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Sleepaway camp is your child ready?

By Julie Kendrick

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44 March 2014
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When it comes to deciding whether or not a child is ready for a sleepaway camp this summer, many parents rely on the successful completion of some major life events, including getting through most nights without wetting the bed, or happily managing an overnight sleepover at a friends house.

While those are excellent indicators, there are some additional cues that a savvy parent may want to consider. We talked with parents whose kids are camp veterans, longtime counselors, and child mental health professionals to dig a little deeper into helping you decide when your little one is ready for a few days or even a whole summer away at camp. What happens after the parent drives

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away and the kids get on the bus to camp with their counselors is really different than what you might expect, says longtime Urban 4-H Camp at Bay Lake counselor Nathalie Young. The southwest Minneapolis resident, now a freshman at the Chicago College of Performing Arts, says that she is very familiar with the phenomenon of the child who clamps onto the parents leg, sobbing dont make me go! but who perks up as soon as a parents brakelights disappear in the driveway.

Drama queens and brave fronts

We try to get kids distracted, involved and making friends right away, says Young. Well start with name games, help them meet new people, and talk about how much fun well have when we arrive at camp. While the drama-queen-turnedhappy-camper is certainly a category of camper with whom most counselors are familiar, Young also notes that this type has its less well-known counterpart.

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Ive also seen kids who put on a brave and cheery face, maybe because they really wanted to go to camp right up until that moment, or because they dont want to worry a parent. Theyll be all-smiles with mom or dad, but tears start as soon parents leave. Never fear, says Young, No matter what a kid is going through, we nd ways to get them focused on fun stuff as soon as possible.

Key indicator: go with the ow

Young does agree that the dry-bed and successful-sleepover indicators are good ones for determining if youve got a camp-ready child this year, but she also points to another factor. Sleeping over at a friends house does show that a child can be away from home overnight, but, other than that, camp isnt really much like a sleepover. She says that a more important factor might be to consider whether or not your child can readily and easily participate in large-group activities, and be exible enough to adapt their desires to those of the group. We have strict rules about the campercounselor ratio, so its not possible for a child to stay alone in the arts and crafts area, for example, nishing a project, if its time for the group to go swimming. If you have a child who can do community activities and go with the ow, then theyre more likely to be ready for a positive camp experience, she says.

Mental health professionals perspective

Youngs advice is reinforced by Beth Dahline, a social worker and school-based mental health program supervisor at

RESOURCES
Urban 4-H Camp at Bay Lake Open to non 4-H members Grades 48 July 2125 and August 48 $350 z.umn.edu/summercamp Contact: Alneida Madrigal, 612-624-7603 Washburn Center for Children 612.871.1454 washburn.org Offices in Minneapolis, Minnetonka and Brooklyn Park

Washburn Center for Children in Minneapolis. Being able to participate in group activities is important, she says, and builds on that milestone with several other practical questions that parents could consider. Can they make decisions for themselves, and understand themselves enough to enroll in activities that are good ts for them? Can they know when they need to use the restroom and speak up about it? Are they able to be responsible with their belongings? Keeping track of both shoes is going to be necessary, she says with a laugh. On a more serious note, she suggests, Parents should consider whether their child will know when they are hurt or when they need to shake it off. They also should know to use their voice when its critically needed, and to ask adults for help. She notes that most parents begin exploring sleepaway camps when children are around ages eight through ten, but she urges that developmental factors are much

more important considerations than age. She also cautions parents to make sure that kids have an accurate understanding of what happens at camp. They might have an idealized view of nature, and not realize that bugs, heat and rain are also part of the whole picture, she says.

Talk to the camp director

Dahline urges parents to visit camps in advance, if possible, or at least to have a conversation with the camp director. You know your child better than anyone if theyre a picky eater, cant fall asleep easily, or wake up with the rst ray of sun. You should directly ask the camp director, How do you handle this situation? and see if youre satised with their response. Understanding the camps policies toward bullying, for example, is something that parents will want to explore in advance, especially if their child might be a target.

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The buddy system pros and cons

Some parents seek to ease their childs experience at sleepaway camp by having them attend with a friend. While that idea can be successful in alleviating pre-camp anxiety, it can also be prone to pitfalls, Dahline says. It really depends on the personality and exibility of the child. If you have a very shy kid who wants to go to sleepaway camp with a friend, you should spend some time wondering out loud with them how they might react if the friend makes a new friend at camp, or goes to sit with someone else. Its a good idea to have that conversation with both kids, and with the friends family, too. Sometimes, Dahline says, hesitant sleepaway campers may have more success attending camp with a sibling. Especially if they go to school together, the child is already familiar with the idea of the sibling doing their own thing during class time, but being available if support is needed.

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What parents say

Nicole Celichowski, a St. Paul mother of three, says that sleeping styles might be one of the biggest factors to consider. Will they get themselves to bed at a civilized time, or will they be a train wreck the next day? Still, that might be a good learning experience all around, if you think the kid can handle it, she says. Julie Brown Price, of Eden Prairie, found that easing into the sleepaway experience worked best when her daughter Hannah was younger. One camp held a one-night sleepover in the middle of the day camp session. The camp staff got the kids excited about this one special night, so it was highly anticipated, she recalls. St. Paul parent Margaret Jones believes that even a bit of homesickness can be a good life lesson, too. Both our boys went away to camp for two and four-week sessions when they were young. They were certainly lonesome at times, but they were also very proud of themselves for getting through it.

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