HYPNOTIQUE 40 Years FOR PRIVATE CIRCULATION ONLY HEARTY WELCOME TO 2014! Hypnotique Circle wishes all its members and guests a year of learning, accomplishment, wisdom, achievement and triumph! Another fresh new year is here . . . Another year to live! To banish worry, doubt, and fear, To love and laugh and give! This bright new year is given me To live each day with zest . . . To daily grow and try to be My highest and my best! I have the opportunity Once more to right some wrongs, To pray for peace, to plant a tree, And sing more joyful songs! - William Arthur Ward On behalf of the Executive Committee The New Year is not about changing the Dates but Direction Its not about changing the Calendar but Conviction Wishing you all a brilliant, dazzling, sparkling and radiant 2014! Muthiah Ramanathan President Major V V Narayanan Secretary -2- THE HYPNOTIQUE CIRCLE MADRAS 40 Years Block S-27 C, Rainbow Flats, Ponnambalam Salai, K K Nagar, Chennai 78 President Vice President Vice President MUTHIAH RAMANATHAN Dr T M PERUMAL Dr C N RAMGOPAL 93810-34310 93810-65016 94442-90841 Secretary Joint Secretary Joint Secretary Treasurer MAJOR V V NARAYANAN R.GOPALAKRISHNAN G.GANESAN U M BAFNA 91500-00615 98844-81760 98401-29523 98415-34999 TOP TEN TIPS FOR A HAPPY LIFE 1. Develop a circle of close associations who cherish working on values and goals instead of sharing problems and diffculties. Help others on a daily basis by becoming a role model for an ethical hard working individual. Work on becoming more optimistic by eliminating cynicism from your life and conversations. 2. Record your strengths and weaknesses in a diary and each day write down some positive things you will achieve for that day. 3. Progress is the key to happiness so gain more knowledge and strive to learn new skills on a weekly basis. Create a compelling future for yourself 4. Your vocabulary matters. When you speak positive, uplifting thoughts, when you compliment others, when you stop cursing and start praising, it uplifts you into a more positive human being. Write down negative phrases you say each day and reframe them into a more positive outlook on life. 5. Practice the ability to accept change, and risk what you are passionate about achieving. Start with small goals you know you can achieve. This will build your self- confdence and give you the courage to risk bigger and more joy inducing, long term thrills. -3- 6. Trust your own intuition. Believe in yourself. Associate with positive, uplifting people, think and exude positive thoughts and attitudes. Act enthusiastic and youll train your brain to be enthusiastic. 7. Be confdent and build good relationships with people. Be fortunate for who you are and where your dreams can take you. 8. Embrace the law of attraction as it responds the way your mind works; your subconscious cannot interpret negativity. Therefore when you hear yourself making comments that include dont, wont, cant, or no, you are actually giving your mind the attention to dwell on these negative emotions. You attract to your life whatever you give your attention, energy and focus to, wanted or unwanted. -4- 9. Get in the habit of writing, calling or e-mailing at least 4 notes per day, simply saying thank you, getting back in touch or offering help to someone in need. Apply your faith in what is good in the world and pass it on to someone else. 10. Educate yourself on the pitfalls we face as a society as to why young people turn to drugs to alcohol to escape painful feelings and memories. Understand that spirituality and faith, family and high self-esteem are the cornerstones for living a happy, successful life. 5 MINDSET SHIFTS YOU NEED TO MAKE TO DO THE IMPOSSIBLE By Joel Runyon Everything starts with your mindset. If your heads not in the right spot, you wont be able to execute effectively. Physical challenges are 90% mental.. They force you to physically face mental blocks head-on. They give you physical encounters with usually intangible obstacles. If you want to do something hard, diffcult, or seemingly impossible, you have to start with mindset. Here are fve mindset shifts you need to make to do the impossible: 1. Realize that Everyone Is Normal Everyone is normal. Celebrities arent special. Billionaires arent special. Athletes arent special. Stop freaking out when you see them. Everyone is a normal person. Youre normal. Richard Branson is a normal guy and so is Bill Gates. There are no special people. The people you think are special just work their tails off, repeatedly fnd and capitalize on opportunities, and get lucky. Luck is just a case of hustle + timing. No one just gets lucky. Dont make yourself feel -5- better by trying to convincing yourself Richard Branson is just special. Hes not special. He only works hard and smart. Thats all. 2. Think Bigger Way Bigger Stop thinking small. Get outside the box way outside the box. Get outside your head. Stretch your mind. Ask what you would do you if you had to make ffteen million in seven years or your mother or someone close would die. What would you do? The goal is to change your entire basis for reality the way you think about things. Instead of focusing on how to make 1 or 2K/ month, start thinking about how you could make 10, 20 or 50K/ month. It takes a different mindset to get you to that level. You have to operate on a different level to generate Rs 5000 pm than you do to generate 5 lac pm. More importantly, you have to change the way you think. Thing bigger way bigger 3. Stop Doing Stupid Work I have this as a sticky note on my desktop: Dont ever solve the same problem three times in a row. If you have the same question or problem three times in a row, systematize it. Macro-fy it. Outsource it. Stop doing stupid work. Dont waste your time, energy, or focus on stuff that doesnt need to be done by you. No more stupid work, Right ? 