Note from Project Coordinator: WELCOME

Welcome to the first issue of ISM(Independent Stu-

dents Magazine), which is your voice in
campus. We tried our best to make this issue
exciting for our students, but still there will be gaps
Contents
which we always wish to overcome in the next issue Students’ Union News......................................... 4
by your (readers) criticism. So we welcome every-
one to contribute their constructive feedback and to Dear Diary
get involved with ISM. Finally it would not be Clubs and Society Bulletins..........................6
possible to publish this issue without the contribu- Fashion
tions of Editor, Sub-editor, Designers & MetSU It All Went Down at London
officers. - Sharif Hyder, Communications Officer Fashion Week....................................8
The 1940s Are Back for Autumn...................9
Note from SU President Feature
Lies, Damn Lies and Landlords
I welcome all students on behalf of the Students’ The Trials and Tribulations of Renting..............10
Union and all the officers, who would like to invite Around Town
everyone to join MetSU to get involved with MetSU The Smokiest Bits of the Big Smoke.............12
activities. In addition to this magazine and other
forms of media, the MetSU also runs a number of Your Body
campaigns, schemes, clubs, and societies where To: The Student Body,
thousands of opportunities are available for our
From: STDs & STIs.................................14
students. So don’t hesitate to contact us. And finally, The Scene
thanks to the media team who worked really hard to Film, DVD, Book, Gig,
complete this magazine. - Abu Shohid, President & Exhibition Reviews..............................16
Art Review
A Note From the Editor Has Everyone Gone Barmy for Barney?.....20
Student Poll......................................................21
Hello and welcome to this year’s first issue of the Independent
Student Metro!
Horoscopes.......................................................22
It has been all change for the ISM this year, with a new com- Editor Aimee Robinson.
munications officer, editorial team and brand new features.
Sub-Editor - Larissa Bulla
We really wanted to give you, our reader, an informative yet
amusing read with new regular features such as our student Designer - Leslie Sanchez
horoscopes and student opinion polls. Photography - Paul Glickman, Selina Haria
This issue aims to welcome our new fresh students and wel- Fashion Editor: Catrin Hughes
come back our continuing students to university life. I know I Astrologer: Alex Hunter
have certainly missed the social life university provides, this
summer and could not wait to get back, as a result, in this issue
Feature Writers
you will be able to read about what is going on in and around
the university in the next coming months, plus information on Steve Gray, Catrin Hughes, Alex Hunter,
the up and coming societies and their aims for this semester. We Loukia Constantinou, Elsa Tierney
have also decided to sprinkle a little glamour in to each issue
and now have a regular fashion feature. We are lucky enough to The Scene Contributors
have a volunteer who was at the London Fashion Week and who Jez Cynic, Emma Williamson, Holly Raff,
provided some beautiful pictures for all to see!
Jaqueline Kiwan, Catrin Hughes, Alex Hunter
Enjoy the issue! Leanne Adams, Sarah Kingham
Contact: Students’ Union
Aimée Robinson on 020 7320 2233 or
Editor
email media.su@londonmet.ac.uk
3rd Floor, Joy Gardner House
2 Goulston Street, London, E1 7TP
Special thanks to Monty Sultan, Nizam, Nazmul, Oncampus and First 3
Impressions
 STUDENTs’
WELCOME
UNION
CAMPAIGN LAUNCH!
The Students’ Union launched its campaigns on 10th October 2007. This year the Student
Union aims to run four major campaigns: Students Union (SU) 4U; 24/7 library; Miscon-
duct Awareness Drive (MAD); and Sexual Health and Guidance (SHAG). Each campaign
has its own convenor that acts as the prime contact for any queries regarding the campaign
strategy.

The NUS (National Union of Students, UK) president Gemma Tumelty was the special
guest at the event. She advised students to get involved with SU campaigns in order to en-
sure that their voice is heard. London Met Students Union President Abu Shohid also en-
couraged students to participate and support SU campaigns.

Nearly 200 students visited the event, expressing their interest in the 24 hours library as
well as other campaigns. Students’ Union Active Volunteer - Elisa, requested students to
contribute their ideas and time. I feel confident that the success and enthusiasm displayed at
the event represents the deep support of London Met students for their SU campaigns.

Kafil Uddin Ahmed

Vice President (North Campus)

The new e-Mentoring scheme is a new approach to

providing mentoring support using electronic-based
mail technology. This approach is an alternative to
the traditional face-to-face mentoring process. The
scheme will include instant messaging, chat rooms,
bulletin boards and blogging which are facilitated
within a protected software environment. Mentors
and Mentees are the two essential components of the
scheme. Students’ Union believes there are many
fields where students just can’t find sufficient sugges-
tions or guidelines. The e-Mentoring scheme aims to
help overcome this problem by connecting students
who can share information and advice. If you want to
share your knowledge or newly discovered tips, why
not become a mentor? Have a question that needs
student advise? Become a mentee! Please email us at
mentoring.su@londonmet.ac.uk

