Springtimes {S+EI} Conversations

Hey BraveHearts, Urban-Knights & SEQ Nation: Great-Day-to-You! Todays commentary is being steered from the
expressions of Dr. Guy Winch...http://www.guywinch.com
...But ask an adult what to do to ease the sharp pain of rejection, the devastating ache of loneliness, or the bitter
disappointment of failure and the person would know little about how to treat these common psychological injuries.
...Most of us pay close attention to our health and we treat threats to our physical wellbeing as soon as they occur. We dress warmly when we feel a cold coming on, we apply
antibacterial ointments and bandages to cuts and scrapes, and we dont pick at scabs as
they heal. We sustain psychological injuries in life just as often as we do physical ones,
but we are much less proactive about protecting our psychological well-being, than we
are our physical well-being. Adopting the following seven habits and treating common
psychological injuries when they occur will help protect your mental health and improve
your emotional resilience.
Just when I settled-into the notion that I was still somewhat lacking a genuine, firsthand understanding of the context in aiding my {quiet} leadership vulnerabilities and
challenges; inside the office I discover Dr. Guy.
Just a few weeks ago, I engaged in a conversation with my GurlFriend {also my publishing-partner and chiefeditor}...which propelled me into a whirlwind-of-thoughts. Over our {consecutive} 6 hour dialog; we spoke of many
{many} elements of Life, but mainly about our blueprints for business modeling and strategies for success. We also
exchanged wisdom surrounding the core-components of our womanly-existence and the balancing-act of our
emotional-hygiene. We hashed out and considered all sorts of protective regimens; aiming to ensure our progressive
{intellectual} insurance as we blaze-forward in our roles of Lady-leadership. Because surely none of it {and I mean;
NONE}; is possible without the well-being of our Emotionality.
...And in my-opinion, {urban} community-leaders, solo-preneurs, social-innovators and entrepreneurs alike especially
those inside their novice cycles are subjected to the worse kind of common-emotional-injuries. Despite all the
information @-our-fingertips, we lack sturdy support. We are hardly ever within the company of those that genuinely
understand our {solo-leadership} dilemmas, sacrifices, hardships and massive workloads. Also true; not many
understand our fears of leading our Peeps in the wrong direction, our hesitance in-honor of learning more, and our
various failures-to-launch. ...Our hopeless attraction to tread gnarly {intellectual} waters and quests into unchartered
territories, in-search of awesome opportunities and collaborations...is our modus operandi...lol. ...But yet, so many of us

ME

WE
Mentoring-Coach of Social+Emotional Intelligence {S+EI}
Coach TMarie Wiggins; Executive Producer
Vineyard.Coaches@aol.com | http://TMWCBookClub.blogspot.com

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set-out for our greatest professional quests {ever} without encouraging-acquaintance and with very little emotional-firstaid.
I am even discovering that my many of my emotional wounds adjacent to past failures and mishaps are still tender.
Because of these said tender-spots and my {super} slow healing process; I am hopelessly attracted to the elements of
Social+Emotional Intelligence {aka SEQ, Soft-Skills}; venturing into dark places and overturning massive boulders,
searching for answers. ...And as I evolve into a Maven of Soft-Skills, Ive indulged in countless conversations to also
discover that many Leaders of GreaterDC hesitate to care for their emotional bumps-&-bruises. Its almost as if we feel
doing such will blemish our leadership-shield and gladiators grace.
Also inside my POV the leadership Champions of GreaterDC are just six-degrees separated from the pool-of-support
needed to aid in the balancing of our most precious asset our emotional hygiene. ...According to Daniel Goleman
{one of the Godfathers of Emotional Intelligence}; IQ and technical-skills are important, but emotional intelligence is the sinequa-non of leadership. With that said, I invite you to explore a premium opportunity for the sake of our {leadership}
emotional-first-aid. ...And because I feel the best thing since sliced-bread are the talks-by-TED; I figured Id offer up
my most-favorites to serve as the topical layer of emotional-antibacterial-ointment...to immediately aid those tenderspots that keep many of us from awesomely AND PRO-emotionally; blazing trails.
It might even be soothing to review them in this particular order:
1) Simon Sinek Start With Why
2) Dr. Guy Winch Why We All Need to Practice Emotional First Aid
3) Dr. Brene Brown The Power of Vulnerability
4) Dr. Brene Brown Listening to Shame
5) Kare Anderson Be An Opportunity Maker
6) Elizabeth Gilbert Success, Failure and the Drive to Keep Creating
7) Elizabeth Gilbert Your Elusive Creative Genius
Now, back to my notion that the {SEQ} Champions of GreaterDC are separated by six-degrees.