4. Do The Dirty Work The dirty work is where the money is. Stop focusing on what youre passionate about. Nobody cares about what youre passionate about. Get passionate about solving peoples problems. There are a ton of people who have made money doing the dirty work. Find out more about millionaire Dirty Jobs and youll fnd a crazy number of people whove made their money doing the dirty work. There are tons of jobs that nobody wants to do, and theyre willing to pay for someone else to do them. Theres your opportunity. Do the stuff that nobody else wants to do. Solve problems that people want to have solved. -6- 5. Realize that You Can Do Anything You Want To Do You can quit your job tomorrow. You can pack your bags, and get a plane ticket to anywhere in the world. You can do that now. You dont need anyones permission. You can literally do anything you want.You can do whatever you want. Wrap your mind around that. Just let that sink in. Now, go take cold shower, change your mindset, and get after it. All the BEST ! A SHORT STORY A mother and a baby camel were lazing around and suddenly the baby camel asks Baby : Mother, mother, can I ask you some questions? Mother : Sure! Why son, is there something bothering you? Baby : Why do camels have hump? Mother : Well son, we are desert animals, we need the hump to store water and we are known to survive without water. Baby : Okay, then why are our legs long and rounded? Mother : Son, obviously they are meant for walking in the desert. You know with these legs we can move around comfortably in the desert than anyone! Said the mother proudly. Baby : Okay, then why are our eye lashes long? Sometimes it is bothering my sight. Mother : My son, those long thick eye lashes are your protective cover. They help to protect your eye from desert sand and wind. Said the mother camel with eyes brimming with pride. -7- Baby : I see .So hump is to store water when we are in desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these eye lashes protect my eyes from the desert. Then what the hell are we doing here in this zoo? Moral of the story: Skills, Knowledge, Attitude are there only to be used for productive purposes and not just for general exhibition to public! 9 UNCONVENTIONAL HABITS OF EXTRAORDINARY SUCCESS As long as youre going to be thinking anyway, think BIG. - Donald Trump Ive picked-up these habits gradually over the years while working with some impressively successful people seven fgure internet entrepreneurs, best selling authors, talented CEOs, etc. Even though these arent the typical success habits youd read about in a self-improvement book, theyve been extremely effective in my life by helping me align my daily efforts with a winning mindset. Im confdent they can do the same for you. Heres what I would do if I were you : 1. Help at least one person a day The best part of life is not just surviving, but thriving with passion, compassion, humor, generosity, and kindness, and using these tools to make the world a better place. Smile, and help others smile too. If you dont have the power or strength to write someones happiness, then try to help them remove their sadness instead. And dont let the numbers overwhelm you. You cant help everyone at once. Focus on assisting one person at a time, and always start with the person closest to you. -8- If you can lie down at night knowing in your heart that you made someones day just a little brighter, you had a successful day. Read 365 Thank Yous. 2. When you feel like giving up, ask yourself, Can I give more? The honest answer is almost always, Yes. And once your mind realizes it can, it usually does. One of the unique things about the human mind is that it can do only what it thinks it can do. The minute you say, I dont have the energy or Im not capable of that, you are actually training your brain to live up to your diminished expectations. Low expectations mean low results. So watch how you speak to yourself. And when you reach that point of struggle in your mind where most people would give in and give up, do the opposite and give it another shot. 3. Respect everyone When you respect people it gives you a special kind of access to them. No, you dont automatically get the key to their hearts. What you do get is an increased understanding and rapport, and that can be priceless. If youre a business owner, respecting your prospective customers will bring you more of their business. If youre a teacher, respecting your students will add increased effectiveness to your teaching. If youre an athlete, respecting the other team will help you build an effective strategy to win the game. In all walks of life, respect opens the doors of opportunity. 4. Accept exactly where you are, wherever you are One of the great secrets to being happy and successful is accepting where you are in life and making the most of it. You -9- wont always know where you are going, but as long as you keep moving forward the journey will be rewarding. One step at a time, one foot in front of the other, time has a way of gradually showing you the way to what truly matters. Sometimes you fnd yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes in the middle of nowhere you fnd yourself. 