Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Prologue
1
When you sit down to write a novel, you search, sometimes in
vain, for the prefect beginning. I did and after several failed
Budapest. And this in itself was true enough. Not one of us did
die. Not Hemingway. Not Peter. Not Katrina. Not Daniel. And
then but would some hours later, while sitting on the floor of the
The lounge was a cube like room and had eight rows of plastic
they came to a V a few feet from the wall at the far right hand
knew damn well I looked silly sitting there on the floor. And why
it and I also sported a suit and tie. I was also a Senior editor
this. Anyway, the combination of the three, my age, the suit and
there I was, hunkered down, back against the wall, legs stretched
3
But there wasn't anything to be done about this. I was pecking
estate; from the print media to the electronic, were clamoring for
But therein, haste belied the problem. Because the interview had
been hastily arranged, a mere three hours ago, I hadn't had time
An hour later I had grown tired of working and shut down the
and didn't pay any attention to them. But after a few seconds I
noticed two girls laying just beyond a row of chairs that came to
an end at the wall opposite of where I sat. I had hadn't slept for
more than twenty hours and was tired and to keep myself from
and wore the apparel of the laid back youth traveling to hell and
back, and faded jeans. As they had the same hair color, and the
attention away from them onto an elderly couple occupying the two
end chairs across from me. They were engaged in an argument about
how stupid it was to park their car at the airport lot. She
and thought: You are on vacation. Forget about the car. Enjoy.
5
Chapter Two.
hotel room, and I would spend the night here and in the morning
few winks when traveling overseas. Jet lag and all. But because I
eyes by the time I departed the plane and everything had a vague
left over quality to it, kind of like an old black and white
movie.
numbness away. Close the eye lids tight, quickly snap them open.
Work the fingers, stretch them, close them into a tight fist.
Squeeze the buttocks. Curl and uncurl the toes. By the time my
purpose.
the way one does when suffering jet lag for my bag to come
their bags and depart. Why them, I thought. Why not my bag. I only
By the time there was only myself and a few other passengers
left waiting, despair had entered. The despair grew as the few
bags left on the carousal kept going round and round indicating
this was all the baggage from the flight. In my tired state the
thought of my bag lost or on its way to China was too much to bear
and I silently began to bitch at the gods that be. I was still
doing so a few minutes later when Julie and Anna walked up and
7
It was here I realized that they weren't sisters or cousins,
New York. She was maybe twenty-eight, or nine. She had a feminine
oblong eyes, and a full firm mouth. Anna, who I had thought to be
her sister, was actually a girl of about nine years of age. She
had the lively curious eyes often found in one so young. Anna, I
quickly decided, enjoyed where they were going simply for the joy
lost and fear in their eyes. Little boys see chivalry on the movie
screen and want to imitate the same and be gallant when they are
all grownup. I have known a great many men who have gotten over
her eyes.
polite hesitancy.
"I'm sorry. I thought you were from this part of the world.
are flying high over China right now. I vote for the choice
time. So it was with Julie and me. Before I could respond, Julie
9
stand about five eleven and weigh in at one seventy. Although I
was a few years shy of fifty, a fact I may or may not have
damn duffel bag was heavy. I had not anticipated its weight and
digging my heels into the floor and jerking powerfully up. As with
all things heavy, they are not as heavy as they seem when exerting
will and muscle power, and I was doing both when the duffle bag
duck, almost lost my balance and fell face down on the floor. But
at the last moment I saved face and the bag and honor by seeking
and grasping purchase with the toes of my feet and at the same
time rocking onto the balls of my feet and by shear force jerking
the bag to a halt. I was both proud and foolish and flashed a
sideways awkward grin to show as much. Anna did the natural thing
and giggled; although she had the grace to try and hide the same
much.
scarlet blush crept upon her cheeks. She wore it well, and I said
exact. She taught grade school there. Sixth grade. She was on her
to be exact. She had never been overseas before. She was exhausted
and excited at the same time. Although she didn't say as much, she
was also frightened by the whole trip, and was also rather
City. But stopped. The title usually impressed strangers, and also
the slight widening of her eyes I knew that she was impressed and
and meet and half believe what the other says. A pub is one such
pub being a place where booze and exaggeration are passed about in
abundance, will half believe what the other says. But I have often
11
were both strangers in a strange land and unlike at home where our
tired from the long journey and at that moment the bond of
upward lilt of her eyes, and a curling back of the cheeks; both
our way. The bag was mine. My only bag and I snared it. A mound of
hers. I was about to ask how come so much luggage when Anna took
ramble on. The yawn facilitated a motherly pat on the head. Anna
carried a teddy bear and held it out in reply to what Julie had
inquired.
From her purse came the airline ticket envelope given to her
by a far away ticket agent in Dubuque Iowa. She had worried over
the contents often during the trip, and this was apparent by the
worn frayed edges of the envelope. She pulled out a computer check
too?"
I was hoping she was, and she was I was too. "Yes."
The fear of uncertainty was back in her eyes. She was unsure
of how to proceed from here. And why not? She was confused by it
all. I had been through this rigmarole many times before. The
arranged by the airlines. I explained about the hotel and had her
was back within moments and shifted the mound of luggage onto the
very good job of stacking it, the duffel bag seemed to teeter on
duffel bag with one hand to keep it from falling while meandering
our way through the airport. If Julie noticed the duffle bag was
dispensed the vouchers. But it was only uneventful for me. Julie,
who had never stepped foot outside Iowa, found being in a foreign
land waiting for a very bored and very tired woman to issue
13
vouchers exciting, and bubbled over with questions about Eastern
there was only one window open, and I had ample time to answer her
questions. All the while Anne either talked to the teddy bear or
us into the City Center and to the hotel Kasina. Although it was
fall, late October, winter arrives early in Eastern Europe and the
night air was little cool. Julie was wearing what she had worn in
New York and must of been cold. But if she noticed the cold, she
didn't mention it. She had kept up a steady stream of chatter and
it was here that she fell strangely quiet. The breeze was brisk
enough to toss a few strands of hair over her eyes. The effect
flam the unsuspecting tourist into a very expensive taxi ride into
the city. But not even the taxi drivers who rushed at us and
features of her face. I shooed them away and they like dutiful
us. I looked down and saw that Anna had the same look on her face
as her mother did. They were both enjoying the first fullness of a
strange and exotic place. I wasn't so old and so travel weary that
and Anna. I fancied it was because the newness of what they saw
and felt was by virtue of being with them also transmitted to me.
Or maybe I was just plain tired and a tired mind plays tricks on
her husband and it was my sworn duty to show them a good time. I
was in Yugoslavian and was greek to them. But they smiled all the
same. In short I played the fool. The other passengers just smiled
did they know. Besides Julie, who although was suffering from
culture shock and jet lag, was woman enough to see through my
15
thinly veiled clown mask, nodded, smiled and laughed
halt. The bus driver had deposited our bags on the sidewalk and
gone about his business. There was quite a huge mound of luggage
accumulated there and Julie was concerned about ferrying the bags
from the sidewalk into the hotel. I assured her that the bell
clerk would handle this. Although she nodded at what I had said,
top lip nibbling at her bottom lip. Anna seemed to have a child's
might instruct, that they wait and went into the hotel to find the
bell clerk. I found him by the concierge's desk and asked him to
was a smallish man, barely five foot tall, and painfully thin to
sidewalk. As anger poured from his eyes his entire body followed
suite and swelled to beyond twice its normal size until it seemed
like he must burst. It was apparent that his indignation was too
much for him to endure and continue living at the same time.
"You people think you can move your entire household from America
not!"
His short burst of anger served as fuel for his feet and he
the normal fifty words of english, much like the taxi drivers,
only this time each word designed to heighten the tip. But then I
was a pitiful sight, and I was suddenly angry and stormed into the
17
while walking on the sidewalks dislike it when a stranger so much
there are others who while hunched over the steering wheel foam at
gingerly steer around them; then there are the people who react
but who knows. What ever the reason, ignoring me is the one tried
and true method to get my dander up. Usually I can control the
power; I am not, but because I had grown smart enough over the
But standing there I lost control for the first time in long
distance memory and stormed between the two men and screamed for
this the door man who had refused to help broke the standoff and
child who had just thrown a temper tantrum. Also his tone and
I had acted like a fool. So be it. Now be calm. This is what the
doing so I took a good long hard look at the name tag on his
shirt. J. Kernivich.
control of each thought and word, "And if you don't go out there
and cart the luggage into the hotel, I am going to write a story
about you. Such a story. It will stifle tourism until the thaw
next spring. What do you think? What will your party chairman
famous, I had written and still did, my share of stories and each
name above the byline. So not knowing this I didn't know whether
19
it was the press card or my name that snapped him to attention.
"Yes."
"No."
I left him hanging like this and spun on my heels and left
the hotel. Julie and Anna had questions in their eyes as they
bags and carried them to within a few feet of the front desk. I
did this repeatedly and by the time I was finished I was out of
breath. Julie had helped me with the lighter of the bags and now
stood behind me at the front desk. I was too out of breath to talk
room and pushed a key back across the marble counter. As I stepped
Her tone had been natural, almost like we were old lovers.
beginning to question, and the moment the clerk handed her a key
hooked my hand in the crook of her arm and lead her to the
elevator. I allowed the same bellman to carry our luggage onto the
tipping him at all and just growled at the son of a bitch and he
left in a hurry.
All I could say about the rooms is that they were crummy,
period. I had seen better in the flop houses in the old days
before the Bowery in New York City had been reincarnated into a
the night the roaches wouldn't come back out. Anna clung to my
hand while I said this. I don't think she believed me, but bravely
After dealing with the bellman and seeing the room I was leery
up for dinner.
21
I was mentally and physically exhausted and because of this
Scene one began when an hour later we went downstairs for dinner.
Julie had changed into a rust color dress that cascaded around her
ankles. She looked very beautiful and the other men in the dinning
room gave her more then a passing glance and I was proud to be
seen with her. Anna wore jeans and a pink halter. She looked very
young and happy and I knew that the other people in the dinning
room thought that I was her father and was pleased by this. The
menu was very simple; either fish and potatoes or steak and
potatoes. We each chose the fish dinner. As we waited for the food
only more exaggerated then before. Anna had carried her teddy bear
to the table. I inquired about the bear and Julie explained that
Anna's grandmother had given her the teddy bear before leaving
Iowa. I insisted that the teddy bear should have its own chair,
preferably a chair with a booster cube so the teddy bear could see
over the edge of the table. Anna giggled at this and said, "The
was huffy about her giggles and to prove my point went off in
english."
I knew the damn bear was stuffed, I, more to save face at this
point then anything else, went into the kitchen and explained to a
man wearing a tall white hat who I assumed to be the chef what I
required. But he had a very little grasp of english and this took
rather tattered booster cube. The other dinners from the bemused
them and positioned the teddy bear so it peeked just above the
edge of the table at us. Anna laughed at this and said that all
this trouble was a waste of time, "After all the bear wasn't
food. In between coy glances Julie and I settled into the kind of
Several times Julie instructed Anna to stop playing with her food.
23
From there on most of the conversation was designed to learn
was done through crooks and turns. I idly inquired, wrapping the
and explained. The luggage and bags represented the sum total of
her house in Dubuque. The duffle bag even held a full mainframe
saw a look on my face that said, "Why the hell didn't your husband
carry some of the luggage." Because she quickly added, "My husband
She shrugged at this, explaining that she had only had enough
irresponsible. And I didn't think too highly of him just then. But
Julie had mentioned that she was meeting her husband in Budapest.
I had accepted this readily enough, but also I had a hunch that
this wasn't her first marriage and that Mr. Newman was Anna's
my question.
lives in Dubuque."
Although that was the end of that, I felt a little bit sleazy
about the way I had set Anna up. And the sleazy feeling left a bad
the evils of smoking by Anna. The scolding made the sleazy part of
me feel better.
Anna had gone inside the room to check on roaches. Julie and I
25
"So did I," I replied.
"Well," I said.
away in New York, I thought of a thousand and one ways. They all
"There is no need."
"I...."
There are times when all the indecision in the world settles
from Anna and then they were gone, their door shut tight. I stared
at the door for a long time. I did so half hoping Julie would come
back into the hall and we would make love all night long in my
whether Julie was laying in bed thinking about me. The room was
had also been used. I had noticed this before dinner but hadn't
it. The pillow smelled of cheap perfume. And the sheet had a tell-
tell stain on it. There was also a coin on the end table. I
assumed the coin was left there as a tip for the maid.
before rejecting the idea. I was acting foolish. She was married.
Go to bed already.
darkness outside had the gritty before dawn quality to it. The
hotel held the point on a five corner junction. There were two
people sitting on the curb across the street from the hotel. They
probably worked the night shift at the hotel, and was waiting for
hello. But it was late. For all I knew they could be thugs. So I
kept walking. Within minutes I had half circled the five points of
the corners and came face to face with a stone fountain of the
27
the center of the fountain which in turn collected at the
guess it was because of the dark clothing he wore. But I did see
that I would have missed him entirely had it not been for his snow
unzipped his fly and relieved himself against the stone bricks
that made up the fountain. The bricks were cool from the water
held within the basin and the warm urine steamed. He next washed
his hands in the water, then in a single fluid motion preened his
seconds, he was satisfied that his mustache was clean and cupped
his hands, submerged them in the water, and in this fashion drank.
He dried his palms on his trousers then set off. He walked slow,
corner where the hotel was located, and cut up a side street, I
let him be and went inside. But I wished him a soft goodnight
of my mind.
sat up. I lit a cigarette and lay back on the pillow and blew
smoke rings at the ceiling and dwelled on him for a while. I was
an only child and if there was one person in my life who had
together for fifteen years and had during that time become very
good friends. But we had drifted apart. Well not so much drifted
29
apart, as torn apart. A thorn had come between us...of the female
history. He had met a woman, fell madly in love with her, and when
out in the ashtray and pulled the covers over me. As I drifted
off, I reflected on Daniel and how he had aggravated the hell out
I had met almost him twenty years ago during my rookie year
our late twenties at the time. Back than, to work for a wire
all the wire services in the country and was straight away
town caliber and as such would never rise to the big time. Right
about that time fate stepped in under the guise of my uncle Bobby.
Bobby sold lawn rakes to hardware stores and met a client who's
but I swear it's true; uncle Bobby traded fifty lawn rakes for a
position at U.P.I. And that's how I secured my first job in the
big time.
My first day on the job I was assigned to the rookie pool and
had met Daniel who was also a rookie. I related the story about
the lawn rakes, laughing at the idiocy of it. After I had finished
stating that each grunt who has sucked eggs has the right to bitch
all things home baked apple pies and was instantly envious. I had
The timber of his voice indicated this was the end of the
his reticence as something other then modesty, and was sure he was
31
more important stories to award honorable mentions to than damn
apple pies. And because my uncle Bobby had secured me the job, I
committee and had secured the honorable mention for him. Such is
But who cared about pies, right. I was in New York. I worked
for a major wire service. Who cared. Pies. Pulitzer. Big deal.
Well I cared about the damn pies, and for many months the thought
time and decided through sleuth and guile to weasel the truth out
of him. Like all rookies, we were assigned to cover the city desk.
The work at the city desk was grunt work, and mostly involved
jail. This task usually extracted an hour from an eight hour day,
and then the rest of the shift was devoted to idle conversation.
Mostly we discussed shop politics. But every now and then I would
put a different spin on the lawn rack story, and retell it. I did
never did. I even went so far as to packing apple pies for lunch.
But he didn't nibble at what I saw as the obvious. So one day out
him. We had become good friends by this time and I didn't bother
"It's simple," he explained, "I wrote what the old farm woman
said to me."
never talked about the pies again. But I learned a great deal
about Daniel then, and a great deal about envy and a great deal
33
Chapter Five.
opened it. The room was warm and cold crisp air quickly filled the
window and taking in a lung full of fresh air. I did this, I often
than that. I went to the window to see if the world was still
there. The world always was and I always felt reassured by this.
And the world was there on this morning. Not the New York City
world with its bustling get ready to work time of day unfolding
below me; but the Belgrade world with its bustling get ready to
passengers from street corners which only a few hours ago were
evening who had acted the make believe husband. True the eyes were
tired from too little sleep, but the slight arrogance shining
forth showed them to be sufficiently rested. Their was somebody
back behind the eyes. There was the senior editor of United Press
all else, was aware of his inner self. He was, to be blunt, a man
who got the job done. That was why he was a senior editor.
indulgent because this is what it was. I had been tired, yes, but
more then that I had rather enjoyed Julie's company from the start
fantasy world where playing house was the order of the day. A
white picket fence, a job pumping gas at the local station, and a
peck on the cheek upon arriving at home when the work day was
now. I did suppose the fantasy was harmless enough in itself; much
playboy model while making love to a woman who's body and mind had
long ago grown familiar is. But I wasn't the type of man who
day. The hour was late and the day would be hurried. A mad dash
with Julie and Anna in tow to the airport. The airport would be
35
crowded and we would be crammed aboard a commuter flight to
phoned Julie's room after showering. She had said she'd be ready
would grab a bite at the airport. Since I had time to kill, I went
half hour later I rapped on her door and after a few seconds her
and Anna appeared ready for the final leg of their journey. My
help noticing how radiant Julie looked. She wore a cotton dress,
and this could be told by the many natural wrinkles; and it gave
her a lit airy feel. In short she resembled a woman who had taken
one so young. And for an all too brief second I envied Anna her
37
youth with a melancholia that filled my entire body, a longing
you expect' upturned eyebrows from the adults at hand; but it was
Daniel for the second time in as many days. He had had the same
speak his mind innocence, only in a man his age it was often
Daniel like the one of envy expired quickly and the resolve I had
gained by the few hours of sleep, and the insight I had momentary
by the thought that Julie had waited for me to knock on the door
last night. The fair maiden had waited for the knight in shining
armor who had saved her from the terrible fate of the unknown. My
was a fool. I had not had the courage to knock on her door. I was
for a fantasy.
It was a moment later that I took stock of myself. I stepped
Julie had lain awake all night because she was excited about
and the emphasis was on the word 'just,' escorting Julie and Anna
again saw a woman with a child who was all dressed up to meet a
husband who she had traveled thousands of miles to see. I was also
relieved to see that Julie was red faced embarrassed by what Anna
had said and as such had not been privy to my inner thoughts.
with a cynical wit that had us all in stitches. His name was
look at the mound of luggage and his eyes rolled over in there
"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, me back."
By the time he dropped the bag onto a baggage cart, his moans
had reached a fever pitch loud enough to bring the maid darting
out of a room. She had a towel in her hand, and took one look at
39
the impish frown on his face and flung the towel so it hit his
chest.
there were bags, and by the time we headed for the elevator towels
Although it was almost eight in the morning and the sky was
clear and the sun was rising, as we exited the hotel a night chill
was evident in the air. The airport transfer bus was parked at the
curb. A long line of people waited to board it. Despite the chill,
for the driver to load Julie's baggage, she shivered from the
her shoulders. She then insisted that Anna dig a sweater out of
one of the bags. I seconded the idea. Anna wrapped her arms
herself and pouted between her teeth. She wasn't a little girl,
chatter but did so without detouring from the sights outside the
She and the teddy bear socialized; a tea party for two was in
progress.
was just as well. Soon she'd hold her husband in her arms. Yes, it
was just as well. My, the trees were nice. The leaves were
turning. God, fall was beautiful. Yes. It was nice this time of
year.
41
Chapter Seven.
conversation; thank you, and yes I would like a coke, and thank
picked up on this and like all wise kids attempted to weave silk
out of hay. She had spotted a huge stuffed giraffe at one of the
Duty Free shops and wanted it and made all the right fidgeted
purchasing the giraffe for her. Julie was against it and said as
much, very adamant too. I, like a fool insisted. Women have a way
to show when they are very angry without speaking a word, and
situation.
uncomfortable and dutifully went off and secured three cokes. But
a mere coke couldn't bridge the border we had crossed and the
turns sitting with Anna while the other prowled around the
terminal. I spent my time walking past and into the shop that had
while chiding myself at the same time that Julie was Anna's mother
and she certainly knew best. So each time I prowled the terminal I
went from the giraffe shop to the duty free cigarette shop and
cartons of cigarettes and was coming out of the Duty Free Shop
with carton number seven when I collided into Julie, who had
rushed into the shop to inform me the flight had been called.
Julie had been running and I had been walking backwards saying
thank you to the clerk who by this time loved me because I was
reflex born of god knows what, the gypsy woman opened her arms,
captured us both, and swiftly folded us into her bosom. And she
had a massive bosom too. So much so I almost choked on it, and was
gasping for air by the time she released us. She pointed at us and
43
at us, she backed away. I guess we looked confused, because she
darted back and kissed us both on the cheek, stepped back and
she was saying, more by her actions then her words. She saw I
time we had boarded most of the seats were already taken and
prayer for all the scared people in the world. And because I had a
warm spot in my heart for the gypsy lady, I hoped she was
pattern and bounced and skidded against the air currents. I guess
the elderly Hungarian woman didn't mind the turbulence because she
the aisle from her. I wanted to lit a cigarette but couldn't find
woman and what she had said about Julie and me, and suddenly a
ago a gypsy woman had said the same thing to Daniel and his
girlfriend. The gypsy woman had said this a few months before they
and the back of Julie's head so for the rest of the flight I
Daniel. At last I wondered what had become of him. The first few
years after we had gone our separate ways I had heard rumors about
carousing he had found Christ and to atone for his past sins had
forsaken the easy life and had become a missionary in the catacomb
yellow men who when not harvesting the opium poppy were busy
45
practicing the time honored tradition of dissecting the
Many years ago I had spent some time in the Asian triangle and
these little yellow men had no need of the Lord...they had the
stuff of white dreams. Now had someone told me that he was holed
in Vietnam. He had married a woman and was raising rice and kids.
hated kids. Then there was the rumor that he had blown his brains
this. Over the years I had heard many other rumors, all just as
silly and had always dismissed them out of hand. But I had also
believed the latter because the last time I had seen him, he had
International who had worked with us had retired, or had moved on.
For a while I still wondered about him from time to time, what had
become of him, but then a few years ago I stopped wondering about
editor had put a curtain on those memories. Right about the time I
new job entailed. So much so that eventually the old memories, not
just of Daniel but of other people I had worked with over the
47
Chapter Eight.
within minutes after landing, only Julie, Anna and I stood in the
on their desks. Julie had already had her passport stamped and was
other hand, was staying right there. It was my own fault. I had
secure an entrance visa. Julie knew this because I had told her as
much over dinner. She had mentioned at the time that she had
goodbye.
or lack of, I suddenly wanted to. I guess this was the barnyard
rooster in me. A rooster from the next barnyard over always wants
to meet the rooster next door, if only to rattle his feathers and
strut his stuff. I was no different. I had escorted Julie and now
wanted to satisfy my curiosity that the man she was meeting was
like this. I took a deep breath and thought, but end it must. So
make it brief.
"Well," I said.
into my pocket and withdrew the coin that had been left on the
"I found this. It's a good luck coin. If you need luck just
rub it."
straight face.
as well. The coin folded into her palm. She gave me a great big
49
"Julie," I said, "Things can happen in foreign countries.
"Yes. They hold your passport until you pay them for the
flight."
I hugged her.
This seemed to stump her. And I was relieved. Yet at the same
time I was hoping she would say, "I will wait for you in the
terminal. We can ride into Budapest together. This will give you a
For many reasons I really wanted her to say this. But instead
from the British embassy. Ask any cab driver for directions."
lost while watching Julie and Anna exit the custom area into the
anyplace else for that matter. She was just being kind. After all
51
Chapter Nine.
terminal. After all, the mound of luggage they had would slow them
down. And I did want to meet him. Hell, I figured I had earned
hoping she'd get the message. She was friendly enough and asked
there I knew by the look on her face that I had encroached upon
her kindness. Nobody likes these procedures. But she had attempted
angry at her. At myself, yes. So in the end I paid the visa fee
guarding my lone bag. I handed over the baggage claim check and
gypsy woman and was right now buried in her bosom. Maybe Julie was
held but a few people and I quickly saw she wasn't one of them. I
herself pretty for her husband. After traveling so far, she would
of been hurt and disappointed had he not met her at the airport.
But I really hadn't expected to find one. It was noon and this was
the slow time of day at most airports. The taxi drivers were
elected to take the bus into the city. I pretty much knew the
found without any trouble the bus stop. It was then, as I sat on
the bench waiting for the bus into the city that the mad dash from
53
my office in New York to the long flight to Budapest caught up to
could all wait until later, I concluded, right now I just wanted a
bed.
chilly, the day was very warm so I shed my sport coat and laid it
across my legs and settled back against the bench. I was sort of
eight hours when Joanne sat on the bench next to me. I didn't know
her name then, but did a few minutes later. She inquired as to
what time the city bus arrived. She had spoken in French and I
knew the language well enough to understand what she was asking.
the mood for conversation and this was the end of it as far as I
was concerned.
well."
This was too much, and I gave her a long inspecting glance.
thirties.
"Pardon me?"
"A woman said almost the same thing to me in Belgrade. I was
for my husband. He's off searching for a taxi. But there doesn't
"Explains what?"
"It does?"
"Yes."
"Just cities."
I had been joking, but she was serious and I replied, "I
see."
55
"Yes, yes of course. Sorry. I was trying to be nice. The
American in me I suppose."
She was very chipper, very upbeat, very hyper. And sincere.
to end there. But a moment later when her husband arrived grinning
much taller then she and had a soft friendly face. Yes, he said.
The ride into the city was short, twenty minutes at best, but
during this time we exchanged names and small talk. They were Jack
and Joanne Trecill. They were on their way to Paris. They had an
apartment in Paris and spent a month there every year. But now
Well this just wouldn't do, Joanne replied. Why, I could stay
with them. They had an entire flat. Six rooms. They had secured
the flat before leaving the states. I must stay with them. It
morning.
throw from the Danube, and the American and British Embassies. The
food in the cupboards and ice box. There were three bedrooms and I
hour sharing coffee and sandwiches that Joanne had made and
conversation with Jack and Joanne. During this time we got to know
each other a little better. And I learned that at one time Jack
she said. Just boring. As for me, I rattled off a few interesting
57
already told her. A short time later I excused myself and retired
stuck on her. A few hours sleep would cure this state of mind, I
knew, but therein lied the catch; the state of mind I was in
hours pouring over my notes for the series of interviews with the
I fell into a dead like sleep for a full fourteen hours and
the deep rest mended the fractured spirit within me. I felt this
if the world had survived the night. I was mildly annoyed when the
the morning air. I did this several times, each breath cool and
notice the world about me. A courtyard faced me, and from an
bed. She was naked. The bald dome of a man's head appeared for a
second before falling away out of sight. She laughed, and walked
out of view. I stared for a while, hoping to see her again. But
all I saw was the man's bobbing appearing and disappearing head.
59
expecting to find Jack or Joanne. A pot of coffee sat warming on
the stove. Attached to the handle was a note: Gone sight seeing.
Left coffee on the burner and french toast warming in the oven.
The coffee and the french toast and the note were a pleasant
decided right then to take Jack and Joanne up on their offer and
spend the week in the apartment. The coffee was part of the reason
for the decision, but also because they were nice unobtrusive
people. They could have stuck around and talked my head off
arrangements I had made before leaving New York, the first had
office was in either Moscow or Paris. Once the office was set up,
went to my bedroom window. The woman who I had seen earlier now
stood on the balcony. She was without clothing. She had her hands
planted on her hips while doing knee bends and was totally
unabashed about her nudity and offered me a full smile. She had a
lean fit body and it was a pure joy watching her exercise. She
the frame and the window. I imagined I looked rather silly stuffed
and sticking out the window, but in the best 'I am a male so what
61
A bend of her knees. "From America?"
"Yes."
A soft bend off her knees. Before springing up she took her
left hand off her hip and waved it in the air, motioning to show
She was standing by this time and was again on her way down
and without missing a beat touched a hand to her left breast and
"What?"
"Ovoce."
inside the apartment. Very firm twin half moons were the last
sight I had of her. A man's hand, firm and hairy, reached up and
grabbed a half moon and pulled it down. Whoever said that you
can't reach for the moon and pull it down was wrong, I thought.
The unseen man reminded me of Julie. I idly wondered how she
had fared with her reunion with her husband; remembered I was
agenda. After all I said I would meet her and on the off chance
anyway.
63
Chapter Eleven.
facades. Even in the daytime the sleepy fog crawling off the
Danube often gave the streets an erie feel. But there were plenty
of trees, and fall was in full bloom, and the leafs were painted a
deep red, high yellow, and rusty brown. So despite the gloominess
Although the embassy lay a few blocks away, I took the long way
and strolled along Szechenyi walk which followed the Danube river.
I thoroughly enjoyed the walk. Although the day was warm a cool
was glad to see the city lay pretty much unchanged since the last
Budapest was a very old city. Old cities seldom changed like new
years of archaic communist rule. But one change I did notice was
the people. I had walked through the streets of many countries
passed on the street were not afraid at all. Their eyes met you
sure, but there was also something else. It wasn't until I reached
the Embassy that I thought I knew what this was. Pride. Proud to
period.
And right then I had my first dispatch to the states. And the
opening line came to me. "The vail of fear lifted, the people blah
blah blah."
long forgotten the moment the dishes are washed and the morning
brimming over with words and ideas. The blah blah blah's were
forming into a nice two paragraph piece. Writing was and will
always be like that. One moment calm the next a storm. The best of
for sure tearing their hair out, each plucked hair a word on the
paper. Yet the best of writers eyes shine with utter joyful
65
madness when their mind is torn asunder with ideas. They write at
good writer, too analytical for my own taste, I had plied the
trade long enough to recognize my mind kicking into high gear and
into the press room. The room held three desks, two facing the
could see the street below and the people walking. I imagined I
that would feed the copy through to the New York bureau. This done
desk playing desk jockey hadn't diminished the old groove. But I
was a senior editor not some green rookie out on his first
before dispatching it and was doing so when the door opened. I was
lost in what I was writing and didn't want to glance up, but did
so, just for a moment to see who it was. It was Daniel. I was so
67
Chapter Twelve.
As the room was small, I know he saw me. But even so, he
feigned indifference and staked out the only other desk facing the
few of its contents from the bag onto the desk. This took all of
about three minutes. The last thing he removed from the bag was
six bottles of Wild Turkey bourbon and two plastic glasses of the
sported the same unruly head of brown hair. And the same impish
half grin rested on his lips. And even wore the same brown leather
flight jacket he had had on the last time I had seen him.
Admittedly the leather was a bit cracked and faded and the nylon
charm. This jacket wasn't the kind the beautiful people paraded
the real thing. Years ago a F-15 attack pilot in Vietnam had
presented him with the jacket. Days later, the pilot was shot down
some ice when the suspense, joy and curiosity spilled out of me.
"And such."
"Who?"
Using the three finger method, I tried to peck at the keys and the
lost now and all I saw were disjointed sentences, and flat dull
words. I sighed, saved what I had and shut the computer off. As I
stared out the window at the people below, I told myself that one
69
should never think when writing, not really think. And I was
thinking too much. I was thinking about the rumors. I was thinking
about Julie. But most of all I was thinking about how hurt I was
staring out the window and the reflection of the bucket showed in
the glass. Through the reflection in the glass I watched him toss
a few ice cubes in one of the plastic glasses. He next lifted one
thought. Years ago when Daniel and I had first started out, I had
senior editor. I had not done so because I had moved up the career
ladder, but because a few weeks earlier a good friend of mine had
and inch by inch, I realized for the first time that the myth was
there was a game playing out, and had been since the first moment
he had walked in. I couldn't rush it. Like a runaway train, the
long inspecting nod, "Okay, you're angry." he said, "So lets say
for the sake of the argument that I neglected to call you because
I didn't want to queer it for you. You know, senior editor and
all. How would it look, huh? You hiring a washed up reporter for
the most important news story to come around the bend since the
running around the world like grunts. They stay in the office and
issue the orders. Besides, after all this time I figured you for
For the first time since walking into the office and seeing
shift his expressions to fit the circumstances. But his eyes had
71
shifted; not much, just enough for me to notice. By what he said
you."
"Well?"
I spun the chair and propped my feet up on the desk and glared at
him.
"And such."
"Bull shit. I've covered Asia all these years. You know,
working my way down the ladder of success. Seems each job I get is
a rung down from the last job. I called in an old favor to get
this assignment."
"No."
suddenly very angry and very insulted by what he had just said and
damn near sprang up and punched him. But I was prohibited from
"Just scuttlebutt."
You know how scuttlebutt goes. No matter how you may see yourself
life. The sudden thought that it was I, not him, was too unnerving
journalism and management, I had acted the fool since leaving New
York. So perhaps Daniel was right. Senior editors have gray hair,
73
At this last thought, I met his eyes. He met mine in return.
I think mine were sad. I know his were guilty and knew why. We
were, or at the very least had been, good friends. And he had just
Had any other man said this I would have punched him and damn
But still, I thought, that maybe he was taunting me. But I saw in
his eyes that he wasn't. He was stating the truth as far as he saw
"Same."
"No. Figured I'd find a place when I got here. Otherwise I'd
Prague. E'Tu?"
met a couple while waiting for the bus. They're from Florida. Jack
He flashed a face.
wistfully out the window while murmuring, "Old times. Sure, old
times."
voice. And he was thinking about her, I was sure. And although I
was still more then a little hurt that he hadn't asked me for the
statement, I had been there when his life had come unraveled and
into the room. He was dressed in ivory league clothes and had a
75
Chapter Thirteen.
throw Daniel and I together again after years apart. In this case
the advent of the kid walking into the room conspired to take
"Hi, my name is Peter Williams. The man at the desk said this
E. F. C."
Peter was a very very ernest young man. This much was
"No."
The kid truly looked alarmed. "Professors from all over
me to cover it."
"Well Kid," Daniel said, "Grab a desk. Take a load off your
allergic to smoke."
"Indianapolis Indiana."
"Really?"
President Dan Quayle himself. You see, a couple of years ago the
Dan Quayle, and sold the Vice President on the idea. The contest
77
"If I follow you correctly, "Daniel replied, "And I am not
sure I do, but if I do, than you were selected from a pool of
over a thousand students and you didn't find this a bit strange."
But..."
expense, and were still doing so much to his chagrin when events
once again conspired. Ernest Hemingway, and not the real one but a
the oppressed minority. The women ate this up. I supposed his plea
awakened their own white guilt. Or maybe they just wanted to save
living in the suburbs. But I can't speak for the women. But I can
promptly saw through the game and called him on it and he just as
quickly gave the game up. But my detest went beyond his wanting to
get laid. To be sure that was his business, and theirs. He was as
played the loudmouth jerk, and played it well. This was why I
work for the National Enquirer. The pay was good. Job security was
But still I was surprised to see a bald spot run through his
hair and it made me think of my own thinning hair. This only made
79
Chapter Fourteen.
sonofabitch!"
falsetto boomed.
"They must of known you were coming and set up a desk in the
gutter," I answered.
replied.
press and the embassy. No name. Just his title. So out loud I
it was the do's and do not' of Hungary. Do pay the fare on the
trams and buses and subways. The fare is only two Forints, which
is about four cents U. S. The fine for not paying the fare is two
not and do not and and and and and. And Daniel tossed it in the
metal garbage can that rested in the far corner. Hemingway did
us."
"Yes." I replied.
81
"A desk will be brought in."
here!"
many years ago. We had always played off each others thoughts and
feelings. The snappy comebacks showed this had not changed. I felt
in almost perfect sync, did likewise and followed me out the door.
The last thing I heard was the kid muttering, "I'm allergic to
smoke."
Chapter Fifteen.
confines of home. Such was the case with Daniel and I. And I
street onto Lenin Kart. But I had been strolling along in a quiet
solitude. I was thinking about Daniel and the missing years, and
the present and the world about me and I immediately saw that our
feet had carried us to the New York Cafe. Daniel noticed this at
the same time and we both let loose a short laugh, more a snort
really. We had frequented the New York Cafe years ago when first
assigned to Budapest. At the time the New York Cafe was the in
journalists both flocked to the Cafe. The whiskey was warm. The
83
especially while drunk. I seemed to remember that the women loved
him.
you."
Many years ago when I had first set foot in the Cafe, the
frequented the Cafe often since that first visit and truly
coliseum. A Parents house. The cafe was one such place. The Cafe
was built over a hundred years ago and stepping through the doors
period when gentlemen roamed the earth and women wore hats
statues. But the Cafe was much more then ornate woodwork and
crumble, two world wars to end all wars, the communist revolution,
and scores of writers and artists from Picasso to the real not the
fake Hemingway.
From the moment I entered, I immediately felt this sense of
place. And a quick look around told me the Cafe had basically
here and there, and dust layered the crystal chandeliers. But the
Cafe itself was the same. A home away from home. A port in the
storm. Unlike many others, both people and architecture, the cafe
around me, I wouldn't of bet the family farm on it. The poverty of
demanded it. A wise entrepreneur would clean the place up; paste
regrown toes on the statues, sand the floor, and add a coat of
paint, and adorn the walls with plaques of all the famous men and
women who had frequented the cafe over the years. Tourists would
come and ogle the plaques and upon returning home boast and and
bartender came our way, Daniel immediately asked him about Laz. As
85
"Yes. A long time ago."
"Americans?"
"Yes,"
mineral water. Laz had been a jolly man, even the austerity of
hadn't carried Wild Turkey for years. Cost too many Forints to
this. After Stan brought the whiskey, we repeated the toast. This
time it seemed more from the heart. I said so. Daniel agreed.
Still the whiskey was bitter going down. I wasn't sure if this was
comrades. After going through the list of who had retired, and who
had grown tired of the correspondent game and had taken a desk job
Mascone. He shook his head no. I explained that Paul had succumbed
Long ago Daniel and Ted and I had worked together on the city
folded them and lay them at the foot of the bed. He went to the
bathroom and set the shower mat on the floor by the toilet. He sat
on the toilet and positioned his lips over the twin barrels of a
shotgun so the blast would blow upward and behind him instead of
directly against the wall and blew his brains out. A parisian maid
entered the room to change the towels and found a naked headless
understandably upset."
87
Chapter Sixteen.
Twenty minutes later, we left the Cafe for the press briefing
already had an interview set up. Besides I was depressed about Ted
to become more then just a general pain in the ass who disliked
where a man from the Hungarian Cultural exchange was on the stage
salad days. But I was not surprised. The fall of communism was big
news.
The kid gestured at two empty chairs lodged between him and
Hemingway.
"Sure."
Hemingway's left and I next to the kid, that he had saved the
chairs for us, through much peril too, even going so far as to
But it wasn't, and because I sat next to him I was the sole
lecture, the kid whispered in my ear about how sorry he was about
him, he could live with it. After all he was a journalist now. And
89
of the New York bureau of a major news service. Must be a mighty
outside.
urge. He was young and would want to explore this strange place
"I left my bag at the embassy," Daniel said, "I'll walk you
back."
and lead the kid up the block away from the University.
Chapter Seventeen.
I was still very upset about Ted Smith and back in the office
savoring the warm feeling growing within me. But still, I couldn't
shake the sight of Ted doing himself the way he did. He had hated
violence and was while alive very squeamish about the sight of
blood, even his own. Sitting there, I flashed back to 1982 and
Third, and had involved two cars and although none of the
sipping beer when I mentioned the blood, and the mere mention of
it had sent his eyes fluttering and him into a fainting swoon. He
But maybe this is the way a man goes; he takes the hounding
life long dog fear by the throat and laughs right into those
liaison between the press and the embassy. I had almost finished
91
the drink and had worked myself into a deep funk and greeted them
Sam Hopkins of Houston, Texas. He had spoke very loudly and added
in the same voice and breath, "And yes indeed I sure would like a
I didn't.
into a glass. Daniel did likewise and sat at his desk. Sam took a
sip, smacked his lips and said cynically, "I love America."
The comment was bait, but I was foolish enough to bite at the
I flashed Daniel a look that said, "Where did you find this
guy?"
"Yeah, I get your drift," Sam answered, reading our faces "I
ran some bucks into a string of oil wells. The bucks were borrowed
and the wells were dry. But still you are worth in America what
you owe and for a while I was king of the sheep. The blond babes.
I could tell you stories. Your third leg would blush. But all
pass, and like a hungry wolf pack the bill collectors lined up and
the blond babes fled. My ex-wife's lawyer led the pack. I said
bah, an old Uncle sent me here." He winked, "It don't hurt to have
an Uncle in Washington."
much louder than necessary at his little joke about the Uncle in
But this cartel was extremely conservative and it was obvious that
press?" I asked.
"Not a wit."
"Really?"
Daniel in the hall; this much was obvious. He had also taken to
Daniel right away, which was not surprising since Daniel had a
sure of me. He had spoken off the cuff and was ready to gauge my
response. Like I said I was a little bit high from the booze and
considered making him squirm, but rejected the idea. I had met men
like him before. They didn't squirm. They met you at a bar and
93
bought you a drink and waited for you to buy the next round. If
you didn't buy the next round then you failed their idea of the
litmus test and there was no second chance; not with men like him.
office. Sam sat in a chair and propped his feet on the desk.
Daniel poured himself another drink. I had decided that the few
history. Sam had worked at the embassy for two years and expected
He's only worked at the Embassy for a few weeks. Takes his duties
Daniel and I related our stories and when finished Sam's feet
nice talking to you boys. But I have to get back to work. The
embassy is putting together a press pool departing in the morning
know, see how they like the capitalistic way. You interested?"
sharing memories was how it started. The moment Sam asked this,
and I to work together again; like the old days. In my defense had
I known that Hemingway and the kid were going, I would have
declined. But at the time I wasn't aware of this and replied sure.
arms as he lifted his glass and downed the last of the whiskey.
For a few minutes Daniel and I passed small talk about the
apartment; The kind of people Jack and Joanne were; middle class
with a touch of spice, was there room enough for his own room; and
95
Chapter Eighteen.
With Daniel and Sam gone, I should have had the computer on,
moment they had left, the office seemed strongly quiet and instead
the end the reliving of such tales just made one sad or at the
But I didn't feel at all like working. But I was a senior editor
said that I was playing the fool. Julie had been a nice diversion
during a long grueling flight. But I was here. There was work to
But I had drunk my share and told the voice where to go.
97
Chapter Nineteen.
mother always preached. She was correct too. Had I not been
well going to do, then I would have left well ahead of Hemingway.
I had already mentioned, I had a keen distaste for the man. The
the ceiling intensified the distaste. Ted had lived his life as a
"Yes. Was it you who turned the kid on about Daniel and
"Same as you."
"No, you're here because your editor see's Eastern block
women."
"Why you?"
"So why are you here? Hey mister big time senior editor."
"I am curious, how did you ever get the name Ernest?"
"Help any?"
"Literary, huh."
hammer and sickle, this whole region is up for grabs. There's even
rumors Ceausescu's about to bite the dust. If you and I team up,
"Not likely."
"Yes. I am here for the same reason as you. Hey, the kids a
washout. He'll wind up writing for some small town rag about
99
apple-pies and two pound pumpkins. Daniel, well, okay, so you like
him. But he hasn't written shit since that broad left him. And he
isn't going to write anything worth a tinkers damn now. But you
Enquirer. You, hell you can write your own ticket. Teach at
"Really?"
"Really."
Did Julie show? No. But I hadn't really expected her too. But
thoughts, I marveled at the weather. The sky was clear and a warm
breeze carried off the Danube. Perfect. Just like yesterday. Then
I'd think how Ted liked days like this. And I'd be back at where I
started.
my first cup of coffee in this fashion and was well into my second
decision. One moment Ted was there in my head and the next my
sport jacket was draped over the back of my chair and I was
hunched over the note pad and thinking and writing and munching on
101
years and conditioning took over, and Ted was regulated to the
distant past. He'd live there now but not alone, safe in the
living rooms of my mind. Every now and then I would visit him;
cry. During the long absences apart we wouldn't miss each other so
I had worked for about an hour when I lay pencil and reading
glasses aside and looked around me in the way one does after
the outside tables when I had first arrived. But now only myself
and another woman who sat well away from me were there. The table
I occupied was near the door to the cafe, and two waiters,
closest to the door of the cafe. For a moment I watched her with a
note pad.
up the pencil and began writing down what they said to each other.
Months later back in New York, I stumbled across these notes and
103
"I like this time of day when the lunch customers have left
and before the dinner crowd arrives better than any other," the
"Well it is not."
The old waiter was about to answer when the girl waved her
mouthed.
stood and went to the hot plate set up on a table along the wall
of the cafe and carried the pot over to where she sat. He bent
over at the waist and poured coffee into her cup, careful not to
fill the cup so that coffee spilled on the tablecloth. When the
cup was full, she smiled up at him in thanks. He said nothing and
abruptly returned the pot to the hot plate, and went and stood
"But were I to be lazy," the old waiter said right off, "I
raised.
street. The driver of the carriage tipped his top hat at the
"Yes."
The old waiter nodded as if what the young waiter had said
years. The tips are good. But yes to see is also good. But watch
"No, the girl," the old waiter snorted, waving his hand in
annoyance.
105
The young waiter glanced at her. She was engrossed in what
"And you have much to learn about women," the old waiter
stated, "and that one is a thief. She steals hearts. I would not
at them at night, laughing, I am sure. See now. You see how she
looked at you?"
"See, you do have much to learn about women. She looks at all
"She looks at all men like that. I know," the old waiter
answered pointedly, "She has given me this same look. She has
"I know the customers who come in here," the old waiter said,
his voice on the point of anger. "You don't. You are young. You
She has dated many men who come to the cafe! They talk about her!"
"No!"
"Why not?"
"I can not say because what a customer says should be held in
confidence, "The old waiter responded, his face now red with
anger, "And you do best to learn this or you will not be a waiter
one! She has dated many men who come here! This should tell you
something!"
The old waiter was too angry to speak, and marched into the
cafe. The young waiter called after him. But the old waiter stayed
inside the cafe with his back to him. Right then the woman stood
and placed the note pad into her purse. A sparrow swooped down
from one of the tree branches and perched on the chair she had
the sparrow. The sparrow chirped. She swept the crumbs from the
107
plate onto the ground. The sparrow jumped from the chair to the
ground and pecked at the crumbs, trapped a few between its beak
and flew away. The girl let out a half laugh and walked up the
street.
Chapter Twenty Two.
I thought about Julie while at the same time thinking about the
scene at the cafe between the two waiters. Did the conversation
sure.
109
Chapter Twenty Three.
was a tall elderly gentleman, gray hair and shining blue eyes.
rushed to a liquor cabinet and from a dark green bottle poured two
the tumblers into my hands. He lifted his glass and drank while
all the while smiling down at me. I guessed this was some sort of
get acquainted ritual and did likewise, while all the time looking
up at him and waiting for him to put the glass down. But he drank
with a vigor of a man half his age and began scribbling on a pad
of paper. I was still choking down the last of the wine when he
pushed the pad of paper across the desk. Drinking the wine so
quickly stung my eyes and they were a bit watery, but even so I
managed to make out what was written there because of the wide
rather poetic touch of irony and said so. But of course I had
from him. He stood, went to the liquor cabinet and carried the
behind the desk and sat. He fixed a silly grin on me. This grin
belonged on a five year old kid who had just won a treasure trove
I tore off the top page and wrote my name down and pushed the
111
He nodded, tore the top page off, scribbled, and when
finished pushed the pad across the desk at me. I looked at what he
down first on the pad of paper, then sliding the pad across the
he'd hang his head over the pad and furiously scribble, then push
the pad back across the desk all the while laughing; laughing as
wine glass twice during this time and I out of a desire to meet
this happily smiling man soul to soul did likewise and would have
drivel B. Drivel A followed his career and went as so. "You are
years. What did you do before this. And so on and so on. '
I had to agree.
"We will be hungry for a while," he wrote, "as we are now and
have been for many years and then we will be prosperous for a
while, and then the wolf will once again visit our door and hunger
will follow. It is the way. You see a little hunger feeds the soul
and the soul when fed reaches out for new roads; ah but prosperity
feeds the body, and when the body is fat and lazy so is the
with him. For a second we sat like that. There was no laughter
now. Just the black pools of his eyes inspecting the brown pools
of mine. Slowly his lips creased, and his eyes sparkled, and right
saying, "Hey I know its all crap, but it plays well and its what
the people want to hear and its true. And this is my job. Too
remind them of this truth. Not too loud you understand. And not
too soft, you understand. And not to stick around too long you
113
I did and smiled to show as much. He abruptly stood and
spoke english. After all, if you can write it you can speak it.
world will watch and feel sorry for the poor oppressed Hungarians.
retire to my study and talk. Just you and I. Talk as men, no."
should of done the moment I walked in. Well, I told myself, there
man?"
well the country is much better anyway. The wine is fresh, and the
women are well fed and a well fed woman is a happy woman."
"Just so too."
"Yes."
rudeness."
"No need," He replied, and bounded from behind the desk and
Yes. Do so."
115
Chapter Twenty Four.
the only person in the office and glad of it. I had work to do and
the time I left for the apartment. On the way home I once again
walked along the Danube river. The air was cooler than it had been
docked below. Waterfowl traced the water around it. By the looks
of the moorings the ship was permanently docked. A sign above the
was in english. The ship was lit up like an Italian christmas tree
and the bells and whistles from slot machines and laughter carried
Information. A sad old happy man. I felt sorry for him. He was a
getting what he had wished for was stuck in the position he had
The rest of the way home I thought about Daniel. I had had a
full day and was looking forward to a quiet dinner at the New York
Cafe while conversing with him about old times. Also since he had
just arrived in Budapest and hadn't had time to form his own
dispatching the story shares the meat of the story with journalist
using the same story, it's not. There is often more then one
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Chapter Twenty Six.
sat at the kitchen table. A half empty bottle of Johnny Walker Red
rested on the table between them. They didn't notice me. They both
meeting of minds and right now were toasting each other raucously.
The lighting was dimmed and in the soft glow they looked very
Well, I thought, the best laid plans of mice and men and all
dinner at the New York Cafe. I should have known better. Daniel
the evening hours. And he had obviously been charming Jack and
honey!"
"Yes," Joanne called out from bedroom, "You know Jack and I
of them at home."
Daniel and me, "I was just telling Daniel that the New York Time's
He had told me the other day that his business was located in
Daniel's eye. But he was busy reading the label on the Scotch
served meant he was really far gone. Daniel had always hated
Scotch; would never touch it, said the stuff tasted like sheep
piss; besides it left you with a mean head the next morning. So I
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soothed this decision by telling myself that whiskey and men and
talking go together like steak and eggs and hash browns. And it
seemed like I was partaking of the same meal all day so what was
me to clang a few cubes of ice from the bowel next to the whisky
his story but only managed to utter a few words before Joanne came
out from the bedroom and laid an arm on his shoulder while at the
"No."
"Damn shame," Jack said, "Saw her on the plane. Nice looking
lady."
Jack announced.
toward me on his elbows to show as much. But Jack was not about to
be denied the story and imitated Daniel by leaning forward on his
"So you see Joanne and I are in the Virgin Islands for the
sights. We wanted to see what the average tourist doesn't see and
told him as much fully knowing he's gonna take us to see things
every tourist since the Spaniards landed has seen. But who cares,
snap a few pictures while all the time the guide is smiling and
mystical spice. The morning tide washes the spice ashore from far
far and deep deep out in the ocean. According to him, the spice
was magic. Rotten fish. No problem. Add the spice and presto the
fish was fresh again and tasted ahhhhhhhhhh so good. So I ask him
how can I obtain this spice. So, sorry, he grins, the Spaniards
you know. They wanted gold. There was no gold. Chief Bboiou said
as much. The Spaniards thought the good Chief lied and tortured
Spaniards were so greedy they dredged the ocean floor and loaded
all the spice onto ships and took it back to Spain. The people
mourned the loss for many years. The story was rot, of course. But
121
an idea came to me. Create a spice mixture. Box it. Retell the
story about the Spaniards and the Chief on the box and sell it
realize at the time was that it was a natural. The back to nature
craze had just sprang up. I cleaned up. For four years. But I grew
the states you see. But that is another story. Anyway after my
how seven generations of my family, going all the way back to the
Mayflower, lived and died in Vermont. All true too. Not that I go
Live in Vermont long enough and you learn that almost everybody in
spice business we operated out of our kitchen. Just the two of us.
Joanne and I. Well we had a gross of the packages with the 'The
Spice," labels printed up and glued the labels around the gross of
boxes bearing 'The Original Native Virgin Island Spice,' and took
the spice. He consented and straight away put a few dozen packages
important. The second thing I learned was never entrust your fate
over the country. Well to make a long story short, Proctor and
than I, when Joanne came into the kitchen carrying a black leather
her way. As she was a small woman, under ninety pounds, the
"I don't mean to interrupt you men, but this is not my bag."
123
Jack was a bit cockeyed and showed as much by sticking his
nose against the bag. "Nope. Looks like your bag. But it's not."
at the airport. Call the airlines in the morning. Whoever has your
"You look good in anything," Jack yelled out. But his face
doesn't give a hoot about the bag but who wants to comfort his
with Jack gone. I don't know if it was the whiskey or what, but
like in the office when I was alone with Daniel, I felt the past
she's so upset about the garment bag. I invited them both out to
"Yeah," I answered.
"You met the woman of your dreams on the plane ride over?" he
asked.
"No."
125
I realized immediately I had gone too far. A friend should
"Yes," he replied, "And yes, I saw the way you were looking
dead."
Old friends are the most difficult too fool. There are numerous
subtle nuances that give the truth away; a sideways glance that
refuses to meet the eyes, talking into one's drink, speaking too
fast so the tongue trips over the teeth, a nervous tick such as
And I searched for all these signs that he was lying, or fooling
arm.
always had an easy laugh. An easy smile. And an easy way to break
the tension. He had lost all of this when M. had left him, and
although the broad ready smile was apparent when he had first
old times. So I explained how I had met Julie. I added that on the
way back from the Cafe Gerbeaud, I had reasoned out I was being a
fool. Not just a fool but a sentimental fool. Julie and I, if the
pun can be excused, were two ships passing in the night. And as
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Chapter Twenty Eight.
Before we left for the New York Cafe, I checked for the woman
with the great ovoce. The apartment across the ways was dark and
the balcony was empty. But a Gull rested on the railing. The Gull
blinked at me.
Chapter Twenty Nine.
The New York Cafe was wall to wall people, which was in
direct contrast to a few hours earlier when Daniel and I had had
at the Karl Marx university were there, and Daniel and I passed a
few hello's and glad to see you handshaking with them before
moving off to find a vacant table. The moment we were seated, Stan
hurried over to the table. He had a white towel draped over his
right arm and a broad smile of friendship on his face. The smile
seemed to glow as he ran the towel over the table brushing the few
his face. I had seen the same look on many a bartender from here
weren't. I could now get drunk and make a fool out of myself and
Stan would take my side and save me from being pummeled, pour me
rapid and sudden elevation. Maybe it was because the Scotch I had
129
drunk at the apartment was affecting me. Or maybe it was the old
was so upset about my garment bag I forgot to ask about Julie. Are
all, was painful. I was at the cafe to have a good time. But
longer mattered when Daniel leaned across the table while pointing
"Really?"
Daniel and I had worked together long ago. But like Daniel, I
hadn't seen her for many years. But I had always liked her. She
was a real person. I stood and gave her a great big warm hug.
Daniel followed suit. She asked if she could join us for a few
to have her join us. She did. As she sat, Stan, the smiling
bartender, returned with our drinks and took her order of a Jim
doing here?"
She had always had a devil may care laugh and quickly
whet Jack and Joanne's appetite. They hooted. They just had to
hear this story. It sounded just too precious. Oh yes please tell
us.
tied around my leg while the other end was looped around the head
of a very large water buffalo. The water buffalo was dead. I had
worked a long hard day and at night had fallen into a sound sleep
and had awoke the next morning to find myself tied to the water
add, on my forearm.
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"You like being a victim, huh?" she cooed.
voice. "I do not. And you haven't changed much over the years.
And she was too. But it was the life she had chosen a long
time ago and now reveled in it. She was also beautiful. Oh, not in
magazines. But in the way most mature women were who had
my chair just to show that she had achieved the desired effect.
But still her breast stayed put. I never thought I would be happy
to see Hemingway and the kid. But when they appeared, thus saving
passed over the table. Her eyes instantly traded in the teasing
banter for a rock hard coldness. She flung more then lifted the
lingered.
"Oh goodie," Joanne said, obviously a bit tipsy from the
and the kid to join us. Hemingway was a nervy bastard, and of
quickly rattled off a few verses from 'The Old Man And The Sea."
133
Hemingway winked at Jack to show he was only fooling. At
first I wasn't sure Jack had picked up on the wink, but knew he
motion of his head. But right then Stan brought Katrina's drink,
acting like the host, stood and draped an arm around Stan and
after asking what Stan had served Katrina, ordered the same for
enchanted Joanne by rattling off bits and pieces from the real
versus booze; I heard Daniel say that the morning after headache
that booze gave you lasted but a few hours whereas the headache a
woman gave you could last a life time; Katrina countered by saying
that she could say the same for men. As fate would have it, I got
stuck talking to the kid. He had taken a few sips of his mineral
water for courage before asking me right off all earnest like if
"Really?"
company."
I chafed at the way he had put, 'old timer,' but replied,
"Green?"
"Yes."
"Yes," I replied
causing the commotion. They were both men, and argued loud enough
second man.
"No, no," the first man answered, "I am telling you that the
"I knew who they are," I answered rather off handily, "One
guy works for the French press. The other the Israeli news agency.
"Oh?"
135
"Yes?"
"But."
between the two men. The argument had grown rather heated and I
saw out of the corner of my eye that Daniel and Katrina were doing
my point you need only to stop by the cultural museum and view the
"I have seen the show," the Israeli replied, "And my question
point?"
The Frenchman motioned angrily for Stan and I took the moment
"It's my girl."
"She says," I replied, cutting him off, "a white picket fence
I had kept a half an eye on the two men while the kid spoke.
After Stan had served their drinks the two men had resumed their
arguing. I had missed the first few words, but the Israeli stood
now with his glass in his hand and yelled something over and over.
when the Israeli set his drink on the table and took out a handgun
Frenchman.
obvious.
137
"My point," the Israeli replied and replaced the gun from
where it had come. He finished off his drink and left the cafe.
Before the argument had began, the cafe had been buzzing pockets
the room. Now everyone stared at the Frenchman. I had no idea what
fisticuffs win back his lost honor. Others, I am sure, just wanted
him to stay put. The Frenchman did the latter and finished off his
people in the cafe turned away. The gesture took a great deal of
But his girl was forgotten. "The Israeli could of shot him,"
Up until then, Katrina hadn't really noticed the kid. But she
It seemed like the scene had sobered Joanne because when she
spoke it was in a clear tone. "He wouldn't of really shot the man.
Would he?"
The scene stole the festiveness from the evening, and after
surrendered and headed for the apartment. Before leaving Jack and
while waiting for them. After the smoked filled air of the Cafe,
the evening air was refreshing. Katrina and the kid were nowhere
and how happy the people seemed. A few seconds later, I discovered
through Hemingway that he and the kid had been invited to attend
the day trip in the morning. It seemed like Sam's gopher had
invited them. Hemingway had engineered it, I was sure. The gopher
probably had the National Enquirer sent to him. He looked like the
kind.
139
Displeasure crossed my face, and if Hemingway noticed he was
reason enough. But also because Daniel and I had stayed up going
over the interview with Mr. Information until almost dawn and I
had only managed a few hours sleep. We had spent a great deal of
cuss, and hadn't changed a bit. But I too was a stubborn cuss. So
yelled and softly banged on the kitchen table and in the end
arrived at a version that suited both of us. Since the arguing was
bed wondering why. I lay there for so long wondering why that I
141
Jesus, I muttered out loud, I had a busy day ahead and didn't
I slid off the bed and went to the window. Another wonderful
day greeted me. The sky was clean, and the sun blazed high
Jack and Joanne weren't there and I figured they had gone sight
seeing.
"Morning," he mumbled.
Ah, I thought, here sits a man carrying his head in his arms
and only a few seconds ago I wanted to be like that. Well, better
apartment. Before doing so, I checked the balcony. She was half
way into a knee bend. She smiled at me. I smiled back. She
finished her knee bend. There was a God and it was going to be a
good day.
Chapter Thirty One.
During the night the streets had been hosed down and it was
still early enough and they smelled clean. This despite the fact
talk about what to expect during the ride out to the country. A
few blocks from the embassy, we were going past a run down house
white paint was weather beaten and huge strips of it peeled away
from the facade. The elderly woman peered very cautiously and
the knock at the door, the secret police, the pleas of innocence
I do know I saw too many years of fear in her eyes, and I had
lived too many years in New York City to mistake fear for the ice
cream man come a jingling. And in that long second I felt like I
had violated her space. A fast look at Daniel told me he felt the
same sense of violation and we bowed our heads and hurried along.
143
As we were about to enter the embassy, Daniel commented,
"Capitalism has arrived too late for the old woman and her ilk.
I agreed.
Chapter Thirty Two.
The bus port along with the embassy helicopter pad were
the far corner of the compound where she stood along with the kid
and the Frenchman who had gotten into the argument the night
before at the New York Cafe. Daniel joined her while I stopped at
a makeshift desk and signed us in. The moment I lay the pen aside,
"Figured."
"We?"
145
"You bet," he replied, "I ain't gonna let you boys have all
the fun."
press?"
Although his intent wasn't lost on me, the comment was just
too old time country boy to pass up. But before I could quarry
him, Hemingway walked over. They hadn't met yet and I introduced
challenge. But it will have to wait for later. I've a few last
"Yeah, well."
am curious. Why you going? A big shot senior editor like you
had let Hemingway get the better of me. He was a stupid man. To
let him get my goat meant I was also stupid. I knew this was
Worked for the French News service. I had met him briefly about
DaGaulle's funeral.
small dark face with brown fortune tellers eye's and melancholy
lazily went back inside the embassy. I had looked away at Sam
147
possibly a second longer then everybody else which was a mistake
York. The rookies, most who were in their early twenties, baffled
Only at work I had to, as their generation put it, interact with
as was evident by his frequent glances at the bus. He was way out
of his league here, I thought. Hell, just running off with Katrina
the previous night was a mistake for one so young and naive. So I
began to feel sorry for him. And I hate feeling sorry for anybody.
such emotion, and the queasy stomach that follows, I'd rather do
so for myself.
without us."
He lifted one hand above his head in the awkward motion one
does when unsure or embarrassed. "I know. But I got the jitters
time. I know you and Hemingway don't get along. But he did get me
all to be friends.'
As much as I hated to admit it, the kid had grit. And I had
Hemingway.
such, and did look over his shoulder. Much to his surprise and
149
delight, as he smiled happily, Katrina and the others trailed
behind us.
editor."
I believed he would.
Chapter Thirty Three.
The gopher decided to play hall monitor and when the bus was
passengers. He wore a stern face and his intent was obvious. And
out loud. Sam, who because of his height was crammed packed in the
seat across from me, must of seen this because he looked up over a
note pad he was writing in and leaned over and whispered, "I think
the turkey has heard too many stories about journalists going hog
I nodded agreement.
one started out peacefully enough. Except for a few whispers, the
bus was stone quiet. I had attended my share of press road trips
and knew this was because people were jotting down questions to be
asked. Daniel, who sat on my left, was doing as much for the both
of us. I would of course scan his list later and add a question or
two. Once I was satisfied, we would tear the list down the middle
151
Since I had nothing to do, as the bus pulled out of the
compound I lit up a cigarette and settled into the seat and stared
out the window. The road out of Budapest began like any major
five and six rooms with lawns trimmed to within an inch of the
topsoil lined both sides of the highway. But unlike America where
lush farmland. The driver wrestled the wheel, fighting the loops
and turns. But the road was rough, and the bus frequently bounced,
jarring the kidneys, and the tires kicked up a cloud of dust that
soon engulfed the bus; obscuring the scenery outside the windows.
Because the bus lacked air conditioning, most of the windows were
choking and gagging began; some exaggerated, some not. The choking
throat. To this someone in the rear mumbled a bit too loud, "Lousy
I was amazed when the gopher stood and demanded to know who
including myself Daniel and Sam. Only the kid and Katrina, who sat
directly behind me, didn't snicker. That was because the kid was
coughing hard from all the dust and cigarette smoke in the bus and
"This not lousy cheap ass commie government bus. It lousy cheap
straight face sat back down and continued talking to the driver.
I think up until then most people had kept busy with their
the grumbling ceased. A few miles later for the first time people
before and knew each other in that vague sense that co-workers in
the same office know each other but really know nothing about each
other; and soon some good natured ribbing took place. A never say
die hippie who was a well known journalist who wrote leftist
propaganda and right now worked for the Village Voice shouted out
that he was nicknaming the bus, 'the magic bus,' and the
translator, 'The Wizard.' A few loud moans from people who had
heard this hippie shit once too often over the years followed this
153
aisle. Soon the din of conversation was almost overpowering in the
while taking a moment to hang his legs out in the aisle; way out
"Sure is."
"Maybe we should shoot the poor critter. You know, put him
"Sure."
you awoke."
our bags. I got tossed out of the country. Damn Muslim purity. How
"Hell, I got ice," Sam replied and pulled a gallon sized ice
found at picnics. I gave them a, huh huh, look just so they knew I
knew. They laughed at the look. After a few seconds the laughter
ran its course and we filled the glasses with ice and Wild Turkey.
Except for the kid, that is. We offered, but he had gotten over
his coughing spell long enough to squeak out a polite thank you,
"Exactly."
155
Sam found this amusing because a smile traced across his
said, "So tell me great one from the land of the Lone Star. Who is
Mr. Information?"
told you he was a country boy. More at home with simple folk then
their ilk today I imagine. They owned a small farm. The farm had
communists came into power and nationalized all private land. The
resisted. As you can imagine, the people in the town quickly fell
old. And like most fifteen year old kids, he had a defiant streak
in him, although in his case it was obviously inherited, and wrote
his ass into what is double speak for booby hatch; a reeducation
camp. Two years later when he was released, he again wrote poetry.
So they again tossed him back in the booby hatch. Over the years
the booby hatch became a revolving door. The communists opened the
door and he wrote poetry against them, and back in he went. He was
157
"Right. The man who controls the flow of information controls
wore the good old boy hat. But now lines furled over his eyebrows.
He had used the term Uncle once to often and I had trapped
appeared. Two men passing down time. But he had made a mistake and
the press then the bus driver was. He worked for the C.I. A. The
trick now was how to play it out. Make a big to do or pass it off.
He chose the latter. He lazily stood and stretched the kinks out
of his bones for a few seconds. At last he smiled down at me. "I
moonlight."
into the ground. The problem was, I really didn't care. The fact
that the C.I.A. had their fingers into Hungarian politics wasn't
this. So the question facing me was did I want to make him squirm.
NO. There was no payoff in this. If it was the gopher, yes, just
for fun. Besides, Sam was okay and I never knew when I might need
a favor.
glass in salute.
cup he spun and meandered his way to the rear of the bus. But not
before winking at the kid. The act and the reason for doing so
conversation; and the twists and turns had to be difficult for him
had added fuel to his curiosity. As I was the answer man, I was
and one questions lay there. I bemoaned the obvious of 'why me.' I
follow Sam to the rear of the bus, I couldn't. Too rude. Besides I
there faced with the dilemma of what to say. He was too young to
outright admit that Sam worked for the C.I.A. He would, without
159
best way to avoid discussing a matter best left alone for all
concerned.
"Last night at the Cafe. Before Frenchie almost got shot. You were
mind to shift gears. And it took him a few seconds. I took a few
There are people who do this. Some young and naive, and they do so
because they are usually eager to learn, and these can be forgiven
once or twice. And then there are others who are just plain
have a mad passionate romance with her. I met her last night. It's
Katrina. Now I don't know what to do. I love my girl back in
defended, "I know how it sounds. But it's not like so. My girl
tuned the rest of what the kid was saying out. The kid was a fool,
I decided. And I should send him packing back to his girl. I would
have but who was I to lecture him about subscribing to below the
grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and kicking him ass forward
trust what I might say and stood and brushed by her and went to
the rear of the bus. I wasn't sure who I was angriest at; Katrina,
the kid, or myself. Katrina was Katrina. She had always played the
field and did so better then most men. Sometimes she got hurt and
sometimes she did the hurting. But those were men. This was a boy
who was still wet behind the ears. She should know better. The kid
161
was another matter. He was just a fool letting his little head
drive his big head. And I was mad at myself because I had let the
when I was young. But all the supposing in the world couldn't
right away there was a dice game going on in the rear of the bus.
I knew it was a dice game because I had learned long ago that men
only knelt for four things; while praying, while being delivered
the coup de grace, while with a woman and while shooting dice.
I was still very angry and easily pushed through the circle
to find Daniel and Sam kneeling side by side. They both were busy
trapping his tongue between his teeth and rolling the dice. The
dice came up snake eyes, and he moaned out load. A stack of one
dollar bills exchanged hands. Another pass and another moan and
163
years, or a bathroom stall or anyplace for that matter, and at
first the plastic cubes felt unfamiliar in my palm. But such games
help pass the time and I had played often during my younger days
comfortable feel to them. The first throw stole away the anger. My
point was six. The second throw calmed me. A four and a two. As
money exchanged hands I squeezed the dice tight, and the action
stick my fat nose where it wasn't asked for was a suckers game, I
as she had stayed with the kid and failed to do so now because she
was going over his notes and giving him advice on what to ask at
behind his left ear and scratched. "It was perfect before. Now
it's flawed."
make the other person defend. But by than we were already at our
165
destination, so I chalked his statement up to the twenty dollars I
had taken off him at dice and glanced out the window instead. The
Outside the church a group of men awaited us. They were all
dressed in their Sunday best, and didn't look at all like farmers
The aisle soon crowded with people anxious to depart the bus.
"Just teasing. Although one did seem. Well. Listen. 'So how
"Weak. Weak."
"How so?"
dinner."
"On the surface they appear to be the same question. But not
he conceded
"Fret not son," I said, "Just stick with a senior editor and
someday..."
for some kind of adlib joke. I decided to play along, and said, "I
from me?"
but when the kid had spoken, a quick shift in victims occurred and
he did a slow crawl of his eyeballs for effect and placed them
"Absolutely," I said.
The kid was now primed for all the horrors he had seen under
167
For an improvisational joke of this nature to work requires a
good long pause for effect. Sam did just so then said, "We're all
dead, kid. I just told them. The town out there. Its contaminated.
Chernobyl. The towns a toxic dump for Chernobyl. It's in the dust.
The air. Sorry. I didn't realize the error until I saw the name of
the town. Who ever planned the trip screwed up. Some bureaucrat
to boot. Can't even disclose the news to the public. Too risky.
They will evacuate the town soon. Once the town is evacuated, I
aged...which is damn near the same. I, well I'm from Texas and
like all Texans carry a shit load of guilt ever since Kennedy was
well she has herpes. She didn't tell you. Sorry to be the bearer
of bad tidings and all such, but she's a woman and getting up
there in years and well. And him, well, he's a senior editor and
has gone as far as he's going up life's ladder and has nothing to
live for anyway. But you, you're young. Damn shame too."
looking like doom, looked first to Katrina whom he loved and had
her shoulder, I thought he was going to cry. But all at once his
"I hope you three are good and ashamed," Katrina retorted.
window at him during this exchange. The others on the bus had
emptied out onto the street and had formed a crowd facing the
gopher and the translator. The gopher was addressing the crowd.
uninterested at the sky. But not the kid. He believed he had come
to see the farm and in doing so had bought the farm and was damn
well going to make the best of it and listened for all he was
journalist, whatever the hell that was, and in his last days on
this earth, he was going to act like one, or what he imagined this
to be.
a child had read too many stories about journalists; those free
wheeling men and women who traveled the world over in search of
truth, justice and undoubtedly the American way, and while reading
169
hell like them was. But hell he didn't even know a joke when he
saw it coming.
then ever to speak about him to Katrina. And would of played the
fool and done so right then in front of Sam and Daniel but she had
The sun was setting and the air was sweet like the change of
fresh sheets; I guess it was the day giving way to night that made
it so. Daniel and I nursed our drinks while watching from the
window for about an hour, and hadn't said word in this time to
enjoying the end of the day together. The silence of the one on
one camaraderie that two men find in each other, but never three
or four and more. Two was the secret number. Two men going off on
a hunt. Two men sharing a bottle and telling glory day stories.
Two men knowing each other as well as they knew themselves. Two
men riding off into the sunset. All this is a male thing. It was
also a myth. Young boys had time for such camaraderie, but men had
obligations. I knew this and was thankful for the time to enjoy
distinctive odor in the air; pungent, yes, but also bitter like
171
gone to rotten cabbage. Although faint, it was there. And it
covered our share of war and know the smell all too well for what
to the living room where a nine inch black and white television
News. Sky news originated out of London and through a world wide
to the window in the kitchen. We sniffed at the air like two hound
the window until the dim glow of the sun fading in the west cast
shadows over the room. I was set into my thoughts by this time and
leave."
"Right," I replied.
We had agreed to meet Sam at the New York Cafe at seven. Jack
and Joanne were out, and knowing that they would want to hear all
about the trip to the country, I left them a note on the kitchen
bedroom window for her. Her apartment was dark. I sniffed the air.
The smell of sour cabbage was still evident, but so very faint as
Daniel was nice; even good. And although we had covered many wars;
both large and small, I could do without another war. The death.
173
Chapter Thirty Seven.
it was too thin to keep out the strong wind blowing off the
winter rides a fierce snow white horse. But go ahead. I'll wait
here."
something other then what was implied, and knowing as I did how he
against pursing the matter. Talking about the weather was idle
chatter and had never been my cup of tea. And if it was war he
was speaking of; the white Russian steed of winter sweeping its
icy grip over Hungary...as the invading Russian army had been
felt the same way because he stuffed his hands in the side pockets
of his flight jacket, hunched his shoulders and began walking. I
did likewise.
Sam sitting at a table along with Hemingway and the kid. Sam waved
Hemingway and for that matter the kid without Katrina baby sitting
reached the table. We said hello to Sam, Hemingway and the kid,
but only Sam returned the greeting. I figured Hemingway was still
angry about our little spat earlier and I thought the hell with
him. As for the kid, I ignored him entirely. A moment later Stan
face.
"Yes," I replied.
at night from a American book many months. I too red faced to talk
175
in crowds. Know not how I how you say, sound. Sound right word. I
worry on this. But now. You Americans. You tell me. I talk good. I
go to Cleveland soon. You come see me. We get drunk and stupid,
"You go soon."
visa." He nodded vigorously, and paused during which time his face
grew very serious. "Wait long time. Save much Forints. Forint no
wide at what he was thinking. "Much much much Forint. Few American
was him as he left to fetch our drinks. But speaking english had
his eyes, but there was also great expectation there. And joy. And
yes hope. And I was reminded right than of something taken for
response.
to go home."
177
"A full scale revolt has broken out in Rumania against
Ceausescu."
announcing the revolt until morning while they conferred with the
I had known the man for many years and to be drunk was
remain in control. I guess this was one of the reasons why I had
the use of alcohol into being obnoxious. I also thought I knew why
restore his lost pride. And I suppose there were scoops in Hungary
to be found, but they took grit and determination and skill and he
had long ago forsaken all this for the easy life. But now hundreds
wanted. And he wouldn't even have to work very hard at it. A war
had a way of rotating mediocre men into heros. But he was stuck in
returned with our drinks. Daniel had been quietly talking to Sam
and out of respect for Stan they both fell quiet. Stan practiced
as he was out of ear shot, I asked Sam how many people in the room
knew?
"Yes. She was here a while ago but she left with the
Frenchman."
"Right."
I had just about had enough of him and was about to say so
table with us, but off into himself. I hadn't talked to him since
he had abruptly marched off the bus and had figured he had
179
Like I said before, Sam was a large man in every respect. The
kid, without further comment, sat and stared off into space. I
expected Hemingway to razz the kid but he stared hard at the drink
in his hand. I guess he liked the kid and felt bad. As much as I
For the next half hour, Hemingway drank like a fish, the kid
brooded and Sam and I and Daniel discussed and rediscussed the
current events. Just about the time we had worn the subject to
death Katrina walked in and sat down. Jean wasn't with her and
replaced relief and he refused to meet her eyes. Stan came over
with his happy chatter about Cleveland and took Katrina's order.
debate going. There was one question on all our minds from the
beginning, and finally Daniel got around to it. "Is Rumania sealed
off?"
forces, have the country sealed like, well like an iron curtain.
effect in Bucharest, and dusk to dawn for the rest of the county."
trains.
"And overland?"
"Crossed my mind."
wasn't surprised when Daniel let the last remark go and nodded
course he knew that Katrina and I would want to tag along, and
that's where all agreement ended. For the past hour, I hadn't paid
181
that he was also going. Entering a war zone with him was not my
cup of tea. Not because I disliked him. But because he was too
off and said he was also going. This was too much for me. I wasn't
wet nursing a kid who was in heat and vigorously said as much. I
ears. When I did I was beside myself and looked to Daniel and Sam
when people laugh at you you can almost laugh along. The other way
had planned on telling her earlier in the day but hadn't had the
opportunity to.
"Hell," she replied, "I knew about his girl back in the
"So?"
back in Indiana on some small town rag while his wife flips
pancakes for breakfast. I figured by screwing the Frenchman you
double for a real angry woman. And I figured that she was real
angry when she leaned forward and bunched up my shirt in her fist.
from you."
"Yeah. That's right," I said, yanking her hand away, "How the
hell would you feel if I was corrupting an eighteen year old girl.
Huh."
wouldn't give a flying fuck," she screamed. "I'll have you know an
fucking hate pancakes. And the guy was a prick. And if I ran into
him today, I'd slap him with one hand and shake his hand with the
Her anger spent, she slumped back in her chair. She had
screamed so loud that number one, my ears were ringing, and number
183
sat like this, foolish, and waited a few seconds for us both to
realized my error. I had used the word 'corrupt.' This had been a
major mistake. Tact was called for here. I just had to use tact
and she would see reason. After all she was woman...somewhere.
the amusement park and riding on a roller coaster. It's not. This
is life or death. Only you can convince him to stay. It's for his
own good."
By the way she sighed, I was sure she was won over.
who know all too well that the first words out of a tyrants mouth
are 'for you own good.' Sure he's in love. And sure he could die.
this is his choice to make, not ours. I beseech you, Sam, Daniel,
don't do this."
Her impassioned plea was too much to overcome. And she was
right. I knew this deep down inside. But still I looked into Sam
and Daniel's eyes for help. I saw defeat and said nothing further
on the matter.
For the next hour we planned the trip into Rumania. We needed
pool. An after market tank had been installed and it held forty
five gallons of fuel. Twice the average for the model. This, he
that Mr. Information would issue the permit and said so. Sam
course was to cut the risk of capture by keeping the trip in and
a day recording events, and drive back to Budapest under the cover
185
of darkness. Katrina dissented on this. A day wasn't enough. Two
wasn't. As a senior editor I knew all too well that chaos leads to
said so right off. Daniel and Katrina did. Katrina bowed to Daniel
and explained why. Although she spoke Rumanian, she was a woman.
The Rumanian culture for centuries was steeped in the male as cock
male do the speaking for the group. This was said without rancor,
just logic and Daniel agreed. The next detail concerned taking a
cheap Brownie or its ilk was decided upon. Katrina would act as
the camera man, such as it was, and carry the camera in her purse
Finally Sam told her to knock it off and she laughed but
such a thing brought life to it. We all knew this. We had long
be clear headed in the morning and each of us sat there with our
own thoughts and worries while toying with our drinks. I wouldn't
suddenly hit home. What if we were apprehended. What was the worst
with his head resting on his arms. He had not uttered a peep
during the planning of the trip and I had assumed it was because
187
or at the very least informing him that we were leaving at dawn
and he had better be ready, but rejected the idea. The hell with
him. If I was lucky he'd awake in the morning and discover we had
left.
I shook him awake, and told him to go home and sleep it of.
The son-of-a-bitch had lied there with his head in his arms
"Most kids sleep with pricks who just want to score and move
on. You know this," she said, "The kid learns nothing but
I did. But I still thought she was wrong. But the argument
was over. I had lost. And there wasn't anything more to say on the
subject.
Chapter Thirty Eight.
to meet at the Embassy in the morning then went our separate ways.
For Daniel and I the walk back to the apartment, like the walk to
the New York Cafe was accomplished with hands stuffed in pockets
and in silence. The cold was more intense then earlier, and I
aside and glanced at Daniel. His head was cocked off and down to
Joanne asleep. But Jack sat at the kitchen table. The note I had
other hand. He looked tired, dark circles under his eyes; and I
commented on such.
189
"I am," he replied. He pushed the note aside. "Sorry."
me to his bedroom door and reached around to the wall and flipped
on the light. The light framed him there for a moment. He looked
sad. And hesitant. I figured the former was due to the seriousness
wanted to talk, but didn't want to say as much because the night
"Nightcap," I whispered.
Daniel who broke the silence. We had fixed a small drink and by
this time had finished it off and had set the glasses on the
floor.
"No," I lied.
"No need."
the kid, Katrina's correct, it's his choice to make, not ours."
I was Hemingway.
"You like the kid, don't you. I do also. The kid grows on
the kid. Gutsy don't cut it. Not in war. Only experience does."
christian name."
191
lay in bed with my clothes on and listened to Daniel move around
in the room next door. Finally the rustling ceased and I knew he
But sleep eluded me, and I lay there for a while just
and then her. And as it was late, I was very much surprised to see
her on the balcony doing exercises. The moment she saw me, she did
stood full at me. She had brought a lamp out to the balcony to
work by and the dim light from it cast dark hue's and shadows
across her body. There was an animal grace about the way she stood
within the soft light; very still, almost a natural stature, yet
the muscles were sinewy and tense and ready to spring...and yes
as she had paused, she resumed the knee bends, and the spell was
broken.
and lay on the bed and watched her until sleep took me.
Chapter Thirty Nine.
because a few hours later when I came fully awake I was naked. I
lit a match and shadowed my watch with it. It was four thirty. It
was funny, but the last thing I had been prepared to face was the
relief, instead I went to the window. The air was cold and washed
across my body awaking the sleeping nerves. The sky was pitch
black, and she wasn't there, but she had left the lamp on the
balcony and on. I knew she had done this for me.
backed away from the window until I was out of the bedroom door.
Only then did I turn, and when I did I crashed into Joanne. I had
over and realized almost immediately that she was naked from her
head to her toe. I too was naked. She must of realized as much
"Me too."
193
"I thought you were a burglar."
"Yeah."
by her a moment later. "The fuse blew. I was taking a shower and
the bathroom went dark. Just like that. Jesus we are naked."
"Yeah."
the pantry."
"Yes."
other.
explaining about the girl on the balcony. But wasn't sure myself.
Joanne was an attractive woman with lines and curves and such. I
men."
I nodded.
"Well."
"Well."
"Yes. Well."
pantry, I checked the balcony. The lamp was gone and her apartment
dark. I felt a momentary sadness at this. But also glad. She was a
195
Chapter Forty.
time I returned to the kitchen Joanne had coffee ready. She had a
robe on and was sitting at the table. I poured a cup of coffee and
"Nor me."
"Well. No harm."
"Right."
a leaf peeper."
"Leaf peeper?"
changing colors."
"Oh."
"No."
"Okay," I replied, thinking I had missed something and still
do. "Jack seemed a bit stretched last night. Something about the
airline."
"Yes, he's angry because I'm upset. Poor dear. The garment
bag itself I don't care about. But all my good clothes were in
it."
have. The problem is is that the person who has my garment bag has
the clerk at the airline, but they failed to appreciate the logic
sleuthing of his own. The baggage tag on the garment bag has a
going to call the number today and hope somebody is there who can
tell him where in Budapest the person who owns the bag is staying.
was worth a shot. Joanne explained and from there we all made
small talk for a while until Joanne asked about our day. Telling
197
excused myself and went to shower. Daniel could handle lying, I
was sure.
only hope that as Joanne said, Jack would laugh it off. There
know me from Adam. I had saw his wife naked, and had gotten horny.
By the time we left the apartment the gray dawn peeking over
late indian summer we had enjoyed over the past several days was
cards. During the walk to the Embassy, Daniel and I saw the
That there was anger and hurt feelings about the previous
night; the argument over Peter and what not, was evident as soon
arrived at the Embassy well ahead of the others and were leaning
on the car studying a map of the region with Sam when Hemingway
walked up. There were dark hollow circles under his eyes,
ignored us and took one look at the map spread out on the hood of
arrive before discussing what route to take and blamed me for this
slight. I had never felt charitable toward the man on the best of
199
days and right then didn't feel charitable toward him at all and
Katrina followed by the kid entered the compound. She greeted Sam
and Daniel by name but just nodded curtly at me. The slight was
obvious, and even the kid was embarrassed and shuffled in place
of the corners of their eyes, and what they were thinking was
obvious; but they held their peace. I was glad of this because
although they meant well, the wrong word very well might of
angry. But Daniel was right, of course. The rift between Katrina
would both get over our anger. But time wasn't on our side. Too
remain angry at each other while going off together into a war
zone was stupid. Just stupid. The same held for Hemingway. So
despite my anger, I decided to have a talk with both of them
approached Katrina, but each time she huffily moved away from me.
And I was pissed enough to storm off. The kid, well I wasn't about
to apologize to him.
to leave for Bucharest. But I wasn't the only one. There was a
nervous tension evident in the air. Even Daniel had grown testy.
behavior was unlike him and I was taken aback. But I didn't take
ground in the compound was more dust then clay and within minutes,
the earth turned sodden and muddy. Sam had been thoughtful enough
to raid the Embassy canteen and had filled several large paper
201
bags with bottled water, chips, and cigarettes. He had set the
belongings, Sam and I and the kid made a mad dash for the bags.
The kid slipped and skidded into the man pumping gas, knocking the
hose from his hands. Like a very angry snake, the hose uncoiled
wildly in the air while spewing out petrol. Just about the time
Sam and I reached the bags, the kid regained control of the hose
and red faced handed it to the maintenance man who himself was
passing defensive looks saying see it wasn't his fault. This kid.
This kid.
By this time the kid was drenched, and his hair, previously
looking like a hair stylist had groomed it, now lay flat on his
lost puppy, and I wanted to joke with him but wasn't sure how he
would take it. And I would of joked with him had he been Daniel,
not, he was one of us. And I couldn't treat him any different.
"Hey mangy dog," I razzed, "Get over her and help carry these
bags.
hefted a bag, the gopher, who when it had begun to rain had ran
tripped over his tongue mangling his words and it took a moment
Mercedes. The car was new. Sam just couldn't loan this car out to
non Embassy personal. There were other cars. This little speech
last he demanded that Sam heed him or else he would take the
So right there with the rain pouring down, and the ground as
muddy as the earth outside of hell's gate, Sam, who was wearing
and instantly where the metal was once smooth, now lay a large
had happened, that he looked about to cry, yet at the same time
ready to explode.
"It ain't so new anymore!" Sam retorted, "Now get the hell
out of here!"
203
Before the gopher could retreat, Daniel came over and circled
the car, inspecting each ding and dent. The act seemed rather
"What!"
The car rented. Rental agencies never hand out perfect cars. They
the laughter was infectious and soon joined in. Katrina and
Hemingway came over and attempted to ask what was so funny, but
only air spilled from his open mouth. We laughed harder at this,
grabbing onto each other for support and balance. The laughter
Embassy.
luck would have it, I clung to the kid, and Katrina to Hemingway.
I had a hand on the kid's shoulder ready to offer him some inane
comment about the gopher, when I noticed him staring away from me.
Our shirts were too wet to wear, And Sam produced khaki
shirts all around. We joked about how we each looked in khaki and
205
Chapter Forty Two.
Sam's map was a farming hamlet a few miles this side of the
Rumanian boarder. The drive had been uneventful thus far. Perhaps
to express the fear we felt, we had avoided all talk of what lay
distance from the unspeakable. Such it was with us. The atmosphere
and up until then I had forget how charming she could be,
entertained both her suitors and did so splendidly. That they both
desired her played into her charms; often foolishly. And at times
I wished I was one of Katrina's fools. I was once. But that was a
of Mozart coming from the tape player and the rain tapping on the
Mercedes tin roof. Since we had already caught up with each other
on the fate of past comrades, this conversation was just that, two
old friends shooting the breeze and having all day to do so. We
started out reminiscing about our early days spent in New York
Hawkens, the night editor. Old Phil never cussed. Didn't believe
silly in doing so. And in the end we concluded that old Phil had
forgotten more about journalism then we had ever learned. From old
Phil and the night shift on the city beat we moved on. Month by
I for one tremendously enjoyed this time more so then all our
conversations, and at some point knew that I loved him as one does
a brother and would cherish this ride if only for the time spent
with him.
207
Chapter Forty Three.
nature. We were all tired from being cooped up in the car and a
vote was evenly divided, with Peter abstaining. Sam had broken up
four hours, and the last leg four. But the rain had slowed us
some, and the ride into Piblu had taken almost five hours. Since I
there was of course a chance that we'd run into a roving border
patrol and be turned away at the border. Katrina replied that were
rural routes Sam had marked off and stop only if absolutely
awning jutted out from it. A faded coke sign hung from the awning.
A group of men loitered under the awning safely out of the rain.
They were dark of feature, almost gypsy like, and stared at the
fear and apprehension became evident. The men stuffed their hands
coming down quite hard, we all headed for the safety of the
awning. An older man wearing overalls and a face lined like a road
map stepped away from the group and forward. Daniel intercepted
him.
"Egy pillanat."
209
and leaned against the building, or stooped, or lit a cigarette.
The woman who ran the cafe was as dark in feature as the men
and was obviously delighted that Daniel spoke Hungarian and fussed
Hungarian menu; stew was the main and only dish and this was
heavily laced with paprika, and was served with heavy dark bread,
tourists out for leisurely ride in the county, the atmosphere grew
the New York Cafe. I suppose he drank the wine to impress Katrina.
Whatever the case, the second glass took some of the conservative
Indiana starch out of him and he even joked on one occasion about
how all Hungarian food was laced with Paprika. The woman who ran
the cafe had been at the table refilling our coffee cups, and
didn't speak english, waited until she had gone into the kitchen
before adding with a perfect straight face, "And God this wine
I can't say how long we sat there playing the happy tourist
while the woman who ran the cafe refilled the wine and coffee
cups. I do know it was too long because when I went to use the
bathroom and returned Katrina and Hemingway were gone. The woman
who ran the cafe was sitting at a table along with a girl of about
seventeen and they both giggled when they saw me looking around
for Katrina and Hemingway. I did not mistake their giggles for the
ceiling. The woman who ran the cafe and her helper giggled at
wealthy man right now. But I couldn't fault Katrina and Hemingway.
211
They had awakened their long ago torrid romance. And they were
entering a war zone, and this might be the last chance either one
of them might have to touch the other. I would of done the same in
their position. Still I felt bad for Peter. First Jean, now
refrained, and instead just sat there, a sad glum clown smile on
his face. I was very proud of him for this. He was very polite
when a few minutes later Katrina returned; her hair askew, the
about how one could see better from the second floor; a bit
treated him the same as before even going so far as to crook her
audacity.
Chapter Forty Four.
From the moment we left the cafe whatever emotions, ill and
otherwise, stayed on the table along with the dishes and empty
glasses. I had hoped that the rain had diminished, but when we
stepped outside the rain was coming down as strong as ever and I
for one immediately felt a chill. I mentioned this and the second
Daniel fired up the Mercedes he turned the heater on. But the
chill clung all the way to the Rumanian boarder. Expecting to run
freely, and much to our surprise, crossed the border into Rumania
information had been correct, and Hemingway, his voice rift with
our fears, we joked and laughed for all of a minute. Then we fell
silent and studied the scenery, much in the way tourists will do
when crossing over a state line. And if there was a change in the
scenery, the flat yellow earth that had been apparent for the past
heard the soft far away thud of artillery fire. But it was
213
difficult to tell for sure...the noise could of just as easily
confirm my suspicions, his face said it all. They also were quiet
in the back seat and I knew they were thinking the same.
For the next several hours we were tense and almost silent.
Not because of what had happened at the cafe, but because the
closer we arrived to Bucharest, the more real the war and possible
discovery became for us. I felt isolated during this time, alone
with my thoughts, and found myself staring for long periods out
were void of all livestock and the fields sat fallow. The villages
themselves were dark and somber looking. Only twice did a car
appear from the opposite direction and each time Daniel pulled
into the underbrush along side the road, doused the head lights,
and waited for the oncoming car to pass. The rain had stopped the
first time this had occurred, but still a gray daylight filled out
the sky. We all held our breath as the car passed by us. Although
the rain had ceased, the earth was wet and sodden, and Daniel had
a bitch of a time getting the car back on the road. The second
time Daniel pulled off the road it was dark, and I was dreamily
listening to the music coming from the tape player. The oncoming
outside of Bucharest according to the map Sam had supplied us, the
sky far ahead was rift with tracers. Daniel pulled to the side of
the road here and cut the headlights. The darkness outside
there was only the dark and Vivirdi' Four Season's on the tape
player. The light show ahead had a mystical magical quality to it,
from far ahead into the sky and burst into fiery orange balls.
215
Chapter Forty Six.
and inspect it and load film. She was very methodical, never once
briefcase and from it he took a note pad and went from page to
methodical about the task. Peter just stared out the window; and
frightened. This was his first time, I thought, and like a virgin
was unsure of himself and of his role and how he would perform. We
would look out for him, I knew. Daniel had the best task of all
was dark, and the road twisted and curved, and he had to lean
forward in the seat and scrutinize the road to keep from veering
off into a ditch. Once Daniel turned on the headlights and almost
away.
make and after growing tired of watching the others I stared out
the window and found myself examining my feelings and was still
into Bucharest proper. The street lamps were out and the only
The street was residential and was lined with single story frame
hulk of a burned out house. The tires kicked up dust and spewed
building until the street was hidden from view. As was the
Mercedes.
the hell we're at," he said while shutting off the engine.
217
"For all the good it will do," Hemingway cracked, "What's
left of this rat trap is about to crumble. You plan on digging the
car out."
stepped from the car and we all turned up our collars to ward off
fighting had transpired in this part of town had taken place long
and the occasional rocket bursting in the sky, the combatants had
Daniel broke away from the building out onto the sidewalk and
circled his hand over his eyes and as if peering from a pair of
take. "The Bulevardul Ana Ipatescu lies four blocks up. Another
half mile and the Bulevardul intersects with the Palace Square and
"Katrina?"
"Yeah."
to guess what they were saying. They were lovers now and
And why not. Daniel and I intended on doing the same. I did wonder
who in the end would include Peter. Probably Katrina. Daniel was a
few feet in front of them, moving slow and easy, his head
up the rear.
"Do you think the building will fall on the car," he asked,
worried.
"No."
"But Hem..."
219
"He was just releasing tension."
"Stupid."
"No.It helps."
The rain we had encountered earlier during the ride had left
was similar to what lay behind us. A few buildings were burned out
hulks, while others were left standing, but were dark inside. The
streets were also void of all life, not even a stray dog or cat. I
Ipatescu began the commercial district that would feed us into the
City Center, and was lined with large drab gray buildings. The
Bulevardul was wide, an easy six lanes across, and scores of cars
and cats. The sight that made Peter literally lose his lunch was a
young man; maybe fifteen or sixteen. The youth sat, his back
resting against a bus stop pole, his brown hair curling down over
his forehead, a soft smile frozen on his dead lips. Sitting there,
he looked to be waiting for the A bus to take him uptown where his
because he rested a hand on the street pole where the boy lay and
221
swallow hard twice, then his chest violently heaved and the lunch
seen this. But Daniel and I had and the fact that Peter had thrown
up all over the kid would of been funny if played out in some
act was gross. It was and wasn't. I wish I hadn't because I was
sadness and loss for the dead would come much much later; probably
while sitting back in New York City watching some inane television
show.
Chapter Forty Eight.
was abundantly evident when he had first danced into the Embassy,
the sight of the legless boy emptied it, spilling all such
City Center. I wanted to console him, but didn't. This was neither
lit the sky. There was also the elongated shadows of men darting
waited just long enough for us to nod, then he was gone, a half
223
I grabbed Peter's arm and darted along in a half crouch
but I, with Peter in tow, did, dancing over bricks and twice
time we came out onto the next street over, I was gasping for
looked up, I saw that the street was residential and was lined
the street, and was surprised when he just disappeared. One moment
he was one of the many shadows, and the next gone. Because of the
trees and the brownstones, the street had a darker hue to it then
greeted me. I knew that most were tree branches, but others were
undoubtedly people.
I finally worked out the route he had taken, and this took
all of second, by the angle he had ran. I was sure that he had cut
followed, hoping I was correct. I was and was relieved when I came
out into a wooded area. The area seemed familiar and suddenly I
knew where we were at and silently commended Daniel for his course
here. This was a park and a Botanical garden. During the day
lovers walked hand in hand and gazed at the trees and flowers.
During the night lovers walked hand in hand and gazed at the trees
and the flowers. When the lovers grew tired of this, they
meandered a path that led to the Zibrinskie river and gazed at the
water. When they grew tired of this they went somewhere and made
love. Yes, there was nothing to fight for here. The war and the
few feet behind us, and had no sooner caught up, each gasping for
breath, when angry shouts came from a few feet away. The voices
an old man. Taking turns kicking him. We can bypass them by going
along the river. About a half mile up the river we can cut back
"I want to get a picture of the men beating the old man,"
Katrina whispered.
225
"Use a lit cigarette as a infrared light. You hold it just
during World war two when the photo technology wasn't what it was
"You people are mad," Peter said before Katrina and Daniel
could move, "All you care about is a damn picture. What about the
old man. Huh. What about him. There's four of us. Huh. What about
Yes indeed, I thought, what about the old man. Well the old
sides. For all we knew, the old man could be a member of the
Securitate and had tortured and killed many people over the years.
lingered far too long. I don't know if we had whispered too loud,
himself, and had seen us, or what. But they came at us quickly.
There were two of them, both about Peter's age. They poked guns at
clearing where the old man lay in a fetal position on the grass.
He was beaten bad, bruises and gashes peppered his face, and he
Two men other then the two who had brought us stood over the old
man. Their eyes had a crazed look, their hands were clenched into
fists and their hard fast breath plumed smoke like in the cold
"Thugs," I remarked.
blow doubled me over, and so intense was the pain, that I almost
fell to the ground, but managed at the last moment to stay upright
by digging the souls of my heels into the earth. I was too angry
Rumanian. He used the word Americans several times, and was very
them, and I hoped it worked. But it didn't. The same man who had
used the rifle butt on me, did likewise to Daniel, only more
the ground, brought his knees to his chest and withered and moaned
227
in pain. The man found this delightfully funny and laughed, as did
his comrades. The louder Daniel moaned, his knees curled up to his
Daniel up. My pain had lessened by this time, and I made a move to
assist her, but was waved back by the man who had struck me.
The men sneered at me. I knew what the sneer meant, but didn't add
evident, but they were also cautious men. On one hand we spoke
english, yet two of our party also spoke Rumanian. Also as a group
to over power them, and did so from arms length while Katrina
tight knit circle. Satisfied, they stepped a few feet away and
or take us elsewhere
spelled out was unsettling. Had our tormenters been the army, or
had acquired enough street savvy from the years spent in New York
I could see Daniel thought along the same lines. So did Katrina,
and I couldn't blame her. The thought of these louts invading her
was reason enough. But Peter and Hemingway were another matter. I
knew Peter was a gamer, but one look told me the current turn of
events had thrown him into shock. He'd be no use to us. Neither
would Hemingway. He had lost his usual bravado and smart comebacks
and in fact had not uttered a word while the thugs had detained
us. I saw now that he was white faced. Poor Hem, I thought, he had
come all this way hoping to resurrect a career, and instead had
rifles.
229
Whatever they had in store for us, and what resistance we
could muster became academic when six men wearing army uniforms
us, but then we were standing off to one side, and their attention
was understandably focused on the four men and the rifles they
carried.
For all of us there time was moving forward very quickly and
I only had time to notice the man who had hit me before all hell
broke loose. The man smiled and raised his rifle. The action was
situation. But one of the soldiers saw the movement and issued
another harsh command. By this time the man who had hit me had
burst and the soldier who had issued the command fell to the
ground. One of the other soldiers fired, and the man who had hit
passed from his eyes to mine. I believe he died right then because
off ensured. Wherein a second earlier time had moved too fast to
The three remaining men and the five soldiers didn't see us. They
the bullet riddled body of the man who had hit me. Unbelievable as
both groups began firing away at each other. The nose from the
over the old man who had risen up on all fours and was crawling
from her crouching position and grab Peter and disappear into the
bushes.
for the old man. Although he wasn't our concern, we couldn't leave
him. He was crouched on all fours and had just about cleared the
upright. The old man didn't weight very much and he readily
231
allowed us to half carry him and half drag him. In the confusion,
We ran for all we were worth, our legs pumping under us, our
breath coming in lung burning gasps, through the open space of the
that led to a street. We fell to our knees and crawled through the
saw the medieval bell tower for Piata University and knew where we
street. And it was also evident that we were only blocks away from
the main battle for the city. Rocket fire and tracers that we had
barrage was so loud it hurt the ears. Strangely, this was where we
had been headed. But the fighting here was very fierce. There was
Daniel and I still held the old man, and Daniel roughly
pulled us back into the bushes out of all view. I was glad to see
233
"Listen up because I am only saying this once," Daniel
houses. We'll search for a house to spend the night at. We'll
carry the old guy. Hem, you stay between Katrina and Peter. Let's
go."
"No questions."
"But."
a burst of semi-automatic fire was directed our way. But luck was
with us, and the bullets hit the pavement, kicking up a cloud of
dust. But the near miss increased our adrenalin and we continued
running, our knees pumping up to our chest, the old man carried
loved one now more than likely buried deep within the cold dank
The last human voice we had heard aside from our own had been
the thugs at the gardens and for a moment the sound of a human
235
voice froze us in our tracks. We listened in this fashion as her
cry echoed along the dead streets where everyone who had an ounce
wasn't much choice. The old man was too weak to go on, and for
down to it."
rear and a gray door leading into the cellar. Katrina crouched and
have guns."
"Got to chance it," Daniel replied. "We can't stay here and
we can't keep running. Eventually our luck will run out. Go."
The logic was sound and Peter and Katrina cautiously threaded
the stairs down into the cellar. Daniel and I followed and helped
the old man down the stairs. Hemingway brought up the rear. The
cellar was a small cube like area roughly eight feet by nine feet.
earthen floor, his back against the cellar wall. We huddled next
to him. Katrina sat next to me. Hemingway sat next to her and
cat, Peter paced from one end of the cellar to the other. Although
the cellar was dusty and damp and dark, I felt safe for the first
time in a long time. The secure feeling I felt fled when a moment
was just one or two shells, then the shells came bold and steady.
"Shit," I muttered.
pouring from the night outside, yet this time unsure, hesitant, as
237
if the shells had lost the freedom they had strove so hard to
find.
Chapter Fifty One.
The shelling was unnerving, yes, but to just sit in the dark
and listen was to invite insanity into the room. There was an old
and I discussed whether anybody was home in the house. If so, then
thinking. On the other hand to sit and wonder about them was a
utilize the same tactic Daniel had used upon entering the cellar.
He'd speak softly in Rumanian to calm any fears the people might
have.
239
same. We took the stairway leading up cautiously. The door opened
stream of chatter. But the house turned out to be empty, not even
"Me too."
We searched for blankets and food and were half lucky and
heading to the cellar, we paused in the living room and stared out
the window. The shelling was taking place a few blocks away and
"Hurt like hell at the time. But now. The run. The war."
"Yes."
moments consideration, "I'd say we continue on. But now. No. Spend
"Thugs."
"Same," I replied, "But what I can't figure is who is
of both and in revolt. If this is the case, then this whole god
The cellar was well lit when we returned. Peter and Hemingway
had found three boxes of candles and had lit them and placed them
on the earthen floor in a tight circle for heat. They huddled near
them warming their hands. The old man was awake, and appeared to
Katrina took two and tucked them around the old man. He thanked
her with his eyes. Back at the Gardens, I hadn't paid much
him, and I wondered what had brought him to the Gardens. Why go
241
chamber, his voice sounded like it had came through a thin
whisper, but we all heard him and turned his way. "Madness walks
ago by a madman."
Although it took obvious effort, the old man turned his way.
"You are young. You have much time to, as you put it, to take it
easy."
"Ah, this explains why you were at the park. Lost, huh."
know. But I had not walked in the park for a long while. A very
long while."
"Yes."
mean to infer."
and smiled. "But twenty years ago I would of thought the same. The
police take a man off the street and I assumed he had done
America, no. People do nothing when the police take a man off the
street. They think he had done something wrong, yes. Funny, isn't
it."
flight jacket, lit it and handed it to the old man. The old man
Sorry."
time, no."
243
"But the war," Peter said, "Why not wait."
"Like I said you are young. Some things can not wait." He saw
that Peter did not understand, and as I watched the way in which
young.
"My young friend, three hours ago I shared cell number ten
with two other prisoners. I spent twenty years in this cell, and
in this time had only gone out once and that was to bury a
my cell mates and I could see from our barred window, the
Zibrinskie river through the trees that lined the shore. Due to a
that with a long enough pole, he could thread the line through the
gaps between the trees and into the water and in no time at all
yank out a big fat wiggling trout. I teased him that even if he
had a long pole, and even if he could thread the line through the
trees, and even if a big fat trout was stupid enough to give up
its freedom for a fool locked away in prison, how the devil would
he cook the darn fish. Ional, a laborer, just laughed and said,
But it was later now, and we had put such foolish bantering
away as we stretched out on the cold dank floor and searched for
warmth beneath the blankets. Ional had been lying there for about
an hour, but the cold and hunger, and the overhead light that
remember the light bothering him before. But it did now. It just
would not wake Nicolau who was snoring loudly in the far corner of
before."
"Yes," I answered.
"What's to work?"
"Nothing?"
"Right."
"No."
"No."
"Yes," I answered.
"No."
245
"No?"
"No."
"No," I replied.
light glared at him and he used his hand to shield the glare so he
"No."
"What than?"
earnest at Ional. Ional was only nineteen and was younger then me
by thirty years, and I knew this was why he was asking so many
questions. This and fear. But I also knew it was the privilege of
youth and fear to ask questions. "Are you afraid we will starve to
death?"
"Yes," he answered.
old men playing chess, the lovers walking hand in hand, the young
pulled the blanket tight around me and just thought: Yes to never
247
Chapter Fifty Two.
"So you see my young American friend, this is why when hours
ago the cell doors were thrown open and all the prisoners freed
The old man had spoken barely above a whisper and the telling
of his story had exhausted him and he closed his eyes. For a few
minutes his breath was labored, then a few seconds later grew
shallow and I knew that he slept. The cigarette had almost burned
down to his fingers and Daniel gently took it from him and crushed
it out.
We didn't want to wake the old man and sat silently huddled
around us. His story had touched each of us, and as the night wore
candles flickered and we would glance away from them to the old
candles.
Chapter Fifty Three.
seen the window before, and was mildly annoyed to see it now. But
the night.
"The shelling has stopped," he said, "So let's get the hell
out of here."
chill from my cramped muscles, I saw that the others had fallen
249
asleep also. Peter slept hunched over with his legs crossed and
his head in his lap. I had expected to find Hemingway and Katrina
curled up next to each other, but they slept apart; Katrina curled
was life. Only the old man slept sitting upright. I briefly
break and time to leave. As I reached to gently awake the old man,
angrily kicked at the ground, and Hemingway looked away, the old
man's death affected Peter most of all. He kneeled next to the old
when he came up empty, he touched the old man's hand and stared
"No we're not," Peter replied, "We're taking him back to the
Gardens."
"Be sensible kid," Hemingway said.
unwritten code in the fourth estate: you never left your own for
the jackals to pick over if you could help it. I supposed that
Hemingway could argue that the old man wasn't one of us. But he
was. Sitting there, I honestly believed that the old man had
known he was dying, and because Peter was young, had made an
wasn't about to leave him in that dirty dank cellar. I didn't care
further protest.
to use the bathroom there. I was waiting my turn when Peter came
out. He had borrowed Katrina's brush and the mere act of washing
his face and brushing his hair added a spark of life to his eyes.
251
myself all night, and the fullness in my bladder ached something
looked behind the gruff unshaved stubble and saw arrogance; no,
By the time we emerged from the cellar, the sun was nipping
above the eastern skyline. Still there was a wetness in the air
from yesterdays rain and the streets had a layer of dew on them.
But the warmth from the sun was a welcome change from the cellar's
dampness. Although we had all slept, we had not slept well and
this showed in our steps; heavy and weary. Peter and I carried the
weight very much and I didn't think it would be necessary and said
so. What I failed to say was that I was more then a little
needlessly. The battle of the night before had left many dead, and
even more wounded. Consequently the path to the Gardens was rift
They sat cross legged on the ground while weeping over a deceased
loved one at their feet. All around them medics cared for the
manner. We just woodenly made our way to the Gardens. During this
253
long somber walk my grip on the old man slipped once, and half of
had never done such a thing and was unsure on what to say.
up huge clumps of dirt, came bounding across the grass. The truck
pulled to a halt a few feet away from where we stood. Four men in
tired to care. A man with Lt. Bars on his uniform shouted out,
"Americans?"
Before they reached us, Daniel broke from our ranks and met
them halfway.
explained that the Lt. had been instructed to find four Americans
and bring them to headquarters. He was very happy that we were the
"Sam?" I asked.
Garden's and extracted a promise from the Lt. to bury the old man
on the park grounds. The Lt. had seen right away by the old man's
prisoner and seemed to think this was fitting and left two of his
men to do so.
Gardens," he said.
how we had come across the old man, he held his peace and we left
it at that.
255
Chapter Fifty Five.
where a bellicose man with drooping eyes stood from behind a desk
littered the top of the desk. Upon seeing us, he stood, and with a
very noticeable limp, came to the door and greeted us. In perfect
then begged us to sit, saw there were only two chairs, and
this he nodded, more to himself than us, and went and sat at his
desk.
also very tired and weary from too little sleep. The combination
of the two often brews bravely and recklessness and such it was
had brought the extra chairs. This exasperated the commander, and
his tone grew short, "You Americans are so suspicious. Why? You
have never tasted the hardship of war. Sit! Besides if I wanted to
Since Katrina understood, I glanced her way. She laughed and sat
fumbled about in his desk drawer and finally pulled out a large
black cigar, "And are probably hungry and thirsty. Food and coffee
are on the way. And wine. Rumania makes a very fine wine. Better
then that bull shit the Hungarians make. So relax. Please forgive
course. The priest are old ladies and the nuns are old men. I am
in charge here."
automatic rife fire. We had not heard gunfire for a few hours and
and glanced toward the only window in the room. All I could see
alarm. The commander scrubbed a weary hand across his face and
257
excused himself and left the office. On his way out a rather dour
woman in a black peasant dress passed him on the way in. She
sandwiches on the tray made of hard black bread and cheese, and
"Buna seara," The woman said. She pointed at the tray. "Micul
dejun."
"La revedere."
food.
Daniel replied.
"The man you and Sam were discussing on the bus?" Peter
asked.
how his father's brother's uncle's sister had offered her hymen to
a traveling Hungarian shoe salesman and nine months later out
popped a little shoe horn of a Hungarian and they have had to live
After the long night in the cellar, this garnered more then a
told you about the blot on the family name. Yes it is true." He
rolled the cigar between his thumb and forefinger, smiling at his
own joke for a moment, then struck a match against the desk and
quickly filled the air with black foul smelling smoke. "Russian
tobacco. Manure really. But I ramble, no. You have questions and
have picked you up. They will send a helicopter for you. Now you
him and his wife and deliver the coup de grace and then Rumania
questions, no?"
automatic weapon fire rang out. So did we. And like before we all
259
outside. The commander threw his hands up in disgust and once
when the adjutant who had brought the two chairs entered carrying
then we had finished the sandwiches and coffee and stood and
placed the coffee cups on the tray and each picked out a glass of
"Ah, yes," the commander replied, "I was told of him. His
We did.
and point at a man and say, that one is innocent, and my men let
him go. In this way I satisfy my conscience and the men's lust for
revenge for loved ones who were tortured at the hands of the
Securitate dogs."
lowered his eyes at this, the burden too much to bear. I reminded
it was your American Civil War General William Sherman who said,
'It is only those who haven't heard the cries and the shrieks of
the dying and the wounded who cry out for more blood, more war;
"Where were we?" he asked, taking a seat behind his desk, "Ah
yes. Questions. You have many, no. First off you want to know what
thing to go. I sometimes think that men, like an old horse, should
lay down at forty, and this way young people would not have to
listen to past glories, and would not hatch a dream to live them.
Instead men live on; marching in parades, and what not and make
261
long elegant speeches while looking out from wheelchairs and
stumps and." His eyes focused somewhere beyond us. "I talk too
much and say too little. So you have a little time before the
burst of semi-automatic fire rang out. Knowing the reason for the
gunfire made the sound all the more unnerving and Hemingway sprang
the room.
Write about them. They would like this. Yes." He yelled out for
the adjutant. We waited a long second for the man to come. When he
"The young one, what's his name?" the commander asked the
"Peter."
"He has come too far, it is in his eyes, no. He has passed
over."
It was my turn to stare off in the distance.
"Ah but for ones who have drank of life as we this is a sad
will do, us who prefer to sit and drink of fine Rumanian wine
For my part, I had never lived a more bizarre hour. The time
related about his home, wife and son. He was married to the army,
good woman. He has one child. Attends the university; the one we
student, which is not so good, better he get a few C's and B's. Ah
He was crazy. And the sad part was was that he knew it. And
263
Chapter Fifty Six.
and offered a joke about how nice it was to fly in good weather. I
eyes, and agreed. In the little time we had spent together, I had
his hand and wished him well. As Daniel did likewise, Peter, who
had stood off to once side during this farewell, moved closer to
me. I knew what he was going to ask even before he did so.
I had not spoken to him since he had left the office, and I
"Yes."
"Very well," I answered, knowing full well his girl had seen
the last of him, "But when you work for me, you work. And I expect
a dispatch a day. And no cutesy crap. Or political lobbying. Or
best by you."
press room. You have the number. Route your dispatches through
there."
tell Katrina.
helicopter a few minutes later when Katrina ran up and said that
she had decided to stay. She did so, I am sure, because she wanted
to spend more time with this new person Peter had become. I
jokingly mentioned this as she handed me the film she had shot.
She airily laughed it off and joked back that I was envious. I was
265
"God, he's a prick, but he's a hell of a prick and I just
him full on the mouth causing a halt to his laughter. He held her
There was a special bond between Katrina, Daniel and I and Peter
particularly so.
"Well." I said.
"I missed you these years. Don't be such a stranger." She had
put too much intensity into her words, and to play it off wrapped
arms around Daniel and I and hugged us close. "Hell, we're the
Our eyes got misty, and we stood there silently clutching one
staying. About asking the pilot to set back down and just stepping
bullets. I could follow the wars, year in and year out, never
growing rusty, or old, just forever young right into death. Like
helicopter was well on its way. But still the urge was strong
within me and I wanted to talk about this, and Daniel was the
Senior Editor I appreciated this and let him be. But like I said,
267
Three hours later when the helicopter set down on the
foolishness.
Chapter Fifty Eight.
held three clean khaki shirts, and in the other a fifth of Wild
because the shirt I wore was high holy hell rank. But the Wild
wash away the Rumanian wine which had tasted like goat piss.
Daniel had felt likewise about the wine but we hadn't had the
also wasn't the least bit surprised that Sam hadn't immediately
The four glasses he held said it all. He knew what was going on.
Probably knew minutes after the helicopter had set off for
Budapest.
think he did so because he was afraid Sam was going to drop the
bottle.
269
"Those words sing out to my lonely Texas heart," he replied,
were men who had returned from war and tradition dictated that
further fanfare, we headed for the press room to send off the
reached the door to the embassy, and looked over my shoulder and
with Peter, and now Hemingway. Although I disliked the man, he had
come this far, and was entitled to go the rest of the way.
I was far enough away that I had to shout, and for a moment I
repeated myself.
"Forget it,"
keeper. The guy was raking leaves and paused in his work to watch
to him.
"Oh stop it!" he sneered, "At least I know what I am. And
few days. I am a man who writes about three or six legged cows."
squat to me. They never did. I came for one last hurrah. I can
return home now, and late at night after feeding on bullshit all
day and when laying next to my snoring wife, I'll look back on
this time, smile and feel the better and go to sleep. In short,
this last hurrah will last me the rest of my life. But will this
shot of youth last you the rest of your life? Yes, I saw you and
the look on your face when the helicopter lifted off. You're not
drink the celebration of the returning hero. But we both know what
271
heels and headed for the embassy. At the door, I turned and
there was the bottle of Wild Turkey to speed the sympathies along.
just as well.
daunting, but this wasn't one of them. I knew exactly word for
word what I was going to write. Had known since we happened upon
the old man in the park. I was going to write about Peter, a young
273
man, meeting the sector of war face to face. But as the words
pushed my chair away from the desk, sighed, and stood to refill my
glass. The office was quiet, and somewhere in the far corner of my
street in New York city late at night, I noticed Daniel and Sam
staring at me. I supposed they had watched me for a long time. And
at the screen. I almost screamed for him to get away, but caught
three and six legged cows. Is this what America has come to?"
