Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Increase Energy
High energy is important to all self change. To begin, you must have enough energy to care about making a change. Those who are always tired, lethargic or depressed seldom have the energy or focus to act in their own behalf, which is essential to creating your own reality. So energy is the logical place to begin a book about fixing your life. Although we are all born with different energy levels, there are steps you can take to assure that you are maximizing your energy potentials. As the following 24 points will show, high energy results from factors we can avoid, dietary and supplement choices we make, and lifestyle decisions about exercise and the way we spend our time. The first six energy-increasing tips explore the primary energy robbers.
even further out. Then repeat the process. Several minutes of this deep breathing will generate deep relaxation. In the future, remember to B-R-E-A-T-H-E!
7. Act Vigorous!
Long hours spent at your occupation or activities will cause fatigue, which is usually noticed as a loss of focus. In most cases, instead of physical rest, your brain needs
physical stimulation to rejuvenate itself. And the best way to quickly increase energy may be to act vigorous. The new psychotherapies claim behavior wags the tail of feelings. In other words, you dont have to change your thinking to change your life, if you are willing to change what you are doing. Act vigorous and youll soon begin to feel vigorous.
blood sugar balanced. The idea of three square meals a day is not based upon dietary wisdom, but was established to accommodate workers in an industrial age. If you eat a series of mini-meals, each meal doesnt need to be balanced, but the total meals should fulfill a nutritional balance. The idea is to spread out the same amount as you would eat in three meals. Eating mini-meals also keeps you from overeating at any one meal, which usually results in an energy slump. The concept of five to seven mini-meals is also suggested as a way to lose weight.
An excess of foods containing sugar and refined white flour will eventually rob you of your health and energy. Replace red meat with fish, chicken and turkey, and only buy meats that are hormone free and contain no nitrates. Both are believed to cause cancer. Eat more vegetables, fruits and 100-percent whole-grain bread, cereal and pasta products. And it goes without saying that you will be wise to stop smoking and eliminate most alcohol.
Energy is drained by fear-based emotions such as anger, hate, guilt, jealousy, repression, greed, envy, insecurity, resentment, blame and the list goes on and on. The fears can be resolved through therapy or human-potential awareness. They wont go away until you face them and act.
Affirmations
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
I awaken each morning enthusiastic about my day. Every day I take time to stretch and exercise. I always drink enough fluids to avoid becoming thirsty. Nutritious healthy food now becomes my lifestyle. When I want to be vigorous, I act vigorous. Joy is always my best option. I remember to breathe deeply. I seek to associate with positive, happy, successful people. I handle compulsive thoughts with positive programming. I view everything that happens as an opportunity.
I project high energy and enthusiasm into everything I do. I am filled with energy. I am excited and enthusiastic about my life. I awaken each morning enthusiastic about my day.
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performance, learning, and brain function, as well as decreased depression and lowered anxiety. Memory, attention span and motivation are also positively affected by exercise.
turmoil and anxiety decrease thinking ability. It may seem difficult to deliberately force yourself not to worry, but worry is directly related to physical tension. Ease the tension and your mind will follow. Soothing music, deep breathing, meditation, yoga, and progressive relaxation training are useful to achieve a calm emotional state and reduce mental clutter.
in extreme nervousness and irritability. A high level of zinc has been shown to have a significant relationship to high academic grades in many recent studies of brain function. Zinc deficiency can cause mental lethargy and apathy. And manganese functions synergistically with the B vitamins to nourish the nerves and brain, aiding in the transmission of neural messages.
the drink will affect the thermometer. Youll see a pattern of peaks and dips corresponding to your mental performance pattern. Once you identify your personal peak times, you can take full advantage of them.
mind and decrease productivity and efficiency. Learn to organize your surroundings. Consider taking a course in organizing skills at a local college.
11. Trace minerals are important. 12. When you eat is important. 13. Sound sleep is important. 14. Your body-heat patterns correspond to your mental alertness. 15. Avoid loud environments. 16. Light affects behavior. 17. Ion ratios affect your brain. 18. Allergies affect brain function. 19. Improve your concentration to boost your brain power. 20 Creativity can be developed. 21. Learn to think laterally. 22. Stress is enemy #1. 23. Use self-hypnosis ________________________________________________________________________
Affirmations
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
Every day in every way my brain power increases. My visualization and imagination skills get better by the day. I regularly challenge and stimulate myself. I keep my mind busy with imagination and spatial challenges. I establish and sustain an effective program of mental rejuvenation. Exercise and physical activity increases my intelligence and performance. I eat a balanced diet. I practice proper posture and feel better as a result. I keep my mind like calm water. I think clearly and act quickly and decisively. I sleep soundly and awaken rejuvenated and ready to begin a new day. I have the power and ability to focus my concentration at will. I remain alert and focused upon what I am doing. I now learn to think laterally. I avoid or immediately resolve stressful situations.
Enhance Self-Esteem
You create your reality with your beliefs, and it doesnt even matter if your beliefs are true. If you believe something, it becomes true for you. Negative beliefs about selfesteem, body image, career, and romance will become true just as a positive belief will also become true. What you call reality is what youve agreed reality to be for you. And you can change it. Self-esteem results from what you do in life. If you feel good about the way you relate to others, and about your accomplishments, you already have high self-esteem. The same is true in reverse. If you are not getting what you want, its time to work on your self-esteem. From this day forward, never do anything that lowers your self-esteem. Changing your self-image takes time. But once youve set it down as a clear goal youre on your way and you can do it. The idea is to have patience and know that youll get where you want to be.
1. Always be honest about who you are, and what you feel.
The first bit of advice on self-esteem is to be direct and honest in your communications with other people. Dont lie, and dont fake what you really feel, because in the long run it wont serve you. If your neighbor wants to borrow your lawn mower and you dont want to loan it to him, dont say yes and then chastise yourself for not having the guts to say no. In relationships with others, dont pretend to care when you dont. Dont spend time with people you dont like. Dont pretend to accept liberal ideas to win acceptance if youre really a conservative. Its little things like this that add up to low self-esteem. Learn assertiveness training which teaches you simple techniques to stand up for your basic human rights without feeling guilty. To be less than honest in your communications with others means you repress your real feelings. Human potential trainers know there are three ways to generate change in a human being: 1) add something: people, things, environment, awareness or challenge; 2) take something away: people, things, environment, programming or challenge; 3) get the person to be themselves. This is transcendental changewhen an individual removes his pretenses of fear and expands himself. This is a giant step toward high selfesteem. Take the time to think about any lies you are currently living. Dont judge yourself as you explore each area; the idea is to attain awareness, not evoke guilt. When you are done, fantasize yourself telling a close friend about the lies, and imagine your friends reaction. Maybe your reasons for wearing a mask are not valid anymore.
7. From this day forward, never do anything that lowers your self-esteem.
If self-esteem is the result of what you do in life, then to increase your self-esteem you need to do things that support your goal. When you do things that make you feel good about yourself, you build your self-esteem. When you do things you dont feel good about, you lower your self-esteem. It follows that to feel worthwhile, you must maintain a satisfactory standard of behavior. You must correct yourself when youre wrong, and if your conduct is below your standard, and you dont correct it, you will suffer because you will feel as if you have failed in something.
9. Act as if you have high self-esteem even when you know you dont.
You dont need to change how you feel about something to affect it, if you are willing to change what you are doing. Change begins with action, and your feelings will follow your actions. Behavior is more important than emotion in creating change. So the question to be asking yourself is, How can I behave as if I had more selfesteem? Can you improve your posture, for starters? What about dressing your best? How can you speak with more authority? How can you act more sure of yourself? How can you be more honest and direct with others? How can you live more authentically? How do you stick up for yourself when you need to?
11. Base your decisions and actions on rational thinking, instead of emotions.
Your emotions are the result of your past programming, and wont always serve you when used as the foundation for decisions. Emotionally based decisions too often tend to make being right more important than winning the game. Your subconscious mind works very much like a computer, programmed for survivalyour personal survival or that which you identify withwhich might include your mate, your family, or your country. And your subconscious computer judges your safety based upon your past experiences. Maybe next weekend a friend invites you to go out on a boat. But youve been afraid of water since you nearly drowned at age eleven. Your subconscious mind scans the memory banks and decides that it would be a bad idea to accept the boating invitation. It equates water with drowning. In other words, your subconscious computer says it is all right to live your life just the way you did in your past. And in so doing, you survive. The result is your current life, just the way you are! You see, your computer cant be wrong. To be wrong threatens its very survival. It refers backwards through your past for all its present guidance and justifications, and like the machine it is, it has to be right. Everyone of us is programmed to have to be right to survive. And your reactions are often based upon events from your past that arent valid anymore. Please understand that your subconscious computer doesnt care if you get what you want out of life. It just needs to be right to protect itself. So, you get to be right and lose the game. You either win or lose in life. You get what you want or you dont. Be honest with yourself about what you are feeling and accept the experience of your emotions without being compelled to act on them. Compulsive actions lower selfesteem.
The rational approach is to let others be right and see how much more often you win the game. Be aware that the other guy is programmed to be right. He needs to be right. And unless you allow him to be right, his survival is threatened and there will be conflict. Maybe you can let him be right with a simple phrase such as, Yes, I understand that. Often thats enough. His subconscious computer is no longer threatened and he can then concentrate upon the issue. The key is to approach all problems from the other persons vantage point.
12. Seek joy and fulfillment in your current relationship and career before looking elsewhere.
It might be a lot wiser to make some changes in your own internal standards instead of searching for emotional stimulation in a new situation. Reality exists as that which you experience. The way you experience life is based upon the way you choose to view what happens to you. Your viewpoint is the deciding factor in whether you experience life negatively or positively. You will resolve most of lifes problems through changes in your perspective. By changing your viewpoint you can eliminate the effects of a problem, so youre no longer affected. And if youre no longer affected by a problem you dont have a problem, although nothing about the problem situation may have changed. Read this tip over a few times to fully grasp it. It is a life-changing concept.
16. Think about the negative sub-personalities that are lowering your self-image.
Within you lies the whiner and the critic, the manipulator and the martyr, the builder and destroyereach with its own mythology and co-existing as part of your personality. So, begin by thinking of one of your undesirable personality traits. Next, imagine an image emerging to represent this part of you. It could be male or female, an animal, elf or fairy, a monster, a symbol or anything else. Let this image just happen without attempting to consciously form it. And once the image has taken form, give it a chance to express itself without any interference or judgment. Have a mental conversation with it. Give it a name. And become aware of who or what causes this aspect of you to assert itself. Also see if you can identify any fear associated with this sub-personality. Do this exercise over and over until youve uncovered all your undesirable sub-personalities. The goal is to recognize these sub-personalities the moment they emerge. And instead of being absorbed by sensations, feelings, thoughts and desires, you simply observe the sub-personality objectively, without judging or interfering. Then tell yourself, This sub-personality is within me but it is not me. Continual refusal to identify with the sub-personality can cause it to disappear.
3. Dont take negative input personally. 4. Dont compare yourself to others. 5. Clarify your goals. 6. Choose to view your problems from a new perspective. 7. From this day forward, never do anything that lowers your self-esteem. 8. Allow yourself to take chances and risks. 9. Act as if you have high self-esteem even when you know you dont. 10. Realize no one can be perfect. 11. Base your decisions and actions on rational thinking, instead of emotions. 12. Seek joy and fulfillment in your current relationship and career before looking elsewhere. 13. Live in the now. 14. Dont always expect the worse. 15. Learn how to accept compliments. 16. Think about the negative sub-personalities that are lowering your self-image. 17. Examine your beliefs.
