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2
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1
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4
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/


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/


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#
p
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g
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G
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2

1
7
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4
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T


/


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,

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/


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t
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w
w
w
.
h
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t
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#
p
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Y T SAM A UT OR
R TICS
ORT ODO Y
G ORG RNARD S A
ALL T INGS CONSID R D
T ALL AND T CROSS
T NAPOL ON O NOTTING ILL
T INNOC NC O AT R RO N
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1
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T


/


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/


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w
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h
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t
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.
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#
p
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-
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MANALI
Y
G. K. C ST RTON
N YORK
|O N LAN COMPANY
MCM II
G
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6
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1
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T


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#
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COPYRIG T, 1912, Y
|O N LAN COMPANY
GI T
.
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1
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/


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/


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#
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CONT NTS
PART I
T NIGMAS O INNOC NT SMIT
C APT R AC
I ow T GR AT IND CAM TO ACON
OUS
II T LUGGAG O AN OPTIMIST .... 26
III T ANN R O ACON 48
I T GARD N O T GOD 71
T ALL GORICAL PRACTICAL |OK R . . 9
PART II
T PLANATIONS O INNOC NT SMIT
I T Y O D AT OR, T MURD R
C ARG 137
II T Two CURAT S OR, T URGLARY
C ARG 184
III T ROUND ROAD OR, T D S RTION
C ARG 23
I T ILD DDINGS OR, T POLYGAMY
C ARG 27
ow T GR AT IND NT ROM A-
CON OUS 30
M90906S
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1
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/


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/


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/


h
t
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w
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#
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MANALI
PART I
T
NIGMAS O INNOC NT SMIT
C APT R I
O T GR AT IND CAM TO ACON
OUS
A IND sprang hgh n the west ke a
wave of unreasonabe happness and
tore eastward across ngand, trang wth t
the frosty scent of forests and the cod nto -
caton of the sea. In a mon hoes and cor-
ners t refreshed a man ke a fagon, and
astonshed hm ke a bow. In the nmost
chambers of ntrcate and embowered houses
t woke ke a domestc e poson, tterng the
foor wth some professor s papers t they
seemed as precous as fugtve, or bowng
G
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2
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1
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/


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#
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MANALI
out the cande by whch a boy read Treasure
Isand and wrappng hm n roarng dark.
ut everywhere t bore drama nto undra-
matc ves, and carred the trump of crss
across the word. Many a harassed mother
n a mean backyard had ooked at fve
dwarfsh shrts on the cothes-ne as at some
sma, sck tragedy t was as f she had hanged
her fve chdren. The wnd came and they
were fu and kckng as f fve fat mps had
sprung nto them and far down n her op-
pressed subconscousness she haf remembered
those coarse comedes of her fathers when the
eves st dwet n the homes of men. Many
an unnotced gr n a dank, waed garden
had tossed hersef nto the hammock wth the
same ntoerant gesture wth whch she mght
have tossed hersef nto the Thames and that
wnd rent the wavng wa of woods and fted
the hammock ke a baoon, and showed her
shapes of quant coud far beyond, and pc-
tures of brght vages far beow, as f she
rode heaven n a fary boat. Many a dusty
cerk or curate poddng a teescopc road of
popars thought for the hundredth tme that
they were ke the pumes of a hearse, when
2
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)

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2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
4
9

G
M
T


/


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/


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:
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w
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.
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#
p
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e
MANALI
ths nvsbe energy caught and swung and
cashed them round hs head ke a wreath or
sautaton of seraphc wngs. There was n
t somethng more nspred and authortatve
even than the od wnd of the proverb for
ths was the good wnd that bows nobody
harm.
The fyng bast struck London ust where
t scaes the northern heghts, terrace above
terrace, as precptous as dnburgh. It was
round about ths pace that some poet, prob-
aby drunk, ooked up astonshed at a those
streets gone skywards, and (thnkng vaguey
of gacers and roped mountaneers) gave t
the name of Swss Cottage, whch t has never
been abe to shake off. At some stage of those
heghts a terrace of ta gray houses, mosty
empty and amost as desoate as the Gram-
pans, curved round at the western end, so
that the ast budng, a boardng estabsh-
ment caed eacon ouse, offered abrupty
to the sunset ts hgh, narrow, and towerng
termnaton, ke the prow of some deserted
shp.
The shp, however, was not whoy deserted.
The propretor of the boardng-house, a Mrs.
3
G
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2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
4
9

G
M
T


/


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/


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:
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w
.
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s
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#
p
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-
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o
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e
MANALI
Duke, was one of those hepess persons upon
whom fate wars n van she smed vaguey
both before and after a her caamtes she
was too soft to be hurt. ut by the ad (or
rather under the orders) of a strenuous nece
she aways kept the remans of a centee,
mosty of young but stess foks. And there
were actuay fve nmates standng dscon-
soatey about the garden when the great gae
broke at the base of the termna tower behnd
them, as the sea bursts aganst the base of an
outstandng cff.
A day that h of houses over London had
been domed and seaed up wth cod coud.
Yet three men and two grs had at ast found
even the gray and chy garden more toer-
abe than the back and cheeress nteror.
hen the wnd came t spt the sky and
shoudered the coudand eft and rght un-
barrng great cear furnaces of rong god.
The burst of ght reeased and the burst of
ar bowng seemed to come amost smuta-
neousy and the wnd especay caught every-
thng n a throttng voence. The brght
short grass ay a one way ke brushed har.
very shrub n the garden tugged at ts roots
4
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2
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1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
4
9

G
M
T


/


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/


h
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:
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#
p
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o
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MANALI
ke a dog at the coar, and straned every
eapng eaf after the huntng and e termna-
tng eement. Now and agan a twg woud
snap and fy ke a bot from an arbaest.
The three men stood stffy and asant aganst
the wnd, as f eanng aganst a wa. The
two ades dsappeared nto the house.
Rather, to speak truy, they were bown nto
the house. Ther two frocks, bue and whte,
ooked ke two bg broken fowers, drvng
and drftng upon the gae. Nor s such a
poetc fancy napproprate, for there was
somethng oddy romantc about ths nrush
of ar and ght after a ong, eaden, and un-
ftng day. Grass and garden trees seemed
gtterng wth somethng at once good and
unnatura ke a fre from faryand. It
seemed ke a strange sunrse at the wrong end
of the day.
The gr n whte dved n qucky enough,
for she wore a whte hat of the proportons
of a parachute, whch mght have wafted her
away nto the cooured couds of evenng.
She was ther one spash of spendour and r-
radated weath n that mpecunous pace
(stayng there temporary wth a frend), an

G
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2
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/


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w
w
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t
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s
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#
p
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e
MANALI
heress n a sma way, by name Rosamund
unt, brown eyed, round faced, but resoute
and rather bosterous. On top of her weath
she was good-humoured and rather good-
ookng but she had not marred, perhaps be-
cause there was aways a crowd of men round
her. She was not fast (though some mght
have caed her vugar), but she gave rreso-
ute youths an mpresson of beng at once
popuar and naccessbe. A man fet as f
he had faen n ove wth Ceopatra, or as
f he were askng for a great actress at the
stage door. Indeed, some theatrca spanges
seemed to cng about Mss unt she payed
the gutar and the mandone she aways
wanted charades and wth that great rendng
of the sky by sun and storm, she fet a grsh
meodrama swe agan wthn her. To the
crashng orchestraton of the ar, the couds
rose ke the curtan of some ong e pected
pantomme.
Nor, oddy enough, was the gr n bue en-
trey unmpressed by ths apocaypse n a pr-
vate garden though she was one of the most
prosac and practca creatures ave, she was
ndeed no other than the strenuous nece whose
6
G
e
n
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r
a
t
e
d

f
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(
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)

o
n

2
0
1
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-
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6
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1
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:
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G
M
T


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9
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/


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w
.
h
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s
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#
p
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e
MANALI
strength aone uphed that manson of decay.
ut as the gae swung and sweed the bue
and whte skrts t they took on the monstrous
mushroom contours of ctoran crnones, a
sunken memory strred n her that was amost
romance a memory of a dusty voume of
Punch n an aunt s house n nfancy pc-
tures of crnone hoops and croquet hoops
and some pretty story, of whch perhaps they
were a part. Ths haf-perceptbe fragrance
n her thoughts faded amost nstanty, and
Dana Duke entered the house even more
prompty than her companon. Ta, sm,
aqune, and dark, she seemed made for such
swftness. In body she was of the breed of
those brds and beasts that are at once ong
and aert, ke greyhounds or herons or even
ke an nnocent snake. The whoe house re-
voved on her as on a rod of stee. It woud
be wrong to say that she commanded for her
own effcency was so mpatent that she obeyed
hersef before any one ese obeyed her. e-
fore eectrcans coud mend a be or ock-
smths open a door, before dentsts coud
puck a oose tooth, or buters draw a tght
cork, t was done aready wth the sent vo-
7
G
e
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f
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m
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)

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2
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M
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/


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w
w
.
h
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s
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#
p
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e
MANALI
ence of her sm hands. She was ght but
there was nothng eapng about her ghtness.
She spurned the ground and she meant to
spurn t. Peope tak of the pathos and fa-
ure of pan women but t s a more terrbe
thng that a beautfu woman may succeed n
everythng but womanhood.
It s enough to bow your head off, sad
the young woman n whte, gong to the ook-
ng-gass.
The young woman n bue made no repy,
but put away her gardenng goves, and then
went to the sdeboard and began to spread out
an afternoon coth for tea.
nough to bow your head off I say, sad
Mss Rosamund unt, wth the unruffed
cheerness of one whose songs and speeches
had aways been safe for an encore.
Ony your hat, I thnk, sad Dana Duke
but I dare say that s sometmes more m-
portant.
Rosamund s face showed for an nstant the
offence of a spot chd, and then the humour
of a very heathy person. She broke nto a
augh and sad, e, t woud have to be a
bg wnd to bow your head off.
G
e
n
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r
a
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f
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)

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2
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G
M
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/


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:
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w
w
.
h
a
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t
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s
s
_
u
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#
p
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u
s
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g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
There was another sence and the sunset
breakng more and more from the sunderng
couds, fed the room wth soft fre and
panted the du was wth ruby and god.
Somebody once tod me, sad Rosamund
unt, that t s easer to keep one s head when
one has ost one s heart.
Oh, don t tak about such rubbsh, sad
Dana wth savage sharpness.
Outsde, the garden was cad n a goden
spendour but the wnd was st stffy bow-
ng, and the three men who stood ther ground
mght aso have consdered the probem of
hats and heads. And, ndeed, ther poston,
touchng hats, was somewhat typca of them.
The taest of the three abode the bast n a
hgh sk hat, whch the wnd seemed to
charge as vany as that other suen tower, the
house behnd hm. The second man tred to
hod on a stff straw hat at a anges, and u-
tmatey hed t n hs hand. The thrd had
no hat, and, by hs atttude, seemed never to
have had one n hs fe. Perhaps ths wnd
was a knd of fary wand to test men and
women, for there was much of the three men
n ths dfference.
G
e
n
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r
a
t
e
d

f
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m
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)

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2
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,

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o
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-
d

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e
d


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.
h
a
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t
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/
a
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s
s
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u
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#
p
d
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g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
The man n the sod sk hat was the em-
bodment of skness and sodty. e was
a bg, band, bored, and (as some sad) borng
man, wth fat far har and handsome heavy
features a prosperous young doctor by the
name of arner. ut f hs bondness and
bandness seemed at frst a tte fatuous, t s
certan that he was no foo. If Rosamund
unt was the ony person there wth much
money, he was the ony person who had as
yet found any knd of fame. s treatse on
The Probabe stence of Pan n the Low-
est Organsms had been unversay haed by
the scentfc word as at once sod and dar-
ng. In short, he undoubtedy had brans
and perhaps t was not hs faut f they were
the knd of brans that most men desre to
anayze wth a poker.
The young man who put hs hat off and on
was a scentfc amateur n a sma way, and
worshpped the great arner wth a soemn
freshness. It was n fact at hs nvtaton that
the dstngushed doctor was present for
arner ved n no such ramshacke odgng-
house, but n a professona paace n arey
Street. Ths young man was reay the
10
G
e
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a
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f
o
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m
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m
b
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@
d
a
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m
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u

(
D
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m
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C
o

e
g
e
)

o
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2
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c

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a

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t
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U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


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w
.
h
a
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t
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o
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g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
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g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
youngest and best ookng of the three. ut
he was one of those persons, both mae and fe-
mae, who seem doomed to be good-ookng
and nsgnfcant. rown hared, hgh co-
oured, and shy, he seemed to ose the decacy
of hs features n a sort of bur of brown and
red as he stood bushng and bnkng aganst
the wnd. e was one of those obvous un-
notceabe peope: every one knew that he was
Arthur Ingewood, unmarred, mora, de-
cdedy ntegent, vng on a tte money of
hs own, and hdng hmsef n the two hob-
bes of photography and cycng. verybody
knew hm and forgot hm even as he stood
there n the gare of goden sunset there was
somethng about hm ndstnct, ke one of
hs own red-brown amateur photographs.
The thrd man had no hat he was ean, n
ght, vaguey sportng cothes, and the arge
ppe n hs mouth made hm ook a the
eaner. e had a ong ronca face, bue-
back har, the bue eyes of an Irshman, and
the bue chn of an actor. An Irshman he
was, an actor he was not, e cept n the od
days of Mss unt s charades, beng, as a mat-
ter of fact, an obscure and fppant ournast
n
G
e
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a
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d

f
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m
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a
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.
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)

o
n

2
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:
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M
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9
9
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c

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a

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U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
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e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


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w
.
h
a
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t
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/
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s
s
_
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s
e
#
p
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s
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g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
named Mchae Moon. e had once been
hazy supposed to be readng for the ar
but (as arner woud say wth hs rather
eephantne wt) t was mosty at another knd
of bar that hs frends found hm. Moon,
however, dd not drnk, nor even frequenty
get drunk, he smpy was a genteman who
ked ow company. Ths was party because
company s queter than socety, and f he en-
oyed takng to a barmad (as apparenty he
dd), t was chefy because the barmad dd
the takng. Moreover he woud often brng
other taent to assst her. e shared that
strange trck of a men of hs type, nteec-
tua and wthout ambton, the trck of gong
about wth hs menta nferors. There was
a sma resdent |ew named Moses Goud n
the same boardng-house, a tte man whose
negro vtaty and vugarty amused Mchae
so much that he went round wth hm from
bar to bar, ke the owner of a performng
monkey.
The coossa cearance whch the wnd had
made of that coudy sky grew cearer and
cearer chamber wthn chamber seemed to
open n heaven. One fet one mght at ast
12
G
e
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a
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f
o
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m
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b
e
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@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
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t
m
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C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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:
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M
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9
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b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


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:
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
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t
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o
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g
/
a
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s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
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u
s
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g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
fnd somethng ghter than ght. In the
funess of ths sent effugence a thngs co-
ected ther coours agan, the gray trunks
turned sver and the drab grave god. One
brd futtered ke a oosened eaf from one
tree to another, and hs brown feathers were
brushed wth fre.
Ingewood, sad Mchae Moon, wth hs
bue eye on the brd, have you any frends
Doctor arner mstook the person ad-
dressed, and turnng a broad beamng face,
sad,
Oh, yes, I go out a great dea.
Mchae Moon gave a tragc grn, and
wated for hs rea nformant, who spoke a
moment after n a voce curousy coo, fresh
and young, as comng out of that brown and
even dusty e teror.
Reay, answered Ingewood, I m afrad
I ve ost touch wth my od frends. The
greatest frend I ever had was at schoo, a
feow named Smth. It s odd you shoud
menton t, because I was thnkng of hm
to-day, though I haven t seen hm for seven
or eght years. e was on the scence sde
wth me at schoo, a cever feow though
G
e
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a
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f
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e
m
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@
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a
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e
d
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(
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)

o
n

2
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:
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G
M
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c

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a

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U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


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:
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w
.
h
a
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t
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/
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s
s
_
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#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
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e
G
e
n
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r
a
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e
d

f
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)

o
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2
0
1
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6
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1
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:
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9

G
M
T


/


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e
t
/
2
0
2
7
/
u
c
1
.
b
2
9
9
8
1
3
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
out of ther senses but I suppose they ought
to be kckng.
And peope n ther senses asked
arner, smng.
Oh, they ought to be kcked, sad Mchae
wth sudden heartness.
The message s ceary nsane, contnued
the mpenetrabe arner. The best test s
a reference to the undeveoped norma type.
ven a baby does not e pect to fnd a man
wth three egs.
Three egs, sad Mchae Moon, woud
be very convenent n ths wnd.
A fresh erupton of the atmosphere had
ndeed amost thrown them off ther baance
and broken the backened trees n the garden.
eyond, a sorts of accdenta ob ects coud
be seen scourng the wnd-scoured sky, straws,
stcks, rags, papers, and, n the dstance, a ds-
appearng hat. Its dsappearance, however,
was not fna after an nterva of mnutes
they saw t agan, much arger and coser,
a whte panama, towerng up nto the heavens
ke a baoon, staggerng to and fro for an
nstant ke a strcken kte, and then settng
IS
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
4
9

G
M
T


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
h
d

.
h
a
n
d

e
.
n
e
t
/
2
0
2
7
/
u
c
1
.
b
2
9
9
8
1
3
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
n the centre of ther own awn as faterngy
as a faen eaf.
Somebody s ost a good hat, sad Doctor
arner shorty.
Amost as he spoke, another ob ect came
over the garden wa, fyng after the futterng
panama. It was a bg green umbrea. After
that came hurtng a huge yeow Gadstone
bag, and after that came a fgure ke a fyng
whee of egs, as n the shed of the Ise of
Man.
ut though for a fash t seemed to have
fve or s egs, t aghted upon two, ke
the man n the queer teegram. It took the
form of a arge ght-hared man n gay green
hoday cothes. e had brght bonde har
that the wnd brushed back ke a German s,
a fushed eager face ke a cherub s and a
promnent pontng nose, a tte ke a dog s.
s head, however, was by no means cherubc
n the sense of beng wthout a body. On the
contrary, on hs vast shouders and shape,
generay ggantesque, hs head ooked oddy
and unnaturay sma. Ths gave rse to a
scentfc theory (whch hs conduct fuy sup-
ported) that he was an dot.
16
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
4
9

G
M
T


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
h
d

.
h
a
n
d

e
.
n
e
t
/
2
0
2
7
/
u
c
1
.
b
2
9
9
8
1
3
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
Ingewood had a poteness nstnctve and
yet awkward. s fe was fu of arrested
haf gestures of assstance. And even ths
prodgy of a bg man n green, eapng the
wa ke a brght green grasshopper, dd not
parayze that sma atrusm of hs habts n
such a matter as a ost hat. e was steppng
forward to recover the green genteman s
headgear, when he was struck rgd wth a
roar ke a bu s.
Unsportsmanke beowed the bg man.
Gve t far pay, gve t far pay And
he came after hs own hat qucky, but cau-
tousy, wth burnng eyes. The hat had
seemed at frst to droop and dawde as n
ostentatous anguor on the sunny awn but
the wnd agan freshenng and rsng t went
dancng down the garden wth the devry
of a pas-de-quatre. The eccentrc went
boundng after t wth kangaroo eaps and
bursts of breathess speech, of whch t was
not aways easy to pck up the thread: ar
pay, far pay . . . sport of kngs . . .
chase ther crowns . . . qute humane
. . . tramontana . . . cardna chase
red hats . . . od ngsh huntng . . .
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
4
9

G
M
T


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
h
d

.
h
a
n
d

e
.
n
e
t
/
2
0
2
7
/
u
c
1
.
b
2
9
9
8
1
3
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
started a hat n ramber Combe . . . hat
at bay . . . manged hounds. . . . Got
hm
As the wnd rose out of a roar nto a shrek,
he eapt nto the sky on hs strong, fantastc
egs, snatched at the vanshng hat, mssed t,
and ptched sprawng face foremost on the
grass. The hat rose over hm ke a brd n
trumph but ts trumph was premature.
or the unatc, fung forward on hs hands,
threw up hs boots behnd, waved hs two egs
n the ar ke symboc ensgns (so that they
thought agan of the teegram), and actuay
caught the hat wth hs feet. A proonged
and percng ye of wnd spt the wekn
from end to end. The eyes of a the men
were bnded by the nvsbe bast, as by a
strange, cear cataract of transparency rush-
ng between them and a ob ects about them.
ut as the arge man fe back n a sttng
posture, and soemny crowned hmsef wth
the hat, Mchae found, to hs ncreduous
surprse, that he had been hodng hs breath
ke a man watchng a due.
he that ta wnd was at the top of ts
sky-scrapng energy, another short cry was
18
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
4
9

G
M
T


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
h
d

.
h
a
n
d

e
.
n
e
t
/
2
0
2
7
/
u
c
1
.
b
2
9
9
8
1
3
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
heard, begnnng very queruous, but endng
very quck, swaowed n abrupt sence.
The shny back cynder of Dr. arner s
offca hat saed off hs head n the ong,
smooth paraboa of an arshp, and n amost
crestng a garden tree was caught n the top-
most branches. Another hat was gone.
Those n that garden fet themseves caught
n an unaccustomed eddy of thngs happen-
ng no one seemed to know what woud bow
away ne t. efore they coud specuate, the
cheerng and haoong hat-hunter was a-
ready haf way up the tree, swngng hmsef
from fork to fork wth hs strong, bent, grass-
hopper egs, and st gvng forth hs gaspng,
mysterous comments.
Tree of fe . . . Tydras . . .
cmb for centures perhaps . . . ows
nestng n the hat . . . remotest genera
tons of ows . . . st usurpers . . .
gone to heaven . . . man n the moon
wears t ... brgand . . . not yours
. . . beongs to depressed medca man
. . . n garden . . . gve t up . . .
gve t up
The tree swung and swept and thrashed
19
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
4
9

G
M
T


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
h
d

.
h
a
n
d

e
.
n
e
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/
2
0
2
7
/
u
c
1
.
b
2
9
9
8
1
3
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
to and fro n the thunderng wnd ke a
thste, and famed n the fu sunshne ke a
bonfre. The green, fantastc human fgure,
vvd aganst ts autumn red and god, was
aready among ts hghest and crazest
branches, whch by bare uck dd not break
wth the weght of hs bg body. e was
up there among the ast tossng eaves and
the frst twnkng stars of evenng, st tak-
ng to hmsef cheerfuy, reasonngy, haf
apoogetcay, n tte gasps. e mght we
be out of breath, for hs whoe preposter-
ous rad had gone wth one rush he had
bounded once the wa ke a footba, swept
down the garden ke a sde, and shot up the
tree ke a rocket. The other three men
seemed bured under ncdent ped on nc-
dent, a wd word where one thng began
before another thng eft off. A three had
the frst thought. The tree had been there
for the fve years they had known the board-
ng-house. ach one of them was actve and
strong. No one of them had even thought
of cmbng t. eyond that, Ingewood fet
frst the mere fact of coour. The brght
brsk eaves, the beak bue sky, the wd green
20
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
4
9

G
M
T


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
h
d

.
h
a
n
d

e
.
n
e
t
/
2
0
2
7
/
u
c
1
.
b
2
9
9
8
1
3
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
arms and egs, remnded hm rratonay of
somethng gowng n hs nfancy somethng
akn to a gaudy man on a goden tree per-
haps t was ony a panted monkey on a stck.
Oddy enough, Mchae Moon, though more
of a humorst, was touched on a tenderer
nerve, haf remembered the od, young the-
atrcas wth Rosamund, and was amused to
fnd hmsef amost quotng Shakespeare
or vaour s not ove, a ercues
St cmbng trees n the esperdes.
ven the mmovabe man of scence had
a brght, bewdered sensaton that the Tme
Machne had gven a great erk, and gone
forward wth rather rattng rapdty.
e was not, however, whoy prepared for
what happened ne t. The man n green,
rdng the fra topmost bough ke a wtch
on a very rsky broomstck, reached up and
rent the back hat from ts ary nest of twgs.
It had been broken across a heavy bough n
the frst burst of ts passage, a tange of
branches had torn and scored and scratched
t n every drecton, a cap of wnd and
foage had fattened t ke a concertna nor
21
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
4
9

G
M
T


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
h
d

.
h
a
n
d

e
.
n
e
t
/
2
0
2
7
/
u
c
1
.
b
2
9
9
8
1
3
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MAN ALI
can t be sad that the obgng genteman
wth the sharp nose showed any adequate
tenderness for ts structure when he fnay
unhooked t from ts pace. hen he had
found t, however, hs proceedngs were by
some counted snguar. e waved t wth a
oud whoop of trumph, and then mmed-
atey appeared to fa backwards off the tree,
to whch, however, he remaned attached by
hs ong strong egs, ke a monkey swung by
hs ta. angng thus head downwards
above the unhemed arner, he gravey pro-
ceeded to drop the battered sk cynder upon
hs brows. very man a kng, e paned
the nverted phosopher every hat (conse-
quenty) a crown. ut ths s a crown out of
heaven.
And he agan attempted the coronaton of
arner, who, however, moved away wth
great abruptness from the hoverng dadem
not seemng, strangey enough, to wsh for
hs former decoraton n ts present state.
rong, wrong cred the obgng per-
son harousy. Aways wear unform, even
f t s shabby unform Rtuasts may a-
ways be untdy. Go to a dance wth soot on
22
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
4
9

G
M
T


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
h
d

.
h
a
n
d

e
.
n
e
t
/
2
0
2
7
/
u
c
1
.
b
2
9
9
8
1
3
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
your shrt-front but go wth a shrt-front.
untsman wears od coat but od pnk coat.
ear a topper, even f t s got no top. It s
the symbo that counts, od cock. Take your
hat, because t s your hat after a ts nap
rubbed a off by the bark, dears, and ts brm
not the east bt cured but for od sakes
sake t s st, dears, the nobbest te n the
word.
Speakng thus, wth a wd comfortabeness,
he setted or smashed the shapeess sk hat
over the face of the dsturbed physcan, and
fe on hs feet among the other men, st tak-
ng, beamng and breathess.
hy don t they make more games out of
the wnd he asked n some e ctement.
Ktes are a rght, but why shoud t ony
be ktes hy, I thought of three other
games for a wndy day whe I was cmbng
that tree. ere s one of them: you take a
ot of pepper
I thnk, nterposed Moon, wth a sardonc
mdness, that your games are aready suff-
centy nterestng. Are you, may I ask, a
professona acrobat on a tour, or a traveng
advertsement of Sunny |m ow and why
23
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
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2
9
9
8
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3
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


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:
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/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
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u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
do you dspay a ths energy for cearng
was and cmbng trees n our meanchoy,
but at east ratona, suburbs
The stranger, so far as so oud a person was
capabe of t, appeared to grow confdenta.
e, t s a trck of my own, he con-
fessed canddy. I do t by havng two
egs.
Arthur Ingewood who had sunk nto the
background of ths scene of foy, started and
stared at the newcomer wth hs short-
sghted eyes screwed up and hs hgh coour
fercey heghtened.
hy, I beeve you re Smth, he cred
wth hs fresh, amost boysh voce and then
after an nstant s stare, and yet I m not sure.
I have a card, I thnk, sad the unknown,
wth baffng soemnty a card wth my rea
name, my ttes, offces, and true purpose on
ths earth.
e drew out sowy from an upper wast-
coat pocket a scaret card-case, and as sowy
produced a very arge card. ven n the n-
stant of ts producton, they fanced t was of
a queer shape, unke the cards of ordnary
gentemen. ut t was there ony for an n-
24
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f
o
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m
e
m
b
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r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
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b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


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/
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w
w
.
h
a
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h

t
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u
s
t
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o
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g
/
a
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c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
stant for as t passed from hs fngers to
Arthur s, one or other spped hs hod. The
strdent, tearng gae n that garden carred
away the stranger s card to on the wd
waste-paper of the unverse and that great,
western wnd shook the whoe house and
passed.
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
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2
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b
2
9
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3
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
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:
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/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
C APT R II
T LUGGAG O AN OPTIMIST
a remember the fary taes of scence
n our nfancy, whch payed wth the
supposton that arge anmas coud ump n
the proporton of sma ones. If an eephant
were as strong as a grasshopper, he coud (I
suppose) sprng cean out of the ooogca
Gardens and aght trumpetng upon Prm-
rose . If a whae coud eap from the
water ke a trout, perhaps men mght ook
up and see one soarng above Yarmouth ke
the wnged sand of Laputa. Such natura
energy, though subme, mght certany be
nconvenent, and much of ths nconvenence
attended the gaety and good ntentons of the
man n green. e was too arge for every-
thng, because he was vey as we as arge.
y a fortunate physca provson most very
substanta creatures are aso reposefu and
mdde cass boardng-houses n the esser
26
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m
o
u
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h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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9
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b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
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:
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/
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w
.
h
a
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t
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t
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o
r
g
/
a
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e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
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s
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g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
parts of London are not but for a man as bg
a a bu, and as e ctabe as a ktten.
hen Ingewood foowed the stranger nto
the boardng-house, he found hm takng
earnesty and (n hs own opnon) prvatey
to the hepess Mrs. Duke. That fat, fant
ady coud ony gogge up ke a dyng fsh at
the enormous new genteman, who potey
offered hmsef as odger, wth vast gestures
of the wde whte hat n one hand, and the
yeow Gadstone bag n the other. ortu-
natey, Mrs. Duke s more effcent nece and
partner was there to compete the contract
for, ndeed, a the peope of the house had
somehow coected n the room. Ths fact
n truth was typca of the whoe epsode.
The vstor created an atmosphere of comc
crss and from the tme he came nto the
house to the tme he eft t, he somehow got
the company to gather and even foow
(though n derson), as chdren gather and
foow a Punch and |udy. An hour ago, and
for four years prevousy, these peope had
avoded each other, even when they reay
ked each other. They had sd n and out
of dsma and deserted rooms n search of par-
27
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f
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m
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@
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a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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M
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2
9
9
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u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
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p
:
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/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
tcuar newspapers or prvate needework.
ven now they a came casuay, as wth vary-
ng nterests but they a came. There was
the embarrassed Ingewood, st a sort of red
shadow there aso the unembarrassed ar-
ner, a pad, but sod substance. There was
Mchae Moon offerng ke a rdde the con-
trast of the horsy crudeness of hs cothes, and
the sombre sagacty of hs vsage. e was
now oned by hs yet more comc crony,
Moses Goud. Swaggerng on short egs wth
a prosperous purpe te, he was the gayest of
godess tte dogs but ke a dog aso n ths,
that however he danced and wagged wth de-
ght, the two dark eyes on each sde of hs
protuberant nose gstened goomy ke back
buttons. There was Mss Rosamund unt,
st wth the fne whte hat framng her
square, good-humoured face and st wth
her natve ar of beng dressed for some party
that never came off. She aso, ke Mr.
Moon, had a new companon, new so far as
ths narratve goes, but n reaty an od frend
and protegee. Ths was a sght, young
woman n back, and n no way notabe but
for a oad of du red har, of whch the shape
28
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f
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m
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@
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a
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t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
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d

S
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a
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s
,

G
o
o
g

e
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z
e
d


/


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w
.
h
a
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t
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o
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g
/
a
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s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
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u
s
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g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
somehow gave her pae face that tranguar,
amost peaked appearance whch was gven
by the owerng headdress and deep rch ruff
of the zabethan beautes. er surname
seemed to be Gray, and Mss unt caed her
Mary, n that ndescrbabe tone apped to an
od dependent who has practcay become a
frend. She wore a sma sver cross on her
very busnesske back cothes, and was the
ony member of the party who went to church.
Last, but the reverse of east, there was Dana
Duke, studyng the newcomer wth eyes of
stee, and stenng carefuy to every dotc
word he sad. As for Mrs. Duke, she smed
up at hm but never dreamed of stenng to
hm. She had never reay stened to any one
n her fe whch some sad was why she had
survved.
Nevertheess, Mrs. Duke was peased wth
her new guest s concentraton of courtesy upon
hersef for no one ever spoke serousy to
her any more than she stened serousy to
any one. And she amost beamed as the
stranger, wth yet wder and amost whrng
gestures of e panaton wth hs huge hat and
bag, apoogzed for havng entered by the wa
29
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f
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m
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@
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a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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c

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o
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a

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t
h
e

U
n

t
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d

S
t
a
t
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s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


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w
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h
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o
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g
/
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s
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u
s
e
#
p
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o
o
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e
MANALI
nstead of the front door. e was under-
stood to put t down to an unfortunate famy
tradton of neatness and care of hs cothes.
My mother was rather strct about t, to
te the truth, he sad, owerng hs voce, to
Mrs. Duke. She never ked me to ose my
cap at schoo. And when a man s been taught
to be tdy and neat t stcks to hm.
Mrs. Duke weaky gasped that she was sure
he must have had a good mother but her nece
seemed ncned to probe the matter further.
You ve got a funny dea of tdness, she
sad, f t s umpng garden was and cam-
berng up garden trees. A man can t very
we cmb a tree tdy.
e can cear a wa neaty, sad Mchae
Moon I saw hm do t.
Smth seemed to be regardng the gr wth
genune astonshment. My dear young
ady, he sad, I was tdyng the tree. You
don t want ast year s hats there, do you, any
more than ast year s eaves. The wnd takes
off the eaves, but t coudn t manage the hat
that wnd, I suppose, has tded whoe forests
to-day. Rum dea ths s, that tdness s a
tmd, quet sort of thng why, tdness s a
30
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a
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m
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h
.
e
d
u

(
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a
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t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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c

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o
m
a

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t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


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:
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w
.
h
a
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t
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t
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o
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g
/
a
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s
s
_
u
s
e
#
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g

e
MANALI
to for gants. You can t tdy anythng wth-
out untdyng yoursef ust ook at my trou-
sers. Don t you know that aven t you
ever had a sprng ceanng
Oh, yes, sr, sad Mrs. Duke, amost
eagery. You w fnd everythng of that
sort qute nce. or the frst tme she had
heard two words that she coud understand.
Mss Dana Duke seemed to be studyng
the stranger n a sort of spasm of cacuaton
then her back eyes snapped wth decson,
and she sad that he coud have a partcuar
bedroom on the top foor f he ked, and the
sent and senstve Ingewood, who had been
on the rack through these cross purposes,
eagery offered to show hm up to the room.
Smth went up the stars four at a tme, and
when he bumped hs head aganst the utmate
ceng, Ingewood had an odd sensaton that
the ta house was much shorter than t used
to be.
Arthur Ingewood foowed hs od frend
or hs new frend for he dd not very
ceary know whch he was. The face ooked
very ke hs od schoofeow s at one second
and very unke at another.
G
e
n
e
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a
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d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
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@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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1
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9
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P
u
b

c

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o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


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:
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/
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w
.
h
a
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o
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g
/
a
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s
_
u
s
e
#
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s
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g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
And when Ingewood broke through hs
natve poteness so far as to say suddeny, Is
your name Smth he receved ony the un-
enghtenng repy, ute rght. ute
rght. ery good. ceent hch ap-
peared to Ingewood, on refecton, rather the
speech of a new-born babe acceptng a name,
than of a grown-up man admttng one.
Despte ths doube about dentty, the hap-
ess Ingewood watched the other unpack, and
stood about hs bedroom n a the mportant
atttudes of the mae frend. Mr. Smth un-
packed wth the same knd of whrng ac-
curacy wth whch he cmbed a tree
throwng thngs out of hs bag as f they were
rubbsh, yet managng to dstrbute qute a
reguar pattern a round hm on the foor.
As he dd so he contnued to tak n the
same somewhat gaspng manner (he had
come upstars four steps at a tme, but even
wthout ths hs stye of speech was breath-
ess and fragmentary) and hs remarks were
st a strng of more or ess sgnfcant but
often separate pctures.
Lke the day of udgment, he sad, throw-
ng a botte so that t somehow setted, rock-
32
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@
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a
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m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
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c

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a

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U
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S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


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p
:
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/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
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g
/
a
c
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e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
ng on ts rght end. Peope say vast
unverse . . nfnty and astronomy not
sure ... I thnk thngs are too cose to-
gether . . . packed up for traveng
. . . stars too cose reay . . . why,
the sun s a star, too cose to be seen propery
the earth s a star, too cose to be seen at a
. . . too many pebbes on the beach ought
a to be put n rngs too many bades of grass
to study . . . feathers on a brd make the
bran ree wat t the bg bag s unpacked
. . . may a be put n our rght paces
then.
ere he stopped, teray for breath
throwng a shrt to the other end of the room,
and then a botte of nk so that t fe qute
neaty beyond t. Ingewood ooked round
on ths strange, haf-symmetrca dsorder
wth an ncreasng doubt.
In fact, the more one e pored Mr. Smth s
hoday uggage, the ess one coud make any-
thng of t. One pecuarty of t was that a-
most everythng seemed to be there for the
wrong reason what s secondary wth every
one ese was prmary wth hm. e woud
wrap up a pot or pan n brown paper and the
3 33
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f
o
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m
e
m
b
e
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@
d
a
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t
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.
e
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(
D
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C
o

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g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
4
9

G
M
T


/


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:
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/
h
d

.
h
a
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d

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.
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2
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7
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9
9
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1
3
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U
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t
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d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
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-
d

z
e
d


/


h
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p
:
/
/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
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g
/
a
c
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e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
unthnkng assstant woud dscover that the
pot was vaueess or even unnecessary, and
that t was the brown paper that was truy
precous. e produced two or three bo es
of cgars, and e paned wth pan perpe ng
sncerty that he was no smoker, but that
cgar-bo wood was by far the best for fret-
work. e aso e hbted about s sma bot-
tes of wne, whte and red and Ingewood,
happenng to note a onay whch he knew
to be e ceent, supposed at frst that the
stranger was an epcure n vntages. e was
therefore surprsed to fnd that the ne t botte
was a ve sham caret from the coones,
whch even coonas (to do them ustce) do
not drnk. It was ony then that he observed
that a s bottes had those brght metac
seas of varous tnts, and seemed to have been
chosen soey because they gave the three
prmary and three secondary coours: red,
bue, and yeow green, voet, and orange.
There grew upon Ingewood an amost creepy
sense of the rea chdshness of ths creature.
or Smth was reay, so far as human psycho-
ogy can be, nnocent. e had the sensua-
tes of nnocence he oved the stckness of
34
G
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f
o
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m
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b
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r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
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t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
4
9

G
M
T


/


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:
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/
h
d

.
h
a
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d

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2
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u
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1
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2
9
9
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1
3
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c

D
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U
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d

