For Me and the many others who are BI-POLAR: BOOK- AN UNQUIET MIND e!

"er#t There $s a #art$"%&ar '$nd o( #a$n e&at$on &one&$ness and terror $n)o&)ed $n th$s '$nd o( madness* +hen yo%,re h$-h $t,s tremendo%s* The $deas and (ee&$n-s are (ast and (re.%ent &$'e shoot$n- stars and yo% (o&&ow them %nt$& yo% ($nd /etter and /r$-hter ones* 0hyness -oes the r$-ht words and -est%res are s%dden&y there the #ower to "a#t$)ate others a (e&t "erta$nty* There are $nterests (o%nd $n %n$nterest$n- #eo#&e* 0ens%a&$ty $s #er)as$)e and the des$re to sed%"e and /e sed%"ed $rres$st$/&e* Fee&$n-s o( ease $ntens$ty #ower we&&-/e$n- ($nan"$a& omn$#oten"e and e%#hor$a #er)ade one,s marrow* B%t somewhere th$s "han-es* The (ast $deas are too (ast and there are (ar too many o)erwhe&m$n- "on(%s$on re#&a"es "&ar$ty* Memory -oes* 1%mor and a/sor#t$on on (r$end,s (a"es are re#&a"ed /y (ear and "on"ern* E)eryth$n- #re)$o%s&y mo)$n- w$th the -ra$n $s now a-a$nst**** yo% are $rr$ta/&e an-ry (r$-htened %n"ontro&&a/&e and emer-ed tota&&y $n the /&a"'est "a)es o( the m$nd* 2o% ne)er 'new those "a)es were there* It w$&& ne)er end (or madness "ar)es $ts own rea&$ty* It -oes on and on and ($na&&y there are on&y other,s re"o&&e"t$ons o( yo%r /eha)$or**** yo%r /$3arre (rant$" a$m&ess /eha)$ors***** (or man$a has at &east some -ra"e $n #art$a&&y o/&$terat$n- memor$es* +hat then a(ter the med$"at$ons #sy"h$atr$st des#a$r de#ress$on and o)erdose4 A&& those $n"red$/&e (ee&$n-s to sort thro%-h* +ho $s /e$n- too #o&$te to say what4 +ho 'nows what4 +hat d$d I do4 +hy4 And most ha%nt$n-&y when w$&& $t ha##en a-a$n4 Then too are the /$tter rem$nders***** med$"$ne to ta'e resent (or-et ta'e resent and (or-et /%t a&ways to ta'e* 5red$t "ards re)o'ed /o%n"ed "he"'s to "o)er e!#&anat$ons d%e at wor' a#o&o-$es to ma'e $nterm$ttent memor$es 6what d$d I do47 (r$endsh$#s -one orda$ned a r%$ned marr$a-e* And a&ways when w$&& $t ha##en a-a$n4 +h$"h o( my (ee&$n-s are rea&4 +h$"h o( the me,s $s me4 The w$&d $m#%&s$)e "haot$" ener-et$" and "ra3y one4 Or the shy w$thdrawn d$s#arate s%$"$da& doomed and t$red one4 Pro/a/&y a /$t o( /oth ho#e(%&&y m%"h that $s ne$ther* 8$r-$n$a +oo&( $n her d$)es and "&$m/s sa$d $t a&& 91ow (ar do o%r (ee&$n-s ta'e the$r "o&o%r (rom the d$)e %nder-ro%nd4 I meant what $s the rea&$ty o( any (ee&$n-49 Kay :am$son $s one o( the (a"es o( man$" de#ress$on 6or $n more ster$&e terms /$#o&ar d$sorder7* 0he $s "%rrent&y the (a"e o( one o( the renowned resear"hers o( man$" de#ress$on and to#$"s re&at$n- to the d$sease ran-$n- (rom s%$"$de to "reat$)$ty* 0he $s a ten%red #ro(essor o( Psy"h$atry at :ohns 1o#'$ns 0"hoo& o( Med$"$ne a%thor o( a /est-se&&$n- memo$r and one o( the standard med$"a& te!ts on the s%/;e"t* 0he has a&so /een the (a"e o( madness and des#a$r a mer"%r$a& yo%nwoman whose &$(e /e"ame "ontro&&ed /y moods a s%((erer o( 9th$s .%$"'s$&)er $&&ness*9 1er memo$r An Un.%$et M$nd $s an honest and mo)$n- a""o%nt o( someone &$)$n- w$th the d$sease* +hat $s %n$.%e a/o%t :am$son $s that re-ard&ess o( her s"$ent$($" %nderstand$n- o( her menta& $&&ness she has the a/$&$ty to "on)ey de#ress$on and man$a w$th &yr$"a& #o$-nan"y* In An Un.