ring of my cell phone, I quickly answered since usually when I got calls this early they were about Rose getting into some sort of sordid situation. I was surprised to hear Tasha Ozera's voice then, "Hey Dimitri! I hope I didn't wake you." "You didn't," I lied, "How are you?" "I'm great actually. And guess what you are too because guess who you're spending the holidays with?" she asked teasingly. My hand, I thought, but answered, "I don't know, the Academy." "No you're spending it with me! I'm coming to the ski lodge where all the students will be staying and you better make time to hang out with me or else I'll kick your ass," she said gleefully. "What ski lodge?" I asked. "Didn't you hear? All the students and their families are invited to the Ski lodge which is all rented out for us, which means, you won't have to be on alert the whole time with your Guardian duties, and I'll get to actually spend time with you, not like last time," she said. "Oh wow that sounds great! I guess I over slept, I was up for over 24 hours yesterday because of the Badica incident and hadn't heard the news," I explained.

"Oh, well, you better get your ass up because I plan on seeing you as soon as I can and I'm sure you want to look your best for me," she teased. "Alright then, I better get up," I answered. "So you had been sleeping! Hah! See you soon," she added. "No I wasn't," I lied pointlessly like an immature teenage boy. "Whatever see you soon," she said before hanging up. That was astonishing. I hadn't seen Tasha Ozera in almost a year. She'd always been a great friend, a beautiful woman and a huge flirt. It was weird since she was seven years my senior, but it sort of worked in a way. She was no Rose Hathaway, but she wasn't bad to stare at either, even with the scar on her face that she received when her sister and brother-in-law, Christian's parents, attacked her to try to steal Christian and possibly turn him. I admired that much devotion, not many Moroi would ever get their hands dirty, but Tasha was exceptional. I had to meet Rose in about an hour at the gym so I quickly showered and dressed for the highlight of my day. When I reached the gym later I noticed Rose wasn't there and decided to walk around. I saw her talking no flirting with that idiot Ashford, the one she went to the dance with. Fucking bastard. Okay Dimitri she does not belong to you try to act like a sane person, the good conscious spoke to me. I tried to cool down, but it didn't mean that I couldn't stop their flirting, Rose should be practicing, not listening to carrot top basically drooling all over himself. I caught the end of their conversation, as Rose teased, "Boy, it sure is going to be sad when I make you cry. I kind of feel guilty already." My glum mood suddenly perked up can I watch! I'd love to see that, except, there was a little voice in my head telling me that she was just teasing and that she wasn't really going to hurt him unfortunately. Mason saw me behind Rose and stopped himself from saying whatever smartass remark he had planned and preceded to sweeping a stupid lame bow and saying, "Your lord and master. Catch you later, Hathaway. Start planning your ski strategies," and then disappeared, clearly afraid I was going to kick his ass. Just kidding, I was getting a bit delusional. Ahh, so she really wasn't going to hurt himdamn.

Rose turned around and followed me to the gym then. I had something special planned for today and for Rose Hathaway today would feel like Christmas. I knew it the minute she walked in and saw the practice dummies on the far wall; I could already see the wheels spinning in her head. "Sweet!" Rose exclaimed. I smiled; unable to help myself she was just so cute sometimes. I held a silver stake in my hand and I pulled a trick not completely trying to impress her by casually leaning against the wall and tossing the stake in one hand, spinning around and catching it hilt first. It actually took me a while to learn that, but it was worth the idolizing look Rose gave me then. "Please tell me I get to learn how to do that today," she said, excitement pouring out of every word. I laughed she was always jumping head first into things, "You'll be lucky if I let you hold it today," I teased. Rose looked at the stake longingly. I was ready for some whiney begging on her part, but she surprised me by taking off her backpack and coat and crossing her arms. "You want me to tell you how they work and why I should always be cautious around them," she announced. Smart-ass. She makes me sound like an old Chemistry teacher before labs. I stopped flipping the stake then ahh so this was her tactic to try to get the stake speed through my lesson. Guess she's not getting it today. "Come on," she laughed. "You don't think I know how you work by now? We've been doing this for almost three months. You always make me talk safety and responsibility before I can do anything fun." "I see," I answered, "Well, I guess you've got it all figured out. By all means, go one with the lesson. I'll just wait over here until you need me again." I tucked the stake back into the leather sheath from my belt and got comfortable against the wall. She waited to see if I was serious, but after realizing I was, she just shrugged and continued, "Silver always has powerful effects on any magical creature it can help or hurt them if you put enough power into it. These stakes are really hard-core because it takes four different Moroi to make them, and they use each of the elements during the forging. Well, except spirit. So these things are supercharged and are about the only nondecapitating weapon that can do damage to a Strigoi-but to kill them, it has to be through the heart." "Will they hurt you?" I questioned. She shook her head, "No. I mean, well, yeah, if you drive one through my heart it will, but it won't hurt me like it would a Moroi. Scratch one of them with this, and it'd hit them pretty hard but not as hard as it'd hit a Strigoi. And they won't hurt humans, either."

Rose continued with explaining things to me, and I would clarify or nod or ask a question. Finally, ten minutes before practice, I decided that she'd earned getting to touch it; I didn't want to tease her with a something and then not give it to her. "Where are you going to put this?" I asked as I took out the stake and handed it to Rose. "In the heart," she answered with unnecessary attitude, "I already told you that like a hundred times. Can I have it now?" I smiled, "Where's the heart?" She gave me the patented Rose Hathaway Are you fucking serious look and then pointed, with over dramatic emphasis to the left side of the dummy's chest. Here was the most important thing to know and she had no idea. However great I thought she had carried on throughout the lesson caved here, if she didn't know where the heart was, how was she expected to kill a Strigoi? "That's not where the heart is," I told her. "Sure it is. People put their hands over their hearts when they say the Pledge of Allegiance or sing the national anthem." I stared at her hoping she would remember her physiology class and take back her idiotic comment. "It is here?" she asked, pointing to the center of the dummy's chest. That was definitely not good enough, "I don't know, it is?" I asked. Rose wouldn't appreciate the comment but hey, tough-love she really should know this. "That's what I'm asking you!" she shouted with attitude filled in every word. Geeze was she on her period it's not my fault she doesn't know when to pay attention in class. "You shouldn't have to ask me. Don't you all have to take physiology?" I asked. "Yeah. Junior year. I was on 'vacation' remember? Can I please touch it now?" she said, letting that whiney teenager side emerge. I wasn't having any of that though. "I want you to tell me where the heart is the next time we meet. Exactly where. And I want to know what's in the way of it too." She gave me glare which I think that was supposed to be mean but honestly to me she looked like a cute kitten who thought she was a tiger. But that didn't excuse her attitude or her incompetence. Later I went to bodyguard theory Rose's period because there were some Guardians on campus today that were going to share their adventurous stories. I joined because they were always fun to hear...and keeping an eye on Rose didn't hurt either. I then noticed who was there.

Janine Hathaway. For some reason, I felt this wouldn't turn out so well. Rose and Janine seemed like too loose cannons. And they were about to share the confined space of a classroom. Fasten your seatbelts ladies and gentleman, it's about to be wild ride.

Chapter 4
I noticed Rose's glare then definitely not friendly towards her mother. Rose please don't do anything stupid I prayed. I remembered her telling me she didn't exactly have a good relationship with her but things couldn't be that bad, could they? Stan launched into an introduction which praised the Guardians for joining us. He went on about this is so unusual since Guardians can't usually stopped by because they're too busy being amazing and blah blah boring stuff that no one cared to hearI really just wanted to get to the good stuff. I was pretty into it I loved hearing stories about Guardians. Finally, the older Guardian launched into his story which immediately got me hooked it was James Bon style which was always intriguing. He described how he had been guarding a family when the youngest son went missing and they were in a Strigoi filled area. It was pretty wild and that's one aspect of guarding that sort of let me vent my wild side. When I had found out that I had been assigned to the Academy I was pretty upset since I wouldn't really be facing any adventures who knew I'd find my journey to be so wild with a girl like Rose. The next Guardian was a young guy about my age and I could tell all the girls in the room were almost melting over him. I was about to walk over and close Rose's mouth his story wasn't that fascinating I thought. She looked more like she was checking him out. Finally, it was Janine's tale which was really why most of us were here. While Janine was no Art, she was a pretty prestigious Guardian and Rose had a lot to live up to if she planned on following the footsteps of her mother with Lissa. Immediately, I could see the flirty look on Rose's face shift from the stupid Macho man to a scowl towards her mother. Rose really wore her emotions on her face sometimes. Janine's story wasn't really a story, but an epic tale and I felt myself getting captivated I have no idea how Rose couldn't. If anything I would think that she of all people would admire Janine for her reputation. But then it sort of clicked, being an awesome Guardian didn't really leave any space to be a great mom, did it? Even though I was raised in a dhampir commune, I had a great mother. I wonder how I would have felt without one that was so involved. Everyone's eyes shown with wonder as Janine went on. Well, everyone, except Rose's who was practically giving Guardian Hathaway the evil eye.

When Janine finished, dozens of hands went up for questions everyone was in awe about what she had said except of course Rose. Then, Rose raised her hand. I smell trouble. I didn't think Rose was about to hand out praise to her mother with the expression on her face. "So, Guardian Hathaway," she began, "Why didn't you guys just secure the place?" Uh oh. Rose 1, Janine 0 Janine frowned then at her question, taken a back and then collected herself and asked, "What do you mean?" You know exactly what she means, I thought. Rose just shrugged and slouched back in her desk, I think attempting a casual and conversational air which didn't work at all, she continued, "I don't know. It seems to me like you guys messed up. Why didn't you scope out the place and make sure it was clear of Strigoi in the first place? Seems like you could have saved yourself a lot of trouble." Rose 2, Janine 0 Everyone turned to Rose as if she had just questioned the Pope on something in the Bible. Janine finally answered, "If we hadn't gone through all that 'trouble,' there'd be seven more Strigoi walking the world, and those other captured Moroi would be dead or turned by now." Good comback, but I think you're feed coal into the fire, Rose could have an easy time working with that, I know I would. Still, Rose 2, Janine 1 "Yeah, yeah, I get how you guys saved the day and all that," Rose continued expectantly, "But I'm going back to the principles here. I mean, this is a theory class, right?" she said and then peeking at Stan. Hah, sure Rose, he'll back you up. He was practically kissing the floor Janine walked on. She continued, ""So I just want to figure out what went wrong in the beginning." Rose strikes again! Rose 3, Janine 1. "It's not that simple," Janine tried to defend herself, "The venue had an extremely complex layout. We went through it initially and found nothing. It's believed the Strigoi came in after the festivities had started-or that there might have been passages and hidden rooms we hadn't been aware of." More candy to Rose, I thought, "So what you're saying is that you guys either failed to detect them during your first sweep, or they broke through the 'security' you set up during the party. Seems like someone messed up either way."

Ouch, Rose 3 plus a bonus point, Janine 1. Well I think we have a winner here ladies and gentleman. Rose is probably the only one that could ever get Janine like this. "We did the best we could with an unusual situation. I can see how someone at your level might not be able to grasp the intricacies of what I'm describing, but once you've actually learned enough to go beyond theory, you'll see how different it is when you're actually out there and lives are in your hands." Hah, finally, Janine reacted with something. Rose 4, Janine 2, doesn't seem like it's going to be a complete massacre. "No doubt," Rose agreed. "Who am I to question your methods? I mean, whatever gets you the molnija marks, right?" Uh oh pushed it too far then kiddo. Now you're bluntly insulting. Stan of course kicked her out, "Miss Hathaway." Stan's deep voice rumbled through the room. "Please take your things and go wait outside for the remainder of class." Rose stared at him in bewilderment, it was amusing what did you think was going to happen, and she questioned him, "Are you serious? Since when is there anything wrong with asking questions?" "Your attitude is what's wrong." He pointed at the door. "Go." Not exactly, I wouldn't say it's get kicked out of class material, but Rose did sort of push Janine's buttons. Oh, Rose, what am I going to do with you? She reminded me so much of when I was young. Rose of course took her stuff and walked out of the class like she was a badass learn to choose your battles. I don't think she really gained anything from that. I was going to go talk to Rose after class, but it seemed her Mom had got to her before me. Damn, this is just going to get uglier. Oh well, I'd still get her after school. At practice, Rose ran in with a curled fist and slammed the dummy's chest, very slightly to the left but almost to the center, "There, the heart is there, and the sternum and ribs are in the way. Can I have the stake now?" Hah she really thought it'd be that easy. I'm no push-over, no matter how good you look. "And how do you get through the sternum and the ribs?" I asked her. She sighed, not wanted to delay any further. I should really cut her a break I thought, so we spent the most of practice going over that and I demonstrated some techniques to use the stake to the heart. Finally, I decided she deserved it and I opened my hand and offered Rose the stake. "You're giving it to me?" Rose asked incredulously.

She was so cute sometimes; I couldn't help but smile, "I can't believe you're holding back. I figured you'd have taken it and run by now." "Aren't you always teaching me to hold back?" she asked. "Not on everything," I explained. "But on some things," she retorted and I tried to ignore the double meaning edged in her words. Did that mean she still wanted me? "Of course," I answered quickly, averting my thoughts, "Know which things to run forward with-and know which to leave alone." I hoped she got the message she didn't need to make this any harder because honestly, I was always fighting for control. It wasn't easy, especially when we spent hours alone in the gym, fighting and getting all hot and sweaty. Our eyes met briefly then, and I found it ridiculously difficult to not cut across the distance separating us and kiss her. She sighed though and grabbed the stake asking, "What should I do first?" I explained the basics and then let her give a try. She did great and at the end of our practice, I nodded in approval. "Good. Very good." She looked at me then in surprise and then she lighted up like someone really important had just complimented her. "Really," she questioned. "You do it like you've been doing it for years," I explained, hoping that beautiful smile wouldn't fade from her face. As we were walking out though, we passed a dummy with red hair. Rose scowled at seeing the similarity between Janine and the dummy, "Can I stake that one next time?" "I don't think that'd be healthy," I answered while putting on my coat. "It'd be better than actually doing it to her," she grumbled. I hid my laugh. "Violence isn't the answer to your problems," I said trying to sound wise. "She's the one with the problem. And I thought the whole point of my education was that violence is the answer." "Only to those who bring it to you first," I explained. "Your mother isn't assaulting you. You two are just too much alike, that's all." Rose stopped walking like I'd deeply offended her. "I'm not anything like her! I mean...we kind of have the same eyes. But I'm a lot taller. And my hair's completely different."

"I'm not talking about your appearances, and you know it," I answered. She looked away hiding her gaze from me. "You think I'm jealous?" "Are you?" I asked, trying to get her to confront her issues. "If so, what are you jealous of exactly?" "I don't know. Maybe I'm jealous of her reputation. Maybe I'm jealous because she's put more time into her reputation than into me. I don't know," she explained. "You don't think what she did was great?" "Yes. No. I don't know. It just sounded like such a ... I don't know...like she was bragging. Like she did it for the glory." Rose grimaced. That caught me by surprise. I knew better than that and Rose should too. "You think facing down Strigoi is worth a few marks? I thought you'd learned something from the Badica house." "That's not what I-" she began. "Come on," I told her. It was time for her to meet Tasha. "What?" Okay, maybe sneaking Rose would be sort of bad, but what the hell? Tasha should be allowed to stay on campus anyway. "I want to show you something," I explained. Of course, taking her to an abandoned cabin would probably be worseright? "What is it?" "That not all marks are badges of honor."

Chapter 5
Rose was looking at me like she had no idea where I was taking her, but she followed obediently anyway. I doubt she'd really object to anything that would get her in trouble, especially if she was with me. I led Rose to the boundaries of the school where the woods were because Tasha had told me that she'd be staying in one of those cabins. We didn't speak at all as we walked and finally we reached the building. Rose then asked, "What is that?" as we approached the small cabin made out of logs.

"Old watch-post," I explained, "Guardians used to live on the edge of campus and keep watch for Strigoi." "Why don't they anymore?" Rose questioned. "We don't have enough guardians to staff it. Besides, Moroi have warded campus with enough protective magic that most don't think it's necessary to have actual people on guard," I explained. Except, now I realized that if humans staked the wards that didn't leave much protection for the Academy. Rose smiled really big for a minute and I had to wonder what the hell she was thinking. That faded when she heard voices nearby, and then her expression became puzzled, and then understanding. Who knew someone could go through so many emotions within a few seconds. Then again, I remember Viktoria, my sister, having similar reactions. Ah, Viktoria. I was crushing on a girl just as young as her. I wonder how I'd feel if Viktoria had a twenty-four year old mentor hitting on her. The thought made me sick. I was a pedophile, I realized. While Rose felt a school girl crush I was attracted and maybe in love with a girl, and she was someone I was taking advantage of. It was wrong to feel that way. I jumped out of my thoughts as we rounded the corner though, and I noticed that Christian and Lissa were with Tasha too and realized Rose must have sensed Lissa nearby. Tasha was ice-skating on a frozen pond with Christian and Lissa and I couldn't help but smile. It had been a really long time since I last saw Tasha and she was always a great friend to hang around with, she was really fun and smart and beautiful and we got along great. It was nice to actually have some company, other than Rose who was completely forbidden. With Tasha, I could actually lighten up a little. With Rose, I always had to be on guard to make sure I didn't do something that we would both regret later. Lissa grinned at seeing her best friend and exclaimed, "Rose!" Christian on the other hand glanced over less optimistically to have a third wheel tag along. Lissa then came over to Rose in an awkward stride; I guessed she wasn't much of an iceskater. "Thanks for inviting me to the party," Rose accused. Typical for a young girl no typical for her age I corrected myself. I guess we both really were at different places in life. "I figured you were busy," Lissa tried to defend. "And this is secret anyway. We aren't supposed to be here." Christian skated up to Lissa as well as Tasha who asked, "You bringing party crashers, Dimka?"

I just laughed at that, "It's impossible to keep Rose away from places she shouldn't be. She always finds them eventually." Tasha smiled at that and flipped her hair over her shoulder, and I had to admit she looked pretty good. Even with the scar on her face, she had beautiful large blue eyes and a warm smile. Tasha then introduced herself to Rose and extended a hand, "Tasha Ozera," she said. "I've heard a lot about you, Rose." Rose then looked over at Christian with a dangerous expression and I suppressed a laugh. Tasha however didn't and said, "Don't worry. It was all good." "No, it wasn't," Christian countered. Tasha then shook her head in exasperation. "Honestly, I don't know where he got such horrible social skills. He didn't learn them from me." "What are you guys doing out here?" asked Rose. "I wanted to spend some time with these two," explained Tasha. "But I don't really like hanging around the school itself. They aren't always hospitable...." I knew that too. People were always prejudicing against Tasha because she was Lucas Ozera's sister, Christian's father, and he and his wife had turned Strigoi on purpose. Even though she had fought them and gotten injured in the process, it didn't matter and people still judged her. "Because ... because of what happened ..." Rose asked. Tasha shrugged, "That's the way it is. But let's not stand out here, not when we can build a fire inside." We went inside the tiny cabin and then the five of us sat down by the fireplace. Tasha and I spent most of the time talking to each other; we had a lot of catching up to do. Huddling around the heat, Tasha produced a bag of marshmallows that we cooked over the flames. It was easy with her, I didn't have to be serious the whole time, and I could just be myself. Finally, Rose joined in and I was pretty surprised she'd exercised that much self-control and not opened her mouth for so long, "So are you coming on the ski trip?" Tasha nodded, "I haven't been skiing in ages. No time. Been saving all my vacation for this." "Vacation?" asked Rose incredulously. "Do you have...a job?" "Sadly, yes," Tasha said, though she didn't actually sound very sad about it. "I teach martial arts classes." Rose stared in astonishment; I guess the thought of a Moroi royal working to her was unfathomable. But that was just Tasha. Even harsher was the fact that it was in Martial arts, most Moroi were pretty weak. They always needed strong Dhampirs to protect them.

