JEREMIAH

21 of us.

One in 500 humans has one blue eye and one brown eye. Funny Facts ASK HERE SUBMIT

Theme by Andrew.

poop is funny as shit

34 MINUTES AGO

21 NOTES

I had a poop in a poop. It was a poopception, dun dun duuuuun. :O

Anonymous

I read your blog when I poop. Thought you should know.

Anonymous

Im answering this ask as I poop. I went to church the other day. I realized the bishop was an imposter because he didn't move diagonal once.
parsnipsz

HAAAAAAAAAHAH If girls actually pooped, I'm sure we'd think of you while in the bathroom too
Anonymous

will you answer some questions I just got home from doing midterms and need some lols
Anonymous

alrighty

I was reading your blog and then I went to sleep. I dreamed about poop. I thought that you should know.
christienerd

You thought? I deserved to know. dude, what about those bracelets? how's it going?
Anonymous

Im working on it

1 HOUR AGO

44 NOTES

2 HOURS AGO
I constantly think about my ex sexually despite the fact that I am in a stable, wonderful, long-term relationship with someone else. Is that wrong or am I only human?

33 NOTES

Anonymous

awesome now Im scared My husband is wearing a name tag that says "Jeremiah". I think he's trying to tell me something.
paintdsolution

LOL You a baseball fan? Who's your team?

Anonymous

1997 and 2001 mariners baby just finished watching Moneyball...what did you think?
Anonymous

didnt really like it. it was meh Your school should make shirts that say "Jeremiah goes here."
Anonymous

hahaha. I laughed. I should walk around with a name tag so you can recognize me in public and we can have hot, spontaneous sex. Watch now as you see a bunch of guys walking around with my name stuck to their shirts. I am totally and utterly bored with my life and relationship and job. Where is the excitement that I was promised by novels and movies and blogs and witty quotes on Twitter?
Anonymous

Right? so much truth right here. I just run around and pretend Im spaceman spiff i bet you're a girl who sits at home all day and pretends she's some hot guy when really she's just obsessed with cyclopses having rough sex on a log. and u hired a gay pornographer to pretend he's your girlfriend
Anonymous

crum I'm sitting alone in the dark, on my iPod, submitting an ask, even though I have to get up in a few hours for my first class of this semester. I can't sleep., so I came here seeking refuge.
Anonymous

we are the same person! I have class at 7:30 and I cant stop refreshing my inbox. so, all of the guys i know like legs/ass more than breasts. scientific/jeremiac explanation to this?
Anonymous

You know how the most muscular/fittest male of the heard mates with the most muscular/fittest female of the heard? Well I think that over time weve self-developed an attraction to that universal shape and form that is

a muscular/fit ass. And the jiggly-ness about it is sort of a hybrid/morf between the shape of an ass and the texture of a boob. Its just natural can i submit a picture of my shit to you? i just took a big dump that i'm proud of.
Anonymous

there are no restrictions what about gaining weight:3 i'm losing weight like no bodies business, and trying hard to gain it but it's not working. i'm skinny as fuck and not happy with my body
kittyarena

your metabolism slows down at night, and casein is a type of protien that your body processes slowly over a manner of hours as opposed to a short period of time. so eat a lot of casein right before you go to sleep are you sitting in the dark with your ipod on answering our asks? that is true love.
Anonymous

basically every night Typing this while poop is exiting my body. I have joined the masses, and it feels meh
Anonymous

About 4 months ago I talked about how you'd be triply responsible if I got pregnant what with the yoga pants and the music and everything. Remember that? If it's a boy his name is going to be Jeremiah. Wanna be the Godfather?
Anonymous

absolutely

that picture you posted, along with your tips on how to eat a girl out got me a squirt in the face. And then my mom walked in.. awkward but still fucking high five for teaching me your ways
Anonymous

awesome. high five for being a man! can you help me lose weight jeremiah, please? im 155 and i want to get down to like 120 but i need a plan. tips pleaseee :)
Anonymous

ok well youre obviously a girl. Something you should know, as a girl, is that weightlifting, or doing thi ngs with free weights, will not make you get bulky. There are guys with 3 times as much testosterone pumping through their veins that weightlift every day that are still skinny as fuck. But now thats been established, if you want to lose fat, do your running AFTER you weightlift. Because the weights will force you to burn through the food in your stomach and the carbs your body turns to first for energy. once thats burned through, all your body has left to burn is fat. this incurs after about 30-45 minutes of sweating. So once you hop on that treadmill, every step you take will be shredding fat. one more thing you should remember is that weight isnt always a bad thing because muscle weighs a lot more than fat. And the more muscle you have, the easier it is to burn fat. your body uses more energy the more muscle you have, therefore more fat you burn I was taking a shit and I thought "I can't believe there's people that think of jeremiah everytime they take shits." Then I realized I was essentially thinking of you while shitting.
Anonymous

I took a deuce today and thought about you guys thinking about me when you take shits and I smiled as I shat. I reallllllllly dont like giving my boyfriend head. But because he likes it, I do it for him. What is an acceptable amount of time before I can stop? Thanks!
Anonymous

When your potential children are swimming around in your tummy I reallllllllly dont like giving my boyfriend head. But because he likes it, I do it for him. What is an acceptable amount of time before I can stop? Thanks!
Anonymous

When your potential children are swimming around in your tummy Today is Martin Luther King day. Would you like to say anything racist?
Anonymous

What did the black kid get for his birthday? your bike. how do we know adam and eve werent black? ever try to steal a rib from a black man?

how long did it take the black chick to take a shit? 9 months You're with your best friend, and you're both exploring the jungle together. Somehow, a poisonous snake bites your best friend in the penis. In order to remove the poison, you're going to have to suck it out of your friends penis. Do you do it?
tacticalmilk

Yeah. but no tongue. Otherwise you are gayer than a rainbow. And if the bite is on the shaft, any contact with the head is unnecessary and automatically homosexual. And the poison has to be deadly. If my friend is going to be anything less than paralyzed for life, hell have to deal. fuck yeah visuals with story time.
Anonymous

that took me 10 minutes in ms paint. appreciate it My boyfriend hasn't said anything about me losing weight. I've lost 15 pounds. what gives?
Anonymous

He probably had a girlfriend in the past who hes actually said something to which backfired to he r saying something along the lines of Are you saying I was FAT before?? you would make out with me? i have pimples on my ass
Anonymous

Im sorry, what? did another jig. herp derp.

Anonymous

do another!! >:D You just told my girlfriend to give me head 8-9 times a day. Thank you bro.
Anonymous

you owe me No matter where I am or what time it is, if something shitty happens, I always get on tumblr, go to your page, and it's like an automatic day maker.
Anonymous

thats actually really cool. you guys are my best friends. Im really lucky to have people just read whimsical thoughts that go through my head. and just to be heard is a luxury. seriously think about it; there are hundreds of people reading these words at this very moment. like I could type out juice beetles in the congo marinating their seed upon the flasks of molten bananas and BAM. horny beetles just became a thought in hundreds of minds. THATS FUCKING AWESOME. some of my favorite parts about this whole thing is that there can be a massive audience of you minions that I dont even physically see which allows me to sit here late at night on my ipod in the dark with music playing in my headphones all alone just talking to you all via

the ask box just as I would a text message. so its personal and yet widespread. Im really lucky. Im just a 19 year old with 15,000 built-in friends I could talk to at any moment. so thanks, guys. youre constantly thanking me for helping you out with problems, finding good music, occasional lols, and story time, but Im the lucky one here. so thanks. I would make out with all of you you just posted an ask i sent you. did a little jig. thanks man.
Anonymous

no problem man. do another little jig haha I remember when you said you were the "one eating ice cream like a whore".
Anonymous

your new picture reminds me of the good ol' days before you had a bayillion followers. you seem more down to earth.
Anonymous

this icon is for nostalgia feels. like if you remember it

okay so I need my boyfriend to somehow see that post about vaginal orgasm but he doesn`t follow your tumblr... how can I get him to see it without telling him to go look at it?
Anonymous

leave it open on your computer screen and let him stumble upon it. say your friend sent it to you my bf is trying to seduce your little brother via facebook.
Anonymous

hes falling for it too. LOL how many times a day should I give my boyfriend head?
Anonymous

8-9 story time?

Anonymous

this story lacks in substance but makes up for it in elaboration. I was getting a ride to school in junior high and I was randomly really sick. My school at the time was in downtown bellevue and its actually a really busy city. especially downtown so there were hundreds of people lined up all over the sidewalks and shit. I had to throw up really really bad. after a while, I couldnt hold it in any longer and the guy driving the car didnt want to stop so I rolled down the window in the busiest intersection in the city (skyscrapers all around) leaned out as far as possible, and vomited ALLLL over the feet/pants/suitcases of at least 10 people (we were turning left so the momentum of the car carried the puke super far) and every last person on that street corner had been plastered by at least some of it. I went to school as usual

how does one go about getting a medicinal card? is it easy to get your hands on one? what would be the easiest way? what would your followers say about this process? anons or not... hahahaha let's go community effort!
Anonymous

well Id say google it so you dont get any of the formalities wrong. but in high school, a bunch of my friends would get injuries in sports as basic as a sprain and all they did was talk to their doctor complaining of chronic (not that chronic, pot head) pain. so their doctor gave them a choice between green and just pain killer meds. Oh my god, I'm going crazy. So I go to tumblr in safari when I use my iPod touch (like right now) and I was browsing your blog but watched it as a full view to read the fun facts on the side, but how the hell do I get back to the simple view like it was at first. I've been trying for like half an hour lmao.
Anonymous

I hate that! double click the home button, force close the app and re open it. viola enlarged version of your picture?
Anonymous

hahaha! >:D CATERPIE, USE STRINGSHOT!

Anonymous

Yesterday my 14-year-old cousin looked through the games I have in my iPod Touch and I have this game called Top Girl (lol though) where you model and have a boyfriend and stuff. So the name of the current bf is Jeremiah. When my cousin saw it he said: "There's this cool guy on tumblr who has the same name. I learnt how to please a girl from him." And I'm like poker faceee lol. I have the coolest cousin ever.
Anonymous

Oh my god. People that young need to seriously get off my blog. Thats cool and all, but it makes me want to password protect the whole thing and just let a few people in

Ever wondered if that time you sent your jizz down the toilet it somehow made it's way to an egg and had the right conditions to be born, but because of that it's horribly deformed or something and living through the sewers terrorizing the people who ever go down there?
Anonymous

Or if it somehow impregnated a fish and for the next 500 years a thriving underground colony of fish-people mated and intermixed plotting a planet-of-the-apes-like takeover of all mankind just because I decided to wack one off into the toilet. I was on my way back to school going about 77 through indiana since the speed limit was 70. There were some people though who would go much faster and would tailgate me like assholes. So I would keep in front of them until there was a slow car in the left lane and then I would pass that slow car as SLOW as possible (like 68 mph) then race up to the next slow car and do it again. It was awesome, it felt like I was full control of the car behind me, like I was dominating them. I was winning.
Anonymous

You were being a douche. But thats funny. Because Im the same way when I drive. Their fault for tailgating I seriously doubt you read every ask you get. If you do post this. If you dont, well guess you dont read all the asks...
Anonymous

Poop confessions: once, while on my period, a little piece of poop got caught on the tampon string and was just swinging there..
Anonymous

What's your opinion on prude girls and wants to take things slow? Would you ever date one?

Anonymous

I did date one for almost 2 years. It seriously isnt a deciding factor The 'B' in Boob is an aerial view. The oo is a frontal view. The b is a side view.
ithinkimabananatree

If a bro pussies out of a yearly road trip for his ugly, boring girlfriend of three months, are we dicks for bitching him out?
Anonymous

youd be a dick for NOT bitching him out. thats dumb as hell. you owe him a wake up call I just read your tips for eating a girl out and wondered if you would ever consider making and instructional video. You know, for learning purposes.
Anonymous

You know, for learning purposes. Ill think about it. I want to watch Brad fuck you with his golden globe. Just rape this shit out of your asshole with it.
Anonymous

Im down "Then you gotta be a man and just take off her pants."
Anonymous

wheres your tips on eating out girls

Anonymous

http://itsjeremiah.tumblr.com/post/13176172077/you-should-really-post-tips-on-how-to-eat-a-girl-up i read your advice on eating out girls. I did everything down to the t plus a few extra moves (I wear a necklace and slowly dragged it across her body along with my tongue and lips). Anyways, she told me she's never felt so incredible in her life from that. So, thanks for helping a brother out. *fist bump*
Anonymous

click if high
1 DAY AGO 146 NOTES

I'm pretty sure that anybody who checks this blog regularly thinks of you every time they take a crap. I know I do.
Anonymous

You are so much smarter than the douchebag dumbfuck you let on.
Anonymous

Im taking this as a complinsult. So fuck you with love. How on earth did you just figure that out?! ahahaha It's bloody brilliant. Useless.. but brilliant nonetheless.
personalphosphorescence

I was rubbing my butt cheeks and flexing periodically and BAM suction of the gods on my beautifully erect bum yup, no sense. I just spent a bunch of time rubbing my ass while flexing it.
chrosty

oh youre welcome for that by the way

I always have to visit mozd and northamerifuck at the same time because i feel like they're showing both the opposite sides of the world - both real, but one light and one dark.
Anonymous

woah Wtf is your problem bro

Anonymous

come at me I was hungry right now so i went into my kitchen and saw i had tortillas and cheese so i wanted to make a quesadilla but when i walked to the counter i saw that i had tostada shells so i thought about how good a tostada shell with shredded cheese would taste so i ended up just eating it with the tostada shell and it tasted good
Anonymous

What we do in life echoes in eternity. -Gladiator

you guys I just figured out something awesome

>lay on left side (works on both I guess) >flex left buttcheek >put right hand flat on left asscheek so that your fingertips are on your hip flexor and your palm sort of cups the top of your ass >slide hand up >feel suction >fuck that made no sense

2 DAYS AGO

12 NOTES

I like late night Jeremiah. Your brain works perfectly.

thehoneybunnyboo

late night Jeremiah sounds like a stripper special. Hey, sexy. My names jeremiah and Ill be your dancer this evening. what would you like tonight? I have the tease-tease, the boner boy special, and the late night Jeremiah. which one will it be, baby I don't think you're a judgemental prick, what you said was spot on!
compromyze

you read that fast as balls

rant
if you break it down, every single thing we do is done selfishly, in self-interest. for example: donating to charity. many people donate to charity. but why? donating in the public eye is one of the most selfish, scheming things a person can do. youre self-righteously proclaiming that you are a better person than the rest of us. because we arent what we say, we are what we do. so by doing this supposedly generous deed, youve stuck your nose up in the air and told everyone watching that theyre less tha n you/not as good

as you. your gift of $____ is only you buying your ego. then theres the people that donate in private/anonymously. yet that shit is done for the very same reason. when we boost our own ego with good deeds or nice selfless acts of kindness, we inflate the douchebag in us that thinks wow. what a great guy I am. I did that shit anonymously. suck on that, Jesus. Now if i were rich and donated millions of dollars and helped change thousands of lives i would still be giving less than the college student who donates her time on weekends at the soup kitchen. not because volunteerism is better than cash, but because sacrifice (whether financial or time-wise) is a ratio-based concept. thats why I have little sympathy for millionaire musicians complaining that people are downloading their music for free. so now they have to settle for 2 private jets instead of 3? deal with it, right? i think we should get off of our self-righteous asses and at the very least be honest about our intentions. another example: i want to dedicate a majority of my life to helping and saving animals from abuse and neglect. not because im a good person, but because im a selfish person. extremely selfish. selfish because helping a cute motherfucking kitten from dying in the cold makes me feel like motherfucking santa clause and makes me happy and smug. yeah im making the cat happy as balls too, but the end result is my own happiness. same reason we do nice things for girlfriends/boyfriends. because that shit makes US happy. i can guarantee that if buying my bitch flowers caused hemorrhoids to spout out of my asshole and herpes of the face to start on a raging outbreak, i wouldnt buy that woman flowers. on a side-note, this paragraph has proven that Im a judgemental prick.

2 DAYS AGO
our happiness is determined by the standard of living we compare our current state of living to.

161 NOTES

2 DAYS AGO
hi. im drunk. and i work in 4 hours. i came on tumblr to stalk your blog. be happy.
Anonymous

101 NOTES

I am very happy about that. the message was an unhealthy amount of people think you're black, not an unhealthy amount of black people LOL
cassiedinner

hHahaha Say there's 20 black people. 15 eat fast food everyday. 5 eat fruits and veggies. The amount of unhealthy black people is 15. The healthy amount is 5.
Anonymous

what is an unhealthy amount of black people? What is a healthy amount of black people?
Anonymous

on post 187 on maleminded the tags were "shortest horror story ever - the last man on earth was sitting at home - there was a knock at the door." ... well what if it was a woman knocking?
kyletorrance

we have a winner

99% of you, disregard this

if you have age of empires 3 online, inbox me your username and I will play a game with you right freaking now.

2 DAYS AGO

18 NOTES

im totally with you about people touching my head/hair. i ask people to pet me every now and then. no one understands.
Anonymous

favorite N64 game?

icantgiveitup

Starfox. OBVIOUSLY. then supersmash I love how an unhealthy amount of people thought you were black
Anonymous

OMG I THOUGHT YOU WERE BLACK ALL THIS TIME

Anonymous

we should hang out sometime!

Anonymous

Does anyone else get those random moments when rubbing your head is fucking ORGASMIC? Not just *rub rub* feels but like tearing your hair out, clawing at whatever skin you can grasp feels. This happens to me all the time and whenever someones rubbing my head, I always tell them to rub and squeeze as hard as they can and they always ask Doesnt that hurt? Meanwhile Im just like:

2 DAYS AGO
lol people probably saved that to their computers... not me
Anonymous

129 NOTES

Holy shit people actually saw that? I literally posted it, refreshed the page, and deleted it in a manner of 4 seconds. Thats insane. howd you find out that you had a heart problem? how old were you?
Anonymous

I was 10 days old when I had my first surgery. I took it like a champ. haha I'm sick right now, and I feel so lightheaded, it's ridiculous. When I needed to take a shit though, I felt like the shit was weighing me down, to the point where when I stood up to go to the bathroom my knees were shaking. Anyway, when I managed to haul ass from my bed onto the toilet, I swear the shit dropped like an atomic bomb. All the water hit my butt and I swear I thought I almost hit my head on the ceiling with all of the weight gone. Then I thought of you. Just letting you know.
rojellyoh

I am honored. i found your tumblr - Brad Pitt

Anonymous

Any tips for a person who wants to be "tumblr famous" and get one of those false egos like you?
Anonymous

I found your Tumblr. ~Mom

Anonymous

Jeremiah was a bullfrog..

Anonymous

put a gun to my head

Anonymous

There this guy I have liked for almost two years now, but he's my best friend's brother and she gets really weird and defensive whenever someone tells her he's hot or something, and she told me that if I ever liked him she would pretty much never talk to me again. But I can't get over him. He's too perfect. Perfect for me.
Anonymous

you should send us a picture and well decide if its worth it I take pleasure in knowing that the guy who sexually abused me has a tiny penis. Like, he was able to make himself feel like a man for a little while by taking advantage of me but I'll move on someday and he'll always have a tiny dick and be a sick person.
Anonymous

thats fucking awesome im an eighteen year old girl and still haven't had my first kiss yet. its not because i'm unattractive, its just that the guys i've wanted to kiss and the guys who have wanted to kiss me have never been the same guy. and maybe i'm a prude because i don't want to have a meaningless drunk hook up on the dance floor. anyways,

my point is, what is your viewpoint on having no experience at all? like is it a turn off or turn on for guys, or do they not care?
Anonymous

I can only speak for myself, and Ive talked about this lots of times, but Id much rather have a girl be inexperienced. if youre a guy, like this if you agree. maybe Im not alone in wanting a girl to be filled with as few guys as possible before I get there Alright, so theres this guy that I find hot as hell, and last night I finally had a conversation with him at a party. He told me he would add me on facebook and we would talk after, but he hasn't yet and I think that he probably is assuming I was just saying those things because I was drunk. How can I let him know I'm actually interested?
Anonymous

Add him on facebook? blowing into a girl's vagina can give her a stroke or even kill her
bunnycloud

So dont piss off your boyfriend. haha When I was in summer camp when I was younger, at recess one of the teachers wouldn't let me go inside to go to the bathroom, so I took a poop in one of the little play huts. (:
Anonymous

We should dedicate one day a week to anonymous confessions. best therapy/entertainment evar Right. So my two friends hooked up one night, and she told me what happened the next day. And I need your opinion on which one of them is more fucked up. He's a rapper, so she thought it would be a brilliant idea to make him beat box on her pussy. Is it weird that she asked him to do that, or the fact that he actually did it?
Anonymous

Im answering this because reasons. I think its weirder that she asked because its hard to say no to someone once youre already going at it. So he had virtually no choice in the matter.

Dear Jeremiah, Last night I went to a party and guy I know kissed me. I have a boyfriend, I didn't kiss back, but I feel so guilty that it happened. I know it wasn't my fault, but I don't know what to do. Do I tell my boyfriend what happened? Is it even worth the trouble?
Anonymous

If you were my girlfriend Id want to know if a guy checked you out. So yes, tell him. get your head on straight A couple nights ago, I was riding my bike near the gym. It was all dark out and I was on a dirth path. This car pulled up about 20 feet from me and then stopped, turned off all its lights and stereo and just sat there staring back at me. I looked at it for a couple of minutes then started riding my back again. All of a sudden this car turns back on, all the lights come and the stereo is blasting. I FREAKED THE FUCK OUT and starting walking towards it, it started backing up.I will always remember
Anonymous

In humans, soft poop is really one long, mostly continuous sausage before it comes out. It gets its "link" look because we tend to pinch off lengths of it with the anal sphincter as the poop emerges. If a person pinches hard enough, the poop separates into several turd units. If the person doesn't pinch that hard, the turds may stay connected. If you can remain sufficiently relaxed, you can produce an awesomely long poop that will coil up inside the toilet.

Anonymous

hahaa by the end of this I was laughing really really hard. I am proud to have this on my blog. When I was in kindergarden I used to poop into my hand and lay it on the table and cut it open and pick out everything that looked strange. Corn was my favorite.
Anonymous

read your answer to that anon's head question and slapped my balls! you summed it up in words few people would use to explain that feel! i love getting serviced while sitting man it's like taking your batmobile through the car wash. something about that drapity-drape hair grazing around brings a primal rush when i look down and all her focus is on the important action being done. I'm like 'yea!' and my face twists into this demon of domestic disturbance. i'm a king i'm like girl watch the throne
slickmister

When you are getting head what do you think is the best way to be? like standing up laying down etc?
Anonymous

Sitting down. The HOTTEST thing in the world is feeling her hair bouncing up and down on my pelvis/stomach/legs like a drape around my manhood. Whenever I see dossy, I think 'Jeremiah fucked her'.
Anonymous

Sometimes when I see a sophisticated woman at church or something with her husband I think a giant, hard cock has been in that mouth and ejaculated into that throat. I have this theory about why guys like boobs.. Just go with me on this. Imagine you like jello and your mom just made this huge-ass jello sculptor and sits it out there on the table right in front of you. It's wiggling, jiggling and bouncing and all directions. Like the coolest thing ever. BUT YOU CAN'T TOUCH IT because your mom said you have to eat dinner first. It's like boobs. They sit in front of your face day in and day out, jiggling, but you can't have them when you want.
Anonymous

I think its because we cant have it. I mean, women in africa walk around with their tits bouncing freely to and fro and yet you dont see a bunch of hard black dicks walking around. Its because its not forbidden to them. If elbows had to be censored on tv due to their sexual nature, Im sure every time I saw an exposed elbow, Id get pretty hard. And want it in my mouth and up my butt or something. If thats the culture I was raised in. What's the fattest computer you can buy? A dell. (Adele, get it? hah...) *crickets*
Anonymous

How can I get my girl to get stoned with me if she is really anti-weed? I'm such a closet stoner that's it's really heard to break it to her. We've watched plenty of tv shows where people are smoking up, but her

reaction is "why bother?" rather than any sort of intrigue. And I have asked her about it directly, but she is pretty insubstantial about it. It would be amazing for me to open up and share my weed experiences with her (i.e. sex haha)
Anonymous

Im guessing that if shes anti-weed, shes probably never experienced a high. slip her some special brownies. shell be mad. but your friend gave them to you and you didnt know, remember? it was both your first time getting high. Lets do that again. I'm a straight guy and I'd like to know if it's normal that I want so bad to make a pillow fight with my bros. I doubt they would want to. When I see girls doing it, they seem to have so much fun. What do you think?
Anonymous

hahaha brollow fight. lets do it. seriously if you got me a ticket or just lived by me somewhere, I would come over, beat you with a pillow, and leave. free of charge

Masseys tip on being an alpha male

masseyp: #2

find a girl at the gym get the heaviest weight that you can curl for a few reps go directly in front of her and lift the weight stare her directly in the eyes, DO NOT LOOK AWAY!

She will be so impressed by your aggressiveness and alpha behavior that she will instinctively give you her phone number, its an evolutionary trait that women have, its science guys!

4 DAYS AGO
i hear that maleminded guy is a douche nozzle
Anonymous

60 NOTES

have you seen his blog? hes a sexist fuck and probably has small genitalia i'm going to keep asking until you answer one of my asks
Anonymous

im typing this out with the tip og my penis im not kidding Itsjeremiah, a tumblr that consists of sex, more sex, weed and just a sprinkle of suicidal with a smear of poop
Anonymous

hey now, thats just recently. theres also brad pitt, story time, and a slice of masturbation. dude when i smoke weed i dont even know. i watched some tv and i started crying it was so great. i also had me some chips and chocolate. that shit was good. weed also makes me drive better. i was driving listening to and singing along to californication. weed is nice
Anonymous

I read this in THE MOST STONED VOICE POSSIBLE. especially the first sentence. hAhahhaa can you PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, post the link to your car story (about how you fuck with people when you're driving. it was really long? and involved the kid in the alley) so i can like it and share my ridiculous tears of joy with everybody i know?
Anonymous

haha surehttp://itsjeremiah.tumblr.com/post/15655756820/how-come-you-guys-dont-think-about-the-littlemoments silly anon who asked how old you were... so new here that he expected a straight answer. silly anon
tea-and-kisses

I heard the guy who runs maleminded is sending them here or something finish this sentence: Dossy and I are...
Anonymous

none of your business I follow maleminded and he posted a link to you answering about oral sex instructions for a guy. do you have a link to your answer for a girl?
choosemeorloseme

http://itsjeremiah.tumblr.com/post/12096721257/detailed-tips-on-how-to-give-good-head-pls but yeah I hear hes a really cool guy

So I know how you feel about sexual experience(i'm a virgin), but what about when a girl has no dating experience at all? Guys ask me out and I always say no- I just find dating to be an awkward, (usually) phony social interaction. Sometimes you don't get to know the person because they've been promoting a more datable version of themselves. I would love to have a relationship grow naturally from a friendship. Am I alone on this one?
Anonymous

thats the most legit perspective ever. Id smash

have you ever driven a GTR? one word.. AMAZING

Anonymous

Youve driven one and youre on anon? I wouldve given you my number so we could have long talks late at night about cars and snuff.

How can I reblog your oral sex advice?

elladuffyinwonderland

I guess you could copy/paste the while thing. But I think itd be easiest just to make a link and post it. Do you think Adele is as great a singer as everyone else seems to? Because she really just does a lot of screaming, and it's not the good kind musically.
geeknthep1nk

all I know is that she has a hardcore butt chin

i wrote something to say but it sounded stupid so im writing this instead.

Anonymous

How many unanswered messages do you still have?

Anonymous

57,430 i'm new here. how old are you?

Anonymous

13

I want to break up with my boyfriend, but I don't know how. I 've been through breakups before and i hate it because i get jealous all the time. Can you give me some advice please? xo
Anonymous

If youre jealous, you still care. Why would you want to leave something you care about? Unless youre a whore. lol I knew a guy that had his sternum removed (or that's how he explained to me), I could put my hand on his chest and literally feel his heart pumping.
Anonymous

hahaha thats nuts! Id be his friend for that reason alone. I once had surgery on my chest before my junior year of highschool that I was completely awake (conscious) for. I could see my exposed rib cage, my sternum with a staple in it, and my skin that was peeled off so far that my nipples where about 4 inches away from my body. it was the coolest thing ever. I had the nurse take pictures for facebook. does that mean your doing to die by the time your like 40?
Anonymous

Im not expected to live past 60. no one ever has with this condition. but theyll ha ve bionic hearts by then Im sure Anon asked: does jeremiahs heart really purr? saucydossy: Yes. It is the coolest thing ever. And you can feel it more than hear it. Its like a little purring engine. And this sounds so cheesy, but when I lay with my head on his chest and listen to his heart. It literally sounds like it is working SOOOOO hard. It makes me want to cry. Like it is just pumping away and it just sounds like it needs a break once in a while. I wish I could give it a break :( To everyone asking, its like that because I have a heart condition that forces it to work 3 times as hard as a normal heart. A major valve only opens up about a third as much as it should. So by the time Im 20, my heart will have beat as much as a 60 year olds. On a heart monitor, my pulse has no rhythm. Its just a constant, steady wiggly line that hovers about an inch above the flatline. If we ever meet someday, Ill let you feel it. no hetero

5 DAYS AGO

119 NOTES

I was born deaf you don't think any language just your own made up language cause you don't understand any languages yet cause you can't hear. if ya want to know how i understand now i have hearing aids
Anonymous

How did your first dubstep go?

I was sitting here reading your new asks and my 3 yr old son walks in the room...he said "Mom are you "weading" "Jewemiah" again?" I said, "Yes, baby." He says "What did he say?" I said, "He's talking about poop." My son nods and replies "I like this guy." ...Oh lord.
Anonymous

This belongs in the hall of fame of asks I was planning on going on an exchange program to England for a year, but my girlfriend said she would break up with me. She said it was because she could' t handle just emailing and skyping for a year. she's all "that's not a relationship". i kinda wanted to go off on her cause she's been out of town for more than a month before and i handled it perfectly fine. but at the same time i felt bad feeling that cause maybe she just doesnt want me to go. what part is right?
Anonymous

I dont think you should let your decisions (when it comes to s omething as life-altering as your education) be influenced this much by a current relationship. I know many people who have done similar things and, even though they may have gotten married, theyve regretted it. Finish your education, live your life and b e the man you want to become before making rash decisions. There are people all over the world going through much more intense LDRs that are happy to do it no matter how hard it is on them just so they can do whats best for their boyfriend/girlfriend. she should support you and be patient with you because relationships should be about self-sacrificing, not self-gain. I think what shes doing is a huge sign. i was looking at you map thing where you can see whee people are and someone was like 100 miles off the coast of africa. i was befuddled.
Anonymous

my blog is popular with fishermen "Send me a picture of you holding it."

