Introduction to

INTERFAITH DIALOGUE
and Relationship Building
1. What did you bring here with you?

2.   What do you hope to take with

you at the end of this workshop?

 Conflict is a turning point
in
a relationship that signals the
opportunity for growth, and for
making a change for the
better.
 What it is that conflict changes when it
escalates?
Six key changes/shifts that conflict produces:
1. Change in perception and seeing the other
person as the problem.

Person 1 Person 2

- most of the language will tell who is to blame and who is

responsible.

- shift from talking together to address the problem together (to

looking at the same direction), to blaming the other.
2. Shift in issues.

-the issues expand; need for

conflict mapping

- escalation of conflict is
around many other issues
- context vis-à-vis relation
- perception of the other
about me and vice versa
 Module 1:
What is conflict?
3. Change in communication pattern.

- moving toward another/different

dimensions

- speaking less together

- going away from the relationship

outward towards others not directly
involved.

- people have to rely on indirect

communication (gossip, chat behind
the scenes), on anything that
resembles the truth. TRUTH
- Polarization--moving away from
where the conversation is needed
4. Reciprocal causation.

- people begin to look at conflict

in a new level.

- conflict has now become the

reaction to the reaction.

- conflict continues independent of

the original persons involved.

- the dynamics of the interaction

becomes itself the problem.

- reaction becomes the justification

of
the next action.
5. Goals change.

- people come to a place where the purpose is no longer to solve

the
problem but to hurt the other, to be vindicated, to take revenge.

- form drives a certain level of hostility—passive aggressive

6. Organizational/system change.

- sharp polarization of two or more groups.

- one set of people become close together; they agree on anything.

- they do not talk to the other, but together.

- people want to hear only their own version of the truth; they do
not disagree or try not to disagree.

”Our strength depends on our agreeing with one another.”

 Module 2:
How to address conflict?
 Topic 1:
Understanding the SELF
in relation to the world
 PHYSICAL BODY

Outer
Inner
World
World

Sense organs:
Receiver of stimuli from the
outer world
 SOUL
Conscious Soul
Sees the Self as part of a
greater whole, and is able to
Intellectual Soul
engage the thinking and
feeling processes in the Perceives the outer
experience. world mainly through
the eyes, and makes
PRESENCE OF BEING in sense of the experience
full awareness of the whole through the thinking
prevails in the experience. process.
Rational thinking is
dominant in the
Sentient Soul experience.
Experiences the outer
world through the
physical senses; The Perceiver
Feelings are dominant
in the experience.
 Human Experience of Conflict

PERSONAL
Inner conflict of
Outer Inner thinking, feeling and
World World willing

RELATIONAL
conflict between the self and
the perceived external world
 Conflict in Relationships
Conscious Soul
Sees the Self as PART of a
greater WHOLE, and is able to Intellectual Soul
recognize and respect When what is being perceived
DIFFERENCES; is able to does not make sense,
transcend feelings of aversion, uncertainty arises. When not
see through fear and choose in assuaged, this may lead to
favor of the wellbeing of the FEAR. Fear in relationships
whole. may result in anger, and anger
in hatred.
Has the courage & capacity to
move FROM FEAR TO LOVE. Natural tendency is to argue,
debate, and to prove ones self
right and the other wrong; to
fight back.
Sentient Soul
Experiences discomfort,
pain, and threat to personal
wellbeing.
Feelings of aversion.
Natural tendency is to avoid
pain & discomfort.
The Power of Thought as revealed by
“The Messages from Water”
Dr. Masaru Emoto
 Doctor of Alternative Medicine
from Yokohama, Japan.

 He was introduced to Magnetic

Resonance Analysis (“micro-cluster
water”) technology in the U.S.

 In 1994, he engaged in an
extensive research on a new
water evaluation technology.

 He experimented on Water Crystal

photography. He took pictures of water
as it freezes (at 5 ̊ C below zero) to
form crystal structures.
 Clean & pure water

Yusui Springs Shimanto River

 Polluted water

Biwako City lake in Yodo City river, in

Shiga Osaka
 But Dr. Emoto’s experiment went beyond just
photographing the molecular structure of clean &
polluted water…
 He photographed water samples before and
after being exposed to certain kinds of MUSIC.

Beethoven’s “Pastorale” Heavy metal rock

 Furthermore, Dr. Emoto’s experiment went beyond the
effect of sound vibrations on water molecular
structures …

 He asked: What if we expose water to certain

WORDS (placing water in bottles with
labels overnight) ...?

“You make me sick.

“Thank You” I will kill you”
 “You fool”
“Love & Gratitude” (Japanese) vs. (English)
 Water crystal structure of Fujiwara Dam
before & after being prayed over by a Shinto
priest for one hour

Before prayed over After being prayed over

 Question:
70–80%
 How many percent of
water is the human
body?

