Praying for a Spiritual Child

By Mary Kretzmann, excerpted from: Finding God in the Heart of Your Family
Director of Ananda Healing Prayer Ministry

Tim and I were wedded twice. We had a family wedding, and then packed up and moved,
sight unseen, to Ananda Village as our honeymoon. It was Spiritual Renewal Week,
(1978) a special week of classes all taught by Swami Kriyananda, direct disciple of
Paramhansa Yogananda. At the end of that week, on Saturday night, we took Kriya Yoga
initiation for the first time, with Swamiji. The next morning, at Sunday Service, also with
Swamiji, we were married using the marriage vows written by Paramhansa Yogananda,
which includes the words: "To bring souls on earth to worship God as newborn souls.”

It was a very special time for us, for we were newly married, newly initiated into Kriya
yoga, and we knew we wanted to have a family. During the one of the classes at Spiritual
Renewal Week, Swamiji told the following story from Yogananda, which he later put into
his book, Conversations with Yogananda.

“A couple expressed to me their desire for a spiritual child. I prayed for them,
then showed them a photograph. This soul, I told them, would be suitable for
them, and was also, I felt, ready to be reborn on earth.

“‘Meditate on this soul,’ I said. ‘Concentrate especially on the eyes. Invite

him to come dwell in your home. In addition, have no sexual contact for six
months; abstinence will increase your magnetism.

“‘When, at the end of that time, you come together physically, think of that
person, and think also of God. If you follow my advice in all these respects, that
soul will be born to you.’

“They followed what I’d told them, and, some time

later, that was the very soul which was drawn into their
home.”

Conversations with Yogananda: Entry # 175

RECORDED, WITH REFLECTIONS, BY HIS
DISCIPLE SWAMI KRIYANANDA (J. DONALD
WALTERS)

Since it was our very first week at Ananda, I assumed that Swamiji taught this often.
However, it was another 20 years before I heard him mention it again! I can see why; it’s
certainly not everyone’s cup of tea. I was ready for this information because I loved
children, and we knew we wanted a family. I was also very motivated to do what I could
to draw in spiritual souls, as I mentioned in When Does the Soul Enter the Body?
Though newly married, we had already lived together for some time; we even owned a
cute little home in Arkansas. But as we came on to this spiritual path, we no longer
wanted to live in accordance with the norms of our generation; we wanted to align our
lives with Yogananda’s spiritual ideals. Once we had that realization we entered a period
of celibacy to pray for guidance. The question was not whether or not we loved each
other, for we were happy together. But how do you know when to take a solemn vow?
Suffice it to say, even though I’d had a deep intuition right before I met my husband that I
was about to meet “the one,” I still needed a prayerful process to to trust that inner voice
and “jump off the dock,” so to speak, and make it real with a vow.

Also, as we were coming onto the spiritual path, I was surprised to find that I was feeling
called to be a nun in catholic convent, even though I’d barely been to church since I had
left home! When I was a girl, I wanted to be a nun, as a form of dedication to God, and
Jesus and Mary. That seemed a long while ago, but that feeling came back at this time. It
was not overwhelming, but it was strong enough to get my notice. We were new at
meditating, but there were several times that I felt Divine Mother’s loving guidance in
this prayerful time. One day, I felt Her grace enter the stillness of my heart with these
words, “In this life, to learn unconditional love, be a mother.”

My heart was at peace. I knew my path… So – by the time we heard Swamiji’s class, we
were already prepared in many ways. We knew there was spiritual power in having
extended times of celibacy, as well as (in general) waiting, perhaps for a month or more,
between those special times of coming together as a couple. The mind enters a more
sublime state. The practice of meditation, plus a vegetarian diet, gives the body a sense of
calmness that makes this more readily attainable. (Fruit is especially calming and
uplifting.) We were young and in love, and still very romantic. We would laugh, hug, and
kiss, and generally enjoyed being with one another, but we also had this other goal, and
so we wanted to save the energy, and we knew that it was worth it.

I mention this because each couple has to find their own way with this process, but I
couldn’t relate to being a cold fish about it all. There was a still natural sense of joy and
affection in those times, yet with a sense of restraint. Sexual freedom and connection is
almost worshipped these days (especially in the media) so I feel a bit strange mentioning
that your life as a couple, and as a devoted soul, can be enhanced with periods of
celibacy, or “moderation,” define it as you will.

