Professional Documents
Culture Documents
a screenplay
by
S. A. Scoggin
Registered WGA
and
©2009
sascoggin@gmail.com
1
INTERIOR. BOSTON: A COLLEGE DORM. NIGHT.
BLONDE
You were going to call me eventually, I
suppose.
MARK
Sorry.
BLONDE
You are. I'm going to get a beer.
Have a very good story ready.
She brushes by him and goes down into the crowd. MARK
rises and goes back into his room, closing the door. He
turns around in a slow spin, seeing the whole of his room,
then collapses into his desk chair as though helpless and
apathetic. On the desk are two cassettes. One is labeled
"INXS: DON'T CHANGE", the other just "DON'T CHANGE". He
picks up the second one and puts it into a tape deck. The
first ethereal notes whistle out above the thumping of the
floor. Outside, the night sky is pitch black. Large puffy
snowflakes drift through a thin shaft of light from a
streetlight.
2
with the tuning knob, but his song is buried:
RADIO
...fifty thousand watts of country
power serving western Nevada and the
Sierras. It's ten-fourteen in the PM
and the temperature is eighty-four
degrees here in the big melon, Fallon,
Nevada. Heading to a low of about
sixty overnight, going back up near to
one hundred degrees tomorrow. Let's
pick up our Agfeed Top Ten Countdown
with number four, Garth Brooks with-
Cursing vigorously, MARK grabs for the knob and spins it.
The next station he finds is in the middle of "Ob La Da".
He keeps going. More country. Led Zeppelin. Country. He
flicks the radio off and mumbles, then suddenly begins
singing "I Want to be Sedated".
CARSON
Welcome back to planet earth.
MARK
Carson.
MARK mounts the high step. The trailer is clean and neat.
A trap set fills up most of what was intended to be a
dining area. The interior is decorated with found art:
road signs, plastic toys, sun-bleached animal skulls, and
postcards.
CARSON
3
How's the old college life?
MARK
Old.
CARSON
Well, suck it up son. You've got one
more year to go. What's up for the
summer?
MARK
Zipetty do dah. I applied for
internships at Boeing and Lockheed, but
they tell me nobody's got money.
CARSON
You want me to see if Ray needs help at
the market?
MARK
Yeah, sure. I can bag groceries...you
still don't have a CD player, do you?
CARSON
That's just a fad, man.
MARK
Just wonderful. I worked part time in
a record store near campus. Serious
employee discount. Now I've got a
crapload of discs and you don't have
the foresight to own a player.
CARSON
Don't your parents have one?
MARK
Get real. They still play vinyl.
CARSON
Should have moonlighted in a stereo
store.
MARK
You get discounts on meat?
CARSON
4
Hell, no - I've chopped up too many
pigs. I'm totally vegetarian.
MARK
Doesn't Ray think it's bad PR to have a
butcher who won’t eat his own work?
CARSON
Gee, I don't think he knows. He never
asked. So what kind of discs you got?
MARK
All kinds. Industrial, house, acid
jazz, tribal rhythms, world music.....
CARSON
Hum a few bars.
MARK
Yeah. Guess I need to find a job.
CARSON
Hey, callow slacker youth! I heard that
5
there might be a job open with the
county. Can you drive a dump truck?
MARK
I can do many things.
CARSON
Have you ever driven a dump truck?
MARK
Well, shit. How hard could it be? I've
got the better part of a college
education.
CARSON
Then you'd better get on over to the
County Yard and jump on it. Unless you
got anything better?
MARK
No.
SANDRA, young woman about their age, comes down the aisle.
She has a toddler in her cart who is struggling against his
nylon seat belt. She has one hand on the cart and one hand
on her child's shoulder.
CARSON
Hi, Sandra.
SANDRA
Hello, Carson. Hi, Mark. Are you
working here now?
MARK
Sure. What can I get you today? Cow,
pig, lambie? How 'bout a free wiener
for little Matty?
SANDRA
It's Derek, dumbass. And didn't you
see the little kid nearly choke to
death in "Field of Dreams"? You can't
give hot dogs to toddlers. Anyway,
they're full of nitrites.
MARK, who had picked up a hot dog and held it out to DEREK,
6
takes it back, chagrined.
SANDRA
I hope you're both going to be at Lee
and Rachael's wedding?
MARK
This whole wedding racket is a bunch of
so-called traditions invented out of
whole cloth and sustained by the floral
cartel.
SANDRA
So, Mr. Romance? Are you paying for
it?
FOREMAN
Damn key's all worn down - takes some
time to get her to turn - be careful
not to break her.Don't put her into it
over forty or the goddamn thing'll fly
off.
MARK
Five speed box?
FOREMAN
Yep.
MARK
Reverse is?
FOREMAN
7
Over and up.
The key finally turns, and the unmuffled engine roars and
sputters, sounding powerful and dangerous. MARK pivots out
of the way as the FOREMAN leaps out and points off to the
horizon.
FOREMAN
They'll load you up with tailings on
Miller's Road. Take it on up to the
Cottonwood Ranch turnoff, where the
culverts are.
MARK
Oh, give me forty acres and I'll turn
this rig around,
it's the easiest way that I've found.
Some guys can turn it on a dime or turn
it right downtown,
But I need forty acres to turn this rig
around....
MARK
I know what I'm getting you for
Christmas.
CARSON
Door locks?
MARK
8
Music from this decade. REO
Speedwagon? C’mon.
CARSON
How was work?
MARK
Fun. They gave me a prehistoric truck.
At lunch I heard several ribald but
witty jokes.
CARSON
Such as?
MARK
Well, they're truckdrivin' jokes, so
you as a layperson might not appreciate
their subtlety. Okay, now imagine that
I don't have any teeth: Once there was
a man who went into a diner looking for
a job. The cook says: OK, but
remember, I like my orders in the form
of a poem. So the man says: That won't
be a problem. Pretty soon two men come
in and order stew. Then two women come
in and order stew. Then a young woman
comes in and orders egg in a glass. So
the man thinks a minute, then he goes
to the cook and says: Coupla stews for
a coupla Jews. Coupla more for a
coupla whore. Egg in a glass for a
country lass, and if that ain't poetry,
I'll kiss your ass.
CARSON
What's 'egg in a glass'?
MARK
It's truckdrivin' vittles.
CARSON
Oh...so what do you want to do?
MARK
What is there to do?
CARSON
9
Drag Main.
MARK
What the hell, let's do it.
CARSON starts up the car and drives out of the lot. MARK
puts in a tape and sings along with the Beatles in a bad,
thick Cockney.
MARK
Ob la di! Fucking ob la da!
FIRST BOY
Carson! How ya doin'?
CARSON
The usual.
GIRL
Where's the party?
CARSON
You're looking at it.
SECOND BOY
Hey - Mark! How's school?
MARK
One big yuk.
FIRST BOY
I bet. Beats hanging in this burg
though, huh?
GIRL
(Coyly playing with a roll of
money.)
Hey, Carson, how about buying for us?
10
CARSON
Sure. What'll it be?
GIRL
Two cases of Coors.
CARSON
Fifteen minutes. Back of Lohmiller's
garlic field.
MARK
I don't believe you. Those kids are
barely old enough to drive.
CARSON
Aw, shit. Somebody's going to buy it
for them. When we were their age,
somebody always bought for us.
MARK
Suzie's brother, the bunghole? Good
thing he was twenty-one. He had no
other redeeming features. He still
around?
CARSON
Nah. He rammed that old Camaro of his
right into a hay truck one day over by
Dayton. He's fucked up in a wheelchair
- they all moved to California
somewhere.
MARK
Hell of a way to leave town.
CARSON
Coming in?
MARK
I'm not twenty-one yet.
11
EXTERIOR. MARK'S HOUSE. NIGHT.
MARK
Mom. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake
you.
MOM
You didn't. What did you do tonight?
MARK
We did the same old thing... with all
new people.
12
MARK is searching for something in the chaos. Finally he
finds an old bass and a small amplifier. He drags the amp
into one of the narrow clearings and plugs it in. He
connects the bass and begins to tune it. One of the
strings snaps violently under the tension and flies close
to his face. He recoils away, cursing. Retying it, he
finishes tuning and begins to play. The amp hums loudly
and crackles. Yellow lights shine from its guts. Mark is
playing faster and louder and does not see the amp start to
smoke. He smells it and turns. Still wearing his bass, he
grabs the amp by its cord and drags it out into the
driveway. It is smoking heavily now even though the power
is off. Mark turns on a garden hose and wets it down.
MARK
How far today, MR. REDD?
MR. REDD
Five miles. How's college life?
MARK
Expensive.
MR. REDD
I'll bet.
MARK
I need a favor.
MR. REDD
What can I do you for?
MARK
I'd like to borrow the Marshall amp.
MR. REDD
Well, nobody is going to need it until
September. But I'll need some quid pro
13
quo.
MARK
Name it.
MR. REDD
Pep band needs some new charts. You
still score?
MARK
Yeah...yeah, no sweat. I'll go get my
truck.
MARK
Okay, let's give it a try? Slow, like
this. One, two, three, four.
MARK
Jimmy Bailey?
CARSON
He moved to Winnemuca three years ago
or so. Works in a gold mine.
MARK
Who the hell else was there?
CARSON
14
Carl Frye?
MARK
French? He was...okay. He around?
CARSON
Naw - he and Gina finally got married.
He joined the Navy.
MARK
Jesus H.! Isn’t there anybody in this
freaking hole who still plays guitar?
CARSON
How about if you play guitar and we
find someone who can play bass?
MARK
We are in deep trouble.
SANDRA
C'mon, you guys - get out there and
dance! All the old folks are dancing,
and the kids are just standing around
like it's the goddamn freshman hop.
Come and dance with me, we'll get them
started.
MARK
You're married. Get your mate to dance
with you.
SANDRA
Get your butt off that counter.
15
INTERIOR. THE VFW HALL. DAY.
Arm in arm, MARK and SANDRA come into the main room. A
three-piece band, “The Cremetti Family” according to a
small placard, is playing danceable tunes. The father is
seated at an electric piano, the mother is blowing
clarinet, and a daughter is on the violin. MARK and SANDRA
go onto the dance floor. SANDRA begins to dance apart,
waving at the onlookers to come out onto the dance floor.
MARK takes her by the hand and waist and swings her around
gracefully.
MARK
Come to me, you temptress. I must
possess you.
SANDRA
Here they come!
MARK
They are jealous of me, my love.
SANDRA
Sure. I heard you're driving truck for
the county this summer.
MARK
Are there any secrets in this town?
SANDRA
None at all. I also heard that Carson
and you have been playing.
MARK
Man, we are a quarter of the way to
being half-assed. Know anybody who
plays guitar?
SANDRA
How about Mr. Cremetti? He used to
give guitar lessons.
MARK
Our tastes in music are probably
16
irreconcilable.
SANDRA
You idiot. I meant ask him who he has
taught.
MARK
Oh. Great idea.
MR. CREMETTI
No, I haven't had a guitar student in
ten years or so. Why do you ask?
MARK
I'm trying to put together a band.
MR. CREMETTI
Sorry. I wish I could help you out.
If I do hear of anyone, I'll let you
know.
MRS. CREMETTI
What about Stanley, dear?
MR. CREMETTI
In a band, Mother?
MARK
Stan...plays guitar?
MRS. CREMETTI
You didn't know?
MR. CREMETTI
He's been terribly shy all of his life.
17
I gave up trying to get him in my piano
recitals by the second grade.
MARK
He plays piano?