 How many percent of

water is the whole
planet Earth?
70–80%
How much then can you affect
your self, your children, the people,
and the world around you with your
words and your thoughts?
Ask yourself:

1. What was your INTEREST? What was the INTEREST

of the other?

2. What was your ATTITUDE towards pursuing your

interest? What was the ATTITUDE of the other?

3. What was BAD about the conflict?

4. What was GOOD about the conflict?

5. Did you RESOLVE the conflict? If yes, how? If no, why

not?
 Topic 2:
Understanding DIFFERENCES
in POSITION
 Topic 3:
Understanding DIFFERENCES
in DISPOSITION
Essentials to the endeavor of addressing conflict

- Dialogue

- Presence

- Heart Listening
 Module 3:
Introduction to
Dialogue and Interfaith
Relationship-Building
 What is Dialogue?
Dialogue comes from the Greek word

dia--through, and logos--word.

In Interfaith Relationship-building,
a. Dialogue is a way of being in relationship
with God, Self, and Others in the world.

b. It is a two-way communication process

- within ones self
- between the Self and the “other”
Paulo Freire:

Dialogue is not possible without a profound love for the

world and for people. Love is both the foundation of
dialogue and dialogue itself. Only responsible people–the
subjects of their own history--can participate in dialogue,
and it cannot exist in a situation of domination.
Domination is like a mental illness of love. Love is an act of
courage, not of fear. Love is commitment to other people.
No matter where the oppressed are found, the act of love
involves commitment to their cause, the cause of liberation.
And this commitment, because it is loving, must take place
in the form of dialogue. Love is brave and free, it cannot be
sentimental or manipulative. If it does not lead to other acts
of freedom it cannot really be love. It is only by abolishing a
situation of oppression that it is possible to restore love in
that situation. If I do not love the world --love life—love
people, I cannot enter into dialogue.[1]

[1]Anne Hope and Sally Timmel, Training for Transformation: A Handbook

for Community Workers (London: ITDG Publishing, 1995), 26.
In relation to other human beings,
Dialogue may be

• An end in itself
• A means to an end
 Why Dialogue?
As an end in itself

a. Because it is who I am, my nature as a

human being.

b. Because I am a human being, I am

constantly in a state of dialogue.
 Why Dialogue?
As a means to an end

a. To live up to the teachings and ideals of my faith

b. To address conflict and understand and appreciate the

“other”
c. To build mutually respectful and harmonious
relationships and promote peace, justice and
healing
Question:

Is my way of being in this world with

others life-
giving and nourishing?

Or is it destructive and self-serving?

Participants in Dialogue:

a. SELF

b. OTHER (persons, animate and

inanimate

objects in nature, etc.)

 AWARENESS of SELF in
RELATIONSHIP with the OTHER
SELF OTHER

Position Position
Interest Interest

Value Value

Need Need
Forms of Dialogue
- Dialogue of Life

- Dialogue of Action

- Dialogue of Religious Experience

- Dialogue of Theological Discourse

Dialogue of life.
Here, participants are drawn together by their ordinary life
circumstances to relate with one another on the level of
their everyday concerns (such as school, work, family,
neighborhood, business, etc.). They do not necessarily
discuss matters of religion, but relate with one another
about common issues of concern in their daily life (such as
the safety of their children’s playground, the security of
their neighborhood, garbage disposal schedule, noise
pollution, etc.) that affect them collectively. They relate
with one another on these matters from the values and
ideals of their respective beliefs and faith traditions.
Dialogue of action.
Participants collaborate and work together for a common
good. They engage in joint projects and activities that
promote the realization of a common vision or aspiration
(such as lobbying for higher wages, cleaning the
neighborhood sidewalks of garbage, planting trees along
the river to prevent flooding during the rainy season, etc.).
Here, it is important that the relationship is built on the
foundations of mutual respect, understanding, and
cooperation.
Dialogue of religious experience.

This is different from the dialogue of theological discourse

in that it is primarily focused on the experience of God (or
Absolute Reality) in prayer and worship rather than on
discourse. Here, the participants must be deeply rooted in
their respective faith traditions in order to participate in the
sharing of their respective spiritual or religious practices
(e.g., prayer, meditation, spiritual expressions, religious
festivities, etc.) without fear of violating their own beliefs.
The dialogue practitioner must not only be rooted in faith,
but also be open to and respectful (and perhaps even
appreciative!) of the experiences of the members of other
faiths traditions.
Dialogue of theological discourse.