5. Seek lots of new life experiences The people with the greatest wisdom are the ones who have been through the most. So start strong, stay strong, and fnish strong by always remembering why youre doing it in the frst place. Its all about learning and growing along the way. The most valuable lessons in life cannot be taught, they must be experienced. When you refect on your life, you will likely see some pain, mistakes, and heartache. But when you look in the mirror, you will see the strength, growth, and wisdom that made it all worthwhile. 6. Maintain a diehard belief in yourself A strong positive mental attitude will create more miracles than any wonder drug. Your individual thoughts and beliefs are similar to chapters in a book. When you put them together, you have the belief system that becomes your life story. If you are going to be successful in creating the life you dream of, you have to believe that you are capable of doing so. You have to believe that you have the resources, talents and skills necessary to create your desired results. 7. Walk your own path A good life is not living the life everyone else intended for you. Be true to yourself. Stand frmly by your core values. Your life is your spiritual path. Its whats right in front of you. -10- You cant live anyone elses life. The task is to live yours and stop trying to copy the ones you think are more acceptable. Because if you water yourself down to please everyone else, to ft in, or to not step on anyones toes, you will lose the passion, freedom and joy of being who you really are. 8. Find an opportunity in every outcome, positive or negative Sometimes things happen exactly as you had expected, and then there are other times when nothing goes as planned. In either situation, there is a way to respond triumphantly. Your victories bring happiness and feelings of self-achievement. Your defeats bring wisdom, strength, and determination. Both outcomes bring new opportunities. In this way, life moves continually forward. In each moment, you can build upon whatever has come before. Right now, you are exactly where you are supposed to be. Because right now, you are in the only time and place where you can actually make a difference. 9. Need less Instead of focusing so intently on what you want to get, consider the things you can let go of. Eliminate some excess baggage, lighten your load, and feel a weight lifted. So many of the things you think you need, you do not need at all, you simply want them. And as your wants diminish, your freedom and abundance grow. Because long-term fulfllment in life is not about getting all that you need; fulfllment is knowing the freedom to be all that you are without the excess. Its about wanting what you have at any given moment, and making the best of it. Bottom line: Ambition, intention, and disciplined effort will bring you great things in this world, but there is more to success than acquiring the commonly celebrated milestones of success that society confers. In the long run, less is often more. -11- Once there was a father who wanted to train his four sons. He wanted his sons to learn, not to judge things too quickly. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go and look at a pear tree that was a great distance away. The frst son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, and the youngest son in the fall. When they had all gone and come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen. The frst son said that the tree was ugly, bent, and twisted. The second son said it was covered with green buds and full of promise. The third son disagreed. He said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet and looked so beautiful that it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen. The last son disagreed with all of them. He said it was ripe and drooping with fruit, full of life and fulfllment. The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the trees life. He told them that one cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season. And that the essence of who they are and the pleasure, joy, and love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up. If you give up when its winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, the fulfllment of your fall. Never let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest. Moral: Never Judge Life by one diffcult season. -12- SAVOUR ALL SEASONS (by Robert Paul Gilles, Jr) To let go does not mean to stop caring, It means I cant do it for someone else. To let go is not to cut myself off, Its the realization I cant control another. To let go is not to enable, But to allow learning from natural consequences. To let go is to admit powerlessness, which means The outcome is not in my hands. To let go is not to try to change or blame another, Its to make the most of myself. To let go is not to care for, But to care about. To let go is not to fx, But to be supportive. To let go is not to judge, But to allow another to be a human being. To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, But to allow others to affect their destinies. To let go is not to be protective, Its to permit another to face reality. To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, But instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them. To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires, But to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it. -13- To let go is not to criticize or regulate anybody, But to try to become