"What do you think, Rose?" Christian teased. "Think you could take her?" "Hard to say," Rose said. She was actually trying to be nice. I knew Rose would wreck her though if they ever got in a cat fight. I really couldn't imagine that happening though, unless. Well, no it wouldn't happen, I would never allow it. Tasha crooked a grin. "You're being modest. I've seen what you guys can do. This is just a hobby I picked up." I chuckled, while Rose could definitely kick ass that was only because she was a good fighter. Tasha could put up a fight if I remember correctly, "Now you're being modest. You could teach half the classes around here." "Not likely," she said. "It'd be pretty embarrassing to be beaten up by a bunch of teenagers." "I don't think that'd happen," I said. "I seem to remember you doing some damage to Neil Szelsky." Tasha rolled her eyes at me, "Throwing my drink in his face wasn't actually damage-unless you consider the damage it did to his suit. And we all know how he is about his clothes." We both laughed at that and it reminded me of when I was younger when I didn't have to be so serious all the time. Back then, I could have dated Rose if we were the same age of course. "Did you start learning to fight before or after that happened to your face?" Rose interrupted. There went all her self-control. "Rose!" hissed Lissa. Tasha didn't get uncomfortable though, she was probably glad Rose was staring her flat in the face and actually noticing instead of pretending like the scar wasn't there. "After," Tasha said, "How much do you know?" Christian interceded, "The basics." Tasha nodded, "I knew ... I knew what Lucas and Moira had become, but that still didn't prepare me. Mentally, physically, or emotionally. I think if I had to live through it again, I still wouldn't be ready. But after that night, I looked at myself- figuratively-and realized how defenseless I was. I'd spent my whole life expecting guardians to protect me and take care of me. And that's not to say the guardians aren't capable. Like I said, you could probably take me in a fight. But they-Lucas

and Moira-cut down our two guardians before we realized what had happened. I stalled them from taking Christian- but just barely. If the others hadn't shown up, I'd be dead, and he'd-" She stopped, frowned, and kept going. "I decided that I didn't want to die that way, not without putting up a real fight and doing everything I could to protect myself and thoseI love. So I learned all sorts of self-defense. And after a while, I didn't really, uh, fit in so well with high society around here. So I moved to Minneapolis and made a living from teaching others." I knew Tasha had moved there and integrated herself with humans, keeping away from other Moroi. I also knew that she exercised magic as a defense, it was a crime in the Moroi world, but I didn't object. It could help against a Strigoi so why shouldn't she use it? Silence fell then, but Tasha being Tasha lightened up the mood by telling funny stories. I liked her even though she was royal because she wasn't stuck up. And honestly, part of the reason I hated Moroi royal men was there arrogance in thinking that they were better than Dhampirs. I actually knew a lot of the people she spoke of and chimed in every once in a while with a small detail. Finally, Tasha peeked at her watch and asked, "Where's the best place a girl can go shopping around here?" she asked. Lissa and Rose exchanged looks and answered in unison, "Missoula." Girls and their shopping, I'll never understand it. Tasha sighed at that, "That's a couple hours away, but if I leave soon, I can probably still get in some time before the stores close. I'm hopelessly behind in Christmas shopping." Rose groaned, "I'd kill to go shopping." "Me too," said Lissa. "Maybe we could sneak along...." Rose asked casting me a hopeful look. I had to turn away from her pleading eyes and said "No," immediately. Rose sighed at that but didn't argue fortunately. Tasha yawned again. "I'll have to grab some coffee, so I don't sleep on the drive in." "Can't one of your guardians drive for you?" asked Rose. Tasha shook her head. "I don't have any." "Don't have any ..." Rose frowned. "You don't have any guardians?" "Nope," Tasha answered.

Rose shot up with a typical reaction, "But that's not possible! You're royal. You should have at least one. Two, really." Guardians were distributed among Moroi in a cryptic, micromanaged way by the Guardian Council. It was kind of an unfair system, considering the ratio of guardians to Moroi. Non-royals tended to get them by a lottery system. Royals always got them. High-ranking royals often got more than one, but even the lowest-ranking member of royalty wouldn't have been without one. "The Ozeras aren't exactly first in line when guardians get assigned," said Christian bitterly. "Ever since...my parents died...there's kind of been a shortage." Rose grew impassioned, "But that's not fair. They can't punish you for what your parents did." "It's not punishment, Rose," Tasha said calmly, "It's just...a rearranging of priorities." Rose argued, "They're leaving you defenseless. You can't go out there by yourself!" "I'm not defenseless, Rose. I've told you that. And if I really wanted a guardian, I could make a nuisance of myself, but it's a lot of hassle. I'm fine for now." I glanced over at her, "You want me to go with you?" "And keep you up all night?" Tasha shook her head. "I wouldn't do that to you, Dimka." "He doesn't mind," interceded Rose. I couldn't help but smile, Rose thought she could speak for me. I agreed though, "I really don't." It's not like I get much sleep anyway. Tasha agreed then, "All right. But we should probably go soon." Our party then dispersed with the Moroi's going one way and Rose and I another. Tasha and I made plans to meet in half an hour. "So what do you think of her?" I asked when we were alone. "I like her. She's cool. And I get what you mean about the marks," Rose answered. "Oh?" She nodded, "She didn't do what she did for glory. She did it because she had to. Just like...just like my mom did. The marks don't matter. Molnijas or scars." I was impressed, "You're a fast learner."

Rose lit up then like when I always complimented her. She was so irresistible sometimes. Finally she asked, "Why does she call you Dimka?" I laughed softly. "It's a nickname for Dimitri." "That doesn't make any sense. It doesn't sound anything like Dimitri. You should be called, I don't know, Dimi or something," Rose argued. "That's not how it works in Russian," I explained. "Russian's weird," Rose said. "So is English," I argued. She gave me a sly look, "If you'd teach me to swear in Russian, I might have a new appreciation for it." Hah, yeah right. "You swear too much already." "I just want to express myself," Rose argued trying to sound all innocent. "Oh, Roza..." I sighed, "You express yourself more than anyone else I know." Rose smiled at that and walked on a bit without saying anything else. It was easy like this and honest to God, I treasured these moments when we just got to be around each other. They were the highlight of my day. Finally, Rose broke the silence, I knew she couldn't last very long, "You know, there's something funny about Tasha's scars." "What's that?" I asked. "The scars...they mess up her face. I mean, it's obvious she used to be really pretty. But even with the scars now ... I don't know. She's pretty in a different way. It's like...like they're part of her. They complete her." I didn't say anything but gave her a sidelong glance. She got that too I felt the same way. Our eyes met then and for a brief moment, I saw the attraction. I loved that Rose sort of got those things the same way I got them. Then I pushed away those feelings and felt pride and approval instead, that was more appropriate, and told her "You're a fast learner, Roza." Eventually, I left her at her dorms and came to my room to grab my jacket and my wallet to go meet Tasha. I was on the way to tell Alberta where I was going when I knocked into Janine.

I nodded towards her and kept walking but she stopped me, "Guardian Belikov?" "Yes Guardian Hathaway?" "I just wanted to thank you for taking Rose under your wing. I don't know what she would've done without you. I know how much of a hassle she can be," she said. "She's no hassle. Well, at least not most the time. I actually really enjoy working with her, she's really great. She'll make a great Guardian someday," I told her. Someone should. "Are you sure we are talking about my daughter?" she asked. "Yes," I answered. "You're the first teacher to ever tell me good things about her," she said. "Oh, well, you sort of just have to know how to deal with her, that's all," I explained. "Yes well, I was wondering if I could spend some time with her tomorrow morning. I know that you guys have practice together and I was hoping that I could coach her tomorrow," she asked. Damn, my favorite time of the day, "Sure." I told her, wasn't like I really had a choice. "That actually works out great since I'll be driving Tasha Ozera and probably be up most of the night." "Oh, okay then. Great," she nodded stiffly and walked away. Honestly, I couldn't picture Rose ever being that serious. After that I met Alberta, told her where I was going and then went to meet Tasha. I hoped this shopping trip would be okay. I hated shopping, but Tasha was fun and she had an ability to make even the most boring things fun.

Chapter 6
"Dimka!" I heard a soft voice call. I turned around to find Tasha in a tight sweater dress. She looked really good. Her black hair was down and she smiled warmly. "There you are, ready to go?" I asked. "Yup," she said, "You got the keys?" "Yes," I answered. "Okay, aren't you going to hand them over?" she asked. "I think its better that I drive, I won't fall asleep on the wheel," I joked.

"We should split the drive. I want you to come as my friend, not because it's your duty or any of those other stupid things you tend to say," she answered. "It is my duty," I interjected. "So that's the only reason why you're here? It's not because you actually wanted to hang out with me. I'm hurt," she sighed sarcastically. "Of course not," I answered. "But as a friend, I cherish both your life and mine enough that I'll drive." "Fine, but don't treat me like I can't defend myself, especially after you went on about how good my karate skills are. And don't act like secret service at the mall either," she added. I laughed, "Okay. Honestly, it's just the proper thing to do. But how about we get in the car and stop freezing." "Sounds like a date," she teased. "Great," and a few minutes later we were on our way. The car covered most of the worst sunlight with tinted windows. It was technically night for the vampire world, but for us Dhampirs, our bodies were made for the sun and I really missed it. "So how are things at the Academy?" asked Tasha curiously. "They're good," I answered watching the road. "You and Rose seem pretty good together, I can tell she admires you a lot," she commented. "Yeah, she keeps me pretty occupied," I said. "She seems like a good kid, it's great that you took her under your wing," Tasha answered. "Yeah, well, I couldn't let her go to waste," I answered. Feeling like I didn't really want to talk about Rose since I had to sort of leave a majority of the information out, I changed the subject. "So how about you?" I asked. "Well not much there, just teaching classes and trying to get by away from the Moroi world," Tasha answered. "Any dating?" I asked. "Nothing serious," Tasha noted, "Men just seem to bore me." "How come?" I questioned. "They sort of can't keep up, and well, I guess I'm waiting for the right person," she smiled while she looked at me. It was nice; it'd been a while since things were easy like this,

especially with another woman. Tasha seemed sort of interested in me, and that was okay because it was fine to feel that way. Even if her black hair reminded me of Rose's. We drove the rest of the way in giggles, talking about our old memories and reminiscing. I felt sort of like a kid again. We finally arrived at the mall, "Down the gates of hell," I joked as we entered the doors. "Why do men hate shopping so much?" Tasha asked. "I don't know, because it's boring as hell. I guess men are hunters and women are gatherers. Men go in quickly to find what they want, while women take their time and gather things. It's not our fault, it's imprinted in our genes," I joked. "Okay Darwin," she teased, "I hope you're ready for a big shopping trip." I groaned. Tasha spent the whole night, or rather, day shopping. She wanted to go to every store and get an endless supply of presents. Who needed that many things anyway? When she saw this tight sweater dress though, she got my attention for other than carrying all her bags while I secretly looked around for Strigoi. "Do you think Rose would like this dress?" Tasha asked. It looked like it'd be really clingy, exposing all her curves and her Dhampir feminine body. Honestly, I think I'd like that dress way too much for Rose. Then I thought about if she wore it, Mason would probably have a heart-attack. "Nah, don't you think it's a little to revealing?" I asked. "It covers everything," she noted, "Besides, Rose was made for this dress. I wish I had her body, she's really voluptuous and thin." "Yeah that's what worries me, enough guys already chase her," I growled. "You're a little over-protective aren't you?" she teased. "I just don't want anyone to take advantage of her," I commented. I silently added that it made me extremely jealous when they did. "Well," she said walking over to me, "You did teach her to defend herself, right?" "Yes," I answered. "So she's a tough kid, isn't she?" "Yes." "So what are you worried about, she can probably beat up any Moroi boy," she answered.

"Yeah, well, we shouldn't provoke that situation," I tried to logic. "You're turning into an old man, I'm getting her the dress get over it," she said toughly. "Fine," I answered, "But I'm stronger than you," I don't know why I felt the need to assert my dominance. Stupid testosterone. Probably because I'd just lost a battle. "Now you're five," she called out as she continued looking. "You cause that reaction in me," I called back. "Hmm, I wonder what other reaction I could stir?" she said while looking at the clothes and then sneaking a peak at me. Was she flirting with me? Eventually though, she told me to go away. "Tasha, I can't leave you alone. You could be murdered or taken by Strigoi and it'd all be my fault," I told her. "Oh my gosh Dimka, lighten up. Besides I have to get you your Christmas present, so run away to the food court like a normal man or I'll make you," she said trying to sound fierce. "Is that a threat?" I joked looking at her, my body looming over her since I was well over a foot taller than her. "That's a promise!" she said, bringing her chin up in defiance. "Fine, five minutes, and I'll be waiting outside the store," I compromised. "No you'll look," she said. "I won't, I promise," I told her. "Promise?" she asked. "Yes," I answered. "Fine, but if I catch you looking, you're going to get your ass handed to you, and it'll be nothing like the time Viktoria and I put make-up on you," she commented. I had tried to erase that memory, "I was five and you were twelve." "So?" "Well, looks like the odds are little different now," I joked. "Hmm, I don't think so. All of you men still have one weak spot," she noted. "Ouch, fine, well I better wait outside then," I said. And I did. Tasha was fun and she didn't mind putting me in my place. She was really mature too, in a way; I didn't have to deal

with things Rose would care about. Rose was way more superficial, and she lived in the world of rumors and dances, while Tasha lived in the real world. We could relate so much more, even if she was seven years older than me. I allowed myself another feeling. If I was Tasha's age, and Rose was mine, well then, the age difference wouldn't be so big then. But now, I reminded myself, it's huge, and tried to no avail to think about something else. When Tasha came out of the store though, I was able to, sort of. It was like I could put Rose in the back of my mind then. "So I've been thinking," Tasha began. "What?" I asked, straight to the point. "Well, maybe I could use a Guardian. I wouldn't mind someone carrying all the shopping bags." "Thanks," I joked. "Can you recommend anyone?" she asked. "I probably could if I thought about it," I answered. "Well how about you?" she asked. "I'm assigned to the Princess," I told her flatly. "Yes but, if we both asked, and I made a hassle, they would switch," she answered. "I mean, I hate to take you away from Lissa, but she has Rose, which is sort of like having half or you." The last part of her statement took new meaning, because if I was away from Rose, it'd be like ripping half of me away. Except, if I was away from Rose, then maybe we could get over each other, and fulfill our duties. I think Tasha sensed the tension in me because she said, "Dimka, you don't have to answer me now. Just, think about it. We get along great and I could use a man in my life. Maybe after the ski trip, you could give me an answer," she said. "Okay," I said. She had no idea how huge of a decision it really was. "So how about the food court?" she asked.

"Sounds great, I'm starving," I answered and we moved on, the mood turning cheerful once more and no longer pressing. The rest of the day was spent with more shopping, more joking around and more little flirty remarks. It was fun I hadn't done anything like this in a very long time. But underneath it all, I realized I had to make a huge decision. Could I really leave Rose? I mean, who would train her? Who would defend her? Who would protect her? But at the same time, we both needed to fulfill our duties and this opportunity presented itself for that. But could I really walk away from the one girl I was in love with? Could I give her up, for her own good? When I thought of it that way, leaving Rose seemed like the logical thing to do. A no brainer. But I really had to think about what was better for Rose. Which good outweighed the bad and make my decision. And also, Tasha expected a lot from me. I didn't want to disappoint her. I could tell that she was interested and I wasn't too sure how I felt about that either. I loved being around her, she was fun and smart and beautiful. I could have a future with her. Have kids with her, something I thought would never be possible. But what about Rose? Eventually, we made it back to the car when it was nightfall again. "I'll drive," started Tasha. "Tasha, I don't even think you can keep an eye open," I told her. "No way, I have to protect you." "Dimka, you've probably been awake longer than I have," she noted. "Yeah, but I'm used to it. Besides, I don't have practice with Rose in the morning. Janine Hathaway is going to take over so I just have to sleep." "Oh, well I'm ready to crash too," Tasha noted. "Which is why I'm driving," I told her. She gave me an evil look, but I didn't try to argue her point any further. I think she realized that I was right.

She actually slept the rest of the way and when we finally got to the Academy I leaned over. "Tasha?" I asked. She opened her eyes then, our faces just a few inches apart. "Are we here already?" she asked. "Yes," I answered. "Okay," she answered and began stretching her arms and getting out of the car. I took the bags from the back seat and followed. I walked her to the cabin which was a good two miles from where we parked. The cold air woke me up completely. "I had a lot of fun tonight," noted Tasha. "Yes me too," I commented. "You had fun shopping! I'll tell all the novices. They'll never fear you again!" she teased. "You better not, I have to keep my kick ass reputation," I teased. "Then, you better hang out with me during the break, or I'll black mail you," she joked. "Sure, I'd love to do that," I answered. We walked in silence then and when we were at the door she asked, "Do you want to come in?" "I think we both should go to sleep," I told her. "Yeah, but, I don't want you to have to walk two miles to get there," Tasha noted. I liked Tasha, but I definitely wasn't ready for that. Not when I thought about Rose all the time. It wasn't fair to Tasha. She deserved someone that really cared about her. "It's okay," I started, "I better head back because I have to give back the keys," I lied. "Oh right," she answered sounding a little disappointed. "Well, see you soon." "Yup." "Oh and Dimka," she began. "Yes?"

"Don't forget about what I said," she said. And then came over and hugged me. "Goodnight," I answered with a bow and walked away. I then walked back to the Guardian quarters, contemplating my current predicament. Finally when I got to my room though, I crashed. I'd been awake for almost two days now and I was ready for some shut eye. When I woke up later I went to give Alberta the keys. "Hey, just wanted to give you these back," I said as I put them on the desk. "Oh, hey there you are. You should sit down for a minute," Alberta answered. I quickly took a seat. "So Rose got into some trouble this morning," she began. "What the hell did she do?" I asked. Dammit Rose, I can't leave you for two minutes. "Well, nothing like that, she just got injured during her before school practice with Guardian Hathaway," she began. I looked up nervously then, I felt my stomach drop, "Is she okay?" "She's fine, she just got knocked out cold," began Alberta. "Where is she?" I asked while getting up. "She's awake now, talking to Lissa," Alberta answered. I nodded and started walking, "Dimitri, wait!" I turned around. "Where are you going?" asked Alberta curiously. "To make sure Rose is all right. Why didn't anyone wake me?" I asked. "She's fine and because you were awake for way too long. Relax, jeeze you'd think you heard that you're daughter was in some kind of motor accident. You're shaking," Alberta noted. "Well, yeah. Because Rose was hurt and no one had the decency to alert me," I answered venomously. "What's wrong with you," asked Alberta eyeing me curiously. I realized then, that I was being rude. I had lost my control.

"I'm sorry," I answered. "It's okay," she said. "She's fine, really." "Okay," I said, "I just worry." "Yes, you act like she's your charge," Alberta answered. There it was again, Rose always came first. How could I protect Lissa if Rose always came first? "She was taken out of practice all day and I assume she'll be asleep soon. Just wait until tomorrow; you probably don't want to wake her. She was looking pretty down all day." "Right," I answered and nodded. "Sorry for over-reacting." "It's okay," answered Alberta, "I know how much you care about her," she said looking at me. There seemed to be an underlying double meaning in her tone. Did she know? "Well, I'm going to grab a bite to eat. Let me know if you need me," I told her. "Of course," answered Alberta. I walked out then. As I was walking to the cafeteria though, I crossed paths with Janine Hathaway. "Guardian Belikov," she said, "May I speak to you?" "Yes of course," I answered. She looked worried. "I'm afraid I hurt Rose pretty bad today." "Yes I heard." "I don't think it's going to help improve our relationship," commented Janine. "Yes, well, these sort of things happen," I answered. "Yes, well, I know she looks up to you. She listens to you. Maybe you could talk to her. Tell her I didn't mean to hurt her, I really wish that she didn't hate me so much. I'll be at the ski lodge and I was hoping to be able to spend some time with my daughter. She probably won't want to around me very much now though," Janine confessed. "Yes, I'll speak with her. I'll let her know it was an accident," I answered. "Thanks, I'm really worried." "I'll see what I can do," I nodded and walked away.

Agreeing to this whole thing had been a mistake. I should have just gone to practice with Rose. If I wasn't out there shopping with Tasha, Rose wouldn't have gotten hurt. I hadn't been able to protect her and that bothered me for the rest of the night. It was pretty hard to sleep after that. One since I had woken up just a few hours ago and two because I wanted desperately to go to Rose's room and make sure she was okay. I wanted to comfort her. It was probably hard that her mother had been the one to hurt her. They already had a bad relationship and I felt bad because of that. Rose resented her mother because Janine had never been around; but truthfully, her mother had simply fulfilled her duty. Rose needed to understand that. I realized I'd just have to wait until tomorrow's practice.