S
t
a
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e
s
,

G
o
o
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-
d

z
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d


/


h
t
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p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
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r
g
/
a
c
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e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
gum and he cut whte wood greedy as f he
were cuttng a cake. To ths man wne was
not a doubtfu thng to be defended or de-
nounced t was a quanty-cooured syrup,
such as a chd sees n a shop wndow. e
taked domnanty and rushed the soca stu-
aton but he was not assertng hmsef, ke
a superman n a modern pay. e was sm-
py forgettng hmsef, ke a tte boy at a
party. e had somehow made a gant strde
from babyhood to manhood, and mssed that
crss n youth when most of us grow od.
As he shunted hs bg bag, Arthur observed
the ntas I. S. prnted on one sde of t, and
remembered that Smth had been caed Inno-
cent Smth at schoo, though whether as a
forma Chrstan name or a mora descrpton
he coud not remember. e was ust about
to venture another queston, when there was
a knock at the door, and the short fgure of
Mr. Goud offered tsef, wth the meanchoy
Moon, standng ke hs ta crooked shadow,
behnd hm. They had drfted up the stars
after the other two men wth the wanderng
gregarousness of the mae.
ope there s no ntruson, sad the bearn-
3
G
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f
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m
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)

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2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
4
9

G
M
T


/


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:
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/
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d

.
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a
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.
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2
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u
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1
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9
9
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1
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d

S
t
a
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e
s
,

G
o
o
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-
d

z
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d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
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/
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c
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s
s
_
u
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e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
ng Moses wth a gow of good nature, but
not the arest tnge of apoogy.
The truth s, sad Mchae Moon wth
comparatve courtesy, we thought we mght
see f they had made you comfortabe. Mss
Duke s rather
I know, cred the stranger, ookng up
radanty from hs bag magnfcent sn t
she Go cose to her hear mtary musc
gong by, ke |oan of Arc.
Ingewood started and stared at the speaker
ke one who has ust heard a wd fary tae,
whch nevertheess contans one sma and
forgotten fact. or he remembered how he
had hmsef thought of |eanne d Arc years
ago, when, hardy more than a schooboy, he
had frst come to the boardng-house. Long
snce the puverzng ratonasm of hs frend
Dr. arner had crushed such youthfu gno-
rances and dsproportonate dreams. Under
the arneran sceptcsm and scence of hope-
ess human types, Ingewood had ong come
to regard hmsef as a tmd, nsuffcent, and
weak type, who woud never marry to re-
gard Dana Duke as a materastc madserv-
ant and to regard hs frst fancy for her as the
36
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f
o
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m
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b
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@
d
a
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t
m
o
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h
.
e
d
u

(
D
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t
m
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C
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g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
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6
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1
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:
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G
M
T


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/
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a
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d

S
t
a
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e
s
,

G
o
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-
d

z
e
d


/


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t
t
p
:
/
/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
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g
/
a
c
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s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
sma, du farce of a coegan kssng hs
andady s daughter. And yet the phrase
about mtary musc moved hm queery as
f he had heard those dstant drums.
She has to keep thngs pretty tght, as s
ony natura, sad Moon, gancng round the
rather dwarfsh room, wth ts wedge of
santed ceng, ke the conca hood of a
dwarf.
Rather a sma bo for you, sr, sad the
waggsh Mr. Goud.
Spendd room, though, answered Mr.
Smth enthusastcay, wth hs head besde
hs Gadstone bag. I ove these ponted sorts
of rooms, ke Gothc. y the way, he cred
out, pontng n qute a startng way.
here does that door ead to
To certan death, I shoud say, answered
Mchae Moon, starng up at a dust-staned
and dsused trap-door n the sopng roof of
the attc. I don t thnk there s a oft there
and I don t know what ese t coud ead to.
Long before he had fnshed hs sentence, the
man wth the strong green egs had eapt at
the door n the ceng, swung hmsef some-
how on to the edge beneath t, wrenched t
37
G
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f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
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t
m
o
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t
h

C
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e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
4
9

G
M
T


/


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:
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/
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h
a
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d

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/
u
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1
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2
9
9
8
1
3
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c

D
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a

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t
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U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
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e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
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r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
open after a strugge, and cambered through
t. or a moment they saw the two symboc
egs standng ke a truncated statue, then they
vanshed. Through the hoe thus burst n the
roof appeared the empty and ucd sky of
evenng, wth one great many-cooured coud
sang across t ke a whoe county upsde
down.
uo, you feows came the far cry of
Innocent Smth, apparenty from some remote
pnnace. Come up here and brng some of
my thngs to eat and drnk. It s ust the spot
for a pcnc.
th a sudden mpuse Mchae snatched
two of the sma wne bottes, one n each sod
fst and Arthur Ingewood, as f mesmerzed,
groped for a bscut tn and a bg ar of gnger.
The enormous hand of Innocent Smth ap-
pearng through the aperture, ke a gant s
n a fary tae, receved these trbutes and bore
them off to the eyre, then they both hosted
themseves out of the wndow. They were
both athetc, and even gymnastc Ingewood
through hs concern for hygene, and Moon
through hs concern for sport, whch was not
qute so de and nactve as that of the average
38
G
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a
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f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
4
9

G
M
T


/


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:
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.
h
a
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e
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/
u
c
1
.
b
2
9
9
8
1
3
P
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b

c

D
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m
a

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e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
sportsman. Aso they both had a ght-headed,
ceesta sensaton when the door was burst n
the roof, as f a door had been burst n the sky,
and they coud cmb on to the very roof of
the unverse. They were both men who had
ong been conscousy mprsoned n the com-
monpace, though one took t comcay, and
the other serousy. They were both men,
nevertheess, n whom sentment had never
ded. ut Mr. Moses Goud had an equa
contempt for ther sucda athetcs and ther
subconscous transcendentasm, and he stood
and aughed at the thng wth the shameess
ratonaty of another race.
hen the snguar Smth, astrde of a chm-
ney-pot, earnt that Goud was not foowng,
hs nfante offcousness and good-nature
forced hm to dve back nto the attc to com-
fort or persuade and Ingewood and Moon
were eft aone on the ong gray-green rdge
of the sate roof, wth ther feet aganst gutters
and ther backs aganst chmney-pots, ookng
agnostcay at each other. Ther frst feeng
was that they had come out nto eternty and
that eternty was very ke topsy-turvydom.
One defnton occurred to one of them that
39
G
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f
o
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m
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b
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@
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a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
4
9

G
M
T


/


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:
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e
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/
u
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1
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b
2
9
9
8
1
3
P
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b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


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p
:
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/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
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r
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/
a
c
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e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
he had come out nto the ght of that ucd
and radant gnorance n whch a beefs had
begun. The sky above them was fu of
mythoogy. eaven seemed deep enough to
hod a the gods. The round of the ether
turned from green to yeow graduay ke a
great unrpe frut. A around the sunken
sun t was ke a emon round a the east t
was a sort of goden green, more suggestve
of a greengage but the whoe had st the
emptness of dayght and none of the secrecy
of dusk. Tumbed here and there across ths
god and pae green were shards and shattered
masses of nky purpe coud, whch seemed
fang towards the earth n every knd of
coossa perspectve. One of them reay had
the character of some many-mtred, many-
bearded, many-wnged Assyran mage, huge
head downwards, hured out of heaven a sort
of fase |ehovah, who was perhaps Satan.
A the other couds had preposterous pn-
naced shapes as f the god s paaces had been
fung after hm.
And yet, whe the empty heaven was fu
of sent catastrophe, the heght of human
budngs above whch they sat hed here and
40
G
e
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a
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e
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f
o
r

m
e
m
b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:
4
9

G
M
T


/


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a
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e
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/
u
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1
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2
9
9
8
1
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P
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b

c

D
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a

n

t
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e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
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:
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/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
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t
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r
g
/
a
c
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e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
there a tny and trva nose that was the e act
antthess and they heard some s streets be-
ow a newsboy cang, and a be bddng to
chape. They coud aso hear tak out of the
garden beow and reazed that the rrepress-
be Smth must have foowed Goud down-
stars, for hs eager and peadng accents coud
be heard, foowed by the haf-humorous pro-
tests of Mss Duke, and the fu and very
youthfu aughter of Rosamund unt. The
ar had that cod kndness that comes after a
storm. Mchae Moon drank t n wth as
serous a resh as he had drunk the tte botte
of cheap caret, whch he had empted amost
at a draught. Ingewood went on eatng
gnger very sowy and wth a soemnty un-
fathomabe as the sky above hm. There was
st enough str n the freshness of the atmos-
phere to make them amost fancy they coud
sme the garden so and the ast roses of the
autumn. Suddeny there came from the dark-
enng garden a svery png and pong whch
tod them that Rosamund had brought out the
ong-negected mandone. After the frst few
notes there was more of the dstant be-ke
aughter.
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
o
r

m
e
m
b
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@
d
a
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m
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t
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.
e
d
u

(
D
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t
m
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C
o

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g
e
)

o
n

2
0
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6
-
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1
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:
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G
M
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e
MANALI
Ingewood, sad Mchae Moon, have
you ever heard that I am a backguard
I haven t heard t, and I don t beeve
t, answered Ingewood, after an odd pause.
ut I have heard you were what they ca
rather wd.
If you have heard that I am wd, you can
contradct the rumour, sad Moon, wth an
e traordnary cam I am tame. I am qute
tame I am about the tamest beast that craws.
I drnk too much of the same knd of whskey
at the same tme every nght. I even drnk
about the same amount too much. I go to the
same number of pubc-houses. I meet the
same damned women wth mauve faces. I
(hear the same number of drty stores gener-
ay the same drty stores. You may reassure
my frends, Ingewood, you see before you
a person whom cvzaton has thoroughy
tamed.
Arthur Ingewood was starng wth feengs
that made hm neary fa off the roof for n-
deed the Irshman s face, aways snster, was
now amost demonaca.
Chrst confound t, cred out Moon, sud-
deny cutchng the empty caret botte, ths
42
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MANALI
s about the thnnest and fthest wne I ever
uncorked, and t s the ony drnk I have reay
en oyed for nne years. I was never wd
unt ust ten mnutes ago. And he sent the
botte whzzng, a whee of gass, far away
beyond the garden nto the road, where, n
the enormous evenng sence, they coud even
hear t break and part upon the stones.
Moon, sad Arthur Ingewood, rather
husky, you mustn t be so btter about t
everybody has to take the word as he fnds t
of course one often fnds t a bt du
That feow doesn t, sad Mchae de-
csvey I mean that feow Smth. I have
a fancy there s some method n hs madness.
It ooks as f he coud turn nto a sort of won-
derand any mnute by takng one step out of
the pan road. ho woud have thought of
that trap-door ho woud have thought that
ths cursed coona caret coud taste qute
nce among the chmney-pots Perhaps that
s the rea key of faryand. Perhaps Nosey
Goud s beasty tte mpre cgarettes ought
ony to be smoked on stts, or somewhere of
that sort. Perhaps Mrs. Duke s cod eg of
mutton woud seem qute appetzng at the top
43
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MANALI
of a tree. Perhaps even my damned, drty,
monotonous drzze of od hskey
Don t be rough on yoursef, sad Inge-
wood, n serous dstress. The duness sn t
your faut or the whskey s. eows who
don t feows ke me I mean have ust the
same feeng that t s a rather fat at a faure.
ut the word s made ke that t s a survva.
Some peope are made to get on, ke arner,
and some peope are made to stck quet, ke
me. You can t hep your temperament. I
know you re much ceverer than I am but
you can t hep havng a the oose ways of a
poor terary chap, and I can t hep havng a
the doubts and hepessness of a sma scentfc
chap, any more than a fsh can hep foatng,
or a fern hep curng up. umanty, as
arner sad so we n that ecture, reay con-
ssts of qute dfferent trbes of anmas a ds-
gused as men.
In the dm garden beow, the buzz of tak
was suddeny broken by Mss unt s musca
nstrument bangng wth the abruptness of ar-
tery nto a vugar but sprted tune.
Rosamund s voce came up rch and strong
44
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MANALI
n the words of some fatuous, fashonabe coon
song
Darkes sng a song on the od pantaton,
Sng t as we sang t n the days ong snce gone by.
Ingewood s brown eyes softened a rd sad-
dened st more as he contnued hs mono-
ogue of resgnaton to such a rockng and
romantc tune. ut the bue eyes of Mchae
Moon brghtened and hardened wth a ght
that Ingewood dd not understand. Many
centures, and many vages and vaeys, woud
have been happer f Ingewood or Inge-
wood s countrymen had ever understood that
ght, or guessed at the frst bnk that t was
the batte star of Ireand.
Nothng can ever ater t, t s n the
whees of the unverse, went on Ingewood,
n a ow voce some men are weak and some
strong, and the ony thng we can do s to
know that we are weak. I have been n ove
ots of tmes, but I coud not do anythng for
I remembered my own fckeness. I have
formed opnons, but I haven t the cheek to
push them, because I ve so often changed
4 .
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MANALI
them. That s the upshot, od feow. e
can t trust ourseves, and we can t hep t.
Mchae had rsen to hs feet, and stood
posed n the perous poston at the end of
the roof, ke some dark statue hung above ts
gabe. ehnd hm, huge couds of an amost
mpossbe purpe turned sowy topsy-turvy n
the sent anarchy of heaven. Ther gyraton
made the dark fgure seem yet dzzer.
Let us . . . he sad, and was suddeny
sent.
Let us what asked Arthur Ingewood,
rsng equay qucky though somewhat more
cautousy, for hs frend seemed to fnd some
dffcuty of speech.
Let us go and do some of these thngs we
can t do, sad Mchae.
At that same moment there burst out of the
trap-door beow them, the cockatoo har and
fushed face of Innocent Smth, cang to
them that they must come down as the con-
cert was n fu swng, and Mr. Moses Goud
about to recte Young Lochnvar.
As they dropped nto Innocent s attc they
neary tumbed over ts entertanng mped-
menta agan. Ingewood, starng at the t-
46
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MANALI
tered foor, thought nstnctvey of the ttered
foor of a nursery. e was, therefore, the
more moved, and even shocked, when hs eye
fe on a arge we-poshed Amercan re-
vover.
uo, he cred, steppng back from the
steey gtter, as men step back from a serpent
are you afrad of burgars, or when and why
do you dea death out of that machne gun
Oh, that I sad Smth, throwng t a snge
gance I dea fe out of that, and he went
boundng down the stars.
47
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e
C APT R III
T ANN R O ACON
A LL ne t day at eacon ouse there was
- - a crazy sense that t was everybody s
brthday. It s the fashon to tak of nsttu-
tons as cod and crampng thngs. The truth
s that when peope are n e ceptonay hgh
sprts, reay wd wth freedom and nven-
ton, they aways must, and they aways do,
create nsttutons. hen men are weary
they fa nto anarchy but whe they are gay
and vgorous they nvaraby make rues.
Ths, whch s true of a the churches and re-
pubcs of hstory, s aso true of the most
trva parour game or the most unsophst-
cated meadow romp. e are never free unt
some nsttuton frees us and berty cannot
e st t t s decared by authorty. ven the
wd authorty of the harequn Smth was
st authorty, because t produced everywhere
a crop of crazy reguatons and condtons.
48
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MAN ALI
e fed every one wth hs own haf-unatc
fe but t was not e pressed n destructon,
but rather n a dzzy and toppng construc-
ton. ach person wth a hobby found t
turnng nto an nsttuton. Rosamund s songs
seemed to coaesce nto a knd of opera M-
chae s ests and paragraphs nto a magazne.
s ppe and her mandone seemed be-
tween them to make a sort of smokng concert.
The bashfu and bewdered Arthur Inge-
wood amost strugged aganst hs own grow-
ng mportance. e fet as f, n spte of hm,
hs photographs were turnng nto a pcture
gaery, and hs bcyce nto a gymkana.
ut no one had any tme to crtcze these
mpromptu estates and offces, for they fo-
owed each other n wd successon ke the
topcs of a rambng taker.
stence wth such a man was an obstace
race made of peasant obstaces. Out of any
homey and trva ob ect he coud drag rees
of e aggeraton, ke a con uror. Nothng
coud be more shy and mpersona than poor
Arthur s photography. Yet the preposterous ,
Smth was seen assstng hm eagery through
sunny mornng hours, and an ndefensbe
49
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U
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MANALI
sequence descrbed as Mora Photography
began to unro tsef about the boardng-
house. It was ony a verson of the od
photographer s oke whch produces the same
fgure twce on one pate, makng a man
pay chess wth hmsef, dne wth hmsef,
and so on. ut these pates were more myst-
ca and ambtous as Mss unt forgets er-
sef, showng that ady answerng her own
too rapturous recognton wth a most appa-
ng stare of gnorance or Mr. Moon
questons msef, n whch Mr. Moon
appeared as one drven to madness under
hs own ega cross-e amnaton, whch was
conducted wth a ong forefnger and an ar
of ferocous waggery. One hghy success-
fu trogy representng Ingewood recog-
nzng Ingewood, Ingewood prostratng
hmsef before Ingewood, and Ingewood
severey beatng Ingewood wth an umbrea
Innocent Smth wanted to have enarged
and put up n the ha, ke a sort of fresco,
wth the nscrpton
Sef-knowedge, sef-reverence, sef-contro:
These three aone w make a man a prg.
T NNYSON.
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t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


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g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
Nothng, agan, coud be more prosac
and mpenetrabe than the domestc energes
of Mss Dana Duke. ut Innocent had
somehow bundered on the dscovery that
her thrfty dressmakng went wth a
consderabe femnne care for dress the
one femnne thng that had never faed
her sotary sef-respect. In consequence
Smth pestered her wth a theory (whch
he reay seemed to take serousy) that
ades mght combne economy wth mag-
nfcence f they woud draw ght chak
patterns on a pan dress and then dust them
off agan. e set up Smth s Lghtnng
Dressmakng Company wth two screens,
a cardboard pacard, and bo of brght soft
crayons and Mss Dana actuay threw
hm an abandoned back overa or workng
dress on whch to e ercse the taents of a
modste. e prompty produced for her
a garment afame wth red and god sun-
fowers she hed t up an nstant to her
shouders, and ooked ke an empress. And
Arthur Ingewood, some hours afterwards
ceanng hs bcyce (wth hs usua ar of
beng ne trcaby hdden n t), ganced up,
G
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#
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h
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#
p
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g
o
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g

e
MANALI
pcncs or crmson sunfowers than she had n
the chemcas of Ingewood or the sardonc
speeches of Moon. Courtesy, on the other
hand, s a thng that any one can understand
and Smth s manners were as courteous as they
were unconventona. She sad he was a rea
genteman, by whch she smpy meant a
knd-hearted man, whch s a very dfferent
thng. She woud st at the head of the tabe
wth fat, foded hands and a fat, foded sme
for hours and hours, whe every one ese was
takng at once. At east, the ony other e -
cepton was Rosamund s companon, Mary
Gray, whose sence was of a much more eager
sort. Though she never spoke she aways
ooked as f she mght speak any mnute.
Perhaps ths s the very defnton of a com-
panon. Innocent Smth seemed to throw
hmsef, as nto other adventures, nto the ad-
venture of makng her tak. e never suc-
ceeded, yet he was never snubbed f he
acheved anythng, t was ony to draw atten-
ton to ths quet fgure, and to turn her, by
ever so tte, from a modesty to a mystery.
ut f she was a rdde, every one recognzed
that she was a fresh and unspot rdde, ke
3
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e
MANALI
the rdde of the sky and the woods n sprng.
Indeed, though she was rather oder than the
other two grs, she had an eary mornng ar-
dour, a fresh earnestness of youth, whch Rosa-
mund seemed to have ost n the mere spend-
ng of money, and Dana n the mere guardng
of t. Smth ooked at her agan and agan.
er eyes and mouth were set n her face the
wrong way whch was reay the rght way.
She had the knack of sayng everythng wth
her face: her sence was a sort of steady ap-
pause.
ut among the harous e perments of that
hoday (whch seemed more ke a week s
hoday than a day s) one e perment towers
supreme, not because t was any ser or more
successfu than the others, but because out of
ths partcuar foy fowed a the odd events
that were to foow. A the other practca
okes e poded of themseves and eft vacancy
a the other fctons returned upon themseves
and were fnshed, ke a song. ut the strng
of sod and startng events whch were to
ncude a hansom cab, a detectve, a psto, and
a marrage cence were a made prmary
4
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e
MANALI
possbe by the oke about the gh Court of
eacon.
It had orgnated not wth Innocent Smth,
but wth Mchae Moon. e was n a strange
gow and pressure of sprts, and taked n-
cessanty yet he had never been more sarcastc,
and even nhuman. e used hs od useess
knowedge as a barrster to tak entertan-
ngy of a trbuna that was a parody on the
pompous anomaes of ngsh aw. The
gh Court of eacon, he decared, was a
spendd e ampe of our free and sensbe con-
sttuton. It had been founded by Kng |ohn
n defance of Magna Charta, and now hed ab-
soute power over wndms, wne and sprt
cences, ades traveng n Turkey, revson
of sentences for dog-steang and parrcde, as
we as anythng whatever that happened n
the town of Market- osworth. The whoe
hundred and nne seneschas of the gh
Court of eacon met once n every four cen-
tures but n the ntervas (as Mr. Moon e -
paned) the whoe powers of the nsttuton
were vested n Mrs. Duke. Tossed about
among the rest of the company, however, the

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e
MANALI
gh Court dd not retan ts hstorca and
ega serousness, but was used somewhat
unscrupuousy n a rot of domestc deta.
If somebody spt the orcester sauce on the
tabecoth, he was qute sure t was a rte
wthout whch the sttngs and fndngs of the
Court woud be nvad or f somebody
wanted a wndow to reman shut, he woud
suddeny remember that none but the thrd
son of the ord of the manor of Penge had
the rght to open t. They even went the
ength of makng arrests and conductng
crmna nqures. The proposed tra of
Moses Goud for patrotsm was rather above
the heads of the company, especay of the
crmna but the tra of Ingewood on a
charge of photographc be, and hs tr-
umphant acqutta upon a pea of nsanty,
were admtted to be n the best tradtons of
the Court.
ut when Smth was n wd sprts he
grew more and more serous, not more and
more fppant ke Mchae Moon. Ths
proposa of a prvate court of ustce whch
Moon had thrown off wth the detachment
of a potca humorst, Smth reay caught
.6
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e
MANALI
hod of wth the eagerness of an abstract
phosopher. It was by far the best thng
they coud do, he decared, to cam sover-
egn powers even for the ndvdua house-
hod.
You beeve n ome Rue for Ireand
I beeve n ome Rue for homes, he
cred eagery to Mchae. It woud be
better f every father coud k hs son, as
wth the od Romans t woud be better,
because nobody woud be ked. Let s ssue
a Decaraton of Independence from eacon
ouse. e coud grow enough greens n
that garden to support us, and when the ta -
coector comes et s te hm we re sef-sup-
portng, and pay on hm wth the hose.
. . . e, perhaps, as you say, we coudn t
very we have a hose, as that comes from
the man but we coud snk a we n ths
chak, and a ot coud be done wth water-
ugs. . . . Let ths be reay eacon
ouse. Let s ght a bonfre of ndependence
qn the roof, and see house after house answer-
ng t across the vaey of the Thames Let us
begn the League of the ree ames
Away wth Loca Government A fg for
7
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e
MANALI
Loca Patrotsm I Let every house be a
toveregn state as ths s, and udge ts own
chdren by ts own aw, as we do by the
Court of eacon Let us cut the panter,
and begn to be happy together, as f we were
on a desert sand
I know that desert sand, sad Mchae
Moon t ony e sts n the Swss amy
Robnson. A man fees a strange desre for
some sort of vegetabe mk, and crash comes
down some une pected cocoanut from some
undscovered monkey. A terary man fees
ncned to pen a sonnet, and at once an
offcous porcupne rushes out of a thcket,
and shoots out one of hs qus.
Don t you say a word aganst the Swss
amy Robnson, cred Innocent wth great
warmth. It mayn t be e act scence, but
t s dead accurate phosophy. hen you re
reay shpwrecked, you do reay fnd what
you want. hen you re reay on a desert
sand, you never fnd t a desert. If we were
reay beseged n ths garden we d fnd a hun-
dred ngsh brds and ngsh berres that
we never knew were here. If we were
snowed up n ths room, we d be the better
8
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#
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e
MANALI
for readng scores of books n that bookcase
that we don t even know are there we d have
taks wth each other good, terrbe taks,
that we sha go to the grave wthout guessng
we d fnd materas for everythng: chrstenng,
marrage or funera yes, even for a Corona-
ton, f we ddn t decde to be a repubc.
A Coronaton on Swss amy nes, I
suppose, sad Mchae, aughng. Oh, I
know you woud fnd everythng n that
atmosphere. If we wanted such a smpe
thng, for nstance, as a Coronaton Canopy,
we shoud wak down beyond the geranums
and fnd the Canopy Tree n fu boom. If
we wanted such a trfe as a crown of god,
why, we shoud be dggng up dandeons,
and we shoud fnd a god mne under the
awn. And when we wanted o for the cere-
mony, why, I suppose, a great storm woud
wash everythng on shore, and we shoud fnd
there was a whae on the premses.
And so there s a whae on the premses
for a you know, asseverated Smth, strkng
the tabe wth passon. I bet you ve never
e amned the premses I bet you ve never
been round at the back as I was ths mornng
9
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S
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MAN ALI
for I found the very thng you say coud
ony grow on a tree. There s an od sort
of square tent up aganst the dustbn t s got
three hoes n the canvas, and a poe s broken,
so t s not much good as a tent, but as a
Canopy And hs voce qute faed hm
to e press ts shnng adequacy then he went
on wth controversa eagerness. You see I
take every chaenge as you make t. I beeve
every bessed thng you say coudn t be here
has been here a the tme. You say you
want a whae washed up for o. hy, there s
o n that cruet-stand at your ebow and I
don t beeve anybody has touched t or
thought of t for years. And for your god
crown, we re none of us weathy here, but we
coud coect enough ten shng bts from our
own pockets to strng round a man s head for
haf an hour or one of Mss unt s god
banges s neary bg enough to
The good-humoured Rosamund was amost
chokng wth aughter. A s not god that
gtters, she sad and besdes
hat a mstake that s cred Innocent
Smth, eapng up n great e ctement. A
s god that gtters especay now we are a
60
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MANALI
Soveregn State. hat s the good of a Sov-
eregn State f t can t defne a soveregn
e can make anythng a precous meta, as
men coud n the mornng of the word. They
ddn t choose god because t was rare your
scentsts can te you twenty sorts of sme
much rarer. They chose god because t was
brght because t was a thng hard to fnd
but pretty when you ve found t. You can t
fght wth goden swords or eat goden
bscuts you can ony ook at t and you can
ook at t out here.
th one of hs ncacuabe motons he
sprang back and burst open the doors nto the
garden. At the same tme, aso, wth one of
hs gestures that never seemed at the nstant
so unconventona as they were, he stretched
out hs hand to Mary Gray, and ed her out
on to the awn as f for a dance.
The rench wndows, thus fung open, et
n an evenng even oveer than that of the
day before. The west was swmmng wth
sangune coours, and a sort of seepy fame
ay aong the awn. The twsted shadows of
the one or two garden trees showed upon ths
sheen, not gray or back, as n common day-
61
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MANALI
ght, but ke arabesques wrtten n vvd vo-
et nk on some page of eastern god. The
sunset was one of those festve, and yet mys-
terous confagratons n whch common thngs
by ther coours remnd us of costy or curous
thngs. The sates upon the sopng roof
burned ke the pumes of a vast peacock, n
every mysterous bend of bue and green.
The red-brown brcks of the wa gowed wth
a the October tnts of strong ruby and tawny
wnes. The sun seemed to set each ob ect
aght wth a dfferent cooured fame, ke a
man ghtng freworks and even Innocent s
har, whch was of a rather coouress farness,
seemed to have a fame of pagan god on t as
he strode across the awn towards the one ta
rdge of rockery.
hat woud be the good of god, he was
sayng, f t dd not gtter hy shoud we
care for a back soveregn any more than a
back sun at noon A back button woud do
ust as we. Don t you see that everythng
n ths yard ooks ke a ewe And w you
kndy te me what the deuce s the good of
a ewe e cept that t ooks ke a ewe
Leave off buyng and seng, and start ook-
62
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U
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MANALI
ng Open your eyes and you wake up n
the New |erusaem.
A s god that gtters:
Tree and tower of brass
Ros the goden evenng ar
Down the goden grass
Kck the cry to |ercho,
ow yeow mud s sod
A s god that gtters,
or the gtter s the god.
And who wrote that asked Rosamund,
amused.
No one w ever wrte t, answered
Smth, and ceared the rockery wth a fyng
eap.
Reay, sad Rosamund to Mchae Moon,
he ought to be sent to an asyum. Don t
you thnk so
I beg your pardon, nqured Mchae,
rather sombrey hs ong, swarthy head was
dark aganst the sunset, and ether by acc-
dent or mood he had the ook of somethng
soated and even hoste amd the soca e -
travagance of the garden.
I ony sad Mr. Smth ought to go to an
asyum, repeated the ady.
63
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MANALI
The ean face seemed to grow onger and
onger for Moon was unmstakaby sneerng.
No, he sad I don t thnk t s at a neces-
sary.
hat do you mean asked Rosamund
qucky. hy not
ecause he s n one now, answered
Mchae Moon n a quet but ugy voce.
hy, ddn t you know
hat cred the gr, and there was a
break n her voce for the Irshman s face
and voce were reay amost creepy. th
hs dark fgure and dark sayngs n a that
sunshne he ooked ke the dev n paradse.
I m sorry, he contnued, wth a sort of
harsh humty. Of course we don t tak
about t much . . . but I thought we a
reay knew.
Knew what
e, answered Moon, that eacon
ouse s a certan rather snguar sort of
house. A house wth the tes oose, sha
we say Innocent Smth s ony the doctor
that vsts us hadn t you come when he caed
before As most of our maades are mean-
choc, of course he has to be e tra cheery.
64
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MANALItf
Santy, of course, seems a very bumptous
eccentrc thng to us. |umpng over a wa
cmbng a tree that s hs bedsde man-
ner.
You daren t say such a thng cred Rosa-
mund n a rage. You daren t suggest that

Not more than I am, sad Mchae
soothngy. Not more than the rest of us.
aven t you ever notced that Mss Duke
never sts st a notorous sgn aven t
you ever observed that Ingewood s aways
washng hs hands a known mark of menta
dsease. I, of course, am a dpsomanac.
I don t beeve you, broke out hs com-
panon, not wthout agtaton. I ve heard
you had some bad habts
A habts are bad habts, sad Mchae,
wth deady cam. Madness does not come
by breakng out, but by gvng n by set-
tng down n some drty, tte, sef-repeatng
crce of deas by beng tamed. You went
mad about money, because you re an heress.
It s a e, cred Rosamund furousy. I
never was mean about money.
You were worse, sad Mchae, n a ow
6
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MANALI
voce, and yet voenty. You thought that
other peope were. You thought every man
who came near you must be a fortune-hunter
.you woud not et yoursef go and be sane
and now you re mad, and I m mad and serve
us rght.
You brute, sad Rosamund qute whte.
And s ths true
th an nteectua cruety of whch the
Cet s capabe when hs abysses are n revot,
Mchae was sent for some seconds, and then
stepped back wth an ronca bow. Not
teray true, of course, he sad ony reay
true. An aegory, sha we say A soca
satre.
And I hate and despse your satres, cred
Rosamund unt, ettng oose her whoe forc-
be femae personaty ke a cycone and
speakng every word to wound. I despse t
as I despse your rank tobacco, and your nasty,
oungy ways, and your snarng, and your
Radcasm, and your od cothes, and your
potty tte newspaper, and your rotten faure
at everythng. I don t care whether you ca
t snobbshness or not, I ke fe and success,
and oy thngs to ook at, and acton. You
66
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#
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MANALI
won t frghten me wth Dogenes I prefer
Ae ander.
ctr causa de sad Mchae goom-
y, and ths angered her more, as, not knowng
what t meant, she magned t to be wtty.
Oh, I dare say you know Greek, she sad,
wth cheerfu naccuracy you haven t done
much wth that ether, and she crossed the
garden, pursung the vanshed Innocent and
Mary.
In dong so she passed Ingewood, who was
returnng to the house sowy, and wth a
thought-couded brow. e was one of those
men who are qute cever, but qute the reverse
of quck. As he came back out of the sunset
garden nto the twght parour, Dana Duke
spt swfty to her feet, and began puttng
away the tea thngs. ut t was not before
Ingewood had seen an nstantaneous pcture
so unque, that he mght we have snapshotted
t wth hs everastng camera. or Dana
had been sttng n front of her unfnshed
work wth her chn on her hand, ookng
straght out of the wndow n pure thoughtess
thought.
You are busy, sad Arthur, oddy embar-
67
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#
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e
G
e
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a
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f
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m
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b
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@
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a
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m
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.
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C
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U
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S
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,

G
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#
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MANALI
heathness, and arner s scentfc appances.
e re aways preparng for somethng some-
thng that never comes off. I ventate the
house, and you sweep the house, but what s
gong to happen n the house
She was ookng at hm quety, but wth
very brght eyes, and seemed to be searchng
for some form of words whch she coud not
fnd.
efore she coud speak, the door burst open,
and the bosterous Rosamund unt, n her
famboyant whte hat, boa, and paraso, stood
framed n the doorway. She was n a breath-
ng heat, and on her open face was an e pres-
son of the most nfante astonshment.
e, here s a fne game, she sad, pant-
ng what am I to do now I wonder. I ve
wred for Dr. arner, that s a I can thnk of
dong.
hat s the matter asked Dana rather
sharpy, but movng forward, ke one used to
be caed upon for assstance.
It s Mary, sad the heress, my compan-
on, Mary Gray that cracked frend of yours
caed Smth has proposed to her n the gar-
den, after ten hours acquantance, and he
69
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e
MAN ALI
wants to go off wth her now for a speca
cence.
Arthur Ingewood waked to the open
rench wndows and ooked out on the garden,
st goden wth evenng ght. Nothng
moved there but a brd or two hoppng and
twtterng but beyond the hedge and rangs,
n the road outsde the garden gate, a hansom-
cab was watng, wth the yeow Gadstone
bag on top of t.
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#
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e
C APT R I
T GARD N O T GOD
DIANA DUK seemed ne pcaby rr-
tated at the abrupt entrance and utter-
ance of the other gr.
e, she sad shorty, I suppose Mss
Gray can decne hm f she doesn t want to
marry hm.
ut she does want to marry hm cred
Rosamund n e asperaton. She s a wd,
wcked foo, and I won t be parted from her.
Perhaps, sad Dana cy but I reay
don t see what we can do.
ut the man s bamy, Dana, reasoned her
frend angry. I can t et my nce governess
marry a man that s bamy You or somebody
must stop t Mr. Ingewood, you re a man
go and te them they smpy can t.
Unfortunatey, t seems to me they smpy
can, sad Ingewood, wth a depressed ar.
I have far ess rght of nterventon than Mss
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e
MANALI
Duke besdes havng far ess mora force than
she.
You haven t ether of you got much, cred
Rosamund, the ast stays of her formdabe
temper gvng way I thnk I go some-
where ese for a tte sense and puck. I
thnk I know some one who w hep me more
than you do, at any rate . . . he s a can-
tankerous beast, but he s a man and has a mnd,
and knows t. . . . And she fung out
nto the garden, wth cheeks afame, and the
paraso whrng ke a Catharne whee.
She found Mchae Moon standng under
the garden tree, ookng over the hedge
hunched ke a brd of prey, wth hs arge
ppe hangng down hs ong bue chn. The
very hardness of hs e presson peased her,
after the nonsense of the new engagement, and
the shy-shayng of her other frends.
I am sorry I was cross, Mr. Moon, she
sad franky. I hated you for beng a cync
but I ve been we punshed, for I want a cync
ust now. I ve had my f of sentment I m
fed up wth t. The word s gone madt Mr.
Moon a e cept the cyncs, I thnk. That
manac Smth wants to marry my od frend
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e
MANALI
Mary, and she and she doesn t seem to
mnd.
Seeng hs attentve face st undsturbedy
smokng, she added smarty, I m not okng
that s Mr. Smth s cab outsde. e swears
he take her off now to hs aunt s, and go for
a speca cence. Do gve me some practca
advce, Mr. Moon.
Mr. Moon took hs ppe out of hs mouth,
hed t n hs hand for an nstant refectvey,
and then tossed t to the other sde of the gar-
den. My practca advce to you s ths,
he sad: Let hm go for hs speca cence,
and ask hm to get another one for you and
me.
Is that one of your okes asked the young
ady. Do say what you reay mean.
I mean that Innocent Smth s a man of
busness, sad Moon wth ponderous prec-
son. A pan, practca man a man of af-
fars a man of facts and the dayght. e
has et down twenty ton of good budng
brcks suddeny on my head, and I am gad to
say they have woken me up. e went to seep
a tte whe ago on ths very awn, n ths very
sunght. e have had a tte nap for fve
73
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e
MANALI
years or so, but now we re gong to be marred,
Rosamund, and I can t see why that cab. . . .
Reay, sad Rosamund stouty, I don t
know what you mean.
hat a e cred Mchae, advancng on
her wth brghtenng eyes. I m a for es
n an ordnary way but don t you see that to-
nght they won t do e ve wandered nto a
word of facts, od gr. That grass growng,
and that sun gong down, and that cab at the
door, are facts. You used to torment and e -
cuse yoursef by sayng I was after your
money, and ddn t reay ove you. ut f I
stood here now, and tod you I ddn t ove you
you woudn t beeve me. or truth s n
ths garden to-nght.
Reay, Mr. Moon . . . sad Rosamund,
rather more fanty.
e kept two bg bue magnetc eyes f ed
on her face. Is my name Moon he asked.
Is your name unt On my honour, they
sound to me as quant and dstant as Red In-
dan names. It s as f your name was Swm,
and my name was Sunrse. ut our rea
names are usband and fe, as they were
when we fe aseep.
74
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e
MANALI
It s no good, sad Rosamund, wth rea
tears n her eyes one can never go back.
I can go where I damn pease, sad
Mchae, and I can carry you on my shou-
der.
ut reay, Mchae, reay, you must stop
and thnk cred the gr earnesty. You
coud carry me off my feet I dare say, sou and
body, but t may be btter bad busness for a
that. These thngs done n that romantc rush,
ke Mr. Smth s, they they do attract women,
I don t deny t. As you say, we re a teng
the truth to-nght. They ve attracted poor
Mary, for one. They attract me, Mchae.
ut the cod fact remans: mprudent mar-
rages do ead to ong unhappness and dsap-
pontment you ve got used to your drnks and
thngs I shan t be pretty much onger
Imprudent marrages roared Mchae.
And pray where n earth or heaven are there
any prudent marrages Mght as we tak
about prudent sucdes. You and I have
dawded round each other ong enough, and
are we any safer than Smth and Mary Gray
who met ast nght You never know a hus-
band t you marry hm. Unhappy Of
7
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e
MAN ALI
course you be unhappy ho the dev are
you that you shoudn t be unhappy, ke the
mother that bore you Dsapponted Of
course we be dsapponted I, for one, don t
e pect t I de to be so good a man as I am
at ths mnute, for ust now I m ffty thousand
feet hgh, a tower wth a the trumpets shout-
ng.
You see a ths, sad Rosamund, wth a
grand sncerty n her sod face, and do you
reay want to marry me
My darng, what ese s there to do
reasoned the Irshman. hat other occupa-
ton s there for an actve man on ths earth,
e cept to marry you hat s the aternatve
to marrage, barrng seep It s not berty,
Rosamund. Uness you marry God, as our
nuns do n Ireand, you must marry Man that
s Me. The ony thrd thng s to marry your-
sef to ve wth yoursef yoursef, yoursef,
yoursef the ony companon that s never
satsfed and never satsfactory.
Mchae, sad Mss unt, n a very soft
voce, f you won t tak so much, I marry
you.
It s no tme for takng, cred Mchae
76
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U
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e
MANALI
Moon. Sngng s the ony thng. Can t
you fnd that mandone of yours, Rosamund.
Go and fetch t for me, sad Rosamund,
wth crsp and sharp authorty.
The oungng Mr. Moon stood for one spt
second astonshed, then he shot away across the
awn, as f shod wth the feathered shoes out
of the Greek fary tae. e ceared three
yards and ffteen dases at a eap, out of mere
body evty but when he came wthn a yard
or two of the open parour wndows, hs fyng
feet fe n ther od manner ke ead he
twsted round and came back sowy, whstng.
The events of that enchanted evenng were not
at an end.
Insde the dark sttng-room of whch Moon
had caught a gmpse, a curous thng had hap-
pened, amost an nstant after the ntemperate
e t of Rosamund. It was somethng whch,
occurrng n that obscure parour, that seemed
to Arthur Ingewood ke heaven and earth
turnng head over hees, the sea beng the ce-
ng and the stars the foor. No words can e -
press how t astonshed hm, as t astonshes a
smpe men when t happens. Yet the stffest
femae stocsm seems separated from t, ony
77
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e
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(
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C
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e
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)