MRS. CREMETTI
Since he was three. Stanley would
never let anyone see him. It's a
shame, really. He has perfect pitch.
MR. CREMETTI
Funny thing is though, he can't sing a
lick. Perfect pitch on the violin but
can't sing. Well, you can ask him, if
you want, but I seriously doubt you'll
ever get him to play in public.
MARK
He plays violin?
MARK
You won't believe who can play guitar.
Stan Cremetti.
CARSON
Yeah, right.
MARK
His mom and dad told me. Piano and
violin, too.
CARSON
Get outta town.
MARK
He won’t play when there's anybody
around.
CARSON
18
Well, I believe that. I've known him
since we were five, and I've never
heard him put two sentences together.
So what are we going to do about it?
MARK
We've got to audition him.
CARSON
Three beers...gin and tonic...soda
water...Stan, another lemonade freeze?
STAN
Thanks.
MARK
What's in the lemonade?
CARSON
Two ounces of Everclear. He can't
taste it.
MARK
Jesus, show some restraint, okay? We
don't want to kill him.
CARSON
Look, he weighs about two-fifty. It'll
take seven, eight ounces of alcohol to
get him up to point one five. This is
his third glass. One more and then he
gets straight lemonade. He'll be much
less inhibited any time now.
MARK
19
Point one five? Let's not let him get
to his car while we're not looking.
CARSON
You have no faith. I have his
distributor cap in one pocket and his
keys in the other.
CARSON
Okay, Stan is here to back me up on
this.
MARK
No way. You're wrong.
CARSON
Impossible.
MARK
Stan, you be the judge. Carson and I
have a bet. He says that this is "Days
of Wine and Roses".
MARK
And I say that this is.
STAN
No, no, no. You're both nuts. Here -
this is "Days of Wine and Roses".
STAN sits down, shoving MARK aside, and begins playing with
both hands. Two of the bridesmaids come in, giggling
between themselves. STAN stops in mid-chord and stands up.
20
STAN
I've gotta go. Patti's sick. Can't
find my keys.
CARSON
C'mon, I'll drive you home. Your
keys’ll turn up.
MARK
Think she's forgiven him yet?
CARSON
I hope so. Man, he was a puking wreck.
MARK
Just can't hold his frozen lemonade.
CARSON
What's that?
MARK
All right! A guitar!
They jump out and slink along a cedar fence to the back of
a house. They peek through a gap in the fence and see STAN
and his young daughter, JULIA. STAN is sitting in a
rocking chair holding an acoustic guitar. His daughter is
struggling to keep her arms around a four string ukelele.
STAN
Want to try it again, Julie?
JULIA
Yes!
STAN
Remember to change back to D after the
oinky part.
21
JULIA
Once there were five little piggies in
a row.
Oink, said one, I've got to go.
Oink, he said, and oink, he did.
He got up and away he went...
Oink...oink, oink, oink, oink...
Oink, oink, oink, oink...
Oink, oink, oink, oink...
JULIA
Who's that, Daddy?
STAN
Friends, pigpen.
MARK and CARSON come up onto the porch. MARK picks up the
guitar which STAN had laid down behind the rocker.
MARK
Julia, I'm Mark. This is my pal,
Carson. Do you remember us?
JULIA
No.
MARK
Is your daddy a good guitar player?
JULIA
He's the best!
STAN
Julie! Please go see if your mother
needs help.
JULIA
Okay, Daddy. Bye.
She waves farewell and goes into the house, clutching her
ukelele by the neck.
MARK
Guitar? Piano?
22
STAN shrugs. Out the back door steps his wife, PATTI, a
diminutive redhead, her long hair up in a bun. She is
wearing a "The French Chef" apron. She pats her hands
together and puffs of flour fly off.
PATTI
Mark and Carson. Whatever brings you
by?
MARK
Well...actually, we...came to
apologize. For the other night. We
kinda slipped Stan some pretty strong
drinks.
PATTI
So that's how it was.
STAN
I told you.
MARK
Yeah. It was stupid of us. We're
sorry. I hope we didn't cause any
problems.
PATTI
At least you didn't let him drive home.
CARSON
We made sure he couldn't.
PATTI
So? You got him drunk. I don't think
Stan does it often enough.
STAN
I puked all night.
CARSON
Jeez. That was straight grain alcohol.
You should have slept like a baby.
PATTI
You obviously have never had a baby.
They cry and spit up all night. Poor
23
dear. You spent a long time on the
white telephone, calling Ralph.
MARK
It was a mean thing to do.
PATTI
Then why did you do it?
MARK
Carson and I need a guitar player. We
used to know some guys who could play
guitar, but they've all left town. At
the reception, Stan's dad and mom told
me that Stan played guitar. And piano
and violin.
PATTI
And trumpet and French horn and banjo.
MARK
We were skeptical. So we tricked him
into getting drunk and playing the
piano.
PATTI
You want Stan to play guitar in your
band?
MARK
Yeah...is that okay with you?
PATTI
Okay? It's fabulous! Stan, you play so
beautifully. It's about time people
appreciated your talent.
STAN
Too busy.
MARK
We'll just be jamming for fun, by
ourselves.
PATTI
Go ahead, honey. Give them a chance.
24
JULIA
(From behind the screen door,
where she has listened to the
whole scene.)
Daddy, can I play in your band too?
MARK is moving the last few boxes out of the center of the
garage. He has somehow managed to clear a sizable space by
piling junk outside. CARSON is setting up the drums. STAN
drives up and comes in, holding his guitar nervously.
MARK
Acoustic guitar? Looks like we are
unplugged.
STAN
Is it okay?
MARK
Sure. I'll turn my amp way down.
Listen to this. Here’s a couple of
tunes for us. Clean trio stuff. I
charted out the chords.
MARK
I like that one. It's pretty
straightforward-
CARSON
You didn't stay up all night charting
out the chords, did you?
MARK
What the hell. Let's see how far we
can get.
25
with the bass line. They play to the end of the first
chorus, right where Mark had stopped the tape. STAN stops
and looks up at them for guidance.
MARK
Uh...second verse, same as the first?
STAN nods and takes off again. The others race to catch
up.
CARSON
D'you think this old thing should be
doing eighty?
MARK
I'm an engineer.
CARSON
That's what they said on the space
shuttle.
MARK
Is that so? What kind of guitar should
we get Stan? One of those futuristic
triangular jobbies? Or maybe a square
one with fur around it, like a ZZ Top
thing?
STAN
I like the one I've got.
MARK
It's okay for folk songs, but we're a
power trio, man. Bass, drums, guitar.
You've got to be solid-body ampped-up-
the-wazoo screaming.
26
STAN
What kind of music does a power trio
play?
MARK
A power trio strips a tune down to its
core. Rhythm, melody, chords. The
fundamental inputs of pleasure.
Synaptic depolarization. The neurons
fire in little sparks. Pinka pinka
pink. The music that moves your butt
contains harmonics and subharmonics of
your natural neural vibe. Harmony in a
song is the relationship of two notes
to each other and to the background
humming in your noggin. The music I
like to hear makes me feel good. It
resonates in synch with my natural
cellular oscillations and elevates my
endorphin levels. You like Brahms, I'm
down with da boys, da boys, da Beastie
Boys. Our brains are just beating
differently. Except if you like
country music, which is a result of
zero brain activity and so satisfies
the legal definition of death in most
states.
MARK, CARSON, and STAN enter the shop. Two walls are
covered with musical instruments - brass, woodwind, a few
stringed, and lots and lots of guitars. There are several
traps sets and other assorted drums and a row of
amplifiers.
MARK
Look at these babies! Every one was
someone's dream. Bought at retail in
the heat of passion.
CARSON
And unloaded for rent money. This
isn't the most inspirational place.
27
MARK
Who dares, wins, my friends. Stanley!
Look at that! This is an awesome axe.
CLERK
Can I help you?
MARK
Can we try this guitar, please?
CARSON
Down in the valley, valley, so low...
MARK disconnects STAN from the small amp and plugs him in
to a monster. He turns it on as quietly as it will go,
lower even than "1".
MARK
Butthole Surfers.
STAN
Okay.
MARK
WHO THE HELL WAS IN MY ROOM?
MARK
(Screaming.)
We'll take it!
28
INTERIOR. RENO: A CASINO BUFFET ROOM. DAY.
MARK and CARSON are heaping their plates with food at the
buffet line. Behind them STAN has his plate precariously
balanced in one hand. He is holding his new guitar in the
other.
MARK
That window was cracked when we went in
there.
CARSON
My left ear is still ringing.
MARK
What?
MARK
Jesus, this thing is a wreck inside.
CARSON
Mrs. Frye told me that Carl's father
built it from scratch.
MARK
Yeah, I remember. It used to sound
pretty good.
CARSON
Remember how Carl would turn up the
29
treble to get that fuzzy sound?
MARK
I remember blowing up the speaker doing
that. The damn magnet shot across his
bedroom and broke a hole in the door.
He should have replaced the crossover
net when he put in the new speaker.
CARSON
Hell, he didn't have that kind of cash.
He stole that speaker from the movie
theater.
MARK
No shit? I never knew that.
CARSON
You didn't notice that you only heard
the left side of the soundtrack for
over a year?
MARK
Nah. I was going out with Shelley. We
sat way back in the dark rows. I had
her tongue in my ear most of the time.
Okay. Done.
CARSON
What's that smell?
MARK
Son of a bitch!
MARK and MR. REDD are loading another big amplifier into
Mark's truck. MARK ties it down. Both are dripping with
30
sweat.
MR. REDD
Four more arrangements - you're sure
you can do that much?
MARK
No problem.
MR. REDD
Great. Need any more equipment?
MARK
Thank God, no.
The boys have both amps humming. MARK is putting the last
pieces of tape on plastic sheets fitted to the windows.
CARSON
We're going to sweat our balls off.
Shaking his head, MARK flips a switch on the wall and a fan
starts to turn above the rafters. The plastic on the
windows bulges inward as the air is sucked through the
room.
MARK
Let's try that Sugar tune.
BICYCLIST
Is that somebody's stereo?
31
WOMAN
I don't think so.
32
FIRST GIRL
You're so lucky, living in Boston. It
must be exciting after growing up in
this place.
SECOND GIRL
I’d give anything to get out of this
burg. Maybe we can visit you in
Boston, huh?
FIRST GIRL
My brother was in seventh grade last
year, and he said that Mr. Hodges told
them: "Look at Mark Foster. He used to
get C's in my class, and now he's going
to be an aeronautical engineer".
MARK
That senile old bastard. I spent most
of seventh grade in the hall for being
a wiseass.
FIRST GIRL
But at least you ditched this burg.
MARK
Hey - I'm still here.
MARK
Dad! What are you doing?
DAD
Stargazing. You've been drinking.
33
MARK
Two beers.
DAD
You'll be twenty-one soon enough. Stay
young as long as you can.
MARK
You mean stay illegal longer than
necessary.
DAD
Have a good party?
MARK
Sure. Some of these people I hadn't
seen since graduation. You know, I'm
pretty lucky. My old friends don't
seem to be jealous. I'm not sure I
could be that generous if they were
getting something I wanted.
DAD
Maybe they have their own dreams.
MARK
You're probably right. There are all
these kids that I spent nearly every
day with for over twelve years.
They're like family. I know guys in
college whose parents moved around all
the time. They went to a different
school every couple of years. They
don’t have friends like mine.
DAD
Look there. Do you know what that is?