%$et M$nd :am$son #ro)$des the reader w$th her #ersona& h$story draw$n(rom a ran-e o( sty&$sh &$terary .%otes and ;o%rna& &$'e a""o%nts to wea)e the "om#e&&$n- story o( her $&&ness* Ra$sed $n a m$&$tary (am$&y w$th a h$story o( menta& $&&ness tho%-h not one o( d$s"%ss$n- s%"h #ro/&ems :am$son ($rst dea&t w$th $ntense moods d%r$n- h$-h s"hoo&* These e!#er$en"es es"a&ated d%r$n- her %nder-rad%ate years and /y the t$me :am$son entered her m$d-twent$es man$" de#ress$on had ta'en o)er her &$(e* The memo$r &eads the reader thro%-h d$33y$n%#ward s#$ra&s on&y to /r$n- them "rash$n- /a"' down m$rror$n- :am$son,s own "y"&es o( moods* In the end some so&a"e $s rea"hed thro%-h thera#y med$"at$on 6&$th$%m7 and what :am$son )$ews as an o)erar"h$n- theme $n her story &o)e* 1er s%r)$)a& was $n #art $n the hands o( others her (am$&y her do"tor h%s/ands and &o)ers and :am$son a"'now&ed-es th$s*

It $s $m#ortant to "ons$der a &$(e &$'e Kay :am$son,s when th$n'$n- a/o%t the .%est$ons o( th$s "o%rse: does /ra$n e.%a& /eha)$or4 1ers was a &$(e that re)o&)ed aro%nd moods that "ontro&&ed her /eha)$or and how she (%n"t$oned $n the wor&d aro%nd her* The moods were the res%&t o( an $&&ness that a((e"ts many $nd$)$d%a&s* I( the /ra$n $s $ndeed the "a%se o( the 9s$"'ness9 o( moods then "an $t /e ar-%ed that moods are "reated /$o&o-$"a&&y4 As menta& $&&nesses &$'e man$" de#ress$on are (%rther %nderstood so"$ety $s mo)$n- $nte&&e"t%a&&y away (rom see$n- them as anyth$n- other than or-an$"* 0"$ent$($" resear"h o( menta& $&&ness re"e$)es more (%nd$n- now than $t e)er has* :am$son,s story #o$nts to th$s yet a-a$n* For her moods are wra##ed %# $n /$o&o-y her -enet$"s $ma-es o( her /ra$n (rom an MRI or PET s"an* I ($nd the $dea o( &ead$n- a &$(e o( 9moods9 to /e $ntr$-%$n- how the %#s and downs that one -oes thro%-h "an s#$n so (ar o%t o( "ontro& at the mer"y o( a w$t"hes, /rew o( ne%rotransm$tters* :am$son has (e&t e!tremes that most o( the #o#%&at$on w$&& ne)er rea"h: e%#hor$" a&/e$t man$" h$-hs to /e (o&&owed /y /&a"' #$t o( des#a$r &ows* These res#onses are #art o( her se&(* 0he $n (a"t wo%&d not trade her $&&ness (or a smoother r$de: 9I ha)e seen the /readth and de#th and w$dth o( my m$nd and heart and seen how (ra$& they /oth are and how %&t$mate&y %n'nowa/&e they /oth are*9 I( moods are a #art o( /eha)$or as an $nte-ra& #art o( se&( they m%st then ha)e some e.%a& $n the /ra$n "hem$"a&&y or str%"t%ra&&y* In :am$son,s "ase as $n the "ase o( many others the$r &$)es are r%&ed /y moods and th$s $s a -enet$" d$s#os$t$on* The "onne"t$on o( menta& $&&ness to /$o&o-y has /een an $m#ortant de)e&o#ment $n the str%--&e (or ad)o"a"y (or the menta&&y $&&* D$sease $s or-an$"< $&&ness $s so&$d not ($-%rat$)e* :am$son has made her d$sease her &$(e,s wor' tho%-h not w$tho%t hardsh$#* 0t$-ma rema$ns #art o( the &$(e o( the menta&&y $&&< the words 9"ra3y9 and 9n%t9 st$&& are )ery m%"h a #art o( the )erna"%&ar* :am$son,s has dea&t w$th st$-ma ($rsthand (rom those she to&d o( her $&&ness* One "o&&ea-%e a(ter hear$n- o( her man$" de#ress$on and attem#ted s%$"$de "on(essed h$s 9dee# d$sa##o$ntment9 $n her* 0he has /een to&d /y a #hys$"$an 9yo% ha)e man$" de#ress$on yo% sho%&dn,t ha)e "h$&dren*9 :am$son ta&'s a/o%t her .