4

Many of you may have seen our logo floating around
on T Shirts and various events in the Rocket during
fresher’s fair.
And it is true! Your university’s students union is
going to be launching London’s biggest student run
radio station.
Because of the vast diversity of both North and City
campuses, we will be commencing a large survey to
determine what YOU the students want from your
radio station.
We will be sending the surveys out very soon, so
keep your eyes peeled for our logo. If you feel you
have skills and experience to offer at MetSU Radio,
get in touch with our communications officer by
sending an email to: media.su@londonmet.ac.uk
24/7 LIBRARY
London Met is one of the largest and most
diverse multicultural universities in the UK. A large
number of students are international or come from
outside London, still more stay either with relatives
or share a room. For such students, university librar-
ies are the only quiet and safe place to study.
But alas!! Our libraries are not open 24-
hours! This have proved inconvenient for most stu-
dents. The library is not only a necessity for foreign
students, but a study tool for us all.
A library with 24/7 access is extremely essential for
post-graduate students because their level of study
demand hours of supplemental research. The library
is often the only place where coursework can be ac-
complished.
Other London universities with similar fees
do have more student-oriented library hours. East
London has a 24-hour library and long weekend
openings. Queen Mary University’s library is open
till 12pm and also provides extended weekend hours.
If London Met student are paying similar fees,
shouldn’t we logically expect similar equivalent
STUDENTs’
UNION
MYSTERY VISIT
Students’ Union is launching a new scheme that
aims to help develop different departmental services.
The scheme uses students to act as “Mystery Visi-
tors,” who recommend solutions to their desired de-
partments within certain areas. Independent student
teams will each visit different departments. Vice
Presidents are the prime contact for the scheme. If
you want to be a mystery visitor please email us at
mysteryvisit.su@londonmet.ac.uk
services?
I believe our university management is also a
concern for students’ study needs. Why else are the
libraries open longer during exam and assessment
periods? But this is insufficient; exam/assessment
periods are not the only necessary study times. Good
students consistently need to study hard throughout
the year in order to earn that coveted high result.
Plus, a 24-hour library improves the university’s
reputation.
The Student Union (SU) is the representative
body of the students and all its officers are London
Met students. So SU understands students’ needs for
improved rights and facilities. This year, SU is run-
ning a campaign to keep our library open 24-hours.
This campaign can’t be run without your support! As
an officer of SU, I ask you to raise your voice. Your
participation could determine the success of this
campaign. For more information, please email su@
londonmet.ac.uk.
Shahriar Sami
Campaign Coordinator
5
 Dear
Diary
CHRISTIAN UNION
The Christian Union is a student led team
on a mission to share the gospel with others.
We have meetings every week where we
have discussions, bible studies, prayer,
worship, and socialise.
We also organize and attend evangelistic
and social events during the year.
If you would like to know more about the
Christian Union or would like to get
involved contact:
londonmetropolitanuniversitychristianun-
ion@hotmail.co.uk
6
BANGLADESH STUDENT SOCIETY
Bangladesh Student Society (BSS) represents the
culture, bondage and social
values of Bangladesh. It is one of the biggest student
societies at London Metropolitan University. The
success of this society was not accomplished in one
day. The
determination and the hard work of our
previous and current officers as well as
society members themselves have
influenced the group to reach shared goals.
BSS annually prepares a plan for the upcoming
year’s cultural activities and social events. The first
event this year was the ‘Ifter’ party, which took
place at Enrico Cafe at London Met’s North Campus
on October 10th. At the gathering, nearly 150 stu-
dents broke their ‘Fast’ together and once again the
brotherhood among our students was re-established.
The party menu included chicken Birany, vegetable
Birany, fruits and drinks. This is just the start for
BSS. Currently the society officers are organizing a
Bangladesh Day for mid-December 2007 as well as
an outing during next summer vacation.
Ahamad Tanvirul Alam Chowdhury
Email: bss_londonmet@yahoo.co.uk
 Dear
Diary
DRAMA PERFORMING SOCIETY

Are you looking for a new and fun activity to do besides studying?

Do you want to do some acting, dancing, singing?

Do you just want to be on stage or produce shows?
Or do you simply want to do something fun while meeting people and
making new friends?

Then join us. We do all of it!

In the past two years we were awarded as the ‘most
active society’ at London Met and we fully intend to
keep up the beat.

Our current programme looks like this:

MONDAYS 18:00-19:30
Street Dance Beginners with Tracy
BEL310
£1/class or £8/semester

TUESDAYS 18:30-20:30
Workshops Pro with Steve Tiller
BELB17
£3/workshop or £20/semester

WEDNESDAYS 18:30-20:30
Salsa with Ria, Debbie, Nav and Cyril
Upstairs Bar, Rocket
£2/1h or £3/2h or £15/semester

THURSDAYS 18:00-20:00
Choir with Jacek Scarso and Nav
BELB17
FREE!

FRIDAYS 17:30-19:30
Street Dance Improvers and Intermediate
with Kayla

BEL310 £2/1h or £3/2h or £15/semester

But we don’t only do classes. We have monthly Pub Crawls on the first Friday of every month (next one 2nd
of Nov). We start at the Rocket at 6PM and then proceed up along Upper Street for a long night of fun.

And there’ll be our signature show Curtain Call on the 7th of December, 2 shows mid semester B, and
another Curtain Call towards the end of semester B. Don’t miss out!

For questions check out our DPS group on Facebook or email drama.londonmet@hotmail.co.uk.

7
 Fashion IT ALL WENT ON
at London Fashion Week
J ust as we we’re about to begin a new year of uni-
versity, the world’s most glamorous and fashion
forward, descended on the Capitol for London Fash-
ion Week.(LFW) And what a week!
British design shone as the LFW
veterans; Paul Smith, Betty Jackson, Nicole Farhi,
Jasper Conran and Margaret Howell, debut their
Spring/Summer 08 Collections.
TopShop kicked off the celebrations with
TopShop Unique; displaying the first show ever
show for affordable couture; with the main themes
being Ibiza tones with floatey peasant styles. Peaches
and Pixie Geldof were two of the many celebs who
graced the coveted front row. Pixie Geldof stated,
‘it’s not that cheap any more… still its makes really
original things… I think it’s really good.’
Matthew
Williamson re-
turned from New
York after two
years away. And
boy did he return
in style, with
Prince perform-
ing live!
However, this
did not over
shadow his
colourful hippy
style tones. His
girls swept down
the runway in
shrunken print
dresses, nomad
inspired styles
and shrug on
Bernard Chandran
blazers. 1930’s slimline
Kate Moss caused a fluster, as she turned a
clothing crisis in to a style statement at the Golden
Age of Couture Party at the V&A. She arrived at
LFW’s chicest event in a gold vintage gown. How-
ever, the fragile silk could not hack Kate’s partying
and began to rip. Instead of fleeing out of the near-
est side exit, she tied the hem of the dress up in a
bow and voila she had a chic, albeit dishevelled
mini dress.
It’s not just the champagne and parties that
draws the worlds most glamorous to LFW – it’s
8
the new original young designers. One who made
a splash at the Vauxhall Fashion Scout shows was
Malaysian Designer, Bernard Chandran, who made
his London debut; Bernard is one of the new wave
of Asian designers, braking into the London
fashion scene. His collection reflects the clean
lines of 1930’s art deco architecture. When asked
about his collection, he said, ‘I wanted to combine
that [1930’s architecture] with the sensuality of the
absolutely chic 1970’s woman – Catharine Deneuve
adrift in the glamour of decadent 30’s Shanghai.’
London fashion week drew to a close with
Naomi Campbell’s Flood Relief fashion show,
which had a last minute surprise – in the form of
Princess Beatrice and her mother the Duchess of
York making their first catwalk appearance. The
mother and daughter duo wore black Dolce &
Gabbana dresses and an estimated £8 million
worth of jewellery.
So, what are the trends for Spring/Summer
08? For casual ware expect a sporty vibe, influ-
enced by Stella McCartney’s collaboration with
Addidas, and loose fitting khaki’s will replace
jeans as the new essential. Neat shirts will take
over from frilly blouses; slim line dresses paired
with a caped
jacket or a long
tux jacket over
skinny pants will
make you stand
out from the
crowd.
Dominating the
catwalk was
frilly-prom-
inspired and
dresses, a la
Keria Knightly
in Atonement.
And you will not
be stuck for col-
ours this season
as molten gold,
Bernard Chandran cream, cobalt,
dark green, butterscotch and of course black and
white is the key to being stylish for Spring/Summer
08. - CATRIN HUGHES
 THE 1940s ARE Fashion
BACK FOR AUTUMN
N ow you know what’s hot for Spring /Summer
08, lets look at what’s new for this autumn.
This year’s season is all about the clinched waist;
to your boyfriend’s shits and tees. Any belt will do
as its all about structure; to make a statement use
French Collections gold sequined Queen Belt £25.
creating an hourglass look, which pays homage to Leather has also made it’s come back, for
the forties, echoing Hollywood’s golden age. It is those of you who may remember fashion’s leather
also the season of the come back kid with several fetish in the 90’s it’s time for you to rummage in that
styles making a return to the catwalk and high street. wardrobe and bring those leather outfits back. The
Say goodbye to your mini for the midi is leather biker jacket is also back – with a
back. Yes, the sophisticated vengeance. As students most of us cannot afford a
below the knee look has leather pair of pants or a leather dress, but we may
made a return after being be able to make do with the accessories, try
away from the catwalks for Mango’s leather twist belt £28. The great thing
some time. Use the midi to about leather is you can always justify a purchase by
offset layers and team with calling it an ‘investment;’ - it’s a shame you cannot
mid or high heels – not list, say, a leather dress under assets. Now, you all
flats. Get the look at New know what to ware for this season. I want to you all
Look, with Giles Deacon looking chic and stylish on campus this
Gold 2 blue metallic skirt smester!
£22. - CATRIN HUGHES