Chapter 7
I walked to the gym eagerly this morning, surprised to actually see that Rose beat me there. She was always late; I guess Janine Hathaway did hit her really hard. Then I caught sight of that carrot colored hair, probably a gathering before school, I thought while clenching my fist. Mason just wouldn't leave Rose alone would he, a silent thought occurred to me then, or maybe she doesn't want to be left alone, maybe she doesn't like you anymore. Mason saw me coming and swept one of those moronic smiles with a bow, and as I drew closer Rose's leisurely attitude was replaced with a more apprehensive one. I noticed her going out of her way to avert her face. Had she gotten hit there? It's not like she wouldn't look completely stunning either way, but I didn't press the matter. Her hair was down then too but I guess that was part of her plan not to show me where she was hurt. Did that mean she still liked me? Was attracted to me? Dammit, I had to stop thinking like that. Besides, it was serious time; I couldn't allow my feelings to interfere with our practices. We both went to the practice room with the dummies and I told Rose to simply practice the maneuvers she had learned two days ago. I could tell she was fighting with an almost blind fury, but I tried to ignore it and tried not to push her just yet. Some physical drain wouldn't hurt before I approached the matter. I only made a few critiques on the techniques Rose was using. Finally, I realized the hair has to go. How can she even see with it all over her face?

"Your hairs in the way, not only are you blocking your peripheral vision, you're running the risk of letting your enemy grab a hand-hold," I commented. "If I'm actually in a fight, I'll wear it up," Rose answered crudely as she staked the dummy and obviously not giving in. "I'm just wearing it down today, that's all." I didn't really like the fact that she was ignoring my orders, "Rose," I warned. She ignored me and plunged again. Dammit, "Rose, stop!" I said sharply. She backed away from the dummy then and I could hear her labored breathing. Her back hit the wall then, and realizing she had absolutely no where to go, she dropped her face to the ground. "Look at me," I ordered as I came up to her. "Dimitri-" she began. "Look at me," I said, the order coming out clearly. She listened, knowing better than to just ignore me. Her hair fell down coming down on some of her face, but it wasn't enough to hide this. It was a horrible hit, way worse than I had thought. For a small moment, I contemplated killing Janine Hathaway. How the hell do you screw up this bad, way above the neck? I mean, you're supposed to be a legend. And look at what you did to my fucking student? What the hell? Then, I came to my senses. Dimitri, you're an adult, act like it. I went to brush the hair out of Rose's face, but stopped myself. I shouldn't be touching her like that. I wanted to desperately. I wanted to grab her, comfort her, hold her in my arms and tell her everything was going to be okay and that I would protect her. But I pushed those feelings aside, it wasn't right to feel that way. "Does it hurt?" I asked. "No," she lied. "It doesn't look so bad," I tried to comfort her; "It'll heal." I tried to make myself believe those same words, because right now, all I wanted was go attack Janine Hathaway. "I hate her," Rose said, and I was astonished to hear so much venom in those words. That was her mother; she shouldn't feel like that about her. "No you don't," I said gently. "I do," Rose reasserted.

Here goes nothing, trying to mend Rose and her mother's relationship. "You don't have time to hate anyone, not in our profession, you should make peace with her," I counseled. "Make peace with her? After she gave me a black eye on purpose! Why am I the only one who sees how crazy that is?" Rose fumed outraged. "She absolutely did not do it on purpose," I said, voice hard. "No matter how much you resent her, you have to believe that. She wouldn't do that, and anyway, I saw her later that day. She was worried about you." "Probably more worried someone will bring her up on child abuse charges," Rose grumbled. "Don't you think this is the time of year for forgiveness?"I asked. Rose sighed loudly. "This isn't a Christmas special! This is my life. In the real world, miracles and goodness just don't happen." I was trying to help her but damn she wasn't making it easy. And honestly, I think she was getting mad at me for trying. I eyed her calmly and said, "In the real world, you can make your own miracles." "Okay, can you just stop this for once?" Rose demanded, hands on my hips. "Stop what?" I questioned. "The whole profound Zen crap thing. You don't talk to me like a real person. Everything you say is just some wise, life-lesson nonsense. You really do sound like a Christmas special." She was practically shouting at me," I swear, sometimes it's just like you want to hear yourself talk! And I know you're not always this way. You were perfectly normal when you talked to Tasha. But with me? You're just going through the motions. You don't care about me. You're just stuck in your stupid mentor role." "I don't care about you?" I asked shocked. Everything I do is for you Rose, I added silently. Now I was fuming. What she said hurt, especially when I was only trying to help her and she was mocking my methods. "No." Rose continued, "I'm another student to you. You just go on and on with your stupid life lessons so that-" she said, jabbing my chest with her little finger. I lost my control. I grabbed that finger then, extremely frustrated. All I cared about was Rose; she was everything in my life. I hadn't said yes to a great opportunity because of her, and now she was attacking me because of her own problems because I was trying to help.

"Don't tell me what I'm feeling," I growled. "That's it, isn't it?" Rose asked. "What?" I asked sharply, still worked up. "You're always fighting for control. You're the same as me." "No," I argued, "I've learned my control." No," Rose affirmed, "You haven't. You put on a good face, and most of the time you do stay in control. But sometimes you can't. And sometimes ..." she leaned forward, whispering seductively in my ear, "Sometimes you don't want to." "Rose..." I begged. My breathing became labored and my heart sped up. My anger had released itself in another form. Now all I wanted to do was touch her. Before I realized what was happening, Rose kissed me. I should've pulled away, but I couldn't. I kissed her back. I had longed for this for such a long time, and now I could feel her. I pinned her body between the wall and me, pulling her close. And lord, all I wanted to do was make love to her right here in this perfect moment. The kiss was filled with intensity, anger, passion and release. I kept holding her hand, but my other snaked up and slid in her hair. Finally though, and with great difficulty, I pulled away. I stepped back, practically shaking. Where was my control? She knew too she knew I fought for mine. And that we were the same. And honestly, that scared the shit out of me. She could see right through me. "Do not do that again," I said stiffly after an eternity. "Don't kiss me back then," she retorted. What a bitch. I stared at her, trying to compose myself for a few moments before I cursed her out, finally I said,"I don't give 'Zen lessons' to hear myself talk. I don't give them because you're another student. I'm doing this to teach you control." "You're doing a great job," Rose said bitterly. Calm down Dimitri, don't do anything stupid. I closed my eyes, and it took everything in me to not scream at her just then. I breathed, exhaled and cursed in Russian. The best thing I could do right now was leave, and without another word, I left.

Chapter 8
After that I sent a message to Rose saying that I'd cancel our next two sessions due to the rapidly approaching plans to leave campus. I was a coward, I know, but I couldn't face her. Not after what had happened. I explained that taking a break from practice was the logical thing to do since classes were about to end anyway but I was sure that Rose didn't buy into the lie. She could usually see right through me, and that, scared the shit out of me. I didn't want to have to be so open with anyone. It made me feel I don't know, I just didn't want to feel that way. I was supposed to be strong and protect everyone, not this. Besides, Rose and I had kissed. I should have pushed her away, but I was a coward and she called me on it. She knew that I was weak and I don't know. I just couldn't deal with it anymore. It was so frustrating. I was around Rose, I wanted her, but I couldn't have her. I could always watch from a distance and it was tormenting me. God I had wanted that kiss. But it was wrong; I was taking advantage of Roza. I was a damn pedophile. It was for all the wrong reasons too. Rose didn't kiss me because she loved me, or because we were having a happy close moment and we got carried away. She simply kissed me to prove a point that she could. She knew why we couldn't be together. We'd talked about it. She understood, and she had agreed. But it wasn't enough. If we both couldn't come to terms with that, could we really focus on protecting the Princess in less than a year? Especially since we wouldn't have the constraints the Academy had provided. We'd cohabitate in a place. A small place, I hoped. Then I mentally punched myself for it. What if the Princess was killed because we both were too distracted by each other? And if Strigoi were to attack, and I had to make a choice to save one or the other, who would I choose? I already knew the answer to that unfortunately. It wasn't the right one. I couldn't let anything happen to Rose though. I just couldn't, and if I had to choose between her life or someone else's, I'd choose her. So where did that leave me? Maybe the Tasha proposal wasn't so bad after all. I could be her Guardian, and then maybe her husband and she and I could even have children. It'd be a whole different life than what I had ever asked for.

More than I had ever expected. It was a great opportunity. But could I really walk away? Maybe leaving with Tasha could make me forget Rose, and for Rose to forget me. I had to get ready though and stop contemplating my problems, for I had to meet Tasha for a Christmas gathering. I decided that I would try with Tasha, that I'd give us a chance and try to push Roza out of my head as best as I could. I met Tasha in elegant parlor later in the Academy's guest headquarters. I noticed then as I sat next to Tasha that people either stared at her secretly or they tried to go out of their way to avoid her. All because of that damn scar. I felt bad because she really was a great person and they were all superficial idiots. Sometimes, Tasha would call people out on this. That was just her. Other times, and most the time, she didn't let it bother her. Like today, since she had chosen to stay out of the other Royals' way and simply enjoy this small, private party of those who didn't shun her, she ignored it. She was the bigger person. I had actually dressed up for the gathering. Well, dressed up for someone like me. I'd tied my hair behind my neck and wore my usual jeans however with a black sweater. Usually, I was just about ready to spring into battle. I didn't exactly like wasting time looking nice when I had to be on alert every minute. Rose was there too, along with carrot boy Mason, Christian and Lissa. I tried to avoid Rose, in a way, by not really making any conversation and just saying hi in a very distant matter. I wasn't rude exactly, but to onside onlooker, you'd swear we didn't know each other until now. With Tasha though, I talked and joked and it was fun. We spoke of Mark who was a good friend of mine that was actually a distant cousin of Tasha's family and that it was how we met. "Five?" I asked in surprise as we discussed Mark's children."I hadn't heard that." Tasha nodded. "It's insane. I swear, I don't think his wife's had more than six months off between kids. She's short, too- so she just gets wider and wider." "When I first met him, he swore he didn't even want kids," I told Tasha. Her eyes widened excitedly. "I know! I can't believe it. You should see him now. He just melts around them. I can't even understand him half the time. I swear, he speaks more baby talk than English."

I smiled at that trying to picture it; it'd been a while since I had seen him. "Well...children do that to people." "I can't imagine it happening to you," Tasha laughed. "You're always so stoic. Of course ... I suppose you'd be doing baby talk in Russian, so no one would ever know." We both laughed at that, it could be my scapegoat. Not that I had ever considered having children. Most Dhampir men didn't since we could only reproduce with other Moroi and most Moroi women weren't exactly willing to have children with us. Most Dhampirs were actually made with Dhampir women and Moroi men, while the Dhampir men usually just became Guardians. But now, with Tasha, I could actually have children. I knew Rose had noticed that I had sort of been ignoring her, but I still listened to her conversation from a distance. I watched as Mason and her joked, and I had to admit, he was probably good for her even if their relationship filled me with jealousy. If I left, Rose could forget about me and have a normal relationship with a boy her age. He wasn't a Moroi, he wasn't going to try to take advantage of her, and he was simply just a nice guy. Finally though, Rose was pulled away by Lissa to exchange a Christmas present. I saw Roza open the box and stare inside. "What the ..." she asked lifting it out. I glanced over to see what it was and realized it was a chotki which was similar to a rosary, except bracelet size. Was she trying to turn Rose into a Christian? I thought silently. No pun intended. "Are you trying to convert me?" Rose asked wryly. I guess she had thought the same thing. "Flip it over," Lissa said, clearly amused at Rose's shock. Rose did and I realized on the back that there was the Dragomir crest. Rose still looked puzzled though. I realized it was a typical Guardian gift. "It's a family heirloom," Lissa said. "One of my dad's good friends has been saving boxes of his stuff. This was in it. It belonged to my great-grandmother's guardian." "Liss ..." Rose began, "I can't... you can't give me something like this." "Well, I certainly can't keep it. It's meant for a guardian. My guardian." "You know," Rose teased, "There's a good possibility I'll get kicked out of school before I can become your guardian." Over my dead body, I thought. Besides, it wasn't like Rose wouldn't just follow the Princess around anyway and be her own protective hired agent.

Lissa grinned. "Well, then you can give it back." Everyone laughed at that. Tasha started to say something, and then stopped when she looked up at the door. "Janine!" An old spring of emotion surfaced then, the hit she'd given Rose. But I quickly suppressed it like a reasonable person. Janine stood there, looking as stiff and impassive as ever. I hoped I didn't look that awkward. "Sorry I'm late," she said. "I had business to take care of." Rose didn't look exactly pleased with the new guest. I couldn't exactly blame her. Janine sat down with us though and soon joined in the conversation. The Badica attack was on everyone's mind, and this drove her into a conversation about some similar fight she'd been in. Mason seemed as excited and I to listen to the story. I think it was a guy thing because Rose looked unimpressed. "Well, decapitations aren't as easy as they seem," Janine said in her matter-of-fact way. "You've got to get through the spinal cord and tendons." Mason's eyes lit up. "What's the best weapon to do it with?" he asked. "An axe. You can get more weight behind it." Janine said after some consideration. "Cool," Mason answered. Soon, the gathering dispersed and Tasha and I decided to hang out since we had more catching up to do. I finally said to her as we walked to her cabin, "I didn't know that you and Janine were friends." "Oh yeah, she's really great. It's too bad Rose didn't seem too fond of her mother's presence though," Tasha said. "Yeah, you noticed, well they sort of had an accident recently." "What do you mean?" asked Tasha. "Well, during the before school practice, the one I missed because I took you to shopping, well Janine filled in for me. I guess during practice Janine messed up and gave Rose that black eye she was wearing." "Janine gave Rose that black eye!" Tasha asked shock.

"Well, yeah, it was an accident. Those sorts of things happen," I explained. Tasha looked doubtful, "Yeah, to an amateur. But this is Janine Hathaway we're talking about. She's a legend. And I know fighting, you guys aren't supposed to hit above the neck. And that's way above the neck. Besides the fact that she's over half a foot shorter than Rose and she would've had to hit up. It just doesn't seem like it was an accident." "Well, why would she do it on purpose?" I asked. Tasha turned thoughtful, "I guess you're right. It must have been an accident. But Janine has told me about their rough relationship so I don't know, I tend to doubt things. Speaking of Janine, she agrees with me on the offer." "What offer?" I asked. Tasha momentarily looked like she was going to slap me, "You know, the offer to be my Guardian. She thinks I could get it. She said she'd help convince the Guardian Counsel too." "Oh," I nodded, hoping that Rose wouldn't hear about it. "So ready for a fun day?" she asked. "Hell yes," I answered, I thought wishing it was something to keep my mind of Roza.

Chapter 9
Tasha had planned a picnic for us out on the lawn. She had more food even though we had only eaten a few hours ago and we just talked about our old friends, our old lives before everything changed. I never thought that my charge would be murdered and I'd be sent to Montana, USA of all places. On the other hand, Tasha never expected her brother to turn Strigoi along with his wife and then try to take Christian, injuring her in the process. We'd both been hurt though her in a much harsher way. I realized then just how much I had in common with Tasha. I felt like I could talk to her about anything, well almost anything. It wasn't like the connection I had with Rose, since with Roza I could see myself in her and she tended to guess things no one else knew. Tasha, however, was accepting of everything and wasn't caught in immature drama. It was easy with her. She had a great smile and I couldn't help but notice her catlike body. "What are you thinking about?" she asked as I ate an orange.

"Nothing. Well, I don't know. This is fun. It's easy," I tried to explain. "Yeah, it always has been with you," she commented. I smiled at that. "Will you ride with me on the jet?" asked Tasha. "What jet?" "The private one to the ski lodge that The Academy got," she explained. "I thought you knew." "Of course," I realized, "Sorry, I become a little distracted when I'm around you." "I tend to have that reaction on people," she joked. "So tell me more about your life here at the Academy. Tell me what happened since the last time we talked, or since you came here." So I began, I told her about getting the Princess and Rose, I told him about Viktor Dashkov who had kidnapped Lissa and went into detail about everything. Well, almost everything. I couldn't exactly disclose the whole Rose fiasco. "Wow," she responded. "You know what?" "What?" I asked. "Christian never told me her got hurt. Ugh," she said. "That's what you gathered from all of that," I said attempting a bitter tone. "Well, no but I just noticed. I sort of feel like he's my kid so I don't know. It's a maternal instinct, sort of," she defended. "I can't help it." "Right," I laughed. "I can't imagine you being a father," she joked. "Well I can, it's just, well, don't take this the wrong way, but you would be way over-protective." "I'm not that bad am I? I'm not as still as Guardian Hathaway or anything," I said. "You're getting pretty darn close," she teased, "At this rate, you'll surpass her stiffness." "Wouldn't make much of a father then," I explained, "Children need a lot of love." "Yeah," Tasha agreed, "I can see why Rose resents her." "Sort of," I agreed. "But Janine did the right thing. What else was she supposed to do? Neglect her duties and everything she was working for?"

"No," admitted Tasha. "But it seems she could put a little more effort into raising Rose." "You really like her don't you?" I asked. "Rose?" she questioned. "Yeah," I answered. "Yeah, she seems like a ball of fun," Tasha said. "She's very, I don't know, she just goes for what she wants from what I hear, you have to admire that. I don't think I know anyone else who boldly pursues exactly what they want." "Yeah, well. You like it because you're not her mentor. It can be a bitch to deal with sometimes," I answered. "Yeah, well, at least you're full of life now. When Lord Zeklos died, you were a mess," she said. The old memory made me cringe. "Yeah, that was tough," I admitted. "How do you feel about it now?" she asked. "I've learned to deal with it. I still think about it every day but I've finally come to terms with the fact that there was absolutely nothing I could have done and that I wasn't even there." "That's good," Tasha said. "Rose helped then by keeping your mind occupied." "Yeah," I admitted. Maybe a little too occupied, I added silently. "Can I ask you something?" asked Tasha then. "Sure," I answered. "Is Rose the real reason you don't want to accept my offer?" she asked. My heart rate sped up then, did she know? "What do you mean?" I asked warily. "Well," Tasha explained, "Maybe you're intent on protecting her. Maybe you don't think that she'd graduate without your help." Oh. That's what she had meant. My legs felt like jelly. I couldn't exactly explain the truth, but Tasha had a point with that. "Well, I definitely would worry about that."

"I could wait," Tasha responded then. "Until Rose graduated. If it would put your mind at ease." I don't know if that would really be better though, I contemplated. My feelings for Roza had only grown stronger. "Just throwing it out there," Tasha said, noticing my contemplating visage. "Okay," I answered. The rest of the day was thankfully avoided from the Rose topic which was good for my mind. That meant I only thought about her 95% of the time. I had a lot of fun with Tasha and we made plans the next day to watch a film. We watched an old Western because it was the only thing I had in my room and Tasha didn't object. She said she really just wanted to spend time with me anyway. When I sat on the couch with her in front of the TV, she sat right next to me and made us both hot cocoa with marsh mellows. It tasted magnificent. During the film, she looked at me and grabbed my hand with hers and our grasps attached. We didn't touch other than that, but I didn't pull away. I said I'd give Tasha and I an honest chance and I was going to go through with that plan. I wasn't ready for other things yet, not when I was still thinking of Rose non-stop, but I had to admit, it was nice to have someone close by. Especially if it was someone like Tasha, she reminded me of home and God I was homesick. When it was time to say goodnight she kissed me on the lips. It was nice. Nothing too crazy or sexual, but just nice. It didn't get my heart racing or make me want to grab her and take her to my bed or anything like with Rose, but I didn't want to pull away either. The next day we were flying out in the private jets to the ski lodge. I had to admit, while I'm in no way a superficial person nor do I care for nice things, flying in private jets was pretty nice. The seats were really cushy and had lots of leg room versus the regular first class which I could in no way get comfortable in plus my legs were so long I nearly had no breathing space. I sat next to Tasha and in front of Christian and Lissa because Tasha wanted to be near her nephew, and I should be watching my charge anyway. Rose walked by us then, I'd barely seen her and it'd honestly felt like an eternity. I could have continued practice, but I just wasn't ready for any of that. That kiss had crossed the line. Rose smiled at Christian and Lissa but turned her gaze from Tasha and I and made no eye contact. "Is she upset with you or something?" whispered Tasha as Rose kept walking. "No, she just probably didn't see us," I lied. Rose was probably angry that I had sort of been ignoring her but what the hell she pushed me to the edge.