MARK
Space junk. Booster rockets, solar
panels, dead satellites, stuff like
that. A lot of it's only a hundred and
fifty miles up, waiting to burn in.
34
DAD
I'm going inside.
MARK
Excuse me - is this the Hack ranch?
MAN
Not Hack.
MARK
What are these? Que...casa?
MAN
Onions. Casa por onions.
MARK
These buildings are awesome.
Apparently Fenilli got a deal from the
construction company. Three for the
price of two, and the third shed won't
have onions in it until the season
after next.
35
remainder of the shed is thinly strewn with construction
debris.
MARK
All we have to do is clean it up and
pay for the electricity. What a
beautiful space!
CARSON
Good acoustics.
STAN
Nice pour!
They have set up their gear in one end of the shed. STAN,
wearing his guitar, turns on his amp and thumbs a chord.
They listen in awe at the reverberations.
CARSON
What a waste on onions!
MARK
"Head On" - Pixies version.
MONTAGE.
36
everything. MARK takes an old album: MEET THE BEATLES! and
a pistol from his truck. He gives the album to CARSON, who
shucks record of its paper sheath, scales it into the air,
and hits the dirt. MARK fires at the black circle and
misses. He stomps over to where it lands and empties his
weapon into it, raising volcanic spurts of dirt.
STAN and CARSON are manhandling the two school amps from
the back of Mark's truck back into the high school while
MARK shows some scores to MR. REDD.
They have built a stage from odds and ends of planks and
straw bales. Their two new amps stand on either side of
the trap set. MARK stage dives off into a big pile of
straw. CARSON follows. They wave at STAN to try, but he
shakes his head adamantly.
MARK
Thanks, Mom.
MOM
I ran into Mrs. Costello at the Post
Office this morning.
MARK
Yeah? Her husband does most of the
county welding.
37
MOM
She is under the impression that your
position is full time...permanent.
MARK
Really?
MOM
You should straighten things out.
MARK
You know, don't you?
MOM
Know what, dear?
MARK
I'm going to stay here...into the fall.
MOM
And how long are you planning on
driving a truck for the county?
MARK
I don't know.
MOM
I presume you were going to tell us
eventually?
MARK
Sorry.
MOM
What's wrong? You haven't been
expelled?
MARK
No.
MOM
A girl?
MARK
No.
MOM
38
Then what? You've got one more year to
go, and you'll have your degree.
You've wanted to build airplanes all
your life. One more year.... Well,
I'm glad you aren't in trouble. I'll
let you tell your father.
MARK
What do you think he'll say?
MOM
Oh, he'll be upset for a while. Then
he'll go out in the shop and build
something, and he'll be all right.
MARK
I thought you'd be pretty mad at me.
MOM
My baby. You don't remember what you
were like as a toddler. No one could
tell you anything. You had to touch
the hot stove. You had to try and grab
the flame in the fireplace. You put
everything into your mouth. When you
were about seven or so, we quit trying
to give you orders. We just gave you
suggestions. But someday you'll meet a
nice girl, get married, and have a
child who'll be just like you were.
Then you’ll appreciate your parents.
39
REDD waves at him.
MR. REDD
When do you leave for Boston?
MARK
I'm taking the year off.
MR. REDD
But you're almost done. Well, at least
you will get a chance to hear the fruit
of your labor. We’re going to play
"Whip It".
CARSON
What the hell are they playing?
MARK
That's...uh..."Like a Virgin", you
know, Madonna?
CARSON
Oh yeah, sure.
They make their way into the stands and up to the very top,
pausing to greet someone on almost every step. Once at the
top, MARK hears his name called from below and behind. He
looks down and sees SANDRA with her arms full of bags of
popcorn.
MARK
That's saturated fat colored yellow.
SANDRA
It's for Bernie and Derek.
MARK
So you are the Black Widow.
40
SANDRA
Why aren't you in Boston?
MARK
I'm taking some time off.
SANDRA
Why? What's wrong?
MARK
Nothing's wrong. I'm just tired of
school.
SANDRA
But what are you going to do here?
MARK
I'm driving truck for the county.
SANDRA
Oh God. You're making me sick to my
stomach. Will you come over to dinner?
MARK
When?
SANDRA
I'll call you. Moron.
CARSON
What are we doing after the game?
MARK
It must be about time to go railing
again.
CARSON
Great idea. Your truck doesn't fit on
the track, does it?
MARK
Nope. But Billy Souza has a '72 Dodge
Dart, and that will fit. I saw him on
the way in.
41
CARSON
What if he doesn't want to go?
MARK
C’mon. Nobody ever didn't want to go
railing.
MARK
Hey, Billy. Nice car.
BILLY
Hi, Mark. This is my cousin Buddy.
MARK
How ya doin?
BUDDY
Did you bring some?
BILLY
That's probably Annette Lewis. A bunch
of girls wanted to come.
BUDDY
Some'm'll probably have to sit on our
laps.
BILLY
I hope so.
The car drives up and stops. Four girls get out, giggling
and fluttering. One of them is the girl Mark saw on the
horse.
42
BILLY
Hot damn. Annette and Barb and
Melissa.
BUDDY
Who's that other one?
BILLY
Oh, that's Victoria Riley. I've never
partied with her before. What is she,
a sophomore?
BUDDY
Jail bait.
ANNETTE
Hi guys...what's going on?
BILLY
We're ready to get her up on the rails
and ride.
ANNETTE
You know, my uncle said they used to do
it all the time, back in the sixties.
How do we do it?
MARK
We have to let just enough air out of
Billy's tires so they can follow the
track. It'll steer itself.
BILLY
This won't hurt my rims, will it?
MARK
Naw. It doesn't take much. Then we
just sit in the car and party.
MELISSA
Sounds like a blast. How come people
don't do it all the time?
MARK
43
They used to, long ago. Then one night
in 1969 - the summer of love - a car
full of kids was smashed head-on by a
freight train. They were all killed
instantly. It happened right up there.
About two miles from here.
BARBIE
Oh my God!
MARK
They were high - so high they totally
forgot about the 11:33 train.
BILLY
Hey, it's 10:30 now.
MARK
Don't worry. That train doesn't run
anymore. Not since.... There's no
traffic on this line until the 4:11
from Fallon.
BUDDY
How many were killed?
MARK
Eight kids. Their bodies were so
mangled together that the mortician
just divided up the remains into eight
caskets pretty much at random.
BARBIE
Jesus! There's eight of us!
VICTORIA (O.S.)
44
Get your elbow out of my ear! OK,
that's it!
MARK
Plenty of room out here.
VICTORIA
Infinite room! Can’t you just feel
yourself falling into the sky?
MARK
I guess.
VICTORIA
Aren’t you supposed to be back in
Boston?
MARK
Christ. I should have a T shirt
printed: No, I am not going to college
this year. Thank you very much.
VICTORIA
I'm sorry.
MARK
Small town life. Everybody knows your
business.
VICTORIA
Then why are you still here?
MARK
How old are you?
VICTORIA
Sixteen.
MARK
Well, this is the first time in fifteen
football seasons I haven't been off to
school. Since you were one year old!
VICTORIA
So how does it feel to be out?
45
MARK
Strange. No required reading.
He sits up, peering off into the blackness, then slides off
the hood and sprints down the track ahead of the car.
VICTORIA follows without hesitation.
The kids are silly, giddy from the novelty of the moving
party. CARSON cocks his head, then leans far out of the
window.
CARSON
Hey! Be quiet! I hear something!
MARK
Hey! Better catch that car! There are
real trains through here sometimes!
46
MARK
Anybody I know?
VICTORIA
Jamie Villacort. He was my date at the
eighth grade dance.
MARK
I heard about that. What happened
again?
VICTORIA
He was drunk. He drove off the road,
out on Pitts Lane, where the curve is
and the old cottonwoods are right next
to the road. Apparently he never even
touched the brakes. There were no
skidmarks at all.
MARK
Where was he going?
VICTORIA
Going? He wasn't going anywhere.
That's what he did for entertainment.
Have you been away so long? What did
you and your friends do on summer
nights?
MARK
Well...yeah, I guess we did some of
that. One night I was riding around
with Lowell and Dave. All of a sudden
Lowell floors it. We were doing a
hundred and fifteen, I swear, past the
old dairy. I laid down on the floor.
The trees were a blur...but I never
felt in any real danger.
VICTORIA
Oh, right, I forgot. You are immortal.
MARK
You're supposed to feel immortal at
sixteen.
47
VICTORIA
Tell Jamie.
MARK
What do you do for fun?
VICTORIA
I walk around town after dark. After
ten o'clock, all the houses go dark. I
walk down my street and I wonder: What
goes on behind the shades? Every
healthy person has a secret life. They
must! People here want to be so
uniform. So I pray that there are wild
bestial acts happening as I walk by.
Life just couldn’t be this bland.
MARK
You'd be surprised.
VICTORIA
Usually I can walk down Main Street
from NAPA Auto Parts all the way to the
Silver Strike without a car passing me.
What's it like to live where you can
find people up all night?
MARK
You know Parrott Road, out where the
Hack Ranch is?
VICTORIA
Yes. I ride down there.
MARK
There are some new onion sheds there,
about half a mile from the highway.
We've been playing two or three times a
week. If you wanted to come and
listen.
VICTORIA
I'd like that. What's the dirt for?
MARK
We're laying in a culvert. I'll see
you around. They're waiting for me.
48
He backs up and bumps into the headstone. He grabs it to
keep his balance, then something in the inscription
computes.
MARK
Wait a minute. He was only fifteen.
What was he doing driving?
The door bell rings. BERNIE, a tall, dark man who looks
part Hispanic - maybe Native American - gets up from an
easy chair and answers the door. It is MARK, bearing a
small paper bag.
BERNIE
Sandy told me you were still in town.
How come I haven't seen you in the
courthouse, picking up your check?
MARK
Direct deposit. Maybe you've heard of
it.
BERNIE
Hey, you'd be proud of us. The
assessor's office is high-tech.
Everything is electronic. .
MARK
Really? Stand alone or network?
BERNIE
Network all the way. We run a custom
client-server package off a VAX in
Carson City tied to a statewide WAN.
SANDRA
Mark! Bernie's been waiting for you to
come and talk computers with him.
She puts Derek down and accepts the bag, looking inside.
49
SANDRA
Cherry Garcia! Derek, stay here and
male-bond.
BERNIE
Sandy told me you're playing in a band.
MARK
That sounds formal. It's just me and
Carson and Stan having some fun.
BERNIE
It's hard to picture Stan Cremetti
playing a guitar.
MARK
I wouldn't have believed it myself. He
plays piano, too. And violin, and who
knows what else.
BERNIE
Is he any good?
MARK
Good isn't even the word. He's a
fucking freak of nature. Derek, you
didn't hear that. Stan's a human
sample machine. He hears something; he
plays it.
BERNIE
Judas. I knocked heads with the guy
everyday for four years. You'd think
50
I'd know this about him.
MARK
He's shy.
BERNIE
Tell me about it. Twice he made All-
State at tackle and didn't even show at
the dinner to get his trophy. Hard to
believe he'd stand up in front of an
audience.
MARK
What audience? We play for the onions.
MARK
At the chorus: 1...2...3...4...
51
CARSON
What's shakin', pal? You hammered?
MARK
I'm walking from one end of Main to the
other without anyone passing me.
CARSON
Did I screw it up?
MARK
You haven't passed me yet. What are
you doing out so late?
CARSON
Couldn't sleep. Thought I'd come down
and play the slots.
MARK
Why don't you just hand me your money?