Affirmations
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
I project a positive self-image. I live authentically. I do not take the opinions of others personally. I am always aware that my thoughts are creating my reality. I am clear on my intent to have the highest self-esteem. I speak and act in ways that support my self-esteem. I base my decisions upon rational thinking and not emotions. Id rather win the game than get to be right. I accept the experience of my emotions without being compelled to act. I easily accept compliments. I am compassionate towards myself. Every day, in every way, I gain in self-esteem. I support my self-esteem with daily programming. I am very sure of myself. I am self-reliant and self-confident. I am filled with independence and determination.
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Maximize Self-Discipline
Self-discipline isnt about self-denial or self-restrictions. In the context of success it means self-determination. It is perseverance in action. Self-discipline is the very basis of success because it is how you direct your time, energy and resources to manifest your desires. Self-discipline is the one factor common to all self-made, successful people. In a nutshell, self-discipline simply means that you do what you need to do, and you stop doing what doesnt work.
If your lack of self-discipline causes you mental suffering, you are going to be stuck with the pain unless you get stronger. You can build your strength by increasing your willpower and generating high self-esteem. Build your willpower by practicing onepointedness, focusing only upon what you are doing and do one thing at a time until the task is completed. Actions influence attitude, and better behavior will increase your self-esteem. Exert the willpower to make immediate changes in your behavior, and it will lead to a change in attitude. Your level of self-esteem is the result of what you have done in the past. When you do things that make you feel good about yourself, you build your self-esteem. When you do things you dont feel good about, you lower your self-esteem. As a basic rule of life, never do anything that lowers your self-esteem.
4. How are you served by your lack of self-discipline? Explore any secret satisfaction you may receive from not being fully in charge of your life.
If you need to increase your self-discipline you need to take charge of your life. The first step in taking charge of your life may be to explore any secret satisfaction you receive from not being fully in charge. As an example, if you feel like you are victimized, youre receiving some satisfaction from being a victim. If you are weak, or poor, or feel
inadequate, there is a payoff of some kind in it for you. Negative games are great attention-getters. Another benefit of these games might be that they protect you from blame. The number of games is infinite. There is the I cant find the right relationship game. And the I can only attain a limited level of success game. Or, how about the My relationship is miserable game? Life is a game. Some people play it as a game of struggle, or sickness, or poverty, or being right all the time. Others play the game of happiness, success and abundant health. We are each playing a game we set up. And if your game is not bringing you some kind of payoff, stop playing. Often, there are hidden reasons why you procrastinate and end up feeling the need to increase your self-discipline. Explore how you are served by not doing what you need to do, when you need to do it. Maybe you fear success or fear failure, and by avoiding the issue you dont have to cope with either. Maybe you experience anxiety about starting or completing a task. Or maybe if you put things off somebody else will do it, or maybe the avoid will keep you from being judged, or maybe you think everything will eventually resolve itself. Start with any area where you feel you are lacking in selfdiscipline, and explore how it serves you to do what you do. Then design a countermeasure, a change in behavior that will eliminate the problem. As an example, my primary area of procrastination relates to returning phone calls. I used to put them off for days, weeks, or forever. I lacked the self-discipline to return almost all phone calls. Why? Because they take time away from my writing and I dislike the small talk that is usually part of any call. When Im directly to the point, it often alienates people who require social rapport. Now, in understanding why I lack the selfdiscipline to return calls I can either build the strength to stop procrastinating or find another way of resolving the problem. In this case I chose to delegate the undesirable task to my office staff. They now return 99 percent of my calls. My friends already know I dont like to talk on the phone and are willing to communicate with my wife or answering machine. Discover ways to eliminate the problem; either a change in behavior or a change in attitude can easily do the trick.
8. Understand and rise above three more fear blocks: the fear of failure, the fear of being overwhelmed and the fear of finishing.
Begin rising above your fear-blocks by asking yourself, What is the worst that could happen? A full awareness of your potential loss will clarify your anxiety. Then, explore how you can reduce the likelihood of this undesirable event from occurring. What could you do to increase your safety? The more you can do, the less fearful you will be. Also, explore this from the perspective of how you can increase your chances of winning in this situation. Explore what you would do if the worst came to pass. How would you cope? Where could you get help? How would you carry on? Explore your potential for dealing effectively with life. Explore your alternatives. And when youve done that, remind yourself that courage is the willingness to be afraid and to act anyway.
9. Examine your values and make sure they are compatible with your goals.
If your values and goals are not compatible, problems with self-discipline are sure to follow because you end up fighting yourself in regard to fulfilling your desires. If your goals and values are not compatible, you will either subconsciously block yourself from achieving your goals or youll change your values to make them consistent with your goals. A third possibility is that youll destroy one or the other in the process. Make a list of your ten most important goals. Then do the same with your values. Any great difference on the list will indicate that you need to rethink one or the other, to resolve or avoid a conflict. Key value areas to consider are your primary relationship, children, career, friends & associates, spirituality, physical fitness & well-being, finances, creativity, education &
intellectual growth, recreation & leisure activities, home & material possessions, and community or service involvements. Your goals should consist of your primary short-term career goal, long-term career goal, short and long-term personal goals, and relationship goals. If your goals consist mainly of financial and career successes and your values are primarily concerned with your spirituality, recreational and leisure activities, you may be fooling yourself.
one generates the other in a continuous cycle of productivity and joy. You might have to work a little longer at what you enjoy to earn what you need to hire someone else to do what you dont enjoy. But wouldnt it be worth it?
13. Divide big jobs into workable steps which you take one step at a time.
The big picture can often appear daunting once we have procrastinated long enough. It just takes an extra couple of minutes to organize a large task into a series of smaller related tasks. Group together related activities. You can save yourself a great deal of time with a few extra minutes of organizing before the real work begins. Set priorities and do the most important things first. Then once you begin, concentrate on the task at hand. If you allow yourself to get distracted by all that needs to be accomplished, you wont get the job done. Focusing all your energy in one direction is a powerful success force. Begin by examining your task and finding the best place to start. Next divide the task into small, manageable steps which you will handle, one step at a time, until the project is complete.
4. How are you served by your lack of self-discipline? Explore any secret satisfaction you may receive from not being fully in charge of your life. 5. Learn to control your thoughts. 6. Realize that no one is perfect. 7. Rise above the fear of success. 8. Understand and rise above three more fear blocks: the fear of failure, the fear of being overwhelmed and the fear of finishing. 9. Examine your values and make sure they are compatible with your goals. 10. Clarify your values and goals. 11. Question yourself about your life desires. 12. Do only that which you enjoy. 13. Divide big jobs into workable steps which you take one step at a time. 14. Eliminate busy work. 15. Touch each paper only once. 16. Just beginone disciplined act leads to another.
Affirmations
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
I have the self-discipline to accomplish my personal and professional goals. I direct my time and energy to manifest my desires. Every day, in every way, I increase my self-discipline. I do what I need to do and stop doing what doesnt work. I can control my thoughts, and thus my actions. I freely choose to do what I do. I am assertive and feel good about myself. I am clear on my values and willing to commit to my goals. I do a job one step at a time until its done. I live a directed life. I only act in ways that build my self-esteem. I take charge of my life and play the game of happiness, success and abundant health. Success Opportunity is my technique to reverse the energy of my thoughts. I have the courage to be afraid and act anyway. I decide exactly what I want in life and I go for it. I incorporate time management techniques into my life. I spend my time in ways that support my goals. I know that who I am is perfect.
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Reduce Stress
To reduce stress, you need to understand stress. Stress is the result of your perception of events. It is indicated by how you react to situations. What is stressful to you might not be stressful to someone else and vice versa. You are not born with more or fewer stress-prone genes than other people. In the end, it all amounts to attitude. Stress is being implicated in an ever-increasing number of serious health problems. To learn how to unstress, you must understand how you wound up stressed in the first place. The moment we encounter a tension-producing situation, our body chemically prepares to fight or flee. Your adrenal cortex secretes hormones which cause you to tense up. Your blood pressure rises and blood sugar is released for energy. Extra oxygen is delivered to your organs so you can use them in fighting off the danger. Clotting agents are increased in your blood in case you are wounded in the fight. Cholesterol and other fats are released to serve as a reserve energy supply. Many other biological changes also take place, all of which will allow your body to remain ready for action for the next two or three hours. But of course you dont fight and you dont flee, and this Stone Age internal reaction, originally meant to protect you, becomes a serious menace to your health. So what can you do? Well, you have a few options. You can keep the stress repressed and bottled up inside you. Of course this is sure to result in frustration, ulcers and worse health problems down the line. Or you can express your stress through sickness, apathy, anger, drinking, drugs, overeating or in any number of other undesirable ways. Or you can get rid of your stress according to a plan, and this chapter offers a complete stress reduction plan.
Make a list of all the stress factors in your life, and if the cause isnt apparent, attempt to find it. What causes you to be agitated? What makes you angry? What frustrates you? When does that tension begin to creep in? Write down all the little things that affect your well-being. You must first identify your stress buttons before you can eliminate them. If you become stressed every time you have a report or a deadline, maybe it goes back to a childhood incident. It could be something remote. Perhaps your fourth-grade teacher reprimanded and embarrassed you, which programmed an automatic anxiety response you are still carrying. Take the time to stop and think about the reasons for your anxiety. Sometimes just knowing the cause is enough to alleviate the effect.
2. Every time you become stressed, mentally investigate your state of mind.
From this moment on, every time you feel stressed, mentally investigate your state of mind. Reality is what you have chosen reality to be for you and it is alterable through a change in viewpoint. So, ask yourself, What would it take to eliminate the stress in this situation? and next, ask yourself, If I cant change the people or circumstances, how can I change my viewpoint? Examining how you can change your point of view reminds you that you have power in the situation. It also might serve you to ask yourself if you had expectations of approval or control in regard to the stressful situation. Chances are you did. If so, the real problems may be with your expectationsexpectations which are not your right. You dont want to have to provide approval on demand, do you? It certainly isnt your right to control others actions. So, how can you expect others to be the way you want them to be? In such a situation, your expectations are in conflict with what is. Remind yourself of that the next time you get upset.
produced them. Spend this time doing something that is relaxing, while also mentally engaging. This will take your mind away from the stressful thoughts of the day.
8. Do what you do naturally and well, and delegate the rest of the responsibilities to others.
Some of you may believe that when it comes to your work, you can do it better than anyone else. When others dont get the job done, you take on the task. Instead, why not decide to delegate everything you dont really need to do? You dont need to control every little situation, and you can live with a little less perfection. Research has shown that busy executives who are less stressed than their peers have high self-esteem, think the world is worthwhile, believe they can influence events around them, and tend to see change and problems as opportunities. Start viewing your problems as decisions that need to be made. If you have irrational outbursts, overly strict standards, and use high pressure tactics at work, you are only being counterproductive. Does your tendency to become easily irritated and aggravated really help you get the job done? Does impatience make it easier to make decisions, or does it cause you to move too quickly and screw up? Do your ultra-high expectations help you succeed? More likely they assure failure. Its time to replace the idea that overdriven behavior is beneficial. Your extreme hardworking attitude isnt always healthy, or productive. Examine your personality. Your personality is the basis of how you react to lifes stresses. Although no one is a total type A or type B personality, most people are inclined toward type A behavior. They tend to be excitable, competitive and goal oriented. In his book, Treating Type A Behavior And Your Heart, Dr. Meyer Friedman says, If you are a type A personality and can admit to it, you are halfway to kicking the undesirable type A patterns. The doctor goes on to list low self-esteem and insecurity as the primary causes of these undesirable behavioral patterns. He says that in his
research study of 592 type A people, every single one doubted their ability to perform their duties well enough to warrant advancement in their company. If this describes you, I suggest you read Chapter Three, Increase Self-Esteem.
9. Examine your self-talk to see what you are programming into your subconscious mind.
Thoughts and fantasies constantly run through your mind, indirectly creating your future reality. Sometimes they are in response to a specific event and sometimes they just flood into your mind when you are quiet. Here are some negative examples of selftalk: I just cant stand waiting in lines. I never have enough time to get everything done I need to do. Id like to have a tank so I could crush every car that cuts in front of me on the freeway. Use a thought stopping technique to stop the negative self-talk from becoming subconscious programming. Say these two trigger words to yourself, Success Opportunity. Then replace the negative thought with a positive one. Never allow someone elses lack of balance to create a problem for you. This technique assures positiveinstead of negativeprogramming.
10. Exercise!
Since stress prepares your body for intense muscular activity, exercise is a great way to relieve built-up tension. The more aerobic the exercise the better. Vigorous daily exercise increases levels of the neurotransmitters as well as endorphins, the bodys natural opiates, and will make it easier for you to relax more completely. The oxygen flooding through your system will help you detoxify more quickly and eliminate the biological factors that prolong stress. So, running, fast walking, swimming, cycling, calisthenics, and aerobic dancing are especially recommended. When you include regular exercise as a part of your lifestyle, it assists you to keep your stress level low enough to absorb ordinarily stressful situations without affecting you. Obviously it is best not to take up competitive exercise such as handball, tennis, or volleyball, as these may create other stressful situations.
your diet. For example, you can greatly reduce candida by eliminating sugar and dairy products from your diet. If you dont take vitamins, perhaps you should consider vitamin supplements. Most health food stores carry anti-stress vitamin and mineral formulas that can be very helpful. Some of the most important stress fighters are vitamin A, vitamin C, vitamin E, the complete B complex, and panthenic acid, which is vitamin B-5. Most nutritionists suggest using supplements, but you need expert advice, or you need to do your own research before purchasing vitamins. Of course, obtain your doctors advice before making any significant changes in your lifestyle.
12. You attract that which you are and that which you concentrate upon. So concentrate on becoming calm and centered.
The law of attraction states, Where your attention goes your energy flows. You attract that which you are and that which you concentrate upon. If you are negative, you draw in and experience negativity. If you are loving you draw in and experience love. You can attract to you only those qualities you possess. So if you want peace and harmony in your life, you must become peaceful and harmonious.
what is, you are wasting your energy, because you want something, or somebody, to be different than they are. It wont happen, so why become stressed about something you cant change? A problem does not have to be eliminated to be resolved. Often a better solution is a change in viewpoint. When you are no longer affected by a problem, you no longer have a problem, although nothing may have outwardly changed. What other people say or do, other than physical violence, does not affect you. Only what you think about what they say or do affects you. Why allow another persons problem to create a problem within you? Lets say the person closest to you is often warm and loving, and you enjoy these times, but this person can also be selfish and selfcentered. During those times you consciously detach and let the negativity flow through you without affecting you. It is that persons right to be grouchy, and it is your right not to be affected. Nothing about the situation has changed except the way you view it.
Affirmations
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
I am at peace with myself and my circumstances. I feel very relaxed and peaceful. I now view life as a tranquil oneness. I am no longer affected by what cannot be changed. I am physically relaxed and emotionally at ease. I now let go of all turmoil in my life. I feel balanced and harmonious. I am so relaxed and so at ease. I no longer have expectations of approval or control. I accept that what is, is. I consciously detach from negativity, allowing it to flow through me without affecting me. I handle disputes with other people immediately.
I think ahead, diffusing stressful situations in advance. Every day in every way I feel better about myself. I make sure my self-talk is positive. I now eat nutritionally balanced meals. Exercise now becomes a part of my daily lifestyle. Diaphragm breathing always relaxes me.
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Lose Weight
Information is your most powerful weapon in the fight against fat. Information, not willpower, and certainly not some new fad diet, will assist you in making healthy choices in your diet and lifestyle. The diet industry is constantly bombarding us with new weight loss trends: food combining, juicing, less fat, more fat, more carbohydrate, less carbohydrate. How are we to sort through it and make the healthy choice? Answer: information. All the willpower and discipline in the world cant help you if you havent armed yourself with the proper information. Reading a diet book that only prescribes a daily meal plan wont teach you anything about how the body works. It is important to understand how your body reacts to the fats, carbohydrates and proteins in the foods we eat. Nutrients and other processed ingredients act like drugs upon the body, causing certain reactions and responses, and not all of them are good. Read books that explain why we should or shouldnt eat certain foods. Learn about nutrition. Arm yourself with enough information to wade through the useless fad diets that may distract you from your real goalgood health. Weight control involves work, but the self-esteem, social values and improved health that go with it certainly make it worthwhile. Think in terms of your weight transition being a renewal period in your life.
headaches, chronic rashes or itching, numbness, tingling, rectal itching, bad breath, nasal itching, sore throat, burning or tearing of eyes and recurring ear infections. The third medical cause of obesity is hypoglycemialow blood sugar. Primary symptoms include being shaky and craving food, nervousness, irritability, low energy, cold sweats, weak feelings, depression, dizziness, headaches, digestive disturbances, forgetfulness, insomnia, worrying, confusion, muscle pains, low sex drive, allergies, leg cramps and impotence. These three medical conditions can keep you from losing weight. All are curable, but you must see your doctor to determine your condition and the best course of action.
There are also two additional factors that interrelate beliefs. First, there is a universal law that says you cant become what you resent. If you look at a young woman with a perfect body and think, All beauty and no brains, you are creating a mental block. You cannot become what you resent. The second universal law says that you always live up to your self-image. Now, if that image includes being brainless if you have a perfect body, you are in a no-win situation. Your subconscious mind will never allow you to think of yourself as brainless, so it will block your weight loss. It is time to examine all your beliefs about your weight. If you find beliefs that are not serving you, explore the cause of the belief, and if necessary use programming techniques to override them. It is critically important, if you are overweight, to change your beliefs about your weight. That is what hypnosis, sleep programming or subliminal tapes can help you do. These tapes program new beliefs.
7. Find the proper balance of carbohydrates, protein and fat in your diet.
American dietary guidelines prescribe a diet high in carbohydrates, low in protein, and low in fat as the perfect model for maintaining a low body weight. But new research indicates that if we eat too much carbohydrate, not enough protein, and too little fat, we may actually be keeping ourselves overweight. Whether you believe the USDA guidelines or not, one thing is certain: the percentage of calories that come from carbohydrates, protein and fat is a crucial factor in staying
healthy and fit. Finding this perfect balance requires you to try different dietary formulas until you find the one that works best for you. Conventional wisdom says no more than 15 to 30 percent of our calories should come from protein, no more 15 to 30 percent of our calories should come from fat, and anywhere from 55 to 75 percent of our calories should come from complex carbohydrates. In other words, eat less fat and more carbohydrates and youll lose weight. This model for weight loss claims that carbohydrates are the bodys fuel. The more you eat, the more cleanly and efficiently youll run. Eating proteins and fat, on the other hand, can clog your motor and slow you down. This high carbohydrate diet works for some people, and for the last fifteen years Americans have been eating less fat and more carbohydrates. But some people believe this formula doesnt work. New research indicates that when we eat too much carbohydrate, our body cannot convert all of it into fuel, and what remains gets converted into fat. So, the new trend in carbohydrate, protein and fat ratios runs something like this: 30 percent of your daily calories should come from fat, 30 percent from protein, and no more than 40 percent of our daily calories should come from carbohydrates. In this scenario, protein plays a more substantial role and carbohydrate consumption becomes more moderate. Perhaps the key to this new dietary thinking is moderation. Extreme behavior, such as starving your body of fat, causes your body to hold on to the fat its already got. Starving your body of calories induces your metabolism to slow down and it burns less fuel. Burning less fuel means those excess carbohydrates in your body get converted into fat. Ultimately, you will have to choose between a high carbohydrate diet or one that balances carbohydrates, proteins and fat in a more moderate ratio. If you choose the high carbohydrate model, preloading is one way of assuring a high carbohydrate meal. Carbohydrate preloading is starting each meal with a starch or carbohydrate such as potatoes, beans, spaghetti, an apple, or a low fat, whole grain bread without butter. The next step is to eat slowly so that the early part of your meal lasts at least 20 minutes. During this time the carbohydrates will activate your hormones, resulting in a reduction of fat craving as you continue your meal. Try this for three days and see if helps reduce your craving for sweets. If so, this may be an effective way for you to control your fat intake. What you think of as a craving for sweets is often a craving for fat. Although you think of candy and ice cream as sugar treats, they are also often high in fat. Fat is considered by nutritionists to be the primary enemy of good health. Read Chapter Eleven to learn more about fat and how it affects your health.
maintaining any weight loss. Eat a variety of healthy whole foods and you will feel satisfied and eat less.
The next three weight loss tips relate to the three things necessary for permanent weight loss: diet, exercise and behavior modification.
18. Exercise!
Exercise does promote weight loss. Exercise is more effective than dieting to get rid of excess weight. Start an exercise program today. Even if you hate exercise, start walking. There are many books on the market that will provide you with all you need to know. Prevention magazine has a national walking club you may want to investigate. Join a gym. Try not to expect instant results. Begin by walking for ten minutes on a treadmill. Use the exercise machines with the expectation that you wont look like a pro your first time out. But dont give up. Go for a swim, ride a bike, do anything as long as its safe and gets you moving.
you have this awareness, plan around it by eating healthy before seeing these people, or keep all food out of the environment. It is also very important to enlist help from your family and friends to support you in your weight loss goals. Chart and monitor your weight loss efforts precisely. Not only can monitoring clue you in as to when eating problems occur, it will also encourage you to try harder if you are faltering, and you will be encouraged by your success. Maintain your weight loss by establishing an internal warning system if you begin to backslide.
Affirmations
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
I manifest the self-discipline to lose the weight I desire. From this moment on, I eat only at meal time. I eat smaller portions of healthy foods. I eat less calories than I use. Im willing to make the lifestyle and dietary changes required to fulfill my weight-loss goals. I exercise regularly. My brain produces the proper levels of beta endorphins and seritonin for maximum health and ideal body weight. From this moment on, my elimination system functions normally. I now lose weight. Every day I lose a little more weight.
the frequency and depth of your breathing. Gradually increase the depth of your breathing as you slow the rate. Do this to the point where you are breathing in what you feel is the most relaxing and calming pattern for you. Focus mentally on relaxing with each breath. With each inhalation, breathe with greater calmness and peace. Let go of all tension in your body. See yourself inhaling energy, calmness and relaxation. Exhale tension. Feel yourself blowing away the pressures and stresses of the day with every out breath. Breathe in calmness. Breathe out stress and tension. Maintain this focused breathing for at least ten breaths.
8. Meditate.
Relax and rest at least a half hour a day. An ideal time is immediately after your deep breathing exercises. A quiet environment is essential; eliminate distractions and unnecessary noise. Make yourself comfortable and progressively relax your body. Half an hour of quiet relaxation or meditation performed regularly gives your body a chance to recuperate and keeps the immune system strong.
9. Exercise!
Proper exercise, done in moderation, is a cornerstone of health. Avoid very aggressive or competitive exercise, which is stressful and can injure the body. Walking one or two miles a day can help your lungs, heart and circulation. Exercises such as yoga, tai chi, running and aerobic dancing provide beneficial exercises for the body, mind and spirit!