Of course, she was a little too eager to sit next to carrot top, she smiled and waved and Mason and took the seat right next to him. I couldn't help but grit my teeth. Even though I had no right whatsoever to feel that way, I still considered Rose to be mine in some messed up way and that Mason was invading my territory, and I swear to God, it took great difficulty for me not to walk over there and knock him out with one punch. Oh how I pictured it. Then I could turn to Rose and ask, "Still impressed with this maggot?" "Dimitri?" asked Tasha, bringing me back to my harsher reality. "Yes?" I asked. "There you are. You zoned out. So do you want to shoot pool first or go swimming?" she asked. "You pick," I said. "Although, I'm not entirely sure that I can do anything yet. I might have to work." "You always work," she said irritated. I then noticed Rose holding hands with Mason. I was going to fucking kill him. "Dimitri?" Tasha asked again. "You keep zoning out, have you slept at all?" "Yeah. Sorry, I just was going over some Guardian things in my head," I lied. "Is that why you have the look of death on your face?" she asked. "Because they're keeping you away from me?" No, because Rose is acting like a fucking whore, I thought in my head. Then reasoned, holding hands did not constitute her as a whore what so ever and that I was being a little unfair. "Yes," I finally answered. It came out stupidly and Tasha didn't buy a word. "Wow! Can you lie any better?" Tasha asked. "Here I remember you having some skills." Okay, time to clean this shit up D. "Sorry, I'm just worried about security that's all. And I didn't get much sleep so I'm pretty out of it. Where were we?" I made a choice to ignore Rose for the rest of the ride then and promised myself to not steal any glances to her. I promised not even to turn around and faced Tasha the whole time. That is what I was supposed to be focusing on anyway now. I actually managed to for the rest of the ride.

When we got to the resort, I had to admit that even I was impressed once more. It was really nice and luxurious, built like a log cabin to accommodate hundreds of rich people. I felt a little awkward since I was so not up-scale, but it was fine. I put on a good face anyway. Tasha and I spent the day playing pool with some old friend of her. I should have warned them how good I was. I should have let Tasha win too, but I couldn't. She would have known anyway and called me out on it. Later I told Tasha I had to check in with Alberta though and left. "Hey Dimitri," Alberta called when I got there. "Hi," I answered. "How are things with Tasha?" she asked. Did she know, I tried to act at ease, "They're good." "Good. Have you said yes yet?" she asked. Damn she did know. "Not yet, can I ask you something?" "Of course." "How did you know?" I questioned. "Janine told me so that I could help persuade you. I don't think I can do that though, we need you at the Academy. Besides, I really don't want to be the one to have to deal with Hathaway," Alberta answered. "Hah," I laughed. "She's getting better." "She was," Alberta admitted. "What's that mean?" I asked. Heart rate accelerating a little. "Her and Mason Ashford had an incident," she began. My palms turned into fists. Please tell me she didn't do anything with that sick little bastard. "They were doing some crazy stunts on the slopes and nearly killed themselves. Mason was a little hurt, but Rose was fine, luckily." "I turn my back for one second," I began. "I know. They were yelled at for a little while, I don't think they'll try it again," Alberta explained. "Good," I answered.

"Those are a match made in heaven," Alberta joked. "I think they instigate each other for crazy stunts, I'll have to keep my eye on them." "Yeah, me too," I answered quickly. "Well here are your assignments for the break," she said while handing me some papers. "Thanks," I nodded and went to walk out. "Oh, and Dimitri," she called. " Yes?" I asked. "Do what's best for you. Whatever you decide, I'll be behind you," Alberta said. "Thank you," I nodded once more and walked out. Adrian's POV I was outside smoking some cigarettes, trying to pass the time since my parent's had insisted I come to this joint because they were all scared of Strigoi and once more the damn Moroi population was in panic. They worried way too much. It wasn't as terrible as I thought with its nice accommodations and food, and some decent looking chicks but nothing really kept me here. Honestly, it was the same Royal bullshit and most the guys and girls only really liked me because of my name. Sure, it got me easy things but it was a little boring at times. Then I smelled something enticing, something beautiful. I saw a girl walk out with dark brown hair and a tanned face, definitely Dhampir with that body damn. Things might actually get a little less boring out here. "Hey, little dhampir," I called. She looked startled and then realized that it was me standing on the porch. I thought these Guardians in training were supposed to be bad-asses not scared of anything. I kept smoking my cigarette and smiled, they always fall for the bad boys.

This one though crossed her arms and totally checked me out, up and down. Then it sort of turned into sizing up. I didn't mind really though, I had to admit the scenery right now was amazing. I also noticed then that she had a black eye. Ahh, a feisty one. Definitely interesting, I thought silently to myself. "Yeah?" she finally asked after a thorough examination. I checked her out once more, I couldn't help myself. She was bundled up in winter clothing and had a wicked bad eye, but even then, she looked dead sexy. I shrugged. "Just saying hi, that's all." No need to get your panties in a bunch. Wow did I just say that. This place is really screwing me up. She waited then, probably expecting more but I just stuffed my hands in my coat's pocket and shrugged. Finally, she took some steps forward. There it was, that wonderful smell filling my vampire senses, "You smell good, you know," I pointed out suddenly. She stopped walking and gave me another puzzled look like I was , I had caught her attention. My smile grew. "I... um, what?" she questioned. "You smell good," I repeated. "Are you joking? I've been sweating all day. I'm disgusting." She began, I could tell that she wanted to walk away then, but she didn't. Spirit seemed to do that to people, draw them in, make me charismatic even if I they thought I was a complete douche. It wasuseful. Especially when a girl was clearly uninterested. "Sweat isn't a bad thing," I continued, leaning my head against the wall and looking upward thoughtfully. "Some of the best things in life happen while sweating," I thought, my mind going to other places. "Yeah, if you get too much of it and it gets old and stale, it turns pretty gross. But on a beautiful woman? Intoxicating. If you could smell things like a vampire does, you'd know what I'm talking about. Most people mess it all up and drown themselves in perfume. Perfume can be good...especially if you get one that goes with your chemistry. But you only need a hint. Mix about 20 percent of that with 80 percent of your own perspiration...mmm." I tilted his head to the side and looked at her. "Dead sexy."

"Well, thanks for the hygiene lesson," she said clearly still uninterested. Damn, I wasn't used to trying this hard. I guess I should probably bring up my name soon. Or I'll try this whole "game" thing like the other people. Damn it kind of sucks to be normal sometimes. "But I don't own any perfume,and I'm going to go shower all this hot sweaty action off me. Sorry," the little Dhampir answered. I pulled out a pack of cigarettes and offered it to her while moving only a step closer. "Bad habit," she said, watching me light it. "One of many," I replied while inhaling deeply to prove I didn't really care. "You here with St. Vlad's?" "Yup." "So you're going to be a guardian when you grow up." "Obviously." Interesting. My parents wanted me to get a Guardian soon and I completely objected to the idea, the last thing I needed was a damn baby sitter. But maybe having a dead sexy chick follow me around and protect me damn, that was hot. "How long until you grow up?" I asked. "I might need a guardian." "I graduate in the spring. But I'm already spoken for. Sorry." I was surprised. It was probably some royal Moroi who had the same idea I had. Maybe I could beat my new opponent. "Yeah? Who is he?" I asked. "She's Vasilisa Dragomir." "Ah," I said grinning. I sure as hell knew who Rose Hathaway was. "I knew you were trouble as soon as I saw you. You're Janine Hathaway's daughter." "I'm Rose Hathaway," she corrected as if she wasn't too fond of being associated with her mother. "Nice to meet you, Rose Hathaway." I extended a gloved hand to her that she hesitantly took. "Adrian Ivashkov." "And you think I'm trouble," she muttered. I laughed at that. She had a point. "Handy, huh? Each of our reputations precedes us," I joked.

Rose shook her head though. "You don't know anything about me. And I only know of your family. I don't know anything about you." "Want to?"I asked tauntingly. "Sorry. I'm not into older guys." "I'm twenty-one. Not that much older." She was playing hard to get. It was unusual. "I have a boyfriend," she interceded. It was obvious she was lying by the way she said it. "Funny you didn't mention that right away," I mused. "He didn't give you that black eye, did he?" She blushed then, "He wouldn't be alive if he did. I got it during ... practice. I mean, I'm training to be a guardian. Our classes are always rough." "That's pretty hot," I admitted dropping my cigarette. "Punching me in the eye?" "Well, no. Of course not. I meant that the idea of getting rough with you is hot. I'm a big fan of full-contact sports." "I'm sure you are," Rose said dryly. The sound of footsteps behind Rose made both of us glance up. I noticed a young looking Moroi girl walking up. She stopped suddenly when she saw the two of us. "Hey, Mia," called Rose. The Moroi girl glanced between the two of us. "Another guy?" she asked. Ouch! Catfight! This night was getting better and better. I just gave Rose a questioning, amused looked. Rose didn't look pleased however, and I wouldn't be surprised if she pounced on Moroi girl and showed me just what a tiger she was. "Mia, this is Adrian Ivashkov," Rose introduced. I shook her hand. "Always a pleasure to meet a friend of Rose's, especially a pretty one." "We aren't friends," Rose interjected. "Rose only hangs out with guys and psychopaths," explained Mia, voice filled with scorn.

"Well," I answered cheerfully, "Since I'm both a psychopath and a guy,that would explain why we're such good friends." "You and I aren't friends either," Rose argued. That was cute. I laughed. "Always playing hard to get, huh?" "She's not that hard to get," said Mia, "Just ask half the guys at our school." "Yeah," Rose retorted, "And you can ask the other half about Mia. If you can do a favor for her, she'll do lots of favors for you." A flicker of embarrassment passed over Mia's face, but she held her ground. Ahh, high school, I reminisced. "Well," Mia said, "at least I don't do them for free." I made some cat noises unable to control myself. "Are you done?" asked Rose. "It's past your bedtime, and the grown-ups would like to talk now." "Sure," answered Mia. "I have better things to do anyway." She turned toward the door, and then paused with her hand resting on it. She glanced towards me then. "Her mom gave her that black eye, you know." Then she went inside. Well, I think Mia totally won that bitch battle. Rose and I stood there in silence. Finally, I took out the cigarettes again and lit another. "Your mom?" I asked. How could I not? "Shut up." "You're one of those people who either has soul mates or mortal enemies, aren't you? No in-between. You and Vasilisa are probably like sisters, huh?" "I guess." "How is she?" "Huh? What do you mean?" I shrugged, "I don't know. I mean, I know you guys ran away...and there was that stuff with her family and Victor Dashkov...." Rose stiffened at the reference to Victor. "So?" "Dunno. Just figured it might be a lot for her to, you know, handle."

Besides the fact that I read some reports. It could be possible that she too was a spirit user. I wasn't supposed to be reading those reports, but well, when you're the Queen's nephew, you have some special privileges. Rose studied me carefully, "I've got to go." "Are you sure?" I asked mildly disappointed. "I thought it was time for the grown-ups to talk. Lots of grown-up things I'd like to talk about." "It's late, I'm tired, and your cigarettes are giving me a headache," she growled. "I suppose that's fair." I drew in on the cigarette and let out the smoke. "Some women think they make me look sexy." "I think you smoke them so you have something to do while thinking up your next witty line." I choked on the smoke, caught between inhaling and laughing. "Rose Hathaway, I can't wait to see you again. If you're this charming while tired and annoyed and this gorgeous while bruised and in ski clothes, you must be devastating at your peak." I made my move. "If by 'devastating' you mean that you should fear for your life, then yeah. You're right." She then jerked open the door. "Good night, Adrian." "I'll see you soon," I teased. "Not likely. I told you, I'm not into older guys." She walked into the lodge. As the door closed, I called out, "Sure, you aren't." I had to see this girl again.

Chapter 10
I met Tasha later that day to see her. She was looking casual, laid back with jeans and tshirt, but even with the scar and everything else working against her, she still looked pretty darn good. "Hey Dimka," she called. "How are you this morning?" I asked. "I'm great," she answered. "How about you? Are you going to manage to sneak away today?" I had read the assignment for today and saw that the answer to that was no. I hesitated, afraid of her reaction.

"Please tell me you have the day off," begged Tasha. "I have to work all day," I answered. She grumbled, "Can't you call in sick?" "No," I answered. "I can't. Not that sort of job," I laughed. "Though I don't imagine I could possibly do anything else." "You suck, well, I guess I'll just have to be doing some illegal things with Christian," she answered. "What illegal things?" I asked warily. "Can't really tell a Guardian, can I?" she teased. "I promise not to tell," I answered. "Fine, you beat it out of me, I'll just teaching Christian some defense spells," she answered. "Tasha," I hesitated, I didn't like her doing this sort of thing, "Be careful. You could get in a lot of shit for that. Even I won't be able to protect you," I warned. "Dimka," she insisted. "For one, yes you will. And more importantly, it doesn't make any sense, why wouldn't Moroi use their magic to defend themselves like in the old days, it's so stupid. Moroi numbers are dwindling and the Queen still hasn't taken any initiative. I'm not going to obey some stupid rule which could result in my death or Christian's in the future." "Well, I'm not disagreeing with the use. Moroi should use magic to defend themselves, I just don't want someone I care a lot about to go to prison for it though," I answered. "So you care about me a lot, huh?" she teased. "Of course," I answered. "You're a great friend of mine." "And he shoots me down once more," Tasha teased back. "I didn't mean it like that," I explained. "It's alright," she answered. "You'll change your mind," she insisted and smiled showing her fangs. "Well I really have to go," I explained. "I'll be on watch with some of the other Guardians." "Okay," she answered, "Have fun I guess." "Thanks," I answered and then she kissed me on the lips goodbye.

I spent the better part of the day just guarding the posts outside the lodge which was incredibly boring for the most part and freezing since we were on a mountain full of snow. Finally though, a guardian came to speak to me. "Hey Dimitri" called John, a Guardian now who had attended the Academy in Siberia with me. "How are you it's been a while?" "I've been good, how about you?" I asked. "Good, good," he answered, "So I heard you're assigned to the Montana Academy." "Yup," I answered. "I heard about Lord Zeklos too, I'm sorry for your loss," he continued. "Thank you, it was a difficult time," I answered. "So how are things with the Academy?" he changed the subject sensing my tension. "They're okay, not as bad as I had thought," I answered, well at least not as boring. "I heard you have to mentor Guardian Hathaway's kid and that she's a nightmare," John added. "Oh, Rosemarie," I answered, "She isn't really a nightmare. She actually sort of keeps it interesting. And truth be told I think I've straightened her out some, she hasn't done anything reproachable lately," I corrected. "Huh," he answered. "What?" I asked since the way he said it made it seem like he disagreed. "Oh nothing," he continued. "Just high school rumors, I probably shouldn't even have taken it into consideration." Now I really wanted to know, "What's that supposed to mean? What did you hear?" "Nothing really," began John. "Just that she and Adrian Ivashkov you know, the Queen's nephew, were hanging out last night getting drunk. The whole lodge was buzzing about it since you know Queen Tatiana probably doesn't want her only nephew within a few feet of your student." I gritted my teeth, "Yes, because I'm sure Rose is the bad influence," I said bitterly sarcastic. My hands turned into fists and I could already feel adrenaline pulsing through me. What the hell was Rose doing with Adrian Ivashkov? That kid had nothing but trouble written all over him. I could deal with Rose dating a nice, respectable Dhampir her age who I knew wouldn't try to take advantage of her. Adrian Ivashkov a spoiled Moroi who just wanted to sleep with her unacceptable.

"I'm sure it was probably just a rumor," answered John seeing the change in my visage. "Sorry, I didn't mean to get you all worked up." "Yes well, I know of Adrian Ivashkov, he's notorious for partying and sleeping with a lot of girls. And he's a royal Moroi, which probably means he thinks he can have whatever he wants," I answered bitterly, trying to explain my rage. "You're worried that Rose will hook up with him? How it'll make you look?" he asked. "No." I answered; I could care less about that. "I'm concerned of an older royal Moroi taking advantage of a younger Dhampir girl," I answered, venom coming off every word. "He won't be getting near her again," I announced. "Not to doubt your abilities because man, you have always been a beast, but how exactly do you plan on stopping that. Between you and me, we both know Moroi royal men especially the Queen's nephew can pretty much get away with murder." "Maybe. But when I'm through with him, he won't want to get within ten feet of Rose," I answered and walked up and started to the lodge. I was going to kick Ivashkovs ass. I was going to push him against the wall and frighten him so much he won't ever want to take advantage of a Dhampir again. "Where are you going?" called John as I was walking away. "To take care of this," I called back, "Cover me." I was walking to the Ivashkov wing, basically fuming and then knocked into Tasha. "Dimka, what's wrong, you look like you want to murder someone?" she asked. I did right now. "Nothing," I answered. "Tell me," she said, grabbing my hand and pulling me aside. "Rose," I began, "She was with Adrian Ivashkov last night," I said the name with repulse. "Getting drunk," I added. "How do you know?" she asked. "A Guardian told me," I answered. "Could be just a rumor," Tasha said. "What were you planning on doing? Castigating Rose?" "No," I answered. "Just going to have a little man to man talk with Adrian." "Are you crazy?" she asked with bewilderment. "You can't do that. You don't want to be on his bad side."

"Why?" I asked. "What the hell is he going to do?" There was a little voice of reason in me telling me I should probably listen to Tasha, but it was very easy to ignore when I pictured Adrian Ivashkov trying to get his dirty hands on Rose. "He has a lot of power. He's the Queen's only nephew. It could have repercussions. Just cool down and then talk to Rose about it, she'll listen." "I can't," I answered. "I have to take care of this now." Tasha gave me a strange look then, like she was trying to figure something out. She was reading me. She was about to start talking, but right then Janine Hathaway walked by, good I could tell her what Rose had been up to, "Guardian Belikov, there's been another Strigoi attack." And just like that, all my concerns had to fade away for now.

Chapter 11
I followed Janine instantly and we went to the Guardian meeting room. Tasha understood and just nodded off, realizing that it was not the place to her. We all tried to go over the details of what happened and see if we could get any clues as to where they were. I noticed long dark hair and unmistakable eyes and only glanced briefly, because the minute Rose noticed my gaze I looked down. Damn, I was trying to get over her. We were discussing strategies as to how to avoid all these attacks. Some of the Guardians believed that all of us massed together made us easy pickings for Strigoi because there were so many. However, being alone left you vulnerable. Here there were plenty of Guardians to go around protecting all of the Moroi. Overall, the details were this: eight Moroi had been killed along with their five Guardians while there were still three Moroi missing which meant they were either dead, or worse, turned Strigoi. The attack hadn't really been anywhere near the resort and actually somewhere near northern California. But nonetheless, it would cause a commotion in the Moroi world. Two states was far too close for the Moroi. "There had to be more than last time," said Guardian Hathaway. "More?" exclaimed one of the other guardians. "That last group was unheard of. I still can't believe nine Strigoi managed to work together-you expect me to believe they managed to get more organized still?" Of course you idiot, I thought. Couldn't he see the evidence around him? "Yes," snapped Janine sounding fierce as ever. The small woman even terrified me and I was almost twice her size. "Any evidence of humans?" someone else asked.