Anonymous

Solid choice of cologne man, I use the same. Damn we're fucking smart.
Anonymous

Send me a picture of you holding it. Idk why. Just do it for the lulz. http://itsjeremiah.tumblr.com/submit How are these people finding out who's online when and where and using what browser and all that jazz!? o:
Anonymous

http://www.freehostedscripts.net/oc.php?id=SUQzODkyMTF8aXRzamVyZW1pYWgudHVtYmxyLmNvbQ== Sweet Jesus... FOUR Los Angeles minions are on

Anonymous

hang out with each other!*

*I am not responsible if you get mugged if someone is born deaf then in what language would they think in?
Anonymous

honestly, I rarely think in words. If I saw a fat lady riding a giant dildo across the street, I would just observe and.. process it I guess. I wouldnt think the words Oh look at that large woman riding a dildo! rarely do I find myself speaking actual english in my head. You guys inspired me to poop tonight. Thanks for everything.
Anonymous

I was browsing through porn, and this one girl looked like Dossy. Yeah, I got off on it.
Anonymous

link please your butthole makes the same shape your mouth does when you say 'poop'
Anonymous

5 bucks says you just did it too people order our patties
Anonymous

if poop didn't mean poop then poop would be a pretty word

Anonymous

ew stop posting poop questions

Anonymous

everyone send me more poop questions I'm pooping right now while I scroll through your blog. It's not all coming out in one piece; instead, it's more of explosive bursts. It sounds like a shotgun every time I flex and squeeze it out. Should I be concerned?
Anonymous

Im concerned please suggest more music?:)

m4rlin

Tribulations - LCD Soundsystem Heads will roll - yeahyeahyeahs After dawn - weathertunes Wurlitzer - lushlife project =]

Jeremiah, I poop way too much. I am like a shitting machine. Do you poop a lot? Or would you consider your bowel movement normal? Do you not shit enough? I really want to know.
Anonymous

I poop between once or twice a day. sometimes I can go days without it. all I know is that the more pieces you shat at a time, the worse. to my knowledge it should be one solid piece. So the way you comforted that person who was all on their own was telling them that their parents never even loved them in the first place? wtf
Anonymous

now they know that what theyre going without is something that shouldnt be a part of their lives in the first place. Someone clearly doesn't understand the concept of evolution. I'm embarrassed at how retarded that anon is.
Anonymous

hahaha how did you keep strong when you were alone? my family disowned me recently when i left their religion and i don't know how to handle a rejection like this
Anonymous

my family never rejected me over my religion, but remind yourself that, if they loved you, they wouldnt reject you. its that simple. their love was conditional. and that isnt love at all. Zonda F, Bugatti Veyron, Nissan GTR? Which is your pick?
ninarofl

even though its heavy, GTR. hands down. i tried on one of my girlfriend's bras the other night and the support felt amazing.
Anonymous

I have a better theory & it has nothing to do with you, except maybe those people who think you're black. Call me racist but I feel like a freakin genius so idgaf! Freakin black people, came from white people & monkeys doin it! Explains AIDS & black people & why evolution is stupid because monkeys wouldn't be around if we evolved from them. BOOM. You're welcome for the blow job on ya mind.
Anonymous

It's currently my "time of the month" so to my boyfriend and me, it's blowjob week. Apparently I'm pretty fucking good at them (read your tips), so whenever he even thinks one is coming, he gets immediately hard (thanks). Last night, bc of stress, he couldn't get it up, so I just went to sleep. In the middle of the night, he woke me up to tell me he had a boner and ask for a blowjob. Did it, and made him cum in record time and fell right back asleep. Where's my medal?
Anonymous

On your face I have this theory that you're lady gaga that's trying to get some sort of contact with reality so you made a tumblr and found a hot guy on fb to impersonate and now you answer questions in the most 'realistic' manner you can manage. I also think you loathe the songs on your playlist because they don't sing about money and poker faces but you make them anyways lest someone figure out that you're not in actual fact lady gaga..
Anonymous

this is from page 1011 in my ask box I wish pokemon were real. I'd just fuck everything and train to be a pokemon master or at least a gym leader.
Anonymous

Hopefully tumblr will still be alive when Im 40 so I can go back and show my kids how cool I used to be.

6 DAYS AGO

214 NOTES

I love you. And I mean that in the most homosexual way possible. I want your scrotum where mines is.
Anonymous

No hetero

Who is this Dossy? And what's the link to his/her blog? I want to read what your anon was talking about.
Anonymous

this bundle of joy: http://saucydossy.tumblr.com/ her other blogs: http://itsdossy.tumblr.com/ http://urbancoloredglasses.tumblr.com/ http://iwannalickmycomputerscreen.tumblr.com/ Hey, you should be an archaeologist because I have a bone that needs to be examined. Please respond.
masseyp

Hey, you should sit on my face and Ill guess your weight. Please respond. Do you poop in the shower and push it down the drain?
Anonymous

When I feel like saving water would you rather be Brad Pitt for a day or be Angelina Jolie so you get to have sex with brad?
Anonymous

brad pitt. oh my god. I would hump mirrors. and masturbate. all day long. and go to random highschools and watch panties drop. and adopt Jeremiah Van Guilder into my family of 34 foreign children. and give him a bunk bed. so we could share a room. and be best bros. then Id watch fight club and think fuck yeah. thats me.. then Id masturbate some more. If the end of the world does come, we should form a giant tribe and elect you as are leaders. We would all be the best lovers in the world.
Anonymous

as are leaders. Everyday I wake up and have no idea what the fuck I want to do with my life, everything is the same for everyone and it's all shit. Wake up, do something you hate, die. Where is all the adventure? I just want to do something worth it, help people, have fun, see everything, see all the world, but that's not how it is or can be. Once you tell people this they automatically think that you need to grow up and get a job or something
Anonymous

dude. get a job or something. Make a knife with your bare hands.
Anonymous

There was a Jeremiah in my Linguistics class today. He was a pretty big guy with a ponytail and glasses, and sat down right in front of me. I had to keep leaning on either side the see the board, and his hair kept brushing against my notebook...
Anonymous

Sorry about that how can you buy a knife if you gave away all your possessions?
Anonymous

*gives away possessions* *steals back knife* Tired of the superficiality society has to offer? Get off the internet, dumbass. Donate all your possessions to people who need them. Live in the woods with nothing but a knife for survival so you can "use your body for what it was meant for". Want to be remembered in a hundred years? Get a fucking education, and do something worth remembering. You're just frustrated you're not good enough to change the world. How about working on that instead of blaming it on the pressures of society.
Anonymous

oh snap. *logs off* *buys knife* How come you guys don't think about the little moments? Like the first snow, or the sound of a soccer ball rolling on grass, or your crush's smile? You're all so worried about the end result that you aren't thinking about RIGHT NOW and how you actually are living an amazing life, every single one of you. Sure it seems like we're all headed to the generic life of school, job, family, aging, death; but the fact that we all get there differently should show that each life is truly incredible as is.
Anonymous

Thats a good point. But I still fear the end result no matter how much Im getting out of this moment Im living now. On a side note, tonight I was driving from the gym and it was dark out. Now, when I drive, I have fun. And can be somewhat of an asshole. Ill occasionally blast selena gomez at red lights with the windows

down and a poker face on just to see the looks I get. And because shes a motherfucking lyrical genius. Other times Ill stop at stop lights hitting the brakes really hard and rapidly to the beat of the song so that the entire car looks like its bouncing with the song. Sometimes if I see a line of cars coming down the road in the opposite direction I will wave and smile to every car that passes me and, when the very last car in the line drives by, I put on the angriest face I possibly can, take both hands off the wheel, lean out the window, give him the bird and scream something along the lines of I HATE MINIVANS (or whatever they hap pen to be driving). But tonight, I was derping around on my way back from the gym and I saw this kid riding his bike in the dark on this dirt path that was wide enough for a car. So I pulled in about 20 feet from this kid, turned off the car and all of the lights and just sat there for a solid 5 minutes. He looked at me for a bit but then just kept riding around in circles. He was probably 13. After 5 minutes of silence, I turned the car on with the windows down and the stereo all the way up flashing my lights and revving my engine as loud as possible. This kid freaked the fuck out. At first he fell off his bike and didnt know what to do. Once he got back on he just stood there staring at the car probably wondering what the fuck was going on. (I sat really low in my seat so that it looked like the car was empty, but enough for me to see.) Since he was a ways away, I hit the gas really hard and spun out skidding towards him at 20mph then slamming on my brakes getting pretty close. he jumped back but didnt leave. I turned off all the lights and music again and sat there as he slowly started walking towards me. (just a warning, this is an anti climactic story). every step he took I revved the engine just a litttttle bit. almost like a purr. Once he was like 5 feet away, I turned on all lights, put it in reverse, laid on the horn and sped out of there backwards to the street then went home. I dont know why I told you guys that. He probably thought I was a transformer or something. but the coolest thing is, that random kid will remember me for the rest of his life. My whole life i've fantasized about a zombie outbreak or some type of epic apocalyptic scenario, and i just discovered why it appeals to me so much. I fucking hate living just to obtain money, an education, possessions, ect. I want to live in a society where your physical strength and intelligence actually matter. I want to use my body for what my body is actually ment for, survival. Not sitting behind a desk and pushing a pencil. Thoughts?
thetroubledbroy

These exact thoughts have gone through my head. Yeah, going around bashing zombies with baseball bats is kick ass, but theres much more of a draw to it than just that. I think that if we were to live in a world where we were forced to go without all of the superficial things that are shoved down our throats like the giant cock that is society, itd help us to clear out all the shit that inundates our brains everyday. I look at my future and I see such a 1960's story. College, job, family, grow old. Nothing for anyone to remember, just 80 years of nothing extroadinary. Sometimes I just want to say screw it all and do as many things as I can without looking at my whole future. I don't want to be just another person. More than wanting to be remembered, I want to be on my deathbed and say "Fuck, this was an amazing ride." I'm afraid to live a life of quiet desperation.

Anonymous

One of my greatest fears. Have you ever felt like your just wasting your time with what you're doing? Like what you're doing isn't even what you want and it's what you feel like you have to do. Why am I wasting money and time at university? I think I'm doing it cause mum and dad want me to do something with my life. Or maybe it's to procrastinate until I realise what I actually want to do. Screw this feeling. Screw it all!
Anonymous

YES. I think about this every day. When Im 70 years old oblivious to the world around me sitting at home with preferably a cat, I will lay there and think Fuck. Id give my entire savings, left nut, and my viagra stash just to live one day as a 19 year old again. But here I am, with that wish fulfilled. And I get that every day. I wake up and have my youth, ambition, passion, hair, libido, energy, dreams, goals and freedom. Every. Damn. Day. So if I got my wish as a 70 year old man and tomorrow was my one day, what would I do with those 24 hours? I just got goosebumps. fuck squandering youth. I dont want to just survive. I want to live. Why are guys so turned on by virgins? Every time a guy I'm hooking up with finds out I'm a virgin he gets excited and it boosts his ego.
Anonymous

Because hes doing what nobody else has ever been able to do before. Its fucking awesome. but Im guessing by hooking up youre not talking about sex. because I feel like the real ego boost would be to actually take it, right? anywho, the harder the challenge, the sweeter the victory. I have seen my brother's jizz in the toilet before. We always know when you've done it in there, fyi.
Anonymous

I go in the air vent. >fap in bathroom. >flush toilet to reduce suspicion.

6 DAYS AGO

35 NOTES

lol@theshortesthorrorstory
Anonymous

hahahaha Im fucking retarded

Why are some states in the USA so perfectly square shaped?

Anonymous

probably because they got bored Dude...I masturbated to that woman in the Where's Waldo page. I am not joking.
Anonymous

Seriously the greatest easter egg Ive ever discovered. you're 19 years old?
Anonymous

yeah man when's your birthday?

Anonymous

September, 1992 Thanks for being online tonight...You have made my dashboard 10 times more enjoyable.
Anonymous

Thanks for listening, guys. youve made my life 10 times more bearable. your blog gives me the confidence to finger fuck myself. thank you, jeremiah.
Anonymous

dont mention it does anybody remember the Wheres Waldo page where it was at the beach and the kid was sticking his ice cream cone into the womans back and you could see her tits? cause I sure do.

1 WEEK AGO

33 NOTES

Do you ever feel like your life is a waste? I try everyday to find a purpose. I don't want to die, I just want to live. I mean really LIVE. If I spend my life in school preparing for a life of 9-5 hours, I'll be unsatisfied. I'm so lost in this world. I don't know why I'm telling you this, I just want someone to understand. I don't think a lot of people think about this stuff like I do. I just want a real life. Something to be proud of.
Anonymous

I'm Canadian, but I live in America. Half of my friends end all their sentences with "eh" because "it's hilarious".
Anonymous

eh realized, if I died tomorrow, then my life would have been wasted by preparing myself for a life I probably don't want. How sad is that?
Anonymous

we think the same way sometimes I think you make up some of these anons yourself just to get likes.
Anonymous

honestly, I dont. you guys are just that awesome those damn canadians, being confused about love and shit
Anonymous

One time, I was walking down the street and this guy was walking towards me. He looked like he was in his mid twenties and he was hot, so I was giving him the 'I'd totally bang you' look and he was looking back at me in the same way. Anyway, as he was walking towards me he suddenly reaches down and unzips his fly, takes out his rather grotty looking dick and shakes it while winking at me. I stopped dead in my tracks as he just walked past. To this day, I still don't know why the fuck he did that
Anonymous

Sometimes I fap to the thought of my boyfriend and I being brother and sister and having sex.
Anonymous

does the tumblr app for the iPod suck the small, cauliflower-looking, precum glazed, shriveled hairy cock for you as much as it does for me? because I've lost count of how many times I've had to restart my iPod because of this piece of shit app.
captainmactavish

go to tumblr in safari broheim. Ive been in this ish for the last hour with you guys That Snapple fact isn't true in Alabama. =/
sylvanen

hahahahaha If your parents never had children, chances are you wont either.
Anonymous

I saw this on a snapple once: Did you know? You are more related to your siblings than your parents are to each other. no shit Can I get a "what, what"?

Anonymous

To these chickens from all of my doves who dont love those, they get no dough You were a model? For what?
Anonymous

I was the kid that played with the power rangers on the cartoon network commercials. You go, Ethan.
Anonymous

I approve this message. what kind of job(s) do you have?

Anonymous

Since I was 14, Ive worked in construction, at an organic market, been an assistant trucker, at 3 grocery stores, a pizza place, modeling and at motherfucking subway. right now Im a part time sales rep for an energy drink. jeremiahs a biblical name, stupid.
Anonymous

if you think I really didnt know that, youre the moron. Who the fuck names their kid Jeremiah?
Anonymous

dude WHAT THE FUCK RIGHT? I sound like an indian tribe i have to write a senior quote by tomorrow, and i have no idea what to write! help please? (preferably funny) thanks, i appreciate it!
Anonymous

So I can write anything here and itll be in the yearbook? My mom shouldve swallowed me. If the red rivers a flowin, take the dirt road home. Take life as it comes and runs down your chin. 69 people are viewing your page using chrome. heh
Anonymous

yup. pretty sure Id hang out with you you never answer my questions do you hate me because im black
houdini-panini

way to pull the race card. well, congratulations. you made it. on another note, when I smoke weed and get cottonmouth, I like to pretend youre in there. picking all the cotton from between my teeth

Hey, Jeremiah, wanna work your magic with this Olivia girl? She lives like 10 miles from me from what I can see on the map.
ethanwarr

here ya go Ethan. best of luck so this is weird but, i'm married and living with my baby's mother but we have gotten to the point where we know we are not compatible and are seeking to split but still live together. we agreed to see other people yet she still says she likes/needs to be affectionate towards me. she goes out clubbing with her single friends, and i know she fb messages/talks to other guys. i guess my question is am I a pussy? i'm just trying to be civil and be a good guy until she leaves and i can be free. wtf.
Anonymous

With my ex, after she told me she wanted to mess around in college, she ended up immediately regretting that decision. She didnt get the dick/attention she expected apparently. She called me begging to get back together because, well, she needed support, comfort, and attention. And I was the one who provided that for her for years. So even after fucking me over then going back on her decision for shallow reasons, I still cared about her. I wasnt an idiot and didnt get back tog ether with her, but, since she feared seeing me move on, she begged that I at least act taken and play the part of a loyal boyfriend even though we werent together. (typing this out kills me. God, I sound like a pussy) She would call me almost every night, weeping, crying , sobbing about how empty her life was at college without me and how she had absolutely no friends. I was there for her. I went more than an entire summer being completely loyal to a girl who was using me from 8 states away, because I loved her. After that entire time, she managed to finally find someone that wanted to bone her drunk at a party. She went crazy. Like multiple guys in one night crazy. She turned around and rubbed it all in my face. bragging about how easily she moved on. her and I never talk anymore. I dont know what you couldve gotten out of this, but thats my experience. poop.
Anonymous

Dear whoever is on Jeremiah's blog January 9th at 9:15 near Wichita Kansas... I'm like 30 minutes away. I may make a tumblr JUST for you. Please be male and between the ages of 16-18. Love, Olivia.
Anonymous

I guess. dont get raped. Tumblr Bot just suggested that I follow Mozd. Tumblr win.
Anonymous

What?? thats actually pretty fucking awesome How do you pronounce your last name?
Anonymous

Van (like the thing you derp around in) Guilder (gill like on a fish durr like a moron) brotips claims that you should play for the name on the back of the jersey instead of the front, are they wrong or is it just me? Male minded > brotips
phillies4life

hahahah fuck my team, Im fucking awesome! I had a dream I shaved pubes off of lady gaga's face and then proceeded to eat a gigantic sugar cookie
0penedeyes

I had a recurring dream back when I lived with my mom in our house on lake samammish in washington. In my dream, she would ask me to take out the garbage. The moment I stepped outside, the world got dark. I moseyd over to the back of the house where there was this giant spider. basically the size of shelob. it would thrust at me with its giant stinger that for some reason had the face of my next door neighbor on it, smiling. very creepily. I was scared shitless. so I ran over to a hot dog stand that was for some reason in my neighbors driveway. he was all hey! want a hot dog? so I said yeah but no mustard. the prick put mustard on it anyways and gave it to me. I turned around eating it looking for the giant spider and, not seeing it, turned back around to the hot dog man in the driveway who started morphing into a giant spider himself. thats when I started pissing myself. there was so much pee that my mom came out an yelled at me to clean it up. but since I never stopped peeing, the job was never done. I would just pee and mop for what seemed like hours. the only thing that would wake me up is if I stopped mopping and drowned in my own piss. In one of my classes, we watched a documentary narrated by Brad Pitt's sexy voice. And all I could think of was how I had to tell you. And then I told myself to stop being a creeper and reminded myself i'm not actually friends with you. Just thought i'd share.. Have a good night!
fragilesecrets

hey. were all family here. but Im jealous as balls. If that were my school, Id have straight As I see this very attractive guy that wears these big white headphones around his neck, in the hallway sometimes. We met eyes like a couple times and held the gaze, it didn't feel weird. What would be a nonweird way to approach him. How would you like a girl to approach you?
Anonymous

get the telletubies theme song on your iPod, run up to him, plug in your iPod to his headphones hit play and yell CHECK THIS SHIT OUT. thats a story you tell the kids Currently 12 people are on your blog using Internet Explorer. Derp.
Anonymous

no respect

I am homeless right now & it is so hard to cope with living from day to day not knowing if you'll eat or sleep. How did you do it?? :/
Anonymous

How are you getting internet? Are you at the public library? You know what is super fun? clicking on your '# of us' and seeing where people are. Someone was just from from Nunavut (pretty much the arctic) and the Bahamas. I guess that makes you an international superstar of sorts. kidding. kind of.
Anonymous

I keep looking for someone thats practically across the street from me on that map so I can drive over and be like. Hey. I know youre on my blog. Lets bang. here it is, guys: http://www.freehostedscripts.net/oc.php?id=SUQzODkyMTF8aXRzamVyZW1pYWgudHVtYmxyLmNv bQ== I remember when you posted the "Be the Batman" gif. Best advice you've ever given fyi.
Anonymous

awwwww yeahhh http://maleminded.tumblr.com/post/8482620348/i-feel-like-im-really-awful-at-giving-handjobs-any I had a dream that I went through american history with Samuel L Jackson and the Kardashians and we went to an airport and Samuel wanted to bring mustard on the plane as an in flight snack, but they wouldn't let him so they put it in a bedazzled case and then they looked back there and it was gone so they assumed it was cursed and we got kicked out of the airport. Thankfully we hid in a soundproof glass box in the middle of a mall with you.
Anonymous

Is your middle name Thomas?

Anonymous

I actually dont have a middle name. Trick question To the anon that asked about video games while high: Geometry Wars 2 on the Xbox Live arcade.

nofuckstogiveortake

UNF. FUUUCK. how do I find that game again. Do I need to go buy an xbox? that game was the TITS. Yo I've followed you since post like #20 on maleminded and I remember when people were bragging about following since #1. Now all of a sudden anything under fifty sounds awesome. What happened man!? Don't lower your standards!
Anonymous

okay from now on, youre only cool if you know my middle name.

I didn't quit weed but once my friend got me so high (smoked an eighth each, 2 hits off a gravity bong and passed a joint back and forth) and this was some pink lemonade kush. She then decided that it would be a good idea to trip me out. Her and two others began flickering the lights and dancing/jumping in front of me. Im so high at this point i begin freaking out and start shaking and seizing like a fish on the couch, flopping back and forth and screaming. Scared the hell out of them and me
Anonymous

I'm what Willis was talking about.

Anonymous

Lol, I still remember what you look like too. Followed you on my other Tumblr account since post #12 on Mm.
Anonymous

thats amazing. I owe you a hug What videogames do you recommend someone play while high?

Anonymous

go to the app store and download retro rev 2 http://itunes.apple.com/us/app/retro-revolution-2/id363462667?mt=8 I've followed you for so long, I know what you look like from when you had a whole page to yourself. True minion?
Anonymous

haha definitely I recently quit weed, I didn't seizure like that one guy. But I had eaten three special brownies, (Each with a gram in it) then smoked a blunt and then smoked a bowl. My friend did the same too, (we're both 120lb white girls) WE WERE BAKED AS BALLS. She ended up throwing up and passing out and I was so high it scared the shit out of me that I couldn't sleep it off. After that I just thought I thought I was too stupid with it to do it anymore, but man I miss it.
Anonymous

oh jesus Did you know that drugs are illegal.

Anonymous

sorry about that last audio post. you can hear most of the song, but it cuts off the ending
1 WEEK AGO
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

do you smoke everyday? or just when you go out?

Anonymous

If I smoked every day I would be the dumbest fuck haha. I hate what its done to some of my friends when i got back to school after winter break, i looked on my fuck buddies facebook and hes back in a relationship with his ex. why didn't he tell me? we're good friends i wish he'd just tell me in person :(
Anonymous

me too, hun I used to smoke all the time with my best friend, but after the last time, I'll never smoke again. I waked n' baked, and then about an hour later, we passed around a blunt. I had NEVER gotten higher haha. But about an hour or so later, to make a long story short, I had a seizure. Never had one before and haven't had one

since. I know pot doesn't trigger it, but the thought of it just freaks me out. I could see my brain releasing endorphines. I can't go through that again. I miss smoking though.
Anonymous

wow. Youve got me scared. I already have heart problems why bowls over bongs?
Anonymous

I think theyre prettier. and transportable. not the best hitters, but just the perfect combination. my first bong hit was on a 5ft triple-filtered with ice. intense do you prefer bowls, bongs, blunts, or joints?
Anonymous

bowls For the previous anon, about the lighters: hold the lighter with the button to the side, not on the top, when your breath isnt pulling the fire, it goes up, or with the wind, so just keep it to the side and up wind.
Anonymous

well arent we just a helpful little online family c: not a true stoner if you have issues lighting a bowl~
Anonymous

I dont think they were claiming to be a true stoner, but yeah i need advice. so i have issues with lighters. i cant light a bowl without burning my thumb. any tips?
Anonymous

suck in/inhale as you light. it forces the flame in the bowl. if your "whoa notes" post can get almost 200,000,000 notes then surely you can reblog your shirtless post proposal?
Anonymous

hahaha! you remember that. I havent checked the originals status in awhile

woah notes
(via ba-be)

1 WEEK AGO

189,647,665 NOTES

A year from now you will have wished you farted today.
Anonymous

I've been sitting here, wondering if I should tell you this, but then I told myself to fuck it, it's just the internet. So here is my declaration of love. To myself. I'm awesome, funny, cute and well... amazing. I'm the best person I've ever met. Boo yah!
Anonymous

I love myself
Anonymous

A year from now you will have wished you started today.
1 WEEK AGO
where is my mind?

1,244 NOTES

Anonymous

pixies

if you answer this you're gay and if you don't you're even gayer.
Anonymous

To be blunt and to the point...How do I let a guy know I actually like some mild "face fucking" action and get him to not be shy about grabbing my hair/head/face and pushing himself in my mouth? PAHleazee answer this.
Anonymous

Whenever Ive been unsure about how much is too much for a certain girl, the one thing thats typically gotten me to take it to the next level is getting the green light by her when she physically pulls me into doing it. once I know I have the green light, I just take over and go to town. if youre giving him a major message like that and he doesnt take it, hes probably just bad in the sack. A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain softly blows o'er lullaby bay. It fills the sails of boats that are waiting--Waiting to sail your worries away. It isn't far to Hushabye Mountain, and your boat waits down by the key. The winds of night so softly are sighing--Soon they will fly your troubles to sea. So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain. Wave good-bye to cares of the day. And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain, sail far away from lullaby bay.
Anonymous

it disturbs me when I get notifications on my dash for people liking posts from 3 months ago.

1 WEEK AGO

52 NOTES

i say "herp derp" all the time now. i'm surprisingly convincing with it and it sometimes scares me. like i sound like i could actually have mental problems. but i don't. i swear. derp.
Anonymous

hahahahahahH I've asked before and you didnt answer. It's serious enough to ask again. Super Mario or Zelda? Star Wars or LOTR?
parsnipsz

so difficult! super mario. only because I played it more than Zelda. pokemon was BY FAR my game of choice though. annnnd lotr. nothing has ever beaten it. its closer to my heart than some of my family. shaving downstairs is a mother fucker
Anonymous

ladies and gentlemen, the 4th ask this blog has ever received. I always wanted to sneak out but our security system has a chime that dings every time a window or door is opened. My parents were sooo ready, haha
Anonymous

crack the window open during the day so that when you sneak off at night, it wont register it opening

That post about people treating you different because of Tumblr. Are you really that famous? I mean, its Tumblr.
Anonymous

it was a joke

What if one day you lost all your blogs? Would you start from scratch or just give up on life?
Anonymous

option b. BOUNCE LITTLE KITTY BOUNCE

Anonymous

HAHAHAHA wut sometimes I walk around and wonder how differently people would treat me if they knew who I was on the internet. I dont even say thank you when I buy groceries anymore. Now when they hand me my change I just say youre welcome.

1 WEEK AGO
900th ask page ? fuck!?
imacomicbookheroine

60 NOTES

theres over 4000 pages yo

I once read a story where a guy tried to get a goat to suck his dick and instead it bit it off. Creepy stuff man.
Anonymous

Or the donkey. southpark anyone? i love you, man. but sometimes i wonder what the fuck are you on about.
Anonymous

me too. haha, shit you not, i see what you did there...
Anonymous

true followers never miss my little easter eggs. ahh I wish we could just all have a filthy orgy with massive amounts of baby oil and lube so that naked ass cheeks of tumblr people could feel the hot humping hips of hundreds of fellow tumblr people. And it should be a dream so that we could do whatever we wanted to whomever we wanted knowing that wed wake up without any regrets or stds leaking out the butthole. This isnt an easter egg. I just want to fuck you all. capische?

"I always wanted me one that was black and long."

- Johnny Cash (the song One Piece At A Time)

1 WEEK AGO
how come there's no pictures of you?
Anonymous

8 NOTES

because of people like you. and because Im ugly. poop

Anonymous

right after I posted that last thing about hahaha poop, I randomly went to the 900th page of my asks, and this was the first one. I shit you not.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA POOP
fuck growing up

1 WEEK AGO
Fact: What 9gag thinks you say is fact. 9gag. com/gag/1302607
Anonymous

35 NOTES

lol Unknown Source I love it when people make money off my stuff. feelsgoodman. Talk about Sarah Jessica Parker and I will make sure you bleed.
Anonymous

A horse went for a stroll in the park. Sorry about that. How do I explain to a guy that I don't want any physical or sexual contact and that I want to take things really slow? I'm so scared the same thing that happened in my previous relationship will happen when I find someone new. How can I explain it to them without having to explain too much but really getting my point across? Pretty much any assertiveness I had has been destroyed and I feel like at some point I will have to give in anyways and if not I'll forever be alone.
Anonymous

Dating is just a label that guys use as an excuse for friction on our dicks while girls for a false sense of emotional stability. While were young or immature, thats all it is, and all it will ever be. Maturity as a person is the only way you can allow love in your relationships to become mature as well. Sorry for the rant. but as long as you are young and immature (this is me as well), we are in it for ourselves. any disagreement that forces us to settle or hold back (like refraining from gettin dirty in the sack) isnt a selfless thing. were holding out for later. it all revolves around self interest. the faster your head swallows that fact, the shittier youre going to look at young relationships. so just ignore me and find a nice guy. haha only real men listen to enya. and your little fun fact thing just told me "sandra bullock is allergic to horses!". huh.
Anonymous

I dont think her and Sarah Jessica Parker will be friends any time soon. All your recent responses have made me laugh. Thank you. Also can you offer any tips for a successful tumblr?
Anonymous

make a photo-text blog, tag everything, post nudes, take them down later acting like a mysterious prude, write your own anons, lie about everything, pretend to be attractive and make a fake tumblr and say its your girlfriends so you seem like you have some legitimacy. I was going to write something but I couldn't manage to translate my thoughts from my head to text
Anonymous

hate it when that happens You're in douche mode tonight.

Anonymous

Im on a roll! Im megatrons new nemesis. autobots roll out. Opinion on turtle sex?
Anonymous

I like it. Because.. I like turtles. Im just gonna award myself 25 internet points for that one.

What are you studying at school?

Anonymous

Butts in yoga pants on campus. and occasionally industrial design. herp derp. I know you adore the movie Fight Club, as do I. I'm just curious to know if you've ever thought about starting your own 'fight club,' same rules being applied?
Anonymous

I dont know what youre talking about you listen to enya.

Anonymous

Reading this hurt my soul. but yes. only when I could use a good cry.

jesus was supposed to be born in pullman, but they couldn't find 3 wise men & a virgin. go dawgs
Anonymous

HAHAhahaha fuck me Im a cougs fan. I know of many uwhores as well so to each his own haha i am a self proclaimed drunk slut im 18 ive had sex with 6 guys & half of them were when i was drunk. the other half were bfs. but i've been in a relationship with the MOST amazing guy ever for year&2 mnths,i took his vcard. for Halloween i went with my friend to WSU to party and ended up making out with 5 diff guys& sleeping in a bed with one. i told my boyfriend he forgave me. ive also slept with his older brother (before)i guess i'm just telling you all this to brag about how wonderful he is
Anonymous

someday hes going to wake up and leave your ass and all youre going to have is a loose vagina. happy hunting My sister just told me these guys got out of a car and stopped her while she was walkin to the park and asked if she was me. When she said no they got in their car and left....weird right?
Anonymous

fucking run To the anon talking about the 97$ t-shirt, you're math is flawed. You borrowed 49.50$ from each parent.
Anonymous

Your grammar is flawed. And its actually 48.50 haha What the fuck. Mark Wahlberg is sexier than all of these guys.
h-e-r-0-i-n

aw yeah.