11. Laugh.
Laughter can be the best medicine. It blocks feelings of apprehension and panic that can accompany serious illness, and positively affects your health by helping you maintain a balanced perspective. Positive physical effects include lowered blood pressure, better muscle tension, improved digestion and elevated mood. Laughing makes things seem less frightening and overwhelming. So have fun, watch funny movies or read funny books. Do things that make you laugh.
aluminum sulfate and sulfur dioxide. Additionally, water may be hard, which means it contains mineral salts, some of which can be injurious to health even though they occur naturally. The best way to avoid the many chemicals and indigestible minerals found in water, including bottled spring water, is to drink distilled water. This is water that has been boiled, converted to steam, then re-condensed. In this process, everything that is not pure hydrogen is removed. The result is pure water. In the human body, it acts as a solvent to help clean out the arteries, lungs, liver and kidneys. Let your body obtain its minerals from organic fruits and vegetables, not from your water.
functional disorders of the nervous system. Exposure to the full range of solar radiation, including the ultraviolet and visible regions of the spectrum, are necessary to obtain these beneficial effects. Of course, it is important for one to use sunblock if planning to be in the sun. But the healing properties of a regular dose of sunshinea walk in the park, a bike ride, a swimfar outweigh the negative.
5. Get the proper amount of sleep. 6. Keep a healthy perspective. 7. Become aware of your breathing. 8. Meditate. 9. Exercise! 10. Be less critical of others. 11. Laugh. 12. Drink clean water, and lots of it. 13. Nutritionally balance your lifestyle. 14. Take vitamin C. 15. Get out into the sun. 16. Listen to music. 17. When you feel sad, go ahead and cry. 18. Cultivate loving relationships.
Affirmations
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
Radiant health is now my reality. Every day, I am healthier and healthier. I now use the unlimited power of my mind to become healthy. I know how to relax completely and release tension from my body and mind. My positive, loving attitude keeps me healthy. Every day in every way, I love and care about my body and myself more and more. My body knows exactly what it needs to stay healthy. I visualize perfect health. I maintain a state of calmness and tranquility. I let negativity flow through me without affecting me. My positive attitude keeps me healthy.
C H A P T E R
E I G H T
Reverse Aging
What would you say if I told you that men and women in their 60s and 70s can become as fit and energetic as people 20 and 30 years younger? You can look and feel years younger if you are willing to make simple changes in your behavior. As we get older, our cardiovascular and respiratory fitness is reduced. There is a loss of muscle and bone, a stiffening of the joints, and the skin thins and wrinkles. But the good news is that these changes accompany aging, and are not necessarily the inevitable result of aging. There is considerable evidence that shows these aging effects can be slowed down, and in some cases, reversed. This chapter will cover many areasfrom the regenerative power of nutrition and proper exercise to the human potential concepts that will help you achieve what you really want out of life. It is not meant to conflict with your own doctors advice, which you should obtain before making any changes in your lifestyle.
1. Exercise!
Exercise is the easiest and surest way of affecting how you look and feel. It only takes a few minutes a day and the benefits far outweigh the burden. Studies show that you dont need a particularly strenuous exercise program to achieve the equivalent of ten years rejuvenation. You just need to be reasonably active. Adequate oxygen is critical to your cardiovascular and respiratory performance, and declines about one percent a year from age 30 on. Yet research has documented that this can be reversed with an intelligent exercise program. Taking consideration of your age and physical ability, begin an appropriate exercise regimen immediately. Walking is excellent for any age. Walking can decrease body fat and increase overall fitness. Go for a stroll, meander down to the end of your street, saunter over to your favorite book store. Walking rejuvenates you. Brisk walking can lower your blood pressure, relieve arthritis, and help you to lose weight. Swimming, cycling, rowing, yoga, and lifting light weights (3 to 15 lbs.) can have a tremendous impact on how you look and feel. The most important thing is to stay active. The more inactive you are the more difficult it becomes to do routine things like unloading the trunk of your car, gardening, or picking up your child or grandchild. Take the stairs instead of the escalator. Park farther away from your destination instead of right in front. Go to the gym instead of a movie. There are many opportunities to make the active choice every day.
A five year study of more than two hundred people from ages 57 to 87 was quite dramatic. They walked, jogged, did calisthenics and stretched three to five times a week. Some had been active all their lives, but others had not worked out for years. As early as six weeks into the program, men and women in their 60s and 70s became as fit and energetic as people 20 and 30 years younger. So consider fast walking, running, calisthenics, aerobic classes, bicycle riding, swimminganything that will increase your aerobic capacity.
circumstances, which are incapable of doing anything to you anyway. They simply trigger feelings that lie within you. You choose how you are going to react.
14. Avoid negative people and those who dwell on their aches and pains.
Positive thinking and positive input programs a positive life. Negative thinking and negative input programs negative experiencesand prematurely ages you. So, if you want to be happy healthy, and successful, surround yourself with happy, healthy, and successful people. If you want to be more youthful, associate with people who enjoy doing youthful things. Youthfulness and vitality will rub off on you.
3) COMMITMENT: both of you must totally commit to the relationshipphysically, spiritually, emotionally and financially. Withholding reflects undermining doubts; 4) SUPPORT: encourage each other in ways that increase self-esteem; 5) DETACHMENT: let the little things go; 6) COMMUNICATION: openly share yourself, discuss mutual needs and compromise on solutions; 7) LISTEN: be willing to appreciate the others position even when you dont agree; 8) COMFORT: be friends as well as lovers. Let your union be a refuge of balance and harmony; 9) TRANSCEND ANGER: hostility arises only from the expectation of having things your way; 10) TIME: share activities that serve as building blocks of a good relationship; 11) TRANSCEND BLAME: resist the expression of self-pity, which is incompatible with karma; and 12) SPIRITUALITY: foster each others spiritual growth. Even if your relationship isnt everything you want it to be, seek joy and fulfillment in what you have before looking elsewhere. It will probably be much wiser to make some changes in your own internal standards, instead of searching for emotional stimulation in a new situation.
pumping exhilaration, challenge, joy, stimulation and pleasure that makes life worth living. Have you traded freedom and aliveness for security? Is your life so routine and dull you have to look for places to hide? Some people hide by becoming couch potatoes addicted to TV, others gossip on the telephone. Some go to bars or seek out other empty distractions. You need to know that your mind cant accept a mundane reality for long. Eventually, it will subconsciously create some excitement to make life more interesting. It might make you sick, cause you to have an accident, or create some other kind of complication. It can generate circumstances that will result in the destruction of your relationship, health or career just so youll have the challenge of rebuilding it. People who feel and act younger, and get sick less often then their peers, are people who are excited and enthusiastic about life. They have goals they want to accomplish, and dreams they want to experience. They are open-minded people with a sense of humor and strong self-esteem. They are also people with personal discipline and a real sense of responsibility. And they usually have a personal philosophy that gives their lives meaning.
9. Think of yourself as young and vibrant. 10. Eliminate the stress and tension in your life. 11. Accept that what is, is. 12. Reverse all the deficiencies in your life. 13. Reduce all your excesses. 14. Avoid negative people and those who dwell on their aches and pains. 15. Stay sexually active. 16. Nourish your primary relationship. 17. You create your reality with your beliefs. 18. Investigate all the anti-aging nutrients. 19. Learn and apply the concept of aliveness. 20. Regardless of your age, find a new pastime/hobby. 21. Enjoy your work.
Affirmations
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
Every day I feel more youthful and enthusiastic. I now unleash the youthful vigor that lies within me. I choose to live a healthy lifestyle of proper diet and exercise. I am excited about life and I feel vigorous. I am as young as I feel and every day I feel younger. I now recapture my youthful vigor and enthusiasm. Every day I think more positively. I really feel good. One secret to reverse aging is proper diet and exercise. What I think I am creates my reality. I detach from stress and allow it to flow through me without affecting me. I no longer resist what I cannot change. I now eliminate all excess in my life. I balance my life and my life works. I now act younger and feel younger.
C H A P T E R
N I N E
Our self-image is created by a lifetime of feedback from the world around us. Perhaps the most common problem with self-image today has to do with appearance versus the media and the culturally-accepted norm. We are all bombarded with ads featuring beautiful people getting what they want by using particular products or wearing specific clothes. Obviously, looking your best, having nice clothes and projecting a positive image is desirable. It is a good way to suggest to others that you feel good about yourself. But dont compare yourself to the people on the magazine covers and in the TV ads. The right way for you to be attractive is to relax and be yourself. Express yourself, your unique qualities and enthusiasm for life and the people around you. Warmth, sensuality, sensitivity, and humor have nothing to do with looks, clothing, money or fame. Forget the media image of what is appropriate and start to project the real youthe authentic you. Then you will find yourself attractive to others and on the road to a realistic and satisfying relationship. If youre not 100-percent happy with the real you, you have the power and ability to enhance who you really are. Ill talk more about that soon.
2. Strike A Balance
Recognize that shyness and excessive concern about your image is a kind of selfabsorption. Try to be more interested in your date and a little less concerned about your own hairstyle or bald spot. As you get involved in meeting new people, you want to find out about them and allow them to get to know you. If you remember to strike a balance between asking about them and telling about you, the relationship will progress more easily. And your concerns about your own imperfections will seem less important.
3. Project Charisma
Projecting charisma is an important part of connecting with people. If you were to take a charisma class to enhance who you are, the instructor would work with you on several points you can develop on your own, or with the assistance of self-change programming tapes. The following are the key factors for developing charisma: 1) Project an inner-warmth and friendliness, 2) Act self-assured and independent, 3) Project self-confidence, 4) Be open and approachable, 5) Be sensitive and allow others to know it, 6) Project confident posture and assertive body language, 7) Be secure enough to let your vulnerability show . . . and remember, 8) one of the most appealing human characteristics is the ability to make other people feel at ease.
almost magical, so get a conversation-starting dog and walk it through the areas populated by the kind of people you want to meet. And if youre walking the dog or taking your wash to the laundromat, make sure you look good. If youre a woman wear makeup. If youre a man, shave and put on some bronzer. Make sure your clothes are flattering. Obviously, the more flattering, the better. You never know when youre going to meet that special person. Research proves we tend to mentally judge new people within seven seconds of meeting them.
they had rigid and demanding expectations about their relationships. It also turned out that their loneliness was less related to the actual number of dates or partners that they had, but to their own inability to accept and enjoy others. Perfectionism is not a positive trait in establishing relationships. If youre looking for love, that means giving trust and acceptance to someone and loving them as they are, not as youd like them to be. The usual feeling that signals a true-love relationship is recognitiontalking to someone that understands you and what you are trying to say, from the outseta sense of intimacy and sharing without effort. This doesnt mean that all goes smoothly at every moment. But a basic willingness to accept people as they are is the beginning of unconditional love.
right for you in a relationship is not necessarily what is right for someone else. But we all seek love and acceptance from other human beings.
performance on a first date ... or even a fifth date, beyond common curiosity and common sense. When you begin seeing someone, if you feel uncomfortable, shy, or tense, chances are your partner is experiencing something similar. If you mention your uneasiness in a relaxed way, your date will probably say something like, Im glad you said that. I was feeling the same way. Then the ice is broken and youre just two human beings getting to know each other.
Love each other as you would be loved, cherishing the passion and joy, while allowing the negativity to flow through you without affecting you.
ACCEPTANCE
Treasure each others uniqueness and accept each other as you are without expectations of change.
COMMITMENT
Totally commit to your relationshipmentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally and financially. Withholding reflects doubts that will undermine the foundation of your union.
SUPPORT
Support each other in ways that increase self-esteem. This is critical to a good relationship, for to love another you must love yourself.
DETACHMENT
Let the little things go. Before reacting negatively, ask yourself, Does it really matter or am I just acting out of a need to be right?
