Professional Documents
Culture Documents
3 V of Communication
Verbal:What you say:the message Vocal: How you say: music of your voice Visual: How you seem&who are you Most powerful element of communication is: Visual ! Give importance to visual self, as much as the knowledge and experience.
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Problems in Sending
using technical words for communication to nontechnical people forgetting that the visual and vocal elements are the most important, words less. Ignoring the situation, expectencies and interests of the listener according to their expertise.
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Perception Problems
Listeners ability to understand. Lack of attention, inattentive or bored listeners Emotional state, stress, fear, anxiety, anger, Financial pressures Prejudgements Be sure that the receiver is on
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supporting
controlling
indirectness
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Briefly direct-indirect-Verbal
Indirect Asks (Would you like to sit down?) Listens Reserves Opinions Low quantity of verbal communication Direct Tells( Have a sit or sit down) Talks Expresses opinions readily Lots of verbal communications
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Briefly direct-indirect-Vocal
Indirect Steady, even delivery Less forceful Lower volume Slower speech patterns Direct More voice variety More forceful Higher volume Faster speech patterns
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Briefly direct-indirect-Visual
Indirect Gently handshake Intermitten eyecontact Limited gestures to empasize points Exhibits patience Direct Firmly handshake Steady eye contact Gestures to emphasize points Displays impatience
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Self assesment
First Are you more direct or indirect? Are you more supporting or controlling? Second Think of a difficult person with whom would like to communicate better. Source of the difficulty is the differency of personal styles.
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Indirect (slowpace)
Direct (fast-paced)
(task oriented)
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The Socializer I
Socializers are direct and supportive Friendly,enthusiastic, action people Like applause, admiration, compliments Tend to place more priority to relations than tasks, like to have fun and enjoy life They influence others with great persuasion.
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The Socializer II
Need interaction and contact with people Are risk taker and based on more intuition. Act and decide spontaneously Are concerned with approval and appearences Think emotionally Think about the big picture, get bored with details
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The Socializer IV
Jump from one activity to another Work quickly and excitedly with others Seek esteem and acknowledgement from others Disorganised, touchers, motivational For balance they need to control their time, and emotions, be more objective, concentrate on the task, take more logical approach to projects, spend more time with checking, verifying, specifying
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The Director I
Directors are direct and controlling They are driven by an inner need to take charge of situations Are firm in their relationships with others, oriented toward productivity and goals and concerned with bottomline results They may seem tough, impatient, stubborn
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The Director II
Need to be in charge, dislike action Act quickly and decisively Think logically, power oriented Want facts and highlights Strive for results, sometimes workholic Need personal freedom to manage self and others
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The Director IV
Have a tendency to engage in arguments and conflict, decisive, precise, efficient Have good administrative skills Always in a hurry and talk business shortly For more balance they need to learn active listening, patience, sensitivity, humility, respect to rules, team work, to show concern to others, project more relaxed image
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The Thinker I
Thinkers are both indirect and controlling. Analytical, persistent, problem-solver Security conscious, in high need to be right Slow to reach a decision but decisive Uncomfortable with illogical people Are non-contact people, not touchers
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The Thinker II
Think logically and analytically Need data Need to be right Like organization and structure Ask many questions about specific details Prefer objective, task oriented intellectual work environment
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The Thinker IV
Disciplined about time, rigid, like charts&graphics Critical for their own performance Tend to be accountants, engineers, computer programmers, system analysts, architects, chemists, physician, maths. For balance they need to improve timely decisionmaking, initiation of new projects, to show concern for others, try timesavers&shortcuts Adjust more disorganization and change,
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The Relater I
Relaters are supporting and indirect. They are the most people-oriented of all 4 Having close, friendly, personal relations with others is one of the their most important objectives, and dislike conflict. Have good counselling skills and supportive Excellent listenners and like good listeners
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The Relater II
Concerned with stability Think logically Want documentation and facts Need personal involvement Take action and make decisions slowly Need to know step by step sequence Avoid risks and changes
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The Relater IV
Have strong networks of people like them Unassertive, warm, reliable, soft-hearted Compliant, slow in taking action, avoid risk Good trust builders, good team players Thet are irritated by pushy, agressive people Ideal occupations are counselling,teaching, social work, nursing, human resources,
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The Relater V
Primary strenghts of Relaters are caring for and loving others They like others to be friendly, courteous, genuine, responsible and sensitive For more balance need to learn to say no , to be more task-oriented and less sensetive for others, be willing to reach from comfort zone to set goals and to delegate it to others.
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One-Dimensional Adapting
Sometimes you may want to adapt your style but you may be not sure what style the other person has. If you recognised one dimension, you may adapt yourself in that way and this may be enough.
