Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Table of Contents
Introduction ............................................................................................................3 Step 1 - The Mindset Of Successful Seducers .....................................................4 Step 2 - How To Be Confident ...............................................................................8 Step 3 - Womens Biggest Need Exposed ..........................................................10 Step 4 - ABCs Of Style & Body Language ..........................................................12 Step 5 - How To Naturally Start Conversations With Any Woman .......................14 Step 6 - How To Stay Out Of The Friend Zone ....................................................15 Step 7 - How to Keep The Conversation Flowing ...............................................18 Step 8 - The Secrets Of Flirting Revealed ...........................................................21 Step 9 - How To Ask Her Out ...............................................................................24 Step 10 - How To Use Facebook & Texting To Get Her On A Date With You ......27 Step 11 - How To Go On Your First Date & What To Do ......................................28 Step 12 How To Know When Shes Ready To Be Kissed .................................31 Conclusion ...........................................................................................................34
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Introduction
Hi, my name is Jad T Jones. Now, I know you're thinking, who is this guy, why should I care, and is this a good book to read? I'd like to start off by telling you that I understand completely where you're coming from, because I have been in your shoes. I grew up as a very shy person. I was mostly raised by my mother. My father was always away on business and trips, and when he was at home he didn't really talk to us about anything. So, what happened? For years and years growing up, I was extremely frustrated with my situation with women. On one side, I had a huge desire and love for girls. I wanted to have a girlfriend so badly ever since I was a young teenager. But at the same time, I was extremely shy and insecure. I had no one to help me out with this problem. I was too ashamed to ask for help from other people. After all, men should be macho. Men should just naturally know how to get a girlfriend. Well, I didn't. It took me years and years before I figured out how to consistently get a girlfriend in my life. I would have a girlfriend here and there, but most of the time I would spend years, months, or even years alone just waiting, hoping for something to happen. Until one day, I made a decision that I needed to get this part of my life handled. So, for the past few years, I have almost exclusively focused on the mastery and understanding of women and dating. And now, I know how to get a girlfriend more easily. And I'm writing this book to every man out there who hasn't had a role model, who didn't have anyone to teach him and guide him on the way of getting a girlfriend.
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I need you to write down an exact description of your ideal woman. This is not for you. This is for your mind. Your mind works with specifics. The more clear the image is in your head, the higher the possibility and the quicker you will get your next girlfriend. Again, you need to see it in your mind in order to believe it. The next mindset you need to have around women is you need to understand that not all women are going to be ready to be your girlfriend. After years of being in the world of women & dating, I have discovered that there is a basic ratio you should expect when hitting on women. If you ask 10 women out, you will have an average of seven that are not interested and one to three that are. Now a lot of men take rejection very personally. But rejection is not personal at all. You never know why a woman rejects you or says no to you. It could be for many reasons. Maybe she just broke up with her boyfriend. Maybe she has a boyfriend she's deeply in love with. Maybe she's in a bad mood. Maybe she has her period. Maybe someone in her family just died. Maybe she's in a rush. Maybe she was hurt by a man 10 years ago and can't trust men. Maybe you remind her of someone that she doesn't like. And the list can go on and on and the possibilities are infinite. So it is very important when going forward and looking for a girlfriend to know that not every woman is going to be interested in you, and it's not personal. People have things going on. Just imagine a woman who is very beautiful but not your type came up to you and you graciously and kindly declined her, her advances. Should she take this personally? Of course not. It's not personal. So I want you to have the same outlook with women. A big mistake a lot of men make is that they only go for one girl. They put all their eggs in one basket and they have their happiness and selfesteem dependent on one woman, and if that woman says no or isn't interested, the man is crushed. This is a recipe for failure. In the world of dating and seduction, you can never narrow your choices down to only one girl. There may be one girl that you are
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primarily interested in, and by all means go for her and try to make her your girlfriend. But understand that there is no guarantee that that one girl will be your girlfriend. All the most successful men in the world keep their options open. They always go after many women, because they understand that to some degree it is a numbers game. Some woman may not be interested in you today. But she will be interested and ready for a relationship with you two months down the line. In order to be successful in getting a girlfriend, you have to pursue at least three or more women. If you neglect this, you will find that unless you get lucky and you get a hole in one, you will find that you will still be alone. So please do not neglect this. My recommendation is go after 10 women and then you are guaranteed to at least get one to three that you can choose from. Another very important mindset to have is the following. You need to know that women are