CHAPTER (SEVEN)

I Wouldnt Trade (With) You For the World

The next morning she went down early and set out her trades in the
living room. Just to make sure no one traded for the wrong thing, she'd spent part of her restless night upstairs drawing nervous sketches of everyone's faces. It was easier than worrying about spelling someones name wrong. Licey grinned when the others wandered downstairs and saw her haul. "Well, Licey wins." Marsha sighed, slumping into a chair. Pete glared daggers at the girl. She glared back, death grip on her shirttail. "Now, now. Everyone settle down." Mrs. Pillar clapped her hands and the kids found places to roost. Slightly straightened his too tight coat and coughed. "Alright, everyone." He clapped his hands together, copying Mrs. Pillar. "Here's how things will go. You gotta make at least four trades. A trade doesn't count unless feels good for both people doing it." From the corner, Hat-Trick and Marsha burst into a fit of raunchy laughter. Mrs. Pillar rolled up the attendance book and rapped Hat on the head. The pair stopped but the younger kids looked on, curiosity painted all over their faces. "Anyway," Slightly continued, "you need four trades. The person who has the most-" "Licey." Someone coughed. "The person who has the most trades, will get extra credit." Slightly glared down his sharp nose. He looked terribly grown up until Pete kicked the back of his knee. "Pete, quit! Everyone will have ten minutes to get your things ready. Although someone has done that already." He sneered at Licey. Ignoring him, she swung her feet and stared out the window. Dee and Dum curled up beside her. Slightly went on and on as Licey fiddled with Dee's pigtails. She hadn't had a chance to talk to Pete about switching rooms. When she'd gotten home he'd been up in Sally's tree, checking on the nest. She'd pretended not to see him as they tromped up the stairs to the pee yellow door. But she'd felt his eyes on the back of her neck warm as when Shirley the cat curled up there. The news fairly bubbled in her chest but he never came to find her. And now he looked angry. Pft, he was the one who stole my shirtIm the one who should be upset.

"Alright, go ahead and start." Slightly commanded. No one slacked off in Slightlys lesson. Dee and Dum borrowed some of Liceys supplies and fashioned little stick people with yarn hair and bright painted faces. Slightly set out pretty little rocks and stacks of photographs. Matty spent the last month filling out online surveys and then cashed his credits in on gift cards. Marsha had pens and pencils with new erasers on top. Hat pulled out a number of dollar bills. Bella sat next to the coffee table grinning. The small clear bottle of glitter set before her and nothing else. Pete perched next to her, arms crossed without a thing to offer. He ignored Licey's curious looks. Finally, Lorina found a space near the doorway and unwrapped neat little shoulder bags she'd knitted. Licey's mouth watered through her initial disappointment. Her rabbit was nowhere to be seen. Hm, the thief has more sense than greed, she thought, that should knock out about half the kids here. But the others stuff made a dent in that emptiness. And for once, she'd be able to pick whatever she wanted. On one side of the room, Hat cracked up and smacked Pete on the back. He handed the boy one of the dollars and gave Mrs. Pillar a thumbs up to show theyd traded. Pete nodded that he was fine with it too and the teacher marked it down on their notebooks. "Licey! We made you!" Dum thrust a little stick doll into her hands. The mop of dark yarn clung to the side above a painted scowl. A tiny strip of blue wound round and round the stick's body, two uneven twigs angled like she had her hands on her hips. Licey didn't know whether to be honored or insulted by the little figure. "Uh." Dee, her face the picture of seriousness, said, "You'll wanna act fast. It'd be better to trade now before someone else gets yours." Licey scoffed, "Who'd want my, uh, stick me?" The twins gaped at her. "Seriously?" Dee asked. "You don't have any idea on who might wanna have a little version of you to tote around?" "Uh, no?" Licey stared down at the little frowning stick face and shrugged. Hmm, maybe someone wanted a Licey Voodoo doll? "Beats me." Dum swung Liceys hand. "What you wanna trade for?" Dee shot him a look. She tugged on the end of her curly hair and glanced at the others, impatient. "Okay, I have this in your size," Licey held up the clothes proudly, "And this in yours, Dee." "Don't want clothes." Dum muttered, looking at his toe through the hole in his sneaker.