Janine hesitated, but I knew the answer to that. "Yes. More broken wards. And the way it was all conducted...it's identical to the Badica attack." Harsh memories flooded me all the death- even Art, the legend, had been murdered in cold blood. I thought about the repercussions this could have, if humans worked with Strigoi, than it would be difficult to keep Moroi safe. There would be constant serial killings seeing as there was no way in hell there were enough Guardians to go around. Moroi could no longer trust the wards, or even moving around in sunlight. I remembered what Rose had said to me at the Badica house: This changes everything, doesn't it? She couldn't have been more right. Janine flipped through some papers on a clipboard. "They don't have forensic details yet, but the same number of Strigoi couldn't have done this. None of the Drozdovs or their staff escaped. With five guardians, seven Strigoi would have been preoccupied-at least temporarily-for some to escape. We're looking at nine or ten, maybe." "Janine's right," I answered realizing the harsh reality. "And if you look at the venue...it's too big. Seven couldn't have covered it." The Drozdovs were one of the twelve royal families. They were large and prosperous, not like Lissa's dying clan. They had plenty of family members to go around, but obviously, an attack like this was still horrible. Through the whole mess, I saw how Janine was a voice of reason, a reminder that they had to stay focused and fully assess the situation. Her composure calmed everybody; her strong manner inspired us. It was how a leader behaved and it was difficult not to admire that. Rose even looked with awe at her mother finally at least she was making some progress. I remained collected, like I had to. We discussed the attack more, how the Drozdovs had been having a belated Christmas party in a banquet hall when they were attacked. "First Badicas, now Drozdovs," muttered one guardian. "They're going after royals." "They're going after Moroi," I answered flatly. "Royal. Non-royal. It doesn't matter." I hated all the stupid royal shit. We were in the 21st century, why would royal even matter? I also loathed the fact that royals always got dibs on Guardians. When the group started to break up, I noticed Rose go to her mother. "Rose," Janine said, surprised. "What are you doing here?" Rose pointed to her clipboard. "Who else was killed?"

"Drozdovs." Janine answered. "But who else?" "Rose, we don't have time-" "They had staff, right? Dimitri said non-royals. Who were they?" I guess she'd been listening to me, I thought. Wow. I should not be rejoicing in something stupid like that. I sound like a fifteen years old girl. Of course she was listening, she was probably worried about Lissa. "I don't know all the names." Flipping through a few pages, she turned the clipboard toward me. "There." "Okay," I told her. "Thanks." Rose looked really worried; I couldn't ask her why though. I had to continue my job. Who did she know that was killed? Lissa and Rose left after that and the rest of the Guardians and I went over the same details over and over again. And how to prevent that sort of thing from happening here. Eventually, we dispersed. Guardian security was reinforced then and because of all the commotion, logically, with so many royals and other important Moroi at the lodge, a meeting was organized that night to discuss what had happened and what might be done in the future. Nothing official would be decided here; the Moroi had the Queen and a governing council elsewhere for those types of decisions. Everyone knew, though, that opinions gathered here would make their way up the chain of command. It was held in an enormous banquet hall inside the lodge, one with a podium and plenty of seating. Some guy I didn't know was in charge of moderating and stood at the podium. Most of the royals on hand gathered at the front of the room. Everyone else, including students, took seats wherever they could. " I saw Mason and Rose sit down. I decided to take the seat next to Rose; we needed to discuss the Ivashkov thing after this. I definitely hadn't forgotten about it.

Rose glanced at me in surprise but said nothing. There were few guardians at this gathering; most were too busy doing damage control. It would figure. There she was, stuck between both her men. Unless we included fucking Ivashkov. Yup, Adrian better look around and know I'll be watching my cubby. The meeting kicked off shortly thereafter. Everyone was eager to talk about how they thought the Moroi should be saved, but really, two theories got the most attention. "The answer's all around us," said one royal, once he'd been given leave to speak. He stood by his chair and looked around the room."Here. In places like this lodge. And St. Vladimir's. We send our children to safe places, places where they have safety in numbers and can be easily guarded. And look how many of us made it here, children and adults alike. Why don't we live this way all the time?" "Plenty of us already do," someone shouted back. The man waved that off. "A couple of families here and there. Or a town with a large Moroi population. But those Moroi are still decentralized. Most don't pool their resources-their guardians, their magic. If we could emulate this model..." He spread his hands out. "...we'd never have to worry about Strigoi again." "And Moroi could never interact with the rest of the world again," Rose muttered. Well, until humans discovered secret vampire cities sprouting up in the wilderness. Then we'd have lots of interactions. I can imagine the humans now conducting science experiments on things they could not explain. Vampires existed only in legends for them now. The other theory about how to protect the Moroi involved fewer logistical problems but had greater personal impact- particularly for me. "The problem is simply that we don't have enough guardians." This plan's advocate was some woman from the Szelsky clan. "And so, the answer is simple: get more. The Drozdovs had five guardians, and that wasn't enough. Only six to protect over a dozen Moroi! That's unacceptable. It's no wonder these kinds of things keep happening." "Where do you propose getting more guardians from?" asked the man who'd been in favor of Moroi banding together. "They're kind of a limited resource."

She pointed to where I and a few other novices sat. "We've got plenty already. I've watched them train. They're deadly. Why are we waiting until they turn eighteen? If we accelerated the training program and focused more on combat training than bookwork, we could turn out new guardians when they're sixteen." I grunted at that. Are they fucking serious? They are kids. Moroi's like that don't give two shits about Dhampirs. They don't care if anything happens to us. I leaned forward and placed my elbows on my knees and rested my chin in my hands, my eyes narrowed in thought. "Not only that, we have plenty of potential guardians going to waste. Where are all the dhampir women? Raising their children. Oh no, they don't deserve anything. I swear, sometimes they talk about us as if we're animals. "Our races are intertwined. The Moroi are doing their part to help the dhampirs survive. Why aren't these women doing theirs? Why aren't they here?" Continued the woman. A long, sultry laugh came as an answer. All eyes turned toward Tasha Ozera. Damn, what the hell was she going to do? I was all for someone advocating for the Dhampirs or at least someone to get this bitch to shut up but why did it have to be Tasha? She was already a stir in the Moroi world. Whereas many of the other royals had dressed up, Tasha was dressed casual in her usual jeans, a white tank top that showed a bit of midriff, and a blue, lacy knit cardigan that came to her knees. Glancing at the moderator, she asked, "May I?" He nodded. The Szelsky woman sat down; Tasha stood up. Unlike the other speakers, she strode right up to the podium, so she could be clearly seen by everyone. Her glossy black hair was pulled back into a ponytail, completely exposing her scars in a way I suspected was intentional. Her face was bold and defiant. Beautiful. "Those women aren't here, Monica, because they're too busy raising their children-you know, the ones you want to start sending out to the fronts as soon as they can walk. And please don't insult us all by acting like the Moroi do a huge favor to the dhampirs by helping them reproduce. Maybe it's different in your family, but for the rest of us, sex is fun. The Moroi doing it with dhampirs aren't really making that big of a sacrifice."

I had straightened up now, my expression no longer angry. That was fucking hilarious. I couldn't believe she just said that at one of these prim and proper meetings. I couldn't help but grow fascinated. In my peripheral view, however, I saw Rose with a homicidal look on her face and I wondered what the hell she was thinking? I was pretty sure usually she would applaud this sort of behavior. "And the reason we're waiting for these guardians to turn eighteen is so that we can allow them to enjoy some pretense of a life before forcing them to spend the rest of their days in constant danger," continued Tasha. "They need those extra years to develop mentally as well as physically. Pull them out before they're ready, treat them like they're parts on an assembly line-and you're just creating Strigoi fodder." A few people gasped at Tasha's callous choice of words, but she succeeded in getting everyone's attention. She said it how it is. "You create more fodder still if you try making the other dhampir women become guardians. You can't force them into that life if they don't want it. This entire plan of yours to get more guardians relies on throwing children and the unwilling into harm's way, just so you can-barely-stay one step ahead of the enemy. I would have said it's the stupidest plan I've ever heard, if I hadn't already had to listen to his." She pointed at the first speaker, the one who had wanted Moroi compounds. Embarrassment clouded his features. I was amused. Things had suddenly grown very interesting, I should've brought popcorn. "Enlighten us then, Natasha," he said. "Tell us what you think we should do, seeing as you have so much experience with Strigoi." Asshole. I should knock him out. That didn't deter Tasha at all though, because that was just the sort of woman she was. A thin smile played on Tasha's lips, "What do I think?" She strode closer to the stage's front, gazing at us as she answered his question. "I think we should stop coming up with plans that involve us relying on someone or something to protect us. You think there are too few guardians? That's not the problem. The problem is there are too many Strigoi. And we've let them multiply and become more powerful because we do nothing about them except have stupid arguments like this. We run and hide behind the dhampirs and let the Strigoi go unchecked. It's our fault. We are the reason those Drozdovs died. You want an army? Well, here we are. Dhampirs aren't the only ones who can learn to fight. The question, Monica, isn't where the dhampir women are in this fight. The question is: Where are we?" Tasha was shouting by now, and the exertion turned her cheeks pink. Her eyes shone with her

impassioned feelings, and when combined with the rest of her pretty features-and even with the scar-she made a striking figure. Most people couldn't take their eyes off her. Monica Szelsky fixed her gaze on Tasha. "Surely you aren't suggesting the Moroi fight alongside the guardians when the Strigoi come?" Tasha regarded her levelly. "No. I'm suggesting the Moroi and the guardians go fight the Strigoi before they come." A guy in his twenties who looked like a freaking girl shot up. I would have wagered money he was royal. No one else could have afforded blond highlights that perfect. Flamer. He untied an expensive sweater from around his waist and draped it over the back of his chair. "Oh," he said in a mocking voice, speaking out of turn. "So, you're going to just give us clubs and stakes and send us off to do battle?" Not you pretty boy, I thought, you'd be useless. Tasha shrugged. "If that's what it takes, Andrew, then sure." A sly smile crossed her pretty lips. "But there are other weapons we can learn to use, too. Ones the guardians can't." The look on his face showed how insane he thought that idea was. I probably had one of those insane expressions on to. Tasha couldn't do this at a place like this. They'll throw her to the dogs I thought. What the hell was she doing? I had to stop her, but I couldn't. He rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah? Like what?" Her smile turned into a full-fledged grin. "Like this." Please Tasha, I thought, don't. But she did. She waved her hand, and the sweater he'd placed on the back of his chair burst into flames. He yelped in surprise and knocked it to the floor, stamping it out with his feet. There was a brief, collective intake of breath throughout the room. And then ... chaos broke out.

Chapter 12

Everyone began shouting, and unfortunately the consensus seemed to be that Tasha was wrong. They said horrible things to her, that she was trying to eliminate her own race and the Dhampirs by sending them off to fight the Strigoi. They even suggested that she was collaborating with Strigoi to try to exterminate our races. They were probably all just too scared to fight and that's why they were acting like such wimps. I would've interjected, but the truth was Tasha stood her ground and didn't need a man to protect her. I decided there was really nothing left for me to hear so I just stood up and left the chaos in disgust. "You might as well leave. Nothing useful's going to happen now," I finally said to Rose. They were the only words that we had spoken to each other. Mason and Rose stood, and I added silently that I didn't need carrot top to come. Luckily though, he nodded his head and didn't follow me out as Rose did. I couldn't believe it had only been a few days since I'd spoken to Rose. Honestly, it'd felt like an eternity. I had missed Rose. I was used to having her every day and now I felt like I never was able to see her. While I had enjoyed spending time with Tasha, it was nothing compared to how I felt as I stood right next to Roza. "Shouldn't you be in there protecting Tasha?" Rose asked. "Before the mob gets her? She's going to get in big trouble for using magic like that." I raised an eyebrow at her wondering what the hell this was about. "She can take care of herself." "Yeah, yeah, because she's a badass karate magic user. I get all that. I just figured since you're going to be her guardian and all..." Ahh, that's where she got it from. Now I understood. "Where did you hear that?" I asked, even though it should have been irrelevant. Still though, I could've avoided some trouble. "I have my sources," answered Rose sounding like a little girl."You've decided to, right? I mean, it sounds like a good deal, seeing as she's going to give you fringe benefits...." I gave me a level look. Now she was being disrespectful. And who was she to comment anyway. Tasha had been nothing but nice to her. And Rose sort of had a boyfriend, plus she had been hanging out with that stupid asshole Adrian, I let that consume me and told her flatly, "What happens between her and me is none of your business."

It looked like the words stung and I momentarily wanted to stop, tell her nothing was happening and that nothing would because I couldn't stand to see that expression on her face. However, attitude and temper seem to overcome Rose once more. Good, I thought, it's easier to deal with her that way. "Well, I'm sure you guys'll be happy together. She's just your type, too-I know how much you like women who aren't your own age. I mean, she's what, six years older than you? Seven? And I'm seven years younger than you." "Yes," I said after several moments of silence. She was being a fucking bitch. I didn't like that being thrown in my face, that she was younger than me by seven years. It killed me. And it wasn't like I was trying to take advantage of her. "You are," I added. "And every second this conversation goes on, you only prove how young you really are." I didn't think it'd hurt her, but I saw the hurt in her eyes. I felt regret, realizing just how harsh my words had been, but I let the moment pass because the truth was this was how things were supposed to be. "Little dhampir," a voice suddenly called nearby. I turned around. I had a feeling the voice wasn't talking to me. I looked and saw Adrian Ivashkov. My hands curled into fists. Adrian nodded at me. He fucking nodded at me. He should be afraid to stand so close. Rose's face was beet red. I realized she was wondering if he had heard us. That was the least of my worries right now. Adrian held up his hands in a casual gesture. "I don't want to interrupt or anything. Just wanted to talk to you when you have time." I wanted to tell him that she'll never have time, but it wasn't really appropriate. Especially if he had heard what I had said. I didn't exactly want to go to jail for statutory rape.

Rose smiled seductively at him, I was going to fucking wipe that grin off her face. I was going to lock her up in my room with me and board the door so no one could fucking put his nasty hands on herexcept me. "I've got time now." Rose said. Is she serious? We were in the middle of something. Was she really going to pick someone else over me? I was flabbergasted. Rose just nodded at me and steered Adrian away, walking close to him. Too close. "See you later, Guardian Belikov." Rose turned, without looking back. I couldn't believe she'd actually do that to me. In all this time, I'd always come first. I think she'd even put me before Lissa, especially before any other guy, especially before Mason. But now, she had left with Adrian. Did she like him more than me? I couldn't believe it. How could she like that idiot? That idiot who probably just wanted to sleep with her and just wanted to add another dhampir to his list. I swear I was going to fucking kill Adrian Ivashkov. When I get my hands on that little shit, he's going to wish he was never born. Alberta walked by then, "Dimitri, time to make rounds." I tried to make my voice steady and to not sound like I was about to kill someone, "Of course, I'll be right there." I walked off hoping that I'd knock into that cocky Moroi as I made my way. Unfortunately, I couldn't find where Rose and Adrian had gone anywhere. Sure, I was supposed to be checking all around the lodge, but that didn't mean I couldn't search for them in the process. Or search for them as my main goal. A little voice said in my head, they're probably in his room. And it took every ounce of self-control not to walk to the Ivashkov wing and murder Adrian. Eventually, I knocked into Tasha. "Oh no," she said studying my face. "What?" I asked.

"You have that look," she answered. "What look?" "The look of a Russian angry killer. What happened?" she asked. "Rose, I was talking to her and you know what she did in the middle of it?" I asked. "What?" questioned Tasha. "Walked off with Ivashkov, so yeah, the rumors must be true," I answered. "So what are you going to do now?" she asked. "Kill Ivashkov," I answered. "Wow. Your tone of voice is really scary, almost sounds like you actually mean it. Why don't you just relax and come hang out with me," she asked and I noticed her eyes were looking at me seductively. Why couldn't I just love Tasha? I'm sure she wouldn't fall for an idiot like Adrian. "I can't," I answered. "I'm supposed to be making rounds." "Yeah, but you aren't doing that. You're looking for Ivashkov so that you can kill him. And frankly, I think hanging out with me is not as bad," she answered. I wasn't convinced, "Tasha," I began. "Fine!" she answered. "It isn't like I know exactly where they are," and turned around and stormed off to her room. She did know I realized. "Tasha wait," I called but she started running. God dammit these fucking women are going to drive me crazy. I had to follow Tasha all the way to her room because everything was crowded and she's cunning. I finally made it there but she had walked in. I knocked but no one answered. I tried the knob then, and it wasn't locked. I walked in and all the lights in the room were dark. "I know you're in here Tasha," I called.

No answer. "You're acting like a child," I continued. Still no answer. "Tasha, you do not want a crazy Russian guy after you," I added. I heard a giggle. "Maybe I do," she answered, I hadn't realized that she was hiding to my left. I smiled. I couldn't help it, she was cute. Then my mind remembered why I was here and I began, "So where is she?" "Where's who?" Tasha answered. "Do you really even know?" I asked a little frustrated. "Yes, but it's going to take some heavy questioning for you to get that sort of information out of me," she teased. "I can always force you," I teased back. She snorted and walked to her bed like a cat and laid down. "I'm so scared," she said sarcastically. "I'm shivering!" she continued. I walked over, "You're being cruel." "I can't help it, you're just like a big teddy bear," she said. "Wow thanks. First you boost my ego with crazy killer Russian guy and now you crush me with big teddy bear," I answered. "Dimka! I'm kidding. If anything, you look more like a model who decided to become a killer. Is that better?" "Yes," I answered. "So are you going to tell me?" I pressed. "Maybe if you lay down here with me I will," she teased. I knew where this was going then. It was a little tempting, I could see it all happening in my head, I could forget about the Rose matter and make love to Tasha. No one would even notice that I was gone. I could build a life with Tasha. But the truth was, I only wished that it was Rose doing the teasing and not Tasha, and that wasn't fair to Tasha. "Maybe that's not such a good idea," I said flatly without an ounce of flirtation.

"So who is she?" Tasha asked changing her tone abruptly. "Who's who?" I questioned. "The woman you're in love with," she answered. "What do you mean?" I asked a little startled. "Dimka, I'm not stupid, I'm old enough to know when a guy is with me and thinking about another girl," she answered. I was somewhat at a loss for words. I better lie I thought, "It's not like that." "So it's not like that anymore, with this other woman. You don't have to tell me, but don't lie to me," she answered. "Is there another woman?" Rose wasn't technically a woman yet, I thought to myself. But, it would still be a lie. Maybe I could sort of tell Tasha. "There is, or better yet was. But nothing is going to happen between her and I," I answered carefully. "Okay. Are you still in love with her?" she asked. I paused for a minute, evaluating the question, "Yes." "Is it mutual?" she asked. I realized what had occurred today, with Adrian, how Rose had chosen him over me, "No," I answered flatly. "Are you trying to forget her?" she asked. "Yes," I answered. "Okay," she said. "Well I hope you can," she answered and put her hand on mine. "Thanks," I answered. She sighed, "She's with Christian and Lissa. At some Moroi party. I think Adrian's there too as is Mason so I'm sure he'll be watching his girlfriend." That last bit, girlfriend, burned me a little. I nodded, "Thanks."

"Aren't you going to go after her?" she asked. "No," I shook my head. "I think I'd like to stay here for a little while." She smiled, "Great."

Chapter 13
I spent about an hour at Tasha's just hanging out and talking. She didn't press me about being in love with another woman any longer, nor did she do any more obvious flirting. We did watch TV though, sort of and talk about our old times. It was casual but nice and I felt like I could almost be open with her. Finally, I left because I was sure someone would come looking for me. I promised Tasha that I'd play pool with her and some of her friends the following day and made some more rounds before going to bed. Tomorrow would be a big shift day. The following day I received a message that I was needed in Janine Hathaway's room to discuss the attack again as I was making my rounds. I was actually supposed to be off for the rest of the day, but well, when there was a massive Strigoi group out on the loose, I had to put everything aside. I was walking towards the wing where Janine would be when I heard someone say, "Ladies, ladies. No need to fight over me." I immediately remembered that tantalizing voice, damn Ivashkov. Probably with some other girls. Good maybe he'd leave Rose alone now. Then I heard Rose's voice, "We're not. I just want to know what's going on here." God dammit. Mother fucker. Did she have to be with him? "Me too." I answered as I came to the door. God fucking dammit. She was basically in his room, basically fighting with another girl over him. What the hell? Rose jumped at my voice and her eyes widened when she saw me. Good I hoped I looked scary.