I also address this topic in my healing visualization, Psalm 23 in the Chakras:

“He leadeth me beside the still waters”

…The physical expression of love is an important, tender connection for many

couples. It is often best, then, to focus on bringing in greater love, and lessening
any sense of lust in the act, rather than to become radical and "renounce" it all
prematurely, in the name of spiritual zeal. As a married couple learns the
balance between sexual expression and inner stillness, great love can deepen
between them, if they are mindful also to find other ways to express their purified
 love for each other, lest they become too austere. Be deeply kind to one another,
always. Seeing the Divine Beloved enshrined in one another's forms, the couple
can both give and receive deeper love. In this way, love can, over time, be
transmuted from the second chakra up to the heart center. This process must
proceed with self-honesty, and compassionate consideration toward the needs of
the beloved and of oneself…

So, we were ready to ask the blessings of God, Christ, Guru in our marriage, and in our
desire for spiritual children. There was a deep blessing, and a powerful opening at my
spiritual eye, that accompanied the time of our daughter’s conception. I felt the grace of
our Guru perfecting the process, helping to uplift our consciousness, because we were
still such neophytes on the spiritual path. A special grace, power and upliftment
accompanied the conceptions of our other children as well. In addition, I sensed their
basic soul essence, and needs for growth in this lifetime. This has helped me as a parent.

It is a noble goal even to attempt this process of inviting a spiritual soul to your family.
God grace answers such prayers, and sincere intention and efforts, in this direction. Your
prayers and your intention are a magnet in and of themselves. This is an important point,
and it must be a large part of the reason that Paramhansa Yogananda put that line is his
marriage vows, "To bring souls on earth to worship God as newborn souls.”

That registers as a prayer in the ether, and helps those couples, I believe, even if they
aren’t able to practice the 6-month celibate period as stated, above. The principle of
conserving your sexual energy, to build spiritual magnetism for this prayer, however is
very important. Do whatever seems kind and reasonable for your marriage. Stretch
yourselves, but not to the breaking point. Over the years, I have counseled some couples
on this matter, and that is why I stress this directional, rather than absolute, approach.

I have seen that it can be helpful to some couples, and more attainable, to have a 6-month
period of intentional “moderation,” rather than complete celibacy. This can still help
build spiritual magnetism for your meditations, and for your prayers to invite a spiritual
soul to your family. Some traditions suggest only coming together physically once a
month. This will help the process. Again, think about it, and pray about it; ask to be
guided on what would be right for you now.

Some very saintly couples are naturally inclined to be celibate, living

mostly as “brother and sister” except when coming together solely for the
purpose of having children. The parents of Paramhansa Yogananda were
such a couple, as were the parents of St. Therese of Lisieux. So, if your
marriage is also in this category, you are in very august company, and you
should able to apply Yogananda’s instructions rather naturally.

The parents of St. Therese of Lisieux, Louis and Zelie Martin, prayed
for saintly children; all 5 of their children were deeply dedicated to God.
This is from St. Therese’s sister, Celine:

“…Not only my father when he was young, but my mother also, had desired to
enter the Religious Life. With the disappointment of their hopes, they both turned
towards the married state, but aimed at realizing in it the maximum of Christian
Spirit…After having lived for many months as brother
and sister, they then wished to have many children in
order to offer them to God…

…Between our parents there was a perfect agreement

of heart and mind. My father often spoke to us of our
"saintly mother," as he called her. On her part she
wrote to her brother: "What a holy man my husband is! I wish every woman in the
world could have his equal." The Father of the Little Flower: Louis Martin (1823-
1894) By: Celine Martin (St. Therese's Sister)

Saintly Parents of Yogananda

Paramhansa Yogananda’s mother confided to his sister that only once a year did they
unite together as husband and wife, for the purpose of having children. Otherwise, they
each had a private bedroom, which suited their deeply spiritual and meditative natures.
He wrote of his parents in Chapter 1: My Parents and Early Life:

…Father and Mother were Bengalis… Both were blessed with

saintly nature. Their mutual love, tranquil and dignified, never
expressed itself frivolously. A perfect parental harmony was the
calm center for the revolving tumult of eight young
lives…