Dude it's all about Stephen Hawking. Dat wheelchair.

Anonymous

im 12 and pregnant
Anonymous

So I have that Brad Pitt bread crumb....

Anonymous

you got it all wrong man. its all about ryan gosling
Anonymous

Can I suck Ryan's dick?

Anonymous

Can I suck your dick?

Anonymous

Can Ryan suck my dick? while i suck his?

Anonymous

sucking ryan reynolds dick is different then him being my boyfriend. youre a dodo.
Anonymous

the fact that some of you are actually taking this stuff seriously is weird. like what are you doing here haha

these women complaining about what you said are the ones that are too shallow to admit that it's true. they wanna look like they're smart, mature women but if Ryan Reynolds asked them out, they'd be sucking his cock by now
Anonymous

If I were ryan reynolds I would suck my own penis.

I hope to God you answer this one, seeing you never ask any other questions of mine... Anyway, I'm dating the greatest girl in the world, and I'm with her most of the time. My best friend (who also is her best friend) feels sort of left out, so he hangs out a lot less with us (me and my girl). We don't want to lose him as our best friend, but I certainly can't sacrifice any time with her, cause I feel like I don't even see her enough. Please help...
Anonymous

I honestly have no advice for you except to tell you that youre gonna have to sacrifice time somewhere. You cant just expect some short cut and keep every friendship of yours healthy without some investment.

Dude, you really don't know how girls really think. So stop making us all out to be shallow creatures with your ryan reynolds shit. Stop generalizing like that. It's annoying, petty, and ignorant.
mentalmei

do you like it when a girl sits on your face? sexually.

Anonymous

yes. unless she was extremely overweight. in which case Id be sitting there like

If I wasn't emotionally ready for a relationship, I would say no. I'm not going to force myself into something that I'm not ready for, no matter how attractive the person is.
theophobias

I would divorce my hamster just to marry a crumb that was in the dumpster behind a resteraunt that brad pitt drove by one time as he was masturbating in his automobile. When I say "I don't want a boyfriend" that means that I am currently happy being single and don't want the commitment of a relationship. I could be attracted to them, but just not wanting the dedication that a relationship takes.
theophobias

think about it this way: if ryan reynolds walked up to you in the midst of you being happily single and asked you out, would you say no? maybe youre just not attracted to them enough haha well obviously girls arent speaking morse code when they say "I don't want a boyfriend right now." If they were it would sound something like "Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beeep beep beep beep beep beep"
Anonymous

Yeah, that's pretty much bullshit. 99% of the time, "I don't want a boyfriend" means "I don't want you as a boyfriend".
ohmygourd

because you are not attracted to them, yes? Usually if a girl says she doesn't want a boyfriend, it means she doesn't want a fucking boyfriend. We aren't speaking Morse code.
jagkie

yes, you are ms. cleavage-in-my-icon!!

what's it mean if a girl says "she doesn't want a boyfriend right now" AnonymousIm not attracted to you. make that a MM fact.
Anonymous

haha ok. it mightve been done though. lemme check what's it mean if a girl says "she doesn't want a boyfriend right now"
Anonymous

Im not attracted to you.

like if Ive never answered one of your asks

(via itsjeremiah)

1 WEEK AGO

875 NOTES

1 WEEK AGO

61 NOTES

You have great music taste...got any good chill songs to fall asleep to?
Anonymous

hmmm flume by Bon Iver =]

My words are currently fucking your eyes. Hard.

Anonymous

baby you make me wet. that means Im crying. way to go ass hole. You want to buy a T-Shirt but it costs $97.

So you borrow $50 from your mother and $50 from your father.

So you have $3 change. You decide to give your mother $1 and your father $1 and keep $1 for yourself.

So all in you have borrowed 49 from each parent. However 49+49 is 98 plus the 1 you kept for yourself that equals 99....Where did the other $1 go ??
Anonymous

$50 + $50 = $100 $100 - $97 = $3 You returned $2 to your mom and dad therefore you ended up borrowing only $98 so $97 + your $1 = $98 derp. I've asked several serious questions in the past hoping for some input, but figured when you didn't answer them that you were swamped with a ton of others or just a busy individual. It disheartens me to see such silly asks being responded to when mine were looked over, probably including this one.
Anonymous

Ive been there. its honestly one of the most frustrating feelings. to pour your heart out and not even get a hint of a response or recognition. I apologize. Sometimes I dont have an answer or just frankly dont feel like talking about it. rude, I know. but Ive read each and every one of your asks. your words have made love to my eyes via a computer screen. hows that feel? It's ten times more satisfying to read your blog in real time (as your answering asks) then to come on here and see you updated an hour ago.
Anonymous

all hail the internet! I wish I could hang out with you guys. did something happen?

1 WEEK AGO
if you answer this, nothing happens. if you don't answer this, nothing happens.
Anonymous

17 NOTES

she ricochets
Anonymous

and you dont notice I have been super depressed lately and when I looked at Northimerifuck it was like someone was looking into my head and I just felt less alone. I don't know why it affected me so strongly but it did and recently I have just been happier, and I'm applying for college, and I am playing music again. So thanks, man.
Anonymous

when people tell me things like this, I feel less alone. because that blog of mine has the same effect on me. so thank you as well so last night i was perusing tumblr as i'm fairly new and i fell upon this blog called male minded and i'm like, "holy s**t this blog is amazing! why haven't i heard of this??" and then i remember i read about male minded in one of your asks... thanks for the blogs man they make my day!
spectickles42-deactivated201201

perusing! good vocab. Im at a loss as to how peo ple find this blog other than through maleminded when I read "(lol boulders)" I literally fell out of my chair laughing. Thanks man, I've been having a rough day. I needed that
Anonymous

YES. my comic genius has been appreciated. feelsgoodman Someone asked wich you liked best, oregon california wisconsin washington. Living in Oregon i obviously hoped you would pick it. Just wanted to express my disappointment.
Anonymous

Consider yourself expressed Seriously dude I ask you so many questions and you never answer. I just asked you about having sex with people you're not dating and I really wanted your advice. You're killing me.
Anonymous

Im sorry man! youre not alone. there are thousands of dissapointed people lingering in my ask box. but youre all still there! Ive only ever deleted one. Ive been with my boyfriend for a little under 2 months, i think? But I just started talking to my ex again (who is an ex for non-angry reasons and is still a really close friend,) and I still like him. A lot. #pretendthatwasunderlinedandboldfaced. I feel bad because I know my ex likes me too, and wants to be with me, and I completely friend-zoned my boyfriend before saying yes to him, and pretty much just said yes because I thought I could make it work because hes a great guy. So,Im stuck.</3
Anonymous

no youre not, get the hell out and stop fucking with your boyfriend. shit hurts, man

One of my best friends has always been really sad and lonely, but recently he has been saying stuff about how he sees no point in living and how he hates being happy. I'm really scared he'll try to kill himself, especially if his girlfriend dumps him. Do you have any words that I could get him to change his mind with?
Anonymous

Im very tired and definitely not in the mood to talk about heavy things (lol boulders) but fuck my mood. I couldnt pass on this ask. but dont expect it to be monumentally profound or anything. being in that very position before and thinking that way almost on a daily basis I figure if I just type, something useful may come out of it. but when I was there, I attempted suicide because no one even attempted to help me. so the fact that you care alone is amazing. this is a time where you cant hold back when it comes to just flat out being comforting. you may look like a pussy, but being kind only makes you less of one. despair is relative. a dog dying to a child who has experienced little is as depressing as the death of a spouse to a man or woman who has experienced much. just be there for him. words are temporary and fleeting but your presence and time could save his life. I love you for being the person you are After a long relationship, my boyfriend broke up with me, yet he's still not taken down our relationship status on facebook. I know it's lame to care or notice, but obviously I'm heart broken and doing what any heart broken person might do (check every day). Ha, yeah. So my point is, should I inquire as to why he has left it up? I mean, he said he'd be the one to do it... Has he just not gotten around to it, is he still thinking about it? Thanks in advance.
Anonymous

honestly it could be anything. but if I were in his shoes Id say it would be either to avoid drama or he just hasnt gotten around to it (I have no idea how long you two have been split). Im really sorry regardless. but props to him for being classier than breaking up via facebook at least. chin up hun So, I started having sex with this guy about a month ago. I mean we've had sex twice (spent the night together four times), break started, we made out on New Years, but he was DD and had to drive his friends home. He liked me over the summer, but I was with someone. Then I liked him once I was single, but then he started seeing another girl. Now we're both single and I like him as more than fun buddies. I should tell him right? I'm just not ready to get hurt again, like I did with the last guy.
itastedlife

yes, I think you should.

do you like sonic games?

Anonymous

yeah! the old ones at least. I used to have a genesis. earthworm Jim for the win. that and that game with the dolphin i want to date this girl, and that girl wants to date me. but her friends don't like me. therefore, the girl doesn't want to officially date me, and only hang out with me in private (unfortunately no sex). what do?
Anonymous

I think that if shes that dependant on other peoples opinions/approval, shes going to be a pain in the ass to date because odds are, shes gonna be suuuuper clingy. if her friends opin ions mean more to her than you do, is it worth it? whatever you do/say is going to be critiqued by her entire posse and, since you cant please everyone, youre always gonna be a disappointment to her somehow. I think you should tell her that she needs to decide and just dgaf about whether or not people approve of who shes dating. because thats really childish.

if you take a shit ton of toilet paper and put it in the toilet before you drop the kids off, the water wont splash you. works err'time.
Anonymous

but then you clog the toilet. Id rather have a freshly penetrated butt hole than ask my girlfriends mom for the plunger. haha

Fuck yeah for smoking weed!

Anonymous

Ive been scrolling through my asks for about three hours now and Im just going to publish random ones for the sake of derp. for example, this one is on page 2531 if you typed in the url as blr.com/messages/page/2531 so if you see yours, cool beans! youre awesome would you rather live with a popcorn kernel stuck in the back of your throat or have cheeto fingers forever?
Anonymous

so much pain! um. kernel. because its almost an itch that feels good. like a good pain. especially when it starts bleeding. yum. iron. me and my friend take pictures of our shits and send them to each other. could i send them to you too? c:
Anonymous

youre not alone! my friend Fernando and I did that for two years. the faces people make when they look through your phone are hilarious Don't you hate it when you're having sex with a condom on and when you're done your penis is covered in her pussy juice, but you're never really 100% sure if it's that or the condom slipped and it's semen cause they kinda look alike? The worst...
Anonymous

Ive never used a condom is maleminded officially over ?

Anonymous

haha no of course not! Ill be on that shit till Im 80. Ill be updating it from the retirement home with things like if she turns her wheelchair around to talk to you, she wants the dick. and like where to buy viagra for cheap. it actually just hit 100,000 followers (^) thats a vagina How do you choose which questions to answer?
Anonymous

whichever ones make me look good i enjoy cock.

Anonymous

the people have spoken dont you hate it when your taking a shit and the toilet water comes up a splashes you on the butt?
Anonymous

every. damn. time. its like being raped by poseidon. You're such a cock dude. Everyone hates you
Anonymous

except for people who like cock! :D just took a shit about a 10' long. my first thought was "aw snap i should tell jeremiah"
Anonymous

you shouldve sent it in to Zrichs European Faecal Standards and Measurements Institute and beat Bono! Gee wonder where you're getting the money to fly everywhere
Anonymous

I know two pilots for Alaska airlines so I get free miles What are some good songs that you can recommend? Please & thank you!
spanishaffair

I love these asks aww yea like a stone - audioslave young folks - Peter bjorn and john blue foundations - eyes on fire (zeds dead remix) woo boost - rusko (listen to the way the guy says unh) cath - death cab Do you have a tumblr?
Anonymous

Im a girl and Ive had sex with a couple different people in different positions but I still can't orgasm ! It feels good but ive never came ! Any suggestions?
Anonymous

for clitoral, have him sit up against a wall and, instead of bouncing up and down, grind forward and back so that your torso is basically doing the worm as you grind on the lower part of his stomach with him inside you. for gspot, basically just missionary with your legs propped up against his shoulders Do guys talk about their dick size amongst their friends? Girls talk about their boob size with their buds.
Anonymous

during football season, shower time was the superbowl of dick comparisons. except you didnt talk about it, you let it do its own talking what goes through a mans mind when he gets rejected by a girl?
Anonymous

She didnt want you, so why should anybody else? i accidentally thought about Brat Pitt the entire time i was fucking my boyfriend today... does that ever happen to you?
Anonymous

every time I fuck my boyfriend Post this if you're asleep.

Anonymous

how do i live after fight club? i just finished it. thanks to you inspiring me. now how the fuck do i live with myself and my pathetic ass life? WHAT THE FUCK, MAN.
Anonymous

SO MUCH DRIVE AND NO WHERE TO STEER IT.

I recently got out of a mental hospital from being on suicide watch. The word's gotten out amongst people about what's happened. What can I expect people to think? What should I do about dealing with it?
Anonymous

DGAF. Ive been in the same exact situation that youre in and if people do anything other than give you a hug/comfort you, give you pity sex, buy you food or just treat you normally, then fuck them. their opinions arent worth stressing over anyways. if someones shallow enough to view you in a negative light over something that they really dont know everything about, dont waste your time. So... I'm a girl. And the thought of having a family and bearing children terrifies the living shit out of me. I say this because a friend of mine is the kind of girl who wants a "white picket fence" future with a husband, kids, dumbass golden retriever, etc. I do not want a family. I don't want kids, ever. And I feel like crap for saying that, but honestly I feel like I'm the only one who actually thinks that and it is weird. I'm not a poet goddamnit.
Anonymous

Like if youre asleep

2 WEEKS AGO 180 NOTES

does it feel good for the guy as well if you're just grinding back and forth? not going up and down?
Anonymous

feels great. not as good though the way he says like double cherry pie in Sex and Candy at 0:16 sounds like george bush.

2 WEEKS AGO

31 NOTES

good vibrations on my ear drums

woo boost - rusko you only live once - the strokes let go - frou frou

2 WEEKS AGO
Whats the hottest thing a girl can do, for you personally.
Anonymous

45 NOTES

physically? be prude. I cannot resist a chase. also being extremely responsive in bed. body-wise mostly. like thrusting your hips or clawing my back in eager anticipation so much that you cant control your own body. mentally? getting jealous over me makes me want to smother you in love. as long as its not like obsessive. Are you ever gonna make a video of you reading your asks?
Anonymous

yes when I am 30, I will log back on and give you guys a video update. I promise.

i lost my virginity last august, and my boyfriend tries really hard, but i havent been able to come from sex once since then. so my question is...how do we make this happen?
Anonymous

sit him up against a wall or bed just as long as his torso is vertical or perpendicular to his legs. straddle him and go down so that hes totally inside you. instead of bouncing up and down, grind back and forth so that your clit is rubbing against the lower portion of his stomach. the combination of his penetration and the friction of your clit against his body should work. if not, have him read the tips I gave on head to at least get you most of the way there. then hop on and finish the ride. gtrs?
Anonymous

Nissan gtr how tall are you exactly?

Anonymous

63 I've had a dry spell since early august and no matter what I do it seems like I can't make any progress with the fairer sex either in a relationship or as a one night stand. My main problem is I don't know how to break the ice without using lame pick up lines or obese polar bears. So how should I start talking to chicks in a way that gets them interested?
dblej

personally, Ive never approached girls (with one exception) like ryan gosling does in crazy stupid love. Ive always let them make the first move wether it be an invite to something, her number, basic conversation, etc. I think it originated from me getting rejected at one point so Ive always subconsciously feared rejection. but after a while I noticed it worked better just to play the fuck you Im the o ne who deserves to be approached card. girls seem to like what they cant have especially when its mixed in with some mystery/uncertainty. if you must know, my sophomore year was when I was most on the prowl. and churches were, believe it or not, the most lucrative places to be. not if you wanted easy tail, but just if you loved to chase/be chased. girls there are sick of seeing the same old boy scouts come in and out of there no matter how much they lie to themselves. I sound like a massive tool but yeah i've always pictured you as a hybrid between Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction and Will Smith in Fresh Prince of the Belair. with a little bit of a young Magic Johnson sprinkled in.. imagine my disappointment when i found out you weren't even black
Anonymous

boom goes the dynamite whats more attractive, short hem or skirt, or a low top with good cleave?

Anonymous

skirt imma virgin. me and my boyfriend we're making out last night and I whispered in his ear i want you to fuck me hard just like you wanted to every other time you asked babe, then i started kissing down his body and went back to his ear and said i want your hard dick inside me ;) i started kissing his chest again and then he pushed me away and told me i was crazy for saying stuff like that, am i crazy for saying i want his fucking hard dick inside me for the first time? and he's not a virgin.
Anonymous

either he couldnt get hard and is blaming it on you, or he just turned severely gay I wanna breed a colony of people with shaped nipples. Boys get star shaped nipples, girls get heart shaped. It's guna be a fuckin party and everyone will be topless and free and happy with themselves cuz they have motherfuckin awesome nipples
Anonymous

I'm in an LDR, and I was supposed to see my girlfriend tomorrow for the first time in over two months, but plans fell through. My birthday's in a week and I don't get to see her like I thought I would. I didn't get to see her for Christmas, and I won't for New Year's. I don't even know when I'll be with her next. It literally feels like the entire universe is against us and doing whatever it can to keep us apart. Sorry, I needed to vent. I feel like shit, right now. I just love her so much.
Anonymous

have you ever watched gymnastics? it gives me a boner.

Anonymous

downblouses give me a boner. the ass crack that peaks out of the top of a hot girls jeans give me a boner. sexy necks give me a raging boner. gtrs make me squirt the first time i looked at this blog, you posted about you flexing your butt cheeks to the beat of love you like a love song by selena gomez.
Anonymous

I still do that every day in the car I'm an 18 year old girl, i lost my virginity when i was 15, i've had sex with 10 guys, only 2 have been drunk one night stands the rest were with my boyfriends but i'm so self concious about my number. Is it just me or is that way too high for my age? I don't want to be considered a slut, but even though they were mainly my boyfriends people still judge me if they know :/
Anonymous

what youre doing right now is something you shouldnt. youre looking for other peoples approval. youve been disappointed by reactions and judgements youve received from others so you come asking me or

whoever looking for at least some approval. so it doesnt matter what I think, or what others think. we can never please everyone. too few and youre a prude, too many and youre a slut. the least you can do is just accept yourself and, if youre unhappy with your past, remedy yourself. and if you have no regrets, fuck what they think. The only person I'm able to have sex with is my ex-girlfriend who I was with for 3 years, and was my first. I've tried with other people, but I have the most difficult time getting hard. I just get really anxious. Eventually I'm able to, but it takes awhile. It's pretty embarrassing, and sorta causes me to avoid sex all together. Any advice?
Anonymous

go on a fapping diet. so dont do it for at least a few days before sex. getting drunk might help you relax and get rid of the anxiousness. that and/or some grass. also, initiate it yourself. so when you get a nrb, just whip it out and get it on. once you know its possible or at least gone on a practice run with a successful hard on, it should be better and easier from then on How do I get my gooch to not smell? I get self conscious if a girl is about to give me head and all I think about is how sweaty and smelly my gooch must be.
masseyp

Massey Ive smelled your gooch. its fine. dont sweat it! ._____. imma guy and porn doesn't turn me on... is there something wrong with me
Anonymous

if I just sat there and didnt touch my d I wouldnt get a boner during most porn. try softcore porn like sexyandfunny.com. because honestly when most is left to t he imagination, its way better I recently had vigorous sex with a girl i'd known for a little while. Normally hot and sweaty sex is amazing and previously the only smells i noticed were good ones. This chick's sweat smelt so bad though. like holy fuck bad. What the fuck do i do? she wants to fuck again but i don't know if i can sleep next to the smell again.
Anonymous

haaha! Im so sorry. um just have slow sex or possibly get it on during the day so that you canleave afterwords. she isnt drinking enough water and could probably use more fruit in her system. so if you can somehow sneak some of that into her diet it should help haha. here, babe. have 30lbs of strawberries. You're being nice today... WHY.
Anonymous

fuck you!

having sex with a girl both really drunk

whiskey dick yell, GO GO GADGET PENIS still dont get hard girl gets weirded out and leaves

2 WEEKS AGO

116 NOTES

Without that little voice in your head, you wouldnt be able to read this.
2 WEEKS AGO 353 NOTES

Hi Jeremiah. Of course, I love your tumblr and MaleMinded, so at first, big thank you. I have just one question, just if you guys prefer innocent girl, which will admit, that she has never been in some situation (whatever) or it is better for you to have a girl, which is experienced and seems to be fully aware of everything, what she is doing. Thanks in advance and nevermind, if you don't answer and turn it into a joke as usually, I enjoy your answers.
Anonymous

peronally I prefer the first. Id rather be the one to teach :) How about you just fly to me tonight? :) I just made smores cheesecake bars and they are divine.
saucydossy

uhhhhh fuck you. you know hungry I am right now I consider myself fairly decent in bed with going down on a chick out till she orgasms (which generally doesn't take very long) was never a problem for me. I read your post about it. It helped me finally get my gf relaxed enough to finger her properly. Found G-spot instantly on account of a second post of yours in regards to that. My gf was horny before.. now she's wanting to fuck, all. the. time. For some reason or the other it made her blowjobs feel better too. For this Jeremiah, I salute you.
Anonymous

I dont know how to properly respod to this. so heres a story/fact: one week in 5th grade, I set the school record for times sent to the principal in 5 days. I went 6 times So the sixth time I went, they had to call in 3 other teachers to come witness a 60-swat spanking (means you get hit 60 times). but our principal, mr. mccoy, was old. so old that, as he was on about spank number 44, he slowed down so much that he seemed half-asleep and was spanking me so half-assed (lol half-assed) that I was able to turn around and see all the teachers trying not to laugh and then I turned to my right to see my principal standing completely asleep when the spanking randomly stopped. I stood up and looked at the teachers and they sat the principal down in the chair next to where he was standing and, as he started to drool on himself, they looked at me really seriously and said you get outta here. so I hurried off to class thinking wtf. we had a new principal next year.

I love watching Pam and Jim fall in love.

Anonymous

it was cute at first but after a while it was just here-we-go-again material Is that actually you on wwf?
togaru

of course! Im now playing with 80+ of you Do you know how to play the piano?
Anonymous

yes I go to school with your brother. I've had a crush on him for like two years now...just thought i'd let you know
Anonymous

he has a massive penis. youre welcome for the fantasies. best way to kill a rumor?
Anonymous

dont react do you know bible verses by heart? or did you look it up? or do you know just the jeremiah stuff?
Anonymous

no. Ive read it four times. as a kid I used to peruse the picture bible. loved that thing. but in 3rd grade I memorized psalm 119. proud of myself. but now I hardly have anything memorized. I try to make it a habit not to spout off bible verses like a self righteous prick. no one wants to hear that shit. Just wanted to say hi from Seattle! Can't believe you went to Issaquah high school. I went to Mount Si and I remember some football games we had with you guys. We were only good my freshman year in 2006-2007. After that it was just painful to watch. But it really is such a small world. Have a happy new year Jeremiah. I wish you health, happiness, and all the blessings one can have. I think it's very nice what you're doing for people. Just don't forget about yourself. :) Take care x
labellevie19

I played football for your jv team in 8th grade! in 9th grade I went to your school for a month and ended up getting suspended on my first day. Im sure you know joe farmer and zach (the one who likes country). I took japanese there and only learned one word. but yeah I used to live on the ridge haha. wildcats is seriously the worst mascot in history. but you probably saw me in the hallway once or twice. how weird is that. random bond ftw:D my boyfriend is going to japan for 2 months. its only been a few hours and i already miss him. i swear its going to be the longest 2 months of my life.
Anonymous

I feel those feels. more song recommendations please?

Anonymous

sex and candy - marcy playground VCR - the xx heartbeats - Alex Cornell phantom limb - the shins panic switch - silversun pickups Jeremiah 1:7-8
Anonymous

But the LORD said to me, Do not say, I am too young. You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you, declares the LORD. Am I your bible lookup now? post the pic of the new cat in your icon omg so cute wtf
dream-alittlebiggerdarling

When is the Christmas shit coming off the kitty?

Anonymous

now

two good songs

little house - the fray spit it out - IAMX

3 WEEKS AGO
I want those cupcakes more than I want love. Oh god brb my taste buds need to fap
Anonymous

34 NOTES

they are the best cupcakes my tongue has had the pleasure of making love to. alexis makes them. if you fly us out to you well bring you some ;) especially if you live in australia. How many people do you follow?
Anonymous

690

Like if youre asleep

3 WEEKS AGO
whenever I see "floater" pop up first on your playlist, I think of shit. Problem?
Anonymous

180 NOTES

Ive gotten this a few times haha If a girl had terrible morning breath, would that be a terrible turn off?
Anonymous

Is this a legitimate question? Which one would you prefer... Male barber or female barber?
randykencana

typically female just because its weird to get mini orgasms when getting shampooed by a guy. seriously I get goosebumps whenever someones messing with my hair a certain way. but in terms of how the haircut actually turns out, the best haircuts Ive ever gotten were from my friend nathan. its weird because youd never expect him to be good at it. he was the number one ranked amateur surfer in california for four years straight and is now sponsored by volcom for snowboarding. on the other hand, the worst ha ircut Ive ever

gotten was from a woman. this old asian woman dug her comb into my forehead multiple times literally making me bleed. I was probably 8 years old and too polite to say anything. so I just sat there with blood dripping into my eyes. so yeah

merry christmas lovers

:] no hetero

3 WEEKS AGO
If Santa isn't real, who's the old guy who used to crawl into bed with me when I was a kid?
Anonymous

86 NOTES

My girl of three years, the only one I ever really gave two dick squirts about left for California early this month. Its been the hardest month I've ever had to get through, we still love each other but made the agreement to not talk to one another and begin the next chapters of out lives. Care to give any insight in getting past a person that made an impact in your life?
Anonymous

Coming to the realization that the future with someone else or even alone has the possibility to be better than the past is one of the hardest pills to swallow and yet the most necessary. As much as your mind screams the opposite, you have to know that. Were not meant to be with multiple people. Th e pain we feel when separate from a person we love or care for is painful for a reason. Delete her number. Block her from facebook. not in spite, but.. you know, to avoid the memories that seem sweet but end up just making you feel like shit. Dont listen to those songs anymore. and you know what songs Im talking about too. dont look for a relationship, but surround yourself by friends. Female friends help; not because they can replace her,

but theyre good reminders that there are good traits in everyone . but besides that, just know that if I know those feels you feel. My boyfriend made me orgasm so hard that I passed out. I bought him an Xbox 360 for Christmas. And I gave him a "Free Heads Up - Good For One Month" coupon. Which is my cute way of saying "Free Blow Jobs"

This was the only way I felt I could properly thank him for giving me an orgasm so massive that it literally blew my mind to the point that I passed out. Am I crazy?
Anonymous

guys, to save you time: click

Did you know you can use the J and K keys to move up and down your dash?
3 WEEKS AGO 3 WEEKS AGO 294 NOTES 23 NOTES

So, my ex girlfriend broke up with me in August. It was right before we went off to college. To make a long story short, we had a really big falling out, and now we don't talk, and I don't think we are friends. Anyways, she still talks to my parents and has become friends with my sister.. I just don't know how to deal with all of this. We were best friends, and now we aren't anything. It's hard enough with just that, but with her being around my family.. I just need some advice.
Anonymous

I wish i HAD advice. Virtually the same exact thing is happening to me. I currently dont have anything with my ex. We were best friends and dated for two years right before she decided she wanted to mess around in college. Now there is nothing. Were not friends on fb, I dont have her number, I never see her, blahblahblah. but the thing is, apparently her and her family are still tight with my family. Both families live in washington state. So they meet up and hang out whenever possible while Im across the country in ohio. So

Ill occasionally see pictures of them all on facebook because Im obviously still friends with my family/cousins etc. I thought it was super weird that they were still hanging out with each other. Because the only connection that they initially had was through me. I was the one who introduced them all to each other. Im just ranting now and not coming anywhere near to answering your question, but I thought it would help just to know that.. I know that feel.

I had a dream about you last night but even though i've seen pictures of you, you were black and wore glasses.
Anonymous

post something...I miss you man.

Anonymous

hi guys!!!!!!! Im really sorry Ive been neglecting you :/

Me and this girl where mucking around in the bed and then as a joke I asked about anal and she then said jokingly, but I poop from there and then I replied not now you dont and then we realized we both read your blog and then proceeded to have the most amazing sex.
Anonymous

hi so I have no boobs what. so. EVER. but I have a nice butt. What do?
Anonymous

if I was with you right now I'd kiss you softly then make my way down to your crotch and kiss slowly around your cock. Then I'd lick up your penis to the head and start sucking it slowly, gradually getting faster while my hand rubs the rest of your dick
Anonymous

someone beat you to it

4 WEEKS AGO
It's Brad Pitt's birthday today. Are you planning on mailing yourself to him in a box?
Anonymous

186 NOTES

Im just gonna go disguised as Angelina. Maybe itll work.. If you know what I mean;

What if the anon who asked you about asking yourself stuff is really yourself asking yourself that?
Anonymous

How you like your eggs? Fried or fertilized?

kacasaurous

the way you move your hips gurl make me hypnotized

So about these bracelets... Is the hand a someone wears it on the hand they fap with or is there only one good hand for fapping to begin with?
Anonymous

Well its glow in the dark. so I have it on my fap hand because when I fap in the dark, it creates streaks of light as my hand goes up and down. The faster you fap, the cooler it looks.

Shouldn't you be on a plane right now?

Anonymous

its boarding. brb sittin in wood's office at ihs waiting for punishment. i posted my exes nude on a cardboard cutout of marilyn monroe. well worth it.
Anonymous

hahahah mr. wood is such a toolbag. Dont let him threaten you with cops or anything. Hes a pussy though and through. at least you didnt get caught by Heinz. Is it glow in the dark?!?! If not, then it really should be, so we can find each other in the night time too :)
Anonymous

Yes! it is. This one cost me $28 in all including shipping. Im gonna charge you guys like 6 bucks I think. Glow in the dark is like 3 dollars extra though Where did you live in Washington?
Anonymous

Come off anon! why do guys take so long to poop?

Anonymous

because its meditation time. and smartphone time. have you ever asked yourself something just because you had a funny answer to it?
Anonymous

no. thought about it though WAIT. Bracelets are in???

laurenashleigh2

haha I only bought one to see how it would turn out. They fucked up the font so Im going to try a different place. itll be awhile :/

I'm just curious how well did you do in high school?

Anonymous

I went to 8 highschools and 1/3 of my credits didnt transfer from state to state leaving me with a horrible gpa. Like a 1.9. Senior year, however, I finished with a 3.88 at a school where 4.0 was the highest because OBVIOUSLY this is important to you: when i was younger, like 6, i had to repeat nice words (i.e. book, mom, christmas) in my head to numb my brain until i could fall asleep. because i was afraid i would never wake up. apparently, i was a very philosophical 7 year old. and now i'm older; i don't believe in god. and it's so hard to be alive. because i don't, but at the same time, i can't accept that my existence will end, i guess because i'm a selfish human. and that's about it.
Anonymous

Your post about Wisconsin is bullshit

Anonymous

you think that its not true or you just disagree with my opinion? Refering to one of your answers when you said you were "one of those guys" when you were a sophmore in highschool, what made you change into the guy that would wait a really long time for a girl to be ready to take it to a sexual level?
Anonymous

I met a girl worth waiting for i'm lost... what is /b/ ?