I expected this sort of behavior from Rose, but as I walked in past Rose into the room to see who the other girl was, I was a little shocked to see Lissa. I doubted it was like that, Lissa couldn't keep her hands off Christian. Plus, Rose and Lissa wouldn't be fighting over a guy. And Lissa didn't really get into much trouble. I looked between the three of them and immediately stated, looking at Adrian the entire time, "Male and female students aren't supposed to be in each other's rooms." It wasn't exactly the coolest or threatening remark, but it was the most logical thing for me to say. "How do you keep doing this?" asked a frustrated Rose. "Do what?" asked Adrian innocently, the nerve. "Keep making us look bad!" exclaimed Rose. Maybe because you keep hanging out with him. Maybe Rose you shouldn't hang out with idiots. Adrian chuckled. He fucking chuckled. "You guys are the ones who came here." "You shouldn't have let them in," I immediately interjected. I knew somewhere deep inside that Adrian had a point, but right now, I didn't care. "I'm sure you know the rules at St. Vladimir's," I continued sounding like I was a hundred. Adrian shrugged. "Yeah, but I don't have to follow any school's stupid rules." "Perhaps not," I answered coldly but I can make you I wanted to add, but instead, I answered strategically, "But I would have thought you'd still respect those rules." Adrian rolled his eyes at that. "I'm kind of surprised to find you lecturing about underage girls." He crossed the line right then. I swear, I was ready to show this asshole why he should stay away from my Rose. I kept my face composed though, never revealing anything. Never revealing how I felt. I knew that he had heard the other day and I didn't like that being thrown in my face, but what else could I say. I'm not trying to take advantage of her; I'm just a pedophile teacher who is in love with his personal student. I did have to clench my fists to keep the shaking from being apparent though. It was the only thing that revealed any sort of emotions. "Besides," continued Adrian, "Nothing sordid was going on. We were just hanging out." Really. I'm sure that was your intention. When a Moroi invites a Dhampir girl to his room, it isn't just to hang out.

"If you want to 'hang out' with young girls, do it at one of the public areas," I retaliated. If nothing bad was going to happen, why the hell did he bring them to his room? A little silent voice in my head pointed out that they sort of had come here, but I shushed it. I was beyond reason right now. Adrian laughed just then, a weird kind of laugh, one that a psychopath makes at a mental institution. "Young girls? Young girls? Sure. Young and old at the same time. They've barely seen anything in life, yet they've already seen too much. One's marked with life, and one's marked with death...but they're the ones you're worried about? Worry about yourself, dhampir. Worry about you, and worry about me. We're the ones who are young." I didn't really know how to react to that. One minute he was an annoying asshole and the next he became this unstable psycho. Who let the nutcase out the hospital? Adrian then seemed to compose himself. He looked like that perfectly normal asshole again and turned away and strolled toward the window, glancing casually back at the rest of us as he pulled out his cigarettes. "You ladies should probably go. He's right. I am a bad influence." I didn't want him to use that for his advantage. But frankly, a few more minutes in that room and I'd probably be arrested for seriously injuring the Queen's nephew. I saw Lissa and Rose exchange looks and both of them hurriedly followed me down the hall to the lobby. Finally, Rose broke the silence. I knew she couldn't possibly last very long. The girl couldn't keep her mouth shut for five whole minutes. "That was...strange," Rose commented. I missed my Rose. Always the one to break that awkward silence. "Very," I agreed a little taken aback. Maybe Rose you should consider this situation and never associate with Ivashkov again. Wishful thinking, dhampir, a fantasy, I noted. Damn, was I calling myself Dhampir now. That was stupid. Maybe I should call Adrian Moroi from now on. What an idiot.

A little more space though allowed for some clear thinking and I realized, the truth was I was being a little unfair. Sure, female and male students weren't allowed in each other's rooms, but it wasn't that serious and we weren't stupid. We knew it happened all the time and I had sort of over reacted. But as wrong as it was, as dumb as it was, I still sort of felt that Rose belonged to me and that I needed to protect that at all costs. It wasn't fair but, I was just trying to keep her safe. Honestly, I was hoping I could just talk to the girl. Rose started to follow Lissa but I called and stopped her, "Rose," he said. "Can I talk to you?" Rose turned towards me and stepped off to the side as to not block traffic. There were still a ton of Moroi leaving the lodge thinking that they weren't safe here they had Strigoi paranoia written all over their faces. I snapped Rose's head away from the Moroi family, god dammit would it kill her to look at me, "That's Adrian Ivashkov," I began. Here comes the big lecture. Try to leave you can't hang out with him because I'm afraid you'll fall for him or he'll touch a hair on you out of it D. "Yeah, I know," she answered. Smart ass. "This is the second time I've seen you with him," I replied, hoping she'd tell me that it was just those two times, that she never really hangs out with him. Instead, she answered, "Yeah. We hang out sometimes." She said it like it was the most normal thing. I arched an eyebrow, looking at the room we had just come from, "You hang out in his room a lot?" Had I had my eyes closed? Because I swear, if she said yes right then I'd fucking kill Adrian. If she slept with him, I'd be left with no other choice. Rose contemplated for a few seconds before responding with confidence, "What happens between him and me is none of your business," managing the exact tone I had used when Rose made the comment about Tasha and me. That felt like acid being thrown back in my face. "Actually, as long as you're at the Academy, what you do is my business," I retorted. I knew I wasn't entirely right, but fuck it. There was no way I'd let her whore herself out to Adrian Ivashkov, some guy that was just using her.

"Not my personal life. You don't have any say in that," Rose retorted. "You're not an adult yet," I answered back, if she wanted to be a kid, I could be too. "I'm close enough. Besides, it's not like I'll magically become an adult on my eighteenth birthday," she answered. "Clearly," I answered back. I could play this game all night and win. Keep it coming little Roza. I had the pleasure of watching her blush, "That's not what I meant. I meant-" "I know what you meant. And the technicalities don't matter right now. You're an Academy student. I'm your instructor. It's my job to help you and to keep you safe. Being in the bedroom of someone like him ... well, that's not safe." Especially not for him, I added silently. "I can handle Adrian Ivashkov," Rose muttered. "He's weird- really weird, apparently-but harmless." Really? Like he isn't trying to sleep with you? She was so nave. "Speaking of personal lives ..." Rose continued, "I suppose you were off visiting Tasha, huh?" Rose suddenly said switching the subject. I guess I deserved that, "Actually, I was visiting your mother," I explained. "You going to hook up with her too?" Rose asked. I ignored that and just gave her a weary glance, now she was acting like a jealous ten year old, "No, we were looking over some new data about the Strigoi in the Drozdov attack." Rose's expression changed from anger and snarkiness to compassion and concern, "What'd you find out?" she asked quietly. "We've managed to track some of the Strigoi," I said. "Or at least the humans with them. There were witnesses who lived nearby who spotted a few of the cars the group used. The plates were all from different states-the group appears to have split up, probably to make it harder for us. But one of the witnesses did catch one plate number. It's registered to an address in Spokane." "Spokane?" Rose asked incredulously. "Spokane,Washington? Who makes Spokane their hideout?" "Strigoi, apparently," I answered, deadpan. I'd never actually been there. "The address was fake, but other evidence shows they really are there. There's a kind of shopping plaza that has some underground tunnels. There've been Strigoi sightings around that area."

"Then ..." Rose frowned. "Are you going to go after them? Is somebody going to? I mean, this is what Tasha's been saying all along.... If we know where they are ..." I shook his head. "The guardians can't do anything without permission from higher up. That's not going to happen anytime soon." I wanted to go after the Strigoi, but the Moroi were a little dumb when it came to this sort of thing. Rose sighed. "Because the Moroi talk too much." Our thoughts linked. I needed to be the adult though. "They're being cautious," I answered, not really buying into all this Moroi crap. If it were up to me we'd all go after them and kill every single one. Rose got worked up once again, "Come on. Even you can't want to be careful on this one. You actually know where Strigoi are hiding out. Strigoi who massacred children. Don't you want to go after them when they don't expect it?" "It's not that easy," I tried to explain suddenly feeling like a coward. "We answer to the Guardian Council and the Moroi government. We can't just run off and act on impulse. And anyway, we don't know everything yet. You should never walk into any situation without knowing all the details." "Zen life lessons again," Rose sighed. Ouch, she had to stop with that crap. She then ran a finger through her hair and I couldn't help but notice how incredibly sexy she looked as she did that. I felt my heart rate increase, all this testosterone was starting to get to me. "Why'd you tell me this, anyway? This is guardian stuff. Not the kind of thing you let novices in on," Rose noted. I considered what she said and she was right. I wasn't supposed to be telling her, but well, I sort of saw her as my equal, why shouldn't she know? I thought back to the things I said and immediately tried to apologize, "I've said a few things...the other day and today...that I shouldn't have. Things that insulted your age. You're seventeen...but you're capable of handling and processing the same things those much older than you do." "Really?" she asked all giddy. Did she have to be so damn adorable? I nodded trying to mask my feelings, "You're still really young in a lot of ways- and act young-but the only way to really change that is to treat you like an adult. I need to do that more. I know you'll take this information and understand how important it is and keep it to yourself." Rose looked really happy then, that was until a voice called "Dimka," immediately I recognized Tasha's voice. She walked up to use and smiled at Rose.

I sort of felt a little angry that she was disrupting our moment but it quickly faded. "Hello, Rose." Tasha said. "Hey," Rose said flatly clearly no longer happy. Tasha placed a hand on my forearm, sliding her fingers on my leather coat. Rose's eyes seemed glued to Tasha's hand, I should be seriously concerned about this. But honestly, it was nice to know that Rose still cared and wasn't head over heels for that idiot Adrian. "You've got that look," Tasha said, getting my attention. "What look?" I asked smiling; I knew exactly what she meant. "That look that says you're going to be on duty all day." Tasha explained. "Really? I have a look like that?" I teased back. Tasha nodded. "When does your shift technically end?" "An hour ago," I answered. "You can't keep doing this," Tasha groaned. "You need a break." "Well ... if you consider that I'm always Lissa's guardian..." I tried to justify. "For now," Tasha said knowingly. "There's a big pool tournament going on upstairs." "I can't," I said, still smiling, realizing that I really did want to go, "Even though I haven't played in a long time ..." "Come on, then," Tasha begged. "Just one round! We could take them all." "I can't," I repeated unfortunately. "Not with everything going on." That seemed to sober Tasha a little if there was such a thing. "No. I suppose not." Glancing at Rose, she said teasingly, "I hope you realize what a hard-core role model you have here. He's never off duty." "Well," Rose answered, copying Tasha's lilting tone from earlier, "For now, at least." Tasha looked puzzled. I however, knew exactly was Rose was doing she was trying to make fun of Tasha and whatever progress she had just made completely flew out the window. Tasha had been absolutely nothing but nice to her and she didn't deserve to be treated like that regardless of how Rose felt.

"We're finished here, Rose. Remember what I said," I immediately asserted. She was back to acting like I ten year old. "Yeah," Rose said, "Definitely," and walked away. "That was weird," Tasha noted when Rose was out of ear shot. "What was?" I asked. "The way Rose " she began, "Nothing, it was probably just in my head. So can you really not come hang out?" "No, I would love to but I really have to handle this. Maybe later?" I tried to make her feel better. "Yeah, I'd like that. Just come by," Tasha answered. "Well I better go," I told her. She kissed me on the cheek, "See you later Dimka!" I smiled back, "Bye Tasha," and headed towards Janine's room for a dreadful day of going over the details of the Badica and Drosdov attacks.

Chapter 14
We went over the details a million times, what had happened during the attacks and taking every angle even though it didn't really get us anywhere. The truth of the matter was what no one really wanted to admit and said in harsh whispers was that the Strigoi were working with humans which meant hiding behind wards wasn't going to cut it. I was getting pretty annoyed because the truth was I felt just like Rose. I wanted to go to Spokane with a team and eliminate these murderous Strigoi which would continue to feed on the innocent. They were something so unnatural, so repulsive and needed to be wiped off the world. It wasn't right; we lived our whole lives trying to protect our Moroi to protect both the Dhampir and Moroi race. But the reality was, while Moroi and Dhampir numbers were declining, Strigoi numbers were at an all time high. Tasha was right. Things should be how they were in the old days. It didn't make sense for Moroi to not use magic against Strigoi, considering all they could accomplish. Janine continued on about the "incident" and I sort of tuned her out. Everything was just getting really messy right now. Rose was angry with me, sort of. All we ever did anymore was fight. It angered me because all I really wanted was to be with her and it tormented me, knowing, that it just would never be.

"Dimitri?" Janine suddenly asked catching my attention immediately. "Yes?" I answered. "Will you be able to attend the Pricilla's banquet tonight, we are short of staff and we want the most Guardian numbers there?" she insisted. I was technically supposed to be off my shift, and Tasha was going to kill me, but I said, "Of course," because that's what we're supposed to do. They come first had been drilled in my head since as long as I can remember. I quickly got dressed into the typical black attire Guardians wear after that and headed for the banquet. It seemed like all Moroi royals ever did was go to these sorts of parties. They hardly ever even worked. It must be nice being able to do whatever the hell you want and be free to date whoever you want. It must be nice to come first. I quickly got to the banquet and tried to blend in with the other Guardians, do that thing where we're there but not really there. It's a little hard when you're 6'7" but I tried my best. I was simply keeping an eye on things when I saw that idiot Adrian walking around. Could I ever be free of this bastard? There goes the mental patient. He walked by and nodded. What an idiot? Wanting the same girl didn't put us at some type of equal respect for the opponent. I noticed his expression change though from a knowing smart ass to an excited one eyes widened. I noticed a few other guys do the same and quickly turned to see what was causing the commotion. Better yet who. Rose walked in accompanied by Lissa and there was no wonder why they were staring. For once, Rose wasn't in her normal jeans and t-shirt and pony tail. She was actually wearing make-up and I could tell she actually brushed her hair really nice this time. She wore the dress that Tasha had gotten her and I had been right in warning Tasha that getting that dress for Rose would attract too many eyes mine were practically glued. As she walked past people turned around to stare at her. Rose was always extremely beautiful but today she was drop dead gorgeous. While the dress she had on covered a lot of skin with its high neck, the material clung to her body exposing every single curve making her look dead sexy especially in a room with a bunch of anorexic Moroi girls. I wouldn't have minded her wearing the dress if it was just us. I mentally cursed myself for thinking that way.

I really needed to get it into my head that Rose was something that I would never have. They all then sat for dinner and my stomach grumbled at seeing so much food. I was starving having not had the chance to eat and I just wanted to walk over and steal a plate but that would be inappropriate. Some Moroi would have a bitch fit but hey how much do you really have to eat when you're that skinny. After dinner I expected Rose and Lissa to leave, but they didn't. Instead, Lissa seemed to go mingle with the other royal guests while Rose, for once, seemed quiet and out of place. Well, with that red dress she shown like the fourth of July in a black and white room. At least I got to enjoy to watch Rose, I had barely seen her these past few days and I could hardly stand it. In fact, all that we had been doing was fighting for the past few weeks and truthfully, I really missed her. She might be a kid but she understood me better than probably anybody else. My innermost desires she wore on her sleeve and it was nice to be with someone so real. So ready to conquer the world and say this is who I am, take it or fuck off. I noticed Lissa talked to the other royals while Rose slowly slipped away to the back of the room. It was the first time I ever saw Rose be almost shadowed by someone else. For once, all the attention was on Lissa and not her. I wonder how Rose felt about that. It was tough to get used to but she was just going to have to. My eyes continued to follow Rose, they couldn't help it. I noticed that she stopped a waitress going around with snacks on a tray and begin talking to her, I think asking about the food. Then I saw psychopath cut across the room clearly eyeing his prey. Goddamit. What the hell did I saw about Adrian Ivashkov? Rose better walk away right now or I'll make her. She didn't walk away there, she just continued to talk to him. Everything started to burn inside of me, it wasn't just that she was talking to another guy, it was that I think she really did like Adrian. She was all smiles and giddy around him. She'd smile seductively and flirt. It wasn't like with Mason, that attraction was clearly one sided, this was something more. Suddenly, the thought of Rose being with someone else made me want to rip someone's throat. It wasn't in the least bit reasonable, but blame in on testosterone or whatever messed up thing, I didn't want Roza anywhere near that idiot. I'd say I had the biggest look of bloody murder in the world right now, that was until I saw Janine Hathaway's face. Something told me the fact that her daughter was flirting with Adrian Ivashkov didn't please her anymore than it did me. Good someone else on my side.

When a waiter passed by and Adrian grabbed two drinks, one for him and one for Rose I think it was the breaking point. The minute that Rose took a sip of champagne; I saw a vein pop out of Janine's forehead a little further. Adrian got closer, too close and I swear I was about to yank Rose right out of the room except Janine beat me to the punch. She cut across the room and yelled, "Rose!" voice filled with sharpness. A few people stared at the commotion since most Guardians never even existed on their radars but they didn't dare say a word. Nothing like an angry mother. The little short woman -five feet and all stormed up like a category five hurricane. I moved closer because I seriously wanted to hear this. "What do you think you're doing?" Janine demanded to Rose. "Nothing, I-" Rose began. That wasn't going to work on Janine though, it wasn't like she had a soft spot for the girl. "Excuse us, Lord Ivashkov," growled Janine and grabbed Rose by the arm jerking her out of the room. Dammit I was going to miss this. Well, at least asshole hadn't gotten away this time. Now it was my turn. I walked over to Adrian then as he stared at the doorway, amusement written all over his face. "I thought I told you to stay away from Rose," I said, voice not loud enough for anyone to hear, but menacing in all the sense. While Adrian wasn't short in the least, I still had a good five inches on him and I could basically look down to talk to him. I hoped it added a fear factor. "Oh Dhampir, what's the matter? Don't want to let your cub make her own decisions?" "Excuse me?" I asked.

"Look, men who treat women abusively in their relationships can face some serious jail time. Trying to control her isn't going to work," he continued, smile all over his face. Sure he felt real comfortable in this environment. "I don't know what you're talking about, but you need to stay away from my student." "Why? Because I'm too old for her?" he teased, then whispered, "Hypocrisy at his finest." "No, because you're just another royal Moroi trying to take advantage of a Dhampir girl," I answered. "How do you know that? Maybe I really do care about her? I'm not the one running around with another woman, then coming back and trying to control Rose. Seems to me that you're the one with the bad intentions," he continued. "You're an idiot. Stay away from Rose," I said noticing that some of the other Guardians were growing wary of our little interaction. Janine came back then and I went to meet her. "What were you and Lord Ivashkov speaking about?" she asked immediately. "I just told him he should stay away from Rose," I answered truthfully. "Good," she answered. "So how'd she take it?" I asked. "As usual. Melodramatic. Insisted that I was causing a scene, went on about how bad of a mother I am," she answered. "Would you mind if I went and spoke to her?" I asked. "Not at all, just, try to get her to see reason. Try to get her to understand me. I'm not trying to ruin her fun, I care about my daughter and I don't want her to end up making the same mistakes I made," Janine answered. I nodded and walked out the door. I couldn't find Rose immediately but knowing her; she'd probably go where she wasn't supposed to. I tried a few doors and finally went one where the hall ended and that there were some stairs and then a door. I saw her then, sitting on a ventilation system covered with snow and arms wrapped around herself, clearly freezing her ass off. I immediately took my coat off and placed it on her shoulders and then sat down, "You must be freezing," I commented. "The sun's out." Rose assured.

I looked up then, realizing that it'd been a while since I got some sunlight. "It is," I admitted. "But we're still on a mountain in the middle of winter." Rose didn't answer. Instead, we sat there in a comfortable silence for a while. Occasionally, a light wind blew clouds of snow around. It was night for Moroi, and most would be going to bed soon, so the ski runs were quiet. "My life is a disaster," Rose finally said breaking the silence. "It's not a disaster," I said automatically. "Did you follow me from the party?" "Yes." "I didn't even know you were there." Must be hard to miss when your all busy looking at pretty boy Ivashkov. "So you saw the illustrious Janine cause a commotion by dragging me out," Rose continued. "It wasn't a commotion. Hardly anyone noticed. I saw because I was watching you," I admitted, wondering if I should have let slip the last part. That's not what she said," Rose responded angrily, clearly unaffected by the admission, "I might as well have been working a corner as far as she was concerned." "She's just worried about you," I assured her. "She overreacted." "Sometimes mothers are overprotective." Rose then stared at me for a brief moment. "Yeah, but this is my mother. And she didn't seem that protective, really. I think she was more worried I'd embarrass her or something. And all that becoming-a-mother-too-young stuff was stupid. I'm not going to do anything like that." "Maybe she wasn't talking about you," I said. Rose didn't say anything after that and just seemed to contemplate that fact, I guessed she hadn't really thought of it like that. Finally, she sighed sounding very tired. "We aren't fighting right now." Rose finally blurted out, out of the blue. I gave her a sidelong look. "Do you want to fight?" "No. I hate fighting with you. Verbally, I mean. I don't mind in the gym."

