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Claims Fashion

Claims Fashion



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Published by: Rev. Dr. Christopher J. Garcia on Aug 31, 2007
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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Claims Department Issue 12
This is all about Fashion
This is the Claims Department I’d started working on about a year ago and never nished because I was so busy thinking of so many other issues of various fanzines.This one is all about  fashion and it’s for the eFanzines.com edition of Claims De-  partment. The story behind this one is my trip to a very  fun fashion show in Boston. Remember: these were the days when I wasn’t as good a guy as I am today.One Night In Bangor 
I’ve never been to Maine, but this was suposed to be the start of a tripup there to hang out at a lodge for the weekend. It didn’t happen because Igot a call.“Chris, this is Brad Brown.” Brad was a guy I met when I was workingas a runner for the paper. I didn’t evenknow he had my number. “You want tocover the Dangerous Beauty Ball?”“What the hell is that?”“It’s a gothic/fantasy Ball thathas a fashion show beforehand. It’s alot of fun.”“Where is it?”“Baltimore.”I hadn’t been to Baltimore inmore than ve years, so I wanted to goand hang out. I was broke (as always)so I had to catch a ride from Bostonto Baltimore with a friend. It was easybecause my friends were always want-ing to go places. In this case, it was Judith, who hadn’t been around much,but was glad to be there. She grabbedme around noon on Thursday, aboutve minutes after my last class for the week (I had a great sched at that point)and she powered us down there fasterthan I’d thought possible. She driveslike I do...only with far less spacebetween her and the car in front of her. We’d stopped a few places alongthe way, so we were driving late intothe night, but she got us there withenough time to spare before anythinggood started happening. We discovereda little greasyspoon rightover the Mary-land border.
Andy’s was a smalldiner the likesof which you’veseen a hun-dred times.We were thereearly enoughso that the sun was only startingto rise. The place was open and I was hungry. I’dslept 2/3 of the way down, which was impressivesince we left in themiddle of the day.“This placelooks like the kindof joint wherethere might be ast ght at anymoment.” Judithnoted.“You seeNatural Born Killers? The diner withthat waitress? That’s gotta be thisplace.” I noted.It turned out not to be the place(that one was in Arizona) but we or-dered in traditional Chris and Judithmanner.“One thing of wheat toast, onething of orange juice, one order of friesand some hashbrowns.”“Who gets what?” the waitress, a young woman who must not have beenmore than 20.“Just lower the plates betweenus and we’ll sort it out.” Judith said.Since I’d slept much of the way, we hadn’t talked much. Judith andI always had a lot to talk about, es-pecially when we were tap-dancingaround the fact that we were both
crazy about each other. I was think-ing of asking her if she wanted to joinme at the show, but I knew she wouldhave better places to go. In this case,she had a friend in Washington thatshe was screwing anytime she madeit down that far. We started chattingabout movies and I mentioned that Ihad just seen one of the best ScienceFiction lms of All-Time: The Day TheEarth Stood Still. She said the onlything she didn’t like about it was thedamn kid who kept saying ‘Geez Mr.Carpenter.” This led to a discussionof how much you can overlook of thelittle things before it starts to seriouslyeffect the movie. I brought up that thebest momentin Three and aBaby was thebriefest of thebrief cameos byCollin Quinn.She said thatdidn’t make themovie watch-able, and Ihad to agree.We talked alot. and shebrought upClerks. I lovedClerks, butshe hated thelittle thingslike the discus-sion about theEwoks and the list of the porno titles. Those were two of my favourite partsand we argued as the food was put be-tween us.“Can we get some biscuits andgravy with extra gravy?” Judith asked. The waitress was back with the bis-cuits and a tub of gravy in less than aminute. We smothered the hashbrowns with the gravy and dug in.Oh My Sweet Jesus Lord it washeavenly. The gravy was better thananything I’d ever eaten. It was chock-full of crumbled up sausage and bigchunks of black pepper. It was whiterthan snow and it just couldn’t be beatfor full avor. I was amazed and we or-dered two more cups of it to use on ev-erything. They were also kind enoughto let us have some grated cheese sothat we could do our version of theMontreal favourite Poutine (or however you spell it). It was delicious and fat-tening and we just had the best timeever eating.Oddly, the two of us spent muchof the time talking about our SigOths.She had a fwe guys that she bouncedbetween and I was single, though hav-ing a slight ing with M. The ins andouts of our relationships were oftenthe main source for meal conversation.Either that, or ghost stories. Ghoststories and maybe a few Bigfoot tales.Maybe movie quotes. Or Simpsons. Or wrestling. OK, we didn’t always talkabout relationships, but especially when Judith andI were chattingthings got into thedeep nooks andcrannies. Some-times she wouldover-share...andusually I’d go evenfurther. That was afault I had back inthose days.I guess I still have that issue asthe Drink Tank often proves.After the meal, it was time tohead out to our respective arenas. I was going to the movies.
The Movie  
In the history of lm, there area lot of very weird titles. My personalfavourite at the moment is Awesome;I Fuckin’ Shot That!. One of the morememorable ones of the 1990s was ToWong Foo; Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar. Now, it’s not the typi-cal movie, it’s one of those movies thattakes guys who are typecast in otherareas and tries to make them intosomething different. In this case, ittakes two of the toughest sreen idols, The Swayze (Patrick Swayze) and Wes-ley Snipes, and turns them into DragQueens. Now, Drag Queens were verymuch in vogue at the momen with thehuge success of Priscella: Queen of the Desert. That movie, starring HugoWeaving, Guy Pierce and Zod him-self, Terance Stamp, was a great lm

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