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,

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e
MANALI
by a sheet of paper or a sheet of stee. It nd-
cates no surrender, far ess any sympathy.
The most rgd and ruthess woman can begn
to cry, ust as the most effemnate man can
grow a beard. It s a separate se ua power,
and proves nothng one way or the other about
force of character. ut to young men gno-
rant of women, ke Arthur Ingewood, to see
Dana Duke cryng was ke seeng a motor-
car sheddng tears of o.
e coud never have gven (even f hs
reay many modesty had permtted t) any
vaguest vson of what he dd when he saw that
portent. e acted as men do when a theatre
catches fre very dfferenty from what they
woud have conceved themseves as actng,
whether for better or worse. e had a fant
memory of certan haf-stfed e panatons,
that the heress was the one reay payng
guest, and she woud go, and the baffs (n
consequence) woud come but after that he
knew nothng of hs own conduct e cept by the
protests t evoked.
Leave me aone, Mr. Ingewood eave me
aone that s not the way to hep.
78
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e
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(
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C
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)

o
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MANALI
ut I can hep you, sad Arthur, wth
grndng certanty I can, I can, I can. . . .
hy, you sad, cred the gr, that you
were much weaker than me.
So I am weaker than you, sad Arthur, n
a voce that went vbratng through every-
thng, but not ust now.
Let go my hands cred Dana. I won t
be bued.
In one eement he was much stronger than
she, the matter of humour. Ths eapt up n
hm suddeny and he aughed, sayng:
e, you are mean. You know qute we
you buy me a the rest of my fe. You
mght aow a man the one mnute of hs fe
when he s aowed to buy.
It was as e traordnary for hm to augh as
for her to cry and for the frst tme snce her
chdhood Dana was entrey off her guard.
Do you mean you want to marry me she
sad.
hy, there s a cab at the door cred
Ingewood, sprngng up wth an unconscous
energy and burstng open the gass doors that
ed nto the garden.
79
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MANALI
As he ed her out by the hand they reazed
somehow for the frst tme that the house and
garden were on a steep heght over London.
And yet, though they fet the pace to be up-
fted, they fet t aso to be secret: t was ke
some round-waed garden on the top of one
of the turrets of heaven.
Ingewood ooked around dreamy, hs
brown eyes devourng a sorts of detas wth
a senseess deght. e notced for the frst
tme that the rangs of the gate beyond the
garden bushes were mouded ke tte spear-
heads, and panted bue. e notced that one
of the bue spears was oosened n ts pace,
and hung sdeways and ths amost made hm
augh. e thought t somehow e qustey
harmess and funny that the rang shoud be
crooked he thought he shoud ke to know
how t happened who dd t and how the
man was gettng on.
hen they were gone a few feet across that
fery grass they reazed that they were not
aone. Rosamund unt and the eccentrc
Mr. Moon, both of whom they had ast seen
n the backest temper of detachment, were
standng together on the awn. They were
80
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MANALI
standng n qute an ordnary manner, and
yet they ooked somehow ke peope n a
book.
Oh sad Dana. hat ovey ar
I know, caed out Rosamund, wth a
peasure so postve that t rang out ke a com-
pant. It s ust ke that horrd, beasty,
fzzy stuff they gave me that made me fee
happy.
Oh, t sn t ke anythng but tsef an-
swered Dana, breathng deepy. hy, t s
a cod, and yet t fees ke fre.
amy s the word we use n eet Street,
sad Mr. Moon. amy especay on the
crumpet. And he fanned hmsef qute un-
necessary wth hs straw hat. They were a
fu of tte eaps and pusatons of ob ectess
and ary energy. Dana strred and stretched
her ong arms rgdy, as f crucfed, n a sort
of e crucatng restfuness Mchae stood st
for ong ntervas, wth gathered musces, then
spun round ke a teetotum, and stood st
agan Rosamund dd not trp, for women
never trp, e cept when they fa on ther noses,
but she struck the ground wth her foot as she
moved, as f to some naudbe dance tune
6 81
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MANALI
and Ingewood, eanng qute quety aganst
a tree, had unconscousy cutched a branch
and shaken t wth a creatve voence. Those
gant gestures of man, that make the hgh
statues and the strokes of war, tossed and tor-
mented a ther mbs. Senty as they
stroed and stood they were burstng ke bat-
teres wth an anma magnetsm.
And now, cred Moon qute suddeny,
stretchng out a hand on each sde, et s dance
round that bush
hy, what bush do you mean asked
Rosamund, ookng round wth a sort of rad-
ant rudeness.
The bush that sn t there, sad Mchae
the Muberry ush.
They had taken each other s hands, haf
aughng and qute rtuay and before they
coud dsconnect agan Mchae spun them a
round, ke a demon spnnng the word for a
top. Dana fet, as the crce of the horzon
few nstantaneousy around her, a far aera
sense of the rng of heghts beyond London
and corners where she had cmbed as a chd
she seemed amost to hear the rooks cawng
about the od pnes on ghgate, or to see the
82
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MANALI
gow-worms gatherng and kndng n the
woods of o .
The crce broke as a such perfect crces
of evty must break and sent ts author,
Mchae, fyng as by centrfuga force, far
away aganst the bue ras of the gate. hen
reeng there, he suddeny rased shout after
shout of a new and qute dramatc character.
hy, t s arner he shouted, wavng hs
arms. It s oy od arner wth a new
sk hat and the od sk moustache
Is that Dr. arner cred Rosamund,
boundng forward n a burst of memory,
amusement, and dstress. Oh, I m so sorry I
Oh, do te hm t s a rght
Let s take hands and te hm, sad
Mchae Moon. or, ndeed, whe they were
takng, another hansom had dashed up behnd
the one aready watng, and Dr. erbert
arner, eavng a companon n the cab, had
carefuy deposted hmsef on the pavement.
Now, when you are an emnent physcan
and are wred for by an heress to come to a
case of dangerous mana, and when, as you
come n through the garden to the house, the
heress and her andady and two of the gen-
83
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MANALI
temen boarders on hands and dance round
you n a rng, cang out, It s a rght t s
a rght you are apt to be fustered, and
even dspeased. Dr. arner was a pacd
but hardy a pacabe person. The two thngs
are by no means the same and even when
Moon e paned to hm that he, arner, wth
hs hgh hat and ta, sod fgure, was ust such
a cassc coumn as ought to be danced round
by a rng of aughng madens on some od
goden Greek seashore even then he seemed
to mss the pont of the genera re ocng.
Ingewood cred Dr. arner, f ng hs
former dscpe wth a stare, are you mad
Arthur fushed to the roots of hs brown har,
but he answered easy and quety enough,
Not now. The truth s, arner, I ve ust
made a rather mportant medca dscovery
qute n your ne.
hat do you mean asked the great doc-
tor stffy. hat dscovery
I ve dscovered that heath reay s catch-
ng, ke dsease, answered Arthur.
Yes santy has broken out, and s spread-
ng, sad Mchae, performng-a pas seu wth
a thoughtfu e presson. Twenty thousand
84
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MANALI
more cases taken to the hosptas: nurses em-
poyed nght and day.
Dr. arner studed Mchae s grave face
and ghty movng egs wth an unfathomed
wonder. And s ths, may I ask, he sad,
the santy that s spreadng
You must forgve me, Dr. arner, cred
Rosamund unt hearty. I know I ve
treated you bady but ndeed t was a a ms-
take. I was n a frghtfuy bad temper when
I sent for you, but now t a seems ke a
dream and and Mr. Smth s the sweetest,
most sensbe, most deghtfu od thng that
ever e sted, and he may marry any one he
kes e cept me.
I shoud suggest Mrs. Duke, sad
Mchae.
The gravty of Dr. arner s face ncreased.
e took a sp of pnk paper from hs wast-
coat pocket, wth hs pae bue eyes quety
f ed on Rosamund s face a the tme. e
spoke wth a not ne cusabe frgdty.
Reay, Mss unt, he sad, you are not
yet very reassurng. You sent me ths wre
ony haf an hour ago Come at once, f pos-
sbe, wth another doctor. Man Innocent
8
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MANALI
Smth gone mad on premses, and dong
dreadfu thngs. Do you know anythng of
hm I went round at once to a dstn-
gushed coeague of mne, a doctor who s
aso a prvate detectve and an authorty on
crmna unacy he has come round wth me,
and s watng n the cab. Now you camy
te me that ths crmna madman s a hghy
sweet and sane od thng, wth accompan-
ments that set me specuatng on your own
defntons of santy. I hardy comprehend
the change.
Oh, how can one e pan a change n sun
and moon and everybody s sou cred Rosa-
mund, n despar. Must I confess we had
got so morbd as to thnk hm mad, merey be-
cause he wanted to get marred And that
we ddn t even know t was ony because we
wanted to get marred ourseves e hu-
mate ourseves, f you ke, doctor we re
happy enough.
here s Mr. Smth asked arner of
Ingewood very sharpy.
Arthur started he had forgotten a about
the centra fgure of ther farce, who had not
been vsbe for an hour or more.
86
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S
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MANALI
I I thnk he s on the other sde of the
house, by the dustbn, he sad.
e may be on the road to Russa, sad
arner but he must be found. And he
strode away and dsappeared round a corner
of the house by the sunfowers.
I hope, sad Rosamund, he won t reay
nterfere wth Mr. Smth.
Interfere wth the dases sad Mchae
wth a snort. A man can t be ocked up for
fang n ove at east, I hope not.
No, I thnk even a doctor coudn t make
a dsease out of hm. e d throw off the doc-
tor ke the dsease, don t you know. I be-
eve t s a case of a sort of sant. I beeve
Innocent Smth s smpy nnocent, and that
s why he s so e traordnary.
It was Rosamund who spoke, restessy
tracng crces n the grass wth the pont of
her whte shoe.
I thnk, sad Ingewood, that Smth s
not e traordnary at a. e s comc ust be-
cause he s so startngy commonpace. Don t
you know what t s to be n a one famy
crce, wth aunts and unces, when a schoo-
boy comes home for the hodays That bag
87
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c

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a

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U
n

t
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S
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a
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s
,

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o
o
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.
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/
a
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s
s
_
u
s
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#
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o
o
g

e
MANALI
there on the cab s ony a schooboy s hamper.
Ths tree here n the garden s ony the sort of
tree that any schooboy woud have cmbed.
Yes, that s the thng that has haunted us a
about hm, the thng we coud never ft a word
to. hether he s my od schoofeow or no,
at east he s a my od schoofeows. e s
the endess bun-eatng, ba-throwng anma
that we have a been.
That s ony you absurd boys, sad Dana.
I don t beeve any gr was ever so sy, and
I m sure no gr was ever so happy e cept
and she stopped.
I w te you the truth about Innocent
Smth, sad Mchae Moon n a ow voce.
Dr. arner has gone to ook for hm n van.
e s not there. aven t you notced that
we never saw hm snce we found ourseves
e was an astra baby born of a four of us
he was ony our own youth returned. Long
before poor od arner had cambered out of
hs cab, the thng we caed Smth had ds-
soved nto dew and ght on ths awn. Once
or twce more, by the mercy of God, we may
fee the thng, but the man we sha never see.
In a sprng garden before breakfast we sha
88
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b
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@
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a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
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t
m
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t
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C
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e
g
e
)

o
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2
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U
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S
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a
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,

G
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o
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w
.
h
a
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t
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/
a
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s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
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o
o
g

e
MANALI
sme the sme caed Smth. In the snap-
png of brsk twgs n tny fres we sha hear
a nose named Smth. verythng nsatabe
and nnocent n the grasses that gobbe up the
earth ke babes at a bun feast, n the whte
mornngs that spt the sky as a boy spts up
whte fr-wood, we may fee for one nstant
the presence of an mpetuous purty but hs
nnocence was too cose to the unconscousness
of nanmate thngs not to met back at a mere
touch nto the md hedges and heavens he
e was nterrupted from behnd the house
by a bang ke that of a bomb. Amost at the
same nstant the stranger n the cab sprang out
of t, eavng t rockng upon the stones of the
road. e cutched the bue rangs of the
garden, and peered eagery over them n
the drecton of the nose. e was a sma,
oose yet aert man, very thn, wth a face that
seemed made out of fsh bones, and a sk hat
qute as rgd and respendent as arner s,
but thrust back reckessy on the hnder part
of hs head.
Murder he shreked, n a hgh and fem-
nne but very penetratng voce. Stop that
murderer there
89
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t
m
o
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t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
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m
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t
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C
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e
g
e
)

o
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2
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U
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a
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,

G
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w
.
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a
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s
_
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#
p
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o
o
g

e
MANALI
ven as he shreked a second shot shook the
ower wndows of the house, and wth the
nose of t Dr. erbert arner came fyng
round the corner ke a eapng rabbt. Yet
before he had reached the group a thrd ds-
charge had deafened them and they saw wth
ther own eyes two spots of whte sky dred
through the second of the unhappy erbert s
hgh hats. The ne t moment the fugtve
physcan fe over a fowerpot, and came
down on a fours, starng ke a cow. The
hat wth the two shot-hoes n t roed upon
the grave path before hm, and Innocent
Smth came round the corner ke a raway-
tran. e was ookng twce hs proper sze
a gant cad n green, the bg revover st
smokng n hs hand, hs face sangune and n
shadow, hs eyes bazng ke stars, and hs
yeow har standng out a ways ke Struwe-
peter s.
Though ths startng scene hung but an n-
stant n stness, Ingewood had tme to fee
once more what he had fet when he saw the
other overs standng on the awn the sensa-
ton of a certan cut and cooured cearness
that beongs rather to the thngs of art than
90
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m
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h
.
e
d
u

(
D
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C
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g
e
)

o
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2
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U
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d

S
t
a
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s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
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z
e
d


/


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w
.
h
a
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t
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o
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g
/
a
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s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
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u
s
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g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
to the thngs of e perence. The broken
fowerpot wth ts red-hot geranums, the
green buk of Smth and the back buk of
arner, the bue-spked rangs behnd,
cutched by the stranger s yeow vuture
caws and peered over by hs ong vuture
neck, the sk hat on the grave, and the tte
coudet of smoke foatng across the garden
as nnocenty as the puff of a cgarette: a
these seemed unnaturay dstnct and defnte.
They e sted, ke symbos, n an ecstasy of
separaton. Indeed, every ob ect grew more
and more partcuar and precous because the
whoe pcture was breakng up. Thngs ook
so brght ust before they burst.
Long before hs fances had begun, et aone
ceased, Arthur had stepped across and taken
one of Smth s arms. Smutaneousy the t-
te stranger had run up the steps and taken
the other. Smth went nto peas of aughter,
and surrendered hs psto wth perfect w-
ngness. Moon rased the doctor to hs feet,
and then went and eaned sueny on the gar-
den gate. The grs were quet and vgant,
as good women mosty are n nstants of catas-
trophe, but ther faces showed that somehow
G
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f
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G
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#
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e
MAN ALI
or other a ght had been dashed out of ther
sky. The doctor hmsef, when he had rsen,
coected hs hat and wts, and dusted hmsef
down wth an ar of great dsgust, turned to
them n bref apoogy. e was very whte
wth hs recent panc, but he spoke wth per-
fect sef-contro.
You w e cuse us, ades, he sad, my
frend and Mr. Ingewood are both scentsts
n ther severa ways I thnk we had better
a take Mr. Smth ndoors, and communcate
wth you ater.
And under the guard of the three natura
phosophers, the dsarmed Smth was ed
tactfuy nto the house, st roarng wth
aughter.
rom tme to tme durng the ne t twenty
mnutes hs dstant boom of mrth coud agan
be heard through the haf-open wndow but
there came no echo of the quet voces of the
physcans. The grs waked about the gar-
den together, rubbng up each other s sprts
as best they mght Mchae Moon st hung
heavy aganst the gate. Somewhere about
the e praton of that tme, Dr. arner came
out of the house agan wth a face ess pae
92
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.
e
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(
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C
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U
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S
t
a
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,

G
o
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e
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z
e
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w
.
h
a
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t
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o
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g
/
a
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s
s
_
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s
e
#
p
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o
o
g

e
MANALI
but even more stern, and the tte man wth
the fsh-bone face advanced gravey n hs rear.
And f the face of arner n the sunght was
that of a hangng udge, the face of the tte
man behnd was more ke a death s head.
Mss unt, sad Dr. erbert arner,
I ony wsh to offer you my warm thanks and
admraton. y your prompt courage and
wsdom n sendng for us by wre ths evenng,
you have enabed us to capture and put out
of mschef one of the most crue and terrbe
of the enemes of humanty a crmna whose
pausbty and ptessness have never been
before combned n fesh.
Rosamund ooked across at hm wth a
whte, bank face and bnkng eyes. hat
do you mean she asked. You can t mean
Mr. Smth
e has gone by many other names, sad
the doctor gravey. And not one he dd not
eave to be cursed behnd hm. That man,
Mss unt, has eft a track of bood and tears
across the word. hether he s mad as we
as wcked, we are tryng, n the nterests of
scence, to dscover. In any case, we sha
have to take hm before a magstrate frst, even
93
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.
e
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(
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m
o
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C
o

e
g
e
)

o
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2
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a

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U
n

t
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d

S
t
a
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s
,

G
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o
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e
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#
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e
MANALI
f ony on the road to a unatc asyum. ut
the unatc asyum n whch he s confned w
have to be seaed wth wa wthn wa, and
rnged wth guns ke a fortress, or he w
break out agan to brng forth carnage and
darkness on the earth.
Rosamund ooked at the two doctors, her
face growng paer and paer then her eyes
strayed to Mchae who was eanng on the
gate, but he contnued to ean on t wthout
movng, wth hs face turned away towards
the darkenng road.
94
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(
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C
o

e
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e
)

o
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2
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U
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d

S
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a
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s
,

G
o
o
g

e
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e
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s
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#
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o
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e
C APT R
T ALL GORICAL PRACTICAL |OK R
T crmna specast who had come
wth Dr. arner was a somewhat more
urbane and even dapper fgure, on coser n-
specton, than he had appeared when cutch-
ng the rangs and cranng hs neck nto the
garden. e even ooked comparatvey
young when he took hs hat off, havng far
har parted n the mdde and carefuy cured
on each sde, and vey movements especay
of the hands. e had a dandfed monoce
sung round hs neck by a broad back rbbon,
and a bg bow te, as f a bg Amercan moth
had aghted on hm. s dress and gestures
were brght enough for a boy s t was ony
when you ooked at the fsh-bone face tsef
that you behed somethng acrd and od.
s manners were e ceent, though hardy
ngsh, and he had two haf-conscous trcks
by whch peope who ony met hm once re-
9
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o
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h
.
e
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(
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C
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)

o
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U
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S
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a
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s
,

G
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o
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e
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z
e
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/


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w
w
.
h
a
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t
r
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o
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g
/
a
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s
s
_
u
s
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#
p
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o
o
g

e
MANALI
membered hm. One was a trck of cosng
hs eyes when he wshed to be partcuary po-
te the other was one of ftng hs oned
thumb and forefnger n the ar as f hodng
a pnch of snuff, when he was hestatng or
hoverng over a word. ut those who were
onger n hs company tended to forget these
oddtes n the stream of hs quant and soemn
conversaton, and reay snguar vews.
Mss unt, sad Dr. arner, ths s Dr.
Cyrus Pym.
Dr. Cyrus Pym shut hs eyes durng the
ntroducton, rather as f he were payng
far n some chd s game and gave a prompt
tte bow whch somehow suddeny reveaed
hm as a ctzen of the Unted States.
Dr. Cyrus Pym, contnued arner (Dr.
Pym shut hs eyes agan), s perhaps the frst
crmnoogca e pert of Amerca. e are
very fortunate to be abe to consut wth hm
n ths e traordnary case
I can t make head or ta of anythng,
sad Rosamund. ow can poor Mr. Smth
be so dreadfu as he s by your account
Or by your teegram, sad erbert
arner, smng.
96
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.
e
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u

(
D
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m
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C
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e
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)

o
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2
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c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
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U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
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d


/


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.
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/
a
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s
s
_
u
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#
p
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u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
Oh, you don t understand, cred the gr
mpatenty. hy, he s done us, a more
good than gong to church.
I thnk I can e pan to the young ady,
sad Dr. Cyrus Pym. Ths crmna or
manac Smth s a very genus of ev and has
a method of hs own, a method of the most
darng ngenuty. e s popuar wherever
he goes, for he nvades every house as an up-
roarous chd. Peope are gettng suspcous
of a the respectabe dsguses for a scoundre
so he aways uses the dsguse of what sha
I say the oheman, the bameess ohe-
man. e aways carres peope off ther feet.
Peope are used to the mask of conventona
good conduct. e goes n for eccentrc good-
nature. You e pect a Don |uan to dress up
as a soemn and sod Spansh merchant but
you re not prepared for Don |uan when he
dresses up as Don u ote. You e pect a
humbug to behave ke Sr Chares Grand-
son because (wth a respect, Mss unt, for
the deep, tear-movng tenderness of Samue
Rchardson) Sr Chares Grandson so often
behaved ke a humbug. ut no rea red-
booded ctzen s qute ready for a humbug
7 97
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a
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t
m
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h
.
e
d
u

(
D
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o

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g
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)

o
n

2
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9
9
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P
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b

c

D
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a

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t
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U
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t
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d

S
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a
t
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s
,

G
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e
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w
.
h
a
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t
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o
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g
/
a
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s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
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s
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g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
that modes hmsef not on Sr Chares Grand-
son but on Sr Roger de Coverey. Settng
up to be a good man a tte cracked s a new
crmna ncognto, Mss unt. It s been a
great noton, and commony successfu but ts
success ust makes t mghty crue. I can for-
gve Dck Turpn f he mpersonates Dr.
usby I can t forgve hm when he mper-
sonates Dr. |ohnson. The sant wth a te
oose s a bt too sacred, I guess, to be paro-
ded.
ut how do you know, cred Rosamund
desperatey, that Mr. Smth s a known
crmna
I coated a the documents, sad the
Amercan, when my frend arner knocked
me up on recept of your cabe. It s my pro-
fessona affar to know these facts, Mss
unt and there s no more doubt about them
than about the radshaw down at the depot.
Ths man has htherto escaped the aw,
through hs admrabe affectatons of nfancy
or nsanty. ut I mysef, as a specast,
have prvatey authentcated notes of some
eghteen or twenty crmes attempted or
98
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a
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t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
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t
m
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h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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U
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d

S
t
a
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s
,

G
o
o
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e
-
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z
e
d


/


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/
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w
.
h
a
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t
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g
/
a
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s
_
u
s
e
#
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o
o
g

e
MANALI
acheved n ths manner. e comes to houses
as he has to ths, and gets a grand popuarty.
e makes thngs go. They do go when he s
gone the thngs are gone. Gone, Mss unt,
gone, a man s fe or a man s spoons, or more
often a woman. I assure you, I have a the
memoranda.
I have seen them, sad arner sody.
I can assure you ths s a correct.
The most unmany aspect, accordng to
my feengs, went on the Amercan doctor,
s ths perpetua decepton of nnocent women
by a wd smuaton of nnocence. rom a-
most every house where ths great magnatve
dev has been, he has taken some poor gr
away wth hm some say he s got a hypnotc
eye wth hs other queer features, and that
they go ke automata. hat s become of a
those poor grs nobody knows. Murdered,
I dare say for we ve ots of nstances, besdes
ths one, of hs turnng hs hand to murder,
though none ever brought hm under the aw.
Anyhow, our most modern methods of research
can t fnd any trace of the wretched women.
It s when I thnk of them that I am rea
99
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f
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t
m
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h
.
e
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u

(
D
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C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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9
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U
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t
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d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


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:
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/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
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g
/
a
c
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e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
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g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
moved, Mss unt. And I ve reay nothng
ese to say ust now e cept what Dr. arner
has sad.
ute so, sad arner, wth a sme that
seemed mouded n marbe that we a have
to thank you very much for that teegram.
The tte Yankee scentst had been speak-
ng wth such evdent sncerty that one for-
got the trcks of hs voce and manner, the
fang eyeds, the rsng ntonaton, and the
posed fnger and thumb, whch were at other
tmes a tte comc. It was not so much that
he was ceverer than arner perhaps he was
not so cever, though he was more ceebrated.
ut he had what arner never had, a fresh
and unaffected serousness the great Amer-
can vrtue of smpcty. Rosamund kntted
her brows and ooked goomy towards the
darkenng house that contaned the dark
prodgy.
road dayght st endured but t had a-
ready changed from god to sver, and was
changng from sver to gray. The ong
pumy shadows of the one or two trees n the
garden faded more and more upon a dead
background of dusk. In the sharpest and
100
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f
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@
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a
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t
m
o
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.
e
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u

(
D
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m
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C
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e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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U
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d

S
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a
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s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
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z
e
d


/


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:
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w
.
h
a
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t
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o
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g
/
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s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
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u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
deepest shadow, whch was the entrance to
the house by the bg rench wndows, Rosa-
mund coud watch a hurred consutaton be-
tween Ingewood (who was st eft n charge
of the mysterous captve) and Dana, who
had moved to hs assstance from wthout.
After a few sentences and gestures they went
nsde, shuttng the gass doors upon the gar-
den and the garden seemed to grow grayer
st.
The Amercan genteman named Pym
seemed to be turnng and on the move n the
same drecton but before he started he spoke
to Rosamund, wth a fash of that gueess
tact whch redeemed much of hs chdsh
vanty, and wth somethng of that spontane-
ous poetry whch made t dffcut, pedantc
as he was, to ca hm a pedant.
I m vurry sorry, Mss unt, he sad, but
Dr. arner and I, as two qua-fed pract-
toners, had better take Mr. Smth away n
that cab, and the ess sad about t the better.
Don t you agtate yoursef, Mss unt.
You ve ust got to thnk that we re takng
away a monstrosty, somethng that oughtn t
to be at a. Somethng ke one of those gods
101
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.
e
d
u

(
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a
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C
o

e
g
e
)

o
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2
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a

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U
n

t
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d

S
t
a
t
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s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
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z
e
d


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w
.
h
a
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o
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g
/
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s
s
_
u
s
e
#
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o
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g

e
MANALI
n your rtannc Museum, a wngs, and
beards, and egs, and eyes, and no shape.
That s what Smth s, and you sha soon be
qut of hm.
e had aready taken a step towards the
house and arner was about to foow hm,
when the gass doors were opened agan and
Dana Duke came out wth more than her
usua quckness across the awn. er face
was aquver wth worry and e ctement, and
her dark earnest eyes f ed ony on the other
gr.
Rosamund, she cred n despar, what
sha I do wth her
th her cred Mss unt, wth a vo-
ent ump. O ord, he sn t a woman, too, s
he
No, no, no, sad Dr. Pym soothngy, as
f n common farness. A woman, no, reay,
he s not so bad as that.
I mean your frend Mary Gray, retorted
Dana wth equa tartness. hat on earth
am I to do wth her
ow can we te her about Smth, you
mean, answered Rosamund, her face at once
102
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t
m
o
u
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h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
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t
m
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t
h

C
o

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g
e
)

o
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2
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c

D
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m
a

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t
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e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
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s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


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:
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w
.
h
a
t
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t
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o
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g
/
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s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
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s
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o
o
g

e
MANALI
coudng and softenng. Yes, t w be
pretty panfu.
ut I have tod her, e poded Dana,
wth more than her congenta e asperaton.
I have tod her and she doesn t seem to mnd.
She st says she s gong away wth Smth n
that cab.
ut t s mpossbe e acuated Rosa-
mund. hy, Mary s reay regous.
She
She stopped n tme to reaze that Mary
Gray was comparatvey cose to her on the
awn. er quet companon had come down
very quety nto the garden, but dressed very
decsvey for trave. She had a neat but very
ancent bue-gray Tam o Shanter on her head,
and was pung some rather threadbare gray
goves on to her hands. Yet the two tnts
ftted e ceenty wth her heavy copper-co-
oured har the more e ceenty for the touch
of shabbness: for a woman s cothes never
sut her so we as when they seem to sut her
by accdent.
ut n ths case the woman had a quaty yet
more unque and attractve. In such gray
103
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f
o
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@
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a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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c

D
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m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


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p
:
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/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
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t
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o
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g
/
a
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c
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s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
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s
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g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
hours, when the sun s sunk and the skes are
aready sad, t w often happen that one re-
fecton at some occasona ange w cause to
nger the ast of the ght. A scrap of wn-
dow, a scrap of water, a scrap of ookng-
gass, w be fu of the fre that s ost to a
the rest of the earth. The quant, amost tr-
anguar face of Mary Gray was ke some
tranguar pece of mrror that coud st re-
peat the spendour of hours before. Mary,
though she was aways gracefu, coud never
have propery been caed beautfu and yet
her happness amd a that msery was so
beautfu as to make a man catch hs breath.
O Dana, cred Rosamund n a ower
voce and aterng her phrase but how dd
you te her
It s qute easy to te her, answered
Dana sombrey t makes no mpresson at
a.
I m afrad I ve kept everythng watng,
sad Mary Gray apoogetcay, and now we
must reay say good-bye. Innocent s takng
me to hs aunt s over at ampstead, and I m
afrad she goes to bed eary.
er words were qute casua and practca,
104
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m
o
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h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
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t
m
o
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t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
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2
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c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