Military style has found its
way on to the catwalks and
on to the high street, Top-
Shop are ‘loving military’
at the moment. To get this
look grab and embellished
sergeant pepper style blazer
jacket or layer up with
khaki tones.
Outsized knits are in for
another season as is the
sweater dress. H&M is
the place to go for large
chunky knits dresses and
long cardigans. Why not
pair up a sweater dress with
a long big knit scarf or with
Bernard Chandran Mango’s black chunky knit
hat £16.
It rarely happens, but this season’s colours
can be summed up in one – purple! From violet
to lavender, from subtle to vibrant: purple reigns
supreme. Associated with royalty purple will be the
perfect colour to make you feel like a princess - or
queen. Head down to Faith to snap up some dainty
little purple pumps £22.
If you want to bring you current wardrobe up
to date all you need to do is belt it. Do it with eve-
rything from your sweater dresses or winter coats, Bernard Chandran

9
 Feature

Lies, Damn Lies, and Landlords

Or how to drive yourself mad searching for the ‘right place’

T his is the life. Sipping tea, Super Furry

Animals blasting through the stereo
while lying on a comfortable couch, with
toasty surroundings, well-made furniture,
and the local a couple of minutes down the
road, should the need for a drink suddenly
overcome me. Only problem is, it’s too good.
It may seem an ideal life, but it’s not the life
which I want to be living at this point. It
may have all the perks, but it’s not student
life. Sure, I get to go out on the town, have
a drink or seven here and there, enjoy all the
nightlife the city has to offer, but when it
comes to the end of the evening, I’m stuck
all alone on a train, with various hardcore
commuters giving psychedelic hellos to the
unlucky soul next to them, for an hour into
coastal Essex, with another lingering and
dimly lit hour walk home in pitch black to
look forward to, lest I fritter more of my loan
away on night time daylight robbing taxis.
my poor nephew), things have fallen apart.
Personally, I blame the landlords. I don’t like
that term in itself, it makes them sound bet-
ter than they really are, ‘the people who own
the place you happen to want to reside in
but actually hate your living guts’. They’ve
been the bane of my travails in getting a
home, one suddenly upping the rent by £30
a week, mentioning it as an afterthought just
before we were about to sign a contract, and
another deciding he didn’t like students and
calling the deal off at the 11th hour, on each
occasion not a slice of remorse or a speck
of humility surrounding them. They remind
me of those cartoon devils people sell their
soul to for whimsical objects, only this time
we managed to get out just in time to avoid
waking up in a cold bath with a couple of
scars on our back and the realisation that our
urinary tract may be a tad MIA.

I’m desperate to
get out of Col-
chester; I’ve been
trying so hard
over the summer
to actually get my
London living ar-
rangements sorted.
In fact, I’ve had
them properly
sorted, or so I
thought, 3 times
over since July,
but like one of
my Nan’s knitted
creations (I pity

10
Even when not dealing directly with land-
lords, pitfalls are hurled at you like frisbees Feature
laden with poison. And that’s just not cricket.
There’s Loot and Gumtree, where the quan-
tity of listings is endless, but the quality
and authenticity of around 90% of them are I really need to feel my independence away
notable by their absence. In one case I at- from home, even if I lose all the comforts
tempted to view a room advertised as being and known security, but it’s doing my head
a ‘couple of minutes’ away from Turnpike in trawling through what’s legit and what’s a
Lane tube station, which would have been cock and bull story. This is doing my head in.
fine and dandy. However, for some reason, Time for that drink I think. - Steve Gray
they seemed to qualify
‘a couple of minutes’
as 15 minutes by bus
and actually being in
Edmunton. Either they
have the combined in-
telligence as a chimp
on a unicycle (if true,
maybe a tad harsh
on the chimp), or it’s
another manipulation
of the truth to desper-
ately find that extra
rent.

The search has gone

on and on as a single
housemate looking for
a room for a month
now, two close calls,
dozens of agents
disguising themselves
as students in ads
and scores of lies and
drivel on every page I
scour. It’s taken its toll
so much I’m starting
to see things with a
slightly beige tinge
and green borders. I
sometimes swear I can
see a little tree in the
corner of my vision
too…

