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Love Systems Insider: Sheriff on Same Night Lays

Love Systems Insider: Sheriff on Same Night Lays

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@petersheriff on Same Night Lays
@petersheriff on Same Night Lays

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Published by: Love Systems on Nov 24, 2009
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05/25/2011

 
Love Systems Insider
Date: May 2008
 
Sheriff on Same Night Lays
I was about to write a long article about Same Night Lays and One Night Stands this weekend – until oneof our instructors -Sheriff  - reminded me that he’d just done an extensive Q&A on the subject and shared a ton of his secrets. Rather than reinventing the wheel, Sheriff and I took the Q&A, simplified it for theLSi, and added some more explanations.[The original Q&A is inThe Lounge - which is a private online community of Love Systems instructors and some of our top students – many of whom have gone on to become instructors themselves. It’s like asmaller and more private version of  The Attraction Forums.It’s also free, but restricted to those who have taken aLove Systems bootcamp. Normally I don’t take stuff from The Lounge for the LSi becauseit’s too detailed or advanced, but this seemed like a fun topic to play with, so, enjoy!]
Q. I guess that the first logical question is: do you consciously hit certain frames in order to achieve aSame Night Lay? If so, could you please tell us which ones? And how do you target each of them?
A. The only real frame I try and consciously hit is: collusion. That is, both she and I know what's goingto happen, but we have to keep it secret from others.Mostly it's about trying to hit a blueprint - massive sexual escalation (verbal, touching, the physicalconversation) and then big releases. Quick example: pulling her in to you aggressively, faces an inchapart, looking at her lips, licking yours, and then gently pushing her away before she has a chance tomake any sort of logical objection. You build up to this, obviously, rather than doing it straight after anopening. But, you can see it as pinging; the more she lets you get away with, the further you take it nexttime. When it plateaus, go back to normal game, then start again.I can normally tell in the first 30 seconds if a girl is a good candidate for a Same Night Lay - I'll put myarm around her and drag her in for a sideways hug. If she puts her arm around me too, she might be alikely candidate. If not, I proceed normally. Of course, you have to have shown some value first. Torecap that, value is what creates attraction.Magic Bulletsexplains how to get a girl attracted to youright away by using value if you need a review, or if you want something just focused on how to createand understand social value, download Future's interview with Tenmagnet on Value. Even if you don’t  plan to pay the $40 for the full interview, you can listen for free for ten minutes.
From Sheriff, via The Lounge
Q. What are some reoccurring/proven elements that you incorporate into your set of "tactics/techniques" for Same Night Lays?
A. Lots. I use a lot of “kino pinging” and other elements to drive the physical conversation forward. I gofor a lot of physical dominance too, and there are some great routines in the Love Systems RoutinesManual Volume 1to express this verbally and physically. If she's not okay with you touching her, aSame Night Lay just isn’t going to happen.I focus on limiting factors and bottle necks. So, my foot is hard on the accelerator and I identify and take
 
