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HAPPINESS
Finding Joy in Everyday Relationships
Wisdom in a Nutshell
If you are looking for a guide to human relationships, this is the simple and
wonderful way to discover how we can enhance our joy in other people. If you
are looking for a way to manipulate others into doing your bidding, this is not
the book for you. The 12 Simple Secrets are outlined with clarity, they are:
! Generosity
! Hope
! Kindness
! Friendship
! Empathy
! Love
! Forgiveness
! Acceptance
! Understanding
! Encouragement
! Communication
! Gratitude
If you are seeking more out of life and your relationships, this is the book for
you. Become the person everyone loves to be around. Loaded with useful
advice to help you in nurturing friendships, marriages, family, and work
relationships, in easily digestible chapters, 12 Simple Secrets of Happiness is
a life manual stemming from the universal rules of unconditional love and
respect. Learn to accept people for who they are, identify what people need to
feel good about themselves, make your relationships blossom, get along with
difficult people, effectively deal with conflict, develop a sincere interest in
others, build on people's positive qualities, encourage, and forgive.
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BestSummaries.com. Copyright © 1997 by Colin Rose and Malcolm J. Nicholl.
12 SECRETS OF HAPPINESS by Glenn Van Ekeren
Friendship
Your best friend is the one who brings out the best in you. "The purpose of life is not to win. It is to
Success and fulfillment in life are in direct proportion
grow and to share. You will get more satisfaction
to the investment we make in people. If somebody out of life from the pleasure you have brought
spent one whole day with you, would he feel filled up into other people's lives than you will from the
or sucked dry?
! Show your gratitude times you outdid and defeated them."
! Encourage and give positive reinforcement -Rabbi Harold Kushner
Love is right, at least until the air is calm. Wait until you can
both discuss the matter rationally. When you think
There will always be problems in a marriage. The
about arguing back, is it really worth it to disrupt the
way you handle these problems will show the test of
wonderful Friday evening you reserved for her? Give
your commitment. Nourishing a relationship takes
in. Take up the subject when she is no longer agitated.
work; there will always be problems and IT IS
A gentleman always allows the woman to win the
WORTH THE EFFORT to work through these
argument.
problems.
! Say, "I love you" often. And if you can't let it go, think again, is it really worth it
! Kiss and hug often.
to make such a fuss and cause disharmony? Will it
! Compliment your spouse sincerely.
! Always treat each other with respect. matter tomorrow?
! Go on weekly dates and vacations, without ! How to create a relationship masterpiece:
the children.
! Give more than you get
! Husbands, do that extra household chore. ! Allow people to have their space
! Maintain confidentiality
With other human beings respect and courtesy
! Give supportive and positive advice
! Be loyal
apply, as well as: ! Listen!
! Be persistent in showing your love. ! Treat others with dignity
! Don't expect a return. ! Say "please" and "thank you"
! Be agreeable
! Accept other people's opinions
! Forgive wrongs committed
Forgiveness
Keeping bridges in good repair
! If you cannot forgive, you cannot move on. "Some people ask the secret of our long
! It takes a bigger. stronger type of person to
forgive.
marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant
! Be the first to ask forgiveness. two times a week. A little candlelight dinner,
! Don't dwell on the hurt.
! Pray. soft music, and dancing. She goes Tuesdays.
! Write a letter and show a desire to resolve I go Fridays." – -Henny Youngman
the conflict
! Focus on the future
! Replace selfishness with unconditional love
! Make time to keep relationships in good
order
! Be willing to say "I'm sorry" without
conditions
! To mutilate a child's spirit is a grave sin. ·
Understanding
Speak their language
Let go.
! Forgiving an enemy puts you above No amount of intelligence, talent or education will
everyone else. Revenge puts you at par replace the gift of being able to understand the other
with the enemy. Being the first to strike person.
makes you less admirable.
People will do things for their own reasons, not for
yours.
Acceptance When you listen, practice staying silent until the other
My wife is always right person finishes speaking.
Sometimes you need to say perhaps the other party See things from the other person's point of view. The
child is different from the adult. A woman sees things ! Keep an open mind.
differently and feels things differently from a man. An ! Be silent.
Asian has a different experience from a European. ! Take notes.
Consider how others might be feeling in order to ! Prepare your reply only after the person has
reach a clearer understanding. finished.
! Nod, smile, agree and lean forward.
! Ask questions to clarify.
! Don't allow how something is said to distract
you from the essence of the message.
Encouragement ! Paraphrase to see if you have an accurate
Create high expectations for people and let them picture of the message.
know you believe in them more than they believe in
themselves. Rent the movie Stand and Deliver, it's a Conflict Resolution 101
true story about how calculus teacher Jaime ! Strive for mutual benefit
Escalante motivates the high school kids to prove ! Seek understanding
their value.
! Focus on the facts
! Avoid insults
The next time you hear criticism hurled at you:
! Find a point of agreement
! Consider the source. It is the person who ! Generate solutions
! Determine a win-win plan of action
can't dance who complains about the
uneven floor. A frustrated person likes to
pick on others.
! Smile. Disarm your critic.
! Expect it but don't accept it. The best way to Gratitude
Show it!
silence your critics and not waste energy is
to agree with them and get on with life. Here are some phrases to get you started:
! Don't take it personally. ! I appreciate the way you…
! Ponder the benefits. Maybe that critic hit a ! I'm impressed with …
button that needs to be addressed. ! You are terrific because…
! Thanks for…
! One of the things I love about you is…
! I admire your…
! Great job with…
Communication ! I really enjoy working with you because…
For men only! ! Our team wouldn't be successful without
A doctor marked a distinct difference in the listening your…
skills of men and women. Women are wired to listen
! Thank you for your…
! You made my day when…
and can hook into another person's emotions and ! I am proud of you and how you handled…
needs. Men are not wired that way. They can't read ! You did an outstanding job of…
subtle signals. Messages have to be spelled out for ! I like your…
them. ! You deserve a pat on the back for…
! Develop a willingness to listen ! You have gift for…
! Be open-minded ! I believe you can do it
! Be attentive, think about what she is saying, ! I enjoy being around you because…
not what you want to say when she's done.
! Maintain comfortable eye contact. Don't
stare. Value your friends
! Don't guess what she'll say next. ! Your friends will support you through failures
! Refrain from interrupting. and celebrate your successes
! Be patient. ! Your friends will love you no matter what an
! Listen for the unspoken message. idiot you made of yourself when you drank
too much
! Choose your friends well because you will
become like them
! A true friend knows everything about you
but loves you just the same.
Copyright 2004 6 of 6
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