I wanted to smile at that, but I tried to contain myself."I don't like fighting with you either," I admitted. "You should take it," Rose said suddenly. I flinched. "What?" Did that mean, she didn't love me anymore? Had she really fallen for someone else? Had us really meant nothing to her. "Tasha's offer. You should take her up on it. It's a really great chance," Rose elaborated. Or maybe, maybe she was willing to sacrifice what she wanted, for me. "I never expected to hear you say anything like that," I told her, voice tight. "Especially after-" "What a bitch I've been? Yeah." Rose said, tugging at my coat. And then I realized something, she'd only acted that way because she was jealous. "Well. Like I said, I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want us to hate each other. And...well ..." Rose squeezed her eyes shut and then opened them. "No matter how I feel about us ... I want you to be happy." The made my chest ache. This whole time I'd been doubting our love but there it was, out in the open, Rose loved me as much as I loved her. This new realization emboldened me and I reached out and put my arm around her. I pulled Rose close to me, and she rested her head on my chest. "Roza," was all I could manage to saw.. It was the first time I'd really touched her since the lust charm night. I realized then that I could never feel about anyone the way I felt about Rose. Could something be so wrong?When it felt like the most natural thing in the world. I wanted to stay like this forever. Rose had other plans though. She reluctantly, I must note, pulled away and hanged me my jacket. I noticed her unease and regarded her curiously. What the hell was going on in the pretty little head of hers. "Where you going?" I asked. "To break someone's heart," Rose replied. We stared at each other for one more moment, and I realized then that I had to do the same thing. Because the truth was, I could never love anyone else again. Not after I felt this way for Rose and leading Tasha on was completely wrong.

Chapter 15

I was a little satisfied with the transaction that just happened. Rose and I were actually getting along in what seemed like forever and I realized that she still obviously cared for me, not in some selfish school crush way, but she was completely in love with me because she put my interest before hers. How could I ever walk away from that? It was really time for me to talk to Tasha. It wasn't right to keep treating her that way giving her false hope when all I felt was friendship towards her. I went back to my room to contemplate on what to do about the situation. Later, I received a telegram to meet Guardian Hathaway once more. Fucking dammit, I cursed silently in Russian. Could a man ever sleep? I bet we were just going to go over the same damn stupid details again, not doing anything like wussies. Jeeze, Rose was having a bad influence on me. I guess it was because of what she had said before; she sort of made me feel I don't know, incompetent. Useless almost or well that she expected better of me. Not everyone has as much courage to do whatever they feel like as she does. Oh Roza, how I missed her already. I just wanted to hold her in my arms. She was right though, we should go attack the Strigoi before they attack us. The truth is though; it would kill me to ever have Rose in the way of any danger. I walked in the room though and recognized that look. It was the look of a mother concerned for her child; it was written all over her face and suddenly my heart sank. "What happened?" I asked immediately feeling my adrenaline kick in. "Rose is missing," she began, I felt like I couldn't breathe. "Along with Christian Ozera, another Moroi named Mia Ronaldi and the two novices, Eddie Castile and Mason Ashford. They left in two separate groups. The first group was Mia, Eddie and Mason and we believe that the Moroi girl may have used compulsion to get out after interrogating the Guardian on watch. Later Rose and Christian left, they didn't use compulsion however, and instead Rose assaulted the Guardian by hitting him across the head and knocking him unconscious." Her voice was hard, but I could see in her expression how troubled she felt. Normally, I think she'd be angry at her daughter for hitting a Guardian, it was a serious offense but right now, all I saw was deep concern for her daughter's welfare. I didn't understand it at all though. Why would Roza leave? Especially after the conversation we'd just had.

She left and I asked where she was going, and she answered to break someone's heart. Who's heart? I wondered. Adrian, I hoped, if he even had a heart. Mason, maybe, she didn't want him. Or worse and all the more devastating me. Maybe she left because of me. My stomach sank. What if Rose had left the Academy so that I would choose Tasha's offer. A thousand thoughts were going through my head. Janine interrupted my thoughts thought, "Guardian Belikov, do you have any idea where they would have gone? Why they left? Why Rose left?" I had lost the ability to speak for a moment as a terrifying thought crossed my mind, what if I never found her? "No," I answered, it was all I could manage. I had to snap out of it. I had to find Rose. Suddenly, everything in the room was just shaking. And just like that, my mind woke up, determined to find Rose. "They couldn't have gotten far; I know there's a bus station close by. I'm sure they might have some information." Then I made an observation, "What about the Princess? Did she go with them?" "No," she answered flatly. That was bizarre. Rose would never leave Lissa. So why had she left? What had gone wrong? And why had they left in separate groups? Nothing was making sense. "We should go to the bus station," Janine noted. "Of course," I nodded and we headed towards there while some other Guardians continued to go over some details. The bus station was small and more like a transition bus station rather than a big port. In the Moroi world, we could easily interrogate whoever we wanted, no questions asked. Out here though, we had to keep a low profile. The last thing we needed was the human police involved so we had to just work with what we had. There was a man working the bus station tickets and I went to question him.

"Hi, excuse me, I lost my." I thought for a moment and decided for "sister, my mother and I can't seem to find her anywhere, and we're afraid she might have left on the bus, have you seen any teenagers around?" Calling Rose my sister seemed like the most awkward thing to do. I had to remember that we were also looking for the other four idiots, not just Rose. Except, without Rose, there just wasn't anything for me. "Not today," he answered. "Most the people that come here are adults. And honestly, I would've easily noticed teenagers." Janine chimed in then, "Are you sure?" She pulled out a picture of Rose, "That you haven't seen her?" The man studied the picture, "Pretty girl like that, no, I would've remembered her face," he replied. My hope seemed to dwindle. But honestly, there was no way they would've gotten anywhere on foot. "How long have you been working?" I asked. "Sir, that isn't really any of your concern," he replied. My patience diminished, "Look. I need to fucking find my, this girl. So I need to know how long you have been working and when your last shift ended. Understood?" My words came out harsh. Janine seemed to keep her head a little better because she passed a twenty to the man, "Please, sir." Of course the idiot tucked the money away, I came in just a few hours ago, but there really isn't any way to tell where they could have went. Great. "Can I have the details as to where all your ports transfer to. Yes, sure. About fifty different stops, not to mention that they transport to the stops. Great, we weren't really going to achieve any of this. Think Dimitri. Where would you go if you were Rose? I don't know. "This just isn't like Rose," I told Janine. "Dimitri, she tends to do these sort of things. I wouldn't be surprised if she arranged the whole fiasco."

"No," I answered. "I spoke to her just a few hours ago, she was calm. I would've noticed. Besides she's changed, she's not that irresponsible anymore." Maybe Adrian had something to do with this I thought silently. Arranging a questioning with him would be entertaining. Locked doors, no escape for him. "Thanks for your help," Janine finally told the man and we walked away. Janine seemed to be in pensive mode, "Well they couldn't have gotten far if they didn't take the bus. I'll send some other Guardians to check the perimeters. However, with Christian and Mia, the sun would weaken them too much to stay outside. They must have taken a bus somewhere." "Yes, I'm sure they did but where?" "I don't know," she answered. "No," I replied, "But I know who does." Janine nodded and understood that I was speaking about the Princess. Of course she'd fucking know. Now if I just made her tell her, we'd sort this whole mess out before something bad happened to my Roza. Janine was on the phone with Alberta telling her to send Guardians to make rounds. I wanted to punch someone in the face. I could never forgive myself if anything bad happened to Rose. If I hadn't been so stupid, involved with Tasha, if I had been protecting Rose, doing what I was supposed to be doing, none of this would've happened. Instead, I was out being an idiot. With some woman I didn't even feel any feelings towards. When we got back to the Academy we immediately walked to Lissa's room. That part struck me as shocking. Why wouldn't she have gone? And of course she knew. Her best friend and boyfriend just left the lodge with some other friends. She had to know where the hell they went. "She'll know where they went," I told Janine. "She's been interrogated already Dimitri, she said she had no idea where they went" Janine replied. Bullshit. It was all strange though. Why would they leave Lissa behind?

Something was missing. I grabbed at the knob, not bothering to knock, my patience had been obliterated the minute Rose went missing. "Where are they?" I asked immediately voice coming out much harsher than I meant it to. "I don't know," she answered flawlessly, not an ounce of hesitation or lie written on any word. She said it like she'd been saying it over and over again, and I bet that she had. Janine put her hand on my shoulder then and I looked over, "Dimitri, you aren't going to achieve anything like this. Rose and her have always protected each other. Try to approach this in a more strategic way." Janine was right, and I got her drift. I had to keep my head to try to convince Lissa, try to have her see reason. I steadied and calmed my voice and began again. "Lissa, I'm sorry, may we have a conversation with you?" "Yes?" I began, "I know you want to protect them, but we need to know where they are." Lissa sat on the bed, across from us, a look of terror in her eyes as two angry guardians stared her down. "I told you," said Lissa, "I don't know. I don't know what happened." I could tell that she was frustrated but did she seriously think we were that stupid. That Rose and Christian would leave the lodge and not tell her about it. "I can't believe they wouldn't have told you where they were going," said Janine, chiming in with my exact thoughts. While her words sounded flat, I could tell from her face that she was really worried "Especially with your...bond," she continued. "It only works one way," said Lissa sadly. "You know that," she answered looking at me straight in the eye. The initial anger had boiled down a little and now I was really trying to read her. From her expression she looked sort of hurt, almost like she was sad that she'd been left out of something. Could it be true? I knelt down then so I could look her straight in the eye, "Are you sure there's nothing? Nothing at all you can tell us? They're nowhere in town. The man at the bus station didn't see them ... though we're pretty sure that's where they must have gone. We need something, anything to go on." Lissa gritted her teeth at me and glared probably angry and being asked the same questions over and over again. But hey, when your best friend is Rose Hathaway, this sort of uncomfortable things are to be expected.

"Don't you think if I knew, I'd tell you? You don't think I'm worried about them too? I have no idea where they are. None. And why'd they even leave... it doesn't make any sense either. Especially why they'd go with Mia, of all people." A twinge of hurt flickered through her eyes and realized then, unfortunately, that whatever ways I was thinking of torturing Lissa into telling me the truth were going to be useless because she had no idea where they went. Besides the fact that Rose would kill me after. I sighed, leaning back. I had no leads. Nothing to go on. There was nothing I could do but sit around and wait. What if Strigoi found them? I put my head in my hands, so stressed out. I think I was way worse than Janine or Lissa. I just know Rose, and I know that if anything happened, she would throw herself in the way of danger to protect everyone else. Then Lissa said something, "I'm not sure where they are. But I know someone who might be able to help." "What do you mean?" I asked, a little hope rushing towards me. "Adrian Ivashkov," began Lissa. Not that fucking name. "He's a spirit user too." Great, just perfect. "He can dream walk, he might be able to get to Rose and find out where they are Dimitri," Lissa told me. I wondered but Janine didn't look convinced, "That's impossible." "No really," she began. "Dimitri, he can help." The last person I ever wanted to help was Adrian. But honestly, if it meant saving Rose, I'd do anything.

Chapter 16
I'd never thought I'd have to rely on Adrian for anything other than becoming a great punching bag but since I sort of was in desperate need to find Rose, I would have to wait for that. "Are you sure Lissa?" I asked still not really believing Adrian had any other skill than invading my territory. We both were walking towards the Ivashkov wing. "Yes, I'm positive, he can dreamwalk," she explained. "Which is?" I asked. Was I seriously supposed to know what the hell that was? "It's when, well, he can slip into someone's dream. He can find out where they are and then we can find them. He's done it before," she explained.

"Dreamwalked before?" I questioned. I naturally assumed that or else why the hell were we going to him for him. "Yes of course, but I meant he's been in her dreams before," she clarified. Son of a bitch. I suppressed the urge to seriously hurt the mental patient. It's just this whole time; he was going to her fucking dreams. Even if I did lock her up, he could still talk to her. All of this rubbed me the wrong way, as insane and ridiculous and masochistic as it was, I still felt that Roza was mine and some little punk invading my territory well, that just didn't sit right with me. And it really bothered me that he was going to be the one to save her, not me. But as long as she was okay, I could deal with that. All those matters would just have to wait until later. Janine had sort of dismissed the idea, she didn't really believe in Adrian anymore than I did, but I was a little more desperate than her I think. Because the truth was, I didn't think Rose left just to go party with some humans she knew. I believed she might have left because of me, which made finding her all the more difficult. But why the hell did she take all her friends and not Lissa? All of this was starting to give me a major headache. We reached his door and Lissa knocked on the door, ugh last time I was here it was because Rose was in his room. Trying to keep my jealousy feelings in check was going to be hard with all this de ja vu. Adrian came to the door and answered, "Cousin. Any good news?" "No," Lissa answered sadly, "They have no idea where they could have gone." "Huh. Dhampir," he noted. "Moroi," I answered back. Yes I know your specie too dumbass. Lissa looked at us oddly, but I have a feeling she didn't notice anything. I think she was oblivious to Rose's relationship with me, real relationship with me. "Well, come in," Adrian answered and we entered his stupid apartment.

"Have you been able to talk to her?" Lissa asked. "No," Adrian answered and looked at me oddly. "He knows. I told him. Dimitri's the only one that can find Rose and bring her back, just like last time," she explained. "Well sort of," commented Adrian smilingly, I swear I wanted to punch him then as he added mockingly, "But I'm really the one doing the finding." Lissa just smiled and answered, "Yeah," still oblivious to everything. "I can't get to her unless she falls asleep and she hasn't done that yet, which sort of worries me," he explained. "They've been up for a while now, unless they're on the move. I'm sure she'll fall asleep eventually though, and then I'll ask her where she is and then Belikov can do what he does best," he smiled tauntingly, "Take Rose away from the fun, as well as the rest of the group." I understood that double meaning but right now I had to tolerate this asshole. "Why don't you try again?" I asked. "I just did a little while ago, but I will again soon." "Okay," I answered. "Please report back immediately if you find something out, if you really care about Rose." "Of course," he answered, "I want nothing more than Rose brought back to me, thank you Guardian Belikov." I wanted to say that there was no way in hell that after this was over Rose was going to see him again, but I let him keep dreaming for now, since he was my only resort right now. After this, I'd never take my eyes off Rose for one second, not after feeling what it'd be like without her. A terrifying thought crossed my mind, what if I never found her. No I wouldn't let that happen. "Okay," I nodded, and left the room. I don't think I could tolerate any more time in that room without breaking Ivashkov's pretty little face. As I walked out of the room I knocked into Tasha. Fuck. I so did not need this right now. Her eyes were red though and she asked, "Any news on them?" Them. Oh yeah. I'd completely forgotten that it wasn't just Rose that had left and that among the group was Christian.

"I'm sorry Tasha, we'll find them," I told her. She nodded, "I just don't understand why Christian would do such a thing, when Lissa and I are here. Why would he leave with Rose? What if they run into Strigoi, what if the novices can't protect them? I mean, look at how irresponsible they were taking out Moroi out of safety, do you really think they'll protect them." I knew Tasha meant well, and that she was just worried about Christian but all she said just really struck a nerve. It just made me feel like she believed the dhampirs wereexpendible. And less valuable than the Moroi. "No one forced Christian into anything," I retorted. Somewhere in my head I knew that I was being stupid and unfair, but with the entire current situation, everything was weighing me down. And the fact that she thought it was Rose's fault; it just all bothered me completely on a whole new level. "I know, but Rose, if anything, should have known better," she explained. "I mean, I doubt she's ready to risk her life for someone else," Tasha continued. "Well maybe she shouldn't," I answered much harsher than I meant the words to come out. "Excuse me," Tasha said looking up at me. "What?" I exploded. "It's bullshit, no one gives a fuck what happens to the novices, and more importantly what happens to Rose. It's all about the Moroi isn't it, you're such a hypocrite, you say that we shouldn't treat Dhampirs that way, but really you're just like the rest of the Moroi. You think we're expendable," I told her. Tasha then looked at me, I mean really looked at me. Understanding flashed in her eyes all of a sudden. "It's her, isn't it?" was all she said. "What are you talking about?" I asked confused and still obviously worked up. "Rose she's the one you're in love with," she elaborated. I was taken aback; I didn't really know how to answer that, so instead I just said nothing. "Of course," she responded. "It's written all over your face, it's written all over her face. How could I have been so blind?" "I" I didn't really know what to say. "I'm sorry, Tasha." I finally said. She nodded, "That's why you can't be with her right, because of the circumstances." I nodded. "So now you probably think the worst of me, right?" "What? Why? No, it wasn't like you ever really lied to me, you told me you were in love with someone else," she explained.

"Well yeah but, you think that it's wrong, that I'm trying to take advantage of her," I continued. "What? Of course not," Tasha said surprising me. "But I'm seven years older than her, I'm her teacher for Christ's sake," I insisted. "And I'm seven years older than you, doesn't make me a pedophile does it?" she questioned. "Well, no," I continued, "But that's because you're a woman." "That's so masochistic," Tasha called out. "I didn't mean it like that," I explained, "It's just well, no one is going to take advantage of me, but when it's the opposite way around, it's you know like the guy is trying to take advantage of the girl," I explained. "Look, come into my room," Tasha insisted, "We shouldn't talk about this here. And I need to really assert something." I nodded and followed her to her room. "Sit," she ordered. I followed since I knew better than to test a determined woman. "Look. I get it. I get it all. You're in love with Rose. And she's in love with you. It's so crystal clear I can't believe it took me this long to figure out. Now yes, you are a few years older than her, but she is almost eighteen, and graduating. If you love her and its mutual, than be with her. And stop being an idiot and doing what society wants you do, I thought you were tougher than that," Tasha said. "It's not that simple," I tried to explain. "Yes it is, why can't two people who love each other be together?" Tasha argued. "Because we're Guardians. Because the Moroi come first. It isn't because of what society would think I could handle that. What I couldn't handle is putting Lissa in danger because Rose and I were too busy with each other. And honestly, if I had to choose to save one, I'd choose Rose in a heartbeat. It's just not fair to Lissa to have incompetent Guardians when she is in such a dangerous position, being the last Dragomir," I explained. "Well" Tasha continued clearly thinking over what I had just said. "You take your duty way too seriously." I laughed at that and so did she. "There has to be a way though," Tasha insisted. "I don't know, basically, the only way is if one of us resigned Lissa, probably me, but then, we wouldn't really be together."

"And you can't resign being a Guardian all together," Tasha said. It wasn't really a question. She knew the answer to that. When I didn't say anything, she continued, "I see your dilemma. But honestly, think about my advice Dimitri, is protecting the Moroi really more important than your own happiness. At some point, you have to choose yourself." "I know," I asserted. "So do you have any idea why they left?" asked Tasha. "No, not really. Last time I talked to her she left saying she was going to break someone's heart. I assumed it was one of the idiots that are always around her, Adrian or Mason, but I don't know. She told me to take your offer, and I'm scared that she meant me," I explained. "How am I supposed to get her back now?" "Well, if that was true. Why would she take Christian with her? Something's wrong. Are you sure there isn't anything that maybe she said. I mean, why would the two of them leave together, they aren't the best of friends. It sort of seems like the first group left and maybe Christian and Rose went to stop them. I think you're getting yourself paranoid." I nodded, "Maybe." "How long has it been since you slept?" she finally asked. "Or ate, for that matter." "A while. It doesn't matter. I just have to find her, and the rest of them. I'm going to go Tasha, go over the details with Janine," I told Tasha as I walked out the door. "Dimka!" Tasha called and I turned around to face her. "When all this is over don't forget what I said. Everyone deserves to be happy," she explained. I nodded and went to Janine's room. There were other Guardians there and Janine pulled me to the side. "Did you achieve anything?" she asked. I could tell she didn't really buy into the spirit thing, much less Adrian Ivashkov being useful at anything but she was desperate for her daughter too. "No, he says Rose hasn't fallen asleep but he'll keep trying. Hopefully by tomorrow, we'll have some idea." She nodded. "You should get some rest, you look worse than me. You'd swear it really was your sister who went missing." "Right," I laughed. She didn't really get it. Sister? Sister was the last thing I could ever label Rose.

