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 AN EXCERPT FROM
 
31
Don’t Peak in High School
S
OMETIMES TEENAGE
girls ask me for advice about whatthey should be doing if they want a career like mine one day.There are basically two ways to get where I am: (1) learn a pro- vocative dance and put it on YouTube; (2) convince your parentsto move to Orlando and homeschool you until you get cast on a kids’ show,
or 
do what I did, which is (3) stay in school and be a respectful and hardworking wallflower, and go to an accreditednon-online university.Teenage girls, please don’t worry about being super popularin high school, or being the best actress in high school, or thebest athlete. Not only do people not care about any of that thesecond you graduate, but when you get older, if you referenceyour successes in high school too much, it actually makes youlook kind of pitiful, like some babbling old Tennessee Williamscharacter with nothing else going on in her current life. WhatI’ve noticed is that almost no one who was a big star in highschool is also big star later in life. For us overlooked kids, it’s sowonderfully 
 fair.
I was never the lead in the play. I don’t think I went to a singleparty with alcohol at it. No one offered me pot. It wasn’t until Iwas sixteen that I even knew marijuana and pot were the samething. I didn’t even learn this from a cool friend; I gleaned it
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Stewart Mackeyleft a comment

Also, let the record show that I have had no knowledge of you prior to now. If you are spoken for then, of course, I will stand aside with grace. If not, however, then be sure that I did just ask you out on a date. greenfalcon737@yahoo.com. Peace in, beautiful Mindy.
01 / 06 / 2012
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Stewart Mackeyleft a comment

Oh CRAP! I didn't know you were 32 when I wrote what I wrote!!! I thought I was writing to a 25 year old. Wow. You probably have kids of your own, Mindy. Sorry If I came off all grandfatherly to you. Not only are you lovely, but a quick mind is such a weakness for me. So here it is. I just know a date with you would be a kick in the head. You're like a mental shrapnel filled land mine!
01 / 06 / 2012
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Stewart Mackeyleft a comment

I saw you on Conan for the first time, and liked your personality so much (because you must be real and honestly you, for no person can act that real that well) that I decided to stop by and drop you a line. When my girls are older, I think they will have to read your book. I too, like your wise parents, am a cruel dictator, pushing them to be nerds!!! God bless you good lady. I am the Falcon
01 / 06 / 2012
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Justin Henegarleft a comment

Interesting and funny so far! About to traverse to the town Barnes and Noble for further reading.
11 / 03 / 2011
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Scribdleft a comment

Check out an excerpt from Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me by writer/producer/actress Mindy Kaling (who plays Kelly Kapoor on "The Office")!
07 / 26 / 2011
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