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w
.
h
a
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t
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/
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s
s
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#
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e
MANALI
but there was a sort of seepy ght n her eyes
that was more baffng than darkness she was
ke one speakng absenty wth her eye on
some very dstant ob ect.
Mary, Mary, cred Rosamund, amost
breakng down I m so sorry about t, but
the thng can t be at a. e we have found
out a about Mr. Smth.
A repeated Mary, wth a ow and cur-
ous ntonaton why, that must be awfuy
e ctng.
There was no nose for an nstant and no
moton e cept that the sent Mchae Moon,
eanng on the gate, fted hs head, as t mght
be to sten. Then Rosamund remanng
speechess, Dr. Pym came to her rescue n hs
defnte way.
To begn wth, he sad, ths man
Smth s constanty attemptng murder. The
arden of rakespeare Coege
I know, sad Mary, wth a vague but
radant sme Innocent tod me.
I can t say what he tod you, reped Pym
qucky, but I m very much afrad t wasn t
true. The pan truth s that the man s staned
wth every known human crme. I assure
10
G
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f
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b
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@
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a
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t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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MANALI
you, I have a the documents. I have ev-
dence of hs commttng burgary, sgned by a
most emnent ngsh curate. I have
Oh, but there were two curates, cred
Mary, wth a certan gente eagerness, that
was what made t so much funner.
The darkened gass doors of the house
opened once more and Ingewood appeared
for an nstant, makng a sort of sgna. The
Amercan doctor bowed, the ngsh doctor
dd not, but they both set out stody towards
the house. No one ese moved, not even
Mchae hangng on the gate but the back of
hs head and shouders had st an ndescrb-
abe ndcaton that he was stenng to every
word.
ut don t you understand, Mary, cred
Rosamund n despar don t you know that
awfu thngs have happened even before our
very eyes. I shoud have thought you woud
have heard the revover shots upstars.
Yes, I heard the shots, sad Mary amost
brghty but I was busy packng ust then.
And Innocent had tod me he was gong to
shoot at Dr. arner so t wasn t worth whe
to come down.
106
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MANALI
Oh, I don t understand what you mean,
cred Rosamund unt, stampng, but you
must and sha understand what I mean. I
don t care how cruey I put t, f ony I can
save you. I mean that your Innocent Smth
s the most awfuy wcked man n the word.
e has sent buets at ots of other men and
gone off n cabs wth ots of other women.
And he seems to have ked the women, too,
for nobody can fnd them.
e s reay rather naughty sometmes,
sad Mary Gray, aughng softy as she but-
toned her od gray goves.
Oh, ths s reay mesmersm, or some-
thng, sad Rosamund, and burst nto tears.
At the same moment the two back-cad
doctors appeared out of the house wth ther
great green-cad captve between them. e
made no resstance, but was st aughng n
a groggy and haf-wtted stye. Arthur Inge-
wood foowed n the rear, a dark and red
study n the ast shades of dstress and shame.
In ths back, funerea, and panfuy reastc
stye the e t from eacon ouse was made
by the man whose entrance a day before had
been effected by the happy eapng of a wa
107
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MANALI
and the harous cmbng of a tree. No one
moved of the groups n the garden e cept
Mary Gray, who stepped forward qute natu-
ray, cang out, Are you ready, Innocent
Our cab s been watng such a ong tme.
Lades and gentemen, sad Dr. arner
frmy, I must nsst on askng ths ady to
stand asde. e sha have troube enough as
t s, wth the three of us n a cab.
ut t s our cab, perssted Mary.
hy, there s Innocent s yeow bag on the
top of t.
Stand asde, repeated arner roughy.
And you, Mr. Moon, pease be so obgng
as to move a moment. Come, come the
sooner ths ugy busness s over the better
and how can we open the gate f you w keep
eanng on t
Mchae Moon ooked at hs ong kan fore-
fnger, and seemed to consder and reconsder
ths argument. Yes, he sad at ast but
how can I ean on ths gate f you keep on
openng t
Oh, get out of the way cred arner,
amost good-humouredy. You can ean on
the gate any tme.
108
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MANALI
No, sad Moon refectvey. Sedom the
tme and the pace and the od gate atogether
and t a depends whether you come of an od
country famy. My ancestors eaned on gates
before any one had dscovered how to open
them.
Mchae cred Arthur Ingewood n a
knd of agony, are you gong to get out of
the way
hy, no I thnk not, sad Mchae, after
some medtaton, and swung hmsef sowy
round, so that he confronted the company,
whe st, n a oungng atttude, occupyng
the path.
uo he caed out suddeny what are
you dong to Mr. Smth
Takng hm away, answered arner
shorty, to be e amned.
Matrcuaton asked Moon brghty.
y a magstrate, sad the other curty.
And what other magstrate, cred
Mchae, rasng hs voce, dares to try what
befe on ths free so, save ony the ancent
and ndependent dukes of eacon hat
other court dares to try one of our company,
save ony the gh Court of eacon ave
109
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MANALI
you forgotten that ony ths afternoon we few
the fag of ndependence and severed ourseves
from a the natons of the earth
Mchae, cred Rosamund, wrngng her
hands, how can you stand there takng non-
sense hy, you saw the dreadfu thng
yoursef. You were there when he went mad.
It was you that heped the doctor up when he
fe over the fowerpot.
And the gh Court of eacon, reped
Moon wth hauteur, has speca powers n
a cases concernng unatcs, fowerpots, and
doctors who fa down n gardens. It s n our
very frst charter from dward I: S med-
cus qusquam n horto prostratus
Out of the way cred arner wth
sudden fury, or we w force you out
of t.
hat cred Mchae Moon, wth a cry
of harous ferceness. Sha I de n de-
fence of ths sacred pae you pant
these bue rangs red wth my gore and he
ad hod of one of the bue spkes behnd hm.
As Arthur Ingewood had notced earer n
the evenng, the rang was oose and crooked
at ths pace, and the panted ron staff and
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MANALI
spear-head came away n Mchae s hand as
he shook t.
See he cred, brandshng ths broken
aven n the ar, the very ances round
eacon Tower eap from ther paces to de-
fend t. Ah, n such a pace and hour t s
a fne thng to de aone And n a voce
ke a drum he roed the nobe nes of Ron-
sard
Ou pour 1 honneur de Deu, ou pour e drot de mon
prnce,
Navre, potrne ouverte, au bord de mon provnce.
Sakes ave sad the Amercan gente-
man, amost n an awed tone. Then he added,
Are there two manacs here
No there are fve, thundered Moon.
Smth and I are the ony sane peope eft.
Mchae cred Rosamund Mchae,
what does t mean
It means bosh roared Mchae, and
sung hs panted spear hurtng to the other
end of the garden. It means that doctors
are bosh, and crmnoogy s bosh, and Amer-
cans are bosh much more bosh than our
Court of eacon. It means, you fat-heads,
n
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MANALI
that Innocent Smth s no more mad or bad
than the brd on that tree.
ut, my dear Moon, began Ingewood
n hs modest manner, these gentemen
On the word of two doctors, e poded
Moon agan, wthout stenng to anybody
ese, shut up n a prvate he on the word
of two doctors And such doctors Oh, my
hat Look at em do ust ook at em
oud you read a book, or buy a dog, or go
to a hote on the advce of twenty such My
peope came from Ireand, and were Catho-
cs. hat woud you say f I caed a man
wcked on the word of two prests
ut t sn t ony ther word, Mchae,
reasoned Rosamund they ve got evdence
too.
ave you ooked at t asked Moon.
No, sad Rosamund, wth a sort of fant
surprse these gentemen are n charge of t.
And of everythng ese, t seems to me,
sad Mchae. hy, you haven t even had
the decency to consut Mrs. Duke.
Oh, that s no use, sad Dana n an under-
tone to Rosamund aunte coudn t say o
to a goose.
112
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MANALI
I am gad to hear t, answered Mchae,
for wth such a fock of geese to say t to, the
horrd e petve mght be constanty on her
ps. or my part, I smpy refuse to et
thngs be done n ths ght and ary stye. I
appea to Mrs. Duke t s her house.
Mrs. Duke repeated Ingewood doubt-
fuy.
Yes, Mrs. Duke, sad Mchae frmy,
commony caed the Iron Duke.
If you ask aunte, sad Dana quety,
she ony be for dong nothng at a. er
ony dea s to hush thngs up or to et thngs
sde. That ust suts her.
Yes, reped Mchae Moon and, as t
happens, t ust suts a of us. You are m-
patent wth your eders, Mss Duke but
when you are as od yoursef you w know
what Napoeon knew that haf one s etters
answer themseves f you can ony refran from
the feshy appette of answerng them.
e was st oungng n the same absurd
atttude, wth hs ebow on the gate, but hs
voce had atered abrupty for the thrd tme
ust as t had changed from the mock heroc
to the humany ndgnant, t now changed to
8 113
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MANALI
the ary ncsveness of a awyer gvng good
ega advce.
It sn t ony your aunt who wants to keep
ths quet f she can, he sad we a want
to keep t quet f we can. Look at the arge
facts the bg bones of the case. I beeve
these scentfc gentemen have made a hghy
scentfc mstake. I beeve Smth s as
bameess as a buttercup. I admt buttercups
don t often et off oaded pstos n prvate
houses I admt there s somethng demandng
e panaton. ut I am moray certan
there s some bunder, or some oke, or some
aegory, or some accdent behnd a ths.
e, suppose I m wrong. e ve dsarmed
hm we re fve men to hod hm he may as
we go to a ock-up ater on as now. ut
suppose there s even a chance of my beng
rght. Is t anybody s nterest here to wash
ths nen n pubc
Come, I take each of you n order.
Once take Smth outsde that gate, and you
take hm nto the front page of the evenng
papers. I know I ve wrtten the front page
mysef. Mss Duke, do you or your aunt
want a sort of notce stuck up over your board-
114
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MANALI
ng-house Doctors shot here No, no
doctors are rubbsh, as I sad but you don t
want the rubbsh shot here. Arthur, suppose
I am rght, or suppose I am wrong. Smth
has appeared as an od schoofeow of yours.
Mark my words, f he s proved guty, the
Organs of Pubc Opnon w say you ntro-
duced hm. If he s proved nnocent, they
w say you heped to coar hm. Rosa-
mund, my dear, suppose I am rght or wrong.
If he s proved guty, they say you engaged
your companon to hm. If he s proved nno-
cent, they prnt that teegram. I know the
Organs, damn them.
e stopped an nstant for ths rapd ra-
tonasm eft hm more breathess than had
ether hs theatrca or hs rea denuncaton.
ut he was pany n earnest, as we as pos-
tve and ucd as was proved by hs proceed-
ng qucky the moment he had found hs
breath.
It s ust the same, he cred, wth our
medca frends. You w say that Dr.
arner has a grevance. I agree. ut does
he want specay to be snapshotted by a the
ournasts prostratus n horto It was no
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MANAL
faut of hs, but the scene was not very dgn-
fed even for hm. e must have ustce but
does he want to ask for ustce, not ony on hs
knees but on hs hands and knees Does he
want to enter the court of ustce on a fours
Doctors are not aowed to advertse and I m
sure no doctor wants to advertse hmsef as
ookng ke that. And even for our Amercan
guest, the nterest s the same. Let us suppose
that he has concusve documents. Let us as-
sume that he has reveatons reay worth read-
ng. e, n a ega nqury (or a medca
nqury, on that matter) ten to one he won t
be aowed to read them. e be trpped
up every two or three mnutes wth some
tange of od rues. A man can t te the
truth n pubc nowadays. ut he can st
te t n prvate he can te t nsde that
house.
It s qute true, sad Dr. Cyrus Pym, who
had stened throughout the speech wth a
serousness whch ony an Amercan coud
have retaned through such a scene. It s
qute true that I have been perceptby ess
hampered n prvate nqures.
Dr. Pym cred arner n a sort of sud-
116
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MANALI
den anger. Dr. Pym you aren t surey gong
to admt
Smth may be mad, went on the mean-
choy Moon n a monoogue that seemed as
heavy as a hatchet, but there was somethng
after a n what he sad about ome Rue for
every home. Yes, there s somethng, when
a s sad and done, n the gh Court of
eacon. It s reay true that human bengs
mght often get some sort of domestc ustce
where ust now they can ony get ega n us-
tce oh, I am a awyer, too, and I know that
as we. It s true that there s too much off-
ca and ndrect power. Often and often the
thng a whoe naton can t sette s ust the
thng a famy coud sette. Scores of young
crmnas have been fned and sent to a when
they ought to have been thrashed and sent to
bed. Scores of men, I am sure have had a
fetme at anwe when they ony wanted a
week at rghton. There s somethng n
Smth s noton of domestc sef-government
and I propose that we put t n practce. You
have the prsoner, you have the documents.
Come, we are a company of free, whte, Chrs-
tan peope, such as mght be beseged n a
117
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MANALI
town or cast up on a desert sand. Let us do
ths thng ourseves. Let us go nto that house
there and st down and fnd out wth our own
eyes and ears whether ths thng s true or not
whether ths Smth s a man or a monster. If
we can t do a tte thng ke that, what rght
have we to put crosses on baot papers
Ingewood and Pym e changed a gance
and arner, who was no foo, saw n that
gance that Moon was ganng ground. The
motves that ed Arthur to thnk of surrender
were ndeed very dfferent from those whch
affected Dr. Cyrus Pym. A Arthur s n-
stncts were on the sde of prvacy and a pote
settement he was very ngsh and woud
often endure wrongs rather than rght them by
scenes and serous rhetorc. To pay at once
the buffoon and the knght-errant, ke hs
Irsh frend, woud have been absoute torture
to hm but even the sem-offca part he had
payed that afternoon was very panfu. e
was not key to be reuctant any one coud
convnce hm that hs duty was to et seepng
dogs e.
On the other hand, Cyrus Pym beonged to
a country n whch thngs are possbe that
118
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MAN ALI
seem crazy to the ngsh. Reguatons and
authortes e acty ke one of Innocent s
pranks or one of Mchae s satres reay e st,
propped by pacd pocemen and mposed on
bustng busness men. Pym knew whoe
states whch are vast and yet secret and fanc-
fu each s as bg as a naton yet as prvate
as a ost vage, and as une pected as an
appe-pe bed. States where no man may
have a cgarette, states where any man may
have ten wves, very strct prohbton states,
very a dvorce states, a these arge oca
vagares had prepared Cyrus Pym s mnd for
sma oca vagares n a smaer country. In-
fntey more remote from ngand than any
Russan or Itaan, uttery ncapabe even of
concevng what ngsh conventons are, he
coud not see the soca mpossbty of the
Court of eacon. It s frmy beeved by
those who shared the e perment, that to the
very end Pym beeved n that fantasma
court and beeved t to be some rtannc
nsttuton.
Towards the synod thus somewhat at a
standst there approached through the grow-
ng haze and goamng a short dark fgure
119
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MANALI
wth a wak apparenty founded on the m-
perfect represson of a negro breakdown
somethng at once n the famarty and the
ncongruty of ths beng moved Mchae to
even hearter outbursts of a heathy and hu-
mane fppancy.
hy, here s tte Nosey Goud, he e -
camed. Isn t the mere sght of hm enough
to bansh a your morbd refectons
Reay, reped Dr. arner, I reay fa
to see how Mr. Goud affects the queston
and I once more demand
eo what s the funera, gents n-
qured the newcomer wth the ar of
an uproarous umpre. Doctor demandn
somethng Aways the way at a boardng-
house, you know. Aways ots of demand.
No suppy.
As decatey and mpartay as he coud,
Mchae restated hs poston, and ndcated
generay that Smth had been guty of cer-
tan dangerous and dubous acts and that there
had even arsen an aegaton that he was
nsane.
e, of course he s, sad Moses Goud
equaby t don t need od Omes to see that.
120
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MANALI
The awk-ke face of Omes, he added wth
abstract resh, showed a shde of dsappont-
ment, the seuth-ke Goud avn got there
before m.
If he s mad, began Ingewood.
e, sad Moses, when a cove gets out
on the tes the frst nght, there s generay a
te oose.
You never ob ected before, sad Dana
Duke rather stffy, and you re generay
pretty free wth your compants.
I don t compne of hm, sad Moses mag-
nanmousy, the poor chap s armess enough
you mght te m up n the garden here and
e d make noses at the bugars.
Moses, sad Moon wth soemn fervour.
You are the ncarnaton of Common Sense.
You thnk Mr. Innocent s mad. Let me n-
troduce you to the ncarnaton of Scentfc
Theory. e aso thnks Mr. Innocent s mad.
Doctor, ths s my frend Mr. Goud. Moses,
ths s the ceebrated Dr. Cyrus Pym. The
ceebrated Dr. Cyrus Pym cosed hs eyes and
bowed. e aso murmured hs natona war-
cry n a ow voce, whch sounded ke,
Peased to meet you.
121
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MAN ALI
Now you two peope, sad Mchae cheer-
fuy, who both thnk our poor frend mad,
sha oy we go nto that house over there
and prove hm mad. hat coud be more
powerfu than the combnaton of Scentfc
Theory wth Common Sense. Unted you
stand dvded you fa. I w not be so un-
cv as to suggest that Dr. Pym has no com-
mon sense I confne mysef to recordng the
chronoogca accdent that he has not shown
us any so far. I take the freedom of an od
frend n stakng my shrt that Moses has no
scentfc theory. Yet aganst ths strong
coaton I am ready to appear armed wth
nothng but an ntuton whch s Amercan
for a guess.
Dstngushed by Mr. Goud s assstance,
sad Pym, openng hs eyes suddeny. I
gather that though he and I are dentca n
prmary d-agnoss there s yet between us
somethng that cannot be caed a dsagree-
ment, somethng whch we may perhaps ca
a e put the ponts of thumb and fore-
fnger together, spreadng the other fngers
e qustey n the ar, and seemed to be wat-
ng for somebody ese to te hm what to say.
122
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MANALI
Catchn fes nqured the affabe
Moses.
A dvergence, sad Dr. Pym, wth a
refned sgh of reef a dvergence. Granted
that the man n queston s deranged, he woud
not necessary be a that scence requres n a
homcda manac
as t occurred to you, observed Moon,
who was eanng on the gate agan, and dd not
turn round, that f he were a homcda man-
ac he mght have ked us a here whe we
were takng.
Somethng e poded senty underneath a
ther mnds, ke seaed dynamte n some for-
gotten cears. They a remembered for the
frst tme for some hour or two that the mon-
ster of whom they were takng was standng
qute senty among them. They had fet
hm n the garden ke a garden statue there
mght have been a dophn cong round hs
egs, or a fountan pourng out of hs mouth,
for a the notce they had taken of Innocent
Smth. e stood wth hs crest of bonde,
bown har thrust somewhat forward, hs fresh-
cooured, rather short-sghted face ookng pa-
tenty downwards at nothng n partcuar, hs
123
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c