ME

WE
Mentoring-Coach of Social+Emotional Intelligence {S+EI}
Coach TMarie Wiggins; Executive Producer
Vineyard.Coaches@aol.com | http://TMWCBookClub.blogspot.com

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TMWCs Executive-Play-Dates|Sundays~ 6/14, 7/12, 8/16; 1:00-3:30pm {@ Pinstripes in Georgetown}. Well be
hosting this years SEQ Sportsmanship Series at Pinstripes because it is {really} an awesome place-to-play! Updates will
be posted via http://tmwcbookclub.blogspot.com. Also on the TMWC blog will be the link to register. All those
within executive/leadership roles are strongly encouraged to come out and play! Lunch will be served. ...And we are
expecting all of our soft-skilld professionals to show-up, play, collaborate and share their sentiments of SEQ practices.
Because surely, if we are only six-degrees separated gathering to play will-do-good to plug this cavity. The prearranged
notion being: we protect and esteem those that we play with.
Lastly, if you are interested in discovering more with regards to SEQ and the Art-of-Play; youd do-good by checking
out the references below, as well as Dr. Guys Emotional First Aid and Dr. Jeanne Segals The Language of Emotional
Intelligence.
The Case For Hiring Emotionally Intelligent People {Harvey Deutschendorf}
http://www.business2community.com/human-resources/case-hiring-emotionally-intelligent-people-01177284
The Value of Play {part 1}: The Definition of Play Provides Clues to Its Purposes
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/200811/the-value-play-i-the-definition-play-gives-insights
The Value of Play {part 2}: How Play Promotes Reasoning in Children and Adults
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/200812/the-value-play-ii-how-play-promotes-reasoning
The Benefits of Play for Adults
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/benefits-of-play-for-adults.htm
Laughter is the Best Medicine
http://www.helpguide.org/articles/emotional-health/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.htm
Play Science: The Patterns of Play {The National Institute for Play}
http://www.nifplay.org/science/pattern-play/
It is my hope that more of us {seriously} begin to invest in our emotionality. Executive play-time is imperative;
especially for our Newbie-executives. In-closing, I had a conversation with one of my old officebuddies. It was rather interesting how the conversation began. He immediately told me he was
holding off contacting me because he was attempting to exercise the points we had been

ME

WE
Mentoring-Coach of Social+Emotional Intelligence {S+EI}
Coach TMarie Wiggins; Executive Producer
Vineyard.Coaches@aol.com | http://TMWCBookClub.blogspot.com

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previously discussing over the last 90days seeing if he could reframe from leaning-in. He desired to ponder this
particular circumstance alone. But being the Type I am; when someone pops into my thoughts, I reach out. So we
ended up dialoguing anyway...lol. ...And even though we are not officially in a mentor-coaching relationship, our
conversations inevitably provoke one of us inside the role of Coach. Weve been friends since 2006; and met through
work so when he began to unload, I knew of the individuals he spoke-of. I also knew all-too-well of the Type(s) of
people and the organizational-culture that lead up to his present-state-of-dilemma.
Those that have been hired/promoted into executive-status and those that heart(fully) lead are two TOTALLY
different elements. The lack of SEQ within the realms of our workplace is ripping the moral straight from the Hearts
of our staffers. Ultimately draining our organizations of its synergy and innovative-sparkle. O how it hurts my Heart
to hear much has not changed since I left...and how often the crap is still falling from the top! ...And almost always; it
surrounds the sheer rudeness and discontent for support-staffers.
So heres my question...EXECUTIVES...do we not-care-about-our-People? ...The very Robust that strive to meet-themark, secure-the-bottom-line, and ultimately move-the-mission-forward. Do we not care about the synergy levels of our
organization?? And if the collective answer is...No....WHY??? But if the
answer is...Yes...then I strongly suggest we get-to-it! ...That we generously
invest in rekindling our lost Art-of-Play. We are losing handsomely by
overlooking the small-gestures of manners and common-courtesy among
those that show-up and get-it-done. But surely, it doesnt have to be this
way.
I leave you with the invitation to ponder your organizational-play-time.
...Consider your Executive/Leadership/Organizational role and the
effects/levels {or lack thereof} of its emotional-hygiene. Oh, and please {please} think-twice before shaving the budgets
for the events and encounters that provoke unity and laughter among our staffers.
...Until next time...Be-Blessed & Be-Brilliant; Emotionally! Coach TMarie