DESCRIPTIVE WRITNG EXAMPLE

My first experience with a carnival ride was a Ferris wheel at a local fair. Looking at that Ferris
wheel, I was dumbstruck. It was big and intimidating. Ever since that first impression a long
time ago, these rides have reminded me of something to be afraid of. Even the engines sound
scary.

Rewrite with a sensory details, figurative language, and vivid action verbs

My first experience with a carnival ride was a Ferris wheel at a local fair. Looking at 
that looming monstrosity spinning the life out of its sardine­caged occupants, I 
was dumbstruck. It was huge, smoky, noisy and not a little intimidating. Ever since that 
initial impression became fossilized in my imagination many years ago, these rides 
have reminded me of mythical beasts, amazing dinosaurs carrying off their 
screaming passengers. Even the droning sound of their engines brings to mind the 
great roar of a fire­breathing dragon with smoke spewing from its exhaust­pipe 
nostrils.     
 Goal: Descriptive writing vividly portrays a person, place, or thing in
such a way that the reader can visualize the topic and enter
into the writer’s experience.
Characteristics: The general characteristics of descriptive writing include:

• elaborate use of sensory language

• rich, vivid, and lively detail
• figurative language such as simile, hyperbole, metaphor, symbolism and
personification

• showing, rather than telling through the use of active verbs and precise
modifiers

Uses: Descriptive writing appears almost everywhere and is often

included in other genre, such as in a descriptive introduction of
a character in a narrative.