CARSON
Coming in?
MARK
Not tonight.
CARSON
I forgot. When's your birthday?
MARK
Thursday.
CARSON
Let's make a date. Your first night
legal, we go out on the town.
MARK
Family's got a party planned.
CARSON
Till midnight?
MARK
52
Not likely.
CARSON
Then you call me when it's done.
MARK
This is just a practice.
BOY
We don't care.
MARK
You get what you pay for. We're on
break.
VICTORIA
Word gets around.
MARK
Think we need a bigger club?
VICTORIA
Is that what you want?
MARK
That's my dream. Playing in some noisy
smoky dive in front of fist-fighting
drunks until four in the morning.
VICTORIA
53
You guys don't even realize what you
have. Anybody else in your place would
be riding it out of here. You could
play clubs. Reno, Tahoe, who knows?
But you've already been out there and
come back.
MARK
Hey, you need a ticket out? Learn to
play bass and you can have my place.
VICTORIA
Whatever you need out of this band, you
can't give it to me. I wouldn't know
what it was. I've still got to study
for a history test.
GIRL
Here. We heard that you were paying
the utilities.
BOY
Now we got what we paid for.
CARSON
Get any good toys?
MARK
Clothes. Cash. Got a nice CAD program
for my Mac.
54
CARSON
Take a big hint, eh? Well, I got you
something practical.
MARK
Human Sexual Response! Where'd you
find this?
CARSON
Tahoe. There's a little record shop in
Crystal Bay, run by aging hippies. I
knew they'd have something for you.
We'll have to drive up there sometime.
Here we are. Legal gaming and
consumption of alcoholic beverages by
the drink.
The front door opens into a large room. A bar runs along
the right; rows of slots and video poker are on the left.
CARSON
Give me your license.
CHUCK
Congratulations, Mark. First drink's
on the house. What'll it be?
MARK
Uh...beer?
CHUCK draws him a glass and slides it across the bar. MARK
picks it up, then waits as CARSON orders a beer. They take
their glasses into the next room, a lounge where a three-
piece band is playing a country song. A sign reads: The
Highwaymen.
55
CARSON
Next time you're twenty-one, request a
more expensive drink.
MARK
What did you ask for?
CARSON
A beer, of course. They wouldn't have
that tradition if people thought to ask
for strawberry daiquiris or Suffering
Bastards.
MARK
Can I have my ID back now?
CARSON
No way. Hey Rimmer! My friend Mark is
twenty-one today. How about that?
RIMMER
'Nother round here on me, pard!
(To MARK.)
Just remember to stay single, you hear?
I was hitched to the plow two times
before I was your age. Two sisters,
too. Can you believe that? Sisters and
sisters-in-law. They were-
CARSON
Rimmer! Your pizza's ready.
RIMMER
I didn't order any goddamn pizza! I'd
better go and tell them again, I didn't
do it...those bastards...
56
He ambles off just as the barmaid brings them two more
beers. MARK starts to put money on her plate, but CARSON
makes him take it back.
CARSON
Not tonight, pard. Your money's no
good here.
GUITAR PLAYER
We got a special night here for
somebody?
CARSON
Mark's twenty-one today!
GUITAR PLAYER
Well, Happy Birthday, Mark. From the
Highwaymen.
GUITAR PLAYER
Twenty-one is the very best birthday of
all. Is that a beer you're drinkin'?
Nothin' like your first beer. That is
the first beer you've ever had, right?
That's what I thought. Have one on us.
57
The barmaid nods, her hand already on the spigot. The band
begins to sing.
BAND
Happy Birthday to you
You were born in a zoo
You look like a monkey
And you smell like one, too.
BARMAID
You know, I'm not supposed to serve you
if you are obviously inebriated.
MARK
Wh- what makes you...say that...thing
you said?
CARSON
He's not driving.
BARMAID
He'd better not be. If anything
happens to him, I'll kick your ass.
MARK
She could do, too. 'Cause you're just
as fucked up as am I. Wanna crash on
our couch?
CARSON
No thanks. I got a key to the loading
dock door at the store. There's a cot
back there. I've got to be in early
tomorrow anyway.
MARK
Work! Holy Shit! I forgot all about
work. I've got to haul sand out to
Keane Valley in the morning.
58
Reddish dawn comes in the windows. MARK is wandering
around, looking pale and sick. Everywhere he turns waits
something offensive to his condition. A man hammering on a
tire rim; another eating a greasy toasted sandwich; the
whine of a pneumatic wrench. He spies several sets of
earmuff soundguards hanging on a wall over some chainsaws
and slips a pair on. The look on his face is one of
blissful relief.
MARK, STAN, and CARSON are sitting around the dining room
table, which is covered with cassettes, printed sheet music
and handwritten charts. In the kitchen, PATTI is setting a
camcorder up on a tripod. JULIE is sitting on the floor in
a pile of videotapes, holding up a tape.
JULIE
Is this it, Mommy? It
says...beefer..beefer n-tees..beavers
eat trees?
PATTI
That's it, kiddo. Beef entrees. Pop
it in and let's get to work.
CARSON.
After "she said", we should go budda-
budda-budda-fade-conk?
MARK
In D.
STAN
I can bend the chord up at the end.
MARK
Chop it, like that!
CARSON
Budda-budda-budda-fade-conk?
PATTI is taking out pots and pans and setting them on the
rangetop. The cooking area is on an island. Attached to
the ceiling is a large mirror angled so the camera can
59
shoot a top view. JULIE has dragged a stool over and is
standing on it, sighting through the camcorder eyepiece.
MARK
"She said"-budda-budda-budda-budda-
conk!
JULIE
Quiet on the set!
PATTI
Welcome back. Today we will be
preparing three dishes for a small
dinner party. We begin with the
classic Caesar salad, followed by an
elegant yet hearty boeuf a la monde
with broccoli timbales. These
particular dishes are definitely not
low fat, so you wouldn't want to eat
them everyday. We have prepared our
roast by marinating as one would for
the preparation of sauerbraten. The
marinade is about one quart of equal
parts vinegar and water. I prefer the
more expensive balsamic vinegar from
Italy. It has a delicious smoky, nutty
tang. Then add one-half diced white
onion, two bay leaves, freshly ground
pepper, and several tablespoons of
sugar. Don't scrimp on the sugar -
even if it seems odd to have sugar and
beef in the same pot. Heat the sauce
until warm and thoroughly mixed and
pour over the beef.
MARK and CARSON have fallen silent and are watching the
cooking intently. STAN is reading sheet music, nodding his
head to a silent beat.
60
PATTI
So close to Cambridge. I had a dream
about that. I dreamt that I was on a
cozy little street lined on both sides
by tall trees. I was wondering where I
was, then I saw her. She seemed to
know me, like I was an old friend. She
invited me into her house. I took off
my coat; we chatted. She made dinner
for me!
MARK
Well, if I ever do run into her, I'll
recommend you highly.
PATTI
She cooked in a frying pan made of
solid gold once, you know.
MARK
Entirely appropriate. I know she would
approve of this a la monde.
PATTI
Thank you. I made it last New Year's
Day for my parents. Now it's all they
want.
CARSON
Speaking of New Year's, KRNV in Reno
has their battle of the bands. Finals
on New Year's Eve. Want to get
tickets?
MARK
Tickets? Hell, we should be in it.
CARSON
Why not?
MARK
Stan! You can do it. You're doing
great in the shed, man.
STAN
61
Yeah, but I know all those guys.
CARSON
I feel better playing in front of
strangers.
PATTI
Get over it, dear. They need you. And
you need them. You know you love to
play that loud old guitar. I mean, my
God, hasn't our sex life been fantastic
lately?
STAN
Patti!
PATTI
Well, it's true.
DAD
Naked bootleg - strong side.
MARK
Flanker screen.
MOM
Mark.
MARK holds the phone to his ear, still watching the game.
MARK
Hello?
62
VICTORIA (O.S.)
I need a gigantic favor. The Sophomore
Sock Hop is supposed to start at seven,
but our band just canceled. Would you
play for us?
MARK
What? That's in like...three hours.
All our gear is out in the shed. And
we don't have but maybe twelve tunes.
VICTORIA (O.S.)
Please, please, please? You could mix
in tapes like at the shed. You could
play things twice. No one will mind.
MARK
Let me think. If Carson is home and
willing, and if Stan doesn't freak.
VICTORIA (O.S.)
Get back to me as soon as you can.
I've got to know whether to cancel the
food and the cop. I've got to call -
MARK
Okay, I get the picture. Bye.
MARK
Good evening! Can you hear me all
right? OK - we're almost ready. You
probably know by now that we are the
substitute band. What we're going to
do tonight is play some of our favorite
tunes and spin some others. We might
stop and start over and cuss at each
63
other. Please bear with us. If you
have requests, we'll try to accommodate
you. My name is Mark Foster. On drums
is Carson Carson, and on guitar, the
one and only Stan Cremetti.
STAN
I thought it might get easier.
MARK
It's never easy. If you want to be a
performer of any kind, you've got to
figure out how to tap that fear for
energy.
STAN
I said I would try. I came here to
try.
MARK
Stand right behind my amp so you can
see Carson.
MARK
This one is called "Divine Hammer".
64
MARK
How about a beer? There's some in the
fridge.
CARSON
I've got a steer and two lambs coming
in in the morning. You know what they
call a butcher with a hangover?
MARK
No - what?
CARSON
Lefty.
VICTORIA
How about that beer?
MARK
Uh...
VICTORIA
Oh, c'mon.
The shed is black except for one small lamp in the corner
where a refrigerator, two wooden chairs, and an old couch
form a little conversational grouping. MARK and VICTORIA
are sitting on the couch, sipping beers, listening to the
silence.
VICTORIA
Do you miss school?
MARK
I miss my friends. I miss learning new
things. I don't miss the exams.
VICTORIA
Miss your girlfriend?
65
MARK
Don’t have a serious one.
VICTORIA
What did you tell her when you left?
MARK
See you later.
VICTORIA
Grand.
MARK
What?
VICTORIA
You're such a man. You see the world
with your eyes.
MARK
What am I supposed to see with?
VICTORIA
My heart.
MARK
You?
VICTORIA
Yes-
MARK
I?
VICTORIA
There.
MARK
Sure?
66
They slowly fall to horizontal together.
VICTORIA
Blind, blind, blind....
VICTORIA
Want to go riding? I can get another
horse. With a saddle, even.
MARK
I'll pass.
VICTORIA
Geez. Someone once said that the only
creatures happy after intercourse are
roosters and women. I didn't know it
lasted until the next day.
VICTORIA
What?
MARK
I guess I...just...I'm sorry about last
night.
VICTORIA
Sorry? Why should you be sorry?
MARK
67
I didn't mean for us to - you know -
VICTORIA
Oh, I see. Well, I'm only a teenager
from a tiny cow town. I don't expect
to be in the same sexual league as your
East Coast coeds.
MARK
I shouldn't have forced myself on you.
VICTORIA
My god! You fucking fool. I have been
trying to get your attention ever since
I was in seventh grade and you were a
senior. Don't you remember me riding
my bike up and down this road everyday?
MARK
Really?
VICTORIA
Really. I used to stand behind your
car when we were at the drive-in and
make believe that it was me in the car.
You didn't force me to do anything.
VICTORIA
You're frozen. Where's your coat?
MARK
I forgot to put it on, I guess. I was
writing a tune.
VICTORIA
68
You walked over in this?
MARK
Listen to this. D flat, B, D flat,
then C, B.