care of any obstacles along the way. For example, if she is attracted but resisting being alone with you or separated from her friends – even for a few minutes – then add more to Qualification or Comfort asnecessary, and then get back on track. On that subject, I make sure to “isolate” as early and as much as possible. In most of my Same Night Lays, I’ve had the woman away from her friends within about fiveminutes. Make the night about you and her rather than about her and her friends.Logistics is the third prong of the Love SystemsTriad Model (with Emotional Progression and Physical Progression). In Same Night Lays, it is crucial. We can get into a lot of detail about this, but for the LSi,the overriding goal is to get her to somewhere where sex could reasonable happen as soon as possible.
From Sheriff, via The Lounge
Q. What would you say is the main difference between the game you’re running in a Same Night Lay vs.a One Night Stand?
A. [First, I’m going to jump in for the LSi version, because we get pretty detailed and advanced on theLounge and some of the terminology might be unfamiliar to some guys. A One Night Stand implies thatyou and the woman aren’t going to see each other again. A Same Night Lay does not exclude this possibility. –Savoy]To me, this gets back to Qualification. You can do a ton with Qualification, especially with your choiceof qualification subjects. Since Qualification comes after Attraction – after she is already into you – it isyour opportunity to “screen” her based on what you are looking for. So, if your qualification is primarilysexual in nature, you may get more one night stands, whereas if you mix in some non-sexualqualification, you may get more Same Night Lays.It’s crucial that you understand and are very comfortable with Qualification and all of the things you cando with it. If you don’t, all you’re really doing is “attract a woman and then hope.” That’s usuallyenough to get a woman, because there are a lot of men who can do that, to say nothing of the fact thatattracting a woman is also harder if your qualification game isn’t very good.The best resources for understanding Qualification if you’re stuck or not using it at an advanced level are:1) Chapter 8 of  Magic Bullets, 2) theSinn interview on Qualification,or 3) Mr. M covering Advanced Qualification at a bootcamp or Super-Conference.
From Sheriff, via The Lounge
Q. If you had to learn same-night lay game from scratch, where would you start?
A. Make sure you can convert pretty much all of your dates within a few hours. Once you can do that,all you have to do is create instant dates with women you meet when you’re out.That’s the two-sentence version anyway. We used to have a one-daytraining program onSame Night Lays,and we’ll probably bring it back at some point (email usif you’re interested). I’d also make sure you are familiar with the sexual escalation routines from theLove Systems RoutinesManual Volume 1and Volume 2.
From Sheriff, via The Lounge
 
 
Q. Why is being non-judgmental important for a Same Night Lay and how do you show that you're non- judgmental?
A. There are lots of reasons for this, mostly related to female psychology. One of the simplest reasons isthis: if she likes you, she doesn't want you to think she's easy. It also makes her feel better about herself,which allows her to enjoy the experience.How do you convey that you are non-judgmental?I like to use storytelling and embedding. Embedding is the technique by which you appear to be telling astory about one thing, but it’s actually designed to communicate something else. So, you could be tellinga woman something funny about your ex-girlfriend and drop in the back-story that you first met her randomly hooking up in a club, and that some people just seem to click when they meet. If you aretalking about your ex-girlfriend and meeting her in a positive light, what you are really saying is “if wesleep together tonight, I won’t disrespect you or treat you differently.” Since it would be awkward toactually say that explicitly, you can use embedding.There are a bunch of “non-judgmental” routines in the Love Systems Routines Manual. Some you can give fairly early on, like the Ring Finger routine, while others are used later in the game. Most of themuse embedding. The Love Systems Routines Manual is a great resource because it has hundreds of thingsthat top guys actually say and do when meeting women, word-for-word.TheLove Systems Routines Manualalso has a bonus chapter on how to create embedded stories from theground up, in a step-by-step approach. It’s kind of funny, one of the examples starts with Savoy talkingabout his mom’s cat, and then adding more elements each time until it becomes a useful routine.
From Sheriff, via The Lounge
Q. Do you let the woman know your intentions? Do you tell her you’re bringing her home for sex, or do you get her out of the bar “to get some food” or for some other reason and then take her home? Are youinnocent or sexually aggressive?
A. Don’t have a one-size-fits-all approach. One of the things I teach at bootcampsis how to test for andread different situations so you can know which approach will work better. Most guys who aresuccessful can use either approach, depending on the situation. To simplify, if she isn't responding wellto you being sexually aggressive, calm it down and see if you can get her to come for a cigarette withyou. It doesn’t matter if you don’t smoke; say something like: "I don't smoke, I just like to go where it'squiet. Come!"Leading and dominance is king here. I don't ask so much as I tell women what we're doing. A little bitof frame control and she will follow you anywhere. One of the best ways to learn frame control – other than one of my bootcamps – is theSinn and Savoy Frame Control interview from the Advanced Interview Series (the interview is about an hour long and you can download and keep it for $40, or getthe first ten minutes free online).I actually had a period when I was learning this stuff when I was super-good at frame-controlling womento coming home with me, but didn't really have much attraction, and so wasn't converting. That was a bitweird, but shows how good you can get at leading!
From Sheriff, via The Lounge

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