Photograph by Paul Glickman 11

 around
town THE SMOKIEST BITS
OF THE BIG SMOKE
M y research for this article has conveniently
consisted of a month’s bar hopping and party
going in London, exploring the smokiest parts of the
nightlife. Its been more fun than I can remember.
At first, I didn’t even know this would be my topic
for the “Welcome to New Students” edition of ISM,
but amazingly the guilt of partying more than I have
studied thus far has mysteriously fizzled away. It
may be reassuring to know that like many of you,
this is my first time living in London, which (I have
decided) puts me in an excellent position to talk
about where’s hot and where’s not. Since I’ve expe-
rienced all these places without any prior knowledge,
my judgment is based on a neutral perspective.
We’re one month into uni and I guess we’re
all starting to get settled by now. But however inde-
pendent we may be, there is nothing more daunting
than moving away from home, knowing nobody and
having to make new friends. Of course we are here
to study, but there is no doubt that a vibrant social
life will ease the pain of settling as well as help you
make friends for your time here and after. Where
better to start then than the London Met SU? The
Rocket Complex (North Campus) and Hub (City go and there is something on offer to suit everyone’s
Campus) are the 2 bars that form part of our SU and tastes. Whether you’re at North or City Campus,
both host various nights out and parties. If you are both are in central locations, meaning easy access to
looking for the typical student experience then “Big things going on all around campus as well as regular
Fish,” hosted by the Rocket Complex every Wednes- bus services to everywhere else in London.
day is definitely for you. As its tagline says, it is one Holloway Road itself has many bars and pubs for
of the biggest student nights in London and the mu- those who prefer to stay local, go for a drink after
sic ranges from sexy urban beats to classic pop party or, dare I say, in between lectures. But for those who
anthems. Hub at City campus is a modern bar where want to get away from halls and lecture theatres
you can go for events such as regular quiz nights or there is much more on offer.
just to chill out and have a drink. Angel is a 10 min bus ride or 20 min walk
Speaking of which: the best bit about both joints? away (from North Campus) and offers an array of
Cheap Alcohol! Need I say more? Events such as restaurants, theatres, bars, pubs and nightspots -
these will allow you to meet fellow students, people there is literally something for everyone regardless
from different walks of life and ease you into your of your age and background. You will always find
going out career whilst making new friends…and something to do around here. The Almeida and
hopefully an entourage! Saddler’s Wells are nearby for theatre lovers and
As a student of North Campus I have been there are innumerable restaurants bringing flavours
exploring everything within a ten-mile radius of from accross the world right to your doorstep. Lively
Holloway Road. There is enough around here to fill bars and pubs line Upper Street, the only difficult
your time at uni, and you’d still have more to thing is choosing where to go.
discover if you decide to stay on and do a postgrad… For the clubber in you there are various
or post-postgrad. Seriously, even in this small gigs you can go to, depending on your music tastes.
corner of London there is a vast choice of places to Thursday Night Flava at Club K.O in Woodgreen is
12
 around
town
ideal for a sexy urban night out. They usually play
hip hop, r’n’b’, soca rythms, bassline and garage. At
just £5 entry all night and just a 15 min bus ride on
the No. 29 (which is a 24 hour service!), this cer-
tainly beats the prices of the West End. exams (don’t tell anyone I told you that!) but you
That’s not to say that the West End should can’t put a price on memories. There is too much fun
be avoided. For those who prefer the bright lights to be had - so get your gladrags on and party.
and glam factor of the West End, head to Leicester - Loukia Constantinou
Square, Mayfair, or Soho where there is no short-
age of clubs, bars and the paparazzi. Elephant and
Castle, in southeast London, hosts The Ministry of
Sound. With parties every Friday night it is a
clubber’s paradise. Camden is also around the corner
Loukia’s Personal
for indie kids, electro fans and the live music lovers. Favourites:
Clubs such as KOKO, a favourite of NME, is always (depending on what I’m in the mood for)
hosting live music acts, bands and DJs. Hoxton and
Shoreditch are also nearby (especially to City
Cargo - Shoreditch
Campus) and wherever you choose to party or
chill-out there, you will definitely meet some of the
Electricity Showrooms - Hoxton
most interesting people the city holds.
London is absolutely the place to be. I know
KO - Woodgreen
it sounds like a massive ball of cliché crap but there
is no better place to go to uni (in the UK, I mean,
KOKO and Barfly - Camden
Hawaii has a uni but lets get real). Like I said before:
we are here to study. But it would be wrong of us not
Fabric - Chaterhouse Street EC1
to take advantage of the nightlife on offer
in London. Besides, you can always re-sit your
The End - neat Tottenham Court
Road

13
 yOUR
BODY
To: the Student Body, From: STDs and STIs
Y ou’ve started University, you are hammering
the drink, the pubs and clubs and there is more
eye candy than one person can handle. You used to
think there was just one special someone for every-
one but now you are faced with the fabulous pros-
pect that there is a lot more than one special person.
There are possibly thousands or hundreds of thou-
sands. Stop, before you go putting your mattress to
the test you might want to consider some facts
5 common nasty STI’S and STD’S
you just don’t want!
Chlamydia – A bacterial infection that affects the
reproductive organs which can affect women and
men. Sometimes there are no symptoms; Chlamy-
dia is known as the “Silent Disease”, an estimated
80 percent of women and 50 percent of men won’t
know they are infected at all.
Symptoms – In Women, you will suffer with bleed-
ing after intercourse or between menstrual periods,
lower abdominal pain, vaginal discharge and painful
urination. Men may notice discharge from the penis
14
and a burning or itching around the opening of the
penis. You may also develop an inflamed testicle,
due to an infected duct and you will experience pain
during urination. As mentioned earlier, it is usually
a “Silent Disease”. You can catch Chlamydia during
unprotected vaginal, anal or oral sex.
If left untreated – up to 40 percent of women will
develop pelvic inflammatory disease (PID), which
can cause permanent damage to the fallopian tubes,
uterus and surrounding tissues. PID sufferers experi-
ence chronic pelvic pain and are at greater risk of
infertility and potentially fatal ectopic pregnancy. In
men it can cause sterility and sexually acquired reac-
tive arthritis.
How to get rid of it - It’s so quick, painless and easy:
a single dose of antibiotic.
Gonorrhoea (The Clap) - A bacterium that grows
in mucous areas of the body. These include the
reproductive tract, uterus and fallopian tubes in
women and in the urethra, throat eyes and anus of
both sexes.
Symptoms – If any appear, they will be between
two and thirty days after infection. In men, these
include a burning sensation when urinating and a
yellowish-white discharge from the penis. Some men
get painfully swollen testicles. Symptoms in women
include a burning sensation when urinating, vagi-
nal discharge or bleeding between periods. Eighty
percent of women have no symptoms, 15 percent
in men. Anyone who is sexually active can contract
this disease from the mouth, penis, vagina or anus of
an infected person regardless of whether ejaculation
takes place. If left untreated – Gonorrhoea can be
fatal when it spreads to the blood or joints.
How to get rid of it – A person is infectious un-
til they have been treated. Treatment is through a
course of antibiotics.
Hepatitis B – A serious viral infection of the liver
caused by the Hepatitis B virus (HBV).
Symptoms – You will lose your appetite, feel sick
and begin vomiting. This is about six weeks after
you have been exposed to the virus. You will feel
tired and have abdominal pain in the liver area. You
can catch Hep. B from body fluids, blood, semen,
during unprotected sex or needle sharing.