Licey blinked. She clutched the stick a little tighter. "What do you mean? Dum, it has a dragon on it, you love dragons." He looked away. Dee stepped in and plucked up the tags with her and her brother's face on them. "We'll, uh, trade for these." She whispered, "Sorry, Licey. We don't want clothes." She held out the sketch to her brother and gave Mrs. Pillar thumbs up. Her little face turned to the frozen Licey. "We traded, give her the sign." Numb, Licey flipped up her thumb. The twins tucked their tags into one of their picture books before assaulting Marsha and her fist full of erasers. What was that all about? She shifted from foot to foot and tried to swallow down the sinking feeling climbing up her throat. Okay, don't freak out. She twisted her shirttail around her thumb as she got in Matty's line. Matty seemed to be the hot ticket with his little stack of cards. She blinked, still stunned as Lorina and Hat bartered at the same time. Matty held his own, his low, quiet voice even and unyielding, "Nope, sorry Hat-Trick, its worth twice that. I'll take half the difference in cash though." Hat growled in the back of his throat. "Oh, you will, will you?" He flipped the Wal-World card back at the boy. "No trade then!" He stalked off, leaving Lorina in his wake, rolling her eyes. "Goodness. Such a temper." She said, sliding the card into her pile. "Do you need one of these bags?" She held up a knitted satchel, saw the boy start to nod and went for the kill. "It's bigger than the one I'm offering to Pete. Plus Ill throw in three extra dollars." She smiled, pushing her hair off her round cheek. Matty pushed the Wal-World card and the second, a restaurant card to her without a word. He gave Mrs. Pillar the thumbs up and Lorina grinned as she passed by Licey. Hey, Matty. Licey said, staring down at the fan of gift cards. What have you got? He shuffled the deck of plastic and pulled out a crisp card with a gloriously high 25 marked on the corner. "Art store. Twenty-five dollars. You owe me since I dont have Hat over here jacking up the price like with Lorina." He grinned when Licey felt her face light up. Licey shifted from foot to foot. "I'd love that." She whispered. "I've got a brand new pair of shorts. Lots of pockets. You want to trade for that?" He shook his head. "Got a bag now. I don't need pockets." Licey felt the ice creep a little higher in her chest. "Oh." Matty stood and without a word picked up the picture she'd tagged his shorts with. The white paper cradled in his dark hands, he came back and slid

the sketch into Lorina's knitted bag. "Fair trade." He said, pushing the card into her pocket. "Matty..." "It's fair." He said firmly and turned to deal with Marsha. Outside the window, a cloud passed over the sun and Sally started squawking from her throne of a nest. Licey felt like curling up into a little ball as she sat the art card next to the pile of new clothes. Maybe everyones just being picky, she thought. Fighting down the gloom, she gave the stick Licey a squeeze and nestled it into the folds of the abandoned dragon shirt. Bella and Pete's station buzzed with energy as the older kids came and went. Licey sat, waiting for Bella to stop bouncing on the couch cushions and talk to her. "Bella. Come on." He said, refusing to look at Licey. "That's enough demonstration." "Demonstration?" Licey asked. She stared at the bottle of glitter, wondering if there was anything else. Glitter was the cooties of the art world. Once it got on something it spread like a sneeze and never came clean. Bella plopped down and launched into her three year old babble talk. Uh She said this stuffs magic. Pete nodded at the shiny little bottle. She threw it at us when we fell out of the tree and it helped me fly. And now for the low, low price of thirty dollars you can fly again too." "Oh, thirty dollars, huh?" She attacked the child's messy hair with nervous fingers. Jokingly, she whispered to the giggling child, "Maybe it was Pete and not the glitter, hm?" "Dust." Pete corrected. "She calls it dust." "Not Pete!" Bella said digging her fingers into Licey's pockets to see what was there. Silly ass. "Oh, sorry." Licey dislodged Bella's questing fingers, "I've got a pretty little skirt over there that's just your size if you'd like to trade it for some of your magic dust." Bella stilled and then shook her head. "No." Darting away, she slid under the side table and played with the edges of Matty's socks. Pete smirked. Licey narrowed her eyes. "Well, that's interesting." "Kids don't like clothes." He said, picking his nose with his pinkie. "Guess you dont get that, now that youre so grown up an all?" "What are you trading then?" Anger flared up but lost to the cold fire of disbelief and the smoldering ache of being the last to know. "I'm not trading with you." He waved his free hand in Licey's direction. Stupid girl.