Autobiography of a Yogi, by Paramhansa Yogananda

Yogananda at age six

Saintly Parents of Yogananda

So, my purpose is only to inspire you in your next step. I certainly don’t mean to
intimidate you with these wonderfully noble examples. If nothing else simply get a holy
picture or statue that reminds you of God’s love, and every time you see it, ask God to
bless your family with spiritually inclined children. Even that will help, because it gets
your energy going in that direction. And then, add in whatever else of what I have said
here that you feel able to do, while being loving toward your spouse, and yourself.
Special Circumstances
Some couples go through the heartache of miscarriages or infertility, and simultaneously
also want to pray for a spiritually receptive child. This requires special prayers suited to
this situation. The couple may be reluctant to practice long periods of celibacy in order to
build magnetism to draw a high soul. They don’t want to create an obstacle toward
conception. Several needs may coexist at once:
1) The desire for a child, in general
2) The need for the body to be healed in order to conceive
3) The hope for a spiritually inclined child
4) Prayers for guidance on how long to “try”
5) How many options and expenses are worth pursuing
6) When to let go, and simply enjoy the blessings of a peaceful meditative life
7) How to feel that life is always a gift, even when our deepest desires are denied or
delayed? How to avoid having this upset our lives, or marriage, or friendships?
8) How to gracefully enjoy the children of your friends and relatives

You may be going through all of this, simultaneously. If so, you must give yourself space
to find the right balance for you and your spouse in this situation. Pray your way through
this – together and individually. For the most part, men are more easily philosophical
about all this. That’s because fatherhood seems an abstract idea, and responsibility, yet
his loving concern for his wife, and her happiness, is very real. Strive to remain a source
of love, joy and comfort to each other. Keep it that way, no matter what the process and
outcome. Prayer and peaceful meditation will help you very much in this regard.

Couples vary in what steps they will take in order to conceive. One couple asked for
prayers because they were going to try in vitro fertilization. This was their only chance,
and I knew the prayers could also help with inviting a spiritually inclined soul to them. It
was successful all around, and they were blessed with a healthy baby girl. The child is
still very young, and has a lovely, joyful nature.

Praying to conceive, while also practicing times of celibacy, are not at cross purposes
with each other, because physically the process is enhanced with a time of waiting. Often
couples are counseled to wait until the woman is more fertile each month, as this allows
the husband’s sperm count to increase and strengthen. This waiting period could be spent
praying for a spiritual soul to be born to you. Think and pray about what you can offer the
child in terms of spiritual guidance and fulfillment. (You can read my book, “Finding God
in Your Family” for ideas on that.) Hold this intention and feeling up in prayer, and then
leave the results in the hands of the Divine.

A short movie for peaceful and meditative inspiration:

Thoughts on Spiritual Evolution, by Swami Kriyananda
…The Bhagavad Gita urges us not to be discouraged if we don’t find immediate self-
transformation at all levels… We should proceed steadily, by natural degrees, and always
joyfully. We should accept our own nature, for the time being, as it is, but seek to
harmonize it ever more perfectly with our higher realities. As Krishna puts it in the
twelfth Chapter:

“Cling thou to Me!

Clasp Me with heart and mind! so shalt thou dwell
Surely with Me on high. But if thy thought
Droops from such height; if thou be’st weak to set
Body and soul upon Me constantly,
Despair not! give Me lower service! seek
To reach Me, worshiping with steadfast will;
And, if thou canst not worship steadfastly,
Work for Me, toil in works pleasing to Me!
For he that laboureth right for love of Me
Shall finally attain! But, if in this
Thy faint heart fails, bring Me thy failure!”

Paramhansa Yogananda wrote concerning these lines that they are what make the
precepts of the Bhagavad Gita “so sweet, sympathetic, and useful in healing the manifold
sicknesses of suffering humanity.”

Indeed, in all of God’s Truth there is no room for any kind of negativity, and certainly
none for judgment either of others, or of oneself. We are God’s children. He has placed us
all together in this School of Life that we might learn – from one another, as well as by
our own inner reactions… It takes time to grow in understanding. Not everyone by any
means has reached the point in his spiritual evolution where he can offer his devotion
one-pointedly to God. A St. Francis of Assisi or a St. Teresa of Avila is that rarest flower
in the garden of earth: an almost-perfected being…

…The Bhagavad Gita tells us not to be unduly upset over our imperfections, but to do
what we can, with whatever good qualities we have to hand already, to climb toward
God… (Excerpted from Chapter 16)

The Promise of Immortality, By Swami Kriyananda

The True Teaching of the Bible and the Bhagavad Gita,

 “Healing With Divine Energy” Seminars, with Mary Kretzmann

“When Does the Soul Enter the Body?” By Mary Kretzmann

Finding God…in the Heart of Your Family, By Mary Kretzmann

Prayer-Demands for Children, By Paramhansa Yogananda

Life's Little Secrets - For Children, by J. Donald Walters

Meditation Supplies: From our family to you, with love: