Ben Broughton One-Liners frankfromthehub@hotmail.

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WOMAN: I heard Northern GPs are more likely to give out

antidepressants – it really is grim up north.

MAN: This year in panto Ann Widdecombe is to play the minion to the
antagonist who aims to destroy the hard working little people –
I think she’s been typecast.

MAN: I’m making this video call on my new iPad Two, iPad owners
will be so jealous when they see me on the radio.

MAN: How can people think Murdoch will not have any influence over
Sky News when he has thirty-nine per cent of it? May I remind
you Cameron got thirty-six per cent of the votes and now he
runs the country.

MAN: News Corp is to spin off Sky News, it’s no surprise to me;
they’ve been spinning off news stories for years.

WOMAN: Jesus, I can’t believe the blasphemous posters by the British

Humanist Association this week. Can’t they approach such a
controversial matter with more poise - for Christ’s sake?

MAN: If Cameron really wants a no-fly zone imposed on Libya he

should offer Gaddafi the services of British Airways.

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Ben Broughton One-Liners frankfromthehub@hotmail.com

WOMAN: Theresa May is proposing a pay freeze for police. After the
freeze, the pay will be instructed to put its hands on its head
and it will have the right to remain silent.

MAN: I see the Royal Mail is to issue stamps featuring magical

characters – but even Dumbledore couldn’t make my letters
appear on time.

WOMAN: I can’t believe Ann Summers boss Jacqueline Gold was

poisoned by her nanny – that must have really got her knickers
in a twist.