Anonymous

like if you know A guy who is beyond attractive just liked my Facebook status. How long should I wait before asking him to have sex with me?
Anonymous

Once he pokes you, youre practically pregnant. Congratulations. My guess would be this friday. I can't gain weight, even though I need to. I LITERALLY eat an entire large pizza a day, every day and I gained...one pound last week. And I'm basically just whining to you because all my friends tell me to shut up even though I'm not allowed to do something as simple as take the stairs until I gain at least fifteen pounds.
Anonymous

casein protein. unlike whey or other protien sources, it will dissolve and absorb slowly into your body for up to 12 hour periods. take a lot at night before you go to bed. thats when your metabolism is the slowest and youll start to gain. :D Ive had this problem all my life and thats the only way I ever got to 210 lbs. (Im 180 right now) if youre a girl, this is awk. but itll still work. hey who is your cousin who goes to harbor? just his first name i may know him

Anonymous

Lincoln. he was a senior last year Dude I need your help. My band is just getting signed to a label, and we're about to go on our first tour, but there's a problem... I don't want to leave my girlfriend. We've been together for almost a year and I know she's my one, bro. We're planning to move in together next month but I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose her, but I want to follow my dreams too... Any help would be appreciated:/
Anonymous

What is your band? come off anon and Ill promote you! I wanna hear your shit. but as to the girl, I have a cheesy as balls saying for you: relationships are like fire. a small candle might be blown out by the slightest gust of wind, but a roaring fire will only grow larger when you fan the flame. basically, whatever time you may spend apart will only reveal more about the health of your relationship. which is a good thing to know. I dont see why youd have to leave her. /b/rother?
Anonymous

OP is a candyassgot haha i want to be a marketer or advertiser 'cause i have a creativity streak that's good for that. 'cept my parents think it's dead-end (when it really isn't) and want me to go for accounting instead. but i've kinda made the decision that if they won't support me, i'll be going off on my own without their help :P.
Anonymous

dude. Ive been without my parents since I was 14. youll manage. google didn't help .-. do you know if smoking weed while on keppra has any negative side effects?
Anonymous

No. just dont drink. You get really freaking high, but nothing like the high youre used to; its a calmed state, total, relaxed high. The experiences with taking one 600 mg tablet and smoking just basic merch were: 1)Your brain reacts much slower than just smoking weed alone 2) Its a full body high as well; you can feel it relaxing every muscle, better than when you drink ganja. Although, it depends on the type, and quality of the weed, as well as the milligrams that you take. i give my girlfriend close to half my pay check to pay her bills. she was evicted yesterday. turns out she was using that money to buy coke. life is great.
Anonymous

let's say you wanted to pursue your dream 'cause it's your passion, and you know you're good at it (do what you're good at and you won't work a day in your life, right?). but your parents don't approve of this, and in fact, disapprove so much, they're willing to disown you and cut you off. would you still pursue your dreams or would you sacrifice them to keep your parents?

Anonymous

if your parents love for you is limited by the conditions they have around it, its not lov e at all. but if your dream is to become hitler II, then I would have to side with them because, in their defense, maybe you werent the kid they thought you were. now what the hell is your dream?? Can guys (or anyone for that matter) have an anal "orgasm"?
Anonymous

thats a question you ask /b/ My mom walked in on me with this guy and now she's paranoid about letting me see people because she wants me to be a prude for the rest of my life.
Anonymous

Way to reproduce at your parents house. Haha you asked for it. To the girl who doesn't want to put out, I put out for the first guy I was into my freshman year of college. The sex was amazing, the chemistry was fantastic, but he wouldn't commit and it sucked bawlz. While I was still screwing him I met a really amazing guy who wanted to take me on dates and treat me like an actual female human being with a brain and everything. Long story short I'm sure as hell not fucking the first guy anymore. Keep it in your pants, there will be a good guy. I promise.
Anonymous

do you have any non white friends? In all sincerity

Anonymous

Junior year I lived with another one of my best friends Fernando and his family who all looked like they just jumped the fence. lol he was such a player though. I walked in on him 3 times in a week with three different girls. but yes. I think it would be hard to just have white friends. I'm a freshman in college and all guys wanna do is fuck me and if they realize that I'm not giving in, they leave. I fucking get attached to every single one of them. It's exhausting. I don't where they get the idea that ill fuck them. I've only had sex with one guy. I'm sick of getting hurt and attached. What should i do? I really need some straight up advice, all my girlfriends are too nice with what they tell me.
Anonymous

guys expect it because, in college, girls deliver it. if you give them the red light, they know that other girls wont, so they dingdongditch and youre kinda fucked over. I hate to admit it, but sophomore year of highschool, I was one of those guys. in college its worse for you because youre surrounded by girls that will put out for a case and yet youre sitting there feeling like a loner just because you have some respect for yourself. Im motherfucking dr phil. LOL its weird to live in Wisconsin and be Mexican. Everyones always OMG UP NORTH, HUNTING. fuck i'd like to get out of school just to hunt and do nothing! especially when you live in Greenbay and i go to an all

known "prep" school. gah i hate some people there. but anyways. its also hearing these classical, 60s-90s bands that your "parents" would have listened to and your the only one in the class not saying anything about it
Anonymous

hahahahaha!! OMG UP NORTH, HUNTING. I laughed really hard. I got so sick of seeing cheeseheads wearing hunter orange sometimes i have doubts if you're legit about the things you say on this blog, than i read some of your replies and realize there is no way you could make up some of this shit.
Anonymous

sometimes I get annoyed when people doubt my stories, but then I read some of my replies and realize how not-normal my life has been. makes sense. I live in wisconsin currently, and a few of the other states you listed, and totally agree with you, wisco is the worst... where in WI did you live?
poetry-orsomethinglikeit

I think it was just my location. I lived near a town called Minoqua and was only there for 8 months. Really the only good that came out of it was meeting one of my best friends. the high school was a mile away from the rez so the school was 60% native american. even at 200 pounds, I didnt fuck with them because if you look at them the wrong way, they will form a little circle around you like tribal men and stare you down until your willy has shrunken up inside of your body. otherwise, the weather was horrible. it got to -40 when I was there. NEGATIVE FORTY. I would get out of the shower to take the trash out and by the time I got back my hair was frozen solid. everyone chewed. there was an eleven year old on my bus that did. it was sick. I love some of the people there but just being around the people in that town made me feel like if I didnt leave, I would end up just sit around wearing camo shooting deer and chewing cud. our running back at the time had 6 full rides for football. he denied all of them and decided to just become an ice fisherman. which meant that he was going to cut a hole in the ice every winter and just freeze without any pay. I checked his facebook recently and, at 21, hes almost bald, has a gut, and is going almost nowhere with himself. Im sure the city I much better haha. our school buses had monster truck wheels to get through the snow. oh! one cool part about it: 2/3 of the year we drove snowmobiles to school. Which did you like most? Ohio, California, Oregon, Washington, Idaho or Wisconsin? I always pronounce Oregon as or-gone in my head.
Anonymous

Washington by far. I was born in california so thats my second favorite. But oregon, idaho , wisconsin and ohio all kindve suck in comparison wisconsin is the worst. Was Idaho just like it seems in Napoleon Dynamite?

Anonymous

I was only there for a month. But yes. Trisha is a babe. How old are you? / Where are you from?
Anonymous

Welcome! I am 19. Ive lived in Washington, Oregon, California, Idaho, Wisconsin and now live in Ohio. Uhhh.. this might be a bit weird but my boyfriend won't stop grabbing at me.... Like every time I walk by him, he'll slap my ass and squeeze it. Or when I'm cooking dinner, he'll come up behind me and squeeze my boobs. This would be okay, if it was occasionally- I would actually enjoy that... but this is every. fucking. second.... is he just super horny or what?
Anonymous

He is just a guy. I lived in the same house with my ex and I was basically your boyfriend. She eventually had the same reaction that you did, so I backed off. Eventually I got so used to hesitating and stopping myself that I just stopped completely. Within a month she was complaining that I didn t feel her up/hit on her enough. So Id say the grass is always greener, but as long as hes not doing it in mixed company or to an embarrassing, unhealthy extent Id say let him have his fun haha

vagina jokes arnt funny... period. 9/11 jokes arnt funny either, theyre just plane wrong. Nor cripple jokes, cant stand them. & i dont see whats so funny about helen keller jokes. #puns
Anonymous

molestation is a touchy subject

1 MONTH AGO 179 NOTES

Reblog if youre not Tumblr famous.

lulz (via adigableyouth)

1 MONTH AGO
a skittles party?
Anonymous

24,337 NOTES

a skittles party is when everyone pours random prescription and illegal pills into a bowl and, in order to get in the door, you have to take one at random. haha lol thought your recent post was some random spam crap... then i saw massive orgy... i'm down
Anonymous

I would never spam you guys. We should have a skittles party. The only rule is that guys must come with a condom already on.

hear me out
>enter online contest with cash prize >all of us vote for my entry >win $100,000 >have tumblr meet-up >have massive orgy >split the money

1 MONTH AGO

106 NOTES

My boyfriend, like you, has a cat fetish. The first time he ever got me naked he compared it to being surrounded by a million cats...
Anonymous

1 MONTH AGO
When dating a girl, look at her mom. That is what she will look like and eventually act like.
Anonymous

29 NOTES

Girls who are slutty or feminists, do not let them anywhere near you or in your lives. They are losers and almost all know it. They use manipulation very well, they keep a nice guy around while they go whoring. This never works because even if they get the nice guy; he will wisen up and divorce her.
Anonymous

"Figure out who you are separate from your family, and the man or woman youre in a relationship with. Find who you are in this world and what you need to feel good alone. I think thats the most important thing in life. Find a sense of self because with that, you can do anything else."
- Angelina Jolie

1 MONTH AGO
gator don't play no shit
Anonymous

740 NOTES

dude, i watched that video on northamerifuck about animals in china, thats fucked, they are so fucked up, i dont understand why they do it? whats the point in killing the animals? what good comes from that shit, i would fuck those people up, like id be americas most wanted for what id do to them.
Anonymous

They do it for food. Yes, its fucked up and happens every day, but we do the same to the animals we eat. I dont understand how people can just do that without feeling like absolute shit.

(via abigwhitetruck)

1 MONTH AGO

152 NOTES

In years to come when you're famous, passed out on an overdose of cocaine and oxycodeine, you'll come back to life and from that life altering experience then begin career in music, reach platinum with your album

entiled, Northamermindedfuckd you'll tour for about 20 years (U2 style) then eventually become the bob marley or this generation bringing world peace, and finally during the end of your life, discover immortality.
Anonymous

I killed a mirror, and my shower door.

Anonymous

You stole my story.

WTF facebook notifies a person when i download someone's photo?! fuckk...

Anonymous

Were doomed

How did you get tumblr famous? You haven't even had your blogs long if I remember right
Anonymous

I made http://maleminded.tumblr.com/ come to santa cruz, Ca. ill teach you how to surf. then we can go smoke weed and have sex.
Anonymous

My cousin and his whole family live there so I go down every once in awhile to longboard and visit. But as to your activities? I already can! Definitely and no. lol I bet crocodiles are pissed off that "crocs" no longer stands for "gigantic vicious reptile," but now means "gay shoe."
Anonymous

Buddy the Elf.

Anonymous

Whats your favorite color?

Sometimes I send nice anon messages to people, hoping I can make their day
Anonymous

Sometimes, when I see peoples urls on my dash, Ill randomly click on them and send them something like hey! I run maleminded. day=made. But if I ever become famous, Im going to do what Bill Murray does and just do random things to random common people. For example, unofficial recordings have stated that Bill sometimes goes into coffee shops, takes coffee out of peoples hands, takes a sip and says No one will ever believe you. Then just walks off with a smile. Personally, I would hit on women that most guys would just ignore. I cant wait for the day when there would be a group of silicone-filled bimbos like leeches on my nuts who I can tell to gtfo as I strut over to an overweight, divorced mother of 4 kids to give her the biggest, sloppiest, most passionate kiss of her life. just to let everyone know ahead of time, windows 8 was my idea
Anonymous

I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. - Its not a beautiful poem, but its very deep
Anonymous

you know what this reminded me of. this reminded me of I PUT YO HAND UP ON MAH HIP. WHEN I DIP YOU DIP WE DIP.

ONE PICTURE IS NOT AN UPDATE IT'S A BIG OLD FUCK YOU.

Anonymous

BWAHAHAHA I worked hard on that post okay. What are your thoughts on God's will?
Anonymous

I buy my clothes there all the time. But yeah. If you mean the impact that his will has on our lives, then I think that his will is almost proportional to ours. in that, in the end, his will is carried out throughours. despite our (free) will being imperfect, it has a perfect end result. update motherfucking northamerifuck, please<3
Anonymous

just motherfucking did <3 When you drop a deuce what do you do with your dick do you let it hang down? does it touch the water? do you put it up in front of you resting on the seat?
Anonymous

When its cold I let it hang. But if the tide is in (a lot of water in the bowl), i have to pee standing up. then I sit down to finish my business and flip it over. Because whenever I poop, I pee. if that makes sense. I'm in high school, and there's quite a few people who think I'm lesbian, even though I'm not. I try not to care, but I just can't. I don't know what to do about the rumor floating around.
Anonymous

Nothing. The more you care, the less control you have. I found a pussy assed version of MaleMinded called The Rules of a Gentleman. You should copy them and sell blog promotions for $5 each, but if you do you'd become a total sellout.
Anonymous

holy shit they probably make so much. naw. Ill stick to selling my nudes.

Other than Brad Pitt who else are your celebrity crushes?
v-incent

Jared Leto, Mark Wahlberg, Johnny Depp Why are they all guys? Idk. Maybe Im gay. what did you do today?
Anonymous

I slept until 4pm and then played age of empires. And now Im answering questions on tumblr. Then Im gonna go eat. why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he got hit by a bus.
Anonymous

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a corvette? I dont have a corvette in my garage. Why do aspirin bottles have cotton in the top? To remind niggers they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers!
Anonymous

omfg

if you follow me on autovisual, does that mean you also follow me on maleminded and itsjeremiah? or do you have separate accounts for them?
Anonymous

mhmm. thats me what the difference between your app section and arcade section?
Anonymous

in the arcade section I have about 50 games and in the apps section.. its just random apps.

What do you mean its dead?

1 MONTH AGO
saw a license plate that said FAP on it yesterday and thought of you

78 NOTES

Anonymous

its funny because look at what shes doing with her hand. Aww you have a bible.
Anonymous

top 5 free apps in your opinion?

Anonymous

jailbreak that shit. best thing youll ever do. once you do, everything will be free. heres a couple screenshots from my ipod

1. So my favorite would be Downloads. (the green arrow in the bottom left hand corner) once you open that up, go to http://en.dilandau.eu/ and download any song straight to your ipod. 2. then I would have to say Shazam. Just because it saves my ass music-wise. 3. gPSphone. One word: Pokemon 4. Installous. Download any app for free 5. Lane splitter. Because its awesome. My high score is 11,000.

Im visiting seattle on the 16th with alexis. anybody want a visit?

1 MONTH AGO 83 NOTES

like if Ive never answered one of your asks

1 MONTH AGO
(via seriouseffect)

875 NOTES

1 MONTH AGO
wow, stickers and bracelets? could you be any more of a narcissistic prick?
Anonymous

978 NOTES

nope! i think bracelets are a good idea, but you should get stickers made instead. that way, we can buy them in bulk and stick them wherever we go. so that way, when we're on opposite ends of the country and we see that we have crossed paths with fellow minions, i just can't even imagine.
Anonymous

dude. woah. ok both it is I think this blog has become more of a question blog... it's good that you have another one where your ask box isn't probably flooded
Anonymous

It actually is a question blog. And started out that way. I made it because of all the questions I was getting on maleminded doesnt it suck when youre in midpoop and someone else sits in the stall beside you and you know theyre gunna poop to and you dont wanna poop beside them cuz its weird so you just cut it off there and leave and sit in your room uncomfortable for the next few hours?
Anonymous

on the other hand, Ive spent so many hours of my life just sitting there not breathing. or making any noise at all. hoping, praying to god that they would just hurry the fuck up so that I could poop in peace. Then I just

make weird faces as they unleash a load of turd into the stool oblivious that Im there. And then all of a sudden. kerPLUNK. you accidentally let one go.

hes silent. youre silent. then you die.

i'm always afraid to write an ask off anon on your blog because i'm afraid you'll judge me if i ask a stupid question or if i say something stupid...
Anonymous

Like if you share this opinion

what does your private tumblr contain?

Anonymous

(-_/\_-) look its a narwhal the porn you posted was fucking amazing, have any more suggestions?
Anonymous

I havent fapped in weeks as Im seeing dossy soon. so not right now. but Ill find some around January 7th Im sure. i fap after i crap :3
Anonymous

I fap while I crap in your lap after I tap the map that I trapped in my iPhone app oh snap what a rap. poop. I fap and I don't give a crap.
Anonymous

I fap while I crap. I'm meeting up with my ex over christmas break for coffee. What should I wear to make him want me?
Anonymous

cover up the boobs. yoga pants the ass. that way youll look modest/hot/dgaffin/not desperate at the same time. I would screw you in the starbucks bathroom. I'm a girl. I bate all the time. Sorry about it prudes.
Anonymous

asking wether someone masturbates or not is my default lie test. I think my boyfriend asked that question. shit.
Anonymous

Bro tips is a blog you should all unfollow. It is pointless and will not teach you anything. Whoever runs it has never stepped outside of his/her pathetic little room. I would bet all my money and nudes that they search their answers or questions on google and make them look interesting. If you can't see past their bullshit, you need to wake up. Splash some vodka in your face. Masturbate. Then realize how ridiculous that blog is. Thank you. Have a good night.
Anonymous

Everything except that vodka thing. Dont waste that stuff. My bootycall and I hung out with my friends for the first time the other night and I realized I have feelings for him. How do I go about bridging the gap from bootycall to relationship?
Anonymous

woah! thats so weird and unusual! see if he gets jealous when he sees you around other guys. if not, deal. if so, seal the deal. I should write slogans for infomercials. This year, I had two of my closest friends die in a drunk driving incident, they were the ones who were drunk. Over the years, so much of my family have become alcoholics. I had a best friend too, since childhood, went

way back. I trusted him so much. I came so SO close to liking him as more than a friend. But he went to a party, got drunk, and got into an accident. He survived, but lost most of his memory, and doesn't have a clue who I am. And people call me a pussy when I refuse a drink.
Anonymous

well fuck those people. What's the best color of lingerie for fair skin women?
Anonymous

bright faded yellow. for any girl. it makes you look innocent. spoiling innocence is a fetish of mine. sorry about that. lately i have been so fed up with my girlfriend that i'm having thoughts of breaking up with her. she doesn't listen most of the time, and the rest of the time she doesn't figure out solutions herself. when i give her the solution, she doesn't like it and we get into fights. i know that it's give and take, but its more like 85% me giving and getting nothing in return. if we throw sex into the equation, she doesn't listen to some of my requests.
Anonymous

this has happened to me. in the past, when I mentioned the unbalance of giving/taking we had, she would promptly spout off a list of things shes done for/given me. in all honesty, i would have to agree to most of it. while I felt like my task load was so great in terms of giving, I overlooked a lot of things she had done for me. at the time, our remedy was bickering. it only made things worse. I would suggest spending time apart from each other. dont take breaks. FUCK breaks. people use breaks to cheat emotionally or physically. and if that shit happened, Im gone. because if I LOVE a girl, theres no way I would ever think of doing that. same rule applies with her. sorry for going off topic. just thinking ahead. on another note, few arguments cant be settled with a genuine hug/fuck. relationships arent about giving in order to receive, theyre about giving because you love them. right? any tips for flirting in class?
Anonymous

if youre a girl, sharpen your pencil until its really short. if hes holding a normal -sized pencil, look over at it in shock and awe saying oh my god your pencil is sooo lonng. gave me a boner. hell be like wtf. but at least he knows youre a free agent now. that really made no sense. dont follow my advice. youll look like a freak. I'm certain that your password protected tumblr is where you stow nudes for dossy. Am I right?
Anonymous

haha no. I dont store her nudes. I blow them up into giant posters and tape them to my ceiling for fap time. Passwords I've tried on your protected tumblr: fightclub, suxcoxndix, cunt69, newageempires, invertednipple, hammercock, and iwannafuckdoss

Anonymous

ah so close! iwannafuckbradpitt69 when i noticed that no new asks were being responded to, i then realized that you probably had plans on a friday night like the rest of the world. then when i saw that one picture and response it comforted my bad night in some very strange way.
Anonymous

tumblr app. woo! feel sad

Did you know there's a jermiahvanguilder tumblr url that's password protected?
togaru

jeremiah* and yeah. its mine Odysseus: A horse... Yes! A big wooden horse. Ajax: I don't understand. Will it fight?
wereallbrandnew

lets be best friends

Ensemble Studios, the guys who made Age of Empires and Age of Mythology, was shut down a few years ago. It was one of the saddest days of my life.
Anonymous

the FUCK. Ive been googling new age of empires for years now hoping for a new one. fuck this Which Age of Empires? Part 2 is my personal favorite.
joservca

3. only for the online play. but YES they need to re make that with better graphics. but age of mythology was bamf as well re: downshifting - you won't feel a jerk if you double clutch. also sometimes it is necessary to downshift to first, like in bumper to bumper traffic or in parking lots. i'm surprised you didn't know this, mr. know-it-all.
rockedtodeth

double clutching is required in non-synchro transmissions and only useful when racing. not every day driving. plus, a girl that doesnt even know the purpose of downshifting isnt going to know about double clutching in the first place. much less use it. and I was talking about using first gear to slow down. going into first in bumper to bumper traffic will keep your car in a slow, steady crawl. not for braking. which was what we were talking about. I haven't left the house in 4 days and I don't care. I mean I want to leave, I don't WANT to be inside forever, but I have no motivation to leave. I got dressed today and was going to go Christmas shopping, but I didn't get out the door before I realised I didn't want to. I am so confused. This isn't like me. Am I depressed?
Anonymous

Nope. you just have a tumblr. I seriously played aoe for 5 hours straight today after not playing it for years. I love that game. real life can just smd. My girlfriend and I check your blogs almost religiously, but when you posted the actual porn links I wasn't sure how she was going to take it, since she is still a virgin, which wont change for another few months until we are married. But we ended up masturbating together to the videos you posted. Thanks man you are fucking awesome.
Anonymous

wow thats pretty damn cool! Im jelly. best man? you know you want me. Ill write a good toast I swear. I'm 16 and just got my car which is a stick, and I've learned to drive it .. kinda. But the girl who asked about the downshift thing... I don't understand exactly what she's asking. Don't you have to downshift to get to 1st? I probably sound so extremely stupid but I'd like to save my transmission if I'm doing something wrong.
zeta-beta

shes talking about getting the transmission into a lower gear in order to have the engine slow the car down rather than the brakes. for example if youre on the highway hitting about 2k rpm, shifting down will cause

you to feel a little jerk because the transmission is forcing the engine at a higher rpm (probably around 3k) causing the car to slow up. but downshifting into first gear is never really necessary. because at that point, youre basically going 5mph Is it gay to talk about shoes with a girl? I just did and I feel like I've done something horribly wrong here...
lovesdeafjusticesblindimneither

its gay to worry about how gay you are I even scored a 31 on the act while I was high off hydrocodone and tramadol.
Anonymous

That is remarkably impressive. You've gotten types of "questions" that have talked about the way life works, and how its stupid we just go through all this stress, and we're slaves for work for basically our entire lives. What's your opinion or thoughts on that? It's something that bothers me too because it's true and I wanna hear what you have to say about it. You know what I mean right?
Anonymous

I think the seemingly worldwide community were surrounded by is so inundated with promises of happiness and success that we begin to believe that its the only thing worth striving for. We are drawn to predictability and a safe lifestyle that promises a paycheck after every week because in that lies comfort. we fear the unknown and yet we complain that we arent living the life we should be. we want the best of both roads while hypocritically complaining that we have no other option. but its almost true if you rely on money to get you to the point of being able to turn the tables of your own quickly ending timeline. but before we know it, once that paycheck starts coming in, we settle and force ourselves to become content. we become that face in the crowd thats loved by few, affected by most and feared by our past. For some reason, no matter how "terrible" the confession is (with a few extreme exceptions), I can't help but feel sorry for the person confessing. Just because some people have done something that some may deem as "horrible", do you think that makes them a horrible person if they show genuine remorse and learn from their mistake?
Anonymous

Even the most morally flawless people make critical mistakes. that doesnt make them a bad person. it just makes them human. I have a lot of respect for that kid. Every day for him is probably more stressful that what you or I go through all month. I can't believe in the midst of that deeply disturbing confession he used the word "bro". #douche
Anonymous

I cant believe in the midst of reading that deeply disturbing confession you had the audac ity to be judgemental. #fuck off

i just gotta get this off my conscience, bro, but i was dating this girl for about 3 years but i was also in love with her best friend. we hooked up a few times while i was dating the first girl and she told me things she told no one else, like that she cut herself and attempted suicide, and she was anorexic. well one day she felt guilty and told my gf, her best friend what was going on between us, and i got mad in the moment and told her to go kill herself. she did. no one else knows why.
Anonymous

Oh my god

i dated this guy for 9 months & he turned out to be a total dbag. he cheated on me & all in all, did nothing but hurt me. so i broke up with him. after a month or two he became interested in one of my best friends but she said she wouldnt go there because she cares about our friendship too much & thought he was an ass. they hooked up anyway & now they're dating. needless to say we're no longer friends. now my friends are dating guys in that group & i get ditched & excluded for her/them. wwjd?
Anonymous

HA your friend is a bitch. What would I do? find new friends. say there were two girls. one A cup vs. fake C cup. you couldn't decide between the two because you really liked them both, their personalities, their beautiful faces. if you had to pick though. who would it be
Anonymous

A cup. fake boobs are revolting howw the hell can you be banned from adsense? you have the best blogs on tumblr and i think i follow all of them. youd be one rich dude though if you had ads on each one.
feelsniceuphere

right? I had ads up on maleminded for a whole a month. After that month, adsense owed me over $2500.00. After I gave then my social security number along with basically all my personal information, they sent me an email saying Were sorry. Your account has been banned for unknown reasons. And then they proceeded to pocket all the money for themselves. I wanted to rape a cow. Just gonna say, if you made youtube videos, and posted them to tumblr. You would get views. Enough views to get sponsored. And that would earn you money. Money for college. And cake. Think about it. BitterSuite
the-bitter-suite

Ive been banned from adsense already :/ feelsbadman Your "heyyyyyy" post just came up on my dash. 5,506 notes, source is vintagevixen4787 AND it has a 9gag watermark on it.
curiosityandfear

haha yeah 9gag stole it, buzzfeed stole it, reddit stole it annnnd a few others.

MY older brother has a serious addiction, I've tried so hard to help support him by letting him stay with me and my girlfriend and I've tried to get him to stop so many times but nothing I ever say does anything and

he's not only destroying his life but mine, don't get me wrong, I love my brother to death and all I want it to help him
Anonymous

I think that by allowing him to live with you and basically not requiring him to support himself that hes only going to fall deeper into addiction. Whatever money or energy he does find is going to be invested into his addiction rather than getting himself back on his own feet because he knows that at the end of the day, youre supporting him. I think you should be there on an emotional and mental level for him by listening to him and not pushing into his life. Knowing that you care means that youre likely the first person hes going to contact when he finally realizes hes hit rock bottom. I dont think that enabling him is going to do him any good in the long run. I know your intentions are good and thats amazing. Keep it up. (via centaurel)

1 MONTH AGO

17,779 NOTES

I have two older sisters that committed suicide (one was 7 years ago, the other was 2 years ago), and now, I'm going through a really difficult time with school, my parents, my boyfriend, etc. Whenever I try to talk to someone about it, they joke that I'm trying to recreate the Virgin Suicides. I don't plan on committing suicide because I could never do that to my parents, but I wish that someone would take my depression seriously.
Anonymous

That makes sense. People are assholes. Could you please give us a big picture of your what looks altered icon?
Anonymous

I just slapped some christmas jizz on the kitteh.

Can you recommend some good music? I feel like I need some new stuff. Anything would be fine btw.
Anonymous

Ive been obsessed with IAMX lately. Put in headphones! And listen to every one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G-jMWzfj9gM http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0me5JCPdifg http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GKLHYaS65c http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFaJHRlT_3s You know why they put oxygen masks on planes? because oxygen gets you high.
Anonymous

In a catastrophic emergency, youre taking giant, panic breathes. Suddenly, you become euphonic. Docile. You accept your fate.Its all right here. Emergency water landing, six hundred miles an hour. Blank faces, calm as Hindu cows. I'm in a contest with my best friend that i can find one hilarious video that she would think is funny. I've shown her at least 50 and she still doesn't think it's funny. Help?
windowblu3s

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmy1-3kK15g&feature=related http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqXi8WmQ_WM I just checked how many of us are on your blog.... "69" (;
Anonymous

If I submit a faceless photo, will you please tell me if I have a nice ass? No one gets to see it, so I don't know if it is good or not.
Anonymous

No please dont you know to get an incognito window on google crome all you have to do it push control shift n right?
Anonymous

my favorite shortcut is alt+tab (hold down alt while you hit tab). its saved my life at least a dozen times. I think you're shallow. Yeah, you had a screwed up childhood. Well, congratulations, so has most of the human population. You're an overrated "tumblr famous" douche. You act so cocky sometimes, it's unbearable. There are four reasons I still follow you: 1. You like fight club. 2. You have a good story every once in a blue moon. 3. You hate brotips. 4. you've saved people from suicide, which I give you props for. I'm glad you take time out of your day to support people who need it. Kudos for that
Anonymous

sometimes i wonder if your anons are sincere, or if they're just saying shit about depressing lives and giving head to impress you.
Anonymous

Okay, so, I'm a girl and I drive stick, and I'm not really into cars, but here it goes.. My guy friends who drive stick all tell me not to downshift because it wears out the clutch etc. etc. but my parents taught me to downshift and I've been doing it that way for forever.. So, dilemma... who's right?
Anonymous

your guy friends. downshifting saves your brakes but ruins your transmission and vice versa. what would you rather replace? your brakes or transmission? Nice job on driving stick though. props Do you ever wonder why the fuck we do it all. We're expected to go to get good grades go to university get a career to support ourselves. I just hate that that's what life is. I can't stand that this is the world I live in but I don't have a choice. The worst part is that I can't see myself being happy living the life I know I'm going to live but I'm too much of a pussy to go live on some island survivor style or give up everything and become and Buddhist monk and live the simple life.
Anonymous

Will you give me examples of figurative language in the chapter Solitude from the book Walden?
Anonymous

We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but by a n infinite expectation of dawn, which does not forsake us in our soundest sleep. This statement of Waldens refers to the mechanical way we go through life. You wake up because you have to not by choice do you get up but by obligation. The mechanical aid is the alarm clock and thought less manner we wake up to a new day or new beginning and go through life. We dont live our moments like we want to we live them like we seem to have too. We dont look forward to the new we just go through uncaring thus doe s not forsake us in our soundest sleep. Hi just found your post and i just want to ask a question I'm In grade twelve, I'm a very shy guy. Like that guy from florda i have never kissed a girl or anything and am fairly good looking but until this year i was scrawny and didn't give fuck about how I look. but this year I got really big for football season,and I started to do up my hair and wear decent clothes but I am now in a conflict with about 4 girls who all want to date me but I have no idea what do do. do you have any tips. thanks
Anonymous

you poor guy. haha. go for a girl that wanted you before you were acceptable. any girl hopping on the bandwagon now is probably shallow "no. usually just because Im weirder deep down than most of you." challenge accepted.
Anonymous

I have slightly serious question. I recently got diagnosed with depression and it was so bad I had to withdraw from school. They put me on medication and I could say it helped, but it didn't make me feel better. It made me not feel better at all and I'm not sure if that's worth it. I think I'd rather feel like shit than feel nothing at all. What do you think I should do?