Before she retorted, Marsha plopped down beside her. "Hey, Bella? How much for the glitter?" She called, flipping her colorful hair over her bony shoulder. "It's thirty bucks." Pete replied. She slapped down two erasers, a sun and a dragonfly with half the tail was worn away. "How about this?" Bella stood on tip toe and peeked over Marsha's narrow back. "Nn'kay!" Bella skipped around, scooped up the bottle and handed it to Pete to uncap. He handed it back without a word. Bella grabbed Marsha's hand and poured out the tiniest amount into her palm. Marsha gave a thumbs up to Mrs. Pillar and walked away, not sure what to do with the dust. Licey fought not to scream. "Okay then, Pete. If we were trading-" "Which we're not." "Which we are not, what do you have?" He leaned over the table. "You really wanna know?" "Not really." "Just curious?" "Just curious." He sat back and grinned. "Kisses." Liceys stomach flopped. "Kisses?" She raised her eyebrows and glanced back at Mrs. Pillar. "She knows you're doing that?" "Does it matter?" Pete shrugged hands clasped on the tabletop, "Trades don't always have to be boring things like clothes." The sting hit home on that one. She swallowed, thinking of the time she'd spent trying to find just the right thing for each of them. Stupid, she thought, I was so stupid to think I was doing anyone here a favor. "So, we trading?" Pete asked. "Thought you weren't going to trade with me?" She snipped. He cocked his head to the side, staring at the window seat. "I hate the shirt." "Fine, never min-" "But I like the picture." His eyes snapped back to Licey. She felt her face flush. Her shoulders felt like someone was winding a spring in her back tighter and tighter. "Really?" Pete nodded, looking bored as he scratched the back of his neck. Bella careened off the couch, fell scrambling into Licey's lap and darting back into the fray of the older kids as they bartered. Her cottony hair flipping out on one side, Bella stopped at the pile of clothes and grabbed her picture and Pete's. Bouncing like a live wire, she hopped back to Licey and slapped the papers on the table. "Want this." She pointed.

"In a minute, Bell." Pete said. "Licey and I are trading." Licey watched as Bella zoomed away. "Are we?" "Sure." "I'm not sure my drawing is worth one of, uh, what you're offering." She cursed her pink cheeks. "Fine, two then!" "Pete, that's not-" The boy huffed and rolled his eyes. "Fine! Three, but no more. I have to save some for the others." "Uh" Licey sat up straighter as the realization hit her. "Wait, you had Hat-Trick trade you not to give him one didn't you?" "His loss." Licey stared. "What?" Pete grumbled, annoyed by her intensity. "Well, how about I pay you the same way?" "Nah, no deal then. But you're gonna have a hard time making any more trades." His voice was ominous. Licey slumped. "You did this, didn't you? Told them not to trade for the clothes?" "Maybe. Grown-ups should realize that kids arent stupid, don't you think?" He laughed. Teeth on edge, she bunched her shirttail in her fists. It wasn't her fault she got embarrassed when hed take her shirt. She should be reaping sympathy for Petes obliviousness. But all she was getting was snubbed. Stupid, stubborn, clever boy! She started to stand, fed up and trying to hide her tears. Wait, wait. Pete's hand curled around her wrist. "Don't be like that. I'm sorry, okay? Better? And I didnt tell them not to trade with you. Licey knew he was as sincere as a snake, but she sat down and grumbled at him nonetheless. "You want the picture?" "Yep." "And you want to trade it for-" "Three kisses." He held up his fingers, terribly proud of himself and his brilliance. "And if I don't want your kisses?" "Oh, you know you do." Licey fell silent. Did she? She fiddled with one of her ragged fingernails, fighting not to chew on it. A picture flooded her vision, her on a deserted island, stranded. The unforgiving sun pressed down on her blistered shoulders, fighting to sizzle her out of existence. Yellow sand slid through her