VICTORIA
I love creative men.
MARK.
A, G... Where's the old folk?
VICTORIA
Out to the movies, sweetie. It's just
me...and you.
MARK
I figure we can get away with one
cover, but we gotta come up with two
good originals. Think "Headon" would
work for us? You know, Pixies, Jesus
and Mary Chain?
VICTORIA
Uh huh.
MARK
The scoring at these things is entirely
subjective. It all depends on who
they've dredged up to judge that night.
MARK
You're not listening to me.
She manages to slip a hand under his shirt and rub his
chest.
MARK
69
What if Leon and Shirley walk in?
VICTORIA
You'd have to marry me or go to jail.
MARK
That's not funny.
VICTORIA
What? I was joking.
VICTORIA
You think it's possible, don't you? You
think that I could trap you into
marrying me. What? We'd get a trailer
and have dirty little babies - and
you'd have to drive that fucking truck
all day and never get back to your
precious college friends?
MARK
No. That's not what I meant.
VICTORIA
But it crossed your mind, didn't it?
How dare you even consider that I would
have you and your rotten children and
be stuck here forever? I'm getting the
hell out! And nobody - especially
somebody like you who had their chance
and blew it, is going to stop me. Get
out! Now!
MARK
No way! It's cold out there.
VICTORIA
You should have worn a coat!
She grabs him and tries to move him off the couch, but he
is too big and much stronger. He cannot be budged. He
fends off her blows, finally getting her in a hold with her
arms pinned behind her.
VICTORIA
70
Let me go!
MARK
Promise to stop gouging me with your
bony fingers?
VICTORIA
Okay.
VICTORIA
Wait. Did you really-
MARK
Think you were out to get me? No. I
wouldn’t like that anymore than you.
VICTORIA
Please don't go. Let's start over.
It's so cold out there.
MARK
Well, yeah. It is.
VICTORIA
Did you mean it the other day, when you
said that you enjoyed - you know - it?
Was it really all right?
MARK
It was better than all right.
VICTORIA
I mean mechanically. Was everything
working the way it should?
MARK
Yeah. You could make a living at it.
VICTORIA
You'll get free samples anytime.
71
keyboard and stands there uncomfortably. VICTORIA's
parents, SHIRLEY and LEON, come noisily in the door,
brushing and stomping away the snow.
LEON
What a night! Well, hello, Mark.
VICTORIA
How was the movie, Dad?
LEON
The movie was good, but the sound was
lopsided. The speaker on the left side
seemed to be dead.
SHIRLEY
How's the homework coming?
MARK and CARSON are squeezed into stands watching the last
seconds of the first half of a close basketball game. They
are focused on the cheerleaders, who are cavorting and
tumbling during a timeout. VICTORIA is one of the
cheerleaders. The pep band is blasting out the school
song.
MARK
Scientists think that the ability to
recognize symmetry in one's environment
may have played a significant part in
survival.
CARSON
And?
MARK
These cheerleaders. They're quite
symmetrical.
The half ends; the teams clear the floor. Much of the
crowd stands. Some head for the doors. MARK leaves CARSON
talking to some friends and goes down to the corner of the
gym where the pep band is set up.
72
MR. REDD
Good timing! We were just about to kick
off one of your arrangements. Would
you do the honors?
MARK
Love to. Which one?
MARK
Great idea. Okay, gang - here we go
LEON
I couldn't believe it. I just had the
brakes done, and now on the
transmission! We were hoping it would
be Vicki's car someday.
MARK
Oh, you wouldn't want a big car like
that at college - ow!
VICTORIA
I'm sorry. I thought that was the
table leg again.
MARK
Can’t you relax? My leg is going to be
black-and-blue.
SHIRLEY
Vicki, are you feeling all right?
VICTORIA
I'm fine, Mom. I'm just full of
73
nervous energy. I need to go for a
walk.
She gets up. MARK follows, thanking them all for the meal.
He follows VICTORIA to the front room, where they put on
their jackets. The walls are covered with pictures of
Victoria: as a baby, toddler, posed with different
relatives, playing sports, with parents on trips. They go
out the door. It is clear and sunny and cold.
MARK
What the hell is with you? You were
kicking me on purpose.
VICTORIA
Because you can't take a hint. My
parents get nervous when I talk about
college.
MARK
What? They don't want you to go to
college?
VICTORIA
Of course they do. They just don't
want me to leave them.
MARK
Excuse me? Miss 'can't wait to get the
hell out of here'? What did they think
you were going to do when you graduate?
VICTORIA
They know. They've been saving for my
college since before I was born.
They're just not emotionally ready for
it to happen.
MARK
You're an only child.
74
VICTORIA
That's part of it.
MARK
Where you want to go?
VICTORIA
I want to go everywhere. I want to
enroll in dozens of Universities, all
at the same time. I want to go to
Homecoming with a hundred thousand
drunken, screaming football fans. I
want to scuba dive in the Pacific and
ski in the Rockies. And get credit for
it. I want to study writing and
biology and business and psychology. I
want to take a year abroad at Oxford
and Heidelberg and the Sorbonne. I
want everything, all the time,
everywhere.
MARK
That could get expensive.
VICTORIA
I'm an only child, remember?
MANAGER
How's our pizza compare to the big
city?
MARK
Mmm.
MANAGER
My son tells me that you guys have a
band going.
MARK
75
Mmm mmm.
MANAGER
He says you're hot. Between all the
money I've spent on music lessons and
he's spent on records, I would hope
that he'd know.
MARK
He studies with Mr. Cremetti, doesn't
he?
MANAGER
Since the second grade.
MARK
Stan plays guitar with us.
MANAGER
No shit? That's one talented family.
Well, anyway, I have a problem. I need
a band to play Thursday nights. You
interested?
MARK
Here? But we're not country.
MANAGER
I know. I want some new music in here.
I already got Fridays and Saturdays
booked with out-of-town talent.
CARSON
What about the Highwaymen?
MANAGER
Ben and Roy both work for Crowell
Copper. They're getting transferred to
the Kingston, Arizona mine. I don't
think that Barry Lee playing bass all
by himself is going to cut it. So what
do you say?
MARK
It's a deal.
MANAGER
76
Great. Bring your gear round the back
Thursday, anytime. Play from eight to
one. Ten minute break every hour.
MARK
Damn, I forgot to ask him about the
money.
CARSON
Screw the money. Stan's going to shit
a concrete block.
MARK
Lotta mud.
MAN
Seven fucking yards.
CARSON
That won't blow away.
MARK
Say, Stan, we got an offer to play at
the Strike on Thursday nights. What'd
ya think?
STAN
Son of a bitch?
MARK
Five hundred bucks a pop.
STAN
Son of a bitch.
CARSON
We already kinda made a commitment.
77
STAN
Son of a bitch!
MARK
It'll be just like the shed...with
slots instead of hay.
STAN
Son of a bitch.
MARK
Thursdays are a slow night.
Practically deserted.
STAN
Son of a bitch.
MARK
We start this week.
STAN
Son of a bitch.
MARK
Hello, this is the Foster residence.
If you are calling to ask about the
Shed, we will be playing tonight
starting around seven. If you have a
message for Mark Foster or for Mr. or
Mrs. Foster, please leave it after the
beep.
78
in every minute. MARK and STAN are in the conversational
grouping, looking at some charts.
GIRL
What's the problem?
GIRL
Charlie! You know the drill. You can't
come drunk. You want us to get shut
down?
CHARLIE
I am not drunk, goddamnit!
GIRL
C'mon. Give me your keys, and I'll
drive you home.
CHARLIE
Fuck you!
GIRL
Drive carefully, Charlie.
79
CHARLIE
Fuck you!
SANDRA comes in the door and looks around the shed in awe.
She spies MARK and comes over to sit beside him.
SANDRA
This is boss!
MARK
Where's the rest of the tribe?
SANDRA
Fast asleep. I thought I'd come out
and see what all the fuss was about.
MARK
Fuss?
SANDRA
Are you kidding? This is the talk of
the town.
MARK
Jesus! What is this?
CARSON
New wheels. Got it at a yard sale over
on Oregon Street. I'm going to paint
her apple red with black tiger stripes.
Pretty cool, huh? Did you tell them all
yet?
MARK
I have an announcement. We won't be
able to open the shed on Thursdays
80
anymore. We've got a regular gig at
the Strike. You've all been very
generous, but we tapped out buying
hardware, and we can really use the
cash. We'll still be here Fridays and
Saturdays.
CARSON
The crowd falls silent as Carson
prepares to tee off on the first hole
of sudden death here in Augusta. The
intense pressure seems to have Woods
and Duval looking tight, but young
Carson is relaxed and confident as he
addresses the ball. Carson, who is the
leading money-winner on the PGA tour
this year as well as the drummer for
the famous.... Hey. What's the name
of our band?
MARK shrugs.
CARSON
Jesus, will you look at that coq au
vin? Stan, what the hell did you do to
deserve this?
81
They go into the kitchen. JULIE quickly turns and puts her
finger to her lips.
PATTI
So we have the galantine of turkey with
the imported truffle rolled inside
served with poached mandarin oranges
and a side of tomato provencale.
Victoria, thanks for cohosting today.
VICTORIA
It was my pleasure.
JULIE
Cut!
VICTORIA
Wash your hands.
CARSON
Si, Mrs. Grasso.
VICTORIA
Who?
MARK
Bryan Grasso's mom. She was deathly
afraid of germs.
CARSON
I still have dishpan hands. Every time
we took five she would yell, "Wash your
hands when you come into my kitchen!"
I think she made her own soap so it
would have extra lye in it.
MARK
They were in a band.
VICTORIA
When was this?
MARK
82
I never told you about the Junior High
Rock and Roll Revival? The Golden Age
of Garage.
VICTORIA
Please do.
They all sit down at the table Patti has been loading with
food.
MARK
You know that pink house across the
street from the Junior High? When we
were in the seventh grade, the Rusts
lived there. Steve was a senior, I
think, and he had an older sister who
was a secretary for the city.
CARSON
Sarah. My first love.
MARK
You wished. Steve and Sarah both
played guitar. Steve would come home
from school every afternoon and drag
his guitar and amp out into the carport
and grind away. We watched him out of
the windows in last period. Some of us
started to go over and hang out and
listen to him after school. Later,
Sarah would come home and get out her
guitar and the two of them would jam.
It wasn't long before we were
scrounging around for guitars of our
own. Steve showed us some chords, and
away we went. By eighth grade, there
were quite a few kids who could play.
Of course, no one could play like Stan,
but we didn't know Stan played at all.
CARSON
I put together a trap set. Me and
Bryan and Dave Stanger and Kenny
Lamonica were The Scrofulous Toads.
VICTORIA
Why did you switch to bass?
83
MARK
There were too many guitar players.
You can't have a band with just
guitars. I saw an old Fender bass in a
yard sale in Carson City and got my dad
to buy it for me. I was the only bass
player in town for months. I was in
three bands at the same time - Hard
Water, The Dipsticks, and Too Dilute.
CARSON
That summer before high school you
could hear guitars twanging on every
street in town. We would set up right
in the Grasso's driveway and play. We
got really good at "Pipeline", you
know, by the Chantelles? We played it
over and over.
MARK
Drove the grownups crazy. As far as
they were concerned, if it didn't have
a steel guitar and wasn’t about
alcoholism and ignorance, you were just
making noise. It was the purest punk.
No-talent smart-ass kids with cheap,
loud amps. Then we got to high school.
Football practices lasted until dark,
and girls took more time, and we got
cars. The bands played less and less.