Anonymous

I think you should stay off medication and anti-depressants. my mom put me on them when I was about 1213 and I felt nothing different. The results that people report to having are mostly due to the placebo effect. that placebo effect can also backfire negatively when you feel no difference or change. the expectation of improvement only makes the ordinary seem worse. exercise. listen to music. run around your neighborhood naked at 2am for the fuckery of it. thats how I manage. what would you do if i donated $1000.... being completely serious.
Anonymous

take a trip to see you Have you ever tried to quit porn? If so, why?
Anonymous

I went 10 years without it. then I turned 11. since then, my record has been 3 years. mostly because I felt like I was just wasting my life jerking my dick in front of a computer screen. feels bad man. What would you do if one day you woke up and you were a cat?
Anonymous

HAHA well first I would lick mymeow meow meow meow meow meowmeow meow meow Would you rather fuck Brad Pitt or be Brad Pitt?
Anonymous

Id like to be brad pitt and just fuck myself. do you sometimes get creeped out a little by the questions that people ask you?
creelz

no. usually just because Im weirder deep down than most of you. I was going to ask you what kind of drumset you would love to have, seeing as I'm a fellow drummer. But instead, I decided to ask a serious question. I am a 20 year old male living in Florida and have never had a girlfriend, much less a kiss. Now, I will go ahead and say that I am a decent looking guy. Absolutely not trying to be cocky or anything. Girls have asked me out before. Some have even gone so far as to say they want to be my first everything. My question is, am I abnormal?
Anonymous

pearl with zildjian symbols. Florida is so humid man. at least you have universal studios though haha. yeah its abnormal. but its the opposite of a bad thing especially if youre an attractive guy that CAN but just doesnt. I mean, experience is usually a must have. but if you can pick it up quickly then youre usually golden. but how cool is your first gonna feel when you tell her that. Im jelly. Is it bad that when I watched the porn you suggested, I didn't get off on the porn- I got off on the idea of you getting off on the porn?

Anonymous

hope you enjoyed~~ You have creepy ass dreams

Anonymous

I used to have the what-the-fuck-Im-at-recess-completely-naked dreams. where I couldve SWORN I just stepped out of the shower and all of a sudden there I was on my 3rd grade playground wet and naked hoping nobody would notice. I am Jack's imagination.
jacks-imagination

When I was little, my single mother made me watch the sound of music what seemed like 100 times a month. so for the majority of my childhood, I would have dreams about nuns. It was the same everytime. I would be sliding down the slide at mcdonalds and ever 30 seconds or so, there would be a fork or split in the slide. I would have to choose either left or right. and everytime, choosing the right side would land me in a pit of nuns just waiting to literally eat me alive. so naturally, I would always go left. but this only meant 30 more seconds of torturous nuns poking their heads out of the slide taunting me with their evil cackling. this dream re-occured so many times that I eventually knew I was dreaming every time it hapened. so, knowing that the nun pit of death would just kill me and wake me up, I went right from then on out. When you watch porn what do you look at most? Like the sex or the oral? Pretty much what do you focus on the most?
annaxbanana

between those? the sex. but for me, I find the transitions really hot. idk why. maybe because its less planned or more natural or something. its weird. but I love watching girls ch ange positions. The arrested cheerleader pornhub video was my favorite before you posted it. knucks bro.
Anonymous

*bump* if you could be any pokemon, what would you be?

Anonymous

Arcanine. A fire breathing tiger that stands at exactly my height weighing 360lbs? I think yes. My friend "asks" you questions often and gets really excited whenever you post them. Can I please have that feeling too? So I ask; what is your favourite color?
Anonymous

yellow. hows it feel?? jeremiah, if you have a boner right now, post this
Anonymous

this sounds lame, but what is your life story? i started following you recently and im confused
Anonymous

If you scroll for a really long time and use ctrl+f to your advantage, youll find it Were you close with your siblings growing up? If so, how did they react when your mom kicked you out?.. just wondering, I can't ever imagine my brother sitting idly if my parents tried that.
Anonymous

I was raised an only child. The only brothers and sisters I have are step/half. There were seven of them and I didnt live with any of them. So it didnt really have much of an impact nomnomnom uncircumcised dick
Anonymous

I think if I ever came in contact with a circumcised dick I'd run away.
Anonymous

You probably wont like most American guys I'm sitting here with my tall Starbucks mocha, a 32gig iPhone, a $400 bracelet, expensive clothes and makeup, and a few hundred dollars in my bank. I have two jobs and a solid family, a lovely boyfriend and good friends. So why am I not happy?
Anonymous

Because youre used to having the expectation of material possessions relationships, and temporary happiness leading to true happiness. Im guessing you ve always gotten more, so youve basically been taught to always wantmore. A good definition of happiness is being content. The ability to be content is hard to come by. Try giving up some impractical things. Itll be hard. But thats what she said. suggest more porn please
Anonymous

Oh god. Let me look in my bookmarks

The girl in this. unf: http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=640179458 this girl is a major butter face, but her body. fuck: http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=5792f9a91c2d36439e75 On this one, skip to 8:12: http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=f82e178a2e1b0f7583c6 Im such a horrible person. my school banned any shirts that "reveal more than 1/4 inch of breast"
weshallovercomebitches

Id pay to be the guy that runs around with a ruler checking everybody. me and my boyfriend have a good sex life, but we've never done anything too crazy. i was thinking either whipped cream or chocolate sauce. which one is better?
emilychrsitine

Nutella Just dip it in and suck it off I WANNA SHOVE MY COG IN YOUR NITO
Anonymous

It's true (referring to the yoga pants), my school banned them and many of my neighboring towns' schools have banned them as well
bleedblackandgold30

if the girl has to get the plan b pill, do you think that the guy should pay for some/all/none of it? what if the girl is just freaking out and being paranoid?
Anonymous

For me, whenever those came into the picture, I was basically checking her mouth with a flashlight making sure she swallowed it. I feel like it should at least be a mutual effort. Plus, its hilarious when someone you know is the pharmacist. Especially when they know your girlfriends parents. i really want to watch the porn you posted but my parents have a way of checking computer history even if i clear it all.... fuck, this sucks big time
Anonymous

Download google chrome. Click the little wrench in the top right corner of the browser. Click New incognito window life saver Did you hear that some schools in America are trying to ban yoga pants because apparently they're to distracting. :O
always-faithfull

How the fuck are kids going to be motivated to keep coming back? Breaks between classes are what got me through the day. Girls in skin-tight spandex walking around gave everyone a tent. Oh and for the record, guys dont let you go first on an escalator because theyre nice. We do it because

Is there normally like 166 people on your page? Or are they all hunting for that 'amazing' porn? I totallly did not do that myself.
Anonymous

http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=710211270 Supposedly there's a snapple fact that says "not all snapple facts are true". Do you ever wonder if all the facts on your blog are true?
Anonymous

What if that snapple fact wasnt true.

There's a really cute guy who lives on the floor below me, but on the off occasion we do share a flirty elevator ride, there's barely time to even exchange weather observations. What could I do to get things off the ground? Should I just go down to his floor and knock on all the doors dressed in lingerie? Too forward?
Anonymous

Do that. But have some side reason to be down there. Like My shower isnt working. Can I use yours? (dress in a towel instead). If he says no, hes gay, has a girlfriend, or you are just not attractive. I am Jack's lame ask.
Anonymous

I am Jacks predictable answer. dude i masturbated so hard to that porn. that was so fucking great thank you (ballsack)
Anonymous

Thats one of my favorites. no problem haha Whhhhhhhoa. What's up with you changing the price of your virginity?
Anonymous

I had some ice cream. When self-confidence drops, so does self-worth.

I think that other anon made a good point about the bracelet buying: I realllllly hope you wouldnt blow all the money you get on booze and weed and stupid shit. I'm 20 so I first hand on all the stupid shit I buy but its with MY earnings. I'd be pissed if I like bought from a "fund raiser" type thing and it all went to shit stuff. Kinda like paying taxes....but you catch my tokyo drift.
Anonymous

I love you for that last reference. But as it is now, every cent I make where I work goes to college. so I obviously wouldnt just spend whatever money I might get for these bracelets on anything else. After some estimating, it turns out that Id only be making a few cents with every bracelet I send you guys. I dont want to rip you off and I dont want to become some charity case. But, on the other hand, I tend to splurge very easily on the following things: -chipotle -PCC/trader joes -goodwill tshirts -life size posters of brad pitt

My plan,
is to open up a store next to Forever 21 an call it Finally 22

1 MONTH AGO

378 NOTES

I made a gif of me in the shower

1 MONTH AGO

63 NOTES

so, sex with the ex today. Previous experience coupled with a few of your tips had her legit squirting over my face when i ate her out. Fucking legend ;D
Anonymous

This guy is a lyrical genius. This is our generations anthem.

1 MONTH AGO
you say in bed that your man is a lame guy? having sex with him is like watching paint dry?
hybridizedhuman

80 NOTES

dayummmn. I really hope that that aint true. Cause if it is (is) then heres what immma do for you. And when you get here, Im not just gonna bang it, Imma smash it too so lets just say im gonna smang it omg someone actually bought your virginity? wouldn't this be a scam if not, will it come back in stock soon
Anonymous

its on sale right now http://itsjeremiah.bigcartel.com/product/my-virginity circumcised or uncircumcised (mines is uncircumcised) u think girl will care?
Anonymous

manuel ferrara is my hero hahah http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=710211270 oh um. if youre at least 18. Where can you watch fight club for free cuz its not on netflix...
Anonymous

http://www.megavideo.com/?v=95A67ZIH click the red play button. an ad will pop up. close the ad. click play. That guy in the gif which you posted after someone said "i wish heath ledger was still alive, i'd fuck him so hard." , Who is he ? I must know !
repressedslacker

Heath Ledger.

not everyone who would buy the bracelets is a fangirl. some of us want to buy it because we wanna help u out with paying for college. dont be a douche about it man...
Anonymous

trying. I really love you guys. my boyfriend is currently overseas and reads your blogs religiously. but that's not why I'm here. we actually met because you answered one of his questions once and I went to view his blog, and that's how we started talking. we're getting married when he comes home from his 2nd tour. so, thank you :) oh, and if you make bracelets, I'll be buying them for his entire platoon :D have a good night, Jeremiah.
Anonymous

you guys. Families are being created. Am I being irrational for getting mad at my girlfriend for kissing her guy friends on the neck?
Anonymous

no How would you take orders?

Anonymous

http://itsjeremiah.bigcartel.com/ How does it feel knowing people believe you are more than human?
Anonymous

can you actually make bracelets? it would be awesome to see people wearing them and see that they're from tumblr and read your blog.
Anonymous

the odds are suuuper low of actually seeing someone wearing it, but who knows haha. I am prepared to be best friends with anyone I see wearing one. but yes, Ive already ordered mine just to see if it turns out okay. It says what would I do. Im the biggest tool in the world. But I think Im just going to buy like 500 that say No Hetero. Id wear that hahaaha. Oh, and Ill sign/wear every single one I sell if you ask me to. maybe ill put it around my penis too. for an extra grand. you think that its the mans job? everyone has always told me its the girls job.
Anonymous

just my opinion I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we dont need. Were the middle children of history, man. No purpose or pl ace. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great Wars a spiritual war our Great Depression is our lives. Weve all been raised on television to believe that one day wed all be millionaires..
Anonymous

and movie gods, and rock stars. But we wont. And were slowly learning that fact.

I have a serious-ish question. so me and my boyfriend have been dating for 8 months and we're really serious and i'm really in love with him, but we haven't said "i love you" to each other yet. I'm just wondering if I should say it first or if I should wait for him to say it? anyways hope your day is going well:) thanks!
Anonymous

All I know is that I held out on saying it for SO LONG with my ex. Just waiting for the perfect time. one time she did something really stupid causing us to get in a fight. so she said it first and used it in a manipulative

way. I was so pissed. your situation is probably going to be different. But Id say, as the man of the relationship, its his job. wait it out yo how do we send u a question?
Anonymous

I love balls and give the benefits to testicular cancer awareness

mergersandaquisitions

whats your personal blog?

paige-and-co

i like how you are going to pay for college by selling stuff with your name on it to internet fangirls.
Anonymous

me too i want a shirt. signed by you

Anonymous

20$ extra 5$ and Ill rub it on my body Im such a fucking douche.

annnd what should it say?

1 MONTH AGO 145 NOTES

like if you would ACTUALLY buy one.

1 MONTH AGO 382 NOTES

For cost/shipping, it would cost around 5$ per bracelet. too much?

1 MONTH AGO
The great warrior Ghengis Khan died in bed while having sex.
Anonymous

180 NOTES

I have a prediction, one day you will be famous both for your blog and designing vehicles, But then one day while waving to your millions of fans In your motorcade convertible a lone brainwashed gunmen from brotips will shoot attempt to assassinate you, but your ego will be so massive by then even more than that of kanye's it will deflect the bullet using your security as a human shield
Anonymous

you should totally make bracelets. so then, i can see somebody wearing them and know they read your blog. but nobody else would know. it'd be like a cult. everybody can find others that read your blog, and we can all be one giant group of friends.
Anonymous

I would bet 3/6 tabs you have open are porn.

Anonymous

5/6

Black... like my coffee. Like my soul.

Anonymous

There was this slut who was hanging and drooling all over my boyfriend, so I asked myself "what would Jeremiah tell me to do?" She is now nursing a black eye and my boyfriend's treating my hand...
Anonymous

so what color should the bracelets be? The more I read your answers to questions (except the really serious ones), I get the feeling that the answers you give, you give them just for your own amusement(: for instance: 1. hold penis 2. move hand up and down. i bet you looked at that, rofl'd, then posted it
Anonymous

are you spying on me? i don't even mean to but i think about you all day. and whenever i think of some strange life question I'm like, "dang i wonder if jeremiah would answer that..." or "wwjd..." do you feel the pressure? it even creeps me out.

Anonymous

I am severely overrated. but on another note, I should start selling wwjd bracelets that say Jeremiah on them and pay for college in the most conceited way possible. IM SO FUCKING HIGH RIGHT NOW.
Anonymous

If a special-Ed student is late to class, is it okay to call him tardy? I've been thinking alot about my past recently man and i was just wondering. You ever miss your childhood?
thekiddannn

I would give anything to have it back Last night I finally got around to watching Fight Club after my friend's constant insisting and my curiosity from what you say about it on your blog. I'm now in love with that movie. It all makes sense now.
Anonymous

I get cancer, I kill Jack. Over the last five months, my cat has gone from a trim, healthy nine pounds to double that. I still think she's beautiful, but she's just so obese now and i worry about her health. How do I tell her to lose some weight? (she gets upset/offended easily)
Anonymous

sprinkle some cat nip into a bowl of diet kibble. shell be offended and high at the same time. neutr alizing her mood and getting her back into her girlish figure in no time. do you listen to mac miller?
trippinmeout

do you poop into your own hand and shove it in your ear? do you like the song hide and seek by imogen heap? just wondering
Anonymous

I love that song. I love you bro, total homo

Anonymous

No hetero NorthAmerifuck is a reminder to me that repressing the complexity of who I am as an individual- the brighter side, AND the darker side, is a waste of time. To find things beautiful and intricate that most in our culture would find disturbing, morbid, or a waste of time, doesn't make me any less of a person. We're all human beings and we all need to expresses the things from within us, rather than letting so much of ourselves remain as skeletons in a closet. Thats what NorthAmerifuck does for me.

Anonymous

My best friend told me he's in love with me even though he knows that I have a 2+ year relationship. When I told him that I didn't want to go out with him he told all of my friends I was a bitch. Now none of them will talk to me unless I break up with my bf and go out with him. Thoughts?
Anonymous

Shallow people judge you for shallow reasons. Let them leave. I have to say Northamerifuck grosses me out or even scares me on a regular basis with what gets posted, especially when it's pictures of cutting scars or other body damage, but I think it's so interesting because it opens up a side of culture that I really ignore most of the time. Even though I don't want to know about or think about it, it's important to know what's going on in the world and Northamerifuck does a good job showing me what's behind a door I rarely open.
animationsatiation

Im spamming your dash. But deal with it. I love hearing these. northamerifuck honestly made me not go though with suicide. i was at a stage where i felt so unwanted and strange and just not normal. i started contemplating suicide so much. but then i started getting into that blog and i realized that it's legit beautiful in the most twisted manner ever, and it made me feel like i wasn't as weird and twisted as i thought i was. so basically your chaotic mind made me feel not so bad about my chaotic mind, if that makes any sense. so all you dumbasses can stfu.
Anonymous

I am madly in love with your mind. northamerifuck is grotesque in a way that i don't want to look at it, but at the same time i can't turn from it. to some people it might be just a bunch of disturbing images, but when i see it i feel like i'm peering into the depths of human nature. i don't know how to really express if, but it feels as if it's pulling at all the wrong strings to bring out something hidden away inside all of us
Anonymous

I read this while listening to Missile by IAMX. I got goosebumps from head to toe. I've been following Northamerifuck for a couple of months now and it's definitely my favorite blog on tumblr by far. The genius variety of anarchism, violence, and pop culture references really shows you a state of mind you wouldn't know you have. It's beautiful in a sick shocking way.
Anonymous

One of the best descriptions Ive heard yet i don't understand why people like northamerifuck so much
Anonymous

you cant sit with us

HOLY MOTHER FUCK. Northamerifuck is art at its finest. you're talented. I'd say it's orgasmic, but it more makes me want to puke, in the sweetest way. it's my top visited web site besides youtube, tumblr, and facebook. kudos.
Anonymous

If you like that blog, I like you. lets have babies. Gotta agree with the anon from a few asks ago. The dark side of your mind comes out in northamerifuck and it's really hot.
Anonymous

fangirling is only allowed when it comes to northamerifuck. I love that blog. I really think its beautiful. in a chaotic sort of way. I always wanna click the submit link on your blog cause it makes me think of you dominating me and me submitting to you. Is that weird?
Anonymous

I don't know why people complain about northamerifuck. That's the blog that makes me want to have sex with you the most.
ibetibarelyreacted

i once was in a public park and had to shit really badly, so i took the dump of all dumps, but it wouldn't go down. i kept flushing and flushing until finally i was like fuck it and stepped on it. voila, solution to other anon's problem
Anonymous

One time, I was driving to visit my girlfriend at the time, and right before I entered her neighborhood, I realized I had to take a titanic shit. Not wanting to shit at her house and potentially clog the drainage pipes of the entire city, I decided to pull over and take a poo next to a pond. Leafs were my best friend. Is it possible to be in love with you, but in a straight way? Cos' if not I think I have serious problems...
Anonymous

The English language sucks. in Greek: Mania = I love that shirt! Eros = basically just sexual Philos = brotherly love I love you, man Storgy = motherly love

Agapeo = the most complete form of love. But anyways, I philos you too, bro. would you go on Ellen if she asked you? i work for her studio and will put your name in
Anonymous

Im tempted to believe you.. but youre on anon D: dreams i have problems similar to ones other people have messaged you about. just wanted to say that a question you posted a little while ago saved my life. literally, i was going to kill myself that night and you saved me. i love you so much.
Anonymous

My mouth dropped. I dont know what to say. Next time someone tells me Im wasting my time on Tumblr, Im showing them this. thank you. and as fellow human being, I love you too tell me something intresting about yourself?
Anonymous

I was medically dead for 6 hours when I was 10 days old. My heart was on an operating table next to me chilling there without a pulse. Im literally a zombie. holla I agree, I am 19 male still a virgin; am not waiting for marriage just waiting for someone I can trust. Have never had many people that I really trust in my life.
Anonymous

I approve of this message. Thank you.

Anonymous

you know you're going to get millions of asks of people saying they want to kill themselves for your number now right?
Anonymous

I dont mind 10 random people having my number if it means I can save a life. im so sick of all of the shit i get. im sick of everything. im going to kill myself tonight. but im making it look like an accident so my little sister doesnt have to know why im gone.
Anonymous

come off anon and Ill give you my number and we can talk. Im so fucking horny and it sucks because my boyfriend's not here. Is it acceptable to drag a guy into a corner and start pulling his cloths off? Cuz I think I might do that.
Anonymous

If its your boyfriend. if not, fuck you. today at the mall my friend and i saw this kid with a boner
gel-pens

.____. was it near the Cinnabon? Whats one strong belief you have that most people woul d disagree with?
hiddinspiration

Im ugly.

I was just wondering what your criteria for answering asks is? You post some really silly things sometimes (I am not complaining about this, though). The reason I'm asking, however, is because I've sent you, like, five or six asks since I've started following you (here and maleminded) and what I've asked you is really important to me, dealing with issues like my boyfriend hitting me and flirting with other girls. You never answered them but you'll post asks about shit and farts. What gives?

Anonymous

Im really sorry. A lot of the time Im just exhausted and not really looking to rack my brain. The type of asks I answer are usually just reflective of my mood. Im sure you could ask some other level-headed people on tumblr. Everyone wants asks. I have over 30,000. So the odds are low. Spread the love. My friend who I'm pretty sure I'm in love with told me he ants to have sex with me. He has a girlfriend.
Anonymous

Youre in love with a cunt. does faq mean fuck? because i whenever i ask people simple questions they're always just like "faq" and i don't get what i'm doing wrong
Anonymous

hahahaahah. da fuq = What the fuck. faq = Frequently Asked Questions. handjob tips? please answer im seeing my bf tonight :)
Anonymous

I am so sick of getting this motherfucking question. 1. Hold penis. 2. Move hand up and down. i just farted and it smells so bad. i turned on my computer to tell u this. i dont even know why.
Anonymous

I just pooped and you know when it gets stuck in a position that is unflushable well that happened and it was a public bathroom and I flushed it 78;46838 times but it just wouldn't go and I'm pretty sure all the employees here know it was me. It's huge. What do I do
Anonymous

Stop flushing for a while so the bowl can fill up a little bit with water and hopefully your turd will float to the surface and re-position itself until its flushable. If its really stuck, youre gonna ha ve to find something to physically prod it until it breaks free. And just say that the person before you took an epic dump and clogged it. Thats what I always do. Next time just flush it every time you pinch it off.

Going through double doors

1 MONTH AGO
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34C
Anonymous

238 NOTES

when I search tags for itsjeremiah

1 MONTH AGO

24 NOTES

last night I had this really awesome sex with this guy and I was stoned and when I'm stoned I'm REALLY horny plus I'm on my period plus he knows what the hell he's doing but for some UNGODLY fucking reason I didn't cum and now I'm paranoid he's grossed out by the period thing despite the fact he's had lotsssss of sex before and has surely experienced worse. I don't know why I'm telling you this.
Anonymous

(via jediyakoop)

1 MONTH AGO

21,721 NOTES

Do u ever wonder if ur wasting ur life? I'm so focused on getting into a good college that I don't have fun anymore. I go to school and learn and then I go home to do more work. What if I die tomorrow? Then my whole life was pointless.
Anonymous

My boyfriend of eight months broke up with me through someone else, without any reason. What should I do with the dirty pics he sent me?
flaitscraig

do have his parents numbers? grandparents? even better. tags on facebook. unless hes got a big dick. doing that would only get him more women. so, i know you like cats... any good ideas of a name for one?
Anonymous

I really like Zeus

Do you believe in the concept of born again virgins?

Anonymous

no?

i wish heath ledger was still alive, i'd fuck him so hard.
Anonymous

So, a girl that I dont know sent me a naughty picture of herself.... I'm assuming it was the wrong number. LOL. What should I say in response? YOU BETTER ANSWER THIS YOU BITCH. Also... I'm a girl. hahaha. Too bad I'm not a boy because it would have been the best day of my life otherwise.
Anonymous

I was about to say.. dude. fap. Just tell her Honey, this is your father. Your mother and I are very disappointed in you. Then send her picture messages of every dump you ever take. Wow I give some horrible advice sometimes.

Oh holy shit stop you are killing me too much hilarity... Its so wrong. BUT SO FUCKING FUNNY
Anonymous

I dont want followers anyways

1 MONTH AGO

71 NOTES

I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I sure can make your bed rock ;)
Anonymous

Haha. That's so funny, the last time I head that, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.
Anonymous

Have you ever tasted your own jizz?

Anonymous

I wanna roll you up into a little ball and shove you up my vagina. You could just live there. It's warm and it's cozy. I wanna walk around with you in there and just know that whenever I feel a little tickle or scratch that it's just your hair up my vagina. Please, just do it for me
Anonymous

If you dont reblog this I hate you.

1 MONTH AGO
Hey there. How do you like your eggs? Over easy, or fertilized?
fulltimedingbat

280 NOTES

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6x-JVXkd8SQ But seriously the funniest pickup line i've ever heard "Do my shoes match my eyes?" They look at your shoes then your eyes. "Did you just check me out?"
nothanksjustlooking

K. so that picture you posted a while ago on something, demanding that women should shave their pussy. I took this to heart and have been adamant about shaving ever since. And now I have HORRIBLE, painful ingrown hairs. WTF man? Am I doing something wrong or are women doomed to either have Chewbacca or a Leper down there?
Anonymous

http://itsjeremiah.tumblr.com/post/13604615771/i-know-this-sounds-dumb-but-i-get-awful-razor-bumps did you hear there was a blackout in alabama last night? no? don't worry, they shot him.
goodtimingsarahgibson

HA

my birthday`s on Xmas can you let me see your face as a gift?

Anonymous

you forgot 'drunk' on why people cheat.

Anonymous

This is super awkward but i'm nervous about how I smell and taste down there. I've never had a guy go down on me cause i'm so self conscious. I feel stupid even asking but how do I get over that? I douche and bathe and everything but I'm crazy nervous about that
Anonymous

as long as you really clean it out, it will taste and smell neutral like its supposed to. unless you have an infection. if you want to test it out yourself, sniff coffee beans (it neutralizes the odors in your nose), let your fingers go to town, then smell. If its within a few hours of a shower, youre definitely okay. half a day without

a shower, probably okay. whole day just check first. I dont know what she did specifically, but after my ex spent 60 seconds of alone time with the bathroom sink, she was sparkly clean. dude, i need some fucking good blogs.
Anonymous

scroll or awhile on my page, hit ctrl+f, then type in blogs or good blogs or follow. Ive posted at least three lists. Why DO people cheat?
Anonymous

Excitement Dissatisfaction Theyre horny Think they wont get caught Lack of a conscience Lack of love The inability to say no Boyfriend has small wiener Girlfriend is on her period Other person is attractive Revenge the biggest insecurity i have about my body would be my private parts. like, it is definitely not symmetrical down there- one of my lips is a lot bigger than the other one. i dont know how guys will respond to this because it doesnt look pretty, so whenever i'm getting friskay with a dude, i never let him eat me out (even though i really really want to) out of fear that he is going to judge me for that. is this irrational? how do guys usually respond to unsymmetrical vags??
Anonymous

Vaginas are weird looking things to begin with. The first time I saw one was when I witnessed a live birth when I was 8. That was horrific enough. But its something that is learned to be appreciated. Unless its like super funky, hell appreciate it no matter what. Like if I had one ball bigger than the other, Id still let my woman lick em. Wow graphic. my b What do you do when you know you fucked up every chance with a girlfriend and still want to get back together with her? She's basically in love with my bestfriend. We broke up a week ago and she's already "over me and just wants to be friends". We dated for 9 months.
Anonymous

I dont know how youll ever remedy things again. But I do know that youll never get her back by being persistent because that will only come off as desperate and subconiously make her believe that shes better than you. which shes not. 9 months? One week later? thats rough. sometimes, when i think back on a moment where i made a man come and i really enjoyed it i get a very special feeling in my belly. for example when i think back on giving head to that guy i find really hot or so. it's a feeling i only experience in these very situations. it makes me smile and feels terribly good. it's a little bit like when you go around a loop on a rollercoaster. just wondering if i'm the only person who knows that feeling.
Anonymous

In your belly? interesting. like if shes not alone I guess. I am applying for an internship and the guy who will be hiring me told me to be prepared with 10 questions to ask him. They can be about anything. I'm assuming the more clever they are, the more likely I am to be hired.. Help?
Anonymous

At the movie theater, which arm rest is yours? If a kid refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest? What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant? If an ambulance is on its way to save someone, and it runs someone over, does it stop to help them? How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink? Just to get you started +]

Pickup Lines That Work Every Time:

Id like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button. Excuse me, is that semen in your hair? My love for you is like diarrhea, I just cant hold it in. Your parents must be retarded, because youre special. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

1 MONTH AGO

157 NOTES

Am I the only one that picks up a packet of sugar at a restaurant and says "excuse me miss, you dropped your name tag"?
Anonymous

HA.hahah. not anymore. I need to use that. And use it on older, married women.

Sex isnt the answer. Sex is the question.

Yes. is the answer.