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Increasing Directness I
If the person is Direct (moves and speaks quickly; readily expresses thoughts and feelings) you can increase the directness of your conversation by the following: Speaking in a faster pace Initiating conversations and decisions Giving recommendations and not asking for opinions
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Increasing Directness I
Using direct statements rather than roundabout questions Communicating with a strong, confident voice Challenging and tactfully disagreeing when appropriate Facing conflict openly but not initiating it Increasing eye contact
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Increasing Indirectedness I
If the person is Indirect (moves and speaks more slowly, is cautious in expressing personal thoughts and feelings,and in making decisions) you can increase your Indirectedness by the following: Talking and making decisions more slowly Seeking and acknowledgin the opinions of others Sharing decision-making and leadership
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Increasing Indirectness II
Showing less energy, Being more mellow. Not interrupting Providing pauses to allow other person speak Refraining from criticizing, challenging, or acting pushy Choosing words carefully when disagreeing
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Increasing Supportingness I
If the person is Supporting( motivated by relationships and feelings), you can increase your Supportingness by the following: Sharing your feelings and letting your emotions show Responding to the expression of others feeling
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Increasing Supportingness II
Paying personal compliments Taking time to develop relationship Using friendly language Communicating more, loosening up, and standing closer Be willing to digress from the agenda, going with the flow
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Increasing Controllingness I
If the person is Controlling (motivated by the task at hand and accomplishing goals) you can increase your controllingness by following: Getting right to the task or the bottom line Maintaining more of a logical, factual orientation
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Increasing Controllingness I
Keeping to the agenda Leaving when the work is done; not wasting time Not initiating physical contact Downplaying enthusiasm and body movement Using businesslike language
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We learned that
Dynamic communication that persuades influences requires a speaker and a listener who are on the same wavelenght By understanding 4 styles, you have the basis for expanding your communication potential People are different in communication It is possible to avoid from pitfalls It is possible to be speaking as multistyle
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Next Lesson
We will work on Verbal and Nonverbal Communication
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Verbal Communication
Sending the messages verbally. We may use 4 styles for efficient sending. Receiving the messages accurately. We need active listening, asking questions and giving feedback
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Listening
The most important skill of a manager is ...?.. Ineffective or poor listening is the most frequent causes of misunderstandings, mistakes, unhappy customers, low morale emloyee, missed sales, in private life divorces and parent-child conflicts. Poor listeners seem disinterested, self-centered
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Nonlistening I
The nonlistener does not hear the speaker at all. In fact, no effort is made to hear the speaker. Recognized by her blank stare and nervous mannerism and gestures Non listener wants to do all or most of the speaking, constantly interrupts, always has to have the last word.
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Nonlistening II
The nonlistener is usually considered a social boor and know-it-all, perceived as insensitive and nonunderstanding. The nonlistener is typically disliked or merely tolerated
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Marginal Listening I
Hears the sounds and the words but not the meaning and intent. The message is not really heard. Just stays on the surface of the argument or problem, never risking to go deeper.Try to find noises to have an excuse for not deeply listening. Prefer to listen only for the data, bottom line instead of main ideas.
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Marginal Listening II
Marginal listening is hazardous, because misunderstanding are possible. In 1st level speaker may notice the non-listener but may not notice the marginal listeners level of understanding. In workplace, it is a source of low morale, misunderstandings, errors and problems.
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Evaluative Listening I
More concentration and attention are required at this level. The evaluative listener is actively try to hear what the speaker is saying but is not making An effort to understand the speakers intent. Tends to be a logical listener, more concentrated about the content than feelings.
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Evaluative Listening II
Evaluative listener tends to stay away emotionally from the conversation. Evaluates the message strictly on the basis of words delivered, totally ignoring that part of the message carried in the speakers vocal intonation, body language and facial expressions. Thinks that she understand but the speaker does not think so.Critizes speakers dressing or count the buzzy words
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Active Listening I
Unquestionably the most comprehensive and powerfull level of listening. Demanding and tiring because it requires the deepest level of concentration, attention and mental as well a emotional processing effort. Active listener refrains from coming to judgement about the speakers message, instead focusing on understanding her point of view.
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Active Listening II
Attention is concentrated on the thoughts and the feelings of other person as well as the spoken word. To listen in this manner requires our initial suspension of our own thoughts and the feelings in order to give attention solely to the message and intent of the speaker. emphaty. It requires listener give verbal&nonverbal feedback to the speaker what is totally being understood. 96
As Listening skill, research allows you to clarify the message, go to deeper topic. As research tools asking questions and giving feedback let the communication flow easier. If only speaker is talking listeners only listen, this can create tension and suspicion on the part of speaker. Skillfull research help listener to reveal inner feelings, motives, needs, goals an desires. Another technique is emphathy statements. 105
Emphathy statements proves your attention. Encourage speaker to share feelings. It is a good way to get people open up and share thoughts with you. Gives opportunity to the speaker refine, expand or correct message By affirming the speakers feelings, build an emotional bound between the speaker &the listener.