COMMUNICATION
Openly communicate and share yourself. The greatest gift you can give each other is to be all of who you really are. Be willing to discuss needs and compromise solutions.
LISTEN
Listen to each other and be willing to appreciate the others position even when you dont agree. Also, learn to hear what isnt being verbalized.
COMFORT
Provide comfort to each other in the midst of worldly concerns. Be friends as well as lovers and let your union be a refuge of balance and harmony.
TRANSCEND ANGER
Rise above anger by saying to yourself, I am angry because I had expectations of gaining approval or control in this situation. These are not my rights.
TIME
Always make time for each other and find fulfillment in the current moment. Shared activities are the building blocks of a good relationship.
TRANSCEND BLAME
Blame is an expression of self-pity and only makes matters worse by programming your subconscious mind negatively.
SPIRITUALITY
Encourage each other to evolve spiritually. Through faith, you can transcend the darkness and attain peace of mind.
Affirmations
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
I now create the space in my life for the perfect love relationship. Finding the right love relationship has a top priority. I willingly commit the time and energy necessary to find a loving relationship. I now seize the moment and act immediately to meet people. I am clear on my intent to meet the perfect lover. I project warmth and openness. I am ready to give and receive unconditional love. I now focus the power of my subconscious mind upon drawing the perfect lover into my life. I project sensitivity and vulnerability. I project self-confidence and independence. I will love my lover as I would be loved. I will treasure my lovers uniqueness and totally commit to the relationship. I will support my lover in ways that increase self-esteem. I will detach from negativity and let the little things go. I will openly communicate and share myself, and I will be a good listener. I will comfort my lover and make time to spend together.
C H A P T E R
T E N
1. Do things together.
Activity builds a strong foundation for a good relationship. These activities should be other than having sex or watching television together. Get out and exercise together, work on a shared hobby, socialize, share a crossword puzzle, cook a gourmet meal together or do something you both enjoy. When you can be friends as well as lovers your union will be much more likely to serve as a refuge of balance and harmony.
2. Do things separately.
Individual activity is essential for the personal development of each partner. Always challenge yourself with new learning that will support your self-esteem. You need to take the time to nourish yourself emotionally and psychologically. Remain independent in spirit, yet committed to the partnership.
5. Take time for honest verbal communication in which real sharing takes place.
Communication between the sexes has never been easy and today, with both men and women working its a wonder we have any time at all for intimate exchange and contact. But lack of communication is often the primary cause of problems. One person doesnt know how the other really feels because there has been no direct discussion of the subject. Either it is too difficult to say what we really feel or both people assume they know and have thus established distorted concepts and behaviors based upon their own inaccurate viewpoint. Realize that a dull love life may be the result of other problems in your relationship. The greatest aphrodisiac is a loving and caring relationship. A relationship history of conflicts, fights, and unresolved hurts is going to dampen your love life. If thats the case its time to end the conflict and begin rebuilding your relationship by showing that you care. Compromise and mutual confrontation of problems is critical to a successful, longlasting relationship.
A good place to begin communicating is with a listening lesson. In your particular situation it may be difficult to ask your partner to really talk openly. But you can broach the subject by offering to let them speak uninterrupted for ten minutes. Then it will be your turn to talk for ten minutes. When youre both done, youll talk to each other, but only ask questions. Neither of you are allowed to make any statements; you will only be able to phrase your responses in the form of a question. This exercise blocks you from responding defensively, and teaches both of you to listen with an open mind. The second step in the listening lesson exercise is to communicate with each other as you would normally, but tape-record the conversation. Then after 30 minutes, listen to the tape togetherto what is said and to the tone of your voices. Then, each of you is allowed ten uninterrupted minutes to tell your partner how you feel about the recorded communications. The third step can be verbally communicated, or written for those who find it easier to write than talk. The idea is to come up with ten things about your partner that bother you. After trading lists each of you is allotted uninterrupted communication time. And again, this is followed by questions only ... then, full non-defensive communication. This step in the exercise should be given an adequate amount of time to assure that your list is not motivated by anger or fear. Try to communicate with a generous spirit; often these things are lifelong behaviors that the other person doesnt even recognize as bothersome. The fourth step is to verbally communicate or write down five relationship situations that upset you so much you havent been able to get over them. These are usually more emotional circumstances and require patience and the willingness to accept personal responsibility. Follow this with the same uninterrupted communication, followed by questions only, and then full non-defensive communication. If you can challenge yourselves to participate in this exercise, you will be amazed at the progress you can make.
all married men have had an affair. One major poll claimed 72 percent. One percent of women have been involved sexually with an animal. Most people enjoy oral sex and a good percentage enjoy anal sex. Statistics are more difficult to obtain in other areas of sexuality, such as group sex, swinging, threesomes, S&M, et cetera ... But millions of people have had these sexual experiences. And what about the average frequency of sexual intercourse? Statistics show that generally, a couple in their 20s are likely to have sex every day. 30-to 40-year-olds have sex between two and three times a week, 40-to 50years-olds once a week, and 60 plus, less than once a week. Two out of three men in their 70s are still sexually active. These are just some facts about what is with sex. And, youre not abnormal if none of the fantasies or statistics relate to you. Objective norms dont really exist. There is no right or wrong. The idea is to stop judging yourself and stop judging others. Its time to ask yourself, Does what I do sexually work for me? Does it manifest love, health and happiness ... and does it allow me full self-expression?
9. Stop blaming.
It is easier for many people to blame others and fate for their circumstances, and to play the part of the victim, than to take responsibility for their life. But blame is nothing but an expression of self-pity. And blame always makes matters worse, leastwise by programming your subconscious mind negatively. The subconscious mind operates like a computer. Thus, if you program it with negativity, it will generate negativity. In data processing terms this is GIGO: Garbage In, Garbage Out. So the idea is to give up all blame. The happiest couples are those who take full responsibility for their lives.
experiences. Your computer says it is all right for you to do what you do as compared to the past, for when you did something similar in the past you survived. Since your subconscious mind operates like a logical machine, it cannot be wrong. To be wrong threatens its survival. So the only way it can function is to make you feel correct. Your subconscious computer doesnt care if you get what you want out of life. It just needs to be right to protect itself. So, your computer gets to be right and you lose the game. By becoming aware of your programming you can begin to detach from the buttons that cause you to act like a machine ... like a robot. A robot has no choice in the way it acts. It has wiring and circuits that are set up so that when a button is pushed it reacts according to programming. But you are the same way. Being challenged pushes your button and you instantly need to be right. So, knowing this, let the other person be right. Until you can move him past his need to be right, there can be no real communication. Sometimes you can do this by simply saying, Yes, I understand that you feel that way. This acknowledges his rightness and can take him off of tilt. Then he can focus upon the problem at hand. When you give up the need to be right, chances are youll start winning the game.
13. Exercise!
Physical fitness is a definite advantage in the bedroom, if only because it enhances endurance. All too often non-orgasmic women simply tire out before they can orgasm. So if you are not already involved in an exercise program, it is time to start one. Even moderate physical activity is accompanied by positive mental and physical changes. Studies measuring mental function after a ten week program of jogging, calisthenics and other physical recreation show significant improvements in intelligence, speed of performance, learning and brain function, as well as decreased depression and lowered anxiety. Memory, attention span and motivation were also positively affected by exercise ... all of which indirectly relate to a better love life.
Investigate sexual nutrition overall, and vitamin supplementation in particular. Male and female sexual function is related to basic body chemistry and if you are not getting enough of specific vitamins and minerals your body can sexually shut down. Investigate by reading or visiting a good holistic nutritionist. You can also ask two or three different health food stores for their suggestions. As an example, for male sexual function, in addition to the commonly known vitamins, the body needs iodine, zinc, sod, selenium, RNA, DNA, manganese, bromelain, L-cysteine, choline and inositol. Vitamin supplements can be purchased in any health food store, but you must investigate your particular needs very carefully.
7. Dont be afraid to share your sexual fantasies. 8. Express yourself sexually. 9. Stop blaming. 10. Let go of expectations. 11. Give up needing to be right. 12. Start a stress-reduction program. 13. Exercise! 14. Nutritionally balance your diet. 15. Give up your vices to improve your sex life. 16. Take your TV set out of your bedroom. 17. Actions speak louder than words; show your love. 18. Identify your myths. 19. Let the little things go. 20. Take the self-strengthening test. 21. Fully commit to your relationship.
Affirmations
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
I accept my lovers uniqueness without expectations. I support my lover in ways that increase self-esteem. I let the little things go, detaching from negativity. I totally commit to my relationship. The greatest gift I can give my lover is to be all of who I am. I am open to communicate and share myself. I listen and am willing to appreciate my lovers position even when we dont agree. I rise above anger by asking myself, Am I seeking approval or control? I always make time for my lover. I communicate what I want directly and honestly. I would rather win the game than be right. Every day I use opportunities to show my love. I now nutritionally balance my diet and make exercise part of my lifestyle. I realize that a loving and caring relationship is the ultimate aphrodisiac.
disputed is that high levels of HDL lower the risk of heart attack, and conversely, low levels of HDL increase the risk. In summary, the goal is to have low levels of low density lipoprotein and high levels of high density lipoproteins.
Tryglycerides: This is the fat in your blood. It comes from the food we eat, but it is also produced by the body. People with heart disease have high triglyceride levels. But not everyone with high tryglyceride levels have heart disease. To reduce the risk of heart attack, it is important to maintain low levels of tryglycerides. Saturated Fat: The American Heart Association believes that saturated fat is the main dietary culprit in raising blood cholesterol. The degree of saturation in saturated, polyunsaturated and monounsaturated fats and oils depends on how many hydrogen atoms are in the chemical chain. The more saturated a fat, the harder it is and the more cholesterol it will form in the body. Animal fats, hydrogenated shortenings and margarine, and palm and coconut oils are all saturated fats, which stimulate the production of low-density lipoprotein (bad cholesterol) and raise total cholesterol levels. Polyunsaturated Fat: Polyunsaturated fats come from vegetables or seeds, and include safflower, corn, soybean, cotton seed, sesame, walnut, and sunflower oils. They lower LDL and serum cholesterol levels, but use them in moderation. Too-plentiful use of polyunsaturated fats can lower beneficial HDL and boost tryglycerides. Monounsaturated Fat: Monounsaturated fats lower total cholesterol and LDL levels as effectively as polyunsaturated fats without lowering HDL or raising tryglycerides. They are found in canola and olive oil, and should be added to the diet in a ten- to fifteen percent ratio. Use only poly- or monounsaturated oils, and in limited amounts. Many margarines and spreads are made from these oils and should be used instead of spreads made from saturated fats, such as butter, lard or hydrogenated shortenings.
Cholesterol Levels
Less than 200 milligrams per deciliter 200-239 milligrams per deciliter 240 and over Good Borderline High
LDL Levels
Less than 130 milligrams per deciliter 130-159 milligrams per deciliter 160 or higher Good Borderline High
HDL Levels
40-50 milligrams per deciliter 50-60 milligrams per deciliter Less than 35 milligrams per deciliter Average Male Average Woman Low
the dosage of fish oil in relation to other kinds of polyunsaturated fats, not the absolute amount of fish oil consumed. So do not alter the amounts of polyunsaturates in your diet when you add fish oil. Several studies indicate the body converts the eight percent linoletic acid in liquid soybean oil into the same omega-3 fatty acids as those found in fish oils. Another vegetable oil containing about ten percent linoleic acid is canola oil. Evening primrose oil contains about nine percent gamma linolenic acid, which lowers cholesterol and LDL. Evening primrose oil can be purchased in capsule form at the health food store. Recommended dosage: one gram per meal.