Then Sarah got married, and Steve went
into the Army. There were a dozen
bands in town that summer. Two years
later there were zero.
JULIE shoves a last bite of food into her mouth and holds
up her plate for all to see.
JULIE
Clean plate!
84
waitresses come in and out a back door, carrying parcels
and food, changing shifts, grabbing the air, smoking
cigarettes.
MARK
He's not going to come.
CARSON
Maybe. If he can't, he can't. What're
we gonna do about it?
MARK
Just in time!
CARSON
Mark though you'd bailed.
STAN
Patti said I should give it a fair try.
CARSON
Or what? No sex?
STAN
That's got nothing to do with it.
MARK
Okay. Let's get in there while we have
that old momentum going.
MAN
Is it too early to make a request?
MARK
What can we play for you?
85
MAN
How about "Thunder Road"?
MARK
Ah. The one and only hit of Robert
Mitchum.
MAN
No. Garth Brooks.
MARK
Sorry. Don't know it.
MAN
You know anything by Garth Brooks?
MARK
No.
MAN
How about Clint Black?
MARK
Nope.
MAN
Gatlin Brothers?
MARK
How about some Jerry Jeff Walker?
MAN
Who?
MARK
Kinky Friedman?
MAN
Well, how about some Beatles, then?
MARK
We don't do any Beatles.
MAN
Don't you know anything? What the hell
are you going to play?
86
MARK
We'll play whatever you want. Just
nothing by one of those prettyboy
neocowpokes with clean boots and fancy
hats. And no Beatles. I'm sick of the
fucking Beatles. The boomers who
control the radio stations have been
cramming that ancient shit down our
throats too long.
MAN
Well, whatever it is you do play, play
it. We want to dance.
MARK
Help us do "Joyride"?
SANDRA
Here?
MARK
Why not? I made a bunch of copies so we
could have a good old-fashioned sing
along.
SANDRA
Good thought. I'm the only one here
who could even fake it.
CARSON
Yee haw! Are we gonna line dance to it,
hoss?
MARK
Good evening, cowboys and cowgirls.
This is a light-hearted little tune
name of "Joyride", and it has nothing
to do with rodeo. Ladies, you've got
to help us out on the chorus, if you
would. It'll become clear to you in
87
just a moment.
CARSON
I'm glad I have tomorrow off. It'll be
a while before I can even think about
sleep.
MARK
Performance high.
CARSON
It's doing Patti some good. Vicki dig
it?
MARK
How did you know?
CARSON
It's not too obvious. Anyway, in this
state she's legal. Believe me. I've
read the statute carefully.
MARK
She's quite mature.
CARSON
Whatever. Too bad she couldn't catch
us tonight. We were rockin' and
88
reelin' and hangin' from the ceilin'.
MARK
I have a clock radio. Takes forever to
wake me up - an hour, sometimes. I
just lie there drifting and listen.
One morning I was in a dream when the
music came on, and the tune got
incorporated into the story. I was in
a band, a big band, and we were playing
a gig in some club. We had to push
together lots of little tables to make
a stage. Then we jumped up on them to
play. It was "Don't Change" by INXS.
I was playing something shaped like a
guitar, but I could make all the sounds
in the song come out of it, just by
strumming it and willing it to come
out. Like one of those things that
Mrs. Ross had in second grade, where
you hold down one button and strum and
get B-flat chord, only a thousand times
cooler. Like my thoughts were turned
into sound.
CARSON
Why don't we play it?
MARK
It was the kind of dream you shouldn’t
try to make real.
89
BOUNCER
IDs?
MARK
She's with us.
BOUNCER
I still gotta see the cards.
VICTORIA
Of course.
BOUNCER
OK.
BOUNCER
This you?
MARK
Of course that's me.
BOUNCER
Doesn't look like you.
MARK
It's three years old. My hair was
longer.
BOUNCER
How old are you?
MARK
Twenty-one.
BOUNCER
What year were you born?
MARK
Fourteen hundred and ninety-two.
BOUNCER
90
Fucking musicians.
MARK
That flat pisses me off. Sixteen years
old and the guy doesn't blink. Me he
wants to kick out.
CARSON
She's more mature than you.
MARK
It's not fair. I'm finally twenty-one,
damn it, and I demand respect!
VICTORIA comes in
MARK
Well?
VICTORIA
Three judges. Number one is an elderly
woman, almost forty.
CARSON
Prepare the casket.
VICTORIA
She's wearing a red gown with tons of
fake emerald jewelry. Badly frizzed
hair. She reviews movies and theater
for the Gazette.
MARK
Okay, good. I think.
VICTORIA
Second judge is male. Maybe twenty
years old. He's got longer hair than
Fabio and a pair of leather pants I
will kill him for later.
91
MARK
Hmm. Hard to call.
VICTORIA
Last one is a really skinny guy. Can't
tell if he's young or old. Could be
terminally ill - he's the whitest white
man I've ever seen. Dressed all in
black. Don't look at him when you get
out there. It’s way too scary.
MARK
An aesthete. Excellent. The other two
bands tonight are headbangers. Sounds
like at least two of the three judges
are artistes. I think we should play
"All Over In Blue" instead of
"Crackup".
CARSON
Whatever. Where the hell is Stan?
MARK
In the head. I told him to stick his
finger down his throat and it'd make
him feel like a new man.
VICTORIA
That's awful!
VICTORIA
Stan! Are you all right?
She guides him into a chair and hands him the drink she is
carrying. STAN accepts the glass and drains it in one
gulp.
MARK
What was that?
VICTORIA
Pepsi. Relax. He's nervous.
MARK
92
Nervous? For Stan this isn't anything
like nervous. Before our first
football game freshman year, three of
us had to pry his hands off the locker
room door and carry him out to the
field.
VICTORIA
Oh my God.
MARK
He had fifteen tackles. Six sacks,
three on running plays. The other team
had to pry their quarterback's hands
off their locker room door and carry
him out to the field for the second
half. I'd be worried if Stan was calm.
You remember Tommy Roberts, lived out
on the Lazy B Ranch? He was two years
ahead of us. State champ in wrestling
when he was a junior and a senior.
Guess who used to kick his ass on the
mats in PE?
CARSON
Mr. Probert was always ticked off that
Stan wouldn't go out for the team.
STAN
They didn't need me. They had Tommy.
VICTORIA
You didn't want to go out by yourself.
MARK
How's that Morrisey song go? "Shyness
will keep you from doing all the things
in life you'd like to...."
MARK
What's the matter?
VICTORIA
Don't you realize how much courage it
takes for Stan to do this for you?
93
MARK
Sure I do. And I’m proud of him.
CARSON
Stop it. You're going to make me cry
too.
EMCEE
Our last band tonight is brand new. I
believe that this is their onstage
debut. They've been together for just
five months. Dudes and dudettes, give
it up for: Clean Plate!
CARSON
Did you see the look on those dudes'
faces?
MARK
Whose?
CARSON
94
That other band. Spellcheck. I wish
I'd had a camera. They thought they
were the second coming of Gwar.
MARK
We smacked them.
CARSON
Croaked their asses.
MARK
Stomped them like roaches!
CARSON
Whipped them like bad dogs!
MARK
That was our best stuff. We've got a
week to come up with some new best
stuff. If we play the same shit, we're
toast.
CARSON
Don't bring me down, man. Let us enjoy
it tonight.
MARK starts singing “We are the champions”, and the others
join in. At the end, MARK stretches it out to "We are the
champions of the-biggest-little-city in the world".
MARK
I think I'll walk home from here.
Thanks for the ride.
CARSON
Tomorrow night?
MARK
Seven o'clock.
95
They wave goodbye as STAN drives off. VICTORIA sits down
on her front steps. MARK joins her. Their breaths are
clouds in the black night sky.
MARK
Makes you wonder what we could be doing
after a year or two, huh? With enough
time to practice, money for bigger
amps, time to work out the new tunes,
another guitar, some keyboards?
VICTORIA
You need a bigger band?
MARK
Naw. All you really need is bass,
guitar, drums. Anything you can't do
with that, you shouldn't do at all.
But more time would be nice.
VICTORIA
You think that Stan and Carson want to
spend more time rehearsing?
MARK
We could really go somewhere.
VICTORIA
You think Stan is going to tour? You
think he's going to leave Patti and
Julie so you guys can work in Reno and
Vegas and San Francisco and LA? Because
that's what you'd have to do. Can you
see Stan in front of ten thousand
shrieking kids? Frankly, I can't. Did
you know that he and Patti haven't
spent one night apart since they got
married?
MARK
Wow. How do you know?
VICTORIA
Patti told me. Those two are so
seriously in love. It makes me
jealous. And what about Carson? He
couldn’t survive where he wasn’t the
96
dictator of cool.
MARK
What about me? What's my failure?
VICTORIA
Being in love and being different
aren't failures. And you certainly
have no arresting flaws that I've seen.
And I've seen all of you.
MARK
Dropping out of college? Crawling back
home?
VICTORIA
Look, I don't know why you're still
here. You've never let me in on your
reasons. And I know that you'll leave
again. Too soon. You three - you're
magic. The Muse is a sadistic bitch.
She tosses you guys together to satisfy
her need for beautiful music. Well,
the music might find a way out of this
valley, but you guys - together - never
will.
MARK
Carol! How have you been?
CAROL
Merry Christmas, Mark. How is life in
this burg?
MARK
Slow.
97
CAROL
Going back in January?
MARK
Not that I know of.
CAROL
Why are you doing this to yourself?
MARK
There was no war to run off to.
CAROL
So what do you do with yourself around
here?
MARK
I got a job with the county road
department.
CAROL
Still playing with trucks in the
sandbox.
MARK
It's a big ass sandbox. And we got a
band up. Me and Carson and Stan.
CAROL
Stan...Cremetti?
MARK
The very same. Hard to believe, but he
plays the guitar just like a ringin' a
bell.
CAROL
That is hard to believe. Are you guys
any good?
A car goes by: three teenage boys with the windows down,
the stereo screeching. They all wave at MARK, who nods at
them, thinking. Then he recognizes the tune.
MARK
Listen - that's us. Bootlegged.
98
CAROL
The big time.
MARK
You ain't kidding. Why, we won a night
at the KRNV Battle of the Bands. We're
in the finals on New Year's Eve.
CAROL
So is that your new career?
MARK
Maybe.
CAROL
I'm having a party Wednesday night.
Bring some beer or whatever. I'll have
plenty of food. Everybody who's in
town will be there. They'll all want
to see you.
MARK
Great. I have to work Thursday,
though. And play at the Strike.
CAROL
You're playing at the Strike? I
thought they only had country music.
MARK
Well, come on in Thursday night. It
ain't country then.
MARK
99
Borque has it behind his net. He turns
up ice at full speed - he sheds a
defender - a flick of the head and he
jukes another - he drops it for the
trailer...
CARSON
John Brodie collects the snuff can! The
crowd roars!
MARK
John Brodie was a football player.
CARSON
But we spin Brodies in the snow, not on
grass. You going to Carol's party?
MARK
I guess.
CARSON
You guess? Don't you want to hang with
the old chums and swap college tales?
MARK
Maybe.
CARSON
Gonna bring Vicki?
MARK
Why not?
CARSON
Hey, bring her. I was just wondering
if she would be bored.
MARK
Because she's still in high school?
CARSON
No, because she doesn't hardly know any
of that bunch. Forget I mentioned it,
okay?
100
INTERIOR. MARK'S HOUSE. NIGHT.