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MANALI
huge shouders humped, and hs hands n hs
trousers pockets. So far as they coud guess
he had not moved at a. s green coat
mght have been cut out of the green turf on
whch he stood. In hs shadow Pym had e -
pounded and Rosamund e postuated M-
chae had ranted and Moses had ragged. e
had remaned ke a thng graven the god of
the garden. A sparrow had perched on one
of hs heavy shouders and then, after correct-
ng ts costume of feathers, had fown away.
hy, cred Mchae, wth a shout of
aughter, the Court of eacon has opened
and shut up agan, too. You a know now I
am rght. Your bured common sense has
tod you ust what my bured common sense has
tod me. Smth mght have fred off a hun-
dred cannons nstead of a psto, and you woud
st know he was harmess as I know he s
harmess. ack we a go to the house and
cear a room for nqury. or the gh
Court of eacon, whch has aready arrved at
ts decson, s ust about to begn ts nqury.
|ust a gon to begn cred tte Mr.
Moses n an e traordnary sort of dsnterested
124
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MANALI
e ctement, ke that of an anma durng
musc or a thunderstorm. oow on to the
Igh Court of ggs and acon ave a kpper
from the od frm Is Lordshp comp-
mented Mr. Goud on the gh professona
decacy e had shown, and whch was worthy
of the best tradtons of the Saoon ar and
three of Scotch hot, mss Oh, chase me,
grs
The grs betrayng no temptaton to chase
hm, he went away n a sort of waddng
dance of pure e ctement and had made a cr-
cut of the garden before he reappeared breath-
ess, but st beamng. Moon had known hs
man when he reazed that no peope presented
to Moses Goud coud be qute serous, even f
they were qute furous. The gass doors
stood open on the sde nearest to Mr. Moses
Goud and as the feet of that festve dot
were evdenty turned n the same drecton,
everybody ese went that way wth the una-
nmty of some uproarous processon. Ony
Dana Duke retaned enough rgdty to say
the thng that had been bong at her ferce
femnne ps for the ast few hours. Under
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MANALI
the shadow of tragedy she had kept t back as
unsympathetc. In that case, she sad
sharpy, these cabs can be sent away.
e, Innocent must have hs bag, you
know, sad Mary wth a sme. I dare say
the cabman woud get t down for us.
I get the bag, sad Smth, speakng for
the frst tme for hours hs voce sounded re-
mote and rude, ke the voce of a statue.
Those who had so ong danced and dsputed
round hs mmobty were eft breathess by
hs precptance. th a run and sprng he
was out of the garden nto the street wth a
sprng and one quverng kck he was actuay
on the roof of the cab. The cabman happened
to be standng by the horse s head, havng ust
removed ts empted nose-bag. Smth seemed
for an nstant to be rong about on the cab s
back n the embraces of hs own Gadstone
bag. The ne t nstant, however, he had
roed, as f by a roya uck, nto the hgh seat
behnd, and wth a shrek of percng and ap-
pang suddenness, had sent the horse fyng
and scamperng far away down the street.
s evanescence was so voent and swft
that ths tme t was a the other peope who
126
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MANALI
were turned nto garden statues. Mr. Moses
Goud, however, beng -adapted both physc-
ay and moray for the purposes of perma-
nent scupture, came to fe sometme before
the rest, and, turnng to Moon, remarked, ke
a man startng chatty wth a stranger on an
omnbus, Te oose, eh Cab oose any-
how. There foowed a fata sence and
then Dr. arner sad, wth a sneer ke a cub
of stone,
Ths s what comes of the Court of eacon,
Mr. Moon. You have et oose a manac on
the whoe metropos.
eacon ouse stood, as has been sad, at the
end of a ong crescent of contnuous houses.
The tte garden that shut t n ran out nto a
sharp pont ke a green cape pushed out nto
the sea of two streets. Smth and hs cab shot
up one sde of the trange, and certany most
of those standng nsde t never e pected to
see hm agan. At the ape , however, he
turned the horse sharpy round and drove wth
equa voence up the other sde of the garden,
vsbe to a the group. th a common m-
puse the tte crowd ran across the awn as
f to stop hm, but they soon had reason to duck
127
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MANALI
and reco. ven as he vanshed up street for
the second tme, he et the bg yeow bag fy
from hs hand, so that t fe n the centre of
the garden, scatterng the company ke a
bomb, and neary damagng Dr. arner s hat
for the thrd tme. Long before they had co-
ected themseves, the cab had shot away wth
a shrek that went nto a whsper.
e, sad Mchae Moon, wth a very
queer note n hs voce, you may as we a go
nsde anyhow. It s gettng rather dark and
cod. e ve got two recs of Mr. Smth at
east hs fancee and hs trunk.
hy do you want us to go nsde asked
Arthur Ingewood, n whose red brow and
rough brown har botheraton seemed to have
reached ts mt.
I want the rest to go n, sad Mchae n a
cear voce, because I want the whoe of ths
garden n whch to tak to you.
There was an atmosphere of rratona
doubt t was reay gettng coder, and a nght
wnd had begun to wave the one or two trees
n the twght. Dr. arner, however, spoke
n a voce devod of ndecson.
I refuse to sten to any such proposa, he
128
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sad you have ost ths ruffan, and I must
fnd hm.
I don t ask you to sten to any proposa,
answered Moon quety, I ony ask you to
sten.
e made a sencng movement wth hs
hand, and mmedatey the whstng nose that
had been ost n the dark streets on one sde
of the house coud be heard from qute a new
quarter on the other sde. Through the nght-
maze of streets the nose ncreased wth n-
credbe rapdty, and the ne t moment the fy-
ng hoofs and fashng whees had swept up
to the bue-raed gate at whch they orgnay
stood. Mr. Smth got down from hs perch
wth an ar of absent-mndedness, and comng
back nto the garden stood n the same n an
eephantne atttude, as before.
Get nsde get nsde cred Moon har-
ousy, wth the ar of one shoong a company
of cats. Come, come, be quck about t
Ddn t I te you I wanted to tak to Inge-
wood
ow they were a reay drven nto the
house agan t woud have been dffcut after-
wards to say. They had reached the pont of
9 129
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beng e hausted wth ncongrutes, as peope
at a farce are wth aughng, and the brsk
growth of the storm among the trees seemed
ke a fna gesture of thngs n genera.
Ingewood ngered behnd them, sayng wth
a certan amcabe e asperaton, I say, do you
reay want to speak to me
I do, sad Mchae, very much.
Nght had come as t generay does, qucker
than the twght had seemed to promse.
he the human eye st fet the sky as ght
gray, a very arge and ustrous moon appearng
abrupty above a buk of roofs and trees,
proved by contrast that the sky was aready a
very dark gray ndeed. A drft of barren
eaves across the awn, a drft of rven couds
across the sky, seemed to be fted on the same
strong and yet aborous wnd.
Arthur, sad Mchae, I began wth an
ntuton but now I am sure. You and I are
gong to defend ths frend of yours before the
bessed Court of eacon, and to cear hm, too
cear hm both of crme and unacy. |ust
sten to me whe I preach to you for a bt.
They waked up and down the darkenng
garden together as Mchae Moon went on.
130
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MANALI
Can you, asked Mchae, shut your eyes
and see some of those queer od herogyphcs
they stuck up on whte was n the od hot
countres. ow stff they were n shape and
yet how gaudy n coour. Thnk of some
aphabet of arbtrary fgures pcked out n
back and red, or whte and green, wth some
od Semtc crowd of Nosey Goud s ancestors
starng at t, and try to thnk why the peope
put t up at a.
Ingewood s frst nstnct was to thnk that
hs perpe ng frend had reay gone off hs
head at ast there seemed so reckess a fght of
rreevancy from the tropc-pctured was he
was asked to magne to the gray, wndswept,
and somewhat chy suburban garden n
whch he was actuay kckng hs hees. ow
he coud be more happy n one by magnng
the other he coud not conceve. oth (n
themseves) were unpeasant.
hy does everybody repeat rddes went
on Moon abrupty even f they ve forgotten
the answers. Rddes are easy to remember
because they are hard to guess. So were those
stff od symbos n back, red, or green easy
to remember because they had been hard to
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guess. Ther coours were pan. Ther
shapes were pan. verythng was pan e -
cept the meanng.
Ingewood was about to open hs mouth n
an amabe protest, but Moon went on, pun-
gng qucker and qucker up and down
the garden and smokng faster and faster.
Dances, too, he sad dances were not frvo-
ous. Dances were harder to understand than
nscrptons and te ts. The od dances were
stff, ceremona, hghy cooured but sent.
ave you notced anythng odd about Smth
e, reay, cred Ingewood, eft behnd
n a coapse of humour, have I notced any-
thng ese about hm
ave you notced ths about hm, asked
Moon, wth unshaken persstency, that he has
done so much and sad so very tte hen
frst he came he taked, but n a gaspng r-
reguar sort of way, as f he wasn t used to t.
A he reay dd was actons pantng red
fowers on back gowns or throwng yeow
bags on to the grass. I te you that bg green
fgure s fguratve ke any green fgure ca-
perng on some whte astern wa.
My dear Mchae, cred Ingewood, n a
132
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MANALI
rsng rrtaton whch ncreased wth the rs-
ng wnd, you are gettng absurdy fancfu.
I thnk of what has ust happened, sad
Mchae steady. The man has not spoken
for hours and yet he has been speakng a the
tme. e fred three shots from a s -shooter
and then gave t up to us, when he mght have
shot us dead n our boots. ow coud he e -
press hs trust n us better than that e
wanted to be tred by us. ow coud he have
shown t better than by standng qute st and
ettng us dscuss t e wanted to show that
he stood there wngy, and coud escape f
he ked. ow coud he have shown t better
than by escapng n the cab and comng back
agan Innocent Smth s not a madman he
s a rtuast. e wants to e press hmsef, not
wth hs tongue, but wth hs arms and egs
wth my body I thee worshp, as t says n the
marrage servce. I begn to understand the
od pays and pageants. I see why the mutes
at a funera were mute. I see why the mum-
mers were mum. They meant somethng and
Smth means somethng, too. A other okes
have to be nosy ke tte Nosey Goud s
okes, for nstance. The ony sent okes are
133
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MANALI
the practca okes. Poor Smth, propery
consdered, s an aegorca practca oker.
hat he has reay done n ths house has been
as frantc as a war-dance, but as sent as a
pcture.
I suppose you mean, sad the other dub-
ousy, that we have got to fnd out what a
these crmes meant, as f they were so many
cooured pcture-puzzes. ut even suppos-
ng that they do mean somethng why, Lord
bess my sou
Takng the turn of the garden qute natu-
ray he had fted hs eyes to the moon, by ths
tme rsen bg and umnous, and had seen a
huge, haf-human fgure sttng on the garden
wa. It was outned so sharpy aganst the
moon that for the frst fash t was hard to be
certan even that t was human: the hunched
shouders and outstandng har had rather the
ar of a coossa cat. It resembed a cat aso n
the fact that when frst started t sprang up
and ran wth easy actvty aong the top of the
wa. As t ran, however, ts heavy shouders
and sma stoopng head rather suggested a
baboon. The nstant t came wthn reach of a
tree t made an ape-ke eap and was ost n the
134
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MANALI
branches. The gae, whch by ths tme was
shakng every shrub n the garden, made the
dentfcaton yet more dffcut, snce t meted
the movng mbs of the fugtve n the mut-
tudnous movng mbs of the tree.
ho s there shouted Arthur. ho
are you Are you Innocent
Not qute, answered an obscure voce
among the eaves. I cheated you once about
a penknfe.
The wnd n the garden had gathered
strength, and was throwng the tree backwards
and forwards wth the man n the thck of t,
ust as t had on the gay and goden afternoon
when he had frst arrved.
ut are you Smth asked Ingewood, as
n an agony.
ery neary, sad the voce out of the toss-
ng tree.
ut you must have some rea names,
shreked Ingewood n despar. You must
ca yoursef somethng.
Ca mysef somethng, thundered the ob-
scure, shakng the tree so that a ts ten hun-
dred eaves seemed to be takng at once. I
ca mysef Roand Over Isah Charemagne
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MANALI
Arthur debrand omer Danton Mchae
Angeo Shakespeare rakespeare
ut, manave began Ingewood n e -
asperaton.
That s rght that s rght came wth a roar
out of the rockng tree that s my rea name.
And he broke a branch, and one or two autumn
eaves futtered away across the moon.
136
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e
PART II
T PLANATIONS O
INNOC NT SMIT
C APT R I
T Y O D AT OR, T MURD R
C ARG
T dnng-room of the Dukes had been
set out for the Court of eacon wth a
certan mpromptu pomposty, that seemed
somehow to ncrease ts cosness. The bg
room was, as t were, cut up nto sma rooms,
wth was ony wast hgh, the sort of separa-
tons that chdren make when they are payng
at shops. Ths had been done by Moses Goud
and Mchae Moon (the two most actve mem-
bers of ths remarkabe nqury) wth the
ordnary furnture of the pace. At one end
of the ong mahogany tabe was set the one
enormous garden char, whch was sur-
137
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MANALI
mounted by the od torn tent or umbrea whch
Smth hmsef had suggested as a coronaton
canopy. Insde ths erecton coud be per-
ceved the dumpy form of Mrs. Duke,
wth cushons and a form of countenance
that aready threatened sumber. At the
other end sat the accused Smth, n a knd
of dock for he was carefuy fenced n wth
a quadratera of ght bedroom chars, any
of whch he coud have tossed out of the
wndow wth hs bg toe. e had been pro-
vded wth pens and paper, out of the atter
of whch he made paper boats, paper darts,
and paper dos contentedy through the whoe
proceedngs. e never spoke or even ooked
up, but seemed as unconscous as a chd on the
foor of an empty nursery.
On a row of chars, rased hgh on the top of
a ong settee, sat the three young ades wth
ther backs up aganst the wndow, and Mary
Gray n the mdde t was somethng between
a ury bo and the sta of the ueen of eauty
at a tournament. Down the centre of the ong
tabe, Moon had but a ow barrer out of
eght bound voumes of Good ords to e -
press the mora wa that dvded the confct-
138
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MANALI
ng partes. On the rght sde sat the two
advocates of the prosecuton, Dr. Pym and Mr.
Goud, behnd a barrcade of books and docu-
ments, chefy (n the case of Dr. Pym) sod
voumes of crmnoogy. On the other sde,
Moon and Ingewood, for the defence, were
aso fortfed wth books and papers, but as
these ncuded severa od yeow voumes by
Ouda and ke Cons, the hand of Mr.
Moon seemed to have been somewhat careess
and comprehensve. As for the vctm and
prosecutor, Dr. arner, Moon wanted at frst
to have hm kept entrey behnd a hgh screen
n the corner, urgng the ndecacy of hs ap-
pearance n court, but prvatey assurng hm
of an unoffca permsson to peep over the top
now and then. Dr. arner, however, faed
to rse to the chvary of such a course, and
after some tte dsturbance and dscusson,
he was accommodated wth a seat on the rght
sde of the tabe n a ne wth hs ega
advsers.
It was before ths sody estabshed trbuna
that Dr. Cyrus Pym, after passng a hand
through the honey-cooured har over each ear,
rose to open the case. s statement was cear
139
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MANALI
and even restraned, and such fghts of m-
agery as occurred n t ony attracted attenton
by a certan ndescrbabe abruptness, not un-
common n the fowers of Amercan speech.
e panted the ponts of hs ten fra fngers
on the mahogany, cosed hs eyes, and opened
hs mouth. The tme has gone by, he sad,
when murder coud be regarded as a mora
and ndvdua act, mportant perhaps to the
murderer, perhaps to the murdered. Scence
has profoundy . . . ere he paused,
posng hs compressed fnger and thumb n the
ar as f he were hodng an eusve dea very
tght by ts ta, then he screwed up hs eyes
and sad: modfed, and et t go has
profoundy modfed one vew of death. In
supersttous ages t was regarded as the term-
naton of fe, catastrophc, and even tragc,
and was often surrounded wth soemnty.
rghter days, however, have dawned, and we
now see death as unversa and nevtabe, as
part of that great sou strrng and heart up-
hodng average, whch we ca for conven-
ence, the order of nature. In the same way
we have come to consderabe murder socay.
Rsng above the mere prvate feengs of a
140
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MANALI
man whe beng forcby deprved of fe, we
are prveged to behod murder as a mghty
whoe, to see the rch rotaton of the cosmos,
brngng, as t brngs the goden harvests and
the goden-bearded harvesters, the return for
ever of the sayers and the san.
e ooked down, somewhat affected wth
hs own eoquence, coughed sghty, puttng
up four of hs ponted fngers wth the e ceent
manners of oston, and contnued, There s
but one resut of ths happer and humaner out-
ook whch concerns the wretched man before
us. It s that thoroughy eucdated by a
Mwaukee doctor, our great secret-guessng
Sonneuschen, n hs great work, The De-
structve Type. e do not denounce Smth
as a murderer, but rather as a murderous man.
The type s such that ts very fe I mght say
ts very heath s n kng. Some hod that
t s not propery an aberraton, but a newer
and even a hgher creature. My dear od
frend Dr. uger, who kept ferrets (here
Moon suddeny e acuated a oud hurrah
but so nstantaneousy resumed hs tragc e -
presson that Mrs. Duke ooked everywhere
ese for the orgn of the sound) Dr. Pym con-
141
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MANALI
tnued somewhat sterny who, n the nter-
ests of knowedge, kept ferrets, hed that the
creatures ferocty s not uttaran, but abso-
utey an end n tsef. owever ths may be
wth ferrets, t s certany so wth the prsoner.
In hs other nqutes you may fnd the cun-
nng of the manac but hs acts of bood have
amost the smpcty of santy. ut t s the
awfu santy of the sun and the eements a
crue, an ev santy. As soon stay the rs-
eapt cataracts of our vrgn est as stay the
natura force that sends hm forth to say.
No envronment, however scentfc, coud
have softened hm. Pace that man n the
sver-sent purty of the paest coster, and
there w be some deed of voence done wth
the crozer or the ab. Rear hm n a happy
nursery, amd the brave-browed Ango-
Sa on nfancy, and he w fnd some way to
strange wth the skppng-rope or to bran
wth the brck. Crcumstances may be
favourabe, tranng may be admrabe, hopes
may be hgh, but the huge eementa hunger
of Innocent Smth for bood w n ts ap-
ponted season burst ke a we-tmed bomb.
142
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MANALI
Arthur Ingewood ganced curousy for an
nstant at the huge creature at the foot of the
tabe, who was fttng a paper fgure wth a
paper cocked hat, and then ooked back at
Dr. Pym, who was concudng n a queter
tone.
It ony remans for us, he sad, to brng
forward actua evdence of hs prevous at-
tempts. y an agreement aready made wth
the Court and the eaders of the defence, we
are permtted to put n evdence authentc
etters from wtnesses to these scenes, whch
the defence s free to e amne. Out of
severa cases of such outrages we have de-
cded to seect one the cearest and most
scandaous. I w therefore, wthout further
deay, ca on my unor, Mr. Goud, to read
two etters one from the Sub- arden and
the other from the porter of rakespeare Co-
ege, n Cambrdge Unversty.
Goud umped up wth a erk ke a ack-
n-the-bo , an academc-ookng paper n hs
hand and a fever of mportance on hs face.
e began n a oud, hgh cockney voce that
was as abrupt as cock-crow,
3
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MANALI
SIR, am the Sub- arden of rke-
speare Coege, Cmbrdge
Lord have mercy on us, muttered Moon,
makng a backward movement as men do
when a gun goes off.
am the Sub- arden of rkespeare
Coege, Cmbrdge, procamed the uncom-
promsng Moses, and I can endorse the
descrpton you gve of the conduct of the un-
appy Smth. It was not aone my unfortu-
nate duty to rebuke many of the esser
voences of hs undergraduate perod, but I
was actuay a wtness to the ast nquty
whch termnated that perod. happened
to be passng under the house of my frend the
arden of rkespeare, whch s sem-de-
tached from the Coege and connected wth t
by two or three very ancent arches or props,
ke brdges across a sma strp of water con-
nected wth the rver. To my grve astonsh-
ment I be ed my emnent frend suspended n
md-ar and cngng to one of these peces of
masonry, hs appearance and atttude n-
dcatn that he suffered from the grvest ap-
144
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MANALI
prehensons. After a short tme I heard two
very oud shots, and dstncty perceved the
unfortunate undergraduate Smth eanng far
out of the arden s wndow and amng at
the arden repeatedy wth a revover.
Upon seeng me, Smth burst nto a oud augh
(n whch mpertnence was mnged wth n-
santy), and appeared to desst. I sent the
coege porter for a adder, and he succeeded
n detachng the arden from hs panfu po-
ston. Smth was sent down. The photo-
graph I encose s from the group of the Un-
versty Rfe Cub Przemen, and represents
hm as he was when at the Coege. am,
your obedent servant, AMOS OULT R.
The other etter, contnued Goud n a
gow of trumph, s from the porter, and
won t take ong to read,
D AR SIR, It s qute true that I am the
porter of rkespeare Coege, and that I
eped the arden down when the young man
was shootng at hm, as Mr. outer has sad n
hs etter. The young man who was shootng
was Mr. Smth, the same that s n the photo-
14
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MANALI
graph Mr. outer sends. Yours respect-
fuy,
SAMU L ARK R.
Goud handed the two etters across to
Moon, who e amned them. ut for the
voca dvergences n the matter of h s and a s,
the Sub- arden s etter was e acty as Goud
had rendered t and both that and the porter s
etter were pany genune. Moon handed
them to Ingewood, who handed them back n
sence to Moses Goud.
So far as ths frst charge of contnua at-
tempted murder s concerned, sad Dr. Pym,
standng up for the ast tme, that s my case.
Mchae Moon rose for the defence wth an
ar of depresson whch gave tte hope at the
outset to the sympathzers wth the prsoner.
e dd not, he sad, propose to foow the
doctor nto the abstract questons. I do not
know enough to be an agnostc, he sad rather
weary, and I can ony master the known and
admtted eements n such controverses. As
for scence and regon, the known and ad-
mtted facts are few and pan enough. A
that the parsons say s unproved. A that the
146
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MANALI
doctors say s dsproved. That s the ony df-
ference between scence and regon there s
ever been, or w be. Yet these new ds-
coveres touch me, somehow, he sad, ookng
down sorrowfuy at hs boots. They remnd
me of a dear od great-aunt of mne who used
to en oy them n her youth. It brngs tears
to my eyes. I can see the od bucket by the
garden fence and the ne of shmmerng pop-
ars behnd
here, stop the bus a bt, cred Mr.
Moses Goud, rsng n a sort of perspraton
we want to gve the defence a far run ke
gents, you know. ut any gent woud draw
the ne at shmmerng popars.
e, hang t a, sad Moon, n an n-
ured manner, f Dr. Pym may have an od
frend wth ferrets, why mayn t I have an od
aunt wth popars
I am sure, sad Mrs. Duke, brdng, wth
somethng amost ke a shaky authorty, Mr.
Moon may have what aunts he kes.
hy as to kng her, began Moon, I
but perhaps as you say she s scarcey the core
of the queston. I repeat that I do not mean
to foow the abstract specuatons. or n-
147
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MANALI
deed my answer to Dr. Pym s smpe and
severey concrete. Dr. Pym has ony treated
one sde of the psychoogy of murder. If t
be true that there s a knd of man who has a
natura tendency to murder, s t not equay
true here he owered hs voce and spoke
wth a crushng quetude and earnestness, s
t not equay true that there s a knd of man
who has a natura tendency to get murdered
Is t not at east a hypothess hodng the fed
that Dr. arner s such a man I do not
speak wthout the book, any more than my
earned frend. The whoe matter s e -
pounded n Dr. Mooneushen s monumenta
work, The Destructbe Doctor, wth d-
agrams showng the varous ways n whch
such a person as Dr. arner may be resoved
nto hs eements. In the ght of these
facts
, stop the bus stop the bus I cred
Moses, umpng up and gestcuatng n great
e ctement. My prncpa s got somethng
to say My prncpa wants to do a bt of
takn .
Dr. Pym was ndeed on hs feet ookng
pad and rather vcous. I have strcty
148
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MANALI
con-fned mysef, he sad nasay, to books
to whch mmedate reference can be made.
I have Sonneuschen s Destructve Type here
on the tabe, f the defence wsh to see t.
here s ths wonderfu work on Destruct-
bty Mr. Moon s takng about Does t
e st Can he produce t
Produce t cred the Irshman wth a
rch scorn. I produce t n a week f you
pay for the nk and paper.
oud t have much authorty asked
Pym, sttng down.
Oh, authorty sad Moon ghty, that
depends on a feow s regon.
Dr. Pym umped up agan. Our authorty
s based on masses of accurate deta, he sad.
It deas wth a regon n whch thngs can be
handed and tested. My opponent w at
east admt that death s a fact of e perence.
Not of mne, sad Moon mournfuy, shak-
ng hs head. I ve never e perenced such
a thng n my fe.
e, reay, sad Dr. Pym, and sat down
sharpy amd a cracke of papers.
So we see, resumed Moon, n the same
meanchoy voce, that a man ke Dr. arner
149
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MAN ALI
s, n the mysterous workngs of evouton,
doomed to such attacks. My Cent s on-
saught, even f t occurred, was not unque.
I have n my hand etters from more than one
acquantance of Dr. arner whom that re-
markabe man has affected n the same way.
oowng the e ampe of my earned frends
I w read ony two of them. The frst s
from an honest and aborous matron vng off
the arrow Road,
MR. MOON, SIR, Yes, I dd throw a
sorsepan at hm. ot then It was a I had
to throw, a the soft thngs beng porned, an
f your Doctor arner doesn t ke havng
sorsepans thrown at hm don t et hm were hs
hat n a respectbe woman s parer, and te
hm to eave orf smng or te us the oke.
Yours respectfuy, ANNA MIL S.
The other etter s from a physcan of some
note n Dubn, wth whom Dr. arner was
once engaged n consutaton. e wrtes as
foows,
D AR SIR, The ncdent to whch you
refer s one whch I regret, and whch, more-
1 0
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e
MANALI
over, I have never been abe to e pan. My
own branch of medcne s not menta and I
shoud be gad to have the vew of a menta
specast on my snguar momentary and n-
deed amost automatc acton. To say that I
pued Dr. arner s nose s, however, nac-
curate n a respect that strkes me as mportant.
That I punched hs nose I must cheerfuy
admt (I need not say wth what regret), but
pung seems to me to mpy a precson of
handng and an e acttude of ob ectve wth
whch I cannot reproach mysef n compar-
son wth ths, the act of punchng was an out-
ward, nstantaneous and even natura gesture.
eeve me, yours fathfuy,
URTON L STRANG .
I have numberess other etters, contnued
Moon, a bearng wtness to ths wdespread
feeng about my emnent frend and I there-
fore thnk that Dr. Pym shoud have admtted
ths sde of the queston nto hs survey. e
are n the presence, as Dr. Pym so truy says,
of a natura force. As soon stay the cataracts
of the London water-works as stay the great
tendency of Dr. arner to be assassnated by
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e
MANALI
somebody. Pace that man n a uakers meet-
ng, among the most peacefu of Chrstans,
and he w mmedatey be beaten to death
wth stcks of chocoate. Pace hm among
the anges of the New |erusaem, and he w
be stoned to death wth precous stones.
Crcumstances may be beautfu and wonder-
fu, the average may be heart-uphodng, the
harvester may be goden-bearded, the doctor
may be secret-guessng, the cataract may be
rs-eapt, the Ango-Sa on nfant may be
brave-browed, but aganst and above a these
prodges the grand smpe tendency of Dr.
arner to get murdered w st pursue ts
way unt t happy and trumphanty suc-
ceeds at ast.
e pronounced ths peroraton wth an ap-
pearance of strong emoton but even stronger
emotons were manfestng themseves on the
other sde of the tabe. Dr. arner had
eaned hs arge body qute across the tte
fgure of Moses Goud and was takng n e -
cted whspers to Dr. Pym. That e pert nod-
ded a great many tmes and fnay started to
hs feet wth a sncere e presson of sternness.
Lades and gentemen, he cred ndg-
1 2
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MANALI
nanty, as my coeague has sad, we shoud
be deghted to gve any attude to the defence
f there were a defence. ut Mr. Moon
seems to thnk he s there to make okes very
good okes I dare say, but not at a adapted to
assst hs cent. e pcks hoes n scence.
e pcks hoes n my cent s soca popuarty.
e pcks hoes n my terary stye, whch
doesn t seem to sut hs hgh-toned uropean
taste. ut how does ths pckng of hoes
effect the ssue Ths Smth has pcked two
hoes n my cent s hat and wth an nch
better am woud have pcked two hoes n hs
head. A the okes n the word won t un-
pck those hoes or be any use for the defence.
Ingewood ooked down n some embarrass-
ment as f shaken by the evdent farness of
ths, but Moon st gazed at hs opponent n
a dreamy way. The defence he sad
vaguey oh, I haven t begun that yet.
You certany have not, sad Pym warmy,
amd a murmur of appause from hs sde,
whch the other sde found t mpossbe to
answer. Perhaps, f you have any defence,
whch has been doubtfu from the very be-
gnnng
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MANALI
he you re standng up, sad Moon, n
the same amost seepy stye, perhaps I mght
ask you a queston.
A queston Certany, sad Pym stffy.
It was dstncty arranged between us that as
we coud not cross-e amne the wtnesses, we
mght vcarousy cross-e amne each other.
e are n a poston to nvte a such nqury.
I thnk you sad, observed Moon absenty,
that none of the prsoner s shots reay ht the
doctor.
or the cause of scence, cred the com-
pacent Pym, fortunatey not.
Yet they were fred from a few feet away.
Yes about four feet.
And no shots ht the arden, though they
were fred qute cose to hm, too asked
Moon.
That s so, sad the wtness gravey.
I thnk, sad Moon, suppressng a sght
yawn, that your Sub- arden mentoned that
Smth was one of the unversty record men
for shootng.
hy, as to that began Pym, after an
nstant of stness.
A second queston, contnued Moon com-
1 4
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#
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MANALI
paratvey curty. You sad there were other
cases of the accused tryng to k other peo-
pe. hy have you not got evdence of
them
The Amercan panted the ponts of hs fn-
gers on the tabe agan. In those cases, he
sad precsey, there was no evdence from
outsders, as n the Cambrdge case, but ony
the evdence of the actua vctms.
hy ddn t you get ther evdence
In the case of the actua vctms, sad
Pym, there was some dffcuty and reuc-
tance, and
Do you mean, asked Moon, that none of
the actua vctms woud appear aganst the
prsoner
That woud be e aggeratve, began the
other.
A thrd queston, sad Moon, so sharpy
that every one umped. You ve got the ev-
dence of the Sub- arden who heard some
shots. here s the evdence of the arden
hmsef who was shot at The arden of
rakespeare ves, a prosperous genteman.
e dd ask for a statement from hm, sad
Pym a tte nervousy but t was so eccen-
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trcay e pressed that we suppressed t out of
deference to an od genteman whose past serv-
ces to scence have been great.
Moon eaned forward. You mean, I sup-
pose, he sad, that hs statement was favour-
abe to the prsoner.
It mght be understood so, reped the
Amercan doctor but reay t was dffcut
to understand at a. In fact, we sent t back
to hm.
You have no onger, then, any statement
sgned by the arden of rakespeare.
No.
I ony ask, sad Mchae quety, be-
cause we have. To concude my case I w
ask my unor, Mr. Ingewood, to read a state-
ment of the true story, a statement attested as
true by the sgnature of the arden hmsef.
Arthur Ingewood rose wth severa papers
n hs hand, and though he ooked somewhat
refned and sef-effacng, as he aways dd, the
spectators were surprsed to fee that hs pres-
ence was upon the whoe more effcent and
suffcng than hs eader s. e was, n truth,
one of those modest men who cannot speak
unt they are tod to speak and then can
1 6
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MANALI
speak we. Moon was entrey the opposte.
s own mpudences amused hm n prvate,
but they sghty embarrassed hm n pubc
he fet a foo whe he was speakng, whereas
Ingewood fet a foo ony because he coud
not speak. The moment he had anythng to
say he coud speak and the moment he coud
speak, speakng seemed qute natura. Noth-
ng n ths unverse seemed qute natura to
Mchae Moon.
As my coeague has ust e paned, sad
Ingewood, there are two engmas or ncon-
sstences on whch we base the defence. The
frst s a pan physca fact. y the adms-
son of everybody, by the very evdence ad-
duced by the prosecuton, t s cear that the
accused was ceebrated as a specay good
shot. Yet on both the occasons companed
of, he shot at a man from about four or fve
feet and shot at hm four or fve tmes, and
never ht hm once. That s the frst startng
crcumstance on whch we base our argument.
The second, as my coeague has urged, s the
curous fact that we cannot fnd a snge vc-
tm of these aeged outrages to speak for hm-
sef. Subordnates speak for hm. Porters
1 7
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MANALI
cmb up adders to hm. ut he hmsef s
sent. Lades and gentemen, I propose to
e pan on the spot both the rdde of the shots
and the rdde of the sence. I w frst of
a read the coverng etter n whch the true
account of the Cambrdge ncdent s con-
taned, and then that document tsef. hen
you have heard both, there w be no doubt
about your decson. The coverng etter runs
as foows,
D AR SIR, The foowng s a very e act
and even vvd account of the ncdent as t
reay happened at rakespeare Coege. e,
the undersgned, do not see any partcuar rea-
son why we shoud refer t to any soated
authorshp. The truth s, t has been a com-
poste producton and we have even had some
dfference of opnon about the ad ectves.
ut every word of t s true, e are, yours
fathfuy,
IL R D M RSON AM S,
arden of rakespeare Coege, Cambrdge.
INNOC NT SMIT .
1 8
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MANALI
The encosed statement, contnued Inge-
wood, runs as foows,
A ceebrated ngsh unversty backs so
abrupty on the rver that t has, so to speak,
to be propped up and patched wth a sorts
of brdges and sem-detached budngs. The
rver tsef spts nto severa sma streams
and canas, so that n one or two corners the
pace has amost the ook of ence. It was
so, specay n the case wth whch we are
concerned, n whch a few fyng buttresses or
ary rbs of stone sprang across a strp of water
to connect rakespeare Coege wth the house
of the arden of rakespeare.
The country around these coeges s fat
but t does not seem fat when one s thus n
the mdst of the coeges. or n these fat
fens there are aways wanderng akes and n-
gerng rvers of water. And these aways
change what mght have been a scheme of hor-
zonta nes nto a scheme of vertca nes.
herever there s water, the heght of hgh
budngs s doubed, and a rtsh brck house
becomes a abyonan tower. In that shnng
1 9
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MANALI
unshaken surface the houses hang head down-
wards e acty to ther hghest or owest chm-
ney. The cora-cooured coud seen n that
abyss s as far beow the word as ts orgna
appears above t. very scrap of water s not
ony a wndow but a skyght. arth breaks
under men s feet nto precptous aera per-
spectves, nto whch a brd coud as easy
wng ts way as
Dr. Cyrus Pym rose n protest. The docu-
ments he had put n evdence had been con-
fned to cod affrmatons of fact. The de-
fence, n a genera way, had an ndubtabe
rght to put ther case n ther own way. ut
a ths andscape gardenng seemed to hm
(Dr. Cyrus Pym) to be not up to the busness.
the eader of the defence te me, he
asked, how t can possby affect ths case, that
a coud was cor -cooured, or that the rver
was unshaken and shny, or that a brd coud
have wnged tsef anywhere
Oh, I don t know, sad Mchae, ftng
hmsef azy you see, you don t know yet
what our defence s. T you know that,
don t you see, anythng may be reevant.
160
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MANALI
hy, suppose, he sad suddeny, as f an dea
had struck hm, suppose we wanted to prove
the od arden coour-bnd. Suppose he
was shot by a back man wth whte har, when
he thought he was beng shot by a whte man
wth yeow har. To ascertan f that coud
was reay and truy cora-cooured mght be
of the most massve mportance.
e paused wth a serousness whch was
hardy commony shared, and contnued wth
the same fuency. Or suppose we wanted to
mantan that the arden commtted sucde.
That he ust got Smth to hod the psto as
rutus s save hed the sword. hy, t woud
make a the dfference whether the arden
coud see hmsef pan n st water. St
water has made hundreds of sucdes. One
sees onesef so very we, so very pan.
Do you, perhaps, nqured Pym wth
austere rony, mantan that your cent was
a brd of some sort say, a famngo
In the matter of hs beng a famngo, sad
Moon wth sudden severty, my cent re-
serves hs defence.
No one qute knowng what to make of
161
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MANALI
ths, Mr. Moon resumed hs seat wth an ar
of great sternness, and Ingewood resumed the
readng of hs document.
There s somethng peasng to a mystc
n such a and of mrrors. or a mystc s
one who hods that two words are better than
one. In the hghest sense ndeed, a thought
s refecton.
Ths s the rea truth n the sayng that
second thoughts are best. Anmas have no
second thoughts man aone s abe to see hs
own thought doube, as a drunkard sees a
amp-post. Man aone s abe to see hs own
thought upsde down as one sees a house n
a pudde. Ths dupcaton of mentaty, as
n a mrror, s (we repeat) the nmost thng
of human phosophy. There s a mystca,
even a monstrous truth n the statement that
two heads are better than one. ut they
ought both to grow on the same body.
I know t s a tte transcendenta at frst,
nterposed Ingewood, beamng round wth a
broad apoogy, but you see ths document was
wrtten n coaboraton by a don and a
162
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Drunkard, eh suggested Moses Goud,
begnnng to en oy hmsef.
I rather thnk, proceeded Ingewood,
wth an unruffed and crtca ar, that ths
part was wrtten by the don. I merey warn
the court that the statement, though ndub-
taby accurate, bears here and there the trace
of comng from two authors.
In that case, sad Dr. Pym, eanng back
and snffng, I cannot agree wth them that
two heads are better than one.
The undersgned persons thnk t need-
ess to touch on a kndred probem so often
dscussed at commttees for unversty reform
the queston of whether dons see doube be-
cause they are drunk or get drunk because they
see doube. It s enough for them (the under-
sgned persons) f they are abe to pursue ther
own pecuar and proftabe theme whch s
puddes. hat (the undersgned persons
ask themseves) s a pudde A pudde re-
peats nfnty, and s fu of ght nevertheess,
f anayzed ob ectvey, a pudde s a pece of
drty water spread very thn on mud. The
two great hstorc unverstes of ngand have
163
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MANALI
a ths arge and eve and refectve br-
ance. They repeat nfnty. They are fu
of ght. Nevertheess, or rather on the other
hand, they are puddes. Puddes, puddes,
puddes, puddes. The undersgned persons
ask you to e cuse an emphass nseparabe
from strong convcton.
Ingewood gnored a somewhat wd e pres-
son on the faces of some present, and con-
tnued wth emnent cheerfuness.
Such were the thoughts that faed to
cross the mnd of the undergraduate Smth as
he pcked hs way among the strpes of cana
and the gtterng rany gutters, nto whch the
water broke up round the back of rakespeare
Coege. ad these thoughts crossed hs mnd
he woud have been very much happer than he
was. Unfortunatey he dd not know that hs
puzzes were puddes. e dd not know
that the academc mnd refects nfnty, and
s fu of ght by the smpe process of beng
shaow and standng st. In hs case, there-
fore, there was somethng soemn, and even
ev about the nfnty mped. It was haf-
164
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MANALI
way through a starry nght of bewderng
brancy, stars were both above and beow.
To young Smth s suen fancy, the skes beow
seemed even hoower than the skes above.
e had a horrbe dea that f he counted the
stars he woud fnd one too many n the poo.
In crossng the tte paths and brdges he
fet ke one steppng on the back and sender
rbs of some cosmc ffe Tower. or to
hm, and neary a the educated youth of that
epoch, the stars were crue thngs though they
gowed n the great dome every nght, they
were an enormous and ugy secret they un-
covered the nakedness of nature they were
a gmpse of the ron whees and pueys be-
hnd the scenes. or the young men of that
sad tme thought that the god aways came
from the machne. They dd not know that
n reaty the machne ony comes from the
god. In short, they were a pessmsts, and
starght was atrocous to them atrocous be-
cause t was true. A ther unverse was back
wth whte spots.
Smth ooked up wth reef from the
gtterng poos beow to the gtterng skes
and the great back buk of the coege. The
16
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MANALI
ony ght other than stars gowed through one
peacock-green curtan n the upper part of the
budng, markng where Dr. merson ames
aways worked t mornng and receved hs
frends and favourte pups at any hour of
the nght. Indeed, t was to hs rooms that
the meanchoy Smth was bound. Smth had
been at Dr. ames s ecture for the frst haf
of the mornng, and at psto practce and fen-
cng n a saoon for the second haf. e had
been scung mady for the frst haf of the
afternoon and thnkng dy (and st more
mady) for the second haf. e had gone to
a supper where he was uproarous, and on to
a debatng cub where he was perfecty n-
sufferabe, and the meanchoy Smth was me-
anchoy st. Then, as he was gong home
to hs dggngs, he remembered the eccentrc-
ty of hs frend and master, the arden of
rakespeare, and resoved desperatey to turn
n to that genteman s prvate house.
merson ames was an eccentrc n many
ways, but hs throne n phosophy and meta-
physcs was of nternatona emnence the
unversty coud hardy have afforded to ose
hm, and, moreover, a don has ony to contnue
166
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MANALI
any of hs bad habts ong enough to make
them a part of the rtsh consttuton. The
bad habts of merson ames were to st up
a nght and to be a student of Schopenhauer.
Personay, he was a ean, oungng sort of
man, wth a bond ponted beard, not so very
much oder than hs pup Smth n the mat-
ter of mere years, but oder by centures n
the two essenta respects of havng a uro-
pean reputaton and a bad head.
I came to see you at ths unearthy
hour, sad Smth, who was nothng to the eye
e cept a very bg man tryng to make hmsef
sma, because I am comng to the concu-
son that e stence s reay too rotten. I know
a the arguments of the thnkers that thnk
otherwse, bshops and agnostcs and those sort
of peope. And knowng you were the great-
est vng authorty on the pessmst thnk-
ers
A thnkers, sad ames, are pess-
mst thnkers.
After a patch of pause, not the frst for
ths depressng conversaton had gone on for
some hours wth aternatons of cyncsm and
sence the arden contnued wth hs ar
167
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MANALI
of weary brancy. It s a a queston of
wrong cacuaton. The moth fes nto the
cande because he doesn t happen to know that
the game s not worth the cande. The wasp
gets nto the am n hearty and hopefu ef-
forts to get the am nto hm. In the same
way the vugar peope want to en oy fe ust as
they want to en oy gn because they are too
stupd to see that they are payng too bg a
prce for t. That they never fnd happness,
that they don t even know how to ook for t,
s proved by the parayzng cumsness and
ugness of everythng they do. Ther ds-
cordant coours are cres of pan. Look at
the brck vas beyond the coege on ths sde
of the rver. There s one wth spotted bnds
ook at t ust go and ook at t
Of course, he went on dreamy, one
or two men see the sober fact a ong way off,
they go mad. Do you notce that manacs
mosty try ether to destroy other thngs, or
(f they are thoughtfu) to destroy themseves.
The madman s the man behnd the scenes,
ke the man that wanders about the cousse
of a theatre. e has ony opened the wrong
door, and come nto the rght pace. e sees
168
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e
MANALI
thngs at the rght ange. ut the common
word
Oh, hang the word I sad the suen
Smth, ettng hs fst fa on the tabe n an
de despar.
Let s gve t a bad name frst, sad the
Professor camy, and then hang t. A
puppy wth hydrophoba woud probaby
strugge for fe whe we ked t but f we
were knd we shoud k t. So an omnscent
god woud put us out of our pan. e woud
strke us dead.
hy doesn t he strke us dead asked
the undergraduate abstractedy, pungng hs
hands nto hs pockets.
e s dead hmsef, sad the phoso-
pher that s where he s reay envabe.
To any one who thnks, proceeded
ames, the peasures of fe trva and soon
tasteess, are brbes to brng us nto a torture
chamber. e a see that for any thnkng
man mere e tncton s the . . . hat
are you dong . . . Are you mad . . .
Put that thng down.
Dr. ames had turned hs tred but st
takatve head over hs shouder, and had
169
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h
.
e
d
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(
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C
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e
MANALI
found hmsef ookng nto a sma, round,
back hoe, rmmed by a s -sded crcet of
stee, wth a sort of spke standng up on the
top. It f ed hm ke an ron eye. Through
those eterna nstants durng whch the reason
s stunned, he dd not even know what t was.
Then he saw behnd t the chambered barre
and cocked hammer of a revover, and behnd
that the fushed and rather heavy face of
Smth, apparenty qute unchanged, or even
more md than before.
I hep you out of your hoe, od man,
sad Smth, wth rough tenderness. I put
the puppy out of hs pan.
merson ames retreated towards the
wndow. Do you mean to k me he
cred.
It s not a thng I d do for every one,
sad Smth, wth emoton. ut you and I
seem to have got so ntmate to-nght, some-
how. I know a your troubes now, and the
ony cure, od chap.
Put that thng down, shouted the
arden.
It soon be over, you know, sad
Smth, wth the ar of a sympathetc dentst.
170
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MANALI
And as the arden made a run for the wn-
dow and bacony, hs benefactor foowed hm
wth a quck step and a compassonate e pres-
son.
oth men were perhaps surprsed to see
that the gray and whte of eary daybreak had
aready come. One of them, however, had
emotons cacuated to swaow up surprse.
rakespeare Coege was one of the few that
retaned rea traces of Gothc ornament, and
ust beneath Dr. ames s bacony there ran
out what had once been a fyng buttress, st
shapeessy shaped nto gray beasts and devs,
but bnded wth mosses and washed out wth
rans. th an ungany and most coura-
geous eap, ames sprang out on ths antque
brdge, as the ony possbe mode of escape
from the manac. e sat astrde of t, st
n hs academc gown, dangng hs ong thn
egs, and consderng further chances of fght.
The whtenng dayght opened under as we
as over hm that mpresson of vertca nfnty
we have remarked about the tte akes round
rakespeare. Lookng down and seeng the
spres and chmneys pendent n the poos, they
fet aone n space. They fet as f they were
171
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MANALI
peerng over the edge from the North Poe
and seeng the South Poe beow.
ang the word, we sad, observed
Smth, and the word s hanged. e has
hanged the word upon nothng, says the
be. Do you ke beng hanged upon noth-
ng I m gong to be hanged on somethng
mysef. I m gong to swng for you . . .
Dear, tender od phrase, he murmured
never true t ths moment. I am gong to
swng for you. or you, dear frend. or
your sake. At your e press desre.
ep cred the arden of rakes-
peare Coege hep
The puppy strugges, sad the under-
graduate, wth an eye of pty the poor tte
puppy strugges. ow fortunate t s that I
am wser and knder than he, and he sghted
hs weapon so as e acty to cover the upper
part of ames s bad head.
Smth, sad the phosopher, wth a
sudden change to a sort of ghasty ucdty, I
sha go mad.
And so ook at thngs from the rght
ange, observed Smth, sghng genty. Ah,
but madness s ony a paatve at best, a drug.
172
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MANALI
The ony cure s an operaton an operaton
that s aways successfu: death.
As he spoke the sun rose. It seemed to
put coour nto everythng, wth the rapdty
of a ghtnng artst. A feet of tte couds
sang across the sky changed from pgeon-
gray to pnk. A over the tte academc
town the tops of dfferent budngs took on
dfferent tnts here the sun woud pck out
the green ename on a pnnace, there the scar-
et tes of a va here the copper ornament
on some artstc shop, and there the sea-bue
sates of some od and steep church roof. A
these cooured crests seemed to have somethng
oddy ndvdua and sgnfcant about them,
ke crests of famous knghts ponted out n a
pageant or a battefed they each arrested the
eye, especay the rong eye of merson
ames as he ooked round on the mornng and
accepted t as hs ast. Through a narrow
chnk between a back tmber tavern and a bg
gray coege he coud see a cock wth gt
hands, whch the sunshne set on fre. e
stared at t as though hypnotzed and sud-
deny the cock began to strke, as f n per-
sona repy. As f at a sgna, cock tfter
173
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e
MANALI
cock took up the cry. A the churches
awoke ke chckens at cockcrow. The brds
were aready nosy n the trees behnd the co-
ege. The sun rose, gatherng gory that
seemed too fu for the deep skes to hod, and
the shaow waters beneath them seemed
goden and brmmng and deep enough for the
thrst of the gods. |ust round the corner of
the coege, and vsbe from hs crazy perch,
were the brghtest specks on that brght and-
scape, the vas wth the spotted bnds, whch
he had made hs te t that nght. e won-
dered for the frst tme what peope ved n
them.
Suddeny he caed out wth mere queru-
ous authorty, as he mght have caed to a
student to shut a door.
Let me come off ths pace, he cred
I can t bear t.
I rather doubt f t w bear you, sad
Smth crtcay but before you break your
neck, or I bow out your brans, or et you
back nto ths room (on whch compe ponts
I am undecded), I want the metaphysca
pont ceared up. Do I understand that you
want to get back to fe
174
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MANALI
I d gve anythng to get back, reped
the unhappy professor.
Gve anythng cred Smth then
bast your mpudence, gve us a song
hat do you mean demanded the e -
asperated ames what song
A hymn, I thnk, woud be most appro-
prate, answered the other gravey. I et
you off f you repeat after me the words
I thank the goodness and the grace
That on my brth have smed,
And perched me on ths curous pace,
A happy ngsh chd.
Dr. merson ames havng brefy com-
ped, hs persecutor abrupty tod hm to hod
hs hands up n the ar. aguey connectng
ths proceedng wth the usua conduct of
brgands and bushrangers, Mr. ames hed
them up, very stffy, but wthout marked sur-
prse. A brd aghted on hs stone seat, took
no more notce of hm than of a comc statue.
You are now engaged n pubc wor-
shp, remarked Smth severey, and before
I have done wth you, you sha thank God
for the very ducks on the pond.
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MANALI
The ceebrated pessmst haf-artcuatcy
e pressed hs perfect readness to thank God
for the ducks on the pond.
Not forgettng the drakes, sad
Smth sterny. ( ames weaky conceded the
drakes.) Not forgettng anythng, pease.
You sha thank heaven for churches and
chapes and vas and vugar peope and pud-
des and pots and pans and stcks and rags and
bones and spotted bnds.
A rght, a rght, repeated the vc-
tm n despar stcks and rags and bones and
bnds.
Spotted bnds, I thnk we sad, re-
marked Smth wth a rogush ruthessness, and
waggng the psto-barre at hm ke a ong
metac fnger.
Spotted bnds, sad merson ames,
fanty.
You can t say farer than that, ad-
mtted the younger man, and now I ust
te you ths to wnd up wth. If you reay
were what you profess to be, I don t see that
t woud matter to sna or seraph f you broke
your mpous stff neck, and dashed out a your
drveng dev-worshppng brans. ut, n
176
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MANALI
strct bographca fact, you are a very nce
feow, addcted to takng putrd nonsense,
and I ove you ke a brother. I sha, there-
fore, fre off a my cartrdges round your head
so as not to ht you (I am a good shot, you
may be gad to hear), and then we w go n
and have some breakfast.
e et off two barres n the ar, whch
the Professor endured wth snguar frmness,
and then sad, ut don t fre them a off.
hy not asked the other buoyanty.
Keep them, answered hs companon,
for the ne t man you meet who taks as we
were takng.
It was at ths moment that Smth, ook-
ng down, perceved apopetc terror upon the
face of the Sub- arden, and heard the don-
nsh shrek wth whch he summoned the
porter and the adder.
It took Dr. ames some tte tme to ds-
entange hmsef from the adder, and some
tte tme onger to dsentange hmsef from
the Sub- arden. ut as soon as he coud
do so unobtrusvey, he re oned hs companon
n the ate e traordnary scene. e was as-
tonshed to fnd the ggantc Smth heavy
177
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MANALI
shaken, and sttng wth hs shaggy head on
hs hands. hen addressed, he fted a very
pae face.
hy, what s the matter asked ames,
whose own nerves had by ths tme twttered
themseves quet, ke the mornng brds.
I must ask your ndugence, sad
Smth, rather brokeny. I must ask you to
reaze that I have ust had an escape from
death.
You have had an escape from death
repeated the Professor n not unpardonabe
rrtaton we, of a the cheek
Oh, don t you understand, don t you un-
derstand cred the pae young man m-
patenty I had to do t, ames. I had to
prove you wrong or de. hen a man s young
he neary aways has some one whom he thnks
the top water mark of the mnd of man some
one who knows a about t, f anybody knows.
e, you were that to me you spoke
wth authorty, and not as the scrbes. No-
body coud comfort me f you sad there was
no comfort. If you reay thought there was
nothng anywhere, t was because you had been
there to see. Don t you see that I had to prove
178
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MANALI
you ddn t reay mean t Or ese drown my-
sef n the cana.
e, sad ames hestatngy, I thnk
perhaps you confuse
Oh, don t te me that, cred Smth,
wth the sudden carvoyance of menta pan
don t te me that I confuse en oyment of e -
stence wth the to Lve. That s German,
and German s gh Dutch, and gh Dutch
s Doube Dutch. The thng I saw shnng
n your eyes when you danged on that brdge
was en oyment of fe and not the to
Lve. hat you knew when you sat on that
damned gargoye was, that the word, when
a s sad and done, s a wonderfu and beau-
tfu pace I know t, because I knew t at
the same mnute. I saw the gray couds turn
pnk, and the tte gt cock n the crack
between the houses. It was those thngs you
hated eavng, not Lfe, whatever that s.
ames, we ve been to the brnk of death to-
gether won t you admt I am rght
Yes, sad ames very sowy, I thnk
you are rght. You sha have an apha-pus.
Rght cred Smth, sprngng up
reanmated. I ve passed wth honours, and
179
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MANALI
now et me go and see about beng sent
down.
You needn t be sent down, sad ames,
wth the quet confdence of tweve years of
ntrgue everythng wth us comes from the
man on top to the peope ust round hm. I
am the man on top, and I sha te the peope
round me the truth.
The massve Mr. Smth rose and went
sowy to the wndow, but he spoke wth equa
frmness. I must be sent down, he sad,
and the peope must not be tod the
truth.
And why not asked the other.
ecause I mean to foow your advce,
answered the massve youth, n heavy medta-
ton. I mean to keep the remanng shots
for peope n the shamefu state you and I
were n ast nght I wsh we coud even pead
drunkenness. I mean to keep those buets for
pessmsts ps for pae peope. And n ths
way I want to wak the word ke a wonder-
fu surprse to foat as dy as the thstedown,
and come as senty as the sunrse not to be
e pected any more than the thunderbot, not
to be recaed any more than the dyng breeze.
180
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MANALI
I don t want peope to antcpate me as a we-
known practca oke. I want both my gfts
to come vrgn and voent, the death and the
fe after death. I am gong to hod a psto
to the head of the Modern Man. ut I sha
not use t to k hm. Ony to brng hm to
fe. I begn to see a new meanng n beng
the skeeton at the feast.
You can scarcey be caed a skeeton,
sad Dr. ames, smng.
That comes of beng so much at the
feast, answered the massve youth. No
skeeton can keep hs fgure f he s aways
dnng out but that s not qute what I meant.
hat I mean s that I caught a knd of gmpse
of the meanng of death and a that. The
sku and cross-bones, the memento mor. It
sn t ony meant to remnd us of a future fe,
but to remnd us of a present fe, too. th
our weak sprts we shoud grow od n
eternty, f we were not kept young by death.
Provdence has to cut mmortaty nto engths
for us, as nurses cut the bread and butter nto
fngers.
Then he added suddeny n a voce of
unnatura actuaty, ut I know somethng
181
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MANALI
now, ames. I knew t when the couds
turned pnk.
hat do you mean asked ames.
hat dd you know
I knew for the frst tme that murder
s reay wrong.
e grpped Dr. ames s hand and groped
hs way somewhat unsteady to the door. e-
fore he had vanshed through t he had added,
It s very dangerous, though, when a man
thnks for a spt second that he understands
death.
Dr. ames remaned n repose and ru-
mnaton some hours after hs ate assaant
had eft. Then he rose, took hs hat and um-
brea, and went for a brsk f rotatory wak.
Severa tmes, however, he stood outsde the
vas wth the spotted bnds, studyng them
ntenty wth hs head sghty on one sde.
Some took hm for a unatc and some for
an ntendng purchaser. e s no , yet sure
that the two characters woud be wdey df-
ferent.
The above narratve has been constructed
on a prncpe whch s (n the opnon of
the undersgned persons) new n the art of
182
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MANALI
etters. ach of the two actors s descrbed
as he appeared to the other. ut the under-
sgned persons absoutey guarantee the
e acttude of the story and f ther verson
of the thng be questoned, they (the under-
sgned persons) woud deucedy we ke to
know who does know about t f they don t.
The undersgned persons w now ad-
ourn to The Spotted Dog for beer. are-
we.
(Sgned) |AM S M RSON AM S,
arden of rakespeare Coege, Cambrdge.
INNOC NT SMIT .
183
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MANALI
In each case the scare was so whoesome that
the vctm hmsef has dated from t as from
a new brth. Smth, so far from beng a mad-
man, s rather a mad doctor he waks the
word curng frenzes and not dstrbutng
them. That s the answer to the two un-
answerabe questons whch I put to the
prosecutors. That s why they dared not
produce a ne by any one who had actuay
confronted the psto. A who had actuay
confronted the psto confessed that they had
profted by t. That was why Smth, though
a good shot, never ht anybody. e never
ht anybody because he was a good shot. s
mnd was as cear of murder as hs hands are
of bood. Ths, I say, s the ony possbe
e panaton of these facts and of a the other
facts. No one can possby e pan the
arden s conduct e cept by beevng the
arden s story. ven Dr. Pym, who s a
very factory of ngenous theores, coud fnd
no other theory to cover the case.
There are promsng perspectves n
hypnotsm and dua personaty, sad Dr.
Cyrus Pym dreamy the scence of crm-
noogy s n ts nfancy, and
18
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MANALI
Infancy cred Moon, erkng hs red
penc n the ar wth a gesture of enghten-
ment why, that e pans t.
I repeat, proceeded Ingewood, that
nether Dr. Pym nor any one ese can account
on any other theory but ours for the arden s
sgnature, for the shots mssed and the wt-
nesses mssng.
The tte Yankee had spped to hs feet
wth some return of a cock-fghtng cooness.
The defence, he sad, omts a cody
coossa fact. They say we produce none of
the actua vctms. a, here s one vctm,
ngand s ceebrated and strcken arner. I
reckon he s pretty we produced. And they
suggest that a the outrages were foowed by
reconcatons. a, there s no fes on ng-
and s arner and he sn t reconcated
much.
My earned frend, sad Moon, gettng
eaboratey to hs feet, must remember that
the scence of shootng Dr. arner s n ts
nfancy. Dr. arner woud strke the dest
eye as one specay dffcut to starte nto any
recognton of the gory of God. e admt
that our cent, n ths one nstance, faed, and
186
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S
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MANALI
that the operaton was not successfu. ut I
am empowered to offer, on behaf of my cent,
a proposa for operatng on Dr. arner agan,
at hs earest convenence, and wthout fur-
ther fees.
Ang t a, Mchae, cred Goud, qute
serous for the frst tme n hs fe you
mght gve us a bt of bay sense for a
chnge.
hat was Dr. arner takng about
ust before the frst shot asked Moon
sharpy.
The creature, sad Dr. arner super-
cousy, asked me, wth characterstc
ratonaty, whether t was my brthday.
And you answered, wth characterstc
swank, cred Moon, shootng out a ong ean
fnger as rgd and arrestng as the psto of
Smth, that you ddn t keep your brthday.
Somethng ke that, assented the doctor.
Then, contnued Moon, he asked you
why not, and you sad t was because you
ddn t see that brth was anythng to re oce
over. Agreed Now, s there any one who
doubts that our tae s true
There was a cod crash of stness n the
187
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MANALI
room and Moon sad, Pa popu vo dt
t s the sence of the peope that s the voce
of God or n Dr. Pym s more cvzed an-
guage, t s up to hm to open the ne t change.
On ths we cam an acqutta.
It was about an hour ater. Dr. Cyrus Pym
had remaned for an unprecedented tme wth
hs eyes cosed and ths thumb and fnger n
the ar. It amost seemed as f he had been
struck so, as the nurses say and n the
deathy sence Mchae Moon fet forced to
reeve the stran wth some remark. or the
ast haf-hour or so the emnent crmnoogst
had been e panng that scence took the same
vew of offences aganst property as t dd of
offences aganst fe. Most murder, he had
sad, s a varaton of homcda mana, and
n the same way most theft s a verson of
keptomana. I cannot entertan any doubt
that my earned frends opposte adequatey
conceve how ths must nvove a scheme of
punshment more to rant and humane than
the crue methods of ancent codes. They
w doubtess e hbt conscousness of a chasm
so emnenty yawnng, so thought-arrestng,
so It was here that he paused and n-
188
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MANALI
duged n the decate gesture to whch auson
has been made and Mchae coud bear t no
onger.
Yes, yes, he sad mpatenty, we admt
the chasm. The od crue codes accused a
man of theft and sent hm to prson for ten
years. The toerant and humane tcket
accuses hm of nothng and sends hm to prson
for ever. e pass the chasm.
It was characterstc of the emnent Pym,
n one of hs trances of verba fastdousness,
that he went on, unconscous not ony of hs
opponent s nterrupton, but even of hs own
pause.
So stock-mprovng, contnued Dr. Cyrus
Pym, so fraught wth rea hgh hopes of the
future. Scence, therefore, regards theves, n
the abstract, ust as t regards murderers. It
regards them not as snners to be punshed for
an arbtrary perod, but as patents to be de-
taned and cured for (hs two frst dgts
cosed agan as he hestated) n short, for
the requred perod. ut there s somethng
speca n the case we nvestgate here. Kep-
tomana commony con ons tsef
I beg pardon, sad Mchae I dd not
189
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MAN ALI
ask ust now because, to te the truth, I reay
thought our guest, though seemngy vertca,
was en oyng we-earned sumber, wth a
pnch n hs fngers of scentess and decate
dust. ut now that thngs are movng a tte
more, there s somethng I shoud reay ke
to know. I have hung on Dr. Pym s ps, of
course, wth an nterest that t were weak to
ca rapture, but I have so far been unabe to
form any con ecture about what the accused,
n the present nstance, s supposed to have
been and gone and done.
If Mr. Moon w have patence, sad
Pym, wth dgnty, he w fnd that ths was
the very pont to whch my e poston was
drected. Keptomana, I say, e hbts tsef
as a knd of physca attracton to certan
defned materas and t has been hed (by
no ess a man than arrs) that ths s the ut-
mate e panaton of the strct specasm and
vurry narrow professona outook of most
crmnas. One w have an rresstbe
physca mpuson towards pear seeve-nks,
whe he passes over the most eegant and cee-
brated damond seeve-nks, paced about n
the most conspcuous ocatons. Another w
190
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MANALI
mpede hs fght wth no ess than forty-seven
buttoned boots, whe eastc-sded boots eave
hm cod, and even sarcastc. The specasm
of the crmna, I repeat, s a mark rather of
nsanty than of any brghtness of busness hab-
ts but there s one knd of depredator to
whom ths prncpe s at frst sght hard to
appy. I aude to our feow-ctzen the
housebreaker.
It has been mantaned by some of our
bodest young truth-seekers, that the eye of a
burgar beyond the back-garden wa coud
hardy be caught and hypnotzed by a fork
that s nsuated n a ocked bo under the
buter s bed. They have thrown down the
gauntet to Amercan scence on ths pont.
They decare that damond nks are not eft
about n conspcuous ocatons n the haunts
of the ower casses, as they were n the great
test e perment of Caypso Coege. e
hope ths e perment here w be an answer
to that young rngng chaenge, and w
brng the burgar once more nto ne and
unon wth hs feow crmnas.
Moon, whose face had gone through every
phase of back bewderment for fve mnutes
191
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MANALI
past, suddeny fted hs hand and struck the
tabe n e posve enghtenment.
Oh, I see he cred you mean that
Smth s a burgar.
I thought I made t qute ad quatey ucd,
sad Mr. Pym, fodng up hs eyeds. It was
typca of ths topsy-turvy prvate tra that
a the eoquent e tras, a the rhetorc or
dgresson on ether sde was e asperatng and
unntegbe to the other. Moon coud not
make head or ta of the soemnty of a new
cvzaton. Pym coud not make head or
ta of the gaety of an od one.
A the cases n whch Smth has fgured
as an e proprator, contnued the Amercan
doctor, are cases of burgary. Pursung the
same course as n the prevous case, we seect
the ndubtabe nstance from the rest, and we
take the most correct cast-ron evdence. I
w now ca on my coeague, Mr. Goud, to
read a etter we have receved from the
earnest, unspotted Canon of Durham, Canon
awkns.
Mr. Moses Goud eapt up wth hs usua
aacrty to read the etter from the earnest and
unspotted awkns. Moses Goud coud m-
192
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MANALI
tate a farmyard we, Sr enry Irvng not
so we, Mare Loyd to a pont of e ceence,
and the new motor horns n a manner that put
hm upon the patform of great artsts. ut
hs mtaton of a Canon of Durham was not
convncng ndeed, the sense of the etter was
so much obscured by the e traordnary eaps
and gasps of hs pronuncaton that t s per-
haps better to prnt t here as Moon read t
when, a tte ater, t was handed across the
tabe.
D AR SIR, I can scarcey fee surprse
that the ncdent you menton, prvate as t
was, shoud have ftered through our omnv-
orous ournas to the mere popuace for the
poston I have snce attaned makes me, I con-
ceve, a pubc character, and ths was certany
the most e traordnary ncdent n a not un-
eventfu and perhaps not an undstngushed
career. I am by no means wthout e per-
ence n scenes of cv tumut. I have faced
many a potca crss n the od Prmrose
League days at erne ay, and, before I broke
wth the wder set, have spent many a nght
at the Chrstan Soca Unon. ut ths other
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MANALI
e perence was qute nconcevabe. I can
ony descrbe t as the ettng oose of a pace
whch t s not for me, as a cergyman, to
menton.
It occurred n the days when I was, for a
short perod, a curate at o ton and the
other curate, then my coeague, nduced me to
attend a meetng whch he descrbed, I must
say profaney descrbed, as cacuated to pro-
mote the Kngdom of God. I found, on the
contrary, that t conssted entrey of men n
corduroys and greasy cothes whose manners
were coarse and ther opnons e treme.
Of my coeague n queston I wsh to
speak wth the fuest respect and frendness,
and I w, therefore, say tte. No one can
be more convnced than I of the ev of potcs
n the pupt and I never offer my congrega-
ton any advce about votng e cept n cases
n whch I fee strongy that they are key
to make an erroneous seecton. ut, whe I
do not mean to touch at a upon potca or
soca probems, I must say that for a cergy-
man to countenance, even n est, such dscred-
ted nostrums of dsspated demagogues as
Socasm or Radcasm partakes of the char-
194
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MANALI
acter of the betraya of a sacred trust. ar be
t from me to say a word aganst the Reverend
Raymond Percy, the coeague n queston.
e was brant, I suppose, and to some appar-
enty fascnatng but a cergyman who taks
ke a Socast, wears hs har ke a panst,
and behaves ke an nto cated person, w
never rse n hs professon, or even obtan the
admraton of the good and wse. Nor s t
for me to utter my persona udgments of the
appearance of the peope n the ha. Yet a
gance round the room, reveang ranks of
debased and envous faces
Adoptng, sad Moon e posvey, for he
was gettng restve, adoptng the reverend
genteman s favourte fgure of ogc, may I
say that whe tortures woud not tear from me
a whsper about hs nteect, he s a basted
od ackass.
Reay sad Dr. Pym I protest.
You must keep quet, Mchae, sad Inge-
wood they have a rght to read ther
story.
Char Char Char cred Goud, rong
about e uberanty n hs own and Pym
ganced for a moment towards the canopy
19
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whch covered a the authorty of the Court
of eacon.
Oh, don t wake the od ady, sad Moon,
owerng hs own voce n a moody good-
humour. I apoogze. I won t nterrupt
agan.
efore the tte eddy of nterrupton was
ended the readng of the cergyman s etter
was aready contnung.
The proceedngs opened wth a speech
from my coeague, of whch I w say
nothng. It was deporabe. Many of the
audence were Irsh, and showed the weakness
of that mpetuous peope. hen gathered
together nto gangs and conspraces they seem
to ose atogether that ovabe good-nature and
readness to accept anythng one tes them
whch dstngushes them as ndvduas.
th a sght start Mchae rose to hs feet,
bowed soemny, and sat down agan.
These persons, f not sent, were at east
appausve durng the speech of Mr. Percy.
e descended to ther eve wth wttcsms
about rent and a reserve of abour. Confsca-
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MANALI
ton, e propraton, arbtraton, and such
words wth whch I cannot so my ps
recurred constanty. Some hours afterwards
the storm broke. I had been addressng the
meetng for some tme, pontng out the ack
of thrft n the workng casses, ther nsuff-
cent attendance at evenng servce, ther neg-
ect of the arvest estva, and of many other
thngs that mght materay hep them to
mprove ther ot. It was, I thnk, about
ths tme that an e traordnary nterrupton
occurred. An enormous, powerfu man, party
conceaed wth whte paster, arose n the
mdde of the ha, and offered (n a oud,
roarng voce, ke a bu s) some observatons
whch seemed to be n a foregn anguage.
Mr. Raymond Percy, my coeague, descended
to hs eve by enterng nto a due of repartee,
n whch he appeared to be the vctor. The
meetng began to behave more respectfuy for
a tte yet before I had sad tweve sentences
more the rush was made for the patform.
The enormous pasterer, n partcuar, punged
towards us, shakng the earth ke an eephant
and I reay do not know what woud have
happened f a man equay arge, but not qute
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so -dressed, had not umped up aso and hed
hm away. Ths other bg man shouted a sort
of speech to the mob as he was shovng them
back. I don t know what he sad, but, what
wth shoutng and shovng and such horsepay,
he got us out at a back door, whe the wretched
peope went roarng down another passage.
Then foows the truy e traordnary part
of my story. hen he had got us outsde, n
a mean backyard of bstered grass eadng nto
a ane wth a very oney-ookng amp-post,
ths gant addressed us as foows: You re
we out of that, sr now you d better come
aong wth me. I want you to hep me n an
act of soca ustce, such as we ve a been
takng about. Come aong And turnng
hs bg back abrupty, he ed us down the ean
od ane wth the one ean od amp-post, we
scarcey knowng what to do but to foow hm.
e had certany heped us n a most dffcut
stuaton, and, as a genteman, I coud not treat
such a benefactor wth suspcon wthout grave
grounds. Such aso was the vew of my
Socastc coeague, who (wth a hs dread-
fu tak of arbtraton) s a genteman aso.
In fact, he comes of the Staffordshre Percys,
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MANALI
a branch of the od house and has the back
har and pae, cear-cut face of the whoe fam-
y. I cannot but refer t to vanty that he
shoud heghten hs persona advantages wth
back vevet or a red cross of consderabe
ostentaton, and certany but I dgress.
A fog was comng up the street, and that
ast ost amp-post faded behnd us n a way
that certany depressed the mnd. The arge
man n front of us ooked arger and arger
n the haze. e dd not turn round, but he
sad wth hs huge back to us, A that tak-
ng s no good we want a tte practca
Socasm.
I qute agree, sad Percy, but I aways
ke to understand thngs n theory before I
put them nto practce.
Oh, you eave t to me, sad the practca
Socast, or whatever he was, wth the most
terrfyng vagueness. I have a way wth me.
I m a permeator.
I coud not magne what he meant, but
my companon aughed, so I was suffcenty
reassured to contnue the unaccountabe our-
ney for the present. It ed us through most
snguar ways out of the ane, where we were
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MANALI
aready rather cramped, nto a paved passage,
at the end of whch we passed through a
wooden gate eft open. e then found our-
seves, n the ncreasng darkness and vapour,
crossng what appeared to be a beaten path
across a ktchen garden. I caed out to the
enormous person gong on n front, but he
answered obscurey that t was a short cut.
I was ust repeatng my very natura doubt
to my cerca companon when I was brought
up aganst a short adder, apparenty eadng
to a hgher eve of road. My thoughtess
coeague ran up t so qucky that I coud not
do otherwse than foow as best I coud. The
path on whch I then panted my feet was
qute unprecedentedy narrow. I had never
had to wak aong a thoroughfare so e guous.
Aong one sde of t grew what, n the dark
and densty of ar, I frst took to be some short,
strong thcket of shrubs. Then I saw that they
were not short shrubs they were the tops of
ta trees. I, an ngsh genteman and cergy-
man of the Church of ngand I was wak-
ng aong the top of a garden wa ke a torn
cat.
I am gad to say that I stopped wthn
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MANALI
my frst fve steps, and et oose my ust repro-
baton, baancng mysef as best I coud a
the tme.
It s a rght-of-way, decared my nde-
fensbe nformant. It s cosed to traffc once
n a hundred years.
Mr. Percy, Mr. Percy I caed out you
are not gong on wth ths backguard
hy, I thnk so, answered my unhappy
coeague fppanty. I thnk you and I are
bgger backguards than he s, whatever he s.
I am a burgar, e paned the bg crea-
ture qute camy. I am a member of the
aban Socety. I take back the weath stoen
by the captast, not by sweepng cv war
and revouton, but by reform ftted to the
speca occason here a tte and there a tte.
Do you see that ffth house aong the terrace
wth the fat roof I m permeatng that one
to-nght.
hether ths s a crme or a oke, I cred,
I desre to be qut of t.
The adder s ust behnd you, answered
the creature wth horrbe courtesy and,
before you go, do et me gve you my card.
If I had had the presence of mnd to show
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any proper sprt I shoud have fung t away,
though any adequate gesture of the knd woud
have gravey affected my equbrum upon
the wa. As t was, n the wdness of the
moment, I put t n my wastcoat pocket, and,
pckng my way back by wa and adder,
anded n the respectabe streets once more.
Not before, however, I had seen wth my own
eyes the two awfu and amentabe facts that
the burgar was cmbng up a santng roof
towards the chmneys, and that Raymond
Percy a prest of God and, what was worse,
a genteman was crawng up after hm. I
have never seen ether of them snce that day.
In consequence of ths sou-searchng e -
perence I severed my connecton wth the
wd set. I am far from sayng that every
member of the Chrstan Soca Unon must
necessary be a burgar. I have no rght to
brng any such charge. ut t gave me a hnt
of what such courses may ead to n many
cases and I saw them no more.
I have ony to add that the photograph
you encose, taken by a Mr. Ingewood, s
undoubtedy that of the burgar n queston.
hen I got home that nght I ooked at hs
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MANALI
card, and he was nscrbed there under the
name of Innocent Smth. Yours fathfuy,
|O N CL M NT A KINS.
Moon merey went through the form of
gancng at the paper. e knew that the
prosecutors coud not have nvented so heavy
a document that Moses Goud (for one)
coud no more wrte ke a canon than he coud
read ke one. After handng t back he rose
to open the defence on the burgary charge.
e wsh, sad Mchae, to gve a rea-
sonabe factes to the prosecuton especay
as t w save the tme of the whoe court.
The atter ob ect I sha once agan pursue by
passng over a those ponts of theory whch
are so dear to Dr. Pym. I know how they
are made. Per ury s a varety of aphasa,
eadng a man to say one thng nstead of
another. orgery s a knd of wrter s cramp,
forcng a man to wrte hs unce s name nstead
of hs own. Pracy on the hgh seas s prob-
aby a form of seasckness. ut t s unneces-
sary for us to nqure nto the causes of a fact
whch we deny. Innocent Smth never dd
commt burgary at a.
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I shoud ke to cam the power permtted
by our prevous arrangement, and ask the
prosecuton two or three questons.
Dr. Cyrus Pym cosed hs eyes to ndcate
a courteous assent.
In the frst pace, contnued Moon, have
you the date of Canon awkns s ast gmpse
of Smth and Percy cmbng up the was and
roofs
o, yuss caed out Goud smarty.
November thrteen, eghteen nnety-one.
ave you, contnued Moon, dentfed
the houses n o ton up whch they cmbed
Must have been Ladysmth Terrace out
of o ton gh Road, answered Goud wth
the same cockwork readness.
e, sad Mchae, cockng an eyebrow
at hm, was there any burgary n that terrace
that nght Surey you coud fnd that out.
There may we have been, sad the doctor
prmy after a pause, an unsuccessfu one that
ed to no egates.
Another queston, proceeded Mchae.
Canon awkns, n hs bood-and-thunder
boysh way, eft off at the e ctng moment.
hy don t you produce the evdence of the
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.
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e
MANALI
other cergyman, who actuay foowed the
burgar and presumaby was present at the
crme
Dr. Pym rose and panted the ponts of hs
fngers on the tabe as he dd when he was
specay confdent of the cearness of hs repy.
e have entrey faed, he sad, to track
the other cergyman, who seems to have meted
nto the ether after Canon awkns had seen
hm ascendng the gutters and the eads. I
am fuy aware that ths may strke many as
sng ar yet, upon refecton, I thnk t w
appear pretty natura to a brght thnker.
Ths Mr. Raymond Percy s admttedy, by
the canon s evdence, a mnster of eccentrc
ways. s connecton wth ngand s proud-
est and farest does not seemngy prevent a
taste for the socety of the rea ow-down. On
the other hand, the prsoner Smth s, by gen-
era agreement, a man of rr sstbe fascna-
ton. I entertan no doubt that Smth ed the
Reverend Percy nto the crme and forced hm
to hde hs head n the rea crm na cass.
That woud fuy account for hs nonappear-
ance, and the faure of a attempts to trace
hm.
20
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MAN ALI
It s mpossbe, then, to trace hm asked
Moon.
Impossbe, repeated the specast, shut-
tng hs eyes.
You are sure t s mpossbe
Oh, dry up, Mchae, cred Goud, rr-
taby we d ave found m f we coud, for
you bet e saw the burgary. Don t you start
ookng for m. Look for your own ead n
the dustbn. You fnd that after a bt,
and hs voce ded away n grumbng.
Arthur, drected Mchae Moon, sttng
down. Kndy read Mr. Raymond Percy s
etter to the court.
shng, as Mr. Moon has sad, to shorten
the proceedngs as much as possbe, began
Ingewood, I w not read the frst part of
the etter sent to us. It s ony far to the
prosecuton to admt the account gven by the
second cergyman fuy ratfes, as far as facts
are concerned, that gven by the frst cergy-
man. e concede, then, the canon s story so
far as t goes. Ths must necessary be vau-
abe to the prosecutor and aso convenent to
the court. I begn Mr. Percy s etter then, at
206
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MANALI
the pont when a three men were standng on
the garden wa,
As I watched awkns waverng on the
wa, I made up my own mnd not to waver.
A coud of wrath was on my bran, ke the
coud of copper fog on the houses and gardens
round. My decson was voent and smpe
yet the thoughts that ed up to t were so com-
pcated and contradctory that I coud not
retrace them now. I knew awkns was a
knd, nnocent genteman and I woud have
gven ten pounds for the peasure of kckng
hm down the road. That God shoud aow
good peope to be as bestay stupd as that
rose aganst me ke a towerng basphemy.
At O ford, I fear, I had the artstc tem-
perament rather bady and artsts ove to be
mted. I ked the church as a pretty pat-
tern dscpne was mere decoraton. I
deghted n mere dvsons of tme I ked
eatng fsh on rday. ut then I ke fsh
and the fast was made for men who ke meat.
Then I came to o ton and found men who
had fasted for fve hundred years men who
207
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MANALI
had to gnaw fsh because they coud not get
meat and fsh-bones when they coud not get
fsh. As too many rtsh offcers treat the
army as a revew, so I had treated the Church
Mtant as f t were the Church Pageant.
o ton cures that. Then I reazed that for
eghteen hundred years the Church Mtant
had been not a pageant, but a rot and a sup-
pressed rot. There, st vng patenty n
o ton, were peope to whom the tremendous
promses had been made. In the face of that
I had to become revoutonary f I was to con-
tnue to be regous. In o ton one cannot
be a conservatve wthout beng aso an athest
and a pessmst. Nobody but the dev
coud want to conserve o ton.
On the top of a ths comes awkns.
If he had cursed a the o ton men, e com-
muncated them and tod them they were gong
to he, I shoud have rather admred hm. If
he had ordered them a to be burned n the
market-pace, I shoud st have had that
patence that a good Chrstans have wth the
wrongs nfcted on other peope. ut there
s no prestcraft about awkns nor any other
knd of craft. e s as perfecty ncapabe
208
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MANALI
of beng a prest as he s of beng a carpenter
or a cabman or a gardener or a pasterer. e
s a perfect genteman that s hs compant.
e does not mpose hs creed, but smpy hs
cass. e never sad a word of regon n
the whoe of hs damnabe address. e sm-
py sad a the thngs hs brother, the ma or,
woud have sad. A voce from heaven as-
sures me that he has a brother, and that ths
brother s a ma or.
hen ths hepess arstocrat had prased
ceanness n the body and conventon n the
sou to peope who coud hardy keep body
and sou together, the stampede aganst our
patform began. I took part n hs undeserved
rescue, I foowed hs obscure deverer, unt
(as I have sad) we stood together on the wa
above the dm gardens, aready coudng wth
fog. Then I ooked at the curate and at the
burgar, and decded, n a spasm of nspra-
ton, that the burgar was the better man of
the two. The burgar seemed qute as knd
and human as the curate was and he was aso
brave and sef-reant, whch the curate was
not. I knew there was no vrtue n the upper
cass, for I beong to t mysef I knew there
14 209
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MANALI
was not so very much n the ower cass, for
I had ved wth t a ong tme. Many od
te ts about the despsed and persecuted came
back to my mnd and I thought that the sants
mght we be hdden n the crmna cass.
About the tme awkns et hmsef down
the adder I was crawng up a ow, sopng,
bue-sate roof after the arge man, who went
eapng n front of me ke a gora.
Ths upward scrambe was short, and we
soon found ourseves trampng aong a broad
road of fat roofs, broader than many bg thor-
oughfares, wth chmney-pots here and there
that seemed n the haze as buky as sma forts.
The asphy aton of the fog seemed to ncrease
the somewhat swoen and morbd anger under
whch my bran and body aboured. The sky
and a those thngs that are commony cear
seemed overpowered by snster sprts. Ta
spectres wth turbans of vapour seemed to
stand hgher than sun or moon, ecpsng
both. I thought dmy of ustratons to the
Araban Nghts on brown paper wth rch
but sombre tnts, showng gen gatherng
round the Sea of Soomon. y the way, what
was the Sea of Soomon Nothng to do
210
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MANALI
wth seang-wa reay, I suppose but my
mudded fancy fet the thck couds as beng
of that heavy and cngng substance, of strong
opaque coour, poured out of bong pots and
stamped nto monstrous embems.
The frst effect of the ta turbaned
vapours was that dscooured ook of pea soup
or coffee brown of whch Londoners com-
mony speak. ut the scene grew subter
wth famarty. e stood above the average
of the housetops and saw somethng of that
thng caed smoke, whch n great ctes cre-
ates the strange thng caed fog. eneath us
rose a forest of chmney-pots. And there stood
n every chmney-pot, as f t were a fower-pot,
a bref shrub or a ta tree of cooured vapour.
The coours of the smoke were varous for
some chmneys were from fresdes and some
from factores and some agan from mere rub-
bsh heaps. And yet, though the tnts were a
vared, they a seemed unnatura, ke fumes
from a wtch s pot. It was as f the shamefu
and ugy shapes growng shapeess n the
caudron sent up each ts separate spurt of
steam, cooured accordng to the fsh or fesh
consumed. ere, agow from underneath,
211
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MANALI
were dark red couds, such as mght drft from
dark ars of sacrfca bood there the vapour
was dark ndgo gray, ke the ong har of
wtches steeped n the he-broth. In another
pace the smoke was of an awfu opaque vory
yeow, such as mght be the dsembodment
of one of ther od, eprous, wa en mages.
ut rght across t ran a ne of brght, snster,
suphurous green, as cear and crooked as
Arabc
Mr. Moses Goud once more attempted the
arrest of the bus. e was understood to
suggest that the reader shoud shorten the
proceedngs by eavng out a the ad ectves.
Mrs. Duke, who had woken up, observed that
she was sure t was a very nce, and the
decson was duy noted down by Moses wth
a bue, and by Mchae wth a red, penc.
Ingewood then resumed the readng of the
document.
Then I read the wrtng of the smoke.
Smoke was ke the modern cty that makes
t t s not aways du or ugy, but t s aways
wcked and van.
Modern ngand was ke a coud of
212
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a
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MAN ALI
smoke t coud carry a coours, but t coud
eave nothng but a stan. It was our weakness
and not our strength, that put a rch refuse
n the sky. These were the rvers of our
vanty pourng nto the vod. e had taken
the sacred crce of the whrwnd, and ooked
down on t, and seen t as a whrpoo. And
then we had used t as a snk. It was a good
symbo of the mutny n my own mnd. Ony
our worst thngs were gong to heaven. Ony
our crmnas coud st ascend ke anges.
As my bran was bnded wth such emo-
tons, my gude stopped by one of the bg
chmney-pots that stood at reguar ntervas
ke amp-posts aong that upfted and aera
hghway. e put hs heavy hand upon t,
and for the moment I thought he was merey
eanng on t, tred wth hs steep scrambe and
ong tramp aong the top of the terrace. So
far as I coud guess from the abysses, fu of
fog on ether sde, and the veed ghts of red
brown and od god gowng through them
now and agan, we were on the top of one of
those ong, consecutve, and gentee rows of
houses whch are st to be found ftng ther
heads above poorer dstrcts, the remans of
213
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3
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c