waiting and longing to be romanced and swept off their feet. The whole time they're growing up, they're watching those romantic Disney movies where Prince Charming comes in, sweeps them off their feet, and they live happily ever after. Well, women are still waiting for this to happen to them. You have to understand that these days women are in very pressured lifestyles and the fairytale has died. But secretly they are longing for a man to come and sweep them off their feet. That woman that you have a crush on, that you want to make your girlfriend, she might seem like she is just satisfied, disinterested. But deep down inside, she's waiting. She's hoping that some man will have the balls to go up to her, tell her how much he likes her, and just sweep her off her feet and take her on an adventure. Women need romance in their lives. A study was conducted in New York City with highincome female executives. And they were all asked the same question. Would you give up all this money and all this professional career that you've worked so hard for in exchange for a perfect romantic partner and relationship. And all of those highpowered female executives said
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"yes." This shows you that women desire a romantic relationship above all else, and it is our job to give them that gift. When you take the mindset that you are a gift to women, and you have such a valuable and powerful gift to give to them, then that puts the power back in your hands. And you can go out and seduce women with the confidence of knowing that you are giving them what they deeply and mostly greatly desire, something that's missing in their lives. You are bringing that into their lives and they love you for it. Remember, in courtship the woman is the passive and the man is the active. You have to take the first step. You have to take action. No woman wants to initiate the seduction. This is your job. It may be scary sometimes to go out and ask a girl out. Believe me, I know. This was one of my biggest fears. But after you have read this book, you will know how to do. So please remember all these mindsets. And having these mindsets will allow you to move forward with a positive attitude and not get your heart broken. You will hopefully learn how to move with ease and grace in the land of women.
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So my advice to you is this. If you are the kind of person who has low selfesteem or lacks confidence with women, have no fear. You do not have to wait until you have more confidence before you go out there and try to get a girlfriend. I tried to wait it out for years and years, and I will tell you this. Your confidence does not increase with age. The more you wait, the more insecure you'll feel. You are ready now to go and get the girl of your dreams. There are many times where I've successfully seduced a woman where I was insecure, nervous, fidgety, fumbling over my words, had sweaty palms, etc. But I ended up connecting with her. And the reason is that women recognize that I'm being honest with them, and that honesty is sexy. Because the man who has the courage to admit what he's really feeling, and being open vulnerably to her, that is intensely attractive to her. So the only confidence you need is the confidence to speak the truth in times of pressure. When a woman wants a confident man, all she's asking is the following. She wants you to present yourself to her in a full and honest light with all your imperfections. She wants to see who you really are, and not who you're pretending to be. Remember this: nobody likes fake people. If someone walks up to you and is very fake, will you like them? No, never. So this similarly goes with women. If you're walking up to a woman and trying to fake your confidence, she will feel it, and she will not like you. She will reject your energy. So make sure that when you approach women, you do it in an honest, open, genuine way. You do not need to be perfect. You just need to be honest and transparent. The fear of asking a girl out might never go away. You have to feel the fear and do it anyways. But if you're doing it through honesty you will eventually have success with women. Honesty leads to confidence, which leads to attraction, so be honest to get a girlfriend.
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A lot of men are focused on impressing women and causing attraction in a woman. But before you can cause attraction in a woman, you need to make her feel safe around you. Once she feels safe around you, then the stage is set for her to become attracted to you, because now she is relaxed and emotionally open and ready for your advances. So remember, when talking to a woman, your number one priority is first, make her feel safe and comfortable around you. Once you have done this, you are way ahead of the game. Safety creates connection, and connection leads to attraction. So if you want to attract a woman, make her feel safe and connect with her first, and then the stage is set for something wonderful to happen. Exercise: Go out and try to be as honest as you can with the women you talk to. You can start with women who aren't that intimidating to you, and just practice speaking your mind. You can do this with people in general, men too. If you feel insecure, scared, nervous, or awkward in a situation, speak your mind. Blurt it out to the other person. Chances are, they are feeling the same thing. Chances are, they will feel relieved to see the human side of you. Society is filled with fake people, and it is the rare individual who is a gem among the lumps of coal. It is he who is confident enough to just speak honestly. People connect with us most when they see that we are vulnerable and we are human, so stop trying to be perfect. Perfect is overrated. Confidence is overrated. The only thing you need to do is be transparent and real to people, and you will be amazed at how many doors that opens for you. Women are so tired of all the men who are acting and faking. So when you come along and you are honest, you are a bit vulnerable, and you are just you, then she will find you a lot more attractive than all the other fake guys.. Practice this, make it a habit, and it will help you connect with women a lot better.
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So, those are just the basics of style Dress in clean clothes, keep your body clean, keep your body hairs trimmed, exercise regularly, try to eat healthy, and just make the best of what you have. Women will appreciate you for it. The next important aspect of attraction is body language. Body language comes down to your tone of voice and the way you hold yourself. Basically, when you completely accept yourself and like yourself, then all your body language will automatically be on cue; you will come across as congruent. Remember: just be honest, transparent and go for what you want; its that simple. Do that and you will appear confident to everyone. When you accept yourself; others have no choice but to accept you. Once you adopt these mindsets and style habits, people will perceive you as more attractive and more confident. Once you have this style and body language done, you will see that women will be attracted to you before you even say a single word. Remember, body language accounts for 93 % of communication, so do not neglect it. It is much more important than the simple words you say when you talk to the girl you like.
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A good way to compliment a woman is to compliment her on something very specic. You can compliment her on the way she speaks, the way her eyes sparkle, the way her dress complements her body so well. You can compliment the way she moves, the way she walks. You can compliment her on the way she smells, her beautiful smile, the sparkle in her eye. The more genuine and specic your compliment is, the better it will be received. Women receive thousands of compliments during their lifetimes, but most of those compliments are supercial and general. A beautiful woman has heard 'Oh my God, you are so beautiful' a thousand times. But it is the rare man who will point out the specics of what makes her so attractive that will sweep her off her feet. So be specic in your compliments and you will see that they have such a huge impact in regards to opening up women to you. Another advantage of giving women compliments is this When you give a woman a compliment, you are putting yourself out there. You are putting your ego on the line and she recognizes this fully. Women appreciate men who are brave and condent enough to speak their minds. By complimenting her in a genuine way, you are being honest. And honesty lets her feel safe, and when she is safe, she opens up emotionally and when she has opened up emotionally she is ready to be attracted to you. By complimenting women regularly, you are setting yourself apart from over 95% of the men out there who just give general thoughtless compliments. The time to give a woman a compliment is as soon as possible. If you start talking to a woman, you can compliment her within the rst ve seconds of talking to her. If you prepare a compliment at home and then go and try to use it on a woman, chances are it won't be nearly as impactful as if you just speak your mind at the moment.
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Exercise: Make complimenting people, a habit. From now on, whenever you are in the supermarket, on the street, at school or at work or wherever, anytime you see something that you admire in another person, make it a point to compliment them. Make it in a very casual, matter of fact way and just make it a habit to appreciate people. I have personally adopted this habit and still practice it today. Every time I see a beautiful woman, I compliment her. Every time I see a person I admire, I compliment them. I compliment men, I compliment women, I compliment anyone who deserves a compliment. Do not hold compliments back; because once it becomes a habit, then it comes out a lot more genuinely when you need it most. So the next time you meet the woman of your dreams that compliment will just ow off your tongue and she will just love you for it. A compliment shows your intention with a woman. Make sure you include it in your repertoire of tools. If you do not express explicit interest in a woman, she might slot you in a friend zone and the friend zone is usually a life sentence. So stay away from it at all costs!