If left untreated – There can be complications to
your health Seek medical advice as soon as possible.
How to get rid of it - You can receive an injection
of Hepatitis B immune globulin within the first 24
hours after exposure. The best advice is to attend a
sexual health clinic and discuss your concerns.
Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV) – A
virus that weakens the immune system and that can
cause AIDS.
Symptoms – You will probably not notice that you
have HIV, as there may be no symptoms at all. But
more commonly six weeks after being infected by
the virus you may experience flu-like symptoms.
If left untreated - You may remain asymptomatic
for as long as nine years. But during this time of not
knowing the virus is growing and attacking your
white blood cells , the frontline to your immune
system. After ten years or more, the last phase of the
HIV
yOUR
BODY
infection begins. This may include
symptoms severe enough for the infection
to be redefined as AIDS. You are at risk of
becoming infected with HIV if your broken
skin or mucous membranes (the moist thin
tissues in some of the body’s opening, such
as the vagina, the mouth, the rectum and the
opening of the penis) come into direct
contact with infected blood, semen or
vaginal secretions of another person. You
could be at risk if you have unprotected sex
(vaginal, oral or anal ) or you share needles.
How to get rid of it – Treatment focuses on sup-
pressing symptoms for as long as possible, and is
known as Highly Active Antiretroviral Therapy
(HAART), which will bring levels of the virus in
your body down to very low levels, but it cannot
cure of the virus.
Syphilis – An STD caused by the bacterium
Treponema pallidum.
Symptoms – There are four stages of the disease. Be-
tween ten days to three months after infection, dur-
ing the primary stage, you will develop a single firm,
round, small, painless sore at the point where the
infection entered your body. The sores last for about
three to six weeks. Without treatment you enter the
second stage and develop a rash of reddish-brown
spots on your palms and bottoms of your feet. You
may also have swollen glands, sore throat, patchy
hair loss, headaches, weight loss, muscle aches and
fatigue.
If left untreated - When these
symptoms fade you will enter the
latent stage with no further symp-
toms, while serious internal damage
is taking place. Years later, by the
final stage, you may have poor co-
ordination, paralysis, heart problems,
blindness, dementia and it can be
fatal. A simple blood test can confirm
whether or not you are infected.
How to get rid of it – In its early
stages a simple shot of penicillin will
cure you or a course of antibiotics
during the later stages. Simple and
Easy! - Alex Hunter
15
 The
Scene
DVD: 28 Weeks Later
In 28 Weeks later we see a Britain that has suffered
a deadly rage virus that took hold of the country in
28 days later. The film starts with a small group of
survivors (led by Robert Carlyle) who are finally
overcome by a swarm of, for want of a better word
Zombies. The film moves forward where we see
the American army have set up a colony in the Isle
of dogs for the Britain’s who survived or were out
of the country when the virus took its deadly hold.
However shock horror things go wrong and the small
population is left fighting for survival again. Being
what some may call a zombie film you expect a no
brainer. However like its predecessor the film tries to
be more than what it is. A thought ‘what if’ kind of
yarn that will make us think. Like 28 Days Later, the
film not only deals with zombies, but also the threat
of the cold military. Although this time round we do
have a few drippy soldiers who try to help the central
characters. The central characters being a pair of an-
noying teenagers and not Robert Carlyle who at the
beginning we are led to believe is the central charac-
ter (the clever surprise that was probably meant to be
as shocking as the central character dying in psy-
cho). Although the acting wasn’t awful, it was hard
to sympathise with the central characters who were
pretty much to blame for the re-infection in the first
place. I thought they had a bloody cheek to let the
other characters risk their lives to save them. How-
ever this was solved by the convenient coincidence
that they could be the answer to the cure. The
problem is that the film does not know whether it is a
sci-fi horror or a psychological thriller.
Unfortunately it was weak as either. It came across
as a snob-zom film. The DVD is equipped with the
necessary making of, trailers and featurettes. It did
not offer much more but hey it was £9.99 in the
supermarket. Taking this into
consideration I was satisfied I
got what I paid for. - Jez Cynic
16
FILM: Once (Cert 15)
Recently broken hearted boy meets recently bro-
ken hearted girl. They fall in love and just for good
measure. Throw in a few heart-wrenching ballads.
You have all the ingredients for a sickeningly clichéd
love story. So as a good audience member you’re
obliged to scream “For God, Allah, Krishna, Bud-
dha’s sake don’t make me sit through this again.”
Thankfully, Irish Director John Carney has spared
you this self-attack, having created the blissful little
tale – Once.
Set in Dublin, the film tells of two musicians’ first
meeting, unnamed until the credits when they are
quaintly referred to as ‘Guy’ and ‘Girl’. He is a
busker and hoover repairman. She sells the Big Is-
sue. Can you imagine two people more deserving?
Guy is played by Glen Hansard, the lead vocalist of
Irish band The Frames, whose career has included
a secondary role in the Commitments. Girl, played
by Marketa Irglova, is the actor’s film debut at the
unbelievable age of 17. The chemistry between the
two is enchanting as they musically collaborate.
Produced with just a 16-page script, the music is the
backbone of the film. The songs are amazing,
particularly the first song Guy and Girl perform
together ‘falling slowly’. Despite its musical roots,
the film is bless free of awkward reality adjustments.
This may be because the actors are true musicians,
represented best when they wander into a music
shop and borrow the piano to compose a song - you
never question their ability.
The film is not cinematically perfect. Carney’s
amateur camera work and cheesy scenes leave
some wanting. The frolicking and Frisbee-
throwing on the beach could lead anyone to
question the film’s appeal. Yet Carney pulls it
off. It becomes obvious why the film has won
the Sundance audience award and why Steven
Spielberg was listed as one of Carney’s recent
inspirations. This masked cliché is an all round
crowd pleaser and gives a glimpse of
humanity’s better side. - Emma Williamson
 Film: Disturbia
Disturbia is the thrilling tale of teenage boy Kale
Brecht (LaBeouf) and his discovery of a murderer
in his neighbourhood. After assaulting a teacher at
his school, Kale is put on house arrest. His career
focussed mother (Moss) is not around the house
much, leaving Kale with plenty of free time to do
much about nothing. He starts innocently enough
(bored out of his mind and desperate for a snippet
of the outside world), spying on his neighbours in
a very Rear-Window-esque way. He makes friends
with new girl on the block Ashley (Roemer) and
together with another of his pals they witness what
appears to be some disturbing behaviour on the part
of local Mr. Turner (Morse). Turner proceeds to
frighten the trio of friends by behaving strangely and
the penultimate scene could leave anyone breathless!
LaBeoufs’ comedic style gives the film light-hearted
relief it needs, including some very funny moments
involving a group of young boys, a burning bag of
dog poo and some adult television. This neighbour-
hood-watch gone mad crime-thriller, takes exciting
plot twists and turns leaving the audience anxious
for the next
scene. Good
performances
all round, great
direction and
fantastic screen-
play. Altogether
a quality film.
-Holly Raff
The
Scene
Film: Control
Too much too young is the recurring themes in this near
perfect film debut, by Anton Corbijn. The film, based on
Deborah Curtis book Touching from a Distance focuses
on the tragically short lived Singer/Songwriter Ian Curtis
from the band Joy division, who died in 1980.
The film documents the transition of Ian Curtis (played
by Sam Riley), who aspires to become a rock musician
by the joining a local band at a gig in Manchester. There,
he meets his girlfriend-turned wife Deborah, played
by Samantha Morton, (much too old for the role) who
becomes pregnant. The domestic responsibilities of be-
ing a devoted husband, father and rock musician, plus ill
health puts immense pressure on the artist.
Anton Corbijn captures the reality of the Manchester
working class with scenes of small houses and decrepid
tower blocks. Most of the streets are empty with the
future looking bleak for the residents, who are convinc-
ingly captured. Altogether, this conveys the depressing
atmosphere of the late 1970’s. The film is reminiscent of
documentary devices used by Ken Loach.
The cinematography is stunning with each shot artisti-
cally framed. One scene especially, of Curtis’ silhouette
approaching the microphone at a gig to many devoted
fans is wonderful. The extras in the crowd were actually
Joy Division fans. Despite such aesthetics, the film falls
flat because of Corbijns’ empha-
sis on style rather than content.
Even though newcomer Sam
Riley delivers a brilliant per-
formance as the troubled icon,
the fans may feel short changed
as the film does not reveal any
new answers on his musical
material or the circumstances
surrounding his death.
Overall, the film surpasses
recent Hollywood biopics with
director Corbijn making a wise
decision to steering clear from
the typical Hollywood glossy
makeover. - Jacqueline Kirwan
17
 The
Scene
Book Review:
Girls of Riyadh
By: Rajaa Alsanea (Penguin Fig Tree)
Originally published in Beirut in Arabic, it
became a controversial bestseller through out the
Middle East. Immediately banned in Saudi Arabia,
the Girls of Riyadh has opened up the closed world
of woman, in this very conservative country. How-
ever, being banned did not stop millions of Saudis
devouring black market copies.
Hailed, as the East’s answer to Sex in the
City, the Girls of Riyadh, centres around four girls
from Saudis Arabia’s ‘velvet class’ or ‘upper class’.
The story began one Friday after prayers – the author
sat down and began writing emails about her friends
called Gamrah, Lamees, Sadeem and Michelle (not
their real names) on a Yahoo Group. The story takes
us through each girl’s trials and tribulations of life
and love. Gamrah is first to marry and moves to
Chicago, where her husband forces her to remove
her hijab and within a year her husband leaves her
and their new born baby. Lamees is in constant
competition with her twin sister, Sadeem sleeps with
her husband after the marriage contract is signed but
before the wedding ceremony, know as the Milkah
period, and is divorced by her husband for being ‘too
easy’. Michelle, who spent some of her childhood in
the US; clashes with the Saudi Arabia’s ultra con-
servative society and finds herself to be the odd one
out.
The book dismisses our Western ideas, on
how Saudi women act. We may think they are op-
pressed and passive; however, we see these four girls
are just the same as 20 somethings in the west - they
love fashion and love to party. Though, Alsanea
portrays the girls to be like any other 20 somethings,
her book does deal with some sensitive issues in
regards to the frustration and injustice women in the
Middle East face.
The fact that the Girls of Riyadh was pub-
lished at all is an achievement in its self; proving
that women from the Middle East do have a voice
and that people want to hear it. - Catrin Hughes
18
Album Review:
Change
By: The Sugababes
Could this be the
end of the Sugababes...
AGAIN?!?! Change, the
fifth studio album from
Britain’s biggest selling
pop trio the Sugababes
has been eagerly awaited by critics and fans alike.
Unfortunately Change is a complete musical transition
from the fabulous pop sound we have come to know
and love from the ladies. The album melts into self
indulgent, poorly written and over produced
beside material that one would expect from the likes
of Michelle McManus and Shayne Ward.
“About You Now” is without a shadow of a
doubt the stand out track of the album penned by the
pop supreme Cathy Dennis, but the majority of the
record lacks sparkle and the sort of disco dancing, hip
thrusting energy we have become accustom with pre-
vious pop gems such as “Hole in the Head”, “Push the
Button”, “Overload” and “Easy”. Some tracks worth
a listen are the upcoming Christmas ballad title track
“Change”, “Back down” the reggae inspired dance
track full of female empowered lyrics. “Never gonna
dance” is an up-tempo party track that will be played
at many Christmas party.
The Sugababes biggest mistake has been drop-
ping their trade mark pop and trading it in for a grown
up sound that sadly falls on deaf ears. The albums
closing track “Undignified” sums up the new vibe,
utterly disappointing and boringly banal. Bring back
Mutya all is forgiven!- Alex Hunter
Gig Review:
Trocabrahma
Gruff Rhys meets Tony Da Gattora
(at Koko on 29.08.07)
The show at Koko was a mash up of twee
Welsh indie & shouty, psychedelic, south American
freak out music. Gruff Rhys (long-time member
of The Super Furry Animals) was joined in a crazy,
terrifying but essentially beautiful collaboration with
Tony Da Gatorra. If you are unfamiliar with Tony
Da Gatorra, think Spider Dijon in the Mighty Boosh
and you’re on the right lines. So, Tony & Gruff go
searching for the new sound…….
Gruff strolled onstage wearing his now iconic
power rangers helmet, to the rear of the stage was
a table full of gadgets & random household appli-
ances that were no doubt going to be hooked up to
an amplifier later & played through his loop genera-
tor. Gruff is literally the most innovative artist of
our generation and dare I say it, prolific. The set was
performed largely in Welsh, including a speeded up
version of Gyrru Gyrru Gyrru (drive, drive, drive),
an amazing tribal chant-esque rendition of Gwn
Mi Wn (Yes I Know) and of course the beautifully
twee single Candylion. At some point Tony arrived
on stage, he is the man who invented the Gatorra,
(like a hybrid guitar, synth & drum machine) and he
made manic, pounding, whirring soundscapes with
lots of Portuguese shouting over the top. Together
they made a truly amazing racket, Welsh & Brazilian
united in psych. The final song is Gruff’s wonder-
ful album closer Skylon! and if you thought it was
drawn out on record you MUST see it live.
I said this summer was going to be the third
Summer of Love, y’know 20 years since 87 & 40
years since 67. I presumed the soundtrack to this
Summer of Love was going to be New Rave. I was
wrong, all hail Welsh Psychadelia. Dig?
- Leanne Adams
The
Scene
Art Review:
Georg Baselitz
At: The Royal Academy
German identity, nationalism, masculinity
and masturbation are amongst the themes explored
at the retrospective of Georg Baselitz’s work at the
Royal Academy. The artist was born George Kern in
Germany in 1938, and left East Berlin for West as
an art student in 1958, assuming his current identity.
Influenced by Abstract Expressionalism, his paint-
ings remain figurative in content.
Ambiguity about the past continues through
out the show, - a huge wooden figure caused the art-
ist controversy when it’s raised arm was interpreted
as a Nazi salute. Personally I got the impression that
the artist both acknowledged the power of these
associations and enjoyed subverting them. One of his
later canvases features a huge eagle, a potent symbol
of the Third Reich. Its baleful gaze and tension,
hovering as if poised to strike, are made absurd by
the upside down canvas.
Humour is not something I associate with
Abstract Expressionalism, but Baselitz’s work
combines the scale and powerful brush & drip work
of their influence with a robust vulgarity; a series of
prints and paintings entitled ‘The Big Night Down
the Drain’ show a man pissing in the gutter.
More disturbing are a series of luridly fleshed
disembodied feet floating on dark grounds. Most
powerful for me was the claustrophobic imagined
portrait of Russian symbolist Mikhail Vrubel, who
spent the last years of his life in a psychiatric hospi-
tal.
The hunched, thickly muscled figure gazes
out furtively. One arm is wrapped protectively round
the lower half of his face, while with the other hand
he pulls at his cock; this lonely act becomes one of
unsettling mutual voyeurism. Other highlights in-
clude the 18 huge wooden panels of the ‘Woman of
Dresden’ series, deliberately gouged and pitted. The
naive representations of woman, in eye stingingly
bright colours on black, were rather too reminiscent
of de Kooning for my taste (he leaves me cold) but
they still had an undeniable power.
At The Royal Academy till 9th Dec 2007,
£10/£7 N.U.S., free exhibition guide to students on
request.- Sarah Kingham
19
 ARTS sistance band (commonly used in resistance training)
and partaking in a series of attempts to draw on the
walls of the space he is confined to - whilst battling
against the pull of his restraints
(resistance training being a process that puts the
Has everyone gone body under conditions of restraint during exercise,
causing muscle to become bigger and stronger). Is
barmy for Barney? it perhaps his intention to suggest that the restraint
theory applies to the process by which he makes his