1 MONTH AGO

141 NOTES

I just started dating this guy who is about 6'3, I am barely at 5'4. We've been on a few dates so he obviously knows how short I am in comparison but we haven't kissed yet. Should I start wearing heels more often to compensate or just deal with the awkward situation of being nearly a foot shorter than him?
Anonymous

My friends parents are 54 and 64. those two are adorable. I locked my fingers in between my toes for the first time ever. It's a whole new world.
Anonymous

youre welcome +] so what can you do to make your life seem not as hollow? or will you always be dissatisfied, no matter what?
Anonymous

most of us turn to religion.

what do you want to do with your life? like what do you want to be, who do you want to become?
Anonymous

I want to design and make love to cars for at least 30 years of my life. And if I had the money, I would retire I would buy an enormous peice of land and rescue dozens of homeless pets and take them in. particularly cats. I would dedicate my time rescuing animals from abuse and neglect because if Im a pussy about anything, its animals. I want to be rich, but I know that money ruins most men. I would hope that if I ever did become extremely wealthy, I wouldnt just become some arrogant playboy. Just a humble playboy ;D But I obviously would want a family eventually. All of this sounds fine and all, but after reading it all over, yeah its cool and great, but its so MUNDANE. I hate the idea of existing like everyone else does. the most successful people in the world are happy and content on the shal low surface that we get to see, but at the same time gone in the blink of an eye. I mean, what would happen if I died tomorrow? Yes, my tumblrs would never be updated again and whatever family I have would weep for me as well as any friends that i may have or aquantences that knew me. But, give it a few months and Im essentially forgotten. Yeah people still remember Jeremiah and what I looked like and who I was and etc., but is that it? Is all that passion and drive and thought that comprises every human being just gone? I want to live a happy life. But Im not content with that. I could become the most watched/talked about/popular person on the face of this earth and not be satisfied. The things of this world have made me happy. EXTREMELY happy at times. but the fact that I still and will always want more just shows me the hollowness that this world has to offer in comparison to the enticing promises we hear and see everyday. heres a practical example: everybody loves

followers on tumblr. youre always seeing people clawing away desperate for more. When I first started I naturally wanted the same. and after getting more than a combined amount of 120,000 on 4 of my blogs, I can safely say that its not all its hyped up to be. yes, its cool as FUCK at first . you feel like some sort of Demi god for a solid amount of time every time you open up your computer and look at that number of asks in your inbox. but, give it a couple weeks and Im sitting there in front of a computer screen with a dull expression, bad posture and my hand in my chin just like you. I dont even know what the fuck the point if this was. I just kept typing. sorry for taking up room on your dashboard. blame all typos on my iPods autocorrect. Sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder if Lohan actually has a twin. I think that the twin may have died in some accident and Disney covered it up. Maybe that's why Lindsey is acting out and her parents got a divorce. Maybe they couldn't cope.
Anonymous

I just cut for the first time in three years. I am just really stressed and I saw some self harm posts on tumblr and found myself taking apart a razor. I just needed to tell someone.
Anonymous

Its amazing how many people use my ask box as a therapeutic place to get things off their chest. I read every single ask. I know I cant always help much in terms of responding with a miraculous solution. But, while its sad to read them all, it makes me happy beyond belief knowing that I can somehow provide some relief. So dont ever hesitate. Even though I probably wont respond, I still hear you. Sorry for the sap. you go to Goodwill and find good stuff? thank god, my mom gets really annoyed whenever i mention going there instead of like, macy's. i don't get it sometimes, like if people get arrested for naked in public, then why do we have to pay money to wear clothes? i don't get it. oh, i wanted to say that you're like a big brother to me because i think you're really cool and you stand your ground, but it turns out i'm older than you. not by much, though. i'm 20.
Anonymous

How can I adequately and appropriately describe how I feel about our brotherhood without sounding extremely homosexual? Nahh. No hetero man, I feel you.

This is a gif. Wait for it.

1 MONTH AGO

126 NOTES

Is it a major turn off if a person has self harm scars? I have them all over my legs and I'm worried about how that will come off when I try to have sex, will they think I'm crazy or unstable?
humanencounters

I think that the fact that youre still here and alive shows strength and maturity. Which is a turn -on. At least for someone who is mature themselves. I know this sounds dumb, but... I get awful razor bumps when I shave my pubes. So... Razor bumps or hair? Which is worse?
Anonymous

Just put on neosporin right after shaving. -itsdossy.tumblr.com what do you think the best feeling in the world is, that you've experienced so far?
Anonymous

Being truly appreciated. A really epic dump comes in at a close second. Im just gonna rant now: When your pokemon unexpectedly evolves. Locking your fingers in between your toes.

A full tank of gas. Shifting perfectly. Posting on Northamerifuck and realizing how randomly good it looks. When your phone starts downloading a picture message from *insert crush name here*. The first month after a tattoo. Finding awesome things at Goodwill. Adjusting your balls after theyve been pressed up against your leg for awhile. A girl running her fingers through my hair and pulling really really hard on the roots in fistfulls. I think I just pre-cummed a little bit thinking about it. A really really good back or neck crack. Fingers too. Being in front of a mirror after a workout. Seeing my family (cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents, parents) after a really long time. Going to a familiar place after a really long time of being gone. Inhaling the resin. That warm feeling in your chest after a shot of vodka. (Im not trying to be all hardcore with my drug/alcohol related comments. I just truly enjoy it.) The ability to be alone and truly enjoy it. A cat settling down on your lap. Or face. Cumming. You mentioned Brad Pitt more than vagina... I now fear for your sexuality...
thelatom

Also penis more than vagina. fuck you stole that post about that road in corona. don't act like its yours you found it and didn't give credit
Anonymous

-I put the entire thing in quotation marks. -The author mentions driving on the road over twenty years ago. Im not even 20 years old. -Look at the source. I linked it to the original. I'm bored at work so i scrolled all the way to the bottom of this blog and i'm goofin' off with ctrl+f. how many times the following words are mentioned: sex-220, penis- 28, vagina- 18, dirty- 9, the- 3938, brad pitt- 32, jeremiah- 73, maleminded- 75, and- 2479 anonymous- 1789.
thebradwest

Dear God..

I'm bored in class can you tell me a story? :)

Anonymous

When I was little I would tuck my penis between my legs and pretend I was a girl.

Read

In Corona, California there once was a road known by most locals as the Never Ending Road. Specifically, the roads true name was Lester Road. Now, over twenty years later, the landscape of Corona has changed, and the Never Ending Road is no more. However, years ago, Lester Road was an unlit road that people claimed became a never ending road when driven at night. The people who made such a drive were never seen or heard from again. The legend became so well-known that people refused to even drive Lester Road during the day. One night, like many teens my age, I drove up Lester Road, but only a short distance, and in my headlights it did look like it went on forever. Frightened, I quickly turned around, because if I continued up the road, I thought I might never return again. Perpetuation of the legend convinced local law enforcement to investigate. Lester Road took a sharp left turn at its end, and there were no guard rails. Beyond the curve lay a canyon, and on the other side of the canyon was another road that lined up so well with Lester Road that when viewed from the correct angle, especially at night, the canyon vanished from sight, and the road seemed to continue on up and over the hill on the other side of the canyon. Upon investigation of the canyon, dozens of cars were found, fallen to their doom, with the decomposing bodies of the victims still strapped to their seats.

1 MONTH AGO

386 NOTES

if you don't swallow, what do you do with the jizz?

Anonymous

Swoosh it around in your mouth and then gargle it like Listerine. Orgasm of a song.

1 MONTH AGO
What blogs do you check every day?
Anonymous

35 NOTES

is pornhub a blog? i stumbled across the word vagina, then i remembered that i had to check your blog
Anonymous

so proud

what happened to your twitter? :( i clicked the link you posted a whine back but its not working
Anonymous

https://twitter.com/#!/__Jeremiah

Northamerifuck is brilliant right now.

Anonymous

Dont you know the first two rules?

What do you do with your no-reason boners, man?

Anonymous

Put it in everybodys hostile little face. Naw. Just tuck it under my belt line, then pull my shirt over it. how many people do you follow?
Anonymous

652 yo dude, I really hope you answer this cuz I could use some advice. I was with my ex for 3 years before distance ended the relationship but we still have feelings and pretty much hook up whenever I'm back at home. A month ago I met this chick at a party and we've been casually hanging out and whatever. today, this super cute girl gave me her number and we talked all day. I honestly don't know what the fuck I want. Is there a way to not hurt anyone in this situation In your opinion??
Anonymous

I think you have two options. One is to just be a player and get as much poon as possible while being forced to lie. Or two, make a decision between your ex and a new relationship. I personally wouldnt go for the ex because, if you werent stable enough to last long -distance, the main reason you were staying together in the first place was probably either infatuation, attraction, friendship or just not wanting to give up on your investment in each other. fuck, marry, kill: jessica biel, natalie portman, emma watson.
Anonymous

f: biel m: emma k: natalie :( shes so hot though. Its absurd how long I had to think about this. GIVE ME A GOOD MOVIE TO WATCH. please? I'm sick of studying for finals and all I want to do is watch some good shit.
Anonymous

Secret Window

that post with the highlighted red area was originally my question to you. i smoked by myself that night and it was honestly one of the best nights of my life. thanks jeremiah
Anonymous

When your little sister has a crush on me:

On the outside: Dude, weird. shes like.. 16.

On the inside: Thats right bitch. Your entire family is genetically designed to want these nuts.

1 MONTH AGO

184 NOTES

link to how to eat a girl out?

Anonymous

http://itsjeremiah.tumblr.com/post/13176172077/you-should-really-post-tips-on-how-to-eat-a-girl-up

know any good people to follow on twitter?

Anonymous

Im a pretty good person https://twitter.com/#!/__Jeremiah You're grossed out by gay people? Penises in vaginas aren't so nice to think about either. Jesus.
Anonymous

Im grossed out by the thought of poop on my popsicle. gay people are fabulous. Are you homophobic?
Anonymous

no. but it grosses me out. if you have the right to stick your cock in a mans ass hole I have the right not to want to hear about it. having an opinion is not intolerant. calling people homophobes because they find it disgusting is ignorant. go ahead. have your rights. but dont shove your gay pride down my throat. not saying you called me a homophobe. haha so i sent the link to my boyfriend about how to eat a girl out and he won't talk to me.
Anonymous

hes probably: A) taking notes B) memorizing it C) still reading

Victorias Secret Fashion Show

1 MONTH AGO

167 NOTES

Portals. A or B?

1 MONTH AGO

202 NOTES

I'm going on here instead of writing an essay. Entertain me.

Anonymous

I fucking hate group projects. Its such a major pain working with other idiotic people. This group Im in right now is fucking ridiculous. Alright, so theres this one hot chick in our group. Lets talk about her first. Probably an 8/10, slim and with blond hair. Thats her one and only saving grace. Shes your standard, self absorbed narcissistic suburban bimbo who puts her needs and wants above everyone but herself. Shes dumber than Donald Ducks dick and is subsequently totally useless. The other chick is the polar opposite. Shes a fucking genius, but a total 1/10. Shes got a BO that makes my dick invert back into my body. However, I guess shes not too bad compared to my last group member. Heres the fucking big purple dragon dildo thats really fucking me up for this project. This fucking stoner. Of course, I have nothing against marijuana, and I do partake like everyone else, but shit this guy takes it to the next fucking level. Ive seen him baked before class, after class, and shit, I wouldnt be surprised if he had a handheld vaporizer so he can toke up during class. He probably hasnt been sober in the past 10 ye ars, and hes 21. This guy wears clothes from the 1960s, and I wouldnt be surprised if they havent been fucking washed since then. And to make matters worse? He fucking has to bring his dog to every meeting. Every fucking time. I have to stare at this Great Dane trolling around being stoned from all the second-hand smoke. These two ALWAYS seem to have the munchies! Everytime we pass a Burger King, or McDonalds these two always got to stop. Its like the dog fucking knows, he wont stop howling until wer e in. And we aint talking about your standard 3-wolf-moon howling. His howling sounds like hes talking. Its creepy as shit. Anyways, our group project is to go around in a hippie van and solve mysteries and shit.

I have an odd fetish, I like to stick circular things up my ass, I've got a baseball up there before, what should my next step be?
Anonymous

I find it funny when everybody sends you messages where they say something like "HEY I DON'T REGRET SHIT. LOOK AT MEEEE!!!" and then i see that its on anonymous. If you really didn't regret it, you'd show your face. Just sayin
chicagotransitauthority

@The gal who doesn't feel guilt: I hope you get skinned alive by cannibals. Long distance does suck sometimes, but it doesn't make cheating okay. You're a shit person, and your entire existence is an insult to humanity.
Anonymous

Not gonna lie. I was in a 5 year relationship. I cheated. twice. Once in our 3rd year and the 2nd time was 2 weeks before I broke up with him. I do not condone cheating, but long distance sucks ass. I only broke it off cuz I knew I wasnt inlove with him anymore. I don't need/want you're approval on this matter, cuz I know your thoughts on it. But I just want you to know, I have no regrets about it and I don't feel guilty. "Whateva, whateva, I do what I wawnt" (Cartman voice)
Anonymous

i read your blog everyday during my morning dump.

Anonymous

Thats literally what Im doing right now. tumblr app ftw. What on earth kind of double-standard is that? Equal rights! you cant hit me Im a girl! fuck that." followed by: "its a guys job to protect women." It is not a man's job to protect a woman in an equal -rights world. If you choose to protect someone you love exactly for that reason, then so be it, but that should have nothing to do with gender.
housecreature

Thats like putting urinals in the womens bathrooms. Rights and responsibilities are two different things. The area between a guys' balls and ass is called a gooch.
Anonymous

Goochy Goochy, Louis Louis, Fendi Fendi, Prada do guys like when a girl is giving him head and she puts pressure on the area between his balls and ass? sorry i dont know how else to word that
Anonymous

Yes. dont know how else to word that. okay so i just listened to all your playlists on maleminded, and i kid you not you are my musical soulmate. no joke. some of the songs i don't know, but the majority of them i do know, and LOVED at one point in time. i just haven't listened to them until now. congratuations, you just gave me the greatest form of nostalgia. i will now be listening to panic switch by silversun pickup on repeat for my entire drive to school tomorrow morning. because of you, it will be a fantastic tuesday.
eventuallyitallcomesbacktothis

panic switch is an orgasm of musical genius and nostalgia to me too. Some kid used it in a slideshow at my highschool a long time ago. I remember thinking bitch, thats my song. go lick a crusty ass crack. But yeah. its cool how Ill never see you in my life and yet we love something, the same thing, thats so priceless. even if its just a song. hi jerry. longtime listener first time caller. since you're on the topic of cheating and stuffs, mine is a bit of a different situation. my current girlfriend was cheated on by her ex, but she doesn't know about it. he was a total dick to her other than that though. so i'm wondering whether i should tell her, as it's not really my business and it would just get her upset over him again and she's already over him etc.
Anonymous

haha jerry. I hate that name. but welcome to the show! Id say just leave it be. But I sincerely applaud you for having the maturity to not say anything. as guys, we want to be better than anyone else s hes ever been with. granted, he already is douche status, but pointing out any flaws in others only makes you look better. the fact that youre putting her over your ego is awesome.

Unfollowed because you are pathetic and boring.

Anonymous

I think Ill use my tears for lube while I jack off in the corner. Sure, everyone makes mistakes in relationships, and sometimes shit happens. I can totally understand that. But a relationship won't work unless there is complete trust. If your boyfriend has put his trust in you to be faithful, you're not only lying to him, but you're lying to yourself. It's a cunt move, and extremely selfish to not tell someone. And the fact that they waited all this time? Tell him.
Anonymous

Saying cheating is a mistake is like masturbating with a puppet on your hand and then blaming the puppet for the splooge on the carpet. Fuck you. Unless in self defence you never hit a fucking girl. I don't care if she is freaking out and throwing a temper tantrum and yelling at you, calling you whatever, or how goddamn mad or frustrated you are. People who are in fucking relationships should not be hitting eachother. Someone hits you, you leave their ass.
Anonymous

Unless in self defense ? Thats what I said. sit down. but what if she just like.. over cooked the chicken, or didn't laugh at a jay leno joke?
Anonymous

oh ya lol dumb bitch laugh at my late night tv!!! no. its a guys job to protect women. do you think a girl could ever do something bad enough to give her boyfriend a reason to hit her?
Anonymous

definitely. like self-defence. Equal rights! you cant hit me Im a girl! fuck that. maybe Im biased. Because Ive seen knives pulled on men by their psychotic wives. I remember in sims when all I used to do was make my sim fuck like ten people a day
Anonymous

Ok, about the whole cheating thing...I agree that it's wrong and whatnot but maybe it isn't always best to tell the other person if it was only one time. Are you really doing the right thing by telling them and hurting them, or are you just making yourself feel better by getting it off your chest? I think if you made the decision to do that, you should live with the guilt by yourself.
sky-ry

only one time lol that made me sick. like.. real ones?
Anonymous

does Sims count 3 at a time?

Anonymous

I wasnt aware that there was another option. Okay so I cheated on my boyfriend in March and have felt nothing but guilt ever since. I dont feel like I can tell him because it would ruin everything we have I just need some advice maybe?
Anonymous

you already HAVE ruined everything you have. Now youre just living a lie and making things worse. you can either tell him now and basically get what youve asked for, or just eventually despise yourself out of the guit that will only grow overtime. did you ever have a girlfriend in high school?
Anonymous

3 I overthink everything, and I think even more when I'm trying to impress people. You seem like someone who knows how to stop caring about what other people think. Think you can help me get there?
Anonymous

I think it takes the realization that in the very near future, no one is going to give a fuck anyways. its a simple yet effective perspective. It was easier for me because I went to 8 high schools. so the viewpoint was basically forced upon me. I HAD to dgaf. and in the long run, I ended up having a waaaaay better time. If I donated 450 dollars would you come to Chicago this summer and fuck me senseless?
angelinaromero

2 grand. One time my bf and i were going at it and we had our sex playlist on, but somehow some of my disney songs got mixed in there and circle of life came on, but instead of getting turned off, he seemed to get more turned on and then he shouted SIMMBAAA!!! should i be concerned?
Anonymous

Did he wipe his cum across your forehead in a ritualistic fashion?

"I am a real life house cat. After taking a hit from a bong I swear I can type in human for sixty secmeow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow."
- meow

1 MONTH AGO 1 MONTH AGO

134 NOTES 170 NOTES

One time I was fingering myself, and you came up in my mind, and my pussy shot out a waterfall. What have you done.
Anonymous

One time I was fingering myself, and you came up in my mind, and my pussy dried up. What have you done.
Anonymous

You forgot to mention to that person that you are also studying Derpology. It is a very overlooked yet important field of exploration. It can also branch off to Herpistry.
Anonymous

I feel stupid. I can't find the link to your pictures. I see the my face link but then i get to the congrats, you're a fangirl. help?
Anonymous

I was so devastated when I saw the link to your face because then you'd become like the douches you hate. Then I clicked. Well done, my friend, well done.
Anonymous

Post a picture of yourself? :)

komodo-mado

theres a link on my sidebar that says my face if i ever saw you i would jump you, you little homo.
Anonymous

no hetero

Are you guys enjoying the fun facts on the sidebar?

because I am

1 MONTH AGO
Alright we all know you would have Brad Pitt if you could, buttttt... Angie or Jen?
Anonymous

130 NOTES

angie. haha what's your major?

Anonymous

Industrial design. And possibly automotive/transportation design. list one of your biggest insecurties?

Anonymous

my penis. you said.. biggest, right?

I don't know if this question is too personal, ignore it if it is but... As a genuinely curious Canadian who benefits from public health care, how do you pay for all of you medical expenses given that your heart probably require some expensive treatment (random, i know, but whatever)? I'm also a college student and I have a hard time paying my tuition here which is like 4x less than yours. I can't imagine how you are able to work that many hours with school.
Anonymous

I've been into this girl for a whole year, and today, I finally got dumped.. I'm feeling so empty right now. Any gif or word for me?
Anonymous

You will bounce back. It will seem quicker and easier if you do it out of resentment, but thats just a false cover-up. And be careful of choosing another girl too quickly simply because she satisfies some of the qualities that you miss about your ex. Never settle. ps. go to the gym. workout a lot. not to impress her or anyone else. but yourself. self-fulfilling confidence will help retain your depression. Full screen and 720p this shit.

1 MONTH AGO

85 NOTES

Two wrongs dont make a right.

But two Wrights make a plane.

1 MONTH AGO

196 NOTES

I am the girl who asked you tips on how to eat a girl. My boyfriend was on male minded and saw it. LE EVIL PLAN WORKED. I'm looking forward to the next time he gives me head.

Anonymous

haha high five! you're creative. what would you write a 10 page persuasive paper on?
Anonymous

I would argue that embarrassment is the quickest way to success. And that embarrassment is only possible if you care about what people think. Therefore, peoples opinions = the driving factor to success. I'm the girl that sent you the ask about coming clean about cheating. Thank you. thats exactly what i needed to hear. trust me, her name is enough, this is something that i've ethically struggled with from day one and that should have been my red flag because this is completely unlike anything i would ever do and i can't believe i let it even happen. it is most definitely something i will never do again. so to anyone thinking about doing this you'll only feel like shit in the end no matter what.
Anonymous

well i know that you really hate people that cheat and i need someone to morally straighten me out. I've been hooking up with a guy that has a girl friend, it started because he came on to me and i let it happen. it's been a year and today i'm telling him that i'm done before it sucks more of the life out of me. personally all it did was give me false love for someone who's a liar and make me feel like crap about myself. so bring it on, give me your worst, give me a reason to tell him i'm done
Anonymous

because *insert his girlfriends name here*. If you need more reason than that, youre a bitch. I applaud you for coming clean. But you should tell her. Shes going to hate your fucking guts. and so will he. But his is a friendship not worth having anyways and, in the long run, youre doing her a favor by being honest. And.. Id say you owe her a favor or two.

If you feel like shit,

everyone you hate wins.

1 MONTH AGO
Just took an amazing dump. I feel like a feather now. any gifs?
Anonymous

130 NOTES

please for the love of god get off your high horse. you are on tumblr. just because you have alot of followers doesnt make your opinion any more credible than anyone elses.
Anonymous

This is my second time asking so you'd better answer you little queerbag. Yesterday, my bf fingered me for the first time and it felt really good Ather time but now my Gavin's hurts like a bitch and it stings to pee. Is that normal? Did he do it wrong?
Anonymous

No thats completely normal. The pain should progress as time goes on and you will eventually become infertile. Congratulations. Youve developed your own birth control. queerbag. Lol, battle of the virgins vs. non-virgins. The promise of bloodshed. Tune in.
Anonymous

sorry. I had to post this

Does game of thrones ever get good?

or should I just not waste my time anymore

1 MONTH AGO

69 NOTES

bitchez just be trippin because they're being forced to face the reality that nobody wants to have sex with them. those of us who are virgins and not offended are comfortable with our level of attractiveness.
Anonymous

An intelligent follower

if you arent, like this.

1 MONTH AGO
I think many people following you are virgins. If you are like this.
Anonymous

464 NOTES

Haha wow. Coming from a non virgin, you are being a massive douche tonight.... jeeezus. Chill out yourself, syphilus and peanut butter infested anus. Yes, that is what I called you.
Anonymous

Its kinda funny how offended people are by that post its probably some of the same ugly girls you're talking about.
Anonymous

what post is everyone referring to? Whoa, these bitches need to chill.
Anonymous

I've never found you offensive until that last post about virginity. Crossed the line there a little bit. I don't care if you did use 'probably' or 'most'...
Anonymous

this guy crossed the line in his go-cart.

jeremiah you're pissing me off. THERE. I said it. Just for your fucking information there are girls who are attractive and have some bloody morals. I decided to wait because it will literally be a blood covenant with my future husband. I have had terrifying cases of having to scream for help to preserve my v. its not fucking okay to make blanket statements like that. especially when you're also claiming to respect it. its kind of a big deal to some of us even if its not to you.
Anonymous

I said most girls and probably.

Waiting is hard because we're surrounded by too much sex! I'm trying my best to wait. That anon is right, it's hard. But what, in life isn't hard?

letsmakeitaboutme

my penis in the winter It means just as much to a girl that a guy is a virgin as it does the other way around. Girls just have to pretend it doesn't make a different he's already stuck his dick some other place because guys like to stereotype women.
Anonymous

i'm gonna be honest here, i have decided to wait until marriage, but i've never even had a chance to do otherwise and it feels like shit. you're right.
Anonymous

im not expecting my wife to be a virgin but idk i dont like thinking that theres gonna be someone i love and that they've been fucked my someone else before. and i feel like it means more to a guy if the girl is the virgin, compared to the other way around. know what i mean?
Anonymous

to be honest, most of the girls that pride themselves on saving it until marriage are probably just unattractive. and yet they brag about their morals while judging every girl that does have sex. double standards for the win. there. I said it.

1 MONTH AGO

172 NOTES

If virginity means so much to you, why didn't you keep yours for your first wife? It seems hypocritical to want someone to do something for you that you wouldn't do for her.
Anonymous

It was a mistake and I regret it obviously. But Ill never love my wife any less because of th e state of her v card. thats just petty Wouldn't it be weird because the girl wouldn't really know what she was doing?
Anonymous

Inexperience is a turn on why would you be jealous of the husband of girls who are virgins till they get married?
Anonymous

Because theyre the first and only ones to have them? who wouldnt be jealous of that What is your opinion on girls that want to wait until marriage to have sex?
Anonymous

Im jealous of who they marry.. usually. haha. but I think thats the way it should be. I heard a quote The problem with an American wife is that youre never the first to fuck her. ..Id wait a lifetime for someone I loved.

They're coming out with a Napolean Dynamite tv series!

Anonymous

*reaches in pants* *hand gets wet* I really need your help. My boyfriend doesn't ever engage in foreplay. Like he doesn't know how or something. I always talk to him about it but his idea of foreplay is me giving him head and that I should already be turned on from that, wtf! I know he doesn't have much experience but that's just lazy! I really love him but I'm not getting anything from the sex anymore. Do you have any advice for me? Or tips for him? Because I don't want to have to end the relationship over this.
Anonymous

Holy shit end your entire relationship over this? well, in the hopes of saving you two, just show him the super long explanation I did on giving head. if it gets bad enough, youre gonna have to say THATS how its done. do THAT to me. and if that causes problems, hes an egotistical sonofabitch. try it out.

how long ago did you start your tumblrs?

Anonymous

5 months? I'ma girl and I just wanna know, why do guys insist on keeping the sticker on the bill of their hats? A guy wearing a hat is just 10 times hotter, but I think the sticker looks a little stupid.
Anonymous

I automatically classify guys that wear fitted hats as douchebags.

People that fill up their water bottle on the big drinking fountain.

1 MONTH AGO

52 NOTES

playlist
1 MONTH AGO 20 NOTES

may i take your hat, sir? may i take your hat, sir?
Anonymous

On maleminded, #155 should be grey.

daisyguns

so how do you feel about that osu game? go blue <3

Anonymous

I had a theory like his. You're a sex-obsessed, overweight 16 year old. You made saucy's account. This is basically like Runescape for you so you can get away from real life for a couple of hours, and people think you're a sexy bitch. And it helps to distract you from the urge to eat.
Anonymous

Run away! the lies are catching up to me!

Cute blog heading, Jeremiah.

Anonymous

I am 12 and what is this

Anonymous

So I have this theory that you are a virgin and have never have had a girlfriend and you are pulling all of our legs like a boss.
Anonymous

Im 12 and I just fake every anon I ever answer. Sometimes I even make separate accounts so that it looks like Im legitimate. Basically what I do is I go to yahoo answers, copy/paste some random question about sex and relationships and then proceed to find the top rated answer then just copy/paste that shit in there for the answer. This is my formal apology to real people who ask me legitimate questions. :/ Im sorry. disappointed in osu today?
Anonymous

not really given the shit that the team has been going through lately. oh wait. they lost to michigan? yes. very disappointed. Ew. You're a coug? Sorry, but you're about to get your asses kicked. Yeee dawgs
Anonymous

I personaly know some of the guys that play for uw. but fuck the huskies anyways. pullman has half the funding. Treasure trail? I've always called it a happy trail.
Anonymous

Yeah Ive heard that too I think you went through all your followers and found the hottest one (saucy) and you were all like, "I want YOU." and then her panties proceeded to drop.
Anonymous

I actually ended up clicking on her icon out of total randomness while I was going through the maleminded dashboard. but yeah hahaha good theory.

GO COUGS
1 MONTH AGO
what's a treasure trail?
Anonymous

8 NOTES

Is google blocked on your computer? its a line of hair going from your belly button leading down to your ball fro. How did male minded get so popular?:)
Anonymous

I used to post pictures of my treasure trail. "I once saw the two hottest females in my highschool scissoring on a pool table at a party" ...Wtf does that mean?
gotred

A Lesbian sex act where two partners interlock their spread legs (like two pairs of scissors) and grind their vulvae together to stimulate each others clitoris to orgasm. Also called tribadism, the practice has many colloquialisms. In some Central American countries it is called making tortillas, and the Chinese refer to the act as polishing mirrors ugh. Need somewhere to vent. And hopefully you'll respond with a smart ass gif or reply that makes others and myself laugh even if I'm a little hurt. Anyway. My boyfriend told me that if I didn't shave down there he would leave me. I told him I was keeping away from the razor because I was trying to stop cutting myself.

Not an excuse. He started yelling at me which was not called for. FML I barely even have any hair down there. ANYWAY. Just wanted to vent. Delete this if you wish x
Anonymous

Next time that he says that, this is your plan of action:

and then you leave his ass.

How the fuck did you become so Tumblr Famous?

Anonymous

I made this thing: http://maleminded.tumblr.com/ saucy is only dating you because you get her more followers.
Anonymous

I am aware.

hey, i have just found Tumblr, could you tell me some good blogs to check out? thanks.
Anonymous

http://mariiis.tumblr.com/ http://b00w.tumblr.com/ http://dig1tal.tumblr.com/ http://iwannalickmycomputerscreen.tumblr.com/ http://paczki.tumblr.com/ http://dvdp.tumblr.com/ http://northamerifuck.tumblr.com/ http://mozd.tumblr.com/ http://rap4sale.tumblr.com/ has anyone told you you look like a skinnier version of steven r. mcqueen?
Anonymous

I weight 40lbs more than he does IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII AM A MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN OF CONSTANT SORROWWWWWWWWWWWW

Anonymous

IIVE SEEN TROOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBLE ALL MAH DAIYYYS. I backed my car into a cop car the other day. Well, he just drove off, sometimes life's okay
the-pianoman

How would you deal with your significant other having a super hot ex? my boyfriend and I were talking about our last ex and I looked her up (because I'm a Dumb fuck.) and... If I stood next to this chick, I'd look like a homeless person.

Anonymous

your personality > hers. congrats! Thats what lasts. do you like dags?
rap4sale

followed

756 UFG, just called the police and reported the car stolen :D
Anonymous

I sold that car 6 months ago. nice.

Im about to post a bunch of pictures from my old ipod.

1 MONTH AGO

7 NOTES

whoever told you that joke is the biggest faggot. Tyler the Creator told that joke in some youtube video. its not even funny.
Anonymous

I hate that guy because Im jealous of his fame for doing practically nothing. there. I said it. Wanna hear a joke? Okay, so there was this big ass moose that walked into a store. Big ass moose walks up the the lady bitch and was like "Hey, where can i find me some potatoes?" The lady bitch was like, "Row five" so this big ass moose in the store walks down row five and guess what? THERE WERE NO POTATOES.
Anonymous

"Im not like most girls"

- most girls

(via centaurel)

1 MONTH AGO

939 NOTES

im a girl, and i used to play age of empires almost every day but then i got a mac... and the new ones just aren't the same.. :(
Anonymous

you and I.. we have a bond. I've been with my girlfriend for about two and a half years and we're both twenty. Being in school, we both still live with our parents. Lately though, she's been asking me to sleep over her house all the time, like with her mom and siblings home. I feel really awkward and anxious about that. I don't need to be judged by her family. But she thinks I'm such a tool now. Any advice?
Anonymous

Why would she think youre a tool if you didnt want to go over to her house? I think thats a reasonable request. If youre sleeping in the same room, thats awkward, if youre not, whats the point? Just hang out, then go home. I feel like I wouldnt wanna sleep over at my girlfriends house with her siblings and parents there unless I was really tight with them. Even then, its kindve weird when youre 20. Get a cheap hotel? Support yourself and rent an apartment? Wait until theyre not home? Thats what I would do. That was a pretty shitty answer. But I dont know what else to say. I think youre in the righ t.

you guys seriously fucked as soon as you met? and tsktsk for driving drunk, jeremiah
Anonymous

we held hands you ignorant prick.