what I dream I can be. To let go is not to regret the past, But to grow and live for the future. To let go is not to deny but to accept. To let go is to fear less and love more... Remember: The time to love is short... RISING VIOLENCE, FALLING COMPASSION By Dr. T.T. SRINATH Courtesy : The Hindu Business Line Increasing harshness and negativity in our behaviour is cause for concern. In todays liberal world we regard ourselves as autonomous individuals. It is hard to envisage a time when so many people enjoyed comparable freedom. Yet the very exercise of freedom in the service of greed, aggression and fear has led to the breakdown of community, perpetuation of tyranny, injustice and inequalities, and of course, sexual misconduct. What is the origin of such contemptible behaviour? Without doubt it is the escalation of violence in the way we live our life, complete absence of compassion and the harsh use of language when we speak to each other. Typically, when we see a friend or an acquaintance after a gap of time and we notice that he/she has lost weight, we tell the individual You are probably not eating well? instead of saying You have lost weight and are looking well! Thus the very manner in which we address the individual embodies harshness and discount. -14- Marshal l Rosenberg, an exponent of Non-Vi ol ent Communication, says that much of our life is circumscribed by employing judging language and tone, operating as we do from assumptions, thus seeking to manipulate one another, and fnally demanding expected behaviour. What we do not do is state concern or intent, refect the value we feel for the other and thus communicate our compassion. When we operate from judgment we become reactive and life-reducing. But when we operate from positive intent, we demonstrate responsiveness and enrich life. We resort to life-reducing, harsh and reactive ways for some of the following reasons: Lack of appreciation of self: Much of our growing years are consumed by comparisons, hurt that we absorb through relating and anguish that we experience through rejection. Thus we slowly but surely begin to lose an appreciation of ourselves. Ironically, as children we were imbued with positivity and a can do attitude. Take the example of a child of three or four who attempts to learn to ride a bicycle, falls off now and again, but doesnt give up, because the child thinks I can. This is lost in youth as one trudges through life painfully, marginalised and discounted. We then spend large sums of money going to seminars that infuse our lost positivism. The absence of appreciation of self results in lack of respect for self, which is played out in the way we relate to others. Lack of unconditional acceptance of self: When an infant, either your own or a relatives, seeks to hug you with joy, you respond instinctively to the affection, even if the child is unclean. Yet when this infant, now grown, approaches to hug you, even though with affection but with unclean clothes, youre likely to -15- chastise him. The difference between hugging the infant and not the adult comes from our conditional acceptance of the latter. In effect, since we do not accept ourselves unconditionally, we do not accept the other and thus pass judgement easily. Celebration of poverty: Much of our life is lived in denial and through repression. We are told to learn to live with little and thus rejoice in spite of lack. We therefore do not cherish our abundance and thus expect others to also live in poverty. Children are often told by their parents who have been brought up in limited wealth that they must be judicious and careful. What they are saying is actually, I have suffered, so should you. Lack of feeling secure in self: Many of us tend to second guess ourselves, doubt our competence and thus undermine who we are. Possessing such attitude, we invariably project it on others, maintaining contact through demand and coercion. Lack of tolerance to ambiguity: The tendency to focus on what may go wrong and not on what may go right results in our transferring this anxiety onto people we deal with and, therefore, we demand predictable behaviour. As we cannot cope with uncertainty we subjugate others to our intolerance and restlessness. The resultant behaviour, owing to some or all of the above inadequacies in us, forces us to engage with harshness, violence and victimisation. Finally, understanding that our reactive, violent and non- compassionate ways of relating come from lack of self-acceptance, perpetuation of self-hatred and denial of our abundance will help us transcend our self-imposed limitations. -16- 2.29 pm : Welcome Address 2.35 pm : Self In(tro)duction by Members and Guests 2.45 pm : Goal Setting- Mr K Aravamootham, Life Coach, NLP Trainer & Past President of our Circle 4.15 pm : Tea 4.40 pm : Happily Achieving Goals - Mr K Adhivarahan, Psychologist and Facilitator for facing challenges 5.15 pm : Grand Vision - Mr V Karthik Transactional Analyst & President, NLP and TA Circle 5.45 pm : Mass Relaxation PS: As the sessions will be experiential, please carry your writing material Hypnotique Circle (Madras) Heartily invites all its Members and Guests for the Monthly Meeting on Sunday, the 12th January 2014 at Hotel Palmgrove, Kodambakkam High Road, Chennai-34 * Free for Members * Guest Investment Rs 150/- B o o k - P o s t If undelivered, please return to : Mr. J.UMEDMAL BAFNA, Old # 2, New # 3, Akbar Sahib St, Triplicane, Chennai - 600005. 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