sunburned fingers and raw bare feet. Her tongue felt like a hunk of gray dryer lint. And there was Pete, his shirt tied to the mast of a boat filled with jugs of water. Smirking at her. Tempting her. Sure you can get on the boat. Sure you can have all this water, but you can't be a grown-up. All you have to do is kiss him. Licey snapped out of her daydream to find Pete patiently waiting for her to come back to reality. "Where'd you go this time?" "Deserted island." "Ah." "Yep." "Now about those kisses." Pete's finger flicked at the edge of his picture tag. The constant roar of too many kids in too small a space faded. Licey licked her lips, not chapped as they had been from her daydream, but still too dry. Heart thudding in her chest, she nodded, hair falling in her eyes. "Fine." Not that she remembered much, but Licey was pretty sure if she had been kissed before there would be some kind of feeling there. Wasnt a first kiss supposed to be special? "Okay, pick three then." Licey looked down at the coffee table top. Sitting in a pile were acorns, green and brown, large and small, shiny like they were polished. Huh? "I said, pick three." "And the kisses?" Did he really not know? Or was he just teasing her? "These are kisses." He grinned. He really didn't know. Licey took a moment to curse the foster care system for warping Pete before she sighed and pulled three of the nuts from the pile. There were so many nuts already here, why not have some to carry around as well? Stupid Pete. Stupid nuts. Getting her all worked up...urgh! They thumbed up and Licey huffed away before she smacked the boy. "Licey? Earth to Licey girl." Hat waved her over to the couch. "He got you, huh?" He laughed at Licey's pink, frustrated face. "Leave me alone Hat." "Don't you want to trade?" He waved at the seat next to him on the sofa next to the door. His arm fell over Liceys shoulders and he smirked at Pete. That took some of the steam out of the younger boy. Licey tolerated it just to watch Pete deflate some more. "So what do you want?" She waved at the pile of clothing. "Guessing you don't want the shirt."

"Not a chance, Licey girl." He shrugged, not offering a reason. His bluntness soothed her. At least he wasn't going to try and be sweet about it. Well, it was Hat-Trick after all. "I'll trade for my picture though. So not all is lost." His arm tightened around her. "Great." She muttered. "You and everyone else. I don't want your money. Probably not yours anyway." She shut up when she saw anger begin to smolder like sleeping coals behind his eyes. "Sorry." "Yeah, you should be. I'm being...nice." He looked like he wanted to say something else, but swallowed it down. Then he laughed, the anger hidden again and he squeezed her tighter. Licey endured it to keep Hat on an even keel. "Sure. So what do you want to trade then?" "You've already helped me out, so I'm going to double my offer." He nodded when Licey flicked her eyes to the Mrs. Pillar. She was twitching to get her nicotine. "So I'm going to offer you a favor." "What favor?" She asked, wary. Hat looked away, his battered hat hiding his eyes. "You're different, you know that, rabbit? Everyone here is damaged goods. Somehow none of us measure up. You though, youre different. You don't nose around trying to make people love you. I'm betting even though you thought hard about what clothing to get each of us, it was always in the back of your mind that you could trade them. So that way everyone won, right? But, rabbit, we dont deal in selflessness here." Licey rolled her eyes. The last thing she wanted was a lecture from Hat. He caught her chin and turned her face back to him. She feared the kiss she'd already bartered for would come from Hat's cruel mouth instead of Petes. But he let her go as soon as he had her attention. "People here are drawn to you because you're not like us. And I know why." He whispered. "I came here on a bus too, Licey girl. My trade is that I'm not going to broadcast that fact to everyone again. What the heck did coming by bus matter? She tried to shake the daunting feeling away as an ache started in the back of her head. Lorina scooted over. Her body, a soft, solid wall as she tugged Licey up, "Are you two done? I wanted to ask Licey something." "Are we done, rabbit?" He leaned back and stared at Licey. She nodded, afraid to look away. Afraid hed snap. "Thumbs up then." Licey gave a shaky thumbs up and stumbled after Lorina. Hat picked up his sketch and tucked it into the band of his tattered hat. The pride that