D
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a

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n

t
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t
a
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e
s
,

G
o
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g

e
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d


/


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:
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/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
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u
s
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g
/
a
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s
s
_
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#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
ome rage of optmsm n earer specuatve
buders. Probaby enough, they were en-
trey untenanted, or tenanted ony by such
sma cans of the poor, as gather aso n the
od empted paaces of Itay. Indeed, some-
tme ater, when the fog had fted a tte, I
dscovered that we were wakng round a sem-
crce of crescent whch fe away beow us
nto one fat square or wde street, beow an-
other ke a gant starway, n a manner not
unknown n the eccentrc budng of London,
and ookng ke the ast edges of the and.
ut a coud seaed the gant starway as yet.
My specuatons about the suen sky-
scape, however, were nterrupted by somethng
as une pected as the moon faen from the sky.
Instead of my burgar ftng hs hand from
the chmney he eaned on, he eaned on t a
tte more heavy, and the whoe chmney-pot
turned over ke the openng top of an nk-
stand. I remembered the short adder eanng
aganst the ow wa, and fet sure he had
arranged hs crmna approach ong before.
The coapse of the bg chmney-pot
ought to have been the cumnaton of my
chaotc feengs but, to te the truth, t
214
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f
o
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b
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@
d
a
r
t
m
o
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t
h
.
e
d
u

(
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a
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t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
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2

1
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:

0

G
M
T


/


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9
9
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U
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t
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d

S
t
a
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e
s
,

G
o
o
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e
-
d

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d


/


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p
:
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/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
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g
/
a
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s
s
_
u
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e
#
p
d
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g
o
o
g

e
MAN ALI
produced a sudden sense of comedy and even
of comfort. I coud not reca what con-
nected ths abrupt bt of housebreakng wth
some quant but st kndy fances. Then
I remembered the deghtfu and uproarous
scenes of roofs and chmneys n the harequ-
nades of my chdhood, and was darky, and
qute rratonay comforted by a sense of
unsubstantaty n the scene as f the houses
were of ath and pant and pasteboard, and
were ony meant to be tumbed n and out of
by pocemen and pantaoons. The aw-
breakng of my companon seemed not ony
serousy e cusabe, but even comcay e cus-
abe. ho were a these pompous preposter-
ous peope wth ther footmen and ther
foot-scrapers, ther chmney-pots and ther
chmney-pot hats, that they shoud prevent a
poor cown from gettng sausages f he wanted
them One woud suppose that property was
a serous thng. I had reached, as t were, a
hgher eve of that mountan of vaporous
vsons the heaven of a hgher evty.
My gude had umped down nto the
dark cavty reveaed by the dspaced chm-
ney-pot. e must have anded at a eve con-
21
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f
o
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m
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@
d
a
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.
e
d
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(
D
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g
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)

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n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
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2

1
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:

0

G
M
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/


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:
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/
h
d

.
h
a
n
d

e
.
n
e
t
/
2
0
2
7
/
u
c
1
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b
2
9
9
8
1
3
P
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c

D
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m
a

n

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U
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t
e
d

S
t
a
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e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
sderaby ower, for, ta as he was, nothng
but hs werdy-toused head remaned vsbe.
Somethng agan far off, and yet famar,
peased me about ths way of nvadng the
houses of men. I thought of tte chmney-
sweeps, and The ater abes but I de-
cded that t was not that. Then I remembered
what t was that made me connect such topsy-
turvy trespass wth deas qute opposte to the
dea of crme. Chrstmas ve, of course, and
Santa Caus comng down the chmney.
Amost at the same nstant the hary head
dsappeared nto the back hoe but I heard
a voce cang to me from beow. A second
or two afterwards, the hary head reappeared
t was dark aganst the more fery part of the
fog, and nothng coud be spet of ts e pres-
son, but ts voce caed on me to foow wth
that enthusastc mpatence, proper ony
among od frends. I umped nto the guf,
and as bndy as Curtus, for I was st thnk-
ng of Santa Caus, and the tradtona vrtue
of such vertca entrance.
In every we-apponted genteman s
house, I refected, there was the front door for
the genteman, and the sde door for the trades-
216
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t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
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2

1
7
:

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G
M
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/


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:
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/
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d

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h
a
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e
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n
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t
/
2
0
2
7
/
u
c
1
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2
9
9
8
1
3
P
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c

D
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a

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U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
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e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
t
p
:
/
/
w
w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
men but there was aso the top door for the
gods. The chmney s, so to speak, the under-
ground passage between earth and heaven.
y ths starry tunne Santa Caus manages
ke the skyark to be true to the kndred
ponts of heaven and home. Nay, owng to
certan conventons, and a wdey dstrbuted
ack of courage for cmbng, ths door was,
perhaps, tte used. ut Santa Caus s door
was reay the front door: t was the door
frontng the unverse.
I thought ths as I groped my way across
the back garret or oft beow the roof and
scrambed down the squat adder that et us
down nto a yet arger oft beow. Yet t was
not t I was haf-way down the adder that
I suddeny stood st, and thought for an
nstant of retracng a my steps, as my com-
panon had retraced them from the begnnng
of the garden wa. The name of Santa Caus
had suddeny brought me back to my senses.
I remembered why Santa Caus came, and why
he was wecome.
I was brought up n the properted casses,
and wth a ther horror of offences aganst
property. I had heard a the reguar denun-
217
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m
o
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t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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1
2
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G
M
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/


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,

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-
d

z
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d


/


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:
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w
.
h
a
t
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t
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/
a
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s
_
u
s
e
#
p
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s
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g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
eatons of robbery, both rght and wrong I
had read the Ten Commandments n church
a thousand tmes. And then and there, at the
age of thrty-four, haf-way down a adder n
a dark room n the body act of burgary, I
saw suddeny for the frst tme that theft, after
a, s reay wrong.
It was too ate to turn back, however, and
I foowed the strangey-soft footsteps of my
huge companon across the ower and arger
oft, t he knet down on a part of the bare
foorng and, after a few fumbng efforts,
fted a sort of trap-door. Ths reeased a ght
from beow, and we found ourseves ookng
down nto a amp-t sttng-room, of the sort
that n arge houses often eads out of a bed-
room, and s an ad unct to t. Lght thus
breakng from beneath our feet ke a soundess
e poson, showed that the trap-door ust fted
was cogged wth dust and rust and had
doubtess been ong dsused unt the advent of
my enterprsng frend. ut I dd not ook
at ths ong, for the sght of the shnng room
underneath us had an amost unnatura
attractveness. To enter a modern nteror at
so strange an ange, by so forgotten a door,
218
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h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
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t
m
o
u
t
h

C
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e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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S
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,

G
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e
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h
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t
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/
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s
s
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#
p
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-
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-
g
o
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G
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a
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d

f
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(
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)

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2
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D
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S
t
a
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,

G
o
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-
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d


/


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:
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w
.
h
a
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h

t
r
u
s
t
.
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/
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s
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#
p
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-
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-
g
o
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e
G
e
n
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r
a
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e
d

f
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m
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@
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.
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(
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)

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2
0
1
2
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G
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1
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2
9
9
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P
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c

D
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U
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t
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d

S
t
a
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e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
t
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p
:
/
/
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
s
t
.
o
r
g
/
a
c
c
e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
was an epoch n one s psychoogy. It was ke
havng found a fourth dmenson.
My companon dropped from the aper-
ture nto the room so suddeny and soundessy,
that I coud do nothng but foow hm
though, through ack of practce n crme, I
was by no means soundess. efore the echo
of my boots had ded away, the bg burgar
had gone qucky to the door, haf opened t,
and stood ookng down the starcase and
stenng. Then, eavng the door st haf
open, he came back nto the mdde of the
room, and ran hs rovng bue eye round ts
furnture and ornament. The room was com-
fortaby ned wth books n that rch and
human way that makes the was seem ave
t was a deep and fu, but soveny, bookcase,
of the sort that s constanty ransacked for the
purposes of readng n bed. One of those
stunted German stoves that ook ke red gob-
ns stood n a corner, and a sdeboard of
wanut wood, wth cosed doors n ts ower
part. There were three wndows, hgh but
narrow. After another gance round, my
housebreaker pucked the wanut doors open
and rummaged nsde. e found nothng
219
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@
d
a
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m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
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2

1
7
:

0

G
M
T


/


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e
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/
u
c
1
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b
2
9
9
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1
3
P
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b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


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:
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w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
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t
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o
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g
/
a
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e
s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
there, apparenty, e cept an e tremey hand-
some cut-gass decanter, contanng what
ooked ke port. Somehow the sght of the
thef returnng wth ths rdcuous tte u -
ury n hs hand, woke wthn me once more
a the reveaton and revuson I had fet
above.
Don t do t I cred qute ncoherenty.
Santa Caus
Ah, sad the burgar, as he put the de-
canter on the tabe and stood ookng at me,
you ve thought about that, too.
I can t e press a month part of what
I ve thought of, I cred, but somethng ke
ths ... oh, can t you see t hy are
chdren not afrad of Santa Caus, though he
comes ke a thef n the nght e s per-
mtted secrecy, trespass, amost treachery be-
cause there are more toys where he has been.
hat shoud we fee f there were ess
Down what chmney from he woud come
the gobn that shoud take away the chdren s
bas and dos whe they sept Coud a
Greek tragedy be more gray and crue than
that daybreak and awakenng Dog-steaer,
220
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o
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m
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b
e
r
@
d
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
r
t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
0
1
2
-
0
6
-
0
2

1
7
:

0

G
M
T


/


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:
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d

e
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2
0
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/
u
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2
9
9
8
1
3
P
u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


/


h
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p
:
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/
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w
w
.
h
a
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t
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/
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s
s
_
u
s
e
#
p
d
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u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
horse-steaer, man-steaer can you thnk of
anythng so base as a toy-steaer
The burgar, as f absenty, took a arge
revover from hs pocket and ad t on the
tabe besde the decanter, but st kept hs
bue refectve eyes f ed on my face.
Man I sad, a steang s toy-stea-
ng. That s why t s reay wrong. The
goods of the unhappy chdren of men shoud
be respected because of ther worthessness.
I know Naboth s vneyard s as panted as
Noah s Ark. I know Nathan s ewe-amb s
reay a wooy baa-amb on a wooden stand.
That s why I coud not take them away. I
dd not mnd so much, as ong as I thought of
men s thngs as ther vauabes but I dare not
put a hand upon ther vantes.
After a moment I added abrupty, Ony
sants and sages ought to be robbed. They
may be strpped and paged but not the poor
tte wordy peope of the thngs that are
ther poor tte prde.
e set out two wne-gasses from the cup-
board, fed them both, and fted one of
them wth a sautaton towards hs ps.
221
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MANALI
Don t do t I I cred. It mght be the
ast botte of some rotten vntage or other.
The master of ths house may be proud of t.
Don t you see there s somethng sacred n the
sness of such thngs
It s not the ast botte, answered my
crmna camy there s penty more n the
cear.
You know the house, then I sad.
Too we, he answered, wth a sadness
so strange as to have somethng eere about t.
I am aways tryng to forget what I know
and to fnd what I don t know. e draned
hs gass. esdes, he added, t w do
hm good.
hat w do hm good
The wne I m drnkng, sad the
strange person.
Does he drnk too much, then I n-
qured.
No, he answered not uness I do.
Do you mean, I demanded, that the
owner of ths house approves of a you do
God forbd, he answered but he has
to do the same.
The dead face of the fog ookng n at a
222
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e
MANALI
the three wndows unreasonaby ncreased a
sense of rdde, and even terror, about ths
ta, narrow house we had entered out of the
sky. I had once more the noton about the
ggantc gen I fanced that enormous
gyptan faces, of the dead reds and yeows
of gypt, were starng n at each wndow of
our tte amp-t room as at a ghted stage
of maronettes. My companon went on pay-
ng wth the psto n front of hm, and
takng wth the same rather creepy conf-
dentaness.
I am aways tryng to fnd hm to
catch hm unawares. I come n through sky-
ghts and trap-doors to fnd hm but when-
ever I fnd hm he s dong what I am
dong.
I sprang to my feet wth a thr of fear.
There s some one comng, I cred, and
my cry had somethng of a shrek n t.
Not from the stars beow, but aong the
passage from the nner bedchamber (whch
seemed somehow to make t more aarmng),
footsteps were comng nearer. I am qute
unabe to say what mystery, or monster, or
doube, I e pected to see when the door was
223
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a
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MANALI
pushed open from wthn. I am ony qute
certan that I dd not e pect to see what I
dd see.
ramed n the open doorway stood, wth
an ar of great serenty, a rather ta young
woman, defntey, but ndefnaby artstc
her dress the coour of sprng and her har
of autumn eaves, wth a face whch, though
st comparatvey young, conveyed e per-
ence as we as ntegence. A she sad
was, I ddn t hear you come n.
I came n another way, sad the per-
meator, somewhat vaguey. I d eft my
atchkey at home.
I got to my feet n a m ture of pote-
ness and mana. I m reay very sorry, I
cred. I know my poston s rreguar.
oud you be so obgng as to te me whose
house ths s
Mne, sad the burgar. May I
present you to my wfe
I doubtfuy, and somewhat sowy, re-
sumed my seat and I dd not get out of t
t neary mornng. Mrs. Smth (such was
the prosac name of ths far from prosac
househod) ngered a tte, takng sghty
224
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MANALI
and peasanty. She eft on my mnd the
mpresson of a certan odd m ture of shy-
ness and sharpness as f she knew the word
we, but was st a tte harmessy afrad
of t. Perhaps the possesson of so umpy
and ncacuabe a husband had eft her a
tte nervous. Anyhow, when she had re-
tred to the nner chamber once more, that
e traordnary man poured forth hs apooga
and autobography over the dwndng wne.
e had been sent to Cambrdge wth a
vew to a mathematca and scentfc, rather
than a cassca or terary, career. A staress
nhsm was then the phosophy of the
schoos and t bred n hm a war between
the members and the sprt, but one n whch
the members were rght. he hs bran ac-
cepted the back creed, hs very body rebeed
aganst t. As he put t, hs rght hand taught
hm terrbe thngs. As the authortes of
Cambrdge Unversty put t, unfortunatey
t had taken the form of hs rght hand
fourshng a oaded frearm n the very face
of a dstngushed don, and drvng hm to
cmb out of the wndow and cng to a water-
spout. e had done t soey because the
22
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MANALI
poor don had professed n theory a preference
for non-e stence. or ths very unacademc
type of argument he had been sent down,
vomtng as he was wth revuson, from the
pessmsm that had quaed under hs psto,
he made hmsef a knd of fanatc of the oy
of fe. e cut across a the assocatons of
serous-mnded men. e was gay, but by no
means careess. s practca okes were
more n earnest than verba ones. Though
not an optmst, n the absurd sense of man-
tanng that fe s a beer and skttes, he dd
reay seem to mantan that beer and skttes
are the most serous part of t. hat s
more mmorta, he woud cry, than ove and
war Type of a desre and oy beer.
Type of a batte and conquest skttes.
There was somethng n hm of what the
Od ord caed the soemnty of reves
when they spoke of soemnzng a mere
masquerade or weddng banquet. Neverthe-
ess, he was not a mere pagan any more than
he was a mere practca oker. s eccen-
trctes sprang from a statc fact of fath, n
tsef mystca, and even chdke, and Chrs-
tan.
226
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MANALI
I don t deny, he sad, that there
shoud be prests to remnd men that they
w one day de. I ony say that at certan
strange epochs t s necessary to have another
knd of prests, caed poets, actuay to re-
mnd men that they are not dead yet. The
nteectuas among whom I moved were not
even ave enough to fear death. They hadn t
bood enough n them to be cowards. Unt
a psto-barre was poked under ther very
noses they never even knew they had been
born. or ages ookng up an eterna per-
spectve t mght be true that fe s a earnng
to de. ut for these tte whte rats t was
ust as true that death was ther ony chance
of earnng to ve.
s creed of wonder was Chrstan by
ths absoute test that he fet t contnuay
sppng from hmsef as much as from others.
e had the same psto for hmsef, as rutus
sad of the dagger. e contnuay ran pre-
posterous rsks of hgh precpce or headong
speed to keep ave the mere convcton that
he was ave. e treasured up trva and yet
nsane detas that had once remnded hm of
the awfu subconscous reaty. hen the don
227
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S
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a
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,

G
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e
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e
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MANALI
had hung on the stone gutter, the sght of hs
ong dangng egs, vbratng n the vod ke
wngs, somehow awoke the naked satre of
the od defnton of man as. a two-egged an-
ma wthout feathers. The wretched pro-
fessor had been brought nto per by hs head,
whch he had so eaboratey cutvated, and
ony saved by hs egs, whch he had treated
wth codness and negect. Smth coud
thnk of no other way of announcng or record-
ng ths, e cept to send a teegram to an od
schoo frend (by ths tme a tota stranger)
to say that he had ust seen a man wth two
egs and that the man was ave.
The uprush of hs reeased optmsm
burst nto stars ke a rocket when he suddeny
fe n ove. e happened to be shootng a
hgh and very headong wer n a canoe, by
way of provng to hmsef that he was ave
and he soon found hmsef nvoved n some
doubt about the contnuance of the fact.
hat was worse, he found he had equay
eopardzed a harmess ady aone n a rowng
boat, and one who had provoked death by no
professons of phosophc negaton. e
apoogzed n wd gasps through a hs wd
228
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C
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U
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S
t
a
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,

G
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e
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#
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e
MANALI
wet abours to brng her to the shore, and
when he had done so at ast, he seems to have
proposed to her on the bank. Anyhow, wth
the same mpetuosty wth whch he had
neary murdered her, he competey marred
her and she was the ady n green to whom I
had recenty sad good-nght.
They had setted down n these hgh nar-
row houses near ghbury. Perhaps, ndeed,
that s hardy the word. One coud strcty
say that Smth was marred, that he was very
happy marred, that he not ony dd not care
for any woman but hs wfe, but dd not seem
to care for any pace but hs home but per-
haps one coud hardy say that he had setted
down. I am a very domestc feow, he
e paned wth gravty, and I have often
come n through a broken wndow rather
than be ate for tea.
e ashed hs sou wth aughter to pre-
vent t fang aseep. e ost hs wfe a seres
of e ceent servants by knockng at the door
as a tota stranger, and askng f Mr. Smth
ved there and what knd of a man he was.
The London genera servant s not used to the
master ndugng n such transcendenta
229
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(
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C
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a