MOM
Have a nice time.
MARK
Thanks. Don't wait up.
MOM
Is Vicki going?
MARK
Naw. She doesn't want to hang out with
us old farts.
GIRL ON FLOOR
I had this TA for English Lit, some
foreigner, you know? It was bizzarro -
Shakespeare with an accent, nobody
could follow.
MARK
I thought you'd be swamped with
homework.
VICTORIA
I am.
MARK
101
Carol?
CAROL
Sure, I remember Vicki. My brother's
in your class. He's gone to Reno with
his friends. I'm glad you could come,
though.
VICTORIA
Thanks.
CAROL
I was telling all the guys about your
band.
MARK
There aren't any onions in it.
MARK
Magic words.
CAROL
That's nice.
MARK
Yeah. The acoustics suck, I know.
102
He looks around at his friends. They are either carrying
on as before or listening politely.
VICTORIA
You’re not mad at me for showing up?
MARK
No.
VICTORIA
Then why are you so pissy?
MARK
I'm not pissy.
VICTORIA
Yes you are. You got bent out of shape
when they didn't like your tape.
MARK
They liked it.
VICTORIA
No, they didn't. Why should they?
It's scratchy and echoey, and it sounds
nothing like you. They were just being
polite.
MARK
How do you know? You were parked in
front of the computer all night.
VICTORIA
I still saw what was going on.
MARK
What was going on?
VICTORIA
They can't like your music. The minute
you put that tape on, they all backed
103
away from you.
MARK
No, they didn't.
VICTORIA
You scare them. I could smell it.
You're doing something which scares the
pee out of them. You dropped out.
They need for you to be miserable.
They don't want to hear about your job
or your band or your sexual escapades
with attractive and willing young
women. They only want you to go back
to school. They want you to say that
quitting before you grasped the Holy
Grail was a mistake.
MARK
Here I thought they loved and respected
me.
VICTORIA
They have their own vision of your
future. To go against that takes some
big balls.
MARK
I'll take that as a compliment.
VICTORIA
Do you like it when I talk dirty?
Balls, balls, balls, balls.
MARK
Quit that!
VICTORIA
Let's park on a dark road and pretend
we're back in high school.
MARK
You are in high school.
104
INTERIOR. RENO NIGHTCLUB. NIGHT.
VICTORIA
Ohh! Sexy!
MARK
Are you aroused?
VICTORIA
Yeah, right. I won't date a man who
has better hair than me.
CARSON
Did you scope the judges?
VICTORIA
Three males. One has a shaved head.
Torn denim. Badly executed tattoos.
Second guy looks like a Mafia boss.
Oily hair, gold chains. Last one is
the lead singer from Spellcheck.
MARK
Fuck. Stan, we're going to play the
little piggies number.
STAN
You're kidding.
MARK
I never kid. Start it slow, finish it
fast. And Stan, I want a nice long
solo in the middle.
STAN
Solo? There's no solo in the piggy
song.
105
MARK
You're right. Okay, nevermind. Bad
idea.
CARSON
Does that-
MARK
I think so. Stanley, get ready to
oink, bud.
MARK
Once there were five little piggies in
a row
Oink, said one, I've got to go
Oink, he said, and oink he did
He got up and away he went
Oink, oink oink oink oink,
oink oink oink oink,oink oink oink
oink...
106
Oink, oink oink oink oink,
oink oink oink oink,oink oink oink
oink...
Wee wee wee, Stanley, all the way home!
MARK
Piggies! In a row!
Piggies! Got to go!
Oinkoinkoinkoinkoinkoinkoinkoink....
MARK
Thank you!
MARK, CARSON, and STAN are standing in the alley behind the
club. VICTORIA comes out the door.
VICTORIA
What the hell was that? It was weird
and wonderful.
CARSON
Weird, anyway.
MARK
Where have you been?
VICTORIA
Watching them award the prize.
MARK
Who won?
107
VICTORIA
No Santa.
MARK
Good, I liked them.
VICTORIA
Stan, that was transcendental. Did you
improvise the whole thing?
STAN
Did I have a choice?
VICTORIA
Well, people in the crowd were very
impressed.
STAN
Thanks.
VICTORIA
Where's Patti?
STAN
She's meeting us at the party. We
promised Julie she could come.
MARK
Hell, we could have gotten Julie in
here with one of Vicki's fake IDs.
EMCEE
Hey - I'm glad I caught you. You've
got a great sound. I really thought
you had a shot.
MARK
Thanks. No Santa was great.
EMCEE
Should be. They've around for five
years. Anyway. I was wondering if you
guys had a tape. I have the new music
show on Saturday and Sunday, midnight
108
to three. You know: Graveyard Shaft.
Drop me a tape, and I'll work in some
of your tunes. How about it?
MARK
Thanks. I'll drop one off at the
station.
EMCEE
Okay! Well, nice meeting you all.
Great show tonight.
VICTORIA
Five minutes until the New Year.
MARK
Big deal. It's arbitrary. The New
Year should begin on one of the
equinoxes, at least. Besides, think
about it: most of the people on this
planet begin their new year on some
other day.
VICTORIA
Poo on you. All times are arbitrary.
That's the whole point. Pick a moment
and have a new beginning. Shed the
old, ring in the new.
CARSON
Make the same resolutions again and
again.
109
VICTORIA
At least you make them. That's better
than never even trying.
CARSON
I resolve not to make any resolutions.
MARK
And what do you predict for the coming
year, Carson the Magnificent?
CARSON
I see all. Kurt Cobain and JFK will be
seen jamming in Area 51. They join
Lollapalooza with Lady Di as lead
vocals.
VICTORIA
Stop staring at my butt.
MARK
Am not.
VICTORIA
Then how come I always have to go
first?
MARK
Rattlesnakes. They let the first
person by.
VICTORIA
How gallant.
MARK
Move that fine butt, snakebait.
110
They come to the top, a large rounded dome. There is a
cairn at the very top. They search about for two suitable
rocks and lug them over. They set them down side by side
and then sit down on a nearby boulder. They can see the
whole valley; the green and straw squares of irrigated
crops in the flat, the olive-drab and tan of the scrub and
sage where the land rises out of watering range, the tiny
houses of the town. MARK points up at a puffy contrail
behind a pinpoint of silver.
MARK
One time I flew to school out of San
Francisco. We flew right over Tahoe,
then just south of here. Thirty-five
thousand feet and I could see the
houses. They were tiny - like Monopoly
hotels but with real windows. I could
see my father's truck pulling into the
driveway.
VICTORIA
I want to see the world from up there.
MARK
This'll have to do for now. I don't
have my jet yet.
VICTORIA
Look at the river, how the sun shines
off it in the bends...like tinsel.
MARK
There's Carson's trailer. There's
Stan's house and the Strike. Can't
quite see the shed from here.
VICTORIA
I used to lie out on the lawn and watch
for the jets passing over. Little
sparkling bits of silver, full of
people all going somewhere exciting.
They go over us so high that you
couldn't hear the sound. I thought I
was invisible to them. Was I?
MARK
Huh?
111
VICTORIA
Can you see actual people on the ground
from up there?
MARK
No, I don't think you can.
VICTORIA
So I was right.
MARK
Why did we do that? Is it illegal to
walk and drink beer?
CARSON
I don't know. Reflex.
MARK
C'mon - let's go over to the C&C and
get a colder one.
They turn down an alley. MARK stops after a bit and cocks
his head to listen. They hear a woman singing, a powerful
full voice in the middle of "Heart Like a Wheel". MARK
motions to CARSON to follow and vaults a low fence. They
run quietly up to a house from which the voice is coming
out of the window open over their heads. They squat on the
lawn, backs against the house. The woman is obviously
singing in the shower: water spraying in the background,
acoustics of bare tile.
MARK
What pipes! Who is that?
CARSON
112
Must be Betsy Greene. She's renting
this place.
MARK
Betsy Greene? That scrawny little
thing?
CARSON
You haven't seen -
The water and the voice stop. MARK jumps up and heads for
the front of the house.
CARSON
She isn't-
MARK goes to the front door and rings the doorbell. After
a moment, the door is opened. BETSY GREENE turns out to be
a gorgeous blonde Amazon, dripping wet, barely covered by a
small towel.
BETSY
Yes? Oh, hi, Carson. Mark?
MARK
Uh, yeah. Hi.
BETSY
What can I do for you?
MARK
Uh - we heard you - uh - singing....
BETSY
Oh.
MARK
You have a great voice. Uh - we - uh -
me and Carson - have a band, like....
BETSY
Yes?
MARK
Uh...how would you like to sing with us
sometime?
113
BETSY
Like an audition?
MARK
Not - uh - exactly - I mean - we just
sort of play for fun - so if you want
to sometime....
BETSY
That sounds great.
MARK
Uh - okay. Uh - bye, then.
BETSY
Should I bring my guitar?
MARK
Uh - yeah - that'd be cool-
CARSON
I tried to tell you: She ain't scrawny
anymore.
MARK
No shit.
MARK
Shit on a shingle! This sounds like a
dirge.
114
CARSON
Sorry. I cut my finger today.
MARK
Christ! On the band saw?
CARSON
No. On a sharp bone. Hurts like a son
of a bitch.
STAN
I got up at four-thirty.
MARK
We should cut it short.
CARSON
What happened to Betsy?
MARK
I don’t know. She gets off work at
seven. I gave her some tapes and
charts to go over. Maybe she's in the
shower again.
BETSY
I'm sorry. We had a code in the old
folks' wing.
MARK
Everything okay?
BETSY
Oh yes. He's still with us. So what
should I do?
MARK
You go over those charts?
BETSY
Every night.
115
MARK
Which one would you like to try?
BETSY
I really want to do "Slow Dog". I just
love it. But what's it about?
MARK
Some slow dog.
BETSY
Okay, yeah. But what's "see-through
skin"?
MARK
The kind of skin you can see through.
MARK
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a special
guest appearance by your own Betsy
Greene on vocals and rhythm guitar.
Please be kind. This is our first run
through on this chart. The usual rules
apply. If we stop, ignore it. If we
screw it up, keep your mouths shut. If
we stumble through to the end in one
piece, you must worship us.
MARK gives the downbeat to STAN, who starts the tune, still
yawning. CARSON and MARK join in together. MARK is
concentrating very hard to stay with the beat. CARSON is
looking around like he is distracted by something. BETSY
starts to sing, reading from the chart, not playing. She
searches around for a place to put it down so she can read
it and play, finally putting in on top of an amp. Just in
time for the chorus, she lights into the rhythm, pounding
the old guitar strings with powerful chops. She starts to
hop and dance and drive the beat so that CARSON has to snap
to attention to keep up with her. MARK is looking at her,
stunned, as she belts out the chorus, ripping into the
chords - making mistakes but not letting them slow her
down. STAN bites his lip and digs down, even starting to
move with the beat a little. By the end, they are smoking.
116
The crowd has stopped dancing, transfixed by the energy
pouring out on the stage. The last note rings out, then a
long instant of silence. Someone in the back of the crowd
says quietly: "Wow", then they all break out in shouting
and whistles.
ANNETTE
I don't know. I still think that going
into the Army would be a good thing to
do.
VICTORIA
Your dad would like that.
ANNETTE
You kidding? Sargent Dad? He'd swell up
and bust.
VICTORIA
You should apply for nomination to West
Point. You've got letters in every
sport. That's a big advantage.
ANNETTE
But I've only got a B average.
VICTORIA
I think you have a good chance.