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Notice that at that time your body was relaxed, and you were not all up in your head thinking about, "What am I going to say next?" You were just in the moment, spontaneous, and allowing every moment to unfold as it does naturally. What makes men turn serious when they're talking to attractive women is this: when you go up in your head and start thinking about and planning what you're going to say next, what happens is you get sucked into your head. If you are up in your head thinking about what you're going to say next, then you have lost the present moment. You are no longer there, present with her. You have left. Your body is there physically, but mentally you're not there anymore. This is a very big mistake that most men make. And it is a deadly one, because if a woman you are talking to feels like you're not present with her, she will disconnect from you. She will not feel you anymore. And if she cannot feel you anymore then she's not going to feel attracted to you. When talking to a woman you need to keep the connection between you and her solid. And you do this by being completely present in the moment with her, and staying out of your head. Thinking is highly overrated. The truth of the matter is you do not ever have to think about what you are going to say next. When you're present you hear what the other person is saying more, and most importantly you stay connected with the woman. The best way to keep a conversation comfortable and owing with a woman is to stay completely present with her. The idea is to have so much attention focused on her that you completely forget about yourself. Focus on how deep she is breathing, how fast or slow she is breathing. Are her eyes and pupils dilating? Is she playing with her hair? What is her body language? Is she touching herself in any way? Is she xing her dress? When you put that much attention on a woman she cannot help but be seduced by you. Because it is the rare man who gives her such undivided and genuine attention.
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The way into a woman's heart is by being fully present and witness to her. When she feels you present with her, then she feels you, and is connected to you, and trusts you, and is open to starting some kind of intimate relationship with you. Remember, women need to feel safe. When you're all up in your head talking to her and you're not present with her, she can feel that. She can see that you're distracted. This makes her nervous. This makes her feel like you're hiding something. So this makes her close down because her need for safety is not being met. Conversely you can be completely present with her, and make her feel safe and connected with you. You must have faith. It comes down to science. Our logical mind is not where the creativity happens. Our creativity happens in our subconscious mind. And the prerequisite for creativity is full inthemoment presence; is a silent mind. So you have no choice but to be present with women, because that's what it takes to connect with them, and that's what it takes to get your creativity owing. Anything else will not work. Exercise. Go out and practice full presence in all of your communications with people. See how long you can stay connected and present with someone without thinking of what you're going to say next. This is challenging at rst, but quickly becomes a habit. The more present you can stay with a woman the easier it will be to attract and seduce her. Men who truly are present with women and truly connect and listen to women are few and far between. By being that man you are literally separating yourself from the millions of men out here. Go out, practice and make this a habit.
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These are all examples of playful irting, playful teasing. Notice, they are in no way, shape or form, hurtful or offensive to her. You are not trying to offend her, or hurt her in any way. You are not trying to hurt her selfesteem in any way. Flirting is done in a way that is very obvious that you are joking. From time to time, a woman will misunderstand you and take offense to what you say. If that happens, you can simply apologize and genuinely tell her that you didn't mean to hurt her feelings and that you were just joking around. When a woman sees that you generally didn't mean to hurt her feelings, her ego, her selfesteem, she will easily forget about it. But remember, teasing is playful and not made to hurt anyone. So don't make it too personal and keep it very fun, playful and light. The way you can irt with a girl nonverbally is through your body language. You can look at a girl in a way that is slightly sexual but at the same time playful and lighthearted. You do not want to look at her like you are looking at a piece of steak that you want to jump on and devour. One thing that really excites woman is emotions; is touch. If you are in an appropriate environment to touch her, then do so as much as possible. When I say touch her, I mean touching her in nonsexual areas of her body rst. Take her hand; touch her elbow, her shoulder, her forearm, the small of her back. Give her a touch here and there. Let her know that you are not afraid to touch her. When we speak to someone and we touch them simultaneously, it impacts them on a much more emotional level. Remember, you want to be emotionally impactful in order for a woman to be attracted to you and to remember you and to think about you when you walk away. Also, you want to show her that you are not just a potential friend, that you are interested in her romantically. If a woman accepts your compliments cheerfully, and sits there and has a conversation with you, and playfully teases you back and forth and irts with you, then that's a pretty big sign that she may be interested in you. Remember! WOMEN ARE VERY EMOTIONAL CREATURES. You want to create a roller-coaster of emotions when you talk to them. Playfully tease
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at any opportunity that arises. Don't be afraid to tease. The last thing a woman wants is some boring guy to just be nice to her. Everyone is nice to her. Be different! Exercise: When you go out and have conversations with women, or even with men, make an effort to see how much you can playfully tease with them. Make it a habit of not taking your conversations and interactions with people so seriously. Don't take yourself or other people too seriously. See how much playful banter you can throw back and forth between you and another person. Flirting is a skill that will be developed over time and practice. So practice at every chance you get. Just because you are not seducing a specic woman, you can still tease her playfully, just to get your practice going. Remember, the more you practice something, the better you get at it. So, once a woman youre attracted to shows up in front of you, you'll be ready to tease her playfully, and irt with her and make her feel that emotional rollercoaster that will have her absolutely loving your company. The main thing to learn about irting is this. Flirting is a playful, lighthearted activity. It is meant to be fun for both people. So have fun with it. Women love a man with a sense of humor. And when you irt with a woman, you are demonstrating to her that you have a great personality.
