Penn Pals

A Sean Penn Fan Fiction Poem by Joseph Carnegie

Draft 3.1

Joseph Carnegie (Joe Carnegie) @joecarnegie (twitter) JoeycarnagE (okcupid)

INT. FAMOUS LOS ANGELES LANDMARK - DUSK Famous gangster MICKEY COHEN, counts his money, cocaine, and number of girls hes had sex with on a beautiful old desk, once used by Cortez himself. MICKEY COHEN 5000 dollars, 100 pounds of cocaine, and 14 girls. SPICCOLI Hey Mickey Cohen, its me! Spicolli! Spiccoli longboards into the room and is soooooooo high. MICKEY COHEN This is my town kid. Im Classic OG and dont you forget it! SPICCOLI Far out. Hope you dont mind if I eat this tasty za and toke this mad reefer. MICKEY COHEN Heh! Thats kid stuff. I got east coast brains and all the drugs in City of Angels. SPICCOLI Far out. Im gonna go surf! Jimmy Markum enters, having a bunch of tattoos. JIMMY MARKUM Did you say surf? I was just on my way for a swim in, Mystic River. You haven't seen my daughter have you? SPICCOLI Mystic River? More like Mystic Pizza. Spiccoli chows down on his za and tokes up the whole reefer in one smoking. SEAN PENN, DIRECTOR OF INTO THE WILD Are you referring to Mystic Pizza, starring Julia Roberts? That movie has nothing to do with Into The Wild, directed by me, Sean Penn.

2. All of the sudden, Harvey Milk enters with a lot of signs and a whole lot more attitude. HARVEY MILK Im gay and Im angry! MICKEY COHEN Hey! What the suit, toots! JONAH HEX Im burnt and Im angry! Jonah Hex enters on a red horse, with INT and EXT scars. SPICCOLI Woah! Far out! HARVEY MILK Hello there sir, Im Harvey Milk. JONAH HEX Howdy, the names Jonah Hex. Looks like we both have a lot on our plate. HARVEY MILK You can say that again. Woah! SPICCOLI

JONAH HEX Lets ride! Jonah Hex and Milk fuck. CUT TO: SUBTITLE: TO BE CONCLUDED. FADE OUT.