I Have A TNT Show I’d Like To Pitch You

For those of you who don’t know, TNT KNOWS DRAMA. You
don’t believe me, check this shit out:

See. It says that shit right in their logo, and the word drama is
bolded, because they know it so well. You don’t do that unless
you know it super well. If TNT didn’t know drama that well, their
logo would say something like this:
But it doesn’t say that shit, does it? No. It says they know it. So,
when talking about drama, I think we should all assume a few
things based on TNT’s knowledge of it, which is far superior to
our own. From what I’ve been able to gather from TNT, Drama is
mostly about having a main character’s last name be part of the
title of the show, while also creating a double entendre that also
describes the show and the conflict that will be the thrust of
it. Now you might be thinking, “What if the last name of my
character is like ‘Jenkins’ or something that can’t be used as a
double entendre? What should I do then?” Answer: STOP
BEING A F&*KIN’ IDIOT AND FIND A NAME THAT CAN.
Sometimes though, TNT throws you a curveball and is like “You
think you know Drama, BOOM, YOU DON’T BITCH.” Like in
the example of their brand new show below, where they took the
name of the main character and they put the job she does IN THE
NAME.
See, when they pitched this, they were probably like “Her name is
Hawthorne, and the name of the show is Hawthorne.” And then
the executives were like “I don’t get it,” and then the writers
looked at each other and were like ‘THE RN IS CAPITALIZED,
BOO F*&KING YEAH!” and then the whole room, executives
included, went Game-7-Walk-Off-Homerun-Apeshit and everyone
hi-fived each other for about four and a half minutes until one of
them sighed a sigh to signifity how satisfying that reveal was.
Lastly, the most important thing about drama is that drama is about
showing cops, doctors, or lawyers. The more you have those
people in your show, the more drama you get in your show. You
don’t think so? Allow me to let TNT whip it’s dick out and smack
you in the face.
So, after learning all this from TNT, we decided that we have come
up with the most dramatic show that has ever been thought of in
the history of the world. I bring you……
That’s right, his name is John Broom, and he’s a lawyer, cop, and
doctor. You could also call this show “BROOM: Lacopter,” which
would be super cool as well. Basically Mr. James Woods plays
John Broom, a loose cannon who doesn’t play by the rules of the
police deparment, Hospital, or law firm, all of whom employ him.
At each place of employment, the guy in charge totally wants to
fire Broom, but Broom is just too god damned good at his job. The
pilot of the show, he chases down a criminal through the streets of
Los Angeles, and then shoots him. The cops arrive and they’re
like “You’re out of control Broom!”

Then the criminal has to go to the emergency room, because

Broom shot him, and Broom is there to operate on him, and the
doctors say some shit like “He’s lost too much blood, we can’t
operate on him,” and Broom cuts open one of HIS OWN VEINS
and just starts transfusing blood straight from his vein to the
criminals veins, all the while operating with his other hand, and the
doctors are like “this is outrageous, totally against protocol!” but
Broom saves the criminal’s life.
Then the district attorney comes in and is like, “we have all the
evidence we need to bust this guy,” and Broom takes off his doctor
scrubs and he’s wearing a suit, and he’s like “Not if I have
anything to do with it,” , and then the last act of the show, he
defends the criminal in court and proves the guy is innocent. Then
the super hot city prosecutor chick that totally wants to fuck
Broom turns to him and is like “Looks like you swept up this mess,
huh….Broom?” And Broom is like, “If only I could sweep you off
your feet.” Even though he totally could, but doesn’t because the
sexual tension is awesome.

BOOM, show ends. So, anyway, can someone forward this to

TNT so they don’t have to waste a bunch of time on some other
show?