Describe the first time you saw saucy in person. What went through your mind.
Anonymous

I was very drunk. It was bad. I was manning the keg at this party (i sound like a tool) where this girl didnt know how to work the tap and ended up spraying me head to toe in beer. I was pissed because I remember smelling really good beforehand in preparation of meeting her. We were on the phone with each other as she was trying to find the place. We could barely hear each other and once she said that she was close I was shoving people out of the way bursting through the front door staggering all the way there. I was standing in the middle of the street as I saw her Kia Serento round a corner (she told me what kind of car she drove and I can easily name any car on the road, so spotting hers was easy). I hung up the phone and just stood there drunk, in shock (she had just driven 8 hours) and nervous wondering what I looked like (Yes. guys do this too). She pulled up and saw me (there is no climactic ending to this story, Im just babbling) then gave me this look like Im mad it took so long to find you but Im ready to have your children.. you know. a mad-smile. where youre frustrated but you just loose your cool in the excitement. I ran around the front of her car and opened her door and smiled bigger than I think I ever have and just exasperated Hi. I was smiling so much it hurt. She immediately started saying something about directions or how lost she was all the while smiling her ass off too. She could barely get 3 words out of her mouth before I smothered her in the biggest hug you can physically give someone while theyre sitting in a car. She got out and hugged me like I was her soldier coming home from war. I got such a boner. Its astonishing how good she looks in person. But we still had to park her car because people were honking like mad behind us. So I got in and COULD NOT take my eyes off of her. That smile that I had never went away that whole night. We ended up lost as fuck because I payed literally no attention to the road forcing her to figure shit out for herself. She ended up getting super frustrated but still happy because she was sitting in the same car as maleminded (Im such a celebrity. omg. <3). but, not being able to find the party again, we ended up ju st going to a hotel where we the following has been censored due to the fact that there are apparently 13year-olds on this blog.

"'I can do it" Ted Bundy said as he helped himself to another ear from the steaming pot. Soon, the death of his wife would be a mystery even to him.
ipromiseyoullmissthis

I just came.

How do you feel about girls making out?

Anonymous

I once saw the two hottest females in my highschool scissoring on a pool table at a party. It turned me on. to say the least. Top five movies.
Anonymous

Tree of Life Secret Window Fight Club O Brother Where Art Thou Memento my best friend and i went out for a little while but we had a pretty rough breakup and didn't talk for two months. we've gotten back on friendly terms now and i think i might have feelings for her because hearing

about her hookup with other guys makes me feel like shit, but i've realized that she's really not the person i used to be best friends with. any advice?
Anonymous

Id say just keep in mind that you cant change a person. youre gonna have to just take her where she is and just develop from there. But I know that feel, bro. its worse than most. especially when you dont have the right to feel that way. i just saw saucy for the first time, well done.
Anonymous

thanks man

like if youre 18+

1 MONTH AGO 576 NOTES

like if youre younger than 18

1 MONTH AGO 287 NOTES

Alright I love your blog and everything, but sex still grosses me out. I'm a 13 year old girl and I think the stuff you post and say is funny, but I still find it gross. Is that weird?
Anonymous

get OFF of my blog.

Turn your keyboard into a drum kit.

1 MONTH AGO 84 NOTES

Like if you ever played Age of Empires.

1 MONTH AGO
I don't like you at all. I only follow you out of morbid curiosity.
Anonymous

110 NOTES

I knew there had to be a few http://northamerifuck.tumblr.com/

1 MONTH AGO

10 NOTES

You're exactly the same person as me, not even kidding. I'm just over 6'3", i weigh around 190 or so, i weight lift often, i'm obsessed with football, and i also have a tattoo on my right bicep. Insane.
Anonymous

Y U ON ANON. we could become secret gay lovers. i don't believe in god, i don't like football, i'm a really short girl, but i still think you're really cool and funny.
Anonymous

I still think youre cooler than the 23413 girls saying omfg im 510 and play volleyball toooo <333 in my ask box. congrats to answer that riddle.... headphones?
Anonymous

yes, yes, yes I know. Ive gotten a few thousand asks about it haha The worst part about ldr is when you are uncontrollably horny for a week and you just want to fly 8 hours to him so that you could fuck him. But you can't. Fucking bull shit.
Anonymous

Is it bad that I pretend I'm a bad driver when I'm around my friends just so they don't make me drive on the weekends and I can get fucked up?
Anonymous

thats like the best idea Ive ever heard.

is saucy the only girl your seeing, or since your not in a real relationship are you seeing other girls too?

Anonymous

I see girls at the grocery store sometimes Almost every day I wrap this black snake around my neck and yet it never bites me, for it has no teeth within it's two mouths which spit forth truth and lies side by side in perfect sequence. What is the genus and species of this snake?
alewis3030

I just spent 10 minutes googling the shit out of this on my ipod and came up with nothing link to alanah's tumblr?
Anonymous

lol she doesnt have one. thats why we broke up. You wanna know something? When I was a kid, somebody told me that you couldn't eat plain pasta because it'd make you sick, and I believed them my whole life until just last month. I'm eighteen. Now I picture that motherfucker downing bowlfuls of plain pasta and giggling, because they effectively ruined what would have become my favourite food of all time. Moral of the story? You tell me.
Anonymous

In third grade on my baseball team, a kid told me I was gay if I ever looked another guy in the eyeballs. he said I was supposed to look at their eyebrows. I spent a month looking at eyebrows. Heh, apparently you tend to have a thing for girls whose names start with "A"
Anonymous

and girls who play volleyball. and are 510. even weirder: her ex was 63. Im 63. He played football. I played football. i love you but every time you talk about being high or smoking weed it really makes me want to slap you across the fucking face.
Anonymous

I disdain people who talk about weed 24/7, reblog pictures of french inhales, faggots like wiz kalifa, and just the general ignorant culture that it entails. but just because I enjoy being high, dont put me in that pool of mindless fucks. unless you want to slap me for some other reason. haha My buddy told me it was weird that I'd go til it bruised (I have like a perma bruise on the right side of my dick, I need to lighten up a bit) but it's hard not to. The urge comes, then the porn comes, then I do. It's hard to stop. I'm finding the desire is getting stronger as I'm getting older, even though i'm turning 23. I wonder if anyone else gets that.
Anonymous

Perhaps you should get a woman. But otherwise, I feel ya DUDE. That totally happens to me, too. It's fucking rough.

Anonymous

Am I the only guy that's had those day's where you jack off until your dick is sore and you're shooting blanks? I cannot be alone on this one.
Anonymous

We are the same. It gets to that point where you have to compare the pain of your bruised cock to the pleasure of your dick thats sucking the non-existent semen out of your balls. The next day, its raw. Dude i'm high. Now what?
Anonymous

tell us a really funny joke

Anonymous

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife wasreally pissed. She told him Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in thedriveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!! The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife wokeup, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a boxgift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, broughtthe box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday. To the anon who doesn't want to go to university because he thinks he's "opening to the doors to a boring, meaningless life", if that's really what you think it's all about you're already fucked. You have the choice to study what you want and do what you want for a living. Don't settle for some shit job that pays well or else you're just perpetuating the "system" you think you live in.
corykaplan-deactivated20111223

I feel the same way. I don't wanna go to university because I feel as if I'll be wasting my time and money just opening up the doors to a boring, meaningless life. I want to find a way to rid this emptiness within; I feel as

if none of this really matters and it's all worthless. It's fucking... indescribable. I just want to reach a point in my life where I can be happy and have at least some satisfaction that I've done it the way I wanted too, as if there were no problems at all...
Anonymous

[Flash 10 is required to watch video] phylaxis: shoulderblades: nzafro: My grandfather died and left my family this video will. R.I.P papi. (via intrntslut)

1 MONTH AGO

88,136 NOTES

You're such a fucking liar.

Anonymous

Private investigator 1 is sent to follow a man. This man is also a private investigator. private investigator 2 is sent to follow private investigator 1. Neither of them knows that one is following the other. What happens?
unicorns-barf-rainbows

I like your url.

FMK: Your mom, your dad, you best friend.

Anonymous

fuck my best friend marry my mom (I proposed to her once when I was 5) kill my dad? I guess? smother him with hugs. hello there. just for all of your new followers who are utterly confused, who are saucy and massey?
Anonymous

massey is gay: http://masseyp.tumblr.com/ saucy is taken: http://saucydossy.tumblr.com/ HEY, DIPSHIT. This is of great importance, and you better fucking answer. Fuck one, marry one, kill one: saucydossy, brad pitt, massey. GO!
Anonymous

kill brad pitt (cmon, killing tyler durden? Id become tyler durden) fuck saucy (that ass? unf) marry massey (me makes me giggle)

I once told my brother I didn't care about living anymore, and I truly wanted to be dead. I saw tears well up in his eyes, and he asked me calmly if I wanted to destroy his life.. No matter how bad it gets, I will never do that to my family. I'm not selfish enough. Don't quit living, after you do it, there will be nothing. You don't get to see who went to your funeral.. just nothing.
Anonymous

hahahaha these people who are freaking out about you saying you have 8 followers are hilarious. We all know your joking. You couldn't have this many asks unless you had AT LEAST 9 followers, duh. Happy Thanksgiving :)
kendramaa

AT LEAST. :) when you said:"new playlist! (the green one)" I hoped that this "green one" meant a playlist to listen when you are hight. but maybe a next playlist idea for you.

helllishigh

Im on it For one day you should post every ask you get, not the ones that want to be private of course, but the normal anon ones. Even if you don't answer them, we'd still get to see a day in the life of Jeremiah's ask box..
Anonymous

40% - How do I give a guy a handjob? 35% - How do I give a guy a blowjob? 20% - <333 Balsaccckkkk have my babiesss omgomg 5% - Deep, thoughtful, meaningful/funny/legitimate questions. Most people are stupid, or are content with ignorant lives. Most everyone I meet is conditioned to be happu if they have nice clothes, shoes, starbucks, an iphone, a nice profile picture on facebook with some comments on it and a few friends they can play niceties with.
Anonymous

Well of course he isn't a Christian. Look at his icon, he's a freaking cat.
Anonymous

To that anon about pre marital sex: Dude. John 3:16 - Believe and you have eternal life. Don't be a judgmental douche.
hopestillflies

You aren't a christian. I'm calling you out on this one.

Anonymous

I am Christian. Everyday Christians break the rules in the book. part of Christianity is still being able to call yourself Christian when you do muck up. Even though many people in churches (not always all) are terribly judgemental themselves.
Anonymous

The church was meant to be a hospital for the hurting and the lost, not for the self-righteous and welldressed. fuck what it has become.

woah! is that your icon?

1 MONTH AGO
How is it that you say youre Christian but have no qualms about having pre -marital sex?
Anonymous

117 NOTES

same reason people in churches are the most judgmental people Ive met. its weird though, how can I say that theyre judgmental without being judgmental myself?

" Loneliness is the human condition. Cultivate it. The way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow. Never expect to outgrow loneliness. Never hope to find people who will understand you, someone to fill that space. And intelligent, sensitive person is the exception, the very great exception. If you expect to find people who will understand you, you will grow murderous with disappointment. The best youll ever do is to understand yourself, know what it is that you want, and not let the cattle stand in your way."
1 MONTH AGO 282 NOTES

we basically have to go through high school stressed almost every night, then college where stress gets even worse, no sleep, etc.. then we become a slave and just work and work and work.. we have to work more than actually LIVE our life. im pretty pissed off at how this all works out. its sad because really, the easiest "lifestyle" i guess, is as a kid in elementary school- but were too young to realize it at that age. and then when we're retiered. but we're too old to do most stuff at that age
Anonymous

how can you be lonely when you have saucy and massey and your other friends or people you care about who care about you?
redheadellie

anyone who isnt lonely in their own mind is lying or stupid. Are you a Christian?
Anonymous

yes

i've fallen back into bad habits of my past addictions. i'm not sure how i feel about it. at this point i don't really care what happens to me. a small part of me is like you're a dumb ass and the majority of myself is like 'fuck it'. i just want to be numb. being 24, i purchased my first home, pay all my bills, work hard, from the outside i look like i live a perfect life but i feel completely empty. just any advice would be helpful. thanks.
Anonymous

I dont have advice for you because what youre going through is what I fear probably the most at this point in my life. Youre five years older than I am and yet it seems like all Im striving for right now with all this college bullshit and late nights studying and stress and wasted youth is aimed towards just what you have: paying bills, making it in life, owning a house, working. I dont want it to be that way. I want to dedicate the most energetic and passionate and creative years of my life to something worthwhile and enjoyable rather than wasting them and becoming a slave of the system fading into the distance 100 years from now. my only hope is in my faith and that the deeds fulfilled here will be rewarded for eternity. but Im so lost. and lonely. I am terrified of the future and uncertainty. Once again, we are together alone.

Hahah I played the first song and Allison Harvard (the gif) is on the side bobbing her head along to ze beat.
letsmakeitaboutme

Thats all Ive been staring at too!

new playlist! (the green one)

http://itsjeremiah.tumblr.com/

1 MONTH AGO

8 NOTES

I feel like you never give actual advice anymore, outside of sexual things. All you post are dumb things people say, i miss when you posted things with substance.

Anonymous

people dont ask those kind of questions anymore. :/ bullshit. you HAVE to have more that 8 followers. should i make more accounts for you?
Anonymous

I have 10,980

I'm gonna buy that car, give it to saucy, and tell her she has to show up at your house in it, fully naked... merry christmas
Anonymous

That car screams douchebag

Anonymous

I would gladly go gay for that car. so douchebag is do-able for me. I will marry you if this car turns you on.

1 MONTH AGO

53 NOTES

Dude, itsjeremiah can't possibly have 5 followers. I created 6 accounts and followed you with each one
Anonymous

it has 8 now. what would you consider your favorite genre of music to be?
Anonymous

indie/alternative do you have a twitter?

Anonymous

https://twitter.com/#!/kittensandmeth What's your workout routine?

Anonymous

Recently ive had virtually no structure when it comes to working out just because my schedule has been so hectic. But if Im gonna focus on one thing, its that I always have to make sure I go biggest muscle group to the smallest. that way it allows you to use the most energy for the things that need it most. so basically: quads, hamstrings, back, chest, shoulders, core, calves, triceps, biceps How tall are ya?
Anonymous

63 If you were a cannibal, what would be your favorite body part to eat and how would you cook it?
Anonymous

Id cut the leg off at the bottom of the buttock, then chop away the bony mass of the kn ee, at places two to three inches away in either direction. Before doing this, , i wanna remove the whole calf muscle from the back of the lower leg. The upper leg is now ready for anything, most especially some beautiful, thick round steaks. The ass would be carved from the pelvis in a rather triangular piece. The legs attach at the hip at a forward point on the body, so there will be little interference as you carve along the curve of the pelvis. Remaining meat will be on the thighs in front of the pelvis . And Id just basically marinate it in chicken broth, oil, and vinegar for about 8 hours. Then grille and serve. yum :) the llama gif is my favorite gif
Anonymous

Hey Jeremiah, you're a great person and you inspire me to keep on going everyday. How often do you work out?
Anonymous

super! I try and go at least three times a week. most people dont rest their muscles enough. So I try and eat and sleep as much as possible I feel like a lot of the time you just answer questions in a way you think will get you notes.
Anonymous

basically. notes = life

How much do you weigh?

Anonymous

180 you two are like the brangelina of tumblr <3<3 ;D

Anonymous

except if I looked like brad pitt, I would just masturbate in front of a mirror I want your penis inside of my vagina.
Anonymous

I want to roll you up into a little ball and shove you up my vagina. HOLD UP. WAIT A MINUTE. PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN IT!
Anonymous

*screams* DIUNUNIMUN. DUNDINUNINUNINUT. MY FRIEND'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND AND HE HATES THAT BITCH. HE TELLS ME EVERYY DAY. HE SAYS, MAN I REALLY GOTTA LOSE THAT CHICK. IN THE WORST, KINDAAA WAY.
Anonymous

SHE SITS ON HER ASS. HE WORKS HIS HANDS TO THE BONE. TO GIVE HER MONEY EVERY PAYDAY. I can 10 rep 260 ;) Of course, i AM an all state linebacker xD
Anonymous

thats boss. how much do you weigh? when I weighed 210 I could punch out close to 300! how much can you bench?
Anonymous

I can 10rep 205! so proud of myself. :) are you serious? only 5? I thought this would have like 23678942364 followers.
Anonymous

I gained two while I was gone! whoopwhoop you're my only friend.

Anonymous

I can count my friends on one hand. youre my ring finger;) YESS ONE OF THE FIVE :) hahaha
lospiratasdeamor

ehhhh did you know theres a tumblr called "muzd" ... another wanna be?
Anonymous

I helped make that one a long time ago 5 ... like 5.0 or 50000 or like wut :P
Anonymous

just five. Which has more followers? Male Minded or Itsjeremiah?

sunshineissmilingforyou

maleminded has 90,000 yo my personal has like 5

I study swallowing disorders in school. I teach people how to swallow.

Anonymous

Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?

Anonymous

Wait a minute YOURE not Santa. You DISGUST me. You sit on a throne of lies..! Also, southamerifuck??? Lolololololololololololololololololololololol!!!!!!!! Who is this person? I'd have his babies. That legit made me chuckle tonight. Praise to that motherfucker.
Anonymous

I laughed. SO hard. my followers are fucking awesome. 5 day weekend all because of a holiday made for stuffing our fat faces.. God bless america.
endlesswag

dude, you're sick. wtf is wrong with you and the shit you post on northamerifuck?
Anonymous

I think were all fucked up in our own minds. I look at that blog and treat it like a work of art. To me, its beautiful.

dude have you seen southamerifuck? haha what a bitch

youngbloodbeneaththestars

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH that is AMAZING northamerifuck scares me.

Anonymous

Its my favorite blog ever.

click here if you're over 18

1 MONTH AGO 5 NOTES

"Your girl followers probably took saucy's tips and are now giving better head to their men. " can i see the link to this post? think i missed it...
Anonymous

the ask is quoted from someone very near and dear to me;D http://itsjeremiah.tumblr.com/post/12096721257/detailed-tips-on-how-to-give-good-head-pls

my guy has done oral on me a few times before, but he hardly takes his time when he does it. like, not even ten minutes. )-: i really want to show him your post on eating out a girl, but i'm worried he might get offended because it would mean he hasn't been doing a good job. help?
Anonymous

um try opening up the post on your computer and then the next hes over at your house, be cooking/baking something in the kitchen for him and ask him to look up something necessary to the recipe youre using allowing him to be in a separate room when he sees it giving him time to read. and if he gets mad or upset about it (which is unlikely), hell storm into the kitchen only to see you making him food. thus relieving any anger he mightve had. haha okay so by that it sounds like saucy or an ex has squirted before. now, thing is the last few times ive been with my guy I've come so close to it but i just stop because i genuinely worry that im gonna pee on him instead. helpppp!
Anonymous

you are NOT going to pee. every girl will feel that and you just need to trust me that whatever pressure youre feeling down there is not what you think it is. if you feel like you have to pee, it just means that youre reallly really close. :D just hold out One of the most beautiful things I've ever read, haha. My girlfriend and I are long distance, so whenever we do get the chance to see each other, I'm always too eager. I've gotta start teaching myself to take a lot more time with the build-up and the anticipation. Otherwise, based on what you wrote, sounds like I've been doing it right! Fuck yeah! Thanks, man.
Anonymous

aw yeah!

You should really post tips on how to eat a girl up. Your girl followers probably took saucy's tips and are now giving better head to their men. Help them retribute the love :)
Anonymous

I like to tease. I get so turned on looking at her face as she grabs and squeezes my hair begging me for more. its honestly a selfish thing for me to do believe it or not. the fact that i can make you want me more than anything in the world is a giant ego boost. I fucking love it.Heres the basics. eating a girl out does not just involve your mouth. in order to properly eat her out, you will need to use the following: your tongue, lips, hands, breath, ice cube/cold water (optional), arms. the list could go on. the point is, if youre using your mouth alone, youre doing something wrong. Ill try my best not to make this like a sext. And most of this is going to be focused on foreplay. once Ive moved away from her lips (the ones on her face) and neck, I slowwwly work my way down her shoulders, boobs, and torso kissing every last inch of her skin as possible. Ill keep my hips and junk slowly grinding up against her pussy as my hands grip and caress her neck and arms and hips.. holy shit.. for the love of God, squeeze and grab her hips like theres no tomorrow. but every part of my body is working and contributing to getting her as wet as fucking possible before my mouth even gets close to her downstairs. anticipation is key. during this foreplay process, I like to pin her arms above her head or behind her back so that she feels completely out of control and dominated by me. My hands are really strong and.. large enough to fit both of her wrists in one hand which is awesome because it gives me a whole free hand to work with;). With this free hand Ill lick my fingers as Im staring her straight in the eyes.

while Im kissing her nipples or neck or collarbones, my fingers will slowly find their way down under her belt line working around everywhere BUT her vagina. you have to wait aslonggggaspossible before any part of

you makes skin to skin contact with the holy grail. eventually ill let go of her hands and move them to her boobs, hips and torso instead with my fingers sinking into her beautiful skin all the while kissing her in every. spot. possible. my lips and tongue NEVER stop working. on a side note, theres a thing you can do with her nipples where you suck and lick them (add an ice cube or cold water for an added effect) and then lightly blow on them. goosebumps (the good kind) usually follow. but anyways, once my head gets near or in between her legs, Ill wrap my arms alllll around her legs gripping and squeezing her hips and ass and boobs while my mouth and tongue are just constantly licking and caressing her hips and stomach slowly easing my way closer and closer to the goal. hehe. my favorite thing to do is to pull her pants down ever so slightly so that theyre not coming off, but enough for me to see her panties. Then y ou gotta be a man and just take off her pants. Once theyre off I just continue with the same process as I get my tongue and lips all under and around her panties and I let her feel my hot breath against her pussy. Dont make contact with it, just breath on it. coming so close that shes practically thrusting her hips and clit to your mouth with eagerness. then I go back up her torso kissing her nipples, squeezing her boobs, and attacking her neck and mouth with yours until she grabs onto your shoulders and pushes you back down because of how bad she wants it. take them off.

press your lips and tongue against the side of her pussy lips, not in between, but on the sides. like right between it and her legs. youre essentially making out with the lips/sides of her vagina. oh and on another side note, if she has long labia, use them. like this:

finally, now that shes (hopefully) all wet and ready, take one strong, sudden lick riiiight between her lips. either from the top or the bottom. (I usually go from the bottom):

FIND THE CLIT. holy shit if you dont know where it is, google images is your friend. Im appalled as to how many girls write in my ask box complaining that their boyfriends cant find it. Its pretty pathetic. so if its your first time, do your research. heres some visual aid:

get your fingers wet by rubbing her slit NOT entering it yet. When it comes to actually tonging her clit, flick and suck because thats. what feels good for her. as you glide your tongue up and down on her clit, take your index and middle finger, slowly slide them into her vagina, and curl the tips of your fingers, and then rub up on the top wall until you feel a spot (about the size of a nickel) that feels sort of spongy. congratulations. youve found the g spot. There isnt much you can do with it creative-wise, so just do repetitive motions on the g spot. That alone will make her have. amazing orgasms. Once you master this whole technique, you should be able to keep any girl haha. it will allow you to make girls squirt. which is absolutely amazing to see. Enjoy.

I just wrote a freaking novel on eating out your woman. If this gets 300 notes I will publish it tonight.
I like playing games with you guys. :D

1 MONTH AGO

322 NOTES

I'm sleeping with one of my friends. I like him, and I'm pretty sure he feels the same, but we haven't really talked about making it official, even though everyone assumes we are? I really like him, and want to make it official, but on the other hand, I broke up with my ex of a year and half only like, 2 months ago. Your fantastic advice as always?
Anonymous

give him time and dont rush things. plus, its a dick move to the last guy to see you with another dude so soon. But on a side note,I think that the fact that youve moved on so quickly is a sign that the latter extent of that relationship wasnt functional. so if youre thinking about moving on to a new relationship, you should find out what went wrong in the last one (not why you broke up, just why you moved on so quick) and strive to avoid that before it happens again.

So... How far will you go with Brad Pitt...?

Anonymous

the real question is.. how long can he last?

How did you meet saucy?

Anonymous

In my dreams. Holy Jesus, she is amazing. she said that one guy cried when she broke up with him. and first i was like da fuq? apparently he was literally on his knees begging her to stay with him like a little baby and, at the time, I just couldnt fathom why the hell he would ma ke such a fool of himself like that. well, then I started getting to know her and just experience experience her and ___fill in the blank___ with her and. now I understand. the way she smiles, the way she touches my hair, the way she can just talk to me for hours and be real and funny and honest and.. holy shit her SKIN. its so fucking soft. her hair is the most luscious thing Ive ever ran my fingers through. she knows exactly where to touch me and what to say and fuckin. her hands, lips and tongue on my neck drive me over the edge and make me wanna wife that woman. but yea we met on tumblr. to answer your question. Brad Pitt is almost 50...
Anonymous

still fappable want to hear a story about my vagina? never mind you'll never get it
Anonymous

Watcha gonna do wid all dat junk, all dat junk inside dat trunk?
Anonymous

imma getgetget get you drunk. get you love drunk off my hump. my hump. my hump my hump my hump. my lovely lady lumps. checkitout

So i was in lit. class reading your blog when my teacher asked me a question. I didn't realize until after i answered that i said "North Amerifuck," instead of "North America." i got in trouble,but this kid 2 rows over that never talks said to me leaving class, "male minded? he's cool." he still doesn't speak but he'll nod at me when he sees me now. Just thought I should tell you that.
Anonymous

I just saw fight club, I don't entirely get it. can you explain it to me?
Anonymous

his name is robert paulson Okay, I was told about maleminded in my inventor's student group (I AM a nerd, yes), and it was awesome as hell. Then I found this, read a ton of it and discovered you also love mustangs/cobras. '07 Shelby GT. My Favorite car of ever. So, we bonded without you knowing it. Also, I love your advice/comments/gifs/blarg, so thanks for doin what you do man. Hearts and ball sacks, another chick fan.

Anonymous

oh my god. a woman that knows about cars. slpooge. everywhere. what length would you classify as a big penis?
Anonymous

when you flip it up, it touches your belly button "fuck I shouldn't have texted that because now I look like a desperate tampon"
Anonymous

"According to Steve Wilhite, the creator of GIF format, the original pronunciation deliberately echoes the American peanut butter brand, Jif."
thekylemeeder

IVE BEEN SAYING IT LIKE THAT ALL THIS TIME AND EVERYONE DOUBTED ME Just made a Tumblr account, any recommendations on blogs I should follow? ps: you're awesome.
yrahimy

http://mariiis.tumblr.com/ http://b00w.tumblr.com/ http://dig1tal.tumblr.com/ http://iwannalickmycomputerscreen.tumblr.com/ http://paczki.tumblr.com/ http://dvdp.tumblr.com/ http://northamerifuck.tumblr.com/ http://mozd.tumblr.com/ ps:thanks!

"Im a Christian because only God could make something like you."
- Jeremiah to me (via saucydossy)

1 MONTH AGO

115 NOTES

To the 19 year-old who can't find the time to masturbate, I hear you. Our shower isn't so great and my vibe is loud. More GIFs?
Anonymous

the worst part about living in the dorms is not being able to masturbate. i said it. my roommate and i are on a similar sleep-schedule, so we always go to bed at the same time. and our shower isn't really accommodating to self-pleasure , AND IT DOESN'T HAVE A DETACHABLE SHOWERHEAD. 19 year old sexually frustrated virgin (yeah, that too.) who can't masturbate. for the love of all that is sexy, gimme a gif.
Anonymous

Me, a name, i call myself!

Anonymous

Far, a long, long way to runnnnnnnnnn! Doe, a deer, a female deer!

Anonymous

Ray, a drop of golden sunnnn! i cry a little bit every time i come onto your blog and there are no new posts D:
Anonymous

Heres one :D

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

I want to stop doing sexual things with my boyfriend. I've tried many times before where I told him I didn't want to do that stuff anymore because one,it doesn't sit well on my conscious. And two, he just doesn't appreciate it. It's like whatever to him, where it's more like he wants IT rather than ME. Every time I've tried to stop with him he doesn't take me seriously or gets butt hurt. How do I tell him and make him understand where I'm coming from and have us actually go through with it?
Anonymous

It comes down to you < his penis. Its going to be your natural instinct to want to believe th e opposite. from a guy thats been in that situation, it sucks to be rejected. its even worse to be rejected by someone that youre dating. were surrounded by couples that just fuck each other senseless all the time. when you combine the testosterone of a sack of testicles and the expectations of a sexual society, its hard to not feel

that pressure. you need to come to terms with the fact that what hes choosing shows what he truly wants. on the other hand, by going however far youve gone with him, and then shutting down the baby making factory completely, youre torturing him. if that didnt sit well with you in the first place then you shouldnt have baited him into this appetite that he now has and now has to starve. on an even more obscure point, isnt a relationship without ANYthing sexual just a friendship? friend zoning is a tough nut to swallow. He probably feels rejected and unattractive to you. as much as it may seem like he may be in the wrong, you sort of asked for it. I dont know what exactly you could do to remedy, but mention what I just said to him and maybe hell agree :j can I submit random pictures of sweaty man ass from the gym?
Anonymous

yes

Can I submit pictures of my body? :)

Anonymous

no The fact that we cant include links in asks stops me from sending over some awesome websites.
housecreature

http://itsjeremiah.tumblr.com/submit !!!!!! Any tips on how to give an uncut guy a blow job? I seriously need help. from you or you follower.
Anonymous

lolol the second answer http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080811095146AAnsBoR Have you ever dated a girl outside of your race?

Anonymous

I find dogs attractive when Im high

Things you just dont say to people:

allythinkss:

2 MONTHS AGO

3,457 NOTES

so two gay guys are having sex, and after finishing, one guy says 'ill brb, but DONT fap!" the other replies 'ok'. so the first guy gets back and theres jizz alllll over the place. then he says "i thought i told you not to come!!!" the second responds: i didnt! i farted!"
Anonymous

PROOF THAT YOURE A GIRL: "Until desired. But dont shampoo too often because itll strip your hair of its natural oils." What male knows that.... haha jk.
Anonymous

men with luscious hair and girlfriends i think i have kind of long pussy lips.... what do i do? do guys find that like gross?
Anonymous

I never have found it unattractive. when a girl has had long labia in the past, i usually just suck on it in a very sensual manner. lol youre fine! meow

2 MONTHS AGO
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE KITTY CAT? :(
autistando

59 NOTES

like if I should change it back! about them shampoo bottles. how many times should you lather, rinse, and repeat?
Anonymous

Until desired. But dont shampoo too often because itll strip your hair of its natural oils. do you like to read?
Anonymous

Calvin & Hobbes the back of cereal boxes the back of shampoo bottles when I take a dump i dont feel attractive to my boyfriend anymore, any tips on how to spice up our love life? sexy underwear doesnt seem to bother him as he generally doesnt look, its his birthday soon so i want him to come home from work to something amazing.
Anonymous

In past relationships, Ive noticed that whenever she doesnt put out for a c ertain amount of time, or makes me work for it, I want it even MORE. so much more. Like nothing else matters. sometimes, shed pull a I just want us to focus more on our relationship more or I feel like sex is becoming too important. Which is, of course, responded with of course, baby! I totally understand.