9. Eat a high-fiber diet and be sure to drink at least 8 glasses of water a day.
Cellulose and other insoluble dietary fibers found in grains, fruits and vegetables are helpful in cutting cancer risk, lowering blood pressure and maintaining regularity. Water-soluble fiberthe kind contained in fruits, barley, oats and rice bran, dried beans and peasappears to lower cholesterol by absorbing certain fatty substances in the gastrointestinal tract. This increases the livers output of bile, a digestive fluid composed of cholesterol, and it lowers overall cholesterol production. Eat oat and rice bran in the form of hot and cold cereals, muffins, breads and pancakes. One-half to one cup of beans
eaten daily as a main meal, as a soup, or tossed into salads will make your cholesterol levels plummet. Plus their versatility makes it easy to eat plenty. And dont forget apples, which contain the water-soluble fiber pectin. Keep hydrated by drinking at least eight glasses of water a day. You dont have to start with the full eight glasses. You can start to increase your water consumption over the period of a week to let your body adjust. See whats right for you, but start today.
never too late to quit. Compared to those who continued to smoke, people in their midfifties or older who quit dramatically reduced and even halved their risk of heart attacks.
a beneficial effect on the cardiovascular system. Pet owners with heart conditions have half the mortality rate as those without pets.
18. Exercise!
Regular aerobic exercise provides protection against heart disease by conditioning the heart and circulatory system. It also improves the oxygen efficiency of the heart, lungs and muscles. And it reduces other risk factors, such as high blood pressure, high cholesterol and LDL levels, and alleviating depression. Exercise at least three times a week for a minimum of 20 minutes at your training heart rate, which is 85 percent of the maximum heart rate based on your age. Avoid highly aggressive or competitive exerciseits stressful and can injure the body. The best aerobic exercises are brisk walking, swimming, stationary cycling or outdoor bicycling, cross-country skiing, rowing, and aerobic dance. Exercises such as yoga and tai chi provide spiritual and emotional boosts as well as beneficial exercise for the body.
8. Cut down or eliminate salt in your diet. 9. Eat a high-fiber diet and be sure to drink at least eight glasses of water a day. 10. Be sure to get an adequate supply of minerals in your diet. 11. Eat brewers yeast. 12. If it wont cause a health risk, take niacin. 13. Learn about herbal extracts. 14. If you smoke, quit now. 15. Eliminate the stress and tension in your life. 16. Learn to express your emotions. 17. Develop close personal ties to friends, family and community. 18. Exercise! 19. Bring your weight to where it belongs. 20. Take aspirin.
Affirmations
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
A healthy heart is now my reality. Every day, I am healthier and healthier. I now use the unlimited power of my mind to reduce my cholesterol level. Consciously and subconsciously, I choose perfect health. I know how to relax completely and release tension from my body and mind. My positive, loving attitude keeps my heart healthy. Every day in every way, I love and care about my heart, my body and myself more and more. I exercise my body regularly to keep my heart healthy. My body knows exactly what it needs to stay healthy. I eat only healthy foods. I eat more fiber, fruits, and vegetables. I avoid cholesterol, fat and sugar. I visualize perfect health. I maintain a state of calmness and tranquility.
C H A P T E R
T W E L V E
Stop Smoking
We are all aware of the dangers of smoking ... and how difficult it can be to stop. You want to quit, but youve tried before and failed. Now you fear that this habit is stronger than you are. It frequently seems that this addiction is overpoweringdominating your thoughts, sapping your willpower, and affecting your health. You feel the negative effect smoking has on your body; the wheezing in your lungs when you walk up a flight of stairs; the tiny lines that appear on your upper lip and around your mouth; your lack of energy. Smoking is a psychological and physiological addiction that ruins the quality of your life while cutting it short. Its dangerous, expensive, turns off friends and strangers alike, and threatens not only your own life, but the health of those around you. You are well aware that you must stop, but how?
simply stopcompletely and at once. It reduces the opportunity for excuses by eliminating the physiological need as quickly as possible, while the rapid removal of the conflict provides less time to escape. In other words, you can no longer justify your smoking today by telling yourself that you will quit, someday. You just dont ever allow yourself another cigaretteEVER! Disadvantages: The main advantage, its suddenness, can also be a disadvantage. Its greater visibility puts everyones eye on you. Your colleagues at work who smoke notice instantly that youve quit. They bring attention to it and then you begin to focus on your cravings and discomfort from withdrawal as well. High levels of discomfort can undermine your resolve, while the all-or-nothing nature of the cold turkey method means that a single cigarette can ruin the entire effort. Who should use the cold turkey method?: If you suffer from extreme withdrawal symptoms, such as irritability, impatience, tension, and insomnia; if your mind works overtime coming up with rationales to continue smoking; if you procrastinate, tend to avoid problems, or have difficulty controlling your behavior without a direct challenge or explicit command, you would benefit most from the cold turkey method.
An extended break, such as a vacation, a long weekend or holiday is an extremely good time to begin. The extended break assists you to establish a number of nonsmoking days and to get past the worst part of withdrawal while in a non-stressful atmosphere. The social pressure to smoke and the sights and smells of others smoking are temporarily gone. Having committed yourself to quit during this break, procrastination and other escapist behavior become much more difficult to rationalize. A special event, such as graduation from school, marriage, birth of a child, job promotion or retirement, can provide you with enough extra motivation to sustain the desire to quit over the desire to smoke. Specific target dates such as birthdays, New Years or another holiday, or any other specific date, help increase motivation, filter out excuses and control escapist behavior.
4. Be prepared for the tough stuff the pleasure/pain cycle, erroneous rationales, and escapist behavior.
Learn to recognize the three key factors that make quitting harder and you may be able to avoid a relapse.
Erroneous rationales
When caught in the throes of a nicotine craving, it can be very easy to forget why you wanted to stop in the first place. We must recognize howat those momentswe ignore certain truths. We easily intellectualize, justify, explain away and make allowances for behavior that is detrimental to our well-being. It is important to understand how we rationalize our negative behaviors. Otherwise we continue those negative behaviors and never change them. Here are the key ways in which we justify smoking: A lack of knowledge or misconceptions about smoking, including denying or diminishing the dangers of smoking Denying the personal relevance or ability to quit Denying the necessity of quitting Philosophizing, intellectualizing, and advancing irrelevant arguments.
Escapist behavior
Escapist behavior encompasses five patterns: procrastination, wishful thinking, regression, blaming others and repression. Procrastination is a very effective escape route. A clever smoker can come up with enough excuses to put off quitting for years, even forever, fooling himself into believing that he is going to quit ... tomorrow. Smokers indulging in wishful thinking live in a fantasy world where none of nicotines adverse effects will happen to them, or if it does, those effects will be minimal or easily reversed. While thats always possible, its not likely. Wishful thinking is unrealistic and escapist in nature, like the ostrich refusing to see things as they are by sticking its head in the sand. Regression enables the smoker to get around the inconsistency between his knowledge of the dangers of smoking and his continued smoking by simply refusing to deal with it. This is accomplished by regression to childish or inappropriate behavior and attitudes, such as becoming overly emotional, swearing, and screaming at people who raise the smoking issue. Blaming others is an avoidance tactic. Many people began smoking not as a result of an informed decision but as a consequence of interpersonal relationships and peer pressure. Quitting is frequently made even more difficult because of lack of support from other people. Blaming others enables the smoker to disclaim responsibility while clouding the issue of a solution to the problem. Repression is quite simply not viewing smoking as a problem. This deliberate behavior enables the smoker to avoid conflict and the necessity of making excuses, blaming others, or indulging in wishful thinking.
6. Use a journal.
In addition to your daily smoking log, buy a larger notebook to use as a journal. This is a personal record of your goals, rules, accomplishments and observations of events occurring in your quitting program. Write your reasons for quitting in your journal for later reference when you have the urge to smoke. If you notice yourself feeling deprived and becoming angry, blow off steam in the journal, but be sure to work the anger through and turn it around to positive thought.
Tips 8 through 13 deal specifically with the cold turkey method but people who have chosen the gradual withdrawal program will find them useful as well. 8. Create contingency plans dont be caught off guard.
Contingency plans help you deal with the factors that make quitting harder: the pleasure/pain cycle, erroneous rationales, escapist behavior and conditioned smoking triggers. Before you quit, know how you will act in certain situations, personal and social: how you handle obsessive cravings when they strike; what your personal quitting schedule calls for. Choose those strategies you will integrate with your method and write them in your journal. Decide to stick to them, and when these difficulties strike, follow your contingency plan.
swallowing several tablets. Take 4,000mg every two to four hours; do this for at least one week. If this causes diarrhea, cut dosage in half but continue frequency of doses.
cream into them and manicure your nails. Or try sketching, doodling or writing in your journal. Be creative in your alternatives.
16. Exercise!
If you dont already engage in regular daily physical exercise, start now. Its hard to smoke while youre exercising. Vigorous daily exercise increases levels of the neurotransmitters as well as endorphins, the bodys natural opiates, and will make it easier for you to relax more completely. The oxygen flooding through your system will help detoxify your system more quickly as well. Also, mood swings will stabilize and you wont feel as depressed. Your self-image and self-esteem will improve and you wont want to damage your body with cigarettes any longer.
continuing to eliminate themcigarette by cigarette, trigger by trigger. If you smoke a menthol cigarette, switch to non-menthol and vice versa. If you smoke a non-filter, switch to a filter, but do not switch from a filter to a non-filter. Smoke with the nondominant hand. If you use a lighter, switch to using matches, then keep the cigarette and matches in separate locations.
14. Develop alternative behaviors. 15. Learn to relax without a cigarette. 16. Exercise! 17. Change your eating habits. 18. Develop your spirituality. 19. Switch cigarette brand and types. 20. Condition an aversion to cigarettes. 21. Finally, eliminate cigarettes.
Affirmations
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
I now set a target date and on that date I will stop smoking forever. Every day, up to my target date, I smoke fewer and fewer cigarettes. Cigarettes disgust me. I no longer want to smoke. Every day, I smoke less and less. I now stop smoking. By quitting, I feel better mentally and physically. I successfully focus on overcoming my smoking habit, replacing it with desirable new behavior patterns. I have the willpower to do anything I desire to do. I crave cigarettes less and less. The urge to smoke is leaving me... the urge to smoke is now gone. I am now a nonsmoker.
C H A P T E R
T H I R T E E N
1. Realize that you alone are the source of all the conditions and situations in your life.
The state of your health, your finances, your personal relationships, your professional lifeall of it is your doing; yours and no one elses. Look carefully at any situation in your life and be honest about it. If you are honest with yourself, you will eventually see that, either consciously or subconsciously, you set it up to be that way. Whether you are aware of it or not, youve allowed that situation to remain as it is, even though youve had the ability to change it all along. When you accept responsibility for creating a situation, you are ready to accept responsibility for changing it. And when you assume responsibility for changing it, you take control of your life. When you take control of your life, you exhibit power, which is the key to your ability to negotiate. Power is the capacity to get things done, to exercise control over people, events, situations, and oneself. However, power is based on perceptionif you think youve got it then youve got it.
laws, employees and friends what they think you should be doing with your life and everyone will give you a different answer. It is your life. You will have to control it. The third block is low self-esteem. Low self-esteem is a self-imposed limitation. The first step to rising above this restrictive thinking is to become clear on your intent in the negotiation. Exactly what do you want, why do you want it, and what are you willing to do to get it? Once youve drawn that line, never cross it. Never do anything that lowers your self-esteem. If it adversely affects your well-being, walk away from it. No matter how tense the negotiation gets, never lower your standards just to achieve the goal you desire. Absolutely nothing is worth the extreme negativity a loss of self-respect would bring. High self-esteem results from what we do in life, not from what we have. When your conduct is below your standard and you dont correct it, your self-image will suffer. When you do things that make you feel good about yourself, your self-esteem and your self-image is enhanced.