I went back to room and heard my stomach grumble. I was starving, since I hadn't ate anything in a while and I'd been awake for a pretty long time, but there really wasn't any way that I could sleep or eat knowing that Rose wasn't save tonight. Plus, I had a bad feeling in my gut. Something was pressing me telling me that Roza wasn't safe. I spent the next few hours staring at the ceiling feeling like an idiot and completely useless. Somewhere after several hours I heard pounding on the door. I immediately jumped up, hoping it was the news that Rose had come back. But I was never really that lucky. Instead, it was Adrian. Great. Just great. "What do you want?" I asked. This time he was alone and I didn't need to keep up any notions. "Shut up Belikov, you know what I want," he answered. Asshole. "Besides, I have some good news, sort of. Actually it's not that good." My stomach fell. "Did you uh, see her?" I asked. "Yeah, I visited her in our dream just now," he began. I tried not to let that bother me too much. "I finally managed to get through but I couldn't hold on for very long. She started to wake up. I asked her where she was. She seemed really disoriented. Then she finally realized what was going on and said that she was in a basement and that I had to help Mia and Christian, but the dream disintegrated before she could give me her exact location. I'm hoping she'll fall asleep again, or maybe Lissa will have more luck than me, because they have such a big connection." My stomach had sank. All my worst fears had been confirmed. They had run into troubleand I knew what that trouble was. "They must be in some sort of trouble, and I really doubt that it's humans, they'd be able to protect themselves from that. It must be Strigoi," I answered. "I'll have to go relay this to Janine, please, let me know if you find out anything else." Adrian nodded, "I will," and for once we actually shared the same emotion. Concern. There was none of the usual humor in his eyes. I wondered if he really actually cared about Rose then. If it wasn't just him trying to sleep with her. I didn't want to think about that though. I didn't want to feel sorry for the guy. I ran after that to tell Janine what I had learned.

Hopefully, Adrian would be able to manage some more information, before it was too late.

Chapter 17
I told Janine what Adrian had relayed to me which only worried her more. "That can only mean that they've been captured by Strigoi," she told me, her voice sounded devastated. She was no longer the stoic and strong Janine Hathaway, for once, she looked really vulnerable. It was making me lose hope. Plus, all we could do was wait, wait for a phone call or something, something that might never come, or something that'll come too late. What would I do if Roza never came back to me? No, that couldn't happened, not to my Roza. She was so full of life; I knew that she'd be strong enough to face anything. I had to believe that, had to keep hope alive it was all I had left. A few hours later we received a call. It was transferred from the front desk to Janine. I don't know what the other person on the line said, but it was serious because she immediately said, "We'll come now," and got up. I looked at her for some sort of assessment. "They've escaped. They're okay. They're in Spokane, we have to go get them," she spoke quickly and in short sentences. Relief was edged in every word. My legs started to feel like jelly. Please God, I prayed, let them all be okay, let Roza be okay. I immediately moved and calls were made to arrange and airplane. I sat next to Janine and finally managed to choke out, "Who called?" I wasn't entirely sure if I was ready to hear this right now. I hung on to the fact that Janine would be torn apart if they had told her that her daughter was dead, but how much had they really told her anyway? "Mia, she said she was with Christian and Eddie at some gas station. They're all very weak from the starvation I think. She said Rose and Mason had to stay behind, she was frantic, I don't know what this will turn into," she explained. Suddenly, I realized the cloud hadn't just passed over. We weren't in the clear just yet. Of course Rose would sacrifice herself for the Moroi, she would sacrifice herself for anyone, and I was here. The worst part was that I trained her to do that, when I should've been telling her to protect herself. I wasn't much of a religious guy, but for once in my life I decided to pray, pray that Rose would be okay. The plane only took about an hour and a half, but that was the longest hour and a half of my life. We finally managed to grab Christian and Mia, get them emergency food supplies and Eddie to lay down since the Strigoi had been continually feeding off of him.

Pigs. Mia relayed that Rose wouldn't leave Mason's dead body. That she didn't know whether more Strigoi came, but she led us to the house. The entire time I could hardly breathe. I begged God that no Strigoi came back or that she was strong enough to beat them. I wanted to break something with all the anticipation. Finally, we set up some teams. I led the first one that would go into the house. What I saw horrified me. I saw Rose, holding Mason's limp body, the look of death in her eyes. She was completely disoriented; blood everywhere, along with two decapitated Strigoi. I was relieved that she was okay, but the look in her eyes, I didn't think she'd ever get over this. Why hadn't I been paying attention to her? Why did this have to happen to the most wonderful girl in the world? Why my Roza? Some of the Guardians approached her but she screamed, "Stay back, stay away from him." "Stay back!" she yelled again. Something about her voice was frightening and terrifying because everyone froze, they could see that she was seriously powerful with a rusty sword. I think they were even scared of her. I tried to get her to reason. I wasn't scared of her at all. All the innocence was gone from her eyes, but she was still my Roza. I just needed to bring her back. She looked like someone who had seen too much war, too much death. I felt ashamed that I hadn't been able to protect her. I tried to reason with her, everyone else stayed silence as I said, "Rose," while approaching, "Drop the sword." Rose's hand shook though and she just swallowed saying, "Get away from us." That hurt like hell, but I wasn't giving up, I'd never give up on her. "Rose." I spoke again. It was like she didn't even recognize who I was anymore. Had it really been just a few days? I looked her dead in the eyes then and said, "It's okay. Everything's going to be okay. You can let go of the sword." She seemed to be trying to hold on the hilt, "I can't. I can't leave him alone. I have to protect him." The words broke my heart. She was so young.

"You have," I insisted. Something seemed to register at that because she let the sword fall which made a loud clatter on the wooden floor and collapsed on all floors. I wrapped my arms around her protectively and held her up. I didn't let go, I didn't care about appropriate anymore, I was never going to let someone hurt her like this ever again. I moved Rose towards the door but she sort of fought me on it, looking back as she hand clutched my shirt crumpling the fabric. I saw how hurt she was. I would've done anything right then to make her feel better. I kept one arm on her and then smoothed back some of her hair, back away from her face. I was faintly aware of the voices that swarmed around us, but honestly, all I could see now was Rose and feel her safe in my arms. I felt sorry that Mason had been brutally murdered, he was just a kid, but honestly, I was ecstatic that it hadn't been Rose. Losing her would have killed me. Rose leaned her head against me, and I continued stroking her hair and murmuring in Russian, that everything was going to be find. Guardians spread around the house, examining everything and not really noticing Rose's interaction with me. Kneeling besides the decapitated Strigoi bodies, one of the Guardians commented, "She did that? Both of them?" Another added, "That sword hasn't been sharpened in years!" I should have been proud, but right now, all my energy was focused on nursing Rose back to health. Rose made a funny sound, like she could care less about her success or the Guardians praising her and I squeeze Rose's shoulder, letting her know I was here and that I would always protect her. Janine then ordered, "Get her out of here, Belikov. I squeezed Rose's shoulder once more. "Come on, Roza. It's time to go." This time she actually followed as I guided her out of the house, holding on to her with each agonizing step.

I swear I would have picked her up and carried her away in my arms, but she looked so fragile and breakable then I was afraid the abrupt movement would shatter her. Eventually, we ended up back at one of the Academy's jets. The engine roared as the plane took off. I kept an arm around Rose the whole time, holding onto her, letting know that I wouldn't let anyone hurt her again. I knew Janine would want to talk to her daughter eventually, and though I hated to leave Rose's side, I had to be reasonable too. Besides, it wasn't like Strigoi were lurking in the Academy's jets, right? Maybe I should double check, just in case. I told Rose that I'd be right back and that I'd be watching her the whole time and if she needed me to just call out and I went to grab Janine and let her know that her daughter was fine. Mia went and sat next to her as I got up, normally I'd be worried about those two interacting and I was about to make the little girl move but I saw compassion in her eyes and realized she was just trying to comfort Rose. I guess that meant the bitch war was over. I went to Janine and said, "She's fine. She'll be fine." Janine looked back at Rose and seemed a little unsure. The Mia girl walked up then, and I wondered that for a little girl she sure moved fast, "I think she wants to see you," she said looking at Janine. "Of course," Janine responded and went to sit next to her daughter; I went along and sat in the seat behind them. I wasn't trying to spy, but I was sort of being extra over-protective with what had just happened. "Rose," began Janine awkward as ever. "Mia said you wanted to see me." Rose just looked away. I was about to kneel down by her, but it wasn't really my place. "What...what do you need?" continued Janine. Rose looked pensive, and all of a sudden, she broke down. She started sobbing and I went to put my arms around her and hold her but Janine beat me to the punch. Rose's mother put her arms around her and Rose brought her face in her chest. I seriously wanted to break something then; she was so hurt, in so much pain. I couldn't take it. I couldn't stand to see Rose like that, she was so broken. I didn't know if she'd ever heal.

I went into the back of the plane and started punching the bathroom steel door. It wasn't exactly the smartest idea, at least that's what my hand was telling me but I couldn't deal with seeing my precious Roza like that ever. I just wished I'd been able to heal Rose. Eventually, I calmed down and went back to sit across from Rose. Jeeze, who was the mental patient now? Eventually, the plane landed and Rose went off to her room, looking well, dead. I wanted to follow but we had to deal with the death, call Mason's parents and I think Roza really just needed rest. A little unsure feeling arose in my chest that told me not to leave Rose alone, what if something happened to her? But I let it leave me, I couldn't really treat her like she was a little girlcould I? Later I knocked into Janine. She spoke first, "I want to thank you for being so insistent on finding my daughter, and for being there for her," she began. "Of course," I replied. She looked worried. "Take care of her, please, I don't know if anyone else can," she answered. "I will, I promise," I answered. She nodded and walked away. For a naturally stoic person, I'd say she was starting to get pretty attached to her cub.

Chapter 18
A few days later the molnija ceremony arrived. Rose would be awarded the tattoos for the kills she'd made. I'd been looking for her, but every time I saw her she'd been moping around and there really wasn't much I could do. Plus she'd sort of pulled away from me; it was like she didn't want to be alone with me. It sort of broke my heart but I had to try. I wasn't giving up that easy. I was just hoping she'd forgive me for the whole Tasha thing. I was such an idiot. I should have been minding Rose and none of this would have happened. When Tasha left we said a small goodbye. I was too focused on Rose for anything and she told me to remember what she had said. I knew that her feelings were somewhat hurt but there really wasn't anything I could do about that.

I was going to tell Roza that it was time for her party but Janine interrupted me and told me that'd she'd go. I wanted to say NO, I'LL GO! YOU'VE GOTTEN HER ALL WEEK. But instead I said fine because I'm supposed to be a reasonable person and none an obsessed teacher in love with his minor student. Finally, we all gathered, well all the Guardians on campus around the building's main meeting room in clusters. No one really spoke; I think most of us we pretty sensitive to death still. Killing wasn't something to be taken lightly, even if it was Strigoi. Rose still looked really distant, clearly not over what had happened, but she was healing. She'd be okay, I realized. I was a little nervous for her to receive the marks because I knew the tattoos would hurt and the last thing I wanted was for her to be in any pain but she's just killed two Strigoi, I was pretty sure she could handle small tattoos. Plus I couldn't treat her like she was a little girl, she'd probably end up beating me up. Finally, once the tattoos were finished, the Guardians came up one by one to give their own affection. I didn't really know what to say, because I couldn't say anything that could really explained how I felt, a mixture of pride and uneasiness and compassion, so I just looked at her and we shared one of those precious moments. I swear it was like sometimes we didn't even need words. She seemed to understand the message I was trying to convey because I noticed her eyes start to tear as she looked at me. Damn. I didn't want that reaction. I put one hand gently on her cheek, wishing I could grab her and kiss her, hold her and protect her, but I had to walk away. I had to be here for Rose and try to not get fired, but maybe after graduation, I don't know. Maybe Tasha was on to something. I couldn't imagine putting anyone before Roza? And, I wasn't so sure I could stay away from Roza. Once we were done with that, the drinks and food was served. It was pretty much the only time Guardians received their own sort of party. I kept my eyes on Rose and for once noticed she didn't eat much at the buffet. That worried me. Luckily, I had gained my own appetite back and had actually to make up for a lot since I hadn't really eaten much when Roza went missing. I didn't get a chance to talk to Rose after the group dispersed, but I could tell she was actually relieved when it was over. Who knew Rose would ever be sad to have her own party end? Except, that worried me. Damn, I was turning into an old man.

Later I had to make rounds and I saw Adrian accepting a stupid bouquet of flowers at the front of the school from a delivery boy. Those better not be for Rose I said silently to myself. "Getting ready to leave?" I asked gleefully. At least I'd be rid of him soon. "Actually," Adrian began; fuck me, "I'll be staying." "Sorry Adrian, but you already finished high school, in case you can't remember. That's okay though, it happens to unsteady people all the time," I explained. "Well, I need to practice spirit with Lissa. You know you're charge the one you're actually supposed to be paying attention to. It's a good thing because that way I'll be seeing plenty of Rose. Bet she'll love these flowers," he said and started to walk away. I would have seriously hurt him then but he had sort of helped when Rose went missing so I couldn't completely be a jealous asshole. "We'll see," I answered. "Besides," he continued, "Shouldn't you be leaving with the Ozera girl?" How the hell did he know about that? Now he sounded disappointed and I actually managed to same tone he had used, "No, I won't be going, I NEED to keep an eye on Rose. Come to think of it, I don't really see myself leaving Rose, ever," I answered. "Right," he smiled. "Well, I like a challenge," he said and then walked away really fast like a fucking coward. Great, like I needed this fucking asshole. I couldn't completely hate him though. I was just sort of mad because I had barely seen Rose and it was almost like she was keeping her distance. Plus, I was worried that she might fall for this idiot. But really, that wasn't my Roza. What we had was real? Her feelings weren't flippant were they? Jesus Christ I sounded like an insecure teenage girl. I went to the practice room after that. It was time for the usual practice with Rose but I didn't think she'd show, I wouldn't let her practice anyway but I was just sort of hoping she's drop by. I brought my novel and started reading, hoping that God might throw this dog a bone and bring my Princess.

Suddenly, Rose sprang out into the supply room wearing her work out clothes. She caught me reading and I immediately looked up. Maybe I should seriously start praying. It'd been so long since I had her all alone to myself, and now everything had changed. I didn't really know what to say, so I just blurted out the first observation that came to mind, like an idiot, "I thought you might come by," I said, placing the bookmark in my novel. "It's time for practice," Rose explained like it was the most natural thing in the world. Yeah right. I shook my head."No. No practice today. You still need to recover." "I've got a clean bill of health. I'm good to go," Rose teased putting on as much patented Rose bravado into her words. I wasn't buying any of that and simply gestured to the chair beside me, "Sit down, Rose." She hesitated for a moment, and I didn't really get where this was coming from. She tried to sit distantly and I didn't get it. I moved my chair closer so that we sat directly across each other, close enough to stare at those gorgeous eyes that I'd longed for. She meant everything to me. I tried to give out some wisdom, hoping that she wouldn't go into one of her temper tantrums and tell me I try to give Zen lessons, "No one gets over their first kill...kills...easily. Even with Strigoi...well, it's still technically taking a life. That's hard to come to terms with. And after everything else you went through ..." I sighed, God I wanted to hold her hand. So I did. I reached out and grabbed her hand holding it. She looked down and I had the pleasure of seeing her blush, seeing that I still had the power to do that. "When I saw your face...when we found you in that house...you can't imagine how I felt." I tried to explain. It was like a little part of me died when I saw the light go out from her eyes. Rose swallowed,"How ... how did you feel?" "Devastated ... grief-stricken. You were alive, but the way you looked ... I didn't think you'd ever recover. And it tore me apart to think of that happening to you so young." I squeezed her hand. "You will recover-I know that now, and I'm glad. But you aren't there. Not yet. Losing someone you care about is never easy." Her eyes dropped from mine and studied the floor. "It's my fault," she said in a small voice.

"Hmm?" I questioned. How the hell did she think that? She did everything she could? She killed two Strigoi. "Mason. Getting killed." I felt horrible, it broke my heart. "Oh, Roza. No. You made some bad decisions...you should have told others when you knew he was gone...but you can't blame yourself. You didn't kill him." He's the idiot that got you in the mess in the first place. Tears filled her eyes though,"I might as well have. The whole reason he went there-it was my fault. We had a fight...and I told him about the Spokane thing, even though you asked me not to...." I had forgotten that I had told her that and realized why she blamed herself. I guess I just figured Mason had overheard it from someone. The poor girl. I understood why she would blame herself now but it wasn't really her fault at all. Mason was an impulsive idiot for trying to attack the Strigoi. I wiped a near from the corner of her eye and tried to explain to her, "You can't blame yourself for that. You can regret your decisions and wish you'd done things differently, but in the end, Mason made his decisions too. That was what he chose to do. It was his decision in the end, no matter your original role." Rose pondered that for a minute before answering, "I just wish I'd been able to ... I don't know, do anything..." I could tell she was fighting to keep from breaking down again. But instead, she pulled her hands away and stood up, "I should go," she said thickly. "Let me know when you want to start practice again. And thanks for ... talking." Then I got it. Rose was staying away because of Tasha. She probably thought that I'd taken her offer. So I said abruptly, "No," before she could get any further. Rose glanced back. "What?" I held my gaze, and suddenly I felt warm all over, knowing that I had made the right choice because even being around her like this, was worth it, even just to see her, even if I never got to hold her. It was better than being with someone else that I didn't truly love. How could I ever love anyone else? "No," I repeated. "I told her no. Tasha." "I ..." Rose began. "But...why? That was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. You could have had a baby. And she ... she was, you know, into you...." I slightly smiled, "Yes, she was. Is. And that's why I had to say no. I couldn't return that...couldn't give her what she wanted. Not when..." I took a few steps toward Rose. "Not when my heart is somewhere else." Rose looked like she was about to cry again and I wanted to punch myself in the face. Had I been hurting her that badly?

"But you seemed so into her. And you kept going on about how young I acted." "You act young," I said, "because you are young. But you know things, Roza. Things people older than you don't even know. That day ..." I think she knew, the day she called me out on the facade I put on, my self-control. "You were right, about how I fight to stay in control. No one else has ever figured that out- and it scared me. You scare me." "Why? Don't you want anyone to know?" Rose questioned. I could think of a thousand reasons but instead I just shrugged. "Whether they know that fact or not doesn't matter. What matters is that someone-that you-know me that well. When a person can see into your soul, it's hard. It forces you to be open. Vulnerable. It's much easier being with someone who's just more of a casual friend." "Like Tasha," Rose retorted. "Tasha Ozera is an amazing woman. She's beautiful and she's brave. But she doesn't-" "She doesn't get you," Rose finished for me. I nodded. "I knew that. But I still wanted the relationship. I knew it would be easy and that she could take me away from you. I thought she could make me forget you." "But she couldn't," Rose stated. "Yes. And, so ... that's a problem." "Because it's wrong for us to be together." "Yes." "Because of the age difference." "Yes." "But more importantly because we're going to be Lissa's guardians and need to focus on her-not each other." "Yes." Rose thought about this for a moment and then looked me dead in the eyes in what had to be the sexiest look in the world, "Well," she paused, "The way I see it, we aren't Lissa's guardians yet." I couldn't hold back any longer. Instead I pulled closer and kissed her. The kiss felt amazing and I honestly never wanted to let go, I wanted to kiss her all over, feel her all over. It never felt this rightwith anyone else.

I cupped her face between my hands. At first, the kiss was light but just a few moments later the intensity increased. I swear, I wanted to make love to her right here and right now. But I didn't want to get fired either, who would take care of my Roza? I couldn't deal with not having her in my life so I reluctantly pulled away. I then kissed her forehead, holding her close for a few more moments, dreading having to part. I then let her go, because honestly if I didn't right then I wouldn't be able to stop myself any longer. I ran a finger down through her hair and kissed her cheek. God there were so many places I wanted to touch. If I could just NO! Dimitri. I told myself and walked toward the door before I did something I might regret, "I'll see you later, Roza." "At our next practice?" Rose asked eagerly. "We are starting those up again, right? I mean, you still have things to teach me." I looked over at her from the door way, where I wasn't too dangerously close, smiled, and said, "Yes. Lots of things," and walked away before I turned into a savage tiger in a heat and pounced on her.