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U
n

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d

S
t
a
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s
,

G
o
o
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e
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e
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MANALI
rones and t was found mpossbe to e -
pan to her that he dd t n order to fee
the same nterest n hs own affars that he a-
ways fet n other peope s.
I know there s a feow caed Smth,
he sad n hs rather werd way, vng n one
of the ta houses n ths terrace. I know
he s reay happy, and yet I can never catch
hm at t.
Sometmes he woud, of a sudden, treat
hs wfe wth a knd of parayzed poteness,
ke a young stranger struck wth ove at frst
sght. Sometmes he woud e tend ths poetc
fear to the very furnture woud seem to
apoogze to the char he sat on, and cmb
the starcase as cautousy as a cragsman, to
renew n hmsef the sense of ther skeeton
of reaty. very star s a adder and every
stoo a eg, he sad. And at other tmes he
woud pay the stranger e acty n the op-
poste sense, and woud enter by another way,
so as to fee ke a thef and a robber. e
woud break and voate hs own home, as he
had done wth me that nght. It was neary
mornng before I coud tear mysef from ths
queer confdence of the Man ho oud
230
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MANAL1
Not De, and as I shook hands wth hm on
the doorsteps the ast oad of fog was ftng,
and rfts of dayght reveaed the starway
of rreguar street eves that ooked ke the
end of the word.
It w be enough for many to say that
I had passed a nght wth a manac. hat
other term, t w be sad, coud he apped
to such a beng A man who remnds hm-
sef that he s marred by pretendng not to
be marred A man who tres to covet hs
own goods nstead of hs neghbours On
ths I have but one word to say, and I fee t
of my honour to say t, though no one under-
stands. I beeve the manac was one of those
who do not merey come, but are sent sent
ke a great gae upon shps by m who
made s anges wnds and s messengers
a famng fre. Ths, at east, I know for
certan. hether such men have aughed or
wept, we have aughed at ther aughter as
much as at ther weepng. hether they
cursed or bessed the word, they have never
ftted t. It s true that men have shrunk
from the stng of a great satrst as f from
the stng of an adder. ut t s equay true
231
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MANALI
that men fee from the embrace of a great
optmst as from the embrace of a bear.
Nothng brngs down more curses than a rea
benedcton. or the goodness of good thngs,
ke the badness of bad thngs, s a prodgy
past speech t s to be pctured rather than
spoken. e sha have gone deeper than the
deeps of heaven and grown oder than the
odest anges before we fee, even n ts frst
fant vbratons, the everastng voence of
that doube passon wth whch God hates and
oves the word. I am, yours fathfuy,
RAYMOND P RCY.
Oh Oy, Oy, Oy sad Mr. Moses
Goud.
The nstant he had spoken a the rest knew
they had been n an amost regous state of
submsson and assent. Somethng had bound
them a together somethng n the sacred
tradton of the ast two words of the etter
somethng aso n the touchng and boysh
embarrassment wth whch Ingewood had
read them for he had a the thn-sknned
reverence of the agnostc. Moses Goud was
as good a feow n hs way as ever ved far
232
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e
MANALI
knder to hs famy than more refned men
of peasure, smpe and steadfast n hs ad-
mratons, a thoroughy whosesome anma
and a thoroughy genune character. ut
wherever there s confct crses come n whch
any sou, persona or raca, unconscousy
turns on the word the most hatefu of ts hun-
dred faces. ngsh reverence, Irsh myst-
csm, Amercan deasm, ooked up and saw
on the face of Moses a certan sme. It was
that sme of the cync trumphant whch has
been the tocsn for many a crue rot n Rus-
san vages of medaeva towns.
Oh Oy Oy, Oy sad Moses Goud.
ndng that ths was not we receved,
he e paned further, e uberance deepenng on
hs dark e uberant features.
Aways fun to see a boke swaow a wasp
when e s corfn up a fy, he sad peasanty.
Don t you see you ve bunged up od Smth
anyhow. If ths parson s tae s O.K. why,
Smth s ot. s pretty ot, we fnd hm
eopn wth Mss Gray (best respects ) n a
cab. e, what abart ths Mrs. Smth the
curate taks of, wth her barsted shyness
transmgogrfed nto a bghted sharpness.
233
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MANALI
Mss Gray an t been very sharp, but I reckon
she be pretty shy.
Don t be a brute, growed Mchae Moon.
None coud ft ther eyes to ook at Mary
but Ingewood sent a gance aong the tabe
at Innocent Smth. e was st bowed above
hs paper toys, and a wrnke was on hs fore-
head that mght have been worry or shame.
e carefuy pucked out one corner of a
compcated paper strp and tucked t n ese-
where then the wrnke vanshed and he
ooked reeved.
234
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C APT R III
T ROUND ROAD OR, T D S RTION C ARG
PYM rose wth sncere embarrassment for
he was an Amercan, and hs respect for
ades was rea, and not at a scentfc.
Ignorng, he sad, the decate and con-
sderaby knghty protests that have been
caed forth by my coeague s natve sense of
oraton, and apoogzng to a for whom our
wd search for truth seems unsutabe to the
grand runs of a feuda and, I st thnk my
coeague s queston by no means devod of
re vancy. The ast charge aganst the ac-
cused was one of burgary the ne t charge
on the paper s of bgamy and deserton. It
does wthout queston appear that the defence,
n asprng to rebut the ast charge, have reay
admtted the ne t. ther Innocent Smth s
st under a charge of attempted burgary,
or ese that s e poded but he s pretty we
f ed for attempted bgamy. It a depends
23
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MANALI
what vew we take of the aeged etter from
Curate Percy. Under these condtons I fee
ustfed n camng my rght to questons.
May I ask how the defence got hod of the
etter from Curate Percy Dd t come
drect from the prsoner
e have had nothng drect from the
prsoner, sad Moon quety. The two
documents whch the defence guarantees came
to us from another quarter.
rom what quarter asked Dr. Pym.
If you nsst, answered Moon, we had
them from Mss Gray.
Dr. Cyrus Pym qute forgot to cose hs
eyes, and, nstead, opened them very wde.
Do you reay mean to say, he sad, that
Mss Gray was n possesson of ths document
testfyng to a prevous Mrs. Smth
ute so, sad Ingewood, and sat down.
The doctor sad somethng about nfatuaton
n a ow and panfu voce, and then wth
vsbe dffcuty contnued hs openng re-
marks.
Unfortunatey, the tragc truth reveaed by
Curate Percy s narratve s ony too crush-
ngy confrmed by other and monstrous docu-
236
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e
MANALI
ments n our possesson. Of these the prn-
cpa and most certan s the testmony of
Innocent Smth s gardener, who was present
at the most dramatc and eye-openng of hs
many acts of marta nfdety. Mr. Goud,
the gardener, pease.
Mr. Goud, wth hs treess cheerfuness,
arose to present the gardener. That functon-
ary e paned that he had served Mr. and
Mrs. Innocent Smth when they had a tte
house on the edge of Croydon. rom the
gardener s tae, wth ts many sma ausons,
Ingewood grew certan that he had seen the
pace. It was one of those corners of town
or country that one does not forget, for t
ooked ke a fronter. The garden hung very
hgh above the ane, and ts end was steep and
sharp, ke a fortress. eyond was a ro of
rea country, wth a whte path sprawng
across t, and the roots, boes, and branches of
great gray trees wrthng and hostng aganst
the sky. ut as f to assert that the ane tsef
was suburban, were sharpy reeved aganst
that gray and tossng upand a amp-post
panted a pecuar yeow-green and a red p-
ar-bo that stood e acty at the corner.
237
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MANALI
Ingewood was sure of the pace he had
passed t twenty tmes n hs consttutonas on
the bcyce he had aways dmy fet t was a
pace where somethng mght occur. ut t
gave hm qute a shver to fee that the face
of hs frghtfu frend, or enemy, Smth,
mght at any tme have appeared over the gar-
den bushes above. The gardener s account,
unke the curate s, was qute free from deco-
ratve ad ectves, however many he may have
uttered prvatey whe wrtng t. e smpy
sad that on a partcuar mornng Mr. Smth
came out and began to pay about wth a rake,
as he often dd. Sometmes he woud tcke
the nose of hs edest chd (he had two ch-
dren) sometmes he woud hook the rake on
to the branch of a tree, and host hmsef up
wth horrbe gymnastc erks, ke those of a
gant frog n ts fna agony. Never, ap-
parenty, dd he thnk of puttng the rake to
any of ts proper uses, and the gardener, n
consequence, treated hs actons wth codness
and brevty. ut the gardener was certan
that on one partcuar mornng n October he
(the gardener) had come round the corner of
the house carryng the hose, had seen Mr.
238
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MANALI
Smth standng on the awn n a strped red
and whte acket (whch mght have been hs
smokng acket, but was qute as ke a part
of hs py amas), and had heard hm then and
there ca out to hs wfe, who was ookng
out of the bedroom wndow on to the gar-
den, these decsve and very oud e pres-
sons,
I won t stay here any onger. I ve got an-
other wfe and much better chdren a ong
way from here. My other wfe s got redder
har than yours, and my other garden s got a
much fner stuaton and I m gong off to
them.
th these words, apparenty, he sent the
rake fyng far nto the sky, hgher than many
coud have shot an arrow, and caught t agan.
Then he ceared the hedge at a eap, and
aghted on hs feet down n the ane beow,
and set off up the road wthout even a hat.
Much of the pcture was doubtess supped
by Ingewood s accdenta memory of the
pace. e coud see wth hs mnd s eye that
bg bare-headed fgure wth the ragged rake
swaggerng up the crooked woodand road,
and eavng amp-post and par-bo behnd.
239
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MANALI
ut the gardener, on hs own account, was
qute prepared to swear to the pubc confes-
son of bgamy, to the temporary dsappear-
ance of the rake n the sky, and the fna
dsappearance of the man up the road. More-
over (beng a oca man) he coud swear that,
beyond some oca rumours that Smth had
embarked on the southeastern coast, nothng
was known of hm agan.
Ths mpresson was somewhat curousy
cnched by Mchae Moon n the few but
cear phrases n whch he opened the defence
upon the thrd charge. So far from denyng
that Smth had fed from Croydon and dsap-
peared upon the Contnent, he seemed pre-
pared to prove a ths on hs own account.
I hope you are not so nsuar, he sad, that
you w not respect the word of a rench nn-
keeper as much as that of an ngsh gardener.
y Mr. Ingewood s favour we w hear the
rench nnkeeper.
efore the company had decded the de-
cate pont, Ingewood was aready readng out
the account n queston. It was n rench.
It seemed to them to run somethng ke
ths,
240
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MANALI
SIR, Yes I am Durobn of Durobn s
Cafe on the sea-front at Gras, rather north of
Dunquerque. I am wng to wrte a I
know of the stranger out of the sea.
I have no sympathy wth eccentrcs or
poets. A man of sense ooks for beauty n
thngs deberatey ntended to be beautfu,
such as a trm fower-bed or an vory statuette.
One does not permt beauty to pervade one s
whoe fe, ust as one does not pave a the
roads wth vory or cover a the feds wth
geranums. My fath, but we shoud mss the
onons
ut whether I read thngs backwards
through my memory, or whether there are n-
deed atmospheres of psychoogy whch the eye
of scence cannot as yet perce, t s the hu-
matng fact that on that partcuar evenng
I fet ke a poet, ke any tte rasca of a
poet who drnks absnthe n the mad Mont-
ma rtre.
Postvey the sea tsef ooked ke ab-
snthe, green and btter and posonous. I had
never known t ook unfamar before. In
the sky was that eary and stormy darkness
that s so depressng to the mnd and the wnd
241
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e
MANALI
bew shry round the tte, oney, cooured
kosk where they se the newspapers, and
aong the sand-hs by the shore. Then I
saw a fshng-boat wth a brown sa standng
n senty from the sea. It was aready qute
cose, and out of t cambered a man of mon-
strous stature, who came wadng to shore wth
the water not up to hs knees, though t woud
have reached the hps of many men. e
eaned on a ong rake or forked poe, whch
ooked ke a trdent, and made hm ook ke
a Trton. et as he was, and wth strps of
seaweed cngng to hm, he waked across to
my cafe, and, sttng down at a tabe outsde,
asked for sherry brandy, a queur whch I
keep, but s sedom demanded. Then the
monster, wth great poteness, nvted me to
partake of a vermouth before my dnner, and
we fe nto conversaton. e had, appar-
enty, crossed from Kent by a sma boat, got
at a prvate bargan because of some odd
fancy he had for passng prompty n an
eastery drecton, and not watng for any of
the offca boats. e was, he somewhat
vaguey e paned, ookng for a house.
hen I naturay asked where the house was,
242
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MANALI
he answered that he dd not know t was on
an sand t was somewhere to the east or, as
he e pressed t wth a hazy and yet mpatent
gesture, over there.
I asked hm how, f he dd not know the
pace, he woud know t when he saw t. ere
he suddeny ceased to be hazy, and became
aarmngy mnute. e gave a descrpton of
the house detaed enough for an auctoneer.
I have forgotten neary a the detas e cept
the ast two, whch were that the amp-post
was panted green, and that there was a red
par-bo at the corner.
A red par-bo I I cred n astonshment.
hy, the pace must be n ngand 1
I had forgotten, he sad, noddng heavy.
That s the sand s name.
ut, nom du nom, I cred testy, you ve
ust come from ngand, my boy.
They sad t was ngand, sad my m-
bece conspratory. They sad t was Kent.
ut those Kentsh men are such ars one can t
beeve anythng they say.
Monseur, I sad, you must pardon me.
I am edery, and the fumsteres of the young
men are beyond me. I go by common sense
243
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MANALI
or, at the argest, by that e tenson of apped
common sense caed scence.
Scence 1 cred the stranger, there s ony
one good thng scence ever dscovered. A
good thng good tdngs of great oy. That
the word s round.
I tod hm wth cvty that hs words con-
veyed no mpresson to my ntegence. I
mean, he sad, that gong rght round the
word s the shortest way to where you are a-
ready.
Is t not even shorter, I asked, to stop
where you are
No, no, no, he cred emphatcay.
That way s very ong and very weary. At
the end of the word, at the back of the dawn,
I sha fnd the wfe I reay marred, and the
house that s reay mne. And that house w
have a greener amp-post and a redder par-
bo . Do you, he asked wth a sudden nten-
sty, do you never want to rush out of your
house n order to fnd t.
No, I thnk not, I reped, reason tes
a man from the frst to adapt hs desres to
the probabe suppy of fe. I reman here
content to fuf the fe of man. A my
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MANALI
nterests are here, and most of my frends,
and
And yet, he cred, startng to hs amost
terrfc heght, you made the rench Revou-
ton
Pardon me, I sad, I am not qute so
edery. A reatve perhaps.
I mean your sort dd, e camed ths per-
sonage. Yes, your damned smug, setted,
sensbe sort made the rench Revouton.
Oh I know, some say t was no good, and
you re ust back where you were before.
hy, bast t a, that s ust where we a want
to be back where we were before That s
revouton gong rght round every revou-
ton ke every repentance s a return.
e was so e cted that I wated t he had
taken hs seat agan, and then sad somethng
ndfferent and soothng, but he struck the tny
tabe wth hs coossa fst and went on.
I am gong to have a revouton, not a
rench Revouton, but an ngsh Revou-
ton. God has gven to each trbe ts own type
of mutny. The renchmen march aganst
the ctade of the cty together the ngsh-
man marches to the outskrts of the cty, and
24
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MANALI
aone. ut I am gong to turn the word up-
sde down, too. I m gong to turn mysef up-
sde down. I m gong to wak upsde down n
the cursed upsdedownand of the Antpodes,
where trees and men hang head downward n
the sky. ut my revouton, ke yours, ke
the earth s, w end up n the hoy, happy
pace, the ceesta, ncredbe pace the pace
where we were before.
th these remarks, whch can scarcey be
reconced wth reason, he eapt from the seat
and strode away nto the twght, swngng hs
poe and eavng behnd hm an e cessve pay-
ment, whch aso ponted to some oss of
menta baance. Ths s a I know of the
epsode of the man anded from the fshng-
boat, and I hope t may serve the nterests of
ustce. Accept, sr, the assurances of the
very hgh consderaton, wth whch I have the
honour to be your obedent servant,
|UL S DUDO IN.
The ne t document n our dosser, con-
tnued Ingewood, comes from the town of
Crazok, n the centra pans of Russa, and
runs as foows,
246
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MANALI
SIR, My name s Pau Nckoaovtch:
I am the staton-master at the staton near
Crazok. The great trans go by across the
pans takng peope to Chna, but very few
peope get down at the patform where I have
to watch. Ths makes my fe rather oney,
and I am thrown back much upon the books I
have. ut I cannot dscuss these very much
wth my neghbours, for enghtened deas
have not spread n ths part of Russa so much
as n other parts. Many of the peasants round
here have never heard of ernard Shaw.
I am a Lbera, and do my best to spread
Lbera deas but snce the faure of the
revouton ths has been even more dffcut.
The revoutonsts commtted many acts con-
trary to the pure prncpes of humantaran-
sm, wth whch ndeed, owng to the scarcty
of books, they were acquanted. I dd not
approve of these crue acts, though provoked
by the badness of the government but now
there s a tendency to reproach a ntegents
wth the memory of them. Ths s very un-
fortunate for ntegents.
It was when the raway strke was amost
over, and a few trans came through at ong
247
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MAN ALI
ntervas, that I stood one day watchng a
tran that had come n. Ony one person got
out of the tran, far away up at the other end
of t for t was a very ong tran. It was
evenng, wth a cod greensh sky a tte
snow had faen, but not enough to whten the
pan, whch stretched away a sort of sad
purpe n a drectons, save where the fat
tops of some dstant tabeands caught the
evenng ght ke akes. As the sotary man
came stampng aong on the thn snow by the
tran, he grew arger and arger I thought
I had never seen so arge a man. ut he
ooked even taer than he was, I thnk, be-
cause hs shouders were very bg, and hs
head comparatvey tte. rom the bg
shouders hung a tattered od acket, strped
du red and drty whte, very thn for the wn-
ter, and one hand rested on a huge poe, such
as peasants rake n weeds wth to burn them.
efore he had traversed the fu ength
of the tran he was entanged n one of those
knots of rowdes that were the embers of the
e tnct revouton, though they mosty ds-
graced themseves upon the government sde.
I was ust movng to hs assstance, when he
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whred up hs rake and ad out to eft and
rght wth such energy that he came through
them wthout scathe and strode rght up to
me, eavng them staggered and reay aston-
shed.
Yet when he reached me, after so abrupt
an asserton of hs am, he coud ony say
rather dubousy n rench, that he wanted
a house.
11 There are not many houses to be had
round here, I answered n the same anguage,
the dstrct has been very dsturbed. A rev-
outon, as you know, has recenty been sup-
pressed. Any further budng
Oh I don t mean that, he cred, I
mean a rea house. A ve house. It reay
s a ve house for t runs away from me.
I am ashamed to say that somethng n
hs phrase or gesture moved me profoundy.
e Russans are brought up n an atmosphere
of fok-ore, and ts unfortunate effects can
st be seen n the brght coours of the ch-
dren s dos and of the kons. or an nstant
the dea of a house runnng away from a man
gave me peasure for the enghtenment of
man moves sowy.
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MANALI
ave you no other house of your
own I asked.
I have eft t, he sad very sady. It
was not the house that grew du, but I that
grew du n t. My wfe was better than a
women, and yet I coud not fee t.
And so, I sad wth sympathy, you
waked straght out of the front door, ke a
mascune Nora.
Nora he nqured potey, appar-
enty supposng t to be a Russan word.
I mean Nora n The Do s ouse, I
reped.
At ths he ooked very much astonshed,
and I knew he was an ngshman for ng-
shmen aways thnk that Russans study noth-
ng but ukases.
The Do s ouse he cred vehe-
menty, why, that s ust where Ibsen was so
wrong hy, the whoe am of a house s
to be a do s house. Don t you remember,
when you were a chd, how those tte wn-
dows were wndows, whe the bg wndows
weren t A chd has a do s house, and
shreks when a front door opens nwards. A
banker has a rea house, yet how numerous
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MANALI
are the bankers who fa to emt the fantest
shrek when ther rea front doors open
nwards.
Somethng from the fok-ore of my n-
fancy st kept me fooshy sent and before
I coud speak, the ngshman had eaned
over and was sayng n a sort of oud whsper,
I have found out how to make a bg thng
sma. I have found out how to turn a house
nto a do s house. Get a ong way off t.
God ets us turn a thngs nto toys by hs
great gft of dstance. Once et me see my
od brck house standng up qute tte aganst
the horzon, and I sha want to go back to t
agan. I sha see the funny tte toy amp-
post panted green outsde the gate and a
the dear tte peope ke dos ookng out
of the wndow. or the wndows reay open
n my do s house.
ut why I asked, shoud you wsh
to return to that partcuar do s house
avng taken, ke Nora, the bod step
aganst conventon, havng made yoursef n
the conventona sense dsreputabe, havng
dared to be free, why shoud you not take
advantage of your freedom As the greatest
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MANALI
modern wrters have ponted out, what you
caed your marrage was ony your mood.
You have a rght to eave t a behnd, ke
the cppngs of your har, or the parngs of
your nas. avng once escaped, you have
the word before you. Though the words
may seem strange to you, you are free n
Russa.
e sat wth hs dreamy eyes on the dark
crces of the pans, where the ony movng
thng was the ong and abourng tra of
smoke out of the raway engne, voet n
tnt, vocanc n outne, the one hot and heavy
coud of that cod cear evenng of pae green.
Yes, he sad wth a huge sgh, I am
free n Russa, you are rght. I coud reay
wak nto that town over there and have ove
a over agan, and perhaps marry some beau-
tfu woman and begn agan, and nobody
coud even fnd me. Yes, you have certany
convnced me of somethng.
s tone was so queer and mystca that
I fet mpeed to ask hm what he meant,
and of what e acty I had convnced hm.
You have convnced me, he sad, wth
the same dreamy eye, why t s reay wcked
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MANALI
and dangerous for a man to run away from hs
wfe.
And why s t dangerous I nqured.
hy, because nobody can fnd hm,
answered ths odd person, and we a want
to be found.
The most orgna modern thnkers, I
remarked, Ibsen, Gork, Netzsche, Shaw,
woud a say rather that what we want most
s to be ost. To fnd ourseves n untrodden
paths, and to do unprecedented thngs to
break wth the past and beong to the future.
e rose to hs whoe heght somewhat
seepy, and ooked round on what was, I con-
fess, a somewhat desoate scene the dark
purpe pans, the negected raroad, the few
ragged knots of the macontents. I sha
not fnd the house here, he sad. It s st
eastward further and further eastward.
Then he turned upon me wth somethng
ke fury, and struck the foot of hs poe upon
the frozen earth.
And f I do go back to my country,
he cred, I may be ocked up n a madhouse
before I reach my own house. I have been
a bt unconventona n my tme hy,
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MAN ALI
Netzsche stood n a row of ramrods n the
sy od Prussan army, and Shaw takes tem-
perance beverages n the suburbs but the
thngs I do are unprecedented thngs. Ths
round road I am treadng s an untrodden
path. I do beeve n breakng out I am a
revoutonst. ut don t you see that a these
rea eaps and destructons and escapes are
ony attempts to get back to den to some-
thng we have had, to somethng at east we
have heard of Don t you see one ony breaks
the fence or shoots the moon n order to get
home
No, I answered after due refecton.
I don t thnk I shoud accept that.
Ah, he sad wth a sort of sgh, then
you have e paned a second thng to me.
hat do you mean I asked what
thng
hy, your revouton has faed, he
sad, and wakng across qute suddeny to the
tran he got nto t ust as t was steamng.
Away at ast and I saw the ong snaky ta
of t dsappear aong the darkenng fats.
I saw no more of hm but though hs
vews were adverse to the best advanced
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thought, he struck me as an nterestng person.
I shoud ke to fnd out f he has produced
any terary works. Yours, etc.,
PAUL NCKOLAO ITC .
There was somethng n ths odd set of
gmpses nto foregn ves whch kept the
absurd trbuna queter than t had htherto
been, and t was agan wthout nterrupton
that Ingewood opened another paper upon hs
pe. The Court w be ndugent, he sad,
f the ne t note acks the speca ceremones
of our etter-wrtng. It s ceremonous
enough n ts own way.
The Ceesta Prncpes are permanent:
greetng. I am ong- , and I tend the
tempe of a the ancestors of my famy n
the forest of u. The man that broke
through the sky and came to me sad that t
must be very du, but I showed hm the
wrongness of hs thought. I am ndeed n
one pace, for my unce took me to ths tempe
when I was a boy, and n ths I sha doubtess
de. ut f a man reman n one pace he
sha see that the pace changes. The pagoda
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MANALI
of my tempe stands up senty out of a the
trees, ke a yeow pagoda above many green
pagodas. ut the skes are sometmes bue
ke porcean, and sometmes green ke ade,
and sometmes red ke garnet. ut the nght
s aways ebony, and aways returns, sad the
mperor o.
The sky-breaker came at evenng very
suddeny, for I had hardy seen any strrng
n the tops of the green trees over whch I
ook as over a sea, when I go to the top of the
tempe at mornng. And yet when he came,
t was as f an eephant had strayed from the
armes of the great kngs of Inda. or pams
snapped, and bamboos broke, and there came
forth n the sunshne before the tempe one
taer than the sons of men.
Strps of red and whte hung about hm
ke rbbons of a carnva, and he carred a
poe wth a row of teeth on t ke the teeth
of a dragon. s face was whte and dscom-
posed after the fashon of the foregners, so
that they ook ke dead men, fed wth devs
and he spoke our speech brokeny.
e sad to me, Ths s ony a tempe, I
am tryng to fnd a house. And then he tod
2 6
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MANALI
me wth ndecate haste that the amp outsde
hs home was green, and that there was a red
post at the corner of t.
I have not seen your house or any
houses, I answered. I dwe n ths tempe
and serve the gods.
Do you beeve n the gods he asked
wth hunger n hs eyes, ke the hunger of
dogs. And ths seemed to me a strange ques-
ton to ask, for what shoud a man do e cept
what men have done
My ord, I sad, t must be good for
men to hod up ther hands even f the skes
are empty. or f there are gods, they w
be peased, and f there are none, then there
are none to be dspeased. Sometmes the
skes are god and sometmes porphyry and
sometmes ebony, but the trees and the tempe
stand st under a. So the great Confucus
taught us that f we do aways the same thngs
wth our hands and our feet as do the wse
beasts and brds, wth our heads we may thnk
many thngs yes, my ord, and doubt many
thngs. So ong as men offer rce at the rght
season, and knde anterns at the rght hour,
t matters tte whether there be gods or no.
2 7
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MAN ALI
or these thngs are not to appease gods, but
to appease men.
e came yet coser to me, so that he
seemed enormous yet hs ook was very gente.
reak your tempe, he sad, and your
gods w be freed.
And I, smng at hs smpcty, an-
swered : And so, f there be no gods, I sha
have nothng but a broken tempe.
And at ths, that gant from whom the
ght of reason was wthhed threw out hs
mghty arms and asked me to forgve hm.
And when I asked hm for what he shoud be
forgven he answered: or beng rght.
Your dos and emperors are so od and
wse and satsfyng, he cred t s a shame
that they shoud be wrong. e are so vugar
and voent we have done you so many nqu-
tes t s a shame that we shoud be rght
after a.
And I, st endurng hs harmessness,
asked hm why he thought that he and hs
peope were rght.
And he answered, e are rght because
we are bound where men shoud be bound,
and free where men shoud be free. e are
2 8
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M A N A L I
rght because we doubt and destroy aws and
customs but we do not doubt our own rght
to destroy them. or you ve by customs, but
we by creeds. ehod me n my country I
am caed Smth. My country s abandoned,
my name s defed, because I pursue across the
word what reay beongs to me. You are
steadfast as the trees, because you do not be-
eve. I am as fcke as the tempest because
I do beeve. I do beeve n my own house,
whch I sha fnd agan. And at the ast
remaneth the green antern and the red post.
I sad to hm, At the ast remaneth ony
wsdom.
ut even as I sad the word he uttered
a horrbe shout, and rushng forward dsap-
peared among the trees. I have not seen ths
man agan nor any other man. The vrtues
of the wse are of fne brass.
ONG- .
The ne t etter I have to read, proceeded
Arthur Ingewood, w probaby make cear
the nature of our cent s curous but nnocent
e perment. It s dated from a mountan v-
age n Caforna, and runs as foows,
2 9
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e
MANALI
SIR, A person answerng to the rather
e traordnary descrpton requred certany
went, some tme ago, over the hgh pass of
the Serras, on whch I ve and of whch I
am probaby the soe statonary nhabtant. I
keep a rudmentary tavern, rather ruder than
a hut, on the very top of ths specay steep
and threatenng pass. My name s Lous
ara, and the very name may puzze you about
my natonaty. e, t puzzes me a great
dea. hen one has been for ffteen years
wthout socety t s hard to have patrotsm
and where there s not even a hamet t s df-
fcut to nvent a naton. My father was an
Irshman of the fercest and most free-shootng
of the od Caforna knd. My mother was
a Spanard, proud of descent from the od
Spansh fames round San rancsco, yet
accused for a that of some adm ture of Red
Indan bood. I was we educated and fond
of musc and books. ut ke many other
hybrds, I was too bad or too good for the
word and after attemptng many thngs, I
was gad enough to get a suffcent though a
oney vng n ths tte carabet n the moun-
tans. In my sotude I fe nto many of the
260
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e
M A N A LI :
ways of a savage. Lke an skmo I was
shapeess n wnter. Lke a Red Indan, I
wore n hot summers nothng but a par of
eather trousers, wth a great straw hat as bg
as a paraso to defend me from the sun. I
had a bowe knfe at my bet and a ong gun
under my arm and I dare say I produced a
pretty wd mpresson on the few peaceabe
traveers that coud cmb up to my pace.
ut I promse you I never ooked as mad as
that man dd. Compared to hm I was fth
Avenue.
I dare say that vng under the very tops
of the Serras has an odd effect on the mnd
one tends to thnk of those ast oney rocks
not as peaks comng to a pont, but rather as
pars hodng up heaven tsef. Straght
cffs sa up and away beyond the hope of the
eages cffs so ta that they seem to attract
the stars and coect them as sea-crags coect
a mere gtter of phosphorous. These ter-
races and towers of rock do not, ke smaer
crests, seem to be the end of the word. Rather
they seem to be ts awfu begnnng: ts huge
foundatons. e coud amost fancy the
mountan branchng out above us ke a tree
261
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e
MANALI
of stone, and carryng a those cosmc ghts
ke a candeabrum. or ust as the peaks
faed us, soarng mpossby far, so the stars
crowded us (as t seemed), comng mpossby
near. The spheres burst about us more ke
thunderbots hured at the earth than panets
crcng pacdy about t.
A ths may have drven me mad: I
am not sure. I know there s one ange of
the road down the pass where the rock eans
out a tte and on wndy nghts I seem to
hear t cashng overhead wth other rocks
yes, cty aganst cty and ctade aganst ctade,
far up nto the nght. It was on such an even-
ng that the strange man strugged up the pass.
roady speakng, ony strange men dd strug-
ge up the pass. ut I had never seen one ke
ths one before.
e carred (I cannot conceve why) a
ong, dapdated garden rake, a bearded and
bedragged wth grasses, so that t ooked ke
the ensgn of some od barbaran trbe. s
har, whch was as ong and rank as the grass,
hung down beow hs huge shouders and
such cothes as cung about hm were rags and
tongues of red and yeow, so that he had the
262
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e
MANALI
ar of beng dressed ke an Indan n feathers
or autumn eaves. The rake or ptchfork, or
whatever t was, he used sometmes as an
apenstock, sometmes (I was tod) as a
weapon. I do not know why he shoud have
used t as a weapon, for he had, and afterwards
showed me, an e ceent s -shooter n hs
pocket. ut that he sad, I use ony for
peacefu purposes. I have no noton what
he meant.
e sat down on the rough bench outsde
my nn and drank some wne from the vne-
yards beow sghng wth ecstasy over t
ke one who had traveed ong among aen
crue thngs and found at ast somethng that
he knew. Then he sat starng rather fooshy
at the rude antern of ead and cooured gass
that hangs over my door. It s od but of no
vaue, my grandmother gave t me ong ago:
she was devout, and t happens that the gass
s panted wth a crude pcture of ethehem
and the se Men and the Star. e seemed
so mesmerzed wth the transparent gow of
Our Lady s bue gown and the bg god star
behnd, that he ed me aso to ook at the thng,
whch I had not done for fourteen years.
263
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e
MANALI
Then he sowy wthdrew hs eyes from
ths and ooked out eastward where the road
fe away beow us. The sunset sky was a
vaut of rch voet, fadng away nto mauve
and sver round the edges of the dark moun-
tan amphtheatre, and between us and the
ravne beow rose up out of the deeps and went
up nto the heghts the straght sotary rock
we ca Green nger. Of a queer vocanc
coour, and wrnked a over wth what ooks
undecpherabe wrtng, t hung there ke a
abyonan par or neede.
The man senty stretched out hs rake
n that drecton and before he spoke I knew
what he meant. eyond the great green rock
n the purpe sky hung a snge star.
A star n the ast, he sad n a strange
hoarse voce ke one of our ancent eage s,
the wse men foowed the star and found the
house. ut f I foowed the star, shoud I
fnd the house
It depends perhaps, I sad, smng,
on whether you are a wse man. I refraned
from addng that he certany ddn t ook t.
You may udge for yoursef, he an-
swered, I am a man who eft hs own house
264
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MANALI
because he coud no onger bear to be away
from t.
It certany sounds parado ca, I sad.
I heard my wfe and chdren takng
and saw them movng about the room, he
contnued, and a the tme I knew they were
wakng and takng n another house thou-
sands of mes away, under the ght of dffer-
ent skes, and beyond the seres of the seas. I
oved them wth a devourng ove, because
they seemed not ony dstant but unattanabe.
Never dd human creatures seem so dear and
so desrabe: but I seemed ke a cod ghost.
I oved them ntoeraby therefore, I cast off
ther dust from my feet for a testmony. Nay,
I dd more. I spurned the word under my
feet so that t swung fu crce ke a tread-
m.
Do you reay mean, I cred, that you
have come rght round the word Your
speech s ngsh, yet you are comng from
the west.
My pgrmage s not yet accompshed,
he reped sady I have become a pgrm to
cure mysef of beng an e e.
Somethng n the word pgrm awoke
26
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MANAL I Y
down n the roots of my runous e perence,
memores of what my fathers had fet about
the word, and of somethng from whence I
came. I ooked agan at the tte pctured
antern at whch I had not ooked for fourteen
years.
My grandmother, I sad n a ow tone,
woud have sad that we were a n e e,
and that no earthy house coud cure the hoy
homesckness that forbds us rest.
e was sent a ong whe, and watched
a snge eage drft out beyond the Green
nger nto the darkenng vod.
Then he sad, I thnk your grandmother
was rght, and stood up eanng on hs grassy
poe. I thnk that must be the reason, he
sad, the secret of ths fe of man, so ecstatc
and so unappeased. ut I thnk there s more
to be sad. I thnk God has gven us the ove
of speca paces, of a hearth and of a natve
and, for a good reason.
I dare say, I sad, what reason
ecause otherwse, he sad, pontng
hs poe out at the sky and the abyss, we
mght worshp that.
266
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hat do you mean I demanded.
ternty, he sad n hs harsh voce,
the argest of the dos the mghtest of the
rvas of God.
You mean panthesm and nfnty and
a that, I suggested.
I mean, he sad wth ncreasng vehe-
mence, that f there be a house for me n
heaven t w ether have a green amp-post
and a hedge, or somethng qute as postve
and persona as a green amp-post and a hedge.
I mean that God bade me ove one spot and
serve t, and do a thngs however wd n
prase of t, so that ths one spot mght be a
wtness aganst a the nfntes and the sophs-
tres, that Paradse s somewhere and not any-
where, s somethng and not anythng. And
I woud not be so very much surprsed f the
house n heaven had a rea green amp-post
after a.
th whch he shoudered hs poe and
went strdng down the perous paths beow,
and eft me aone wth the eages. ut snce
he went a fever of homeessness w often
shake me. I am troubed by rany meadows
267
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and mud cabns I have never seen and I won-
der whether Amerca w endure. Yours
fathfuy,
Lous ARA.
After a short sence Ingewood sad: And
fnay, we desre to put n as evdence the
foowng document,
Ths s to say that I am Ruth Davs, and
have been housemad to Mrs. I. Smth at The
Laures n Croydon for the ast s months.
hen I came the ady was aone wth two
chdren she was not a wdow, but her hus-
band was away. She was eft wth penty of
money and dd not seem dsturbed about hm,
though she often hoped he woud be back
soon. She sad he was rather eccentrc and a
tte change dd hm good. One evenng ast
week I was brngng the tea-thngs out on to
the awn when I neary dropped them. The
end of a ong rake was suddeny stuck over
the hedge, and panted ke a umpng-poe
and over the hedge, ust ke a monkey on a
stck, came a huge horrbe man, a hary and
ragged ke Robnson Crusoe. I screamed
268
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out, but my mstress ddn t even get out of her
char but smed and sad he wanted shavng.
Then he sat down qute camy at the garden
tabe and took a cup of tea, and then I reazed
that ths must be Mr. Smth hmsef. e has
stopped here ever snce and does not reay
gve much troube, though I sometmes fancy
he s a tte weak n hs head.
RUT DA IS.
P.S. I forgot to say that he ooked round
at the garden and sad, very oud and strong,
Oh, what a ovey pace you ve got ust as
f he d never seen t before.
The room had been growng dark and
drowsy the afternoon sun sent one heavy shaft
of powdered god across t, whch fe wth an
ntangbe soemnty upon the empty seat of
Mary Gray for the younger women had eft
the court before the more recent of the nves-
tgatons. Mrs. Duke was st aseep, and
Innocent Smth, ookng ke a huge hunch-
back n the twght, was bendng coser and
coser to hs paper toys. ut the fve men
reay engaged n the controversy, and con-
cerned not to convnce the trbuna but to
269
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convnce each other, st sat round the tabe
ke the Commttee of Pubc Safety.
Suddeny Moses Goud banged one bg
scentfc book on top of another, cocked hs
tte egs up aganst the tabe, tpped hs char
backwards so far as to be n drect danger of
fang over, emtted a startng and proonged
whste ke a steam engne, and asserted that
t was a hs eye.
hen asked by Moon what was a hs eye,
he banged down behnd the books agan and
answered wth consderabe e ctement, throw-
ng hs papers about, A those fary-taes
you ve been readng out, he sad. Oh 1 don t
tak to me 1 I an t ttery and that, but I know
fary-taes when I hear em. I got a bt
stumped n some of the phosophca bts and
fet ncned to go out for a and S. ut
we re vng n est Ampstead and not n
and the ong and the short of t s that
some thngs appen and some thngs don t
appen. Those are the thngs that don t
appen.
I thought, sad Moon gravey, that we
qute ceary e paned
Oh, yes, od chap, you qute ceary
270
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e paned, assented Mr. Goud, wth e traor-
dnary voubty you d e pan an eephant
off the doorstep, you woud. I an t a cever
chap ke you but I an t a born natura,
Mchae Moon, and when there s an eephant
on my doorstep I don t sten to no e pana-
tons. It s got a trunk, I says. My trunk,
you says. I m fond of traven and a change
does me good. ut the basted thng s got
tusks, I says. Don t ook a gft orse n the
mouth, you says, but thank the goodness and
the grace that on your brth as smed.
ut t s neary as bg as the ouse, I says.
That s the boomn perspectve, you says,
and the sacred magc of dstance. hy,
the eephant s trumpetn ke the Day of
|udgment, I says. That s your own con-
scence a takn to you, Moses Goud, you
says n a grve and tender voce. e, I
ave got a conscence as much as you I don t
beeve most of the thngs they te you n
church on Sundays and I don t beeve these
ere thngs any more because you goes on about
em as f you was n church. I beeve an
eephant s a great bg, ugy, dngerous beast
and I beeve Smth s another.
271
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MANALI
Do you mean to say, asked Ingewood,
that you st doubt the evdence of e cupa-
ton we have brought forward
Yes, I do st doubt t, sad Goud
warmy. It s a a bt too far-fetched, and
some of t a bt too far off. Ow can we test
a those taes Ow can we drop n and buy
the Pnk Un at the raway staton at Kosky
osky or whatever t was Ow can we go
and do a garge at that saoon-bar on top of
the Serra Mountans ut anybody can go
and see untng s boardng-house at orth-
ng.
Moon regarded hm wth an e presson of
rea or assumed surprse.
Any one, contnued Goud, can ca on
Mr. Trp.
It s a comfortng thought, reped
Mchae, wth restrant, but why shoud any
one ca on Mr. Trp
or ust e acty the sme reason, cred
the e cted Moses, hammerng on the tabe
wth both hands, for ust e acty the sme
reason that he shoud communcate wth
Messrs. Anbury and oote of Paternoster
Row and wth Mss Grdey s gh cass Acad-
272
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emy at ndn, and wth od Lady ungdon
who ves at Penge.
Agan, to go at once to the mora roots
of fe, sad Mchae, why s t among the
dutes of man to communcate wth od Lady
ungdon who ves at Penge
It an t one of the dutes of man, sad
Goud, nor one of hs peasures ether, I can
te you. She takes the crumpet, does Lady
ungdon at Penge. ut t s one of the
dutes of a prosecutor pursun the nnocent,
bameess butterfy career of your frend
Smth, and t s the sme wth a the others I
mentoned.
ut why do you brng n these peope
here asked Ingewood.
hy, because we ve got proof enough to
snk a steamboat, roared Moses. ecause
I ve got the papers n my very and, because
your precous Innocent s a backguard and
ome smasher, and these are the omes he s
smashed. I don t set up for an oy man but
I woudn t ave a those poor grs on my con-
scence for somethng. And I thnk a chap
that s capabe of desertn and perhaps kn
em a, s about capabe of crackn a crb or
. 273
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shootn an od schoomaster so I don t care
much about the other yarns one way or an-
other.
I thnk, sad Dr. Cyrus Pym, wth a
refned cough, that we are approachng ths
matter rather rreguary. Ths s reay the
fourth charge on the charge sheet, and perhaps
I had better put t before you n an ordered
and scentfc manner.
Nothng but a fanf groan from Mchae
broke the sence of the darkenng room.
274
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C APT R I
T ILD DDINGS OR, T POLYGAMY
C ARG
A MOD RN man, sad Dr. Cyrus
/ . Pym, must f he be thoughtfu
approach the probem of marrage wth some
cauton. Marrage s a stage doubtess a
sutabe stage n the ong advance of manknd
towards a goa whch we cannot as yet con-
ceve whch we are not, perhaps, yet ftted
even to desre. hat, gentemen, s now the
ethca poston of marrage ave we out-
ved t
Outved t broke out Moon. hy,
nobody s even survved t Look at a the
peope marred snce Adam and ve and a
as dead as mutton.
Ths s no doubt an nterpeaton oc ar
n ts character, sad Dr. Pym frgdy. I
cannot te what may be Mr. Moon s matured
and ethca vew of marrage
27
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MANALI
I can te, sad Mchae savagey, out of
the goom marrage s a due to the death
whch no man of honour shoud decne.
Mchae, sad Arthur Ingewood n a ow
voce, you must keep quet.
Mr. Moon, sad Pym wth e quste good
temper, probaby regards the nsttuton n a
more antquated manner. Probaby he woud
make t strngent and unform. e woud
treat dvorce n some great sou of stee the
dvorce of a |uus Caesar or of a Sat-kng
Robnson e acty as he woud treat some no-
account tramp or abourer who scoots from
hs wfe. Scence has vews broader and more
humane. |ust as murder for the scentst s a
thrst for absoute destructon, ust as theft for
the scentst s a hunger for monotonous acqu-
ston, so poygamy for the scentst s an
e treme deveopment of the nstnct for var-
ety. A man thus affcted s ncapabe of
constancy. Doubtess there s a physca cause
for ths fttng from fower to fower as there
s doubtess for the ntermttent groanng
whch appears to affct Mr. Moon at the
present moment. Our own word-scornng
nterbottom has even dared to say, or a
276
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MANALI
certan rare and fne physca type free poyg-
amy s but the reazaton of the varety of
femaes, as comradeshp s the reazaton of
the varety of maes. In any case, the type
that tends to varety s recognzed by a
authortatve nqurers. Such a type, f the
wdower of a negress, does n many ascertaned
cases espouse en seconde noces an abno such
a type, when freed from the ggantc embraces
of a femae Patagonan, w often evove from
ts own magnatve nstnct the consong
fgure of an skmo. To such a type there can
be no doubt that the prsoner beongs. If
bnd doom and unbearabe temptaton con-
sttute any sght e cuse for a man, there s
no doubt that he has these e cuses.
arer n the nqury, the defence showed
rea chvarc deaty n admttng haf of our
story wthout further dspute. e shoud
ke to acknowedge and mtate so emnenty
arge-hearted a stye by concedng aso that
the story tod by Curate Percy about the canoe,
the wer, and the young wfe seems to be sub-
stantay true. Apparenty Smth dd marry
a young woman he had neary run down n a
boat t ony remans to be consdered whether
277
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MANALI
t woud not have been knder of hm to have
murdered her nstead of marryng her. In
confrmaton of ths fact I can now concede
to the defence an unquestonabe record of
such a marrage.
So sayng, he handed across to Mchae a
cuttng from the Madenhead Gazette, whch
dstncty recorded the marrage of the daugh-
ter of a coach, a tutor we known n the
pace, to Mr. Innocent Smth, ate of rake-
speare Coege, Cambrdge.
hen Dr. Pym resumed t was reazed that
hs face had grown at once both tragc and
trumphant.
I pause upon ths premnary fact, he
sad serousy, because ths fact aone woud
gve us the vctory, were we asprng after
vctory and not after truth. As far as the
persona and domestc probem hods us, that
probem s soved. Dr. arner and I entered
ths house at an nstant of hghy emotona
dff cuty. ngand s arner has entered
many houses to save human knd from sck-
ness ths tme he entered to save an nnocent
ady from a wakng pestence. Smth was
ust about to carry away a young gr from ths
278
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MANALI
house hs cab and bag were at the very door.
e had tod her she was gong to awat the
marrage cence at the house of hs aunt. That
aunt, contnued Cyrus Pym, hs face darken-
ng grandy, that vsonary aunt had been
the dancng w-o -the-wsp who had ed many
a hgh-soued maden to her doom. Into how
many vrgna ears has he whspered that hoy
word hen he sad aunt there gowed
about her a the merrment and hgh moraty
of the Ango-Sa on home. Kettes began to
hum, pussy cats to purr, n that very wd cab
that was beng drven to destructon.
Ingewood ooked up, to fnd, to hs aston-
shment (as many another denzen of the
eastern hemsphere has found), that the Amer-
can was not ony perfecty serous, but was
reay eoquent and affectng when the df-
ference of the hemspheres was ad usted.
It s, therefore, atrocousy evdent that the
man Smth has at east represented hmsef to
one nnocent femae of ths house as an egbe
bacheor, beng n fact a marred man. I
agree wth my coeague, Mr. Goud, that no
other crme coud appro mate to ths. As
to whether what our ancestors caed purty
279
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MANALI
has any utmate ethca vaue ndeed, scence
hestates wth a hgh, proud hestaton. ut
what hestaton can there be about the baseness
of a ctzen who ventures, by bruta e per-
ments upon vng femaes, to antcpate the
verdct of scence on such a pont
The woman mentoned by Curate Percy
as vng wth Smth n ghbury, may or
may not be the same as the ady he marred
n Madenhead. If one short sweet spe of
constancy and heart repose nterrupted the
pungng torrent of hs profgate fe, we w
not deprve hm of that ong past possbty.
After that con ectura date, aas, he seems to
have punged deeper and deeper nto the
shakng quagmres of nfdety and shame.
Dr. Pym cosed hs eyes: but the unfor-
tunate fact that there was no more ght eft
ths famar sgna wthout ts fu and proper
mora effect. After a pause, whch amost
partook of the character of prayer, he con-
tnued,
The frst nstance of the accused s repeated
and rreguar nuptas, he e camed, comes
from Lady ungdon who e presses her-
sef wth the hgh haughtness whch must be
280
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MANALI.
e cused n those who ook out upon a man-
knd from the turrets of a Norman and
ancestra keep. The communcaton she has
sent to us runs as foows,
Lady ungdon recas the panfu nc-
dent to whch reference s made, and has no
desre to dea wth t n deta. The gr,
Poy Green, was a perfecty adequate dress-
maker, and ved n the vage for about two
years. er unattached condton was bad for
her as we as for the genera moraty of the
vage. Lady ungdon, therefore, aowed
t to be understood that she favoured the mar-
rage of the young woman. The vagers
naturay wshng to obge Lady ungdon,
came forward n severa cases and a woud
have been we had t not been for the depor-
abe eccentrcty or depravty of the gr Green
hersef. Lady ungdon supposes that
where there s a vage there must be a vage
dot and n her vage, t seems, there was
one of these wretched creatures. Lady u-
ngdon ony saw hm once and she s qute
aware that t s reay dffcut to dstngush
between actua dots and the ordnary heavy
281
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MANALI
type of the rura ower casses. She notced,
however, the startng smaness of hs head
n comparson to the rest of hs body and,
ndeed, the fact of hs havng appeared upon
eecton day wearng the rosette of both the
two opposng partes appears to Lady u-
ngdon to put the matter beyond a doubt.
Lady ungdon was astounded to earn that
ths affcted beng had put hmsef forward
as one of the sutors of the gr n queston.
Lady ungdon s nephew ntervewed the
wretch upon the pont, teng hm that he was
a donkey to dream of such a thng, and actuay
receved, aong wth an mbece grn, the
answer that donkeys generay go after car-
rots. ut Lady ungdon was yet further
amazed to fnd the unhappy gr ncned to
accept ths monstrous proposa though she
was actuay asked n marrage by Garth, the
undertaker, a man n a far superor poston
to her own. Lady ungdon coud not, of
course, countenance such an arrangement for
a moment, and the two unhappy persons
escaped for a candestne marrage. Lady
ungdon cannot e acty reca the man s
name, but thnks t was Smth. e was
282
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MANALI
aways caed n the vage the Innocent.
Later, Lady ungdon beeves he murdered
Green n a menta outbreak.
The ne t communcaton, proceeded
Pym, s more conspcuous for brevty, but
I am of opnon that t w adequatey convey
ts upshot. It s dated from the offces of
Messrs. anbury and oote, pubshers, and
s as foows,
SR, Yrs red and conts noted. Ru-
mour re typewrter possby refers to a Mss
ake or smar name, eft here nne years
ago to marry an organ-grnder. Case was un-
doubtedy curous and attracted poce atten-
ton. Gr worked e ceenty t about Oct.
1907, when apparenty went mad. Record
was wrtten at the tme, part of whch I en-
cose. Yrs., etc., w TRIp ,
,
The fuer statement runs as foows :
On October 12 a etter was sent from ths
offce to Messrs. ernard and |uke, book-
bnders. Opened by Mr. |uke t was found
to contan the foowng, Sr, our Mr. Trp
283
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MANALI
w ca at 3 as we wsh to know whether t
s reay decded 00000073 y. To
ths Mr. |uke, a person of payfu mnd, re-
turned the answer. Sr, after consutng a
the members of the frm, I am n a poston to
gve t as my most decded opnon that t s
not reay decded that 000000736 y.
Yrs., etc.,
|. |UK .
On recevng ths e traordnary repy,
our Mr. Trp asked for the orgna etter sent
from hm, and found that the typewrter had
ndeed substtuted these demented hero-
gyphcs for the sentences reay dctated to
her. Our Mr. Trp ntervewed the gr
fearng that she was n an unbaanced state,
and was not much reassured when she merey
remarked that she aways went ke that when
she heard the barre-organ. ecomng yet
more hysterca and e travagant, she made a
seres of most mprobabe statements, as that
she was engaged to the barre-organ man, that
he was n the habt of serenadng her on that
nstrument, that she was n the habt of pay-
ng back to hm upon the typewrter (n the
284
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M A N A.L I
stye of Kng Rchard and onde), and that
the organ man s musca ear was so e quste
and hs adoraton of hersef so ardent that he
coud detect the note of the dfferent etters on
the machne, and was enraptured by them as
by a meody. To a these statements of
course our Mr. Trp and the rest of us ony
pad that sort of assent that s pad to persons
who must as qucky as possbe be put n the
charge of ther reatons. ut on our con-
ductng the ady downstars, her story receved
the most startng and even e asperatng con-
frmaton for the organ-grnder, an enormous
man wth a sma head and manfesty a fe-
ow-unatc, had pushed hs barre-organ n
at the offce doors ke a batterng-ram, and
was bosterousy demandng hs aeged
fancee. hen I mysef came on the scene
he was fngng hs great, ape-ke arms about
and rectng a poem to her. ut we were
used to unatcs comng and rectng poems n
our offce, and we were not qute prepared
for what foowed. The actua verse he
uttered began, I thnk,
A vvd, nvoate head
Rnged
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MANALI
but he never got any further. Mr. Trp made
a sharp movement towards hm, and the ne t
moment the gant pcked up the poor ady
typewrter ke a do, sat her on top of the
organ, ran t wth a crash out of the offce
doors and raced away down the street ke a
fyng wheebarrow. I ve put the poce upon
the matter but no trace of the amazng par
coud ever be found. I was sorry mysef for
the ady was not ony peasant but unusuay
cutvated for her poston. As I am eavng
the servce of Messrs. anbury and oote,
I put these thngs n a record and eave t wth
them.
(Sgned) AU R Y CLARK ,
Pubshers Reader.
And the ast document, sad Dr. Pym
compacenty, s from one of those hgh-
soued women who have n ths age ntroduced
your ngsh grhood to hockey, the hgher
mathematcs, and every form of deaty.
D AR SIR (she wrtes), I have no ob-
ecton to teng you the facts about the absurd
ncdent you menton, though I woud ask you
286
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to communcate them wth some cauton, for
such thngs, however entertanng n the ab-
stract, are not aways au ary to the success
of a grs schoo. The truth s ths: I
wanted some one to dever a ecture on a
phoogca or hstorca queston, a ecture
whch, whe contanng sod educatona mat-
ter, shoud be a tte more popuar and enter-
tanng than usua, as t was the ast ecture of
the term. I remembered that a Mr. Smth,
of Cambrdge, had wrtten somewhere or
other an amazng essay about hs own some-
what ubqutous name, an essay whch showed
consderabe rea knowedge of geneaogy and
topography. I wrote to hm, askng f he
woud come and gve us a brght address upon
ngsh surnames, and he dd. It was very
brght, amost too brght. To put the matter
otherwse, by the tme that he was haf-way
through t became apparent to the other ms-
tresses and mysef that the man was totay and
entrey off hs head. e began ratonay
enough by deang wth the two departments
of pace names and trade names, and he sad
(qute rghty, I dare say) that the oss of a
sgnfcance n names was an nstance of the
287
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deadenng of cvzaton. ut he then went
on camy to mantan that every man who had
a pace name ought to go to ve n that pace,
and that every man who had a trade name
ought nstanty to adopt that trade that peope
named after coours shoud aways dress n
those coours, and that peope named after
trees or pants (such as eech or Rose) ought
to surround and decorate themseves wth these
vegetabes. In a sght dscusson that arose
afterwards among the eder grs, the dffcu-
tes of the proposa were ceary, and even
eagery, ponted out. It was urged, for n-
stance, by Mss Younghusband that t was
substantay mpossbe for her to pay the
part assgned to her Mss Mann was n a
smar demma, from whch no modern vews
on the se es coud apparenty e trcate her
and some young ades, whose surnames hap-
pened to be Low, Coward, and Craven, were
qute enthusastc aganst the dea. ut a
ths happened afterwards. hat happened
at the cruca moment was that the ecturer
produced severa horseshoes and a arge ron
hammer from hs bag, announced hs mme-
date ntenton of settng up a smthy n the
288
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MANALI
neghbourhood, and caed on every one to rse
n the same cause as for a heroc revouton.
The other mstresses and I attempted to stop
the wretched man, but I must confess that by
an accdent ths very ntercesson produced the
worst e poson of hs nsanty. e was wav-
ng the hammer, and wdy demandng the
names of everybody and t so happened that
Mss rown, one of the grs, was wear-
ng a brown dress a reddsh-brown dress
that went quety enough wth the warmer
coour of her har, as we she knew. She was
a nce gr, and nce grs do know about those
thngs. ut when our manac dscovered that
we reay had a Mss rown who was brown,
hs dee f e bew up ke a powder magazne,
and there, n the presence of a the mstresses
and grs, he pubcy proposed to the ady n
the red-brown dress. You can magne the
effect of such a scene at a grs schoo. At
east, f you fa to magne t, I certany fa
to descrbe t.
Of course the anarchy ded down n a
week or two, and I can thnk of t now as a
oke. There was ony one curous deta,
whch I w te you as you say your nqury
9 289
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s vta, but I shoud desre you to consder t
a tte more confdenta than the rest. Mss
rown, who was an e ceent gr n every way,
dd qute suddeny and surrepttousy eave us
ony a day or two afterwards. I shoud never
have thought that her head woud be the one
to be reay turned by so absurd an e ctement.
eeve me, yours fathfuy,
ADA GRIDL Y.
I thnk, sad Pym wth a reay convncng
smpcty and serousness, that these etters
speak for themseves.
Mr. Moon rose for the ast tme n a dark-
ness that gave no hnt of whether hs natve
gravty was m ed wth hs natve rony.
Throughout ths nqury, he sad, but
especay n ths ts cosng phase, the prosecu-
ton has perpetuay reed on one argument
I mean the fact that no one knows what has
become of a the unhappy women apparenty
seduced by Smth. There s no sort of proof
that they were murdered, but that mpcaton
s perpetuay made when the queston s asked
as to how they ded. Now I am not nterested
n how they ded, or when they ded, or
290
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whether they ded. ut I am nterested n
another anaogous queston that of how they
were born, and when they were born, and
whether they were born. Do not msunder-
stand me. I do not dspute the e stence of
these women, or the veracty of those who have
wtnessed to them. I merey remark on the
notabe fact that ony one of these vctms, the
Madenhead gr, s descrbed as havng any
home or parents. A the rest are boarders or
brds of passage a guest, a sotary dress-
maker, a bacheor-gr dong typewrtng.
Lady ungdon, ookng from her turrets,
whch she bought from the hartons wth the
od soap-boer s money when she umped at
marryng an unsuccessfu genteman from
Uster Lady ungdon, ookng out from
those turrets, dd reay see an ob ect whch
she descrbes as Green. Mr. Trp, of an-
bury ootes, reay dd have a typewrter
betrothed to Smth. Mss Grdey, though
deastc, s absoutey honest. She dd house,
feed, and teach a young woman, whom Smth
succeeded n decoyng away. e admt that
a these women reay ved. ut we st ask
whether they were ever born
291
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Oh, crkey, sad Moses Goud, stfed wth
amusement.
There coud hardy, nterposed Pym, wth
a quet sme, be a better nstance of the neg-
ect of true scentfc processes. The scentst,
when once convnced of the fact of vtaty and
conscousness, woud nfer from these the
prevous processes of generaton.
If these gas, sad Goud mpatenty f
these gas were a ave (a ave O ) I d
chance a fver they were a born.
You d ose your fver, sad Mchae, speak-
ng gravey out of the goom. A those
admrabe ades were ave. They were
more ave for havng come nto contact wth
Smth. They were a qute defntey ave,
but ony one of them was ever born.
Are you askng us to beeve began Dr.
Pym.
I am askng you a second queston, sad
Moon sterny. Can the court now sttng
throw any ght on a truy snguar crcum-
stance Dr. Pym n hs nterestng ecture on
what are caed, I beeve, the reatons of the
se es, sad that Smth was the save of a ust
for varety whch woud ead a man frst to a
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negress and then to an abno, frst to a Pata-
gonan gantess and then to a tny skmo.
ut s there any evdence of such varety here
Is there any trace of a ggantc Patagonan n
the story as the typewrter an skmo
So pcturesque a crcumstance woud not
surey have escaped remark. as Lady u-
ngdon s dressmaker a negress A voce n
my bosom answers, No Lady ungdon,
I am sure, woud thnk a negress so conspcu-
ous as to be amost socastc, and woud fee
somethng a tte raksh even about an abno.
ut was there n Smth s taste any such
varety as the earned doctor descrbes So
far as our sght materas go, the very oppo-
ste seems to be the case. e have ony one
actua descrpton of any of the prsoner s
wves the short but hghy poetc account by
the aesthetc curate. er dress was the coour
of sprng and her har of autumn eaves.
Autumn eaves, of course, are of varous co-
ours, some of whch woud be rather startng
n har (green, for nstance) but I thnk such
an e presson woud be most naturay used of
the shades from red-brown to red, especay
as ades wth ther coppery-cooured har do
293
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MANALI
frequenty wear ght artstc greens. Now
when we come to the ne t wfe, we fnd the
eccentrc over, when tod he s a donkey,
answerng that donkeys aways go after car-
rots a remark whch Lady ungdon ev-
denty regarded as pontess and part of the
natura tabe-tak of a vage dot, but whch
has an obvous meanng f we suppose that
Poy s har was red. Passng to the ne t
wfe, the one he took from the grs schoo,
we fnd Mss Grdey notcng that the schoo-
gr n queston wore a reddsh-brown dress,
that went quety enough wth the warmer
coour of her har. In other words, the co-
our of the gr s har was somethng redder
than red-brown. Lasty, the romantc organ-
grnder decamed n the offce some poetry
that ony got as far as the words,
O vvd nvoate head
Rnged
ut I thnk a wde study of the worst modern
poets w enabe us to guess that rnged wth
a gory of red, or rnged wth ts passonate
red was the ne that rhymed to head. In
ths case once more, therefore, there s good
294
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MANALI
reason to suppose that Smth, free n ove wth
a gr wth some sort of auburn or darksh red
har rather, he sad, ookng down at the
tabe, rather ke Mss Gray s har.
Cyrus Pym was eanng forward wth ow-
ered eyeds, ready wth one of hs more
pedantc nterpoatons, but Moses Goud sud-
deny struck hs forefnger on hs nose, wth an
e presson of e treme astonshment and nte-
gence n hs brant eyes.
Mr. Moon s contenton at present, nter-
posed Pym, s not, even f veracous, ncon-
sstent wth the unatco-crmna vew of I.
Smth, whch we have naed to the mast.
Scence has ong antcpated such a compca-
ton. An ncurabe attracton to a partcuar
type of physca woman s one of the common-
est of crmna perverstes, and when not con-
sdered narrowy, but n the ght of nducton
and evouton
At ths ate stage, sad Mchae Moon
very quety, I may perhaps reeve mysef
of a smpe emoton that has been pressng me
throughout the proceedngs, by sayng that
nducton and evouton may go and bo
themseves. The Mssng Lnk and a that
29
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MANALI
s we enough for kds but I m takng about
thngs we know. A we know of the Mssng
Lnk s that he s mssng and he won t be
mssed ether. I know a about hs human
head and hs horrd ta they beong to a very
od game caed eads I wn, tas you ose.
If you do fnd a feow s bones, t proves he
ved a ong whe ago f you don t fnd hs
bones t proves how ong ago he ved. That
s the game you ve been payng wth ths
Smth affar. ecause Smth s head s sma
for hs shouders you ca hm Mcroceph-
aous. If t had been arge, you d have caed
t ater-on-the-bran. As ong as poor od
Smth s serago seemed pretty varous, varety
was the sgn of madness. Now because t s
turnng out to be a bt monochrome, now
monotony s the sgn of madness. I suffer
from a the dsadvantages of beng a grown-
up person, and I m oy we gong to get
some of the advantages, too, and wth a pote-
ness I propose not to be bued wth ong
words nstead of short reasons, or consder
your busness a trumphant progress merey
because you re aways fndng out that you
were wrong. avng reeved mysef of
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MANALI
these feengs, I have merey to add that I
regard Dr. Pym as an ornament to the word
far more beautfu than the Parthenon or the
monument on unker s , and that I pro-
pose to resume and concude my remarks on
the many marrages of Mr. Innocent Smth.
esdes ths red har, there s another un-
fyng thread that runs through these scattered
ncdents. There s somethng very pecuar
and suggestve about the names of these
women. Mr. Trp, you w remember, sad
he thought the typewrter s name was ake,
but coud not remember e acty. I suggest
that t mght very we have been ack, and
n that case we have a curous seres: Mss
Green n Lady ungdon s vage Mss
rown at the endon Schoo Mss ack at
the pubshers. A choce of coour as t were
whch ends up wth Mss Gray at eacon
ouse, est ampstead.
Amd a dead sence Moon contnued hs
e poston. hat s the meanng of ths
queer concdence about coours Personay
I cannot doubt for a moment that these names
are purey arbtrary names, assumed as part of
some genera scheme or oke. I thnk t very
297
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MAN ALI
probabe that they were taken from a seres of
costumes that Poy Green ony meant Poy
(or Mary) when n green, and that Mary Gray
ony means Mary (or Poy) when n gray.
Ths woud e pan
Cyrus Pym was standng up rgd and amost
pad. Do you actuay mean to suggest
he cred.
Yes, sad Mchae. I do mean to sug-
gest that. Innocent Smth has had many woo-
ngs and many weddngs, for a I know but he
has had ony one wfe. She was sttng on that
char an hour ago, and s now takng to Mss
Duke n the garden.
Yes, Innocent Smth has behaved here, as
he has on hundreds of other occasons, upon a
pan and perfecty bameess prncpe. It s
odd and e travagant n the modern word, but
not more than any other prncpe pany ap-
ped n the modern word woud be. s
prncpe can be qute smpy stated: he refuses
to de whe he s st ave. e seeks to re-
mnd hmsef by every eectrc shock to the
nteect that he s st a man ave, wakng
on two egs about the word. or ths reason
he fres buets at hs best frends for ths rea-
298
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MANALI
son he arranges adders and coapsbe chm-
neys to stea hs own property for ths reason
he goes poddng round a whoe panet to get
back to hs own home. And for ths reason
he has been n the habt of takng the woman
whom he oved wth a permanent oyaty, and
eavng her about (so to speak) at schoos,
boardng-houses, and paces of busness, so that
he mght recover her agan and agan wth a
rad and a romantc eopement. e serousy
sought by a perpetua recapture of hs brde
to keep ave the sense of her perpetua vaue,
and the pers that shoud be run for her
sake.
So far hs motves are cear enough but
perhaps hs convctons are not qute so cear.
I thnk Innocent Smth has an dea at the bot-
tom of a ths. I am by no means sure that I
beeve t mysef, but I am qute sure that t s
worth a man s aterng and defendng.
The dea that Smth s attackng s ths.
Lvng n an entanged cvzaton, we have
come to thnk certan thngs wrong whch are
not wrong at a. e have come to thnk out-
break and e uberance, bangng and bargng,
rottng and wreckng, wrong. In themseves
299
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MANALI
they are not merey pardonabe, they are unm-
peachabe. There s nothng wcked about fr-
ng off a psto even at a frend so ong as you
do not mean to ht hm and know you won t.
It s no more wrong than throwng a pebbe at
the sea ess for you do occasonay ht the
sea. There s nothng wrong n bashng down
a chmney-pot and breakng through a roof,
so ong as you are not n urng the fe or prop-
erty of other men. It s no more wrong to
choose to enter a house from the top, than to
choose to open a packng-case from the bottom.
There s nothng wcked about wakng round
the word and comng back to your own house
t s no more wcked than wakng round the
garden and comng back to your own house.
And there s nothng wcked about pckng up
your wfe here, there, and everywhere, f, for-
sakng a others, you keep ony to her so ong
as you both sha ve. It s as nnocent as
payng a game of hde-and-seek n the garden.
You assocate such acts wth backguardsm
by a mere snobbsh assocaton as you thnk
there s somethng vaguey ve about gong
(or beng seen gong) nto a pawnbroker s or
a pubc-house. You thnk there s somethng
300
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MANALI
squad and commonpace about such a con-
necton. You are mstaken.
Ths man s sprtua power has been pre-
csey ths: that he has dstngushed between
custom and creed. e has broken the conven-
tons, but he has kept the commandments. It
s as f a man were found gambng wdy n
a gambng he, and you found that he ony
payed for trouser buttons. It s as f you
found a man makng a candestne appont-
ment wth a ady at a Covent Garden ba, and
then you found t was hs grandmother.
verythng s ugy and dscredtabe, e cept
the facts. verythng s wrong about hm,
e cept that he has done no wrong.
It w then be asked, hy does Innocent
Smth contnue far nto hs mdde age a far-
cca e stence, that e poses hm to so many
fase charges To ths I merey answer, that
he does t because he reay s happy, because
he reay s harous, because he reay s a
man and ave. e s so young, that cmbng
garden trees and payng sy practca okes
are st to hm what they once were to us a.
And f you ask me yet agan why he aone
among men shoud be fed wth such ne -
301
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MANALI
haustbe foes, I have a very smpe answer
to that, though t s one that w not be
approved.
There s but one answer, and I am sorry
f you don t ke t. If Innocent s happy t
s because he s nnocent. If he can defy the
conventons t s ust because he can keep the
commandments. It s ust because he does
not want to k, but to e cte to fe that a
psto s st as e ctng to hm as t s to a
schooboy. It s ust because he does not want
to stea, because he does not covet hs negh-
bour s goods, that he has captured the trck
(oh, how we a ong for t ), the trck of
covetng hs own goods. It s ust because he
does not want to commt adutery that he
acheves the romance of se t s ust because
he oves one wfe that he has a hundred honey-
moons. If he had reay murdered a man, f
he had reay deserted a woman, he woud not
be abe to fee that a psto or a ove-etter
was ke a song. At east not a comc song.
Do not magne, pease, that any such at-
ttude s easy to me or appeas n any par-
tcuar way to my sympathes. I am an
Irshman, and a certan sorrow s n my bones,
302
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u
b