"No. Yes. No. It's Hemingway," I finally said and told them
passed, the idea horrified me. The dispatch was self indulgent
"Yeah sure," Sam perked up, "Why give the bastard the
satisfaction."
Yes indeed, I thought, now that the anger was gone. Why give
Hemingway the satisfaction. And there was the moment, right there,
him as men talk about men; and I denied everything he had said.
What did he knew. He was man who wrote about one legged cows. I
wrote real journalism. What did he know. And here was where I
began to see the truth as it was, not as Hemingway had seen it,
and the truth was, was that we had accomplished the impossible. We
had planned a daring foray into a war torn country and had emerged
unscathed.
275
"Ball-less bastard," Sam added.
half hours. We wolfed down ham sandwiches that Sam had the gopher
I feigned anger at his criticism, for the most part it was valid
a swell time and when the dispatches were transmitted, and the
film that Katrina had shot was on its way, via courier pouch, to
Actually we were well oiled by this time and the whiskey did our
277
our sexual powers. Sam was in the middle of a story about a blond
when Daniel remarked that Sam had already told the story.
had been there, but now it was gone and I just shook my head at
them.
So we all sat there with the befuddled look men wear when
they are trying to rescue the life of the party by telling the
greatest tale ever told. But we were each stumped and sat for so
long staring at our drinks that we soon felt boredom's icy fingers
we had worked, and we had shot the breeze, and now the celebration
had reached the moving on stage; go out and show the world how
the New York Cafe and snort and grunt and scream. I knew this was
silly, like a little boy, and shyly said as much. But this too was
strip joint located in the gypsy part of town. He had gone there
twice and both times had feasted on the most amazing sight he had
the name escaped him right then, had lined up five hundred naked
women and took their picture and superimposed it onto the outside
spent two hours studying each and every breast and concluded that
breasts truly did come in all shapes and sizes. Although I had to
elicited a few rowdy comments from Sam and Daniel. But it was done
in fun.
go. We were still doing so fifteen minutes later when Jack and
"Yes."
279
"We heard about the civil war a few hours ago on the Sky
information."
"Eye witnesses."
"How so?"
"Yes."
"Love to."
"By the way what brings you here. A pickpocket lift your
explained to Sam.
great sleuth. The garment bag had a name tag attached to it with
"Yes," she said, "Dubuque, and wrote down the phone number
for every listing that had the same last name as on the baggage
tag."
"Yes," she said, "Newman, and then called every name on the
list."
"Yes," She said, "Good thing the guy didn't live in New York
said, "The man gave Jack the phone number of where his son worked
281
"My hero."
"Yeah," Sam replied. "But what brings you to the embassy. The
wheels."
think by this time Daniel, and Sam were totally befuddled. I know
I was. I was still back at when Jack had been talking to the
named Newman.
"Sounded like it. Anyway, he was very glad to hear from me.
He knew Newman well. Had recruited him right off the campus. When
I explained about the bag, he agreed to talk to him and set up the
what it sounds like. It's a benign arm of the C.I.A. They recruit
english teachers and send them all over the world. The idea is to
wallop packing hundred and one proof bourbon. Also I hadn't had
out. Newman. Dubuque. Garment bag. AID. CIA. El Salvador. The New
York Cafe. So one by one I discarded every fact but the name
283
"This can't be," Jack said, as amazed as Joanne.
plane ride over, say goodbye, and then by happenstance I meet you
demanded.
dwelled on Julie. But too many miles had transpired, and in truth
she seemed a million miles away. But the prospect of seeing her
floor of the Embassy. Sam had made introductions all around, but
except to mentally note that Mr. Rose's name suited him; thin and
and its customs was daunting enough, but she also had Anna to
attend to. Her husband could exchange bags well enough without
her.
say?"
"Oh, yes."
last I couldn't take the suspense any longer and rudely intruded
on the conversation going on. "I hate to break this up. But do you
285
"Oh, they are here."
"Yes."
Right then my face must of held a 'What the hell are we doing
for rambling on so. After all, we were busy men. "My office is
small, as Sam can attest to. So I'll go and fetch them and the
standing there all damn day gabbing. Jesus. Don't these embassy
stepped from his office. And but God damn, she was beautiful, I
thought. And then as I watched her walk toward me, I was struck by
two realism's. I loved her. And this love didn't matter. From the
onset our chance encounter had had an air of finality to it, and
and the movies say a man should be. Never mind the pain. Go ahead
doctor and amputate the limb. I'll just grit my teeth and bare it.
about it. I'd keep the conversation polite. Avert her eyes. Say
me, her eyes meeting mine, I lost all thought. Now it was only her
and I was vaguely aware that Daniel had taken the lead, and why,
and silently thanked him for it, and than the conversation was a
us. A second later a hand was rudely thrusted toward me, and when
searched for a substance in him. But there was none. Even his
clothes were greasy. The top two buttons of his polyester shirt
287
were unbuttoned and a gold chain shone out from his chest. This
for taking care of my wife and daughter during the flight. Would
of done so myself, but I left a few weeks ahead of her. You know
how it is?"
No I did not and did not want to know. Fortunately Anna was
him. She found what she was searching for and proudly held up a
children's diary.
Julie smiled down at her and said to me, "You staying much
longer."
whisper, "You mentioned you were only here for the week."
accept. Daniel knew this. He stood a few feet away, his hands
scene played out before. Sam too. I was about to politely decline
when her husband shocked me by abruptly taking her forearm and
arms length.
luck."
presented her with the coin, she stuffed it in her pocket and gave
me a great big hug. By this time Julie had returned. Her once
bright eyes were down turned and sad and doe like.
"Yes."
"Well."
"Well."
"Yes."
289
"Yes. What a great coincidence. Something to tell our grand
kids."
"I suppose."
"Well, we'll tell them anyway. The devil care what they
think."
This
nonsensical
chatter
could continue
forever
and in this
way forever
we'd be.
Our gaze said. But her husband had put on his jacket and was
glass behind him was the Embassy Emblem. From where I stood, he
the opening where the stairs met the hall, Anna waved goodbye.
291
Chapter Sixty Two.
The encounter with Julie had sobered me and from the moment
in the mood for company. Daniel and Sam were wise in the ways of
up about the bag and wanted to chatter on about Julie and her
husband and how strange the whole matter was. So I felt obligated
to drizzle a few blocks away from the New York Cafe and we all
covered our heads with our hands and ran; except for me. Joanne
saw this, and broke the skipping duck legged stride she was using
long enough to pause and laugh, "Com'on run. The last one there is
a rotten egg."
I knew she was being kind, what with Julie and this my last
night in Budapest. But I waved her on, and she continued skipping
duck leg style until she caught up with Jack who carried the
rain I decided against going to the New York Cafe. I didn't feel
for her because she was married to such a jerk. They wouldn't do
consideration for me. I was their friend, and as such the script
demanded that Edward play the asshole, and Julie the innocent
victim married to the asshole, and I the great and wonderful but
imagine that Edward right now was sitting amongst friends sipping
beer and playing out his own version of this same script.
didn't want to feel sorry for Edward. Daniel and Sam would
Once this decision was made, I was faced with where to go. I
the apartment. I'd pour myself some of Jack's scotch and sit in my
bedroom and watch the rain fall. Maybe if I was lucky, she'd be
good and drunk, I'd shout at the moon. After all I had done the
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Chapter Sixty Three.
derby was taking place there. And had I missed the flight to
Belgrade. I knew the latter because the sun outside the window
three laughing. There was also the smell of eggs and bacon. The
the food, I attempted to make out what they were saying, but I
could only make out a word here and there and after a while I
I had arrived home. I had immediately shed the wet clothing for a
towel, grabbed Jack's scotch off the kitchen table and went and
sat at the bedroom window facing the balcony. The window was open
and the breeze had been a bit cool. I had shivered from it. I
considered closing the window, but was too depressed to move. But
the scotch quickly eased this depression, and after a while the
cool breeze seemed almost warm. She wasn't there, of course. Her
I had first sat the bottle had been almost full, and after
the balcony long enough to fill the glass, she was there. The rain
caressed her body and cascaded at her feet into a puddle. But she
really wasn't there. It was just the rain and the dark playing
head spinning.
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Chapter Sixty Four.
She was out there now, and as always, was unabashed about
her nudity. The thunder storms from the previous night had cleaned
the sky of clouds, and she worked under a clear azure blue. As she
completed the downward motion of a knee bend, she removed one hand
from her hip and waved. I smiled. Of course she had not been on
the balcony last night. Seeing her had been an alcohol induced
abstinence.
tell her that I was leaving for the states in a few hours and
inviting her over for coffee. I quickly rejected the idea. There
barrier we had passed but a few words. Hello and Ovoce. And some
more about her life than I already knew would destroy this mystery
on it. I held the palm out, and softly blew. I was fairly sure
she'd understand the meaning and would not take offense. But one
never knew. But she didn't disappoint me. She paused and did the
same. But I still wasn't sure whether she understood the meaning
or was simply imitating me. But a second later when I turned away
from the window, I was sure. For she stood very still, the knee
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Chapter Sixty Five.
missing the flight, but I still felt like shit and preferring to
explain later, let it go. I went to the bathroom and set the
shower for as hot as I could bear. As the water steamed over me, I
noticed a black and blue bruise on my backside where the man had
struck me with the rife. I examined the bruise and found it was
tender and sore to the touch and let it be. Little by little the
against sharing the woman on the balcony with Daniel or Jack and
Joanne. I suppose this was childish of me, and not too unlike a
young boy who has a crush on his high school home room teacher but
the illusion. No, the lady on the balcony was mine and mine and
mine alone.
that I didn't want to get into such crap right now. Especially
right now.
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Chapter Sixty Six.
sleep with the same old problems, and awake to them. But somewhere
new day takes shape in the mind and yesterday's problems get
pushed onto the rear burner. Such it was with me. The tenderness
miles away. Even the eggs and bacon smelled good. So much so that
four hours.
coffee, then her own, returned the pot to the burner and sat.
on the matter.
"You leaving?"
few hours ago so I am forced to take the train to Prague and fly
"Great."
"Same," I answered.
said, "Six and eleven. I want to make the Six o'clock Train."
later departure and sleep. But I'll go to the train station with
I pushed the schedule aside and dug into the eggs. "What was
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"We wake you?" Joanne asked.
sleeping and the next I was awake and in pain. Damn scotch. How
about the other night when you came out of the bedroom naked and
me blush.
and leaf peeping. I think you two have a leaf peeping fetish."
you know."
about this. This complaint embarrasses and the injured party feels
compelled to defend, and Daniel and I did so, both agreeing that
this was usually the case but that we would write. As A follows B
the embarrassment passed from the injured party to the person who
made the complaint. But Jack came to Joanne's defense and admitted
And we did. And Joanne sent me copies of them and to this day
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Chapter Sixty Seven.
Daniel. He sat lazily at the table, his body english saying all
hurry was gone. And why not. There wasn't much for us to do. We
had traveled light, and packing what few possessions we had would
This done, I poured a half cup of coffee from the pot on the stove
"Yeah."
"My but you do have a way with the ladies," he said and
A pause.
Another pause.
"Naked huh."
"As a jaybird."
A much longer pause.
"Yeah, you."
"Sure, I had my ten days with her before she dumped me."
"I agree."
"Maybe?"
the holidays."
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Chapter Sixty Eight.
just two friends out for a stroll and if the conversation was
to say goodbye to Sam. He was out, and both of us left him a note.
we headed for the New York Cafe next. Stan also wasn't there.
Daniel had two bottles of Wild Turkey remaining from his stash and
left one for Stan. Both of us signed a note wishing him luck. By
this time it was two thirty and we headed for the Keleti Pu train
Europe, the Keleti Pu was A typical for the region. The structure
was concrete and steel with catacomb like open air archways
leading to the outside. Since the train was the main form of
travel in Eastern Europe, the station was a mecca for hordes of
tourists.
ten minutes."
inches to spare."
the train to Prague. Vendors abounded every few feet; some selling
coke, and beer, still others with magazines and newspapers laid
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was, raced through the corridor from the open archways. Outside of
five minutes, before Daniel made inquiries. A harried man told him
How long?
Thank you.
glasses filled with ice from a refreshment stand and went to one
of the arches that opened to the outside and hunkered down on the
floor. Daniel cracked open the Wild Turkey and for a while we
our eye, such as the family who had a bambie look alike on a
"Look."
"Yeah so?"
"I've watched them for a while now. Every time a pigeon comes
near, the gray one squeaks and jumps up and down and chases the
intruder away."
whiskey was affecting him, of this I was sure, and said so.
"Watch," he insisted.
"Suit yourself."
I did. But I had seen what the station had to offer thrice
was right, I thought. The gray pigeon stayed very close to the
on the same rafter they were on. Upon seeing the offending pigeon,
the gray pigeon puffed out its chest and cooed so fiercely that a
"How so?"
"He knows enough not to let another man get to close to his
mate."
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A pause.
"I know."
"Thanks."
"Yes, I know."
"I forget for a while. A month. Two. Three even. But than
slowly the truth seeps through the barricades; the whiskey, and I
begin to lose myself. Me. Just gone. You remember in the beginning
when she first left me how I was. Dead inside. When you're dead
But over the years when I feel this dead consuming me I've learned
time. The last few times this has happened, I think about Ted
"I feel dead inside right now. The war, the commander and the
men being executed. But most of it was seeing Julie and the look
on both your faces. How the hell does one remain neutral."
so much like his old self. The one to take charge. Hell, it was
him who had gotten us into Rumania and out. Had we gone without
most and I sat there staring at him. I knew as I watched him that
things would never be the same. I had been fooling myself. Maybe
Relive the old days with a friend and everything would be okay.
But nothing was okay. I had briefly met and fallen in love with a
woman named Julie and she was now lying in bed with another man; I
had met a man who had wanted to walk in the park and he was now
more then likely sleeping under six feet of dirt; and I had fallen
back in love with Daniel and he had not really been the Daniel of
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Chapter Sixty Nine.
I arrived in New York city all but brain dead. I had thought
about Daniel the entire trip and by the time the plane set down at
out of me. The air in New York always smells like exhaust fumes,
city slowly materialized from within the taxi, but the sights were
few people greeted me by name, then went back to whatever they had
been doing before I had walked in. Christie, the bar maid, rushed
up and threw her hands and arms around me and hugged. We had, off
and on, and in between seeing other people, dated each other for
some months and she purred on about how she had missed me, and how
naughty I was not to of written her, and did I want to go? She had
A promise of later. The pout fled. She laughed merrily and joined
three well known artists sitting at a table well away from the
bar. Greg was behind the bar and asked me how it was hanging. A
nothing but mineral water for years and gave me a funny look.
"That bad?"
"Worse."
glass and picked a table well away from everybody. And everybody
left me alone. That was the nice thing about Greg's. The regulars
knew enough to make you feel welcome, and knew enough to leave a
person alone. The tourists, well they were tourists, and this says
it all.
woman asked if she could join me. When I looked up from my drink
and saw who it was, I was not surprised. Greg's was an institution
in New York, and was like that. If you sat there long enough,
everybody who you knew since year one would come in. If you sat
Upon seeing her sit down, Greg, a towel draped over his arm,
came right over. While toweling off the table, he gave her an
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"No. The best. For a woman like this."
"Years," I replied.
around a table by the door. Her husband was among the group. "At
first I thought you were ignoring me. But soon after I realized
She took a deep breath and laughed. "I am glad. See my palms
are sweating."
"Why?"
look at the sour look on my face and went behind the bar.
"Daniel?"
"Right."
"I want you to be the man who was always fair and honest."
"He is my friend."
"Be honest."
"Why?
"Because."
"Because why?"
"Right."
"Be honest."
"See, we really can not get away from it. Not you and I."
"Right. He is my friend."
by sending you flowers or calling on you. You were his lover, you
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"He let me."
"I know."
I had read her from the moment she had sat down and had
"Because."
She was shaken for a moment, and her face turned pale,
showing as much.
"No."
goes."
"No. You are a bastard. You let me marry a man who was...You
"He let me! Don't you understand, he let me! What you did..."
like us, like me, who live outside of society, well we don't have
much. And we ain't much when it comes right down to it. We hop
least those of us who are worth a tinkers damn know, and yes those
of us who are not worth a tinkers damns also know, but they are
every now and then we meet somebody like you, a woman or a man who
because we know this person is just like us, that this person
not just seen pain, but felt it deep in the marrow of their
bones...like us. And every now and then one of us gets hustled,
for all the ones out there who gave their all and were destroyed
plenty out there like you willing. Now you're in my bar so get the
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She stood. But she lingered and I knew she was going for the
last word.
word. So when you get back over to your table, tell your husband
to come over."
for her to say, and she knew it. She was all shrunken up as she
went back to her table. A few minutes later the entire group left.
closing time Christie took me home. The bedspread was indeed soft.
So was the sheet. So was she. So was I. It was okay, she purred.
She would fix it. It was just a little thing. And after all any
End.
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