ANNETTE
Really? How would I find out?
VICTORIA
I'll help you look into it.
117
They are in front of The Strike. A car pulls into an empty
parking space just ahead of them. The driver beeps the
horn. It is CHARLIE, waving at them. In the car are
several boys and girls. ANNETTE goes over and squats down
to talk to the boy on the passenger side.
BOY
What's up, ladies?
ANNETTE
The usual.
BOY
Hear of a party anywhere?
ANNETTE
No way. The town is dead.
BOY
Want to cruise with us for awhile?
We'll find a party.
VICTORIA
I've got to be back here in a little
while.
BOY
No problem. We'll drop you off.
VICTORIA
Okay.
118
INTERIOR. CHARLIE'S CAR. NIGHT.
VICTORIA
Your seat belts are broken.
GIRL
You wanna be burned to death? Not me.
If there's a crash I wanna be thrown
clear.
BOY IN BACK
Let's go by the onion shed.
VICTORIA
They're playing at the Strike.
BOY IN BACK
That sucks! What're we supposed to do?
CHARLIE
Fuck them! We're going out to the Hot
Springs and party.
VICTORIA
Charlie - you're drunk!
CHARLIE
Fuckin' A!
BOY IN FRONT
Hey!
CHARLIE
YEE HA! Take the wheel!
VICTORIA
119
Slow down!
BOY IN BACK
Chill out.
CHARLIE
Fuck you! You don't trust me?
VICTORIA
Stop it!
CHARLIE
Quit complaining!
BOY IN FRONT
Hey! Maybe we should!
ANNETTE
Slow down!
VICTORIA
Let us out!
CHARLIE
(He turns right around and
yells at them.)
SHUT UP!
120
EXTERIOR. THE STRIKE. NIGHT.
CARSON
I'm hotter than a whore on dollar
night.
MARK
And you smell like one, too.
CARSON
You sure you don't want to come over
after and catch the late movie? "They
Saved Hitler's Brain" is on.
MARK
I told Vicki I'd hang out with her.
CARSON
She can come too. Just keep your
tongues in your own mouths.
MARK
She was supposed to be out here to meet
us on break.
121
the front room, still more asleep than awake. MARK is
sitting in front of the TV, head held low, staring at a
screen of snow and static. He hears his father and looks
up, haggard, pale, but dry-eyed.
MINISTER
The casket's closed?
DIRECTOR
She went through the windshield, for
God's sake. There's no way I could
make her....
MINISTER
Jesus Christ.
DIRECTOR
So her parents have that - mess - as
their last memory of her because I
couldn't make her beautiful for
them....
MINISTER
You did your best.
MINISTER
122
Brothers and sisters, we come together
today in the sight of God to remember a
life. A friend, a classmate, a
daughter....
A day in late spring, dry and hot, full of the sounds and
smells of emerging life. Trees are in full bud; birds call
all about. The service is over. The somber gathering
shuffles slowly to their cars. Six young men, familiar
faces from the Shed, bear the white casket out to the
hearse. In their wake, small groups of sobbing teens cling
together. A second black vehicle is full of flowers. MARK
is standing, watching. PATTI comes up to him, carrying
JULIE. MARK holds out his arms; JULIE swings over to him
and hugs him tightly.
PATTI
Can we ride up with you?
MARK
Sure. Where's Stan?
PATTI
He'll be there.
They go and get into the car with Mark's parents. The
motorcade forms up, a long line of cars and pickups
following the hearse.
123
EXTERIOR. THE CEMETERY. DAY.
MARK
I tried to love but it came out wrong
I tried to live but I don't belong
I close my eyes and I see
Blood and roses.
124
League ballfield and sees MARK's car parked there.
MARK
Twelve.
PITCHER
Hitter shags.
MARK
How many balls we got left?
PITCHER
Two.
MARK
Okay, shoot BBs, kid. Hummbabe.
CARSON
Rocketfire.
MARK
Want in?
CARSON
How many dingers did you have to spot
these children?
The pitcher lobs one in and MARK smacks it over the center
field fence.
MARK
Oh, they let me win.
125
PITCHER
Hitter shags.
CARSON
Your dad said you haven't been home
much the past few days. Stan called me
at work to ask when the next practice
was.
MARK
They don’t make McGuire shag.
CARSON
I told Stan that you were mentally
prepping to go back to school.
CARSON
I didn't think you'd last this long.
MARK
Engineering is all about rational
design. You got your algorithms, flow
diagrams, stress analysis. You
maximize the loading efficiency and
minimize the wing chord deformation.
Quantitate and compute. Every problem
is reducible to a solvable form.
MARK
See that spin? It'll curve to the left
as it falls. Bernoulli effect.
Predicability. I saw a woman in front
of the Student Union one day. She had
the most amazing tits. As she walked
by, I had two thoughts. The first one
was that the internal bracing must be
vertically crosstied because of the
high yaw to pitch ratio. The second
126
was that if her nipples were fitted
with three-blade contrarotating
propellers, the nacelle coefficient of
drag on her breasts would be about
five.
CARSON
You are a sick puppy.
MARK
One night I wandered into somebody's
room and found an old bass. Same make
as mine. As soon as I picked it up I
knew what I needed.
CARSON
Drums and a guitar?
MARK
Music.
CARSON
If she were here, would you be going
back?
MARK
Can’t say. Life has a punishment for
speculation. It picks you up by the
heels like in the cartoons and smacks
you back and forth against the ground:
Whack! Whack! Whatif! Whatif! Until
you've got all the whatifs knocked the
fuck out of you. She said I had put on
my brakes and pulled off onto the
shoulder just because I couldn't see
the road beyond my headlights, and I
was afraid that maybe it would end.
Maybe the whole road wasn't really
there. But she had faith in the
highway at night. That you kept on
going and believed the way would become
clear as you approached. It doesn't
matter if I would have stayed here,
because she wouldn't. She was living
to get on that road.
127
INTERIOR. THE SHED. NIGHT.
The largest and quietest crowd they have ever drawn mills
about, eerily silent, anticipating. CARSON and STAN are on
stage, waiting. BETSY is down in the crowd, talking softly
to a group of girls. MARK comes in the door, hair all
askew, looking harried and rushed and mounts the stage.
BETSY comes up onto the stage and adjusts the mike stand
for him. MARK readies his bass and amp. The others are
ready, waiting and looking to him as he steps to the mike.
MARK
Sorry I'm late. Nothing but bad news
anymore, it seems. The Fenillis are
going to need their shed back in a
couple of months. And, yes - I'm
heading back to school. I'll miss this
old shed. I'll miss Carson Carson and
Stan the Man. I'll miss Betsy Greene,
who is like one of those things with
the two paddles they jolt you with in
the emergency room. I'll miss other
friends.
MARK
Don't ever say that! Don't say that
she's in heaven, or that she walks with
the angels or floats on a cloud or sits
next to God. What if she's not? What
if there's just darkness? Then what
will it have been worth? Don't bet
your life on heaven. Or reincarnation.
Believe in the life you've got. Live
it carefully. There's no guarantee you
get anything else. Don't get sloppy.
Don't expect some deity to bail you
out, give you another shot. And wear
your fucking seat belt...stay sober.
You got a hell of a present the other
day. The present was that now you know
you can die. Somebody gave that to
128
you. It cost...it cost a lot. Don't
fucking lose it.
MARK
There's an old song I like playing
because it reminded me of someone who
always seemed to be able to see the
world a little bit more clearly than
me.
STAN and CARSON start "The Whole of the Moon". When they
finish, MARK is the only one in the shed not wiping his
eyes.
MARK
When your heart stops, your brain stops
getting oxygen and glucose. Metabolism
stops. No more proteins get assembled,
no more messages shoot from cell to
cell across the synapses. But the
protease enzymes keep right on going,
like they didn't hear the whistle.
They get their energy from tearing
proteins apart, so they just keep
chewing up tissue. Fifteen minutes
after your heart stops, your brain is
three pounds of rancid mush. Every
memory, every feeling. All digested.
Fifteen minutes is all we are from
being a hot lunch for the billions of
129
bacteria that have been abiding in your
body all your life. Waiting for their
time. The quick don't much like that
about the dead. We don't like the
empty eyes and the smell of rotting
people. So we drain out all their
blood and replace it with poisonous
soup that fixes all the enzymes and
kills all the bacteria. Then we tuck
the one we loved into a very expensive
box and bury it all deep in the dirt.
Just a piece of meat gone bad. How
many thousand of years will that casket
hold tight? Two? Three? And where
are we by then? In a hole on some
other part of the planet, another box
of bones.
STAN
Patti's pregnant.
MARK
Oh, my God. That's wonderful. Julie
must be so happy. A baby.
MOM
Carson called a little while ago. The
band wants to have an early practice
today if you can make it.
MARK
See you in the frying pan.
130
EXTERIOR. THE SHED. DAY.
MARK
What's up? Is the power off?
BETSY
Surprise!
The lights come on. MARK sees an empty shed, nothing out
of the ordinary, really. STAN and CARSON are on the stage,
ready to play. BETSY is holding her guitar. He comes up
onto the stage. His bass is there, plugged in, amp on,
ready to go. STAN, grinning broadly, starts to play "Don't
Change". BETSY joins in with a jangly rhythm line; CARSON
hops in with the beat. MARK begins to sing. They go all
the way through. STAN holds out the last note - it is
eerily reminiscent of the echoing last note which floated
out over the cemetery. Then silence.
131
the bikers. Two very young girls are drawing with chalk on
the sidewalk. MARK stops.
MARK
That's a beautiful unicorn.
FIRST GIRL
Thank you.
SECOND GIRL
I got chalk for my birthday.
MARK
What a wonderful present. When was
your birthday?
SECOND GIRL
Yesterday.
FIRST GIRL
Would you draw a dinosaur for us? We
need a big dinosaur.
MARK
Okay. What kind of dinosaur should I
draw?
FIRST GIRL
A Tyrannosaurus.
MARK
Won't he eat the unicorns?
SECOND GIRL
No. They're friends.
FIRST GIRL
That's good!
SECOND GIRL
What's your name?
MARK
Mark.
132
FIRST GIRL
Hi Mark.
FATHER
What's this?
MARK
I'm drawing a friendly dinosaur. He
has unicorn buds on the side walk.
(To the girls.)
This is my dad. I have to go now.
FATHER
How come you're not at the Strike?
MARK
I got them a replacement. You going to
leave the truck there?
FATHER
What, it's going to get stolen? Mind
if I walk with you?
MARK
Of course not. Why would I mind?
FATHER
I thought you might want to say your
last goodbyes alone.
MARK
What do you mean?
FATHER
This is it for you. You'll never live
here again. When you graduate, you'll
get a job in a city somewhere. You'll
get married there, probably have kids
in the schools there. Sure - you'll
visit us, but face it. This is your
last night in your hometown.
133
MARK
I could come back here to live.
FATHER
And do what? You want to build
supersonic airliners, hypersonic
orbiters? You can't do that here. You
want to live that big city life,
anyway. You should be able to go out
to a club or whatever and not have to
see a familiar face if you don't want
to. You need to be able to meet women
you didn't go to kindergarten with. I
know all about that big city life. I
went to college in Pocatello, Idaho,
remember.
MARK
Maybe after all that I'll retire here.
FATHER
Just make sure all your children are
out of diapers by then. I'll take them
fishing, but no diapers.
FATHER
Finish your walk.
134
they are all drinking beers...
BLONDE
Apologize now. Then we dance.
MARK
I was in this band....
THE END
135