7. Ask effectively.
If you ask in the right way, anything is possible. You can have whatever you want in life: wealth, material goods, happiness, rich life experiences, fulfilling relationships, and more. Before you ask, know what you really need or want. Remember, you must have clarity of intent. Certainty inspires confidence and support. Ask for the essentials first. This is very important. The people who get what they want in this world are those who can work and live lean. Cut back your unrealistic desires and be selective in what you ask for; dont ask for the wrong things. Too many people think that luxuries are necessities and their wants become endless. Sometimes people ask for things that will not help them get what they really want.
8. How you ask is as important as what you ask: Use cleverness and humor in your approach.
Learn to ask artfully. Getting what you want in life sometimes requires the courage to try a new direction when what youre doing doesnt seem to be getting you what you need. Use cleverness and humor in your approach; it not only arouses curiosity, it also frequently overcomes resistance or opposition. A clever or imaginative request is often memorable, and can make more of an impression on others. Dont limit yourself to talking or writing; try asking with more than just wordsask with your actions, too. Try different angles. Use your creativity and be flexible in making requests. If one approach doesnt work, try another. Askwith a smile, by example, through a gesture.
important; say please, thank you and Im sorry when these phrases are called for. Say thanks in advance. When youre wrong say so.
15. Dress appropriately. 16. Schedule negotiations in your own office or surroundings. 17. Eat the right meal at the right time. 18. Use stress reducing strategies to ease physical and emotional tension. 19. Never give up.
Affirmations
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
I know exactly what I want and I am willing to do what is necessary to attain my goal. I am a successful negotiator and I achieve my desires. I carefully look at each situation and take the risks necessary to accomplish my goal. I have the power and ability to attain my desires. I now rise above the self-imposed blocks to get what I want. I am persistent in getting what I want. If one approach does not work, I try another. I am creative and imaginative in the way I negotiate with others. I recognize and use each opportunity to my advantage. I know how to ask for what I want. By helping others I receive help in return.
A P
T E
Become a Success
Statistics show that highly successful people are: 1) self-confident; 2) impatient and excessive about their personal and professional pursuits; 3) committed to their work to the degree of being workaholics; 4) people who want, need and demand to be in control; 5) people who have strong likes and dislikes; 6) introverted as opposed to extroverted; 7) more concerned with being respected than being liked; 8) find the process of attaining their goals much more joyful than the actual accomplishment; 9) predictable and reliable high achievers who always act to secure the future; and 10) people who need to learn to delegate. If you dont fulfill all these profile points, that doesnt mean you cant learn to become successful. YOU CAN! To most people, learning how to become successful means developing a particular skill, or launching a hot idea. But the truth is, thats only a small part of successa necessary part to be sure, but 90 percent of success results from four factors: energy, enthusiasm, self-image and discipline. Success obviously means different things to different people, and although most of the following tips could be applied to any aspect of success, this chapter will focus primarily on monetary success.
2. Learn the four factors that are crucial to any success: energy, enthusiasm, self-image and discipline.
Energy: you must have the mental and physical energy to do what you need to do to succeed. Mental energy is necessary to learn your skills, calculate and remember.
Physical energy is the basis of all energy and is the key ingredient of renewal. How do you attain the energy you require? In a nutshell, it will come from your lifestyle. A lifestyle incorporating physical exercise and a proper diet, plus a balance of work and play, and a minimum of stress almost assures an excess of physical energy. Enthusiasm combined with action will hasten success. Enthusiasm is the psychological adrenaline that drives you to victory against the odds. It usually results from doing what you love to do. Before embarking upon the quest of a goal, be sure you have the enthusiasm to see it through. The more you believe in your goal the more enthusiasm youll have. Then attain the knowledge you need which will generate even more enthusiasm. Self-image: perceiving yourself as a winner is probably the most powerful success factor of all. Self-image results from what you do. The more you do what makes you proud of yourself, the better your self-image becomes. So, stop doing anything that lowers your self-image in any way. And start doing everything you can to generate positive esteem. It is critically important to realize that you will never allow yourself to have what you dont feel worthy of. Do you feel worthy of your goals? If not you must begin immediately to program your conscious and subconscious mind to support your worthiness. Chapter Three Increase Your Self-Esteem offers a blueprint for building your self-image. Self-discipline isnt about self-denial or self-restrictions. In the context of success it means self-determination. It is perseverance in action, and the very basis of success, because it is how you direct your time, energy and resources to manifest your desires. Self-discipline is the one ingredient common to all self-made, successful people. And it certainly isnt difficult to rise above the level of self-discipline of the masses because they are so accustomed to being disciplined by others, they cant discipline themselves. They accept being told what to do, and how and when to do it, by their parents, friends, mate, employer, religion and government. Self-discipline simply means that you do what you need to do, and stop doing what you know doesnt work. It is you and you alone who controls your mind, body and actions. It starts with positive thoughts. If you cant control your thoughts, you cant control your actions. Obviously, your current life is a result of your thoughts, which created your feelings, which causes your actions. Begin immediately to monitor your thoughts and when you catch yourself thinking negative, say to yourself, Success Opportunity. Then quickly imagine the same situation with a positive outcome. This little technique blocks negative subconscious programming and promotes positive thinking.
We all have the same 1,440 minutes per daywhich is forever lostunless you invest it in your future success, acquiring knowledge, learning skills, making business contacts or enhancing your personal life. If you have trouble planning, organizing your life and setting priorities you need to study time management. There are many excellent titles on time management at your local bookstore.
6. Act now.
Dont wait for the ideal time to put your success plans into action. Chances are there will never be a perfect time. Success comes to those who are bold enough to risk. Courage is the willingness to be afraid and to act anyway.
spending quality time with your child, enjoying a hobby, or even attending to your spiritual needs. But this balance is critical to your overall well being. Maintaining your equilibrium needs to become a central priority. If you allow yourself to get out of balance, things will start to go wrong in the area you are not attending to. If your ignoring your relationship for your career, you can count on relationship problems which will then indirectly effect your work career. If you arent eating and exercising properly, youll probably get sick, which will again indirectly affect your success career.
If any of your answers were negative, you have a problem with beliefs that must be solved by finding the cause of the belief, or through reprogramming. There are many ways to process the cause of the belief: metaphysical counseling, past-life regression, self hypnosis, psychiatric therapy, etc. You will have to find what works best for you.
percent of your efforts. The idea is to increase your efforts in the area that is paying off and delegate to others the busy work that isnt generating the high-percentage return.
14. Spend each moment doing the most productive thing you can.
A simple reminder that you may want to write out and put up on the mirror in your bathroom, on the dashboard of your car and on your desk: I will spend each moment doing the most productive thing I can. Think about that. Its a statement from you to yourself. Let it become your affirmation for success. I will spend each moment doing the most productive thing I can. I will spend each moment doing the most productive thing I can. And then do it.
Affirmations
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
I take control of my life and create unlimited monetary abundance. Every day in every way I become more and more successful. My creative thinking now opens the doors to abundance. I now focus my attention on making great amounts of money. I am totally confident of my success. I am clear on my intent to become successful. I am willing to do what I need to do to succeed. I live a lifestyle that generates high energy. I am worthy and deserving of wealth and success. I surround myself with happy and successful people.
I am self-disciplined and I do what I need to do to succeed. I spend my time constructively, profitably and in ways that fulfill me. I enthusiastically accept a leadership position. I will spend each moment doing the most productive thing I can.
A P
Create Happiness
For most of us, happiness is what life is all about. Our dreams and goals revolve around happiness. And it seems that we know what is best for us, because when we are happier, we are also healthier. Research clearly shows that happier people have fewer physical ills, they age slower and live longer. There is no one happiness formula that is right for everyone, but the behavioral experts continue to prove that there are several factors that contribute most to meaningful happiness. Happiness is a state of well being, filled with positive feelings toward yourself and the world. Of course, truth is what works for you, and if you believe something to be, it becomes so for you. So your own ideas about happiness are important to the attainment of happiness. If you stop to think about it, just about every decision you make is based upon what you think will bring you more happiness. All of the important aspects of your life, your love and relationships, your job, your level of success, your friendships, your sexuality, and spirituality are a means to bring you happiness. Among the encouraging news found in psychological research studies comes knowledge that people are infinitely changeable. Once they have established clarity of intent, they can alter their personalities, rise above neurotic patterns, and find happiness at almost any age. The experts claim that throughout your entire life relationships are continually reshaping you. And an imbalance at one point can be corrected later on. Most of the suggestions have already been shared in other chapters, but Im going to repeat them again, together, because this combination of factors is most likely to generate happiness.
1. Love yourself
Love yourself. This is critically important. Self-esteem is a cornerstone of happiness and mental health. Contentment is a benefit of loving yourself and is the core of motivation. Your self-esteem is primarily based upon what you do in life. When you do things that make you feel good about yourself, you increase your self-esteem. When you do things that make you feel bad about yourself, you lose self-esteem. (Read the Enhance Self-Esteem chapter.) Self-esteem is also the result of how you look. So if there is something you dont like about the way you look, get to work on a program to change for the better. This is sometimes the fastest way to begin increasing your feelings of self-worth.
value here. It seems that when you care about someone else, you feel better about yourself.
10. Accept that you can not change other human beings
No one can change someone else, nor should they expect another person to become anyone other than who they are. This is faulty thinking, for any forced change will not last, or it will result in new eruptions of unsatisfactory behavior. We are all free human beings and must be respected for what we are, not for what someone else wants us to be. It is a basic human right to be who you are without changing your ideas or behavior to
satisfy someone else. If your behavior makes someone else uncomfortable, they have the right to leave. The same goes for you. Often in a close relationship, one person will compromise in hopes of achieving harmony. They change, and thus the other person is now reacting to a different, changed person. And often they also change, not because they are being asked to, but because they want to. In a situation like this, the change is natural and will probably last.
Affirmations
The final chapter explains how to use the following affirmations as self-talk and how to include them in a self-hypnosis format for daily mind programming.
Every day in every way I love myself more and more. I make the time to do things that are satisfying and enjoyable. I am self-confident and self-reliant. I give love and I am open and receptive to receiving love. I catch negative thoughts and turn them positive.
Without resistance, I now accept the things I cannot change. I choose to live one day at a time. I seek out friends of both sexes. I accept others as they are without expecting them to change. Negativity flows through me without affecting me. I now view problems only as opportunities. I maintain a daily exercise program. I act to create a diverse and thrilling life. I know I can change myself in any way I desire.
The Technique
First, use deep breathing to relax your body and mind. Take a very deep in-breath, and hold it for as long as you comfortably can. Then let the breath out slowly through slightly parted lips; this allows you to retain the moisture in your mouth. When you think the air is all the way out, contract your stomach muscles and push it even further out. Then repeat the process. Do this for a couple minutes before you begin the body relaxation. When you begin to relax your physical body, play the role, play the part and imagine your body relaxing in response to the suggestions.