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Questioning Strategies I
All forms of communication are improved by planning and understanding the focus of the communication. Questioning is similar. In questioning, or for starting a conversation, you may start with an open, broad question and you may go deeper by choosing any information you received.Tell me about.., How, what or why could be show your interest to the other persons situation.
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Types of Feedback
Feedback comes in a number of forms. There is verbal, nonverbal, fact and feeling types. Each serves a specific purpose in the communication process. Verbal Feedback: It is the type which we are most frequenty aware of and most often use.With verbal feedback, you can accomplish a number of favorable objectives such as:
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Types of Feedback-Verbal I
1. to ask for clarification of a message. 2. To give positive and/or negative strokes to the other person. 3. To determine how to structure a presentation that will be meaningful and effective for the other person. 1. to ask for clarification of a message. To improve the accuracy and clarity of a message during a conversation, use clarifying feedback statements such as the following:
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Types of Feedback-Verbal II
Let me be sure I understand what youve said Lets see if I can review the key points weve discussed. I hear you saying..... I think I hear you saying that your central concern is... As I understand it, your major objectives are..
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Types of Feedback-Verbal IV
Using feedback is mostly very critical in the workplace. There is only one way to know if the message you are receiving is the same as the message being sent.That is by asking for clarification, or restating the message with your own words and asking for verification of your understanding.
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Types of Feedback-Verbal V
2. To give positive and/or negative strokes to the other person. When a person does something positive that behaviour needs to be positively reinforcement. Simple statements are in order such as: The project report you did was clear and concise. Nice job, You made it really easy for the for the comittee to understand the issues, I really appreciate the extra effort you put in. and
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Types of Feedback-Verbal VI
You are doing an excellent job staying with budget.These statements tell the person specifically what you recognize and appreciate. Given in a timely and consistent manner, this type of feedback lets the person know what kind of performance is required. It encourages them to continue with similar performance.
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Types of Feedback-Verbal IX
It is important to make sure you give the person enough specific information so that he can correct his performance in the future. 3. During presentation: By asking simple questions, you can determine whether a presentation is working, whether to proceed in the current direction or modify the approach.
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Types of Feedback-Verbal X
For example in a project planing presentation you may ask, after general brief summary as Would you like me go into the details of this project, or do you have some other questions that youd like to ask me first? allows you to determine the persons present state of mind or level of receptivity. I sometimes move along so quickly. Is it proper or would you prefer if we go on more slowly for your better understanding?
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Types of Feedback-Nonverbal I
Nonverbal means the message of positive or negative attitudes, feelings, opinions that you give by using our bodies, eyes, faces, postures and senses. You do this consiously or unconsciously, just as others do with you. The sensitive, perceptive communicator uses the nonverbal feedback he or she is getting from the other person to structure the content and direction of the message.
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Types of Feedback-Nonverbal II
The result is a positive continuance of the interaction and increased trust and credibility in the relationship. The # of the nonverbal feedback is not as important as how you interpret it and react to it. These signals help you realize when you are loosing the other persons interest. You can react by changing your pace, topic or style to recapture the persons interest or trust
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Types of Feedback-Nonverbal IV
Mixed messages create tension, distrust. Rightly and wrongly, the person feels that you are purposely hiding something. It is extremely important to keep your verbal and nonverbal messages syncronized. As we mentioned in listening acknowledgement is very important. People do not want to speak to people who do not respond or show any emotion. They want to see feedback to feel safe.
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Types of Feedback-Fact I
Like fact-finding questions, fact feedback is about specific data and information. Fact feedback is asking a spesific, closed question or making a spesific statement of the facts as you know it and asking for clarification. When you are depending on the other peoples facts and they are depending on yours, it is critical to get and give the information exactly. Fact feedback is also used in words.
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Types of Feedback-Fact II
Due to recent layoffs, all employees are expected to work harder. There will be a short wait for a table. Dont spend too much time on that job. In this company, we are liberal and democratic. Major credit cards are excepted We will be visiting NY&Chicago . We expect to open our first unit there.
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Types of Feedback-Feeling I
What are the underlying causes and motivations behind her message and her facts? How much personal feelings does her message carry for her? How does she really feel about what she is saying to you? Does she know whether her message is really getting through to you, at feeling level? All these questions underscore the importance of feeling feedback. 165
Types of Feedback-Feeling II
Feeling feedback is especially important in organizations.. Perhaps because it is so seldom requested. The old school of business etiquette believed that feelings had no place at work. Personal lives, feelings and emotional involvements were to be left in entrance of the work. We know today that this is impossible and not useful also.
