REFLECTION (Poem) Final Rev. 7/10/2012 Written by Alvin Maningding I wake up every morning.

I look into a mirror and in the cracked glass this is my reflection: I see someone who is flawed, inadequate, abhorrent, perhaps. Wicked as I am. even Elphaba would envy me. But I don't need green skin or a witch's hat to know that I am under the curse of my thoughts thoughts like strong waves constantly flowing trying to pull me under and drown me. I see a person with cut after cut on their wrists, their arms their legs. I slash away, trying to abolish the aberration that is my existence. But, while the wounds are soon to heal and the blood will quickly wash away the scars will forever remain a constant reminder of my weakness and of a battle lost before it had begun. Usually, they do not ask, so I do not tell them what goes on behind the curtains, behind the scenes, behind the suffering. Its okay. Youll be alright. Things will get better. No. Cant you see? It isnt okay, Ill never be alright, and things will not get better. Ive waged a war against the Goliath that is society But they have taken my slingshot they have broken it broken me into pieces with their words their slurs and slander their taunts and vilifications. Freak. Failure. Whore. Slut. But worst of all is their silence, blissful ignorance. What will become of it

if I do what I will not live to regret: if I commit suicide, a suicide in which they will have undoubtedly played a part? What excuses are left to be made then? We didnt know, we didnt realize. She looked fine that day. We never would have thought she was suffering so. Sticks and stones may break my bones but words of hate will shatter my soul. The weight on my shoulders of my drawbacks, defects, deficiencies, six billion secrets, it is a burden of titanic proportions an encumbrance under which I am sinking. Tears well up in my eyes flowing uninhibitedly, unrestrainedly falling drop by drop by drop I wake up every morning. I look into a mirror and in the cracked glass this is my reflection.