Gym Divorce
www.disasteronheels.com While I often write about my single life, what I haven¶t really talked about is the fact that I actually
have
been divorced. Just not in the traditional way. The wedding was without ceremony. In fact, we skipped itall together. It was a split decision, an arrangement of convenience. But still, it shaped the person I amtoday.After I moved out from the apartment I shared with my ex, I moved in with my best friend, David. It wason his couch that I nursed myself back to mental health, one spoonful of Haagen-Dazs at a time. After watching this routine for several weeks, David decided ³we´ should get a gym membership, before my loveaffair with ice cream killed any legitimate chances of a rebound. I liked the idea, but there was no way Icould afford it²that gym was more than $120 a month, and even if I could pay, I¶d proven thatcommitment was not my strong suit. Which is when David made me an offer I couldn¶t refuse.³Let¶s get married,´ he said, turning off the TV. Now this took me by surprise for several reasons. One, I never thought I¶d be proposed to with a pint of dulce de leche in my hand. And two, David is gay.³I¶m not sure this will be a satisfying union,´ I said.³If we are µmarried¶ we can be on the same gym membership. Domestic partners count, and you¶re livingwith me. It¶s not even lying.´³I DO!´ I yelled, raising my spoon in the air.And while I moved out from David¶s condo shortly thereafter, we continued our covert marriage for morethan a year. I celebrated anniversaries with saunas, towel service, and lavender body lotion. And I lovedevery second.