c

D
o
m
a

n

t
h
e

U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
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s
,

G
o
o
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e
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a
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s
_
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#
p
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o
o
g

e
MANALI
bred ether of the persecutons of my creed,
or of my creed tsef. Speakng sngy, I fee
as f man was ted to tragedy, and there was
no way out of the trap of od age and doubt.
ut f there s a way out, then, by Chrst and
St. Patrck, ths s the way out. If one coud
keep as happy as a chd or a dog, t woud
be by beng as nnocent as a chd, or as sn-
ess as a dog. arey and brutay to be good,
that may be the road, and he may have found
t. e, we, we, I see a ook of scept-
csm on the face of my od frend Moses. Mr.
Goud does not beeve that beng perfecty
good n a respects woud make a man har-
ous.
No, sad Goud wth an unusua and con-
vncng gravty I do not beeve that beng
perfecty good n a respects woud make a
man harous.
e, sad Mchae quety, w you te
me one thng hch of us has ever tred
t
A sence ensued, rather ke the sence of
some ong geoogca epoch whch awats the
emergence of some une pected type for there
rose at ast n the stness a massve fgure that
303
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e
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(
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C
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e
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)

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o
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a

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t
h
e

U
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d

S
t
a
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s
,

G
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e
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e
MANALI
the other men had amost competey forgot-
ten.
e, gentemen, sad Dr. arner cheer-
fuy, I ve been pretty we entertaned wth
a ths pontess and ncompetent tomfooery
for a coupe of days but t seems to be wear-
ng rather thn, and I m engaged for a cty
dnner. Among the hundred fowers of fut-
ty on both sdes, I was unabe to detect any
sort of reason why a unatc shoud be aowed
to shoot me n the back garden.
e had setted hs sk hat on hs head and
gone out sang pacdy to the garden gate,
whe the amost wang voce of Pym st fo-
owed hm ut reay the buet mssed you
by severa feet. And another voce added:
The buet mssed hm by severa years.
There was a ong and many unmeanng s-
ence, and then Moon sad suddeny, we have
been sttng wth a ghost. Dr. erbert ar-
ner ded years ago.
304
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c

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a

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e

U
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S
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a
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,

G
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e
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a
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a
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s
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#
p
d
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g
o
o
g

e
C APT R
O T GR AT IND NT ROM
ACON OUS
MARY was wakng between Dana and
Rosamund sowy up and down the
garden they were sent, and the sun had set.
Such spaces of dayght as remaned open n
the west were of a warm-tnted whte, whch
can be compared to nothng but a cream
cheese and the nes of pumy coud that ran
across them had a soft but vvd voet boom,
ke a voet smoke. A the rest of the scene
swept and faded away nto a dove-ke gray,
and seemed to met and mount nto Mary s
dark-gray fgure unt she seemed cothed wth
the garden and the skes. There was some-
thng n these ast quet coours that gave her
a settng and a supremacy and the twght
whch conceaed Dana s stateer fgure and
Rosamund s braver array e hbted and em-
phaszed her, eavng her the ady of the gar-
den, and aone.
30
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C
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U
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S
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a
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,

G
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#
p
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o
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g

e
MANALI
hen they spoke at ast, t was evdent that
a conversaton ong faen sent was beng
suddeny revved.
ut where s your husband takng you
asked Dana n her practca voce.
To an aunt, sad Mary that s ust the
oke. There reay s an aunt, and we eft the
chdren wth her when I arranged to be
turned out of the other boardng-house down
the road. e never take more than a week
of ths knd of hoday, but sometmes we take
two of them together.
Does the aunt mnd much asked Rosa-
mund nnocenty. Of course, I dare say t s
very narrow-mnded and what s that other
word, you know, what Goath was but I ve
known many aunts who woud thnk t we,
sy.
Sy cred Mary wth great heartness.
Oh, my Sunday hat I shoud thnk t was
sy ut what do you e pect e reay
s a good man, and t mght have been snakes
or somethng.
Snakes nqured Rosamund, wth a
sghty puzzed nterest.
Unce arry kept snakes, and sad they
306
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U
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S
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,

G
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#
p
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g
o
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G
e
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a
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d

f
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m
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@
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a
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t
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.
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(
D
a
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m
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C
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)

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c

D
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a

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t
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U
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t
e
d

S
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a
t
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s
,

G
o
o
g

e
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z
e
d


/


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:
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w
w
.
h
a
t
h

t
r
u
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o
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g
/
a
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s
s
_
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s
e
#
p
d
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s
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g
o
o
g

e
MANALI
suddeny. Look at those trees over there, a
ong way off, and the couds gong qucker.
I know what you re thnkng about, sad
Mary and don t you be sy foos. Don t
you sten to the ady novests. You go down
the kng s hghway for God s truth t s God s.
Yes, my dear Mchae w often be e tremey
untdy. Arthur Ingewood w be worse
he be tdy. ut what ese are a the trees
and couds for, you sy kttens
The couds and trees are a wavng about,
sad Rosamund. There s a storm comng,
and t makes me fee qute e cted, somehow.
Mchae s reay rather ke a storm he
frghtens me and makes me happy.
Don t you be frghtened, sad Mary.
A over, these men have one advantage:
they are the sort that go out.
A sudden thrust of wnd through the trees
drfted the dyng eaves aong the path, and
they coud hear the far-off trees roarng
fanty.
I mean, sad Mary, they are the knd
that ook outwards and get nterested n the
word. It doesn t matter a bt whether t s
argung, or bcycng, or breakng down the
308
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(
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C
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a

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t
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U
n

t
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d

S
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a
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s
,

G
o
o
g

e
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z
e
d


/


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.
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/
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#
p
d
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s
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g
o
o
g

e
MANALI .
ends of the earth as poor od Innocent does.
Stck to the man who ooks out of the wndow
and tres to understand the word. Keep cear
of the man who ooks n at the wndow and
tres to understand you. hen poor od
Adam had gone out gardenng (Arthur w
go out gardenng) the other sort came aong
and wormed hmsef n, nasty od snake.
You agree wth your aunt, sad Rosamund
smng no snakes n the bedroom.
I ddn t agree wth my aunt very much,
reped Mary smpy, but I thnk she was
rght to et Unce arry coect dragons and
grffns, so ong as t got hm out of the
house.
Amost at the same moment ghts sprang
up nsde the darkened house turnng the two
gass doors nto the garden nto gates of
beaten god. The goden gates were burst
open, and the enormous Smth, who had sat
ke a cumsy statue for as many hours, came
fyng and turnng cart-whees down the
awn and shoutng: Acqutted acqutted
chong the cry, Mchae scampered across
to Rosamund and wdy swung her nto a few
steps of what was supposed to be a watz. ut
309
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h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
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t
m
o
u
t
h

C
o

e
g
e
)

o
n

2
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a

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t
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U
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d

S
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a
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s
,

G
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e
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z
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/
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s
_
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#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
MAN ALI
the company knew Innocent and Mchae by
ths tme and ther e travagances were wdy
taken for granted t was far more e traor-
dnary that Arthur Ingewood waked straght
up to Dana and kssed her as f t had been
hs sster s brthday. ven Dr. Pym, though
he refraned from dancng, ooked on wth
rea benevoence for ndeed the whoe of the
absurd reveaton had dsturbed hm ess than
the others he haf-supposed that such rre-
sponsbe trbunas and nsane dscussons were
part of the medaeva mummeres of the Od
Land.
he the tempest tore the sky as wth
trumpets, wndow after wndow was ghted
up n the house wthn and before the com-
pany, broken wth aughter and the buffetng
of the wnd, had groped ther way to the house
agan, they saw that the great apsh fgure of
Innocent Smth had cambered out of hs own
attc wndow, and roarng agan and agan,
eacon ouse whr round hs head a huge
og or trunk from the wood fre beow of
whch the rver of crmson fame and purpe
smoke drove out on the deafenng ar.
e was evdent enough to have been seen
310
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m
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h
.
e
d
u

(
D
a
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t
m
o
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C
o

e
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e
)

o
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c

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a

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U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
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s
,

G
o
o
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e
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#
p
d
-
u
s
-
g
o
o
g

e
G
e
n
e
r
a
t
e
d

f
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m
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@
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(
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)

o
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2
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c

D
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a

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t
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U
n

t
e
d

S
t
a
t
e
s
,

G
o
o
g

e
-
d

z
e
d


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R TURN CIRCULATION D PARTM NT
TO 202 Man Lbrary 642-3403
LOAN P RIOD 1
OM US
2
3
4

6
ALL OOKS MAY R CALL D A T R 7 DAYS
1-month oans may be renewed by cang 642-340
6-month oans may be recharged by brngng books to Crcuaton Desk
Renewas and recharges may be mode 4 days pror to due date
DU AS STAMP D LO
M9S DCT6 rc
|UL.21 U r
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R C CIP |UN 2 19
A
1 1987
uno.nsc.O 2218

a b
ORM NO. DD 6, 40m, 6 76
UNI RSITY O CALI ORNIA, RK L Y
RK L Y, CA 94720
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