i've bee battling scizophrienia for almost 14 years now...

my first trip to a psychologist was after an LSD arrest in bloomsburg in '96 before my senior year in high school... the police rushe me to the hospital after resisting arrest an i was given a shot of valium to bring me own... i met with my octor my uncle elliot at!ins throughout the ne"t year an throughout my court case... in '9# i became etatche on an over ose of LSD again after a carlos santana concert in the poconos an was chec!e into marworth a rehab in scranton an left after a few ays... later on i visite white eer another rehab in lewisburg... an then i went on to college at suny oswego where i atten e hoc!ey tryouts an spent a semester... i left oswego to ma!e $unior % season with the central penn panthers in lancaster an later on went to cana a with the boston brea!ers... in '9& i wal!e into paoli hospital at the re'uest of my gran mother where i staye for ( wee!s before riving to the flori a !eys on my own... i calle my father from baltimore an he gave me permission to use his gas car ... after that i was fine... in '9& i trie out for the $unior % rangers in hac!ensac! an ma e the team... i spent a season with the rangers an then enrolle at the u of scranton an practice an scrimage with the team for the rest of the winter... also in '9& i was stoppe at a chec!point at the cana ien bor er an wal!e into customs with a $oint in my top poc!et i spent an hour in a cell an then was let go... in '99 i wal!e out on a psychatrist visit an hitchi!e to the phila elphia is!con temple on west allens lane... i climbe in a win ow in the mi le of the night an wo!e the ra ha ra$as an another evotee who gave me a han ful of boo!s an let me get a shower though i was not allowe to stay... later on that night i bought a 'uart of tropicana an some phila elphia soft pretzels an was arreste wal!ing on germantown ave. for terroristic threats an isturbing the peace... ic! at!ins got me out of $ail... a wee! after the arrest my parents too! me to marworth to wait for my hearing an i spent ) 1*( wee!s there before i was a'uitte ...

i march of (++1 i too! a bus to california to visit hare !rishnas who invite me to visalia... ,he bus stoppe in -rlan o so north boun travelers coul get on the ne"t bus. .fter that we change over in Savanna /eorgia. 0t went north to 1ashington D2.

0 hoppe on a bus to %altimore from there. 0 foun a cool ,ibetian %oo! Store. 0t was 3arch4 it was col . 0 bought $apa or mala bea s. ,he ne"t morning 0 got on a bus to 5ittsburg. 0 en e up traveling through the northern cooler climate states. 5ittsburg was col that morning.

,he ne"t bus stoppe in 0n ianapolis. 0t arrive at night. ,here was a low fog. ,he ne"t morning we arrive in 3issouri. ,he terrain change after leaving the /reat La!es region. 3issouri has low foothills. ,he /reat 5lains are esolate4 more so than the esert. 0t is so flat4 plus it is so far from the ocean. 0 bought the local newspaper in most of the cities we stoppe in. .s the bus went crusing through 2olora o there was an all out blizzar . 2olora o has almost the e"act terrain as 6tah4 e"cept it has its own loo!. ,he last bus for .rose left Los .ngelos as the sun was coming up. 0 notice the orange groves on both si es of the roa . .cres of rows of grapevines.

,he so calle 7are 8rishnas who pic!e me up seeme alright. .s far as 0 !new there was a temple out there in the wil . ,he roa s were all gravel. ,he roa s mean er up big foothills in the most seclu e region in the Sierra 9eva as. ,he aparant evotees turne out to be something else. ,here was no temple out there nor was there a farm li!e 0 was tol . ,here were all sorts of abon one cars something wasnt right. 0 got into an altercation over the 'uestion of me going bac! to .rose. ,he altercation turne into a fight. .lthough 0 won the fight4 0 ha to run into the wil erness to avoi being shot. 0 leape own a ban! as someone shot at me twice with a )+:)+ rifle.

%elow me was a stream. 0 en e up barefoot since 0 was wearing flip flops that were of no use to me. 0 followe the stream at first figuring it went somewhere. 0 climbe up a small foothill. .t the time 0 thought it was best to move on out of sight4an to calm own. 0 reste on the ri ge4 then line up on two mountain pea!s out in the istance. -ne to the northwest of me the other was almost right in line of where the sun was setting on the horizon. -ne of the reasons for going out there was to go climbing. 0t $ust turne into the wrong scenerio. 0 came up on all sorts of wil game wal!ing. ,he night that happene 0 saw a fo" that ran through a mea ow then stoppe . -nce he stoppe 0 !new no one else was near me. 0t was a gibbous moon so 0 ha goo enough light to hi!e or climb at night.

,he le ge that 0 slept ne"t to that night is $ust a vauge image to me now. .t the time 0 i not realize how far of a fall it was from there. 0t was no gra ual fall4 it was steep. .s the sun came up that morning the crows starte ma!ing noise. ,here was a fog rising up slow4 then when it got bright 0 realize the treeroots below me that 0 was clowning aroun on was right on the e ge of a straight rop. 0 climbe eight mountains to get to a ranch where there was someone to as! for help. 0 !now two of them were over ;+++ feet4 one must have been #+++ feet. ,he others were (+++ to )+++ feet in elevation. ,he rancher calle the police to file a report. ,he cops sai 0 was almost ;4 miles from where 0 ha been shot at. %elieve me the these cops were there. ,he troopers cuffe the man who shot at me in the mi le of the night4 put him in the bac! of the car4 then eliberate about what to o. ,he men tol me to <chill out4 we are going to resolve this.< ,here were two travelbags an a bac!pac! the police recovere for me. ,he mari$uana bu s in those boo!s were nothing to be worrie about in this case. ,he cops gave me a brea! on the pot. ,he seargent in charge instructe another cop to let the man go. ,he state police too! me bac! to the barrac!s4 gave me some coffee4 tol me to go bac! to =lori a4 then let me go.

,he bus ri e bac! went through ,ucson4 .rizona then >l 5aso4 ,e"as. ,he bus went through ,allahassee4 then bac! to 3iami... when i got bac! to flori a i trie to men fences but my parents ha the police serve me a restraining or er so off i went trying to hitchhi!e... a few ays later i trie to steal a flatbe truc! an was arreste smashing it into a par!e ca illac in front of me an was ta!en to stoc! islan $ail... the $u ge let me

out after three wee!s an re'uire an evaluation the psychiatrist ba!er acte me in his office an ha me ta!en to the gui ance clinic an a hospital in fort lau er ale i was etaine for 9 1*( months... then i (++) i was arreste an ba!er acte again... the cop sai he was ta!ing me to the gui ance clinic i sai ta!e me to $ail... i spent another ; 1*( months in stoc! islan $ail an at south flori a evaluation an treatment center until my psychologist a riana coul get me release ... i staye out of $ail an became a successful fishing mate in !ey west4 islamora a an stuart after that until i got a D60 '+&... the stuart city cops searche my car a wee! earlier with german shepar s to fin 'uote un'uote evi ence of cannibis a little bit of soot in the coin $ar an han cuffe me on the si e of the roa for ten minutes before giving me a notice to appear in court... the martin co. sheriff arreste me at gunpoint at the traffic light to turn into my apartment comple" in stuart after riving bac! from fort lau er ale an charge me with D60 fleeing an elu ing... i move to $upiter while the case was pen ing an i community service at saint patric! catholic church i pressure washe the church... atten e morning mass an helpe fi" the spea!ers in the loft... i was ba!er acte in islamora a '+9 for the last time after multiple suici e attempts over several wee!s an given a suici e i eation... i was at 63 hospital three wee!s before... ...i'm fine now living spiritual life an i li!e living on the coast an spen ing time on the water an hatha yoga