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The outcome is not important. All that matters is the action. All you have control over in life is your actions. The outcome is outside of your control. To worry about something that is outside of your control is insanity. All you have to do is take the action and then get a response. There is no magic formula other than this. As long as you do the action, you are a winner. Why? Because the only thing you control is your actions. Take enough actions and you will eventually get the outcome you want. Its that simple Heres a tip: Instead of asking a woman a question, "Would you go out with me?" what you're going to do is you're going to offer her an invitation. Instead of saying to a girl, "Would you go out with me for dinner next Friday?" you can say, "I am going out next Friday for dinner. You should join me." You are demonstrating that you are a cool guy and that you have things going on in your life; you are just inviting her to join your fun life. It shows that you are not dependent on her for your happiness. And women love to see that in a man. Exercise. Make it a habit to invite people to activities that you are already going to do. Once you make this a habit, it will come across a lot more naturally when you're saying it to the woman who you're interested in. Remember, all you're doing is saying, "I'm going to XYZ place on this day. You should come. It would be fun." That's all you're doing, is inviting them. It's casual, it's low pressure, and it's no problem if they say no.
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If a woman tells you that she would love to come, but she's busy on that day, you can just casually say, "OK, no problem, let's just keep in touch and we can hang out some other time. What's the best way to contact you?" Then she will either give you her number, or her Facebook, or whatever method that she nds best for her.
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Step 10 - How To Use Facebook & Texting To Get Her On A Date With You
Usually if a woman is interested in you she will either give you her phone number or her Facebook. If a woman ever says "It's OK, I'll just take your number" then don't do it. She is not interested. If a woman is unwilling to give you her phone number or her Facebook that usually means she is not interested in pursuing a relationship with you. So now that you have her Facebook or her phone number or both you can start to communicate with her. There is no rule of how long you need to wait before talking to her. If she gave you her number then you can text her very soon after.
The basic rules are as follows: Once you get her contact information stay cool and dont act too needy. Dont be the guy whos calling her 10 times a day and stalking her on Facebook ;) Be chill. Texting and Facebook messaging: Keep your texts and your Facebook messages brief. Keep them playful. If a woman smells any kind of desperation in your communication she will run the opposite way, so lean back, relax. Stay casual. Stay playful. Flirt. Remember there are millions of hot women out there, so maintain an abundance mentality at all times.
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If you can't think of anything then meeting at a coffee shop is also good, because it doesn't cost a lot of money and you kind of have a time limit on your date. So it's not too long. If things go well you can take the date somewhere else, maybe to the movies, or shopping, or just walking around the city. Or you can just go home. Another important thing you need to do on your date is always lead. Do not ask the woman, "So what do you want to do now? Where do you want to go next?" Women hate making decisions, especially in a situation when they're with a man they like. Be the man. Take the lead. Make the decisions. Women don't care if you make bad decisions as long as you make some decision. If you put the pressure on the woman to decide where you're going to go and how long you're going to stay etc. she's going to lose attraction for you. She does not want to think. She wants to be present in the moment and swept away. It's your job to lead, so be the man and lead all the way. The important thing to remember is your day two should be something that ts your everyday lifestyle. If you never go to a fancy restaurant then don't invite her to a fancy restaurant because you are misrepresenting yourself. If she is taken on a fancy restaurant on the rst date she is going to expect that you're going to keep taking her to fancy places. Remember to irt, and touch, and just be lighthearted and playful, and have a good time, because that's all women are looking for. They just want to have a good time. Exercise: If you have a girl you're going to take out, or if you don't have a girl then pretend you have one you're going to take out, and sit down and plan a date right now. See what you would plan, where you would meet. Are you going to pick her up, or are you going to ask her meet you somewhere? Where are you going to go? If you have fun there, where are you going to go next after that? See if you can plan something that is very low cost or free and that is fun and low pressure, and allows you to be playful in your element, show your personality, connect with her, and just have a good time. If you can bring your girl into your reality and show her your world, that will do wonders for you.