T he Serpentine Gallery is hosting the first ever art bigger and stronger? Although a little superficial,
UK showing of Matthew Barney’s ‘Drawing it seems to have worked for him so far.
Restraint’ Series & the screening of ‘Restraint 9’ Having known very little about the artist or his
(now on show at the Gate Picture House until the work before seeing the exhibition, I was free of the
end of the exhibition’s run). Drawing Restraint is an affecting hype and controversial publicity, which
ongoing series of film/performance/photography and surrounds his work and his personal life. Entering
installation works by Matthew Barney, dating back the first part of the exhibition a number of TV
to 1987 and involving a process of struggle against a monitors, displayed side-by-side and back-to-back,
series of restraints imposed by the artist on himself, showing the ‘Drawing Restraint’ films. Reading
restricting his natural ability to draw. about him in the gallery’s artist description, I was
Born 1967 in San Francisco and growing up able to comprehend where his ideas came from, but
between Idaho, where he lived with his father, and found it all a little loosely tied up. Why is he giving
New York, where he visited his mother, it is widely himself these restraints? Is it because there is
publicised that Barney’s early experiences playing nothing actually holding him back otherwise?
American football and visiting galleries in New York Since his graduation in from Yale University in
with his mother (who is also an artist) explain where 1989, he shot to almost immediate success, having
his influences and ideas come from. In his Restraint his first two solo shows: facility of INCLINE and
works, Barney is seen in a number of self determined facility of DECLINE (both in 1991) at Stuart
situations - for instance being tied by an elastic re- Regen Gallery, Los Angeles, and at Barbara Glad-
stone Gallery, New York,
then winning the Europa
2000 Prize at the 45th
Venice Biennale in 1993
and further winning the
Hugo Boss Prize in 1996.
His style of work could
be comparable to the ‘Proc-
ess Art’ movement of the
1960’s, in that his use of
transitory materials such
as dead fish, shrimp heads
and petroleum jelly, fits him
neatly into that category.
It is said in his favour that
he is part of the end of
that movement of artists,
which boasts the member-
ship of Jackson Pollock,
Richard Serra, Eva Hesse,
Robert Morris and Bruce
Nauman. The American art
scene tends to celebrate its
Matthew Barney © 1988 Matthew Barney artists in the “new found
Drawing Restraint 2 1988 Courtesy Gladstone Gallery, New
Documentation still York Photograph: Michael Rees
genius” sense, which makes them highly marketable.

