Choose the Response That Comes Closest to How You'd Act, Be Honest! 1.

You tell your teenager brother that he can't use the car because he's been late three times. Your spouse overrides your veto and is about to hand over the keys. What would you do? a. You smile and pretend your spouse did not contradict you. b. You grit your teeth and stand your ground. 'You are going nowhere in this car," you say to your son through gritted teeth while giving your spouse the look that kills. c. You agree but calmly ask your son to promise he'll come home early this time. d. You tell your teenager you'll abide by your husband's decision today if he agrees to a family meeting the next day at which boundaries will be firmly set. Later, you have a discussion with your spouse about the importance of a united front. e. You can't help ittears come to your eyes at the injustice of it all. 2. You're hired for your enthusiasm. At a conference meeting, you get positively lyrical about an idea and your boss says, "Calm downyou're acting inappropriately." You do which of the following? a. Get very quiet and don't say another word for the rest of the meeting. b. Respond enthusiastically: "The reason nothing gets done around here is because we're all so damn passive. More of us should show a little energy!" c. Calmly apologize to the group with a big smile, and concede that may be you have been a bit over exuberant. d. After the meeting, discreetly ask the boss to be more specific about what he means by "inappropriate" and also what he recommends making meetings more productive. e. Slam down your pen on the table, exhale loudly, and look heavenward.
3. A co-worker is extremely manipulative and spreads false information about your performance you do which of the following?

a. Ignore the situation and put the episode out of your mindmaybe you're oversensitive and imagining the whole thing. b. Confront her, saying, 'You better stop talking about me. I've got some pretty damaging information to spread about you and make no mistake c. Try to make up with her by being more friendly d. Say to her, "I would like to discuss some things you have said about me to others because it may be keeping us from working well together." e. Approach her but get very nervous and emotional as you tell her how much she's upsetting you
4. Fill in the blank from the phrases below your best friend says: "I can't stand your always being late. I can't believe you're so inconsiderate and selfish. You probably would say something like:

a. "Sorry,listen, I like the tie pin you are wearing b. "You're arrogant and shrill and now that you bring up selfishness, let me tell you what a master of selfishness you are. c. "Whatever." d. "We need to talk about this right now. Let's see how we can change our meeting plans to make us both comfortable in the future." e. "How could you say such terrible thingslookI'm shaking."
5. Saima, your officemate, is a serious bubble gum chewer/popper. You love your division, but the noise is doing you in. A likely way you'd deal with it might be:

a. Ask your boss if you can change divisions. It'll be fineyou're flexible. b. Chew gum loudly to show what an annoying habit she has. Cut out articles on chewing gum and tooth decay and put them on her desk. Finally, complain to management. c. Get used to gum. d. Go out to lunch with her to discuss the problem. Tell Saima that the gum chewing bothers you, but you also know it's not fair to ask her to stop. Say, "Could we figure out a way to work it out likechewing just ten minutes out of every hour?" e. Tell Saima that your nerves are frazzled you're going to have a nervous breakdown.

6. Your colleague says, "I keep giving you new ways to get the job done and you insist on doing it your way, are you so inflexible?" Your answer:

a."I don't mean to be inflexibleby the way your report last weekit was great!" b. "Do you want it done your wayor done right way c. "SorryI'll do it your way from now on." D "Is there any part of my approach you find effective What do you think we can do to join my way with your way?" e. "Damn it! You ride carelessly over everyone' and I feel brutalized!!"
7. Check the response best describing your reaction to conflict. Don't lie please.

a. I withdraw from situations where people are getting furious with each other. b. I can usually overpower or intimidate the person who starts up with me. c. I believe that harmony in a relationship is more important than getting what you want. d. I find that conflicts give me an opportunity to learn more about the other person

e. When I'm having a fight with someone, my whole body reacts emotionally. It seems important that the other person know how I feel deep inside.
8. When I see hostility at work, this is what I usually think or do:

a. I try to control my feelings so hardly anyone knows what's going on in my heart. Anyway, there's rarely any hostility in my workplace. b. I do what I have to do to win. It's more important to be respected than loved. c. I'm tempted to give in order to smooth things over. Losing one's temper is a sign of poor breeding. d. I love to create an open forum and hear my opponent's point of view and try to find a solution that satisfies everyone. e. I say what I have to say even if I lose my cool-thats me take it or leave me.
9. Check the two statements that seem most true for you:

1. I reach agreements as quickly as possible so I don't have to deal with anger. 2. The meek will not inherit the earth. 3. I hardly ever express my views in a volatile situation. 4. I often plan ahead, trying to anticipate various options to deal with problems. 5. Getting really excited is not a bad argument strategy after the storm come the calm. 6. I can always find reasons to delay dealing with conflict; often the problem just goes away. 7. Compromises dilute everyone's side. I'd rather make an enemy than lose points. 8. I'd rather lose the argument than lose my temper 9. I'm good at putting myself in someone else's shoe if only for a moment. 10. If you don't express yourself with spirit, no one takes you seriously.
10. Your younger brother avoids affectionate physical contact with you in public. Last night at dinner with family friends you tried to take your sons hand and he pulled it away. ashamed! This is your reaction:

a) Try to forget about it b) You will punish him later in some way c) Live with it. Thats his style you cannot do anything about it d) Ask him at a quite time how do you feel son when I take your hand, how it embarrasses you. How do you think I feel when you pull it away? e) He hates it when you take his hand he doesnt deserve any affection at all