Here, there is the exchange of views, information, and

theological reflections on the respective religious beliefs of
the participants. This is what is commonly thought of when
people speak of interreligious dialogue. This is perhaps one
of the most difficult of all the ways of engaging in
relationship with people of different faiths, and it is
advisable to have an experienced interfaith dialogue
moderator to act as the third party and facilitator. Ground
rules must be laid prior to engagement, and a “common
ground” or a “safe space’ must first be created to
accommodate the diversity of views, convictions, and
sentiments.
 Module 4:

SELF in relationship with

the “OTHER”
PRESENCE
 Presence has to do with
• BEING, rather than DOING
• QUALITY, rather than FUNCTION.
The Seven Qualities of Presence:
1. Vulnerability

– “to have a wound” and to carry it gracefully

- acknowledgement of who I am, that I depend on

a Higher Being.

- capacity to be WITH people.

2. Sincerity

- the word started in the days of the Roman Empire

when buildings out of marble were built; some people
who bought and sold the marbles would cover the
imperfections with wax. But when the wax melted
the imperfections would appear.
- sin cera (without wax); exactly as it is
NOT ARTIFICIAL
- you are fully who you are.
3. Patience
- has the quality of being OK with waiting, with not
having a hundred percent now.

- waiting in long standing

- does not go with anger & frustration

- has a quality of waiting with hope

- waiting gracefully
4. Courage
- the quality of being willing to step into the unknown
- the act of making known in a context in which it may
not be safe or wanted (example: to bring forward a
different view when you are in a group of friends who
may not agree with you).

- being fully who you are and how you see the world.
5. Humility

- “I have not arrived at the full Truth.”

- a constant capacity to recognize in others something
that I have fully understood alone.
- I have something yet to be gained from others.
- a sense of awe and wonder.
- I am going to stay connected to other people who
may see things differently.
 6. Compassion

- “with heart”; to be with another person’s being and

feeling.

- do not replace the other person’s feelings, but enter a

world of relationship where you can enter into a
world
with another.
- a willingness to be alongside of
- a sense of relationship.
7. Clarity

- a sense of purpose; bringing forward your

sense of vision

- capacity to touch your own sense of vision,

direction and purpose within the bigger
picture.

- helps us find a system through which we

can address the different issues.
HEART LISTENING
 HEART LISTENING
 

Heart Listening is about

- being fully present to the “other.”

Being fully present means

- letting go of the past and the future
- to be in the present moment with the other

Being in the present moment with the

other person - is holding the other person’s
being fully in ones self, and focusing not only on
the words that are being
said, but more so on the silences between
those
words.
Heart listening therefore demands from the listener
- the ability to tune in to the speaker with a silent mind
and an open heart

- the emptying of the self in order to give room to the

other person to “BE in ME.“

- the ability to allow the other to be him/herself without

being judged, criticized, or condemned. There is only
empathy and a sense of oneness with the “other” whom
one has given room to BE in ones self.
 Guidelines for Heart Listening
in Dialogue
(Kay Lindhal)

1. Be fully present.

Leave the concerns of the past and the

anxieties of the future behind. All
distractions from the present must be
avoided.
 2. Shift focus of attention from the “self”
to
the“other.”

Be aware of assumptions. They are pitfalls

of the self that disable us from being fully
present to the other. What we assume is
often invisible to us. Learn to recognize
assumptions by noticing when you get upset
or annoyed by something that is being
said. Just let it be, suspend it, and resume
listening for understanding of the other.
 3. Listen and speak without judgment.

The purpose of listening is to understand

the other, not to determine if he or she is
good, bad, right, or wrong.
 4. Suspend status.

Everyone is an equal partner in the

listening experience. There is no seniority or
hierarchy. All are partners in the mutual
quest for insight and clarity.
 5. Honor confidentiality.

Keep names in the room so if you share

stories or ideas, names of participants will not
be revealed. Create a safe space for self-
expression.
 6. Express your personal response,
informed by
your own beliefs, practices, and
orientation
in life.

Speak for yourself.

7. Listen for understanding, not to agree
with or believe.
8. Ask clarifying or open-ended questions
to assist your understanding.
 9. Honor silence and time for reflection.

Notice what one wants to be said rather

than what you want to say.
10. One person speaks at a time.
Many faiths and many voices speak the Truth
Yet our fears and anger tear our world apart.
We must begin with the light of hope within
To heal our differences with one language,
To heal our differences with one language ---
of the heart.

One Language of the Heart

 Be the change you wish to see in the
world!
- Mahatma Gandhi
 The Peacemakers’ Circle
Foundation, Inc.
Building Bridges of Understanding

Rm. 105 PhilDHRRA Partnership Center

59 C. Salvador St., Varsity Hills, 1108
Quezon City, Metro Manila,
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E-mail: peacemakerscircle_uri@yahoo.com;
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