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Types of Feedback-Feeling IV
Organizations are a complex web of people working to achieve a common purpose. As organizational life becomes more complex and more demanding, it requires the full commitment of each member to achieve the organizational goals. Full commitment requires an environment of trust that allows each person to express his or her thoughts and feelings openly.
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Types of Feedback-Feeling V
Organizations that request and provide a high level of feeling feedback understand that the feelings of each person are critical part of the communication process. It is as important to understand the feelings inherent in a message, as it is to understand the facts of the message.
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Types of Feedback-Feeling VI
Feeling Feedback should be two-directional: You need to make effort to understand the feelings, emotions and attitudes that underlie the messages that come to you. In addition, you should clearly project feeling feedback to the other person to let her know that her message has gotten through to you, at feeling level.
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Types of Feedback-Feeling IX
Fact feedback is meeting of minds, feeling feedback is meeting of hearts. It is just effective use of empathy.When you can really experience the other persons true feelings and understand where she is coming from and project this emotional awareness to her, it serves to reinforce rapport, lower interpersonal tension, and significantly increase trust. Supporting behaviours and nonverbal signals are important in feeling feedback process.
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Conflict Resolution
People naturally disagree about what to do, how to do, and when to do it. That interaction of ideas and opinions sparks new ideas and leads to better solutios and plans of action. However when differences of opinion are accompanied by too much emotional committment, the resulting conflict can be damaging.
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Nature of Conflict
Conflict does not need to be destroying. Open communication without emotional explosions is the key method for resolution. Thre are three components of conflict: 1. Two or more persons are involved 2. There are different perceptions of ideas, actions, beliefs or goals. 3. The opposing sides see their way as the only way.
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4 Components of Collaboration I
1. Understanding&Respecting: Collaboration assumes an equality for all parties.The goals and objectives of each person are presented equally regardless the positions. All of the goals and objectives need to be ranked and evaluated logically with participation of all the parties. Each member tries to stay focused on the organizations goals rather than on individual objectives. Tone of voice
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4 Components of Collaboration II
2. Assertiveness:For a collaboration to succeed, each person must feel safe in expressing his ideas and opinions. Each position needs to be presented as powerfully possible. People often confuse assertiveness with agression. Agression is assertiveness without regard for the needs of the other person. Assertiveness says: Heres my position..Whats yours.? Agression is: Heres my position..Take it or leave it.
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Details of Confrontation
Confrontation process allows you to get at the root causes of the conflict in a productive manner. You are indirectly trying to say. Lets exchange ideas-pleasantly and comfortably. I will try to hear you will take your opinion into account before I state mine. Than I want you hear my opinions and them into account. Once we have exchanged our opinions, we will decide on the best option. This is not a contest for superiority.
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Levels of Confrontation I
There are levels of confrontation which starts with understanding till behavioural change. 1. Reflection: Demonstrate your sincere desire to understand the persons feelings and needs. You gather data and build rapport with the person. By reflecting the feelings you hear the person expressing, you give him a chance to correct your impression ant to work on your comment. An example:
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Levels of Confrontation II
I understand that you feel/think___________ because________________. I understand that you feel unappreciated because you are not invited to the weekly staff meetings.
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Levels of Confrontation IV
3. Diplomatic Disagreement: In the diplomatic disagreement stage you try to achieve understanding in a gentle, tactful manner. You want the other person to understand your reasoning and you try to understand his. You want the person to know that you value the relationship. The format for this stage includes reflection & I statement.
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Levels of Confrontation V
You feel/think________________. I appreciate your position and understand that __________. I understand that you think we need a new computer. I appreciate your position and realize that you think it will improve our productivity. I believe we should wait because a new model is about to be released.
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Levels of Confrontation VI
4. Gentle Confrontation: In gentle confrontation you try to cause a change in behaviour and built the relationship at the same time. You want to suggest the change in a tactful manner. The format includes reflection, an indication that other person is valued, an I statement and indication od consequences. Format and the example:
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Levels of Confrontation IX
5. Firm Confrontation: In the firm confrontation you try to clear up disagreements and cause a definite change in behaviour. The change in behaviour is your primary objective. The added statement is in the format: I would appreciate it in the future if you would__________. In the future I would appreciate it if you would come to me for any special early payment requests.
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Confrontation
It is a powerful conflict resolution strategy which requires a great deal of skill and practice. When it applies # of conflicts can be resolved more productively. It is also important to remember that people only change when it is in their best interest to do so. You can not change anyone but canmotivate someone to change.
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