20
Barney’s limited edition DVDs selling at $400,000
Student
a piece, adds another genius to its list of celebrated
ones. Not denying that America has contributed Poll
some home grown contenders to the conceptual
art movement, but the school of thought is still of
European origins. As with Jackson Pollock, America The Students’ Opinion Poll is one of
has had its ulterior interests in supporting it’s own
players, especially when they fit the ‘all American our main features now. In this issue
supermodel’ image or ‘the guy next door from the we asked 200 students at our different
Flintstones’ as well as Barney does. Is he being campuses:
groomed as America’s equivalent to Joseph Beuys,
whose style is embedded deep within
Matthew Barney’s work in his use of petroleum jelly, How welcoming was London Met? We
complicated theories and sometimes works with no found:
obvious meaning?
Back in the gallery alongside the ‘Drawing
Restraint’ series he also exhibits choreographed City Campus:
photographs and props from his film ‘Restraint 9’. 50% Felt Unwelcomed
A glossy feature length film, made and produced to
high production values, shot in visually impressive 30% Had a Mediocre Welcoming
locations, using elaborate costumes and make up 20% Felt Well Welcomed
and casting himself and Björk (his true life partner)
as the romantic stars of a mythical tale set aboard a
Japanese whaling ship. The gallery also presents in
its central space the remnants of a ‘restraint’ per-
formance having occurred within. Hand grips on
the walls lead to a corner where his ‘Path, Situation,
Condition & Production’ theory are scribbled within
a simple drawing of the self styled symbol he calls
the ‘Cremaster Cycle’ – a theory stemming from his
knowledge and interest in the Cremaster muscle that
surrounds the bollocks. Although he clambers for
originality, he hasn’t or can’t for all the restrictions, North Campus
come up with anything new. Having to constantly 50% Felt Unwelcomed
live up to the ‘genius’ image he has been labelled
with, he is left with big boots to fill. 10% Had a Mediocre Welcoming
The interesting thing about this show is the 40% Felt Well Welcomed
conflicting views that surround his success. Let me
know what you think?
The exhibition runs until 11 Nov @ the Ser-
pentine Gallery, Kensington Gardens, London, W2
3XA. Open daily, 10am - 6pm - Admission free! For
information, Tel: 020 7402 6075 or visit informa-
tion@serpentinegallery.org.
The film ‘Restraint 9’ is being shown separately
at the Gate Picturehouse, 87, Notting Hill Gate,
London, W11 3JZ. Tickets: £11/£9 for Picturehouse
members and concessions. It may be necessary to And you can win £20 gift voucher if we chose your
book ahead! Call: 0871 704 2058 question/idea for our next poll. So email that to
www.picturehouses.co.uk media.su@londonmet.ac.uk before 12th November
- Elsa Tierney 2007.
(Standard terms and condition applicable for the
prize draw).
21
 horoscope
PISCES
Feb 20-Mar 20
Female Pisces - Honestly you don’t
look like Cherie Blair, just a touch of Amy
Winehouse after a heavy night at the vodka. Give
your bee hive a brush or even better get it cut. You
are well overdue for a makeover. Shock the bee-otches
who have been dissing your weave, try a new look and
get yourself a decent guy.
Male Pisces – stop biting your nails, that’s why your
breath smells. Start using a three step skin care
programme. Cleanse, tone and moisturise your skin,
or it’s going to look like Donnatella Versace’s croc-
odile clasp.
Date for the Diary – 29th October – Turn
your MP3 player down or you could
end up in A and E.
that money on clothes, especially a size too small for you.
Buy a book for University and read it. Break the habit of a
Taurus
Apr 21-May 21
People are saying you are full of
bull sh** and this month they are spot
on, stop bigging yourself up it’s only really
hiding your shortcomings. This month try to
make friends with someone new. I know this will
be hard for you as you are a social leper but one
friend is better than none. At home things are tense.
Be the bigger person and just admit that you did it.
You might still get a Christmas present, and if not the
University provides a great accommodation service
and hostels list.
Date for the Diary – 30th October – Do not
wear that top you love, someone very bul-
bous is going to wear the exact same
thing and you will be mortified. Try
something from the back of
the wardrobe.
AQUARIUS
Jan 21-Feb 19
Your problems make Britney Spears
issues look like a choice between the red and
the brown smarty. Ask your parents for advice. Or
even better: your grandparents - your Grandmother
is not as uptight as you think. She makes your
Granddad smile at least once a year or at least she
did…bless her.
Date for the Diary – 31st October – Put on a bit
of slap or style your hair - you don’t want
your friends to think you’ve dressed
up for Halloween.
Aries
Mar 21-Apr 20
Just because you share the same star sign as Vic-
toria Beckham does not make you a wag. A wannabe,
yes, but a wag? Only in your dreams. Stop spending all
lifetime.
Date for the Diary – 27th October – Don’t swal-
low, it’ll go down the wrong way and
cause tonsillitis.
Gemini
May 22-Jun 22
Some people might refer to you as two
faced, I would diagnose your condition as
Bi-polar. Not to fear, the best people are
Robbie Williams, Stephen Fry…ok, that’s it.
Anyway, try to concentrate on the positives this
month. Eat more coloured fruit, get more zinc in
your diet and join a book club.
Date for the Diary- 5th November – A member of
your family will test your patience. Just chant
and think happy thoughts, such as when you
finish University and get a decent job
you can cut them off for life.