Body Relaxation
Close your eyes. Use the following as a recording script or paraphrase the words in your mind: The relaxing power is now entering the toes of both of my feet at the same time. It is moving right on down into my arches ... into my heels, and right on up into my ankles. Completely relaxed. Completely relaxed. And the relaxing power now moves on up my legs to my knees, relaxing all the muscles as it goes ... and on up my legs to my thighs and to my hips, permeating every cell and every atom. An my full attention is on relaxing my body as the relaxing power now moves on up into the fingers of both of my hands ... relaxing my hands. And my forearms are relaxing ... and my upper arms are relaxing. My fingers and hands and forearms and upper arms are now just completely relaxed. And the relaxing power moves on down into the base of my spine, and I imagine a warmth in the base of my spine. And the warmth now moves slowly up my spine ... up my spine ... up my spine, and into the back of my neck and shoulder muscles. And the back of my neck and shoulder muscles are loose and limp ... loose and limp ... just completely relaxed. And the relaxing power now moves on up the back of my neck and into; my scalp ... relaxing my scalp. And the relaxing power drains down into my facial muscles ... relaxing my facial muscles. My jaw is relaxed. I leave a little space between my teeth. And my throat is relaxed. My entire body is now relaxed all over in every way ... and all tension is gone from my body and mind.
Deepening
Visualize yourself in a situation in which you are going down, down, down as you count backward from seven to one. Number seven: deeper, deeper, deeper, down, down, down. Number six: deeper, deeper, deeper, down, down, down. Number five: deeper, deeper, deeper, down, down, down. Number four: deeper, deeper, deeper, down, down, down. Number three: deeper, deeper, deeper, down, down, down. Number two: deeper, deeper, deeper, down, down, down. Number one. And I am now relaxed and at ease and I feel a sense of deepness. I remain consciously aware of my surrounding, but my body is going to sleep ... to sleep ... to sleep. Number seven: deeper, deeper, deeper, down, down, down. Number six: deeper, deeper, deeper, down, down, down. Number five: deeper, deeper, deeper, down, down, down. Number four: deeper, deeper, deeper, down, down, down. Number three: deeper, deeper, deeper, down, down, down. Number two: deeper, deeper, deeper, down, down, down. Number one ... and I am now in a deep, deep altered state of consciousness.
At this point you are deep in an altered state of consciousness, or deep in a meditative state, or deep in hypnosis, whichever you prefer to call it. They are the same thing. Next, give yourself a suggestion such as the following: And Im now relaxed and at ease and I can awaken at any time by simply counting up from one to five and say the words, wide awake. So Im always in control of my mind-programming sessions. And Im gong to begin with suggestions that will be communicated to every level of my body and mind, and they will be accepted on every level of my body and mind. Insert from 9 to 15 appropriate suggestions/affirmations as found at the end of each chapter or create your own. Then say: And these suggestions have been communicated to every level of my body and mind, and theyve been accepted on every level of my body and mind. ///// And Im now going to visualize my desires as already being successfully accomplished. I fantasize the desired result of this programming, by creating every detail in my mind ... my feelings and reactions ... the reactions of others. Everything. Your subconscious mind is a visual consciousness, so it responds best to visual programming. Visualize what you desire as a mental movie. You are the producer, director and star. Use other people in your movies, but as the director you are in control of their words, actions and reactions. You imagine the events exactly the way you like to experience them in real life. By seeing your goals as accomplished, your subconscious is able to fully comprehend the goal. It then beings to work in subtle ways to manifest the inner belief in your outer life. Spend one to three minutes visualizing. Vary your mental movies. As an example if you desire to lose weight, here are some variations: 1) You see yourself step on a scale and watch the dial swing, slow down, then stop at your desired weight. You hear yourself exclaim with delight, you imagine the smile on your face, and you feel the elation. 2) While out in the world, you run into a friend you havent seen for a long time. Your friend is amazed at your thin body and proceeds to tell you so. Create all the dialogue and interaction. 3) Youre shopping in a clothing store and the salesclerk asks your size (use the size you want to be). Imagine the process of trying on the clothes. They fit perfectly. Feel the elation. The clerk compliments you on your figure. Next, support the visualizations with phrases like the following: Ive just seen my own reality and the visualizations manifest in my life. I ask it, I beseech it, I mark it, and so it is. And Im now going to repeat a mantra to saturate my mind with a message. I will shout the words out silently and imagine them echoing out across the universe and back to me. Create one sentence that best expresses what you desire. Repeat it over and over from 10 to 20 times. Thats right. Ive programmed this suggestion on every level of my being, and it becomes my reality. //// And now, once again, its time to imagine another mental movie. One to three minutes visualizing. Next repeat the suggestions. Ive just seen my own reality, and upon awakening I will remember all that has been communicated. Ill awaken feeling as if Ive just had a refreshing nap. My head will be clear, and Ill think and act with calm self-assurance ... feeling glad to be alive and peace with myself, the world and everyone in it. On the count of five I will open my eyes and be wide awake. Number one, I feel the life blood returning to my arms and legs.
Number two, coming on up and at peace with all life. Number three, coming on up feeling an internal balance and harmony. Number four, returning to my waking state. Number five, wide awake, wide awake.
Body Position
For your self-hypnosis sessions, try to pick a time when you will not be interrupted and a place where it is quiet. You may either sit in a chair or lie down. If you are sitting, be sure both feet are flat on the floor and place your hands on your legs. Do not cross your legs; any weight can feel heavier during hypnosis. The prone position is best unless it causes you to go to sleep. Avoid altered-state work when youre very tired. Each session conditions your subconscious mind and you dont want to condition it to fall asleep when you go into hypnosis. If you fall asleep twice while in the prone position, do your sessions in a sitting position for a few days. Your subconscious mind contains all of the memories of this life (and past lives), but it has very little reasoning power; thus it can easily be programmed contrary to your conscious desires, unless you know how to work with it. There is no danger whatsoever in falling asleep while in an altered state; it is only the habit pattern that is to be avoided. If you wear contact lenses and normally remove them when you go to sleep, take them out before going into an altered state.
The Environment
Certain conditions are more conducive than others to doing altered-state work. An overly warm room is much better than a cool one. Darkness helps most people to visualize more effectively, so if you dont have a dark room, use one of the sleep masks available at most drugstores. If your environment is noisy, use earplugs. If youre using a tape, use headphones. If it is extremely noisy, you may also want to play another tape/CD at the same time to block out the noise. Sound effects programs such as rain or the ocean are good, and New Age music might also be helpful.
Spinning or Swaying
A small percentage of people sometimes experience a feeling of spinning or swaying while in an altered state, especially toward the end of the induction. There is nothing to fear; you are probably attempting to leave your body and astral project. To stop the effect, simply give yourself the strong command, Stabilize! On the count of three I will stabilize and the swaying ceases, one, two, three. You are always in control in selfhypnosis/meditation.
Headaches
On rare occasions, someone will awaken from an altered state with a headache that feels like a tight band around the forehead. Although somewhat uncomfortable, it is not a matter for concern and will usually disappear within 30 minutes.
Heres an example as to how it is used on my Master of Life Video Hypnosis programming: And you now become a Master of Life, living in harmony with yourself and your world. And I am now going to give you some key trigger words for posthypnotic conditioned response. Any time in your daily life that you find yourself needing to recall your dedication to the goal of enlightenment, you will simply stop what you are doing, close your eyes, take a deep breath and say these words quietly to yourself, Master of Life. The words, Master of Life are a conditioned response signal to your subconscious mind and when you say these words, you will experience peace, balance, and harmony. This conditioned-response technique draws upon the power of your mind to support you in the fulfillment of your enlightenment goal. The words Master of Life now become a post-hypnotic suggestion for mental tranquility, peace, balance, and harmony. And you will experience the suggestion as totally effective. Every time you hear this suggestion and every time you use your Master of Life programming, it will become more and more effective.
of up and down brain waves were created when the woman came into the room and did a dance as when the subject imagined her doing a dance. The same was true with all other situations with all of the test subjects. The brain waves were identical, so the computer part of the mind was obviously incapable of telling the real from the imagined. Another supportive series of tests were conducted by the University of Chicago. These and many similar tests show how our subconscious computer actually creates the reality for which it is programmed. Three test groups of subjects took part in a mental programming experiment based upon shooting a basketball. All the participating students were tested as to their individual basket-shooting ability and the results were tabulated. Group One was told, Dont play any basketball for a month. In fact, just forget about basketball for the entire month. Group Two was told, You are each to practice shooting baskets for one full hour a day, everyday, for the month. Group Three was told, You are to spend one hour a day imagining you are successfully shooting baskets. Do this each day for the month. Fantasize yourself at being successful shooting baskets. See every detail of your accomplishments in your mind. One month later, the three groups were again tested as to their basket-shooting ability. The Group One participants, who hadnt played basketball for a month, tested exactly the same as they did the first time. Group Two, who had been practicing a full hour every day for a month, demonstrated a 24-percent improvement in their basketshooting ability. Group Three, who had only imagined that they were successfully shooting baskets for an hour each day, tested 23 percent improved in their actual basketshooting abilityonly one percentage point less than the group that had actually been practicing. Obviously, the group that only imagined shooting baskets successfully programmed their subconscious mind to perform almost as effectively as those who had actually practiced. The subconscious will always work to replicate your inner programming in your outer life. And it can be fooledtricked. It can be programmed, especially by vividly imagining what you desire as if it were already so. A breakthrough in physics research shows how the use of altered states of consciousness can lead to a transformation in nearly every part of your life. An experimentally confirmed theory earned Belgian chemist Ilya Prigogine a Nobel Prize. Called the theory of dissipative structures, it solved the mystery regarding why the use of altered states can result in life-changing insights, new behavior patterns, and the relief of lifelong phobias or ailment. Heres how the theory works as applied to real people: First, human beings are structures. The structure of your body is composed of bones, muscles, and ligaments. Your brain, however, is given structure by the thoughts and memories that dictate your actions. It is the programming of your brain that provides it with structure. Now, Prigogines theory states that complex structures (such as the human brain) require an enormous and consistent flow of energy to maintain. In the brain that energy is measured as brain-wave levels on an EEG machine. The up-and-down pattern of these
wave levels reflects a fluctuation in the amount of energy reaching the brain. The larger the fluctuation of brain-wave levels, the larger the fluctuation of energy. In wide-awake beta consciousness, your brain-wave levels would show up on an EEG as small, rapid, up-and-down lines. There is little fluctuation in the level of energy. However, when you change your state of consciousness through the use of altered-state techniqueshypnosis, meditation, relaxation, et ceterayour brain-wave levels shift to alpha and theta. There is a lot of fluctuation in the level of energy in these altered states. According to Prigogines theory, small fluctuations of energy (such as beta rhythms) are suppressed by the brain, so it stays essentially the same. Thats why changes suggested to a conscious mind usually have little effect. The message is suppressed by all the existing programming. However, says Prigogine, large fluctuations of energy (such as alpha and theta rhythms) can cause the structure to break apart and reorganize itself into a higher and even more complex form. Thats why suggestions given to an individual exploring in the alpha and theta brain-wave levels are so effective in creating change. The new suggestion, dropped into the uneven alpha rhythms like a pebble into a pond, creates a ripple effect that tears apart old programming and creates new behaviors and viewpoints. Your brain dismantles its old concepts and reorganizes them into new, more complex, and usually more meaningful forms. When this shift occurs, you may become aware of information about your life and goals that your old mental structures kept hidden from you. You may experience a sudden, powerful insight into an unsolved problem and you may even release yourself from its effects. There is also an added bonus. Each transformation makes the next one likelier. You see, every time you trigger a collapse of memory or data structures and your brain reorganizes them into more complex forms, it requires more energy to maintain those new structures. And they are even more vulnerable to fluctuations of energy. Basically, the more complex a structure is, the more unstable it is, and the easier it is to trigger the next transformation. If you carry this concept to its logical conclusion, youll see that every time you successfully use an altered state of consciousness to achieve new insights, or to program or reprogram your mind, you increase your chances of success the next time you do it. In other words, the more you program self-improvement, the easier it gets. And the more youll understand how unhappiness and failure are self-inflicted, while happiness and success are self-bestowed.