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For example; if you're part of a band, then bring her to a practice and let her see you jamming with your friends. If you do videography, then show her your equipment, and maybe show her some work that you've done. Whenever you can show a woman a part of your life she feels more safe and secure, and connected to you because she feels like she knows you better. So use the day two to really showcase who you are, what you are about, what your likes are, and don't try to be too accommodating, and think about how to make a perfect day two for her. She wants to get to know you, so give her the real you upfront.
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arm and arm all day then it's very easy for you to turn your head and kiss her, but if you've been separate all day and just talking then the leap between just talking and then leaning in to kiss her will be very awkward and risky. So the secret of kissing a woman is to do a lot of touching rst. Get her used to your touch. How to know when she's ready to be kissed? When you see that the woman you're with is very comfortable with your arms around her, holding your hand, she doesn't pull away at any time, she stays close to you, when you're sitting side by side your legs are touching, your bodies are touching. Once you're at this stage she's pretty well ready to be kissed. If you notice that she does not move away when you touch her then you can be pretty damn sure that she's ready for you to kiss her. So the way to kiss her is to look into her eyes and just be talking to her or maybe be silent. Brush her hair aside and see if she inches or not. If she doesn't inch then lean in and give her a kiss. Most of the times she will accept your kiss and be happy that you're kissing her. In some rare instances you will nd out that she's a very shy girl and she might giggle and turn away at the last minute. If she giggles and turns away and isn't offended then it's no problem. She just needs a bit more time. You can try again in ve minutes, ten minutes, half an hour, or maybe the next time you see her. It's no big deal. Just take it as a joke, take it playfully, and don't be pushy in any kind of way. When she's ready she will do it. And if shes not interested, then move on to another girl. The rst kiss tells the girl a lot about the chemistry between you two, so it's very important that you give her a good experience. The rst times you kiss a woman do not stick your tongue down her throat. Keep the kiss very light. Use mostly your lips and just lick her lips a bit, maybe have some tongue to tongue, but keep it very light. Also, be the rst one to end the kiss. This shows her that she can be safe around you, that you can control yourself sexually, and that she can be safe to open up to you sexually. It also leaves her longing for more.
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After the rst kiss I like to just continue on with casual conversation and most times the girl will look at you with a look in her eyes that's saying 'oh my God! I can't believe you just kissed me and now you're just casually talking to me again and you stopped the kiss so quickly'. This creates anticipation. Remember, girls love a challenge. Girls love to be teased. You can go in and kiss her a minute later or two minutes later and the second kiss can be a lot more intimate and intense than the rst. The rst kiss communicates that you are safe, that everything is OK, and that you are not desperate. The rst kiss is where you give your rst impression to her about how you are sexually. When she feels that it is light and nonobtrusive then she will appreciate you and really fall for you. So remember! Always lead up to a kiss with a lot of touching. If you do not touch the woman you are dating then it will be very, very hard and awkward to nd a moment in which to kiss her. Find ways in which you can be close together physically and have a lot of touch between you so that when it comes time to kiss it will be a natural, effortless, and fun transition that both of you will enjoy.
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Conclusion
Now that you have gone through these simple 12 steps, its time to go out there and practice! Just remember some of the most important points. Stay positive, playful, and lighthearted. Be fully present with women you're talking to. Show your condence through being completely honest and transparent about who you really are, and how you really feel. Compliment women to make them feel good about themselves, and make them open up to you emotionally. Compliment women to keep you out of the friend zone. Ask women out so you stay out of the friend zone. When you're irting with her, stay playful, friendly, and lighthearted. And remember, this is a game to be enjoyed. When you follow the 12 steps laid out for you in this book, you will nd that getting a girlfriend is a lot easier than you thought. Thank you very much for reading this book. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors. Jad T Jones
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