Cancer
Jun 23-Jul 23
You’re feeling like a trip to Primark is out of your price range, living off pot noodles and
chip sandwiches will only get you on the programme! You are what you eat and you don’t want
that crazy Gillian McKeith fingering your stools. Think about getting a part time job or some work
experience and stop complaining.
Date for the Diary – 7th November – You are going to fancy someone you shouldn’t
(animals are ok as pets but that’s all they ever can be, alright?)
22
 horoscope
Leo
Jul 24- Aug 23
A relationship that you are having with either
a friend or a partner is not working. Weigh up the Virgo
pros and cons. Could you do better? If so, bin them Aug 24-Sep 23
and move on. Focus on yourself - it suits you better be- You might think it looks good but
ing selfish, it’s what they’ve always thought about you they are laughing behind your back
anyway. about it. I know you secretly want to be
Date for the Diary – 7th November- Clean that famous but unless you are Paris Hilton, no
bathroom mirror! See the real you. You’ll one is interested in that sort of talent (unless
find you’ve let yourself go. you consider X-rated films). Use your talents to
make some extra money as long as it’s
legal - who cares it’s money right!
Date for the Diary – 6th October – Make
Libra sure your nose is fully clean and free
Sep 24-Oct 23
from clingers as you might just
You are feeling bored when in
bump into that hot piece of
actual fact you are the boring one
mm-hmm today!
- that’s what your parents are
thinking and they are quite disappoint-
ed. They thought they would see less of
you now you are at university but unfortu-
nately you are still getting under their feet. Scorpio
Join a society, make some new friends - it Oct 24-Nov 22
might have been cool in the nineties for your It’s time to drop your attitude with a certain person; you
mum to be your best friend like Baby Spice know who I’m talking about. Stop blaming your family for the
but it’s time to move on. Get with the way you look, it’s just the cruel hand of fate. If you are feeling low
programme and get a life. see a counsellor. Your friends are sick of listening to you moan, moan,
Date for the Diary – Nov 18th – Make and moan. It’s all about you.
sure you brush your teeth, your Date for the Diary – 10th November, It’s that time again for an
luck could be in and nobody STD test, it’s one test you might able to pass, remember to
likes a mouth that smells use protection you don’t want to end up on Jer-
like a rotten egg emy Kyle doing a DNA test.
buffet.

Sagittarius
Nov 23-Dec 21
You’ve been feeling pretty special recently,
a sexy someone has been flirting with you, or so
you think. Unfortunately it’s all in your head - they
Capricorn
Dec 22-Jan 20
actually fancy your mate because in the words of Kate
You are letting off steam in the wrong way.
Nash they are much fitter. You may need to look for
Try to cut down on pulses, eggs and fried foods.
someone in your own league; we all get ahead of
The lecturers are getting pig sick of being blamed
ourselves from time to time but be realistic - it wastes
for your irritable bowel syndrome. A blast from the
less time. Your friends might mock you but then beg-
past will shock you this month and you will have to try
gars can’t be choosers.
and make it to the toilet in time, before there is another
Date for the Diary – 16th Nov it’s just a cold,
accident (you know what I’m getting at).
so there’s no need to panic just yet. Note:
Date for the Diary – 3rd November – Don’t
Vitamin C and less of the
worry, you can’t go blind. It’s only a wives
alcohol.
tale - they are just
winding you up. 23
- ALEX HUNTER-
UNT00083 Share London Met 210x148.5 11/10/07 09:53 Page 1

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