%a&ms and reasons /eh$nd 9"om$n- o%t9 as man$"-de#ress$)e* As a "&$n$"$an she r$s'ed the remo)a& o( #r$)$&e-es d%e to her $&&ness as a #ro(ess$ona& she r$s'ed "r$t$.%e o( her resear"h and wr$t$n-* 2et An Un.%$et M$nd has /e"ome one o( the stron-est #o$nts $n :am$son,s ad)o"a"y wor' (or those w$th man$" de#ress$on* By #ro)$d$n- a )o$"e (or so many that are o(ten m$sd$a-nosed :am$son,s &$(e "an #ro)$de a /ea"on o( %nderstand$n-* :am$son wonders $( the -enet$" %nderstand$n- o( the d$sease w$&& &ead to a more ster$&e wor&d as ear&y dete"t$on and treatment w$&& a&&ow (or (ewer s%((erers* For her /e$n- a/&e to "reate h$n-es $n #art on the (a"t that she has th$s $&&ness* In (a"t one o( :am$son,s ear&$er wor's To%"hed w$th F$re asserts a "onne"t$on /etween man$" de#ress$on and the art$st$" tem#erament* Th$s #oses an $nterest$n- .%est$on: $s man$a #art o( the "reat$)e #ro"ess "an de#ress$on &ead to e#$#hany4 :am$son ment$ons $n"reased #rod%"t$)$ty d%r$n- her hy#oman$as: &ate n$-hts o( wor' new #ro;e"ts new $deas s#$nn$n- and wh$rr$n-* B%t were these ne"essary (or her to /e s%""ess(%& to -et ten%re4 It seems "erta$n that /e$n"reat$)e was and $s a 'ey #art o( Kay :am$son* I th$n' that she wo%&d (ee& she had not &$)ed &$(e to $ts (%&& #otent$a& $( she d$d not s%((er (rom man$" de#ress$on* Is th$s a (a$r statement4 I am s%re that many readers who ha)e /een to%"hed /y the d$sease $n some way or another wo%&d d$sa-ree w$th :am$son* I am s%re than many wo%&d "on"%r w$th her statement* Kay :am$son,s memo$r o((ers %# many to#$"s (or d$s"%ss$on< th$s #a#er $s ;%st a ;%m#$n- o(( #o$nt* An Un.%$et M$nd -$)es readers many th$n-s to th$n' and %nderstand a/o%t &$)$n- w$th man$" de#ress$on< s$m$&ar to how :am$son des"r$/es one o( her man$as: 9$deas are (ast and (re.%ent &$'e shoot$n- stars and yo%

(o&&ow them %nt$& yo% ($nd /etter and /r$-hter ones*9 9It $s at the end o( the day the $nd$)$d%a& moments o( rest&essness o( /&ea'ness o( stron- #ers%as$ons and maddened enth%s$asms that $n(orm one,s &$(e "han-e the nat%re and d$re"t$on o( one,s wor' and -$)e ($na& mean$n- and "o&or to one,s &o)es and (r$endsh$#s*9 e!"er#t (rom an An Un.%$et M$nd* Note (rom La%ra -- Another -reat /&o- /orrowed (rom Tony,s #ersona& /&o-s* I( yo% ha)en,t "he"'ed o%t h$s /&o-s yo% sho%&d ta'e a moment to do so* 0e)era& o( the art$"&es and /&o-s that he #osts on h$s #ersona& #a-e he has se&e"ted or wr$tten (or the /ene($t o( th$s #a-e* I had ordered th$s /oo' myse&( o)er the wee'end /%t %n(ort%nate&y $t was so&d /e(ore I #&a"ed my order and I,m $n the #ro"ess o( o/ta$n$n- another "o#y* Th$s a%thor was a&so (eat%re on The O#rah 0how th$s &ast wee'* I( anyone has read th$s /oo' &et me 'now I,m "%r$o%s to hear what yo% tho%-ht o( $t* I,m -o$n- to /e o/ta$n$n- a "o#y o( th$s /oo' )ery soon= The /$ts and #$e"es I,)e had the o##ort%n$ty to read so (ar are so ama3$n-*