she captured the sketched eyes perfectly drowned in the realization that two Hats were watching her now instead of one. She shuddered. "You okay?" Lorina whispered. "Y-yeah." Lorina pulled her into a warm sweaty hug. The girl's arm squished like one of Hukku-san's bread rolls against her cheek. She gained weight again. "Don't worry, he's all talk." Lorina murmured before Licey wiggled loose. Lori must have missed the scar on Slightly's hand. "I was looking at this necklace..." Lorina trailed off as she sensed Licey's unease. "And the picture. Would you trade me for them?" Y-youll trade with me? Up through the paranoia and the confusion, a smile creased the sides of her mouth so fast, Licey was surprised her cheeks didn't split open. She grabbed the box, tag and all and stuffed them into Lorina's soft hands. Here! The girl laughed, her hair spilling over one shoulder as dimples dotted her cheeks, "Well, okay then!" A hush fell over the room as Lorina swapped her for a knitted bag. Still smiling, Lorina gave Mrs. Pillar thumbs up and walked out of the room. Done, Licey slumped to the window seat, finally done. She tapped her card from Matty, the little stick Licey frowned at her from between her feet, and the acorns in her pocket were no longer so annoying. She packed up the clothes in her knitted bag. She'd been able to trade with almost everyone but"Hey, Licey." "Hi, Slightly." She looked up and felt her finger puncture. A stray pin stuck out the corner of her bag. Licey stuck her finger in her mouth and sucked the blood away. Lorina must have forgotten it. The boy fidgeted beside her. "What's up?" She mumbled around her finger. "Um, well, I thought we might trade?" "Hm, not many people want to trade with me today." Slightly fiddled with the seam of his jacket. "Well, it should be fine now." She waved at the pile. "Take whatever you like. Most of it won't fit though." He picked up the stiff button up shirt and held the sleeve to his arm. "This'll fit." "Yeah, I know." Licey muttered. "It's got your picture on it, right?" Slightly held up the sketch, the sun flashed over his glasses and hid his expression. "Yeah."

Licey waited. Silently, she thanked Lorina for breaking the ban on trading the items she'd bought for all the others. It'd be a waste for the clothes to be orphaned too. "I don't have a lot, compared to the others." He coughed. Must be embarrassing that everyone outdid him in his own lesson, Licey thought. "I have some pictures. I know you've been having a hard time with your painting. Maybe theyll help." Licey glared at him. "How'd you know I was stuck?" "Licey, we can hear you yelling. That and you tap your feet like crazy. Our rooms are right under you, remember?" Slightly shoved the cut magazine pages into her hands. "You should try to get some sleep for once." "Ill do that." She said carefully. She had been sleeping, a lot actually. Slightly wandered off, tucking his shirt beneath his arm. Marsha looked up from the little table across the room. "You got anything left over there, Licey?" Huh, little devils in hell must be enjoying their snow day, she thought. Licey wandered over to Marsha with the girl's rabbit shirt in hand. She held it out. "Just take it. I'm done with my trades. Its wont fit me." Marsha reached in her pocket. "I was saving this one for you, but I didn't know if you'd think it was a fair trade. Rabbits for rabbits?" She held out a small blue bunny eraser with dark eyes and pink inner ears. "It reminded me of you for some reason." Marsha shrugged. Kinda cute, but grouchy. Licey swallowed. "Thanks." The paranoia hit again, dragging her stomach down and spreading it out to her toes. Did Marsha have her stuffed rabbit? Maybe everyone was in on it? "Oh, I knew it wouldn't be enough." Marsha said, worried as Licey inched away. She sighed, digging in her pockets. She tossed the shirt to Marsha. Just take it." What I really want isnt here, not my rabbit, not trust, not friendship, not anything. God, Im so stupid, she thought. Ill just go paint and get away from all thisStumbling, she almost ran over Bella. "Licey!" Bella hopped next to her, grabbing her hand. "Not now." But- No, Bella, not now! "Licey!" She tugged, refusing to let go. Her temper flaring, Licey swung down and said, "What? What is it, Bella?"

Bella blew a puff of dusty glitter into her eyes. "Trade!" The child laughed as tears sprung to Licey's stinging eyes. Licey shoved Bella away and ran for the hall. A black blur barked. Sumi got out of her way as Licey squeezed her eyes shut against the pain. It was like the pin from the bag had multiplied and stuck her eyes a thousand times over. But before Licey could make it to the kitchen she stepped on a crumpled ball of paper. Sock feet slipping, her legs slid out from under her. She tumbled. Her side hit the edge of the kitchen entryway, knocking the wind out of her. Hukku-san hauled her up and Licey fought to breathe while he washed out her eyes next to a strainer full of zucchini and carrots. He muttered words she didnt know as she let the tears fall. They mixed with the blessedly cool water rinsing out her eyes. Would my tears fill up the kitchen if I just kept crying, she wondered. Itd serve all the rest of them right if they drowned! Hukku-san held her hair out of the way as Sumi pranced nervous circles around her feet. Licey toweled her face off. Flecks of the glitter stuck to the bottom of the sink. "Sorry. That stuff never goes away." "Nothing wrong with tears." The cook said, finding words that worked. "No, I meant the glitter." She pinched her bruised side, trying to rub away the pain. In the crooked hall floor sat a crumpled ball of paper that caused her fall. A wrinkled up sketch of Lorina watched as Licey limped away.