-____After a few days of that I start to feel like im in the desert and the Mountains of Sex are so far in the distance. Im sitting there in the sand with nothing to drink as Im surrounded by mountain ranges of passion and blow jobs. The fact that I CANT have her makes me NEED to have her. So, of course, I give in. and when I wanna go, all it takes is my tongue on her clit, and shes in too. We do it. Its hotter than ever. then, of course, whe n were done, she regrets it. She gives me a Jeremiah!! I thought we werent gonna do it this often anymore! so on the outside Im all:

but on the INSIDE, Im all:

So the moral of the story is, pull something like what she did. Except dont do the whole regret-it-afterwords deal. Itll be really hot and, if its spontaneous, itll be even better. PS. she admitted it was some of the hottest sex shes ever had. you could tell it was hard for her to admit it, but she did. but i poop from there
robbybeck

not right now, you dont. Sometimes I like to put my penis between my girlfriends vag lips and imagine that it's a hot dog
Anonymous

so Im gonna post some strange asks while Im in class When gay guys fart does it go "puhhh" instead of "toot"
Anonymous

Is it still rape if you use a "her pleasure" condom? If so, I might be in some trouble...
Anonymous

quality blogs

http://mariiis.tumblr.com/ http://b00w.tumblr.com/

2 MONTHS AGO

7 NOTES

How does it feel to be with an older woman? ;)

Anonymous

what was the exact moment where you were just like : holy shit.. im tumblr famous
Anonymous

When post 80 (the heyyyyyy one) got 324093513 notes and got me 11,000 followers in one day. I had to exchange my laptop for a new one because I got so much jizz on the keyboard that it short-circuited and stopped working. can we get a full shot of that kitty that's your profile picture.
Anonymous

probably one of my favorite answers by you, and i have no idea why: "i'm the one in the Mariners shirt eating ice cream like a whore."
Anonymous

I don't know why people want to see a picture of you so bad or have your icon be a photo of you. Personally, the cat icon takes the cake and is HILARIOUS. Who wouldn't want to look at a picture of a seemingly either retarded or happy cat?
Anonymous

Bitch, my boyfriend has been away for almost two years, we're over 5,000 miles away, and 8 hours apart. not ONCE have i cheated on him, and it NEVER crossed my mind. no amount of loneliness would cause me to do such low acts. You dont deserve to be in a relationship..
Anonymous

this anon has successfully mentally turned me on

my boyfriend has been away for 8 months working, today he calls to say he's done early and will be home on sunday ... he worked super long hours, and the time difference killed for talking to him and i was so lonely every single night. the past month i've been talking to this other guy a lot, just as friends at first, but then one night our txt turned into sexting and, well we've swapped pics and vids. sexting is as far as it went. does loneliness justify my actions?
theflameinthemirror-deactivated

no i want to send you a picture of a person purposing from a pokemon.. how do i do that?
Anonymous

not sure what youre trying to say, but theres a nifty submit link on my page it's 9:42 for you? where the fuck do you live?
Anonymous

I used to live in Seattle. I still havent changed the clock. its about 12:40 right now

So my boss. I have overheard that he ruins computers by downloading too much porn on them, he calls me his "little girl," I am the only employee who gets paid in cash, he hugs me every time he sees me, says shit to me like, "if I knew you back in high school, boys would have to ask my permission to talk to you." wtf. And today I swear to fucking god he had the hugest herpe sore thing on his lip and he shaves his legs. Unsure why that's relevant, but...I just turned 18. He knows. What do I do.
Anonymous

quit. move to another country. invent a time machine. go back in time. give his parents condoms.

like if Ive never answered one of your asks

2 MONTHS AGO
Don't cry, not all of your pokemon hate you. Only the ones named Chad.
Anonymous

875 NOTES

ask of the night All of your pokemon hate you

ohohphly

this one actually made me cry a little but inside My tongue is six inches long and I can breathe through my ears.
Anonymous

you probably need a calculator to figure out how many girlfriends youve had. I came here to insult you, but then I realized your life was insulting enough.
Anonymous

you were born on a highway cause that's where most accidents happen
Anonymous

Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

Anonymous

You're about as cool as Bro-Tips

Anonymous

low blow, man. don't you mean source? i would insult you, but you make me laugh, so i won't.
Anonymous

Y U NO VISIT 4CHAN So I lent my copy of Fight Club to my ex while we were dating (he's never read it or seen the movie!!! blasphemy). Point is he dumped me two months ago and still hasn't given it back to me, despite my having

texted him about on more than one occasion. Needless to say, I'm pissed. It's my favorite book of all time. Oh, and the irony? His name is Tyler...
Anonymous

if you get this, youre on my level. YEAH! i thought so, because in the movie it says "on a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero" instead of "will drop to zero." i'm so fucking happy you know the difference.
Anonymous

Im glad you follow me I would say cunt licker but technically you are, so then I thought to say penis licker but then I'm sure there would be some attack on acceptance of gays. Some I am gonna stick with llama butt hole licker that likes to shove dog poop us his ass, shit head.
Anonymous

I bet you climb up a chickens ass hoping to get laid

Anonymous

HEY. POST #174. 9GAG CREDIT. NOW.

Anonymous

LOOK AT THE SAUCE YOU FUCKER have you read fight club too? the book is even more fucking amazing than the movie. you should read some of palahniuk's stuff, he's fucked up but brilliant.
Anonymous

if you look closely, youll notice that that quote was from the book, not the movie:] should ask your followers to insult you and show us the best one.
Anonymous

GO

Very true it is a depressing line. But it's one of my favorites. To me it reminds me to live my life well and to spend each minute of it spreading my legacy. Lol idk. What would be your favorite line sir?
adavis742

On a large enough time line, the survival rate for everyone will drop to zero. you're the most self centered person i've ever seen on tumblr.
Anonymous

bon iver's voice is angelic. if my vagina lips had the ability to sing whilst i orgasmed, it would be his voice.
Anonymous

the previous line was from fight club, and you didn't recognize it?
Anonymous

of course I did. thats why I called it a line This is your life, and it's ending one minute at a time
adavis742

thats the most depressing line Is your name Winter? Because you'll be coming soon.
Anonymous

you should just post tons of pictures of random cocks all day bro because there is nothing like logging on tumblr and seeing cock everywhere, i love feeling like a queer
Anonymous

is that saucy girl the one you were obessing with before and all the girls got jealous?? bro she aint even hot
Anonymous

as much as I disagree

i feel like you have a bunch of interesting/funny stories about your life. tell me one so i dont have to do my homework
Anonymous

one time my little brother took a shit on the playground while not wearing any underwear so it just dropped out of his shorts onto the ground and it looked like a dog turd. its my birthday and i feel more alone and hopeless than ever. Is it just me or do birthdays only amplify the things that are not quite right with life?
joicetotheworld

Its my stepmoms birthday too! I over-heard that it was today so I called her up and said I didnt know it was your birthday! she responded with I dont give a fuck what you know. (shes not too fond of me. and no, that wasnt sarcasm on her end). the conversation continued with me: well, happy birthday!

her: fuck off *le hang up* but anyways, yes. the expectations of a birthday being a good day only emphasizes any shit you experience. I was in the hospital for my 15th, 16th, and 17th birthdays. no joke. the first was for my leg that was severed open, the second was when I had bronchitis and ended up losing 20 pounds, annnd the third was when I had to get my system pumped clean from my attempted suicide. the fact that it was my birthday only made things worse. hang in there, things will come around.

Can you post a cock pic again?

Anonymous

again?? oh my god you people need to learn to save shit to your computer You can go ahead and put your sauce all over this doss ;D
saucydossy

That shirt is very becoming on you. Then again, if I were on you, I'd be coming too.
Anonymous

On the hotness scale from 1 to 10, I'm like a 6. But YOU, you're like a solid 9. If we got together, we'd make a mean 69.
chasingfreeedom

I hope you know CPR because you just took my breath away.
Anonymous

I lost my virginity, can I have yours?

Anonymous

2 MONTHS AGO

136 NOTES

do you think its hot when you're having sex with a girl and you're about to cum and she says put it in my mouth? serious question lol
Anonymous

My girlfriend was going down on me and threw up on my dick. Thoughts?

Anonymous

i would never give a random guy head because ew. but i lovee giving my boyfriend head. its so hot to feel him in my mouth and make him feel good. i get just as turned on as he does.
Anonymous

I absolutely enjoy blowing my boyfriend. The look on his face before, during, and after I have sucked him off is absolutely awesome. And I enjoy giving him the same type of pleasure he enjoys giving me.
Anonymous

While that last anon is clearly with the wrong guy, she shouldn't go making blanket statements about how girls are just pretending to enjoy giving head. Myself and all my sexually active friends, hand to God, enjoy it more than we can express. It's one of the best powertrips a girl can have.
Anonymous

i hate giving him head. can you blame me? not many people like putting a dick in their mouth. sometimes it's like i'm doing it against my own will. just to make him feel good. i feel violated. truth is, most girls pretend to love doing it. and if i don't do it, he'll find someone else that will. FML.
Anonymous

SILVER LINING: if you dont do it, and he leaves because you wont do it, then was he really the kid of guy you wanted in the first place? a dude thats so shallow that he would actually find more worth in someone else due to their cock-sucking preference? good riddance, motherfucker Any favorite Bon Iver songs?
strangenessandacharm

flume. all day and night. nothing but flume

2 MONTHS AGO

40 NOTES

some of my favorite blogs

http://dig1tal.tumblr.com/ http://dvdp.tumblr.com/ http://paczki.tumblr.com/ http://iwannalickmycomputerscreen.tumblr.com/

2 MONTHS AGO

12 NOTES

WWJD what would Jeremiah do?

Anonymous

My girlfriend killed herself a few months ago because she was scared of coming out to her parents and couldn't live a lie anymore. Two months after she died, I came out to my parents and they kicked me out. And when her parents found out, they asked me to move in with them. Moral is, don't give up. If someone kicks you out, someone else will take you in. Her parents would have loved her regardless & now she'll never know. I needed to say this because people need to know never to give up.
Anonymous

assuming, you've taken someone's virginity, did it hurt the girl you had sex with? just a lil nervous for my first time i don't want my bf to be rough
Anonymous

it will hurt a lot. like you-will-cry-if-he-goes-any-farther hurt. a good guy should understand. if hes a douche about it just stick a dildo up his ass while hes asleep. getting deflowered isnt like AH MAH GAHD SEX FEELS SO GOOD for most chicks. you might have to get just the tip in for a long time gradually progressing. but who knows, you may be lucky

Attention Females:
If you swallow, youre a champ. Go team.

2 MONTHS AGO

271 NOTES

any man that won't kiss me after i've fucking swallowed his cum is a pussy, in my opinion. i swallow all of it, and lick him clean, i don't want that shit lingering in my mouth so i make sure it all goes down, and if i reach to kiss him and he won't simply because of that, it's done. i kiss him after he eats me, so wtf.
Anonymous

Her mouth was open, we were making out man! She swallowed it all I think. If not I guess I could have used that extra protein for my gains. Shit am I no hetero now?
Anonymous

is this massey? Some girl begged me to kiss her after she gave me head and I came with the power of 1,000 suns. I did. How am I suppose to feel about this?
Anonymous

was her mouth open? closed? depending on the severity of the kiss, its like sloppy seconds of the mouth with yourself. I think people are missing the point that most guys lick pussy so it's not different if they lick their fingers once they're done fingering
Anonymous

trufax

I lick my bf's fingers after he's done fingering me..or my own after i'm doing fingering myself in front of him. Is that weird?
Anonymous

my only rule in the bedroom: if you enjoy it, do it. who gives a fuck if its weird or not, right? but, on a side note, thats hot My bf LICKS his fingers after fingering me, is that normal?
Anonymous

after I finger my girlfriend I get right in her face and suck my fingers dry. Hey, this is a really weird question but here it goes: After my boyfriend fingers me and we're laying there watching tv or whatever I always see him in the corner of my eye smelling his fingers. Is that weird?
Anonymous

HAhaha no. just awkward. guys smell their fingers after an itchfest of their jewels so why not see what you smell like? wait.. wtf are we dogs? you should update mozd more. its by far the best of your blogs. BY FAR.

Anonymous

Im trying to find green pictures! do you like yoga pants on girls

Anonymous

youre new! welcome:] but yes. I find myself constantly debating which is better: a naked ass or an ass in yoga pants. so u dont fap anymore bro?
Anonymous

no bro. I fap. I'm thinking about giving up porn. Comments or advice?

Anonymous

start going to church. youll feel like shit afterwords. OR you could just watch some reeeeally fucked up videos on the internet like fatal car accident pictures, pain olympics, 2 girls 1 cup kindve stuff. itll make your balls pretty blue for awhile hopefully haha. but honestly, its a hard fight. (lol hard) my longest break was three years. I just realized how fucking pathetic it really is. I thought Im literally just sitting here jerking my dong in front of a computer screen. or you can remember that your grandparents are probs watching you from heaven hahahah

"Saying why bother gaining muscle when its going to turn to fat when youre 60? is like saying why bother living if youre going to die anyway."
- I stole this from massey

2 MONTHS AGO
If he keeps pictures of the girls he used to fuck. Does he still care about them?
Anonymous

49 NOTES

no. its easier to fap to someone you know what's your opinion on girls that use sex to gain leverage in getting things that they want in a relationship or having it her way.
Anonymous

I feel bad for them because that only means their boyfriends arent doing a good enough job in the sack . haha theres a mm post that says if shes using sex as leverage, youre doing something wrong. but to answer your question, theyre just as manipulative as a guy who says he loves a girl to get the same thing. I was on my boyfriend's computer and I opened windows media player. I was looking for a song we had listened to together, so I hit play once it opened. It ended up being a 7 second video of his ex fiance giving him head. I deleted it immediatley. Now I feel horrible because I feel like I was snooping, and it wasn't mine

to delete. But we just moved in together, and I feel like that shouldn't have been on his computer anymore anyway. Ugh. Your thoughts, please.
Anonymous

I think that if hes with you then he has no business to have that shit hangi ng around. if he gets pissed that you deleted it, it means one of three things: he still faps to it, he legitimately forgot it was there or he was gonna use it as blackmail. but fuck. thats a shitty thing to find. Im sorry:/

What are some really fucked up and explicit blogs I could browse?
2 MONTHS AGO 81 NOTES

Dude, what do I do? I really like this girl who's in the the final year of my high school.. I'm two years younger, and we're tight, but she sees me as a brother.. how do I get out of the friend zone? sometimes this seems

like an entirely lame pursuit.. but I really like her! I tried "find" on friend zone, but no one has that age gap.. she really likes this site, so I figured you might be the right person to ask?
Anonymous

well youre in a little clusterfuck because of the fact that shes a senior. senior year is when people dgaf and say fuck it to a lot of relationships because of the fact that everythings coming to an end so whats the point, right? if you really want a relationship with her, youre probably going to have to be straight up and just put your neck out there. but logically, your best bet is going to be something physical and shallow if anything. there are two basic concepts for evolving from just a friend to a possible attraction: looks and money/status. youre in highschool so looks is probably your best bet. remember were in shallow territory because odds are she doesnt want to get attached to someone that shes not gonna see regularly if at all. so workout, be as dateable and attractive in the most shallow sense possible and maybe something will happen at a party or a late night together. im only saying this because if you arent satisfied with friendship alone then physical attraction probably has a lot to do with it. but if you try and fail, just be the brother to her. no one likes to be pressured. How did you get so Tumblr famous?
cuddleduck

I think its because I made maleminded when's your birthday?

Anonymous

September 21 do you like foster the people by any chance?

Anonymous

besides pumped up kicks, obviously, helena beat is one of my favorite songs by them lol my bf brags how ninja he is at "re-arranging himself" in public. And apparently you guys can just go from the inside of your pockets.
Anonymous

AWWWWWWW YEAHHHHHH. my nigguh. he knows the ways. I need new music, got anything good?
Anonymous

you know it babe the zone-the weekend apartment-young the giant

colors-portugal the man the funeral-band of horses heartbeats-jose gonzalez anna molley-incubus pardon me-incubus eclipse-metric anything by metric

'flip my meat'
Anonymous

lol @ the picture. they're all obviously new here.

Anonymous

I wonder how many people thought that was actually you.

indefineable

it was me, fool whatchu talkin bout

i was told its called seatbelting.

adayindreamland

Your fangirls annoy me...

thelatom

ballsackkk <33333333333333 omg you mean the "boner tuck" ?

space-jam-jordan

how do you arrange when you get a nrb??

Anonymous

oh its genius. I flip my meat that decided to get hard in science class right under my pant/belt line so its close to my belly button then i just throw my shirt right over that fucker and continue on with my day looking like I have no package at all. its a sacrifice. could you please like post a picture of yourself? my friend was telling me how she saw the one you posted before you took it down and how you're soo goodlooking- you look like a douche, and how she likes you LESS now because of your looks(that makes no fucking sense she's an idiot and i dislike her). i wasn't as interested before but now like, i think i might punch a baby if i don't see what she's talking about:( sooo if you could post a picture for just five minutes i can die happy<3ballsaaack
Anonymous

my mom took this. shes silly

how do boys arrange their genitals in underwear? Sincerely the curious girl community
Anonymous

it depends. whitey tighties? boxers? when we get an nrb? If your girl was being slandered on the internet, would you: ignore it, or beat the shit out of whoever it was?
meowsymcdermot-deactivated20111

how the hell does one cockslap someone through the computer screen? i can cross my legs. does that mean my dick is too small?
Anonymous

it means that its warm out. when i cross my legs (never in the presence of another human being) I adjust so that my dick just chills on top while my ballsack drops below. hey my dads name is chad i guess he is a pokemon.
Anonymous

i worked hard on this

I love how that highlighted part is all deep and then the rest of your response has to do with renaming your pokemon while high. -_togaru

I know! they highlighted the wrong damn section. oh well

Do you think that my future husband would love me any less if he knew I wasn't a virgin? I mean this generally. Would a man not love me as much if I had sex with someone else before him?
Anonymous

its comparable to how long it takes you to get out of the shower in the morning. hell still love you, but he certainly wont like it. but dont worry, a real husband wouldnt love you any less.

"The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism"
- Norman Peale (via inhellsdespair)

2 MONTHS AGO

378 NOTES

do you ever wonder what your life looks like from someone else's eyes/point of view or am i the only one?
Anonymous

Sometimes I do. it helps keep things in perspective. I hate the idea of settling. or being normal. fitting in. I dont want to be like everybody else I feel like everybody has crazy dreams but then they find something that satisfies them for a little bit and they just end up leaving it that way. so watching other people (older people) that live mediocre, unfulfilling lives just gives me the pity and, therefore, motivation to do whatever it takes to avoid that. Im sure many people do the same thing WHAT DOES GPOY MEAN?!?
space-jam-jordan

girls pee on you what's the first thing you notice about a girl, superficially? what about after that?

Anonymous

always face. its just a natural reaction. followed by ass, legs, hair, boobs, skin and smell. well, depending on wether Im close enough to tell haha confession: you know jenna marble's video of what girls do on the internet? the part where she says "should nooot have shaved so close to my butthole" is too gpoy for me. just saying, cause your itchy buttcrack deal... i just had to get that out. haha
Anonymous

So I met this guy during the first week of University, and I've never been more attracted to someone. I couldn't stop thinking about him all the first week. He's 1 year before me so I didn't see him much after that, so the feelings subsided a bit. Un/Fortunately, I saw him again at a party and we talked a little -my feelings came back. This keeps repeating, over and over. I don't know how to convince myself not to like him, since I know nothing will ever happen since I barely know him, advice?
Anonymous

I have no specific advice for you but all I can say is just GET to know him. why hold yourself back from what could be something awesome just because you dont know the guy? oh and if youre attractive, odds are hes feeling the same way. it sounds horrible, but lets face it, our eyes and genitalia are very shallow and horny organs. "Scratch that." TIL YOU GET SORE. Scratch that. OHOHOHOHHH
reves-de-modele

itchy pillow case ready to go scratch now scratchin in the bedroom slow with the mats down itchybuttcrack got the whole thing packed now itchin in the club now and wardrobe torn up now I feel it down and scratched now (ooh) I see it red and rashed now Im gonna scratch it, then I pull my pants down itchy no problem, pocket full of that now lol "scratch that"
Anonymous

all on the floor! scratch that. give me some more! Meh, I don't think you got owned. I believe both your earlier statement and this anon's both have value, but I personally agree with yours.
theoceanisnotsilent

I agree with myself too haha I just thought it was a clever way of looking at it. typically, if youre living in a country that provides public libraries, odds are you have the opportunity to get a job as well. countries like America are spoiled as fucknuggets in the worldwide spectrum. people holding signs saying we are the 99% can go have sex with a cactus because, in reality, we are the 1%. we are blessed beyond belief. its the poverty stricken, diseased and dying millions across the globe that make up the 99%. futta tua madre.
Anonymous

how dare you my mom is a nice lady. Just because that last anon has an internet connection doesn't mean life is financially good for them. They could be using the free internet at a public library as they hide out there, trying to keep warm for a while, because they know that soon, they'll have to go back out and spend the night on the street (after looking through a dumpster for their meal).
Anonymous

I just got motherfucking owned. noice you know what sucks? when you have to itch your ear in a public place but feel like it'll gross people out so you can't.
Anonymous

no the NOSE. the nose is the worst! actually, scratch that. random ass itches if fury are severely infuriating. its like WHAT THE FUCK IS MAKING MY ASS HOLE BURN LIKE FIRE AND WHY ONLY WHEN MY CRUSH IS AROUND. lol scratch that.. ah so jelly of myself right now. it sucks how your life can be great, almost perfect. but then small little bad things start happening and soon they happen all the time and your life is falling apart and you just want to end it all. but then tiny good things start to happen and you know you shouldn't get too excited because life is just going to bite you in the ass again but you can't help it and once you're finally truly happy once again, something ruins it and it all repeats.
Anonymous

or you can just keep in mind that while youre sitting here with an internet connection, people are sifting through garbage looking for their next meal. Do you think it's possible to love two people at the same time?
contentwiththenow

If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one, because if you really loved the first one you wouldnt have fallen for the second. -Johnny Depp I think this is true because truly loving a person after feeling that first love for someone else proves that it wasnt love in the first place but merely extreme infatuation combined with possible physical attraction creating a bond composed of hormones and feelings that simply come and go like a player in highschool.

haha I feel like Im writing an essay. if you got that last simile, youre awesome. RAPE MY DASHBOARD BBY
Anonymous

*THRUST*

Sorry this has nothing to do with sex but um what are your plans for the future? Like, career wise.
Anonymous

how dare you ask such an off-topic question. I want to design cars and major in either industrial or automotive design, make mass quantities of money doing what I love, support my family, my wife and random strangers with that money and after that, buy a massive ranch or island and take in all of the injured or neglected animals I can find, feel really sorry for them, kick their owners asses and feed and shelter them until I die of a random seizure. I know im overdoing this answer haha i'm so lonely i think everything i'm doing is wrong
Anonymous

well thats what happens. it really fucking blows. you yourself dont change and yet the people change around you so you begin to convince yours elf that its your own fault. the fact that what were doing isnt making matters any better convinces us that what were doing is only making matters worse. dont be too hard on yourself because it happens to the best of us.

is acne a turn off?

Anonymous

no its actually very attractive. youve heard of proactive right? well I hear theyre coming out with CONactive. it puts a fresh group of fresh zits wherever applied. just a little dab and youll be ready to feel the splooge of horny men everywhere. :D To be fair, the "I lied" face at the end of the fake orgasm story could have been interpreted as applying to the character in the story lying about whether he had an actual orgasm/came, at least that's what I thought.
Anonymous

seriously guys.. with the fake orgasm story. you didn't get the "i lied" face? LEARN YOUR MEMES YOU DUMB FUCKS.
Anonymous

WAIT SO IF I TYPE IN ALL CAPS WILL YOU ANSWER MY QUESTION?!?!!!1?!

faynir

NO how should a girl grind?

Anonymous

Ive posted this before but..keep your ass in constant contact with his crotch/junk. grinding is essentially swaying back and forth while he puts his hands on your hips as he grabs your waist, thighs and torso constantly pulling you closer. even though you (the girl) should be constantly pushing that ass into your man, a guy whos good at grinding will usually take control. I like to put my hand on her legs, waist and neck sometimes grabbing a fistful of her hair and slowly pull her head back as I bite and kiss where her jaw meets the curvature of her bare neck all the while our bodies are bumpin and humpin really smooth-like to the beat. haha basically its just about going with the flow and finding a guy that knows what hes doing. How do you grind?
Anonymous

how should a girl grind or a guy?

Do you give nudes?

Anonymous

on the street corner

where did you meet saucydossy?

Anonymous

in my dreams

So I got a tumblr just so I could follow you.. It was getting kind of ridiculous visiting your multiple tumblrs every day...
itwasthewrongway

it was the wrong way What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Anonymous

Hold on to your nuts, this is going to be one hell of a blowjob What blog are you on the most often?
creative-url-zac-made-up

northamerifuck YOU NEVER ANSWER MY QUESTIONS HELP ME MAKE OUT WITH A GUY
Anonymous

ITS LIKE KISSING EXCEPT YOU OPEN AND CLOSE YOUR MOUTH EVERY HALF-SECOND OR SO. USE YOUR TONGUE AND JUST CARESS YOURS WITH HIS AND STUFF BUT JUST DONT FUCKING USE IT LIKE YOURE TRYING TO HURT HIM. GRAB THE HAIR ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD AND LET HIM KISS YOUR NECK/EARS/JAW ETC. ITS PRETTY FUCKING SIMPLE. GO WATCH A PG-13 MOVIE.

itsjeremiah officially has more asks than maleminded.

2 MONTHS AGO
do you like eating out?
Anonymous

33 NOTES

fast food is great! i want to save myself for marriage and i just wanted to ask what ur opinion on that would be? like lame or .. since thats what i get all the time
Anonymous

Thats the best wedding present.

are you horny right now ? you seem VERRRYYY horny

Anonymous

age: 19 gender: M distance from the only woman I will touch: 436 miles yes, I am almost always horny.

Tips and shit? I don't even know how to give him a hand job cause it's as big as my hand cupped -____Anonymous

holy shit. try just making a circle with your index finger and thumb. pinky up!

get off anon and Ill pm you haha Jeremiah, I've been talking to this guy for a while now and we finally had sex for the first time and while I knew his junk wasn't as packing as my ex, it's like, really really small. I don't know what to do with a small penis. Help.
Anonymous

.________________. how can I assist you

post dirty gifs!

Anonymous

2 MONTHS AGO

190 NOTES

can't say i have. i didn't realize that started that young

Anonymous

National Geographic

15 jerk-off sessions in a row? haha cooooooool

Anonymous

you have obviously never been 11 years old in a house by yourself with nothing but Target bra catalogues.

Guys can have an orgasm without ejaculating. Its rare, but still possible.
Anonymous

Ive had them. After about 15 jerk off sessions in a row I tend to shoot blanks i'm pretty sure you make up all your own anonymous' dick head.
Anonymous

When your mom tells your bf/gf a humiliating story about you that she somehow finds funny.

2 MONTHS AGO
wait a sec...what other stuff have you lied about on here?!
Anonymous

101 NOTES

nothing. I thought that the toothpaste thing was obvious enough because its pretty hard for a guy to fake an orgasm because shit comes out. wait i'm confused in all honesty is your fake orgasm story true or false
Anonymous

that is most definitely untrue hahaha BULL SHIT. I DONT BELIEVE YOUR FAKE ORGASM STORY. It's too hilarious to be true. LOL. Toothpaste...
Anonymous

you caught me im so lonely in uni the only thing that gets me by is pretending to txt people but im actually reading your blog. then i go home and watch walking dead

Anonymous

i watched the whole first season yesterday! pm me and I can give you my brothers number so you can text him. he has no friends. but hahahah I just realized that you meant you look at my blog on your phone. thats bamf. sometimes when I fake text, Ill just be looking at random ish and settings while periodically making random faces as if I were reacting to whatever I just supposedly read as well as periodically typing out full, coherent messages that no one will ever read.

Thinking about smoking weed for the first time with some friends, what should I expect?

Anonymous

well, once youre in the circle, theres no skipping. once the joint is passed to you, you have to take a hit. whoever paid for/brought the green, rolls the green. no pussy-tokes. You take as much of that shit in as you can. Do your absolute best not to drop it. 1 toke per pass. return any lighters to their rightful owners. and whoever provided the kush has final say. Have you ever faked an orgasm?
Anonymous

yeah. one time I was going at it for about 4 minutes from behind and I was all hereIcomehereIcome so I pulled out and she was doin her thing just sitting there waiting like a champ to feel my warm splooge all over her backside. But since I lied and was nowhere close to cumming I pulled out my nifty toothpaste bottle I keep warm on the heater next to my bed for such occasions as I pushed her head into the pillow so she couldnt see and I squeezed that bottle of Crest as hard as I fucking could just moaning OHHYEEAAaaaaahhhh as she said whatever the fuck girls say to make the guy feel like shes actually enjoying sticky semen squirting all over her back. I wiped it up and she never knew. She thinks shes the hottest chick ever for making me cum that fast.

i am 12 an what is this
Anonymous

did you see that new lego set theyre coming out with? its totally cool Have you ever had an orgasm?
Anonymous

no I find this stuff online. Im only 9 You wake up, its still night out. You enter your kitchen to find a homeless person raiding your fridge, he looks to be armed. What do you do?
Anonymous

the McDonalds coupons are in the pantry. my brother says: fuck him in the ass with a spoon. Ugh.. is it weird if a guy is just a few inches shorter than the girl?

Anonymous

yeah but fuck the system My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly a year, and I'm completely in love with him. I'm a year older than he is, and I was wondering why people think that's weird? I mean, when we've been married for 50 years (which we fully intend to happen) what's it going to matter that I was born a year before him? So. Yes. Why is it a big thing if the girl is older than they guy? I quite like your blog, by the way. It makes my soul happy.
Anonymous

I honestly dont think theres anything wrong with it. unless youre 18. that is the only reason I can think of that you might be getting weird reactions. I currently have a thing with a girl who is two years older than me. well, more than a thing. but yeah, theyre probably jealous and desperate to find something to rag you about. Dear Jeremiah, you're just.. an awesome asshole. And such a nice jerk. You help me a lot. Thanks, bra.
Anonymous

I would gladly give you a sweet hug till you suffocate. I am in a very happy, serious relationship of two years. I would not change a thing about it, yet I sometimes still find myself missing my ex of four years ago. He was my "first love" and my first relationship. I do not have ANY desire whatsoever to get back with my ex, but sometimes I will see an old photo of us or hear a song that reminds me of the period when we were dating and I'll feel kind of sad. Is this normal at all or am I a "terrible person"?
Anonymous

no I feel like thats completely reasonable. if it wasnt, Id be in trouble. I have absolutely no desire to get together with my ex who was my first love but its only human to miss good things and good memories. shes my ex for a reason but I also dated her for a reason too. I think your head is on perfectly straight. keep on keeping on. The Fuck is that video?
Anonymous

le gf

2 MONTHS AGO
rape my dash, please i beg you.
Anonymous

116 NOTES

im going to bed. =/

"I remember looking down at my cum..."

Anonymous

STOP. FUCK MY LIFE I have that same fear of "am I wasting my time? Am I doing what I should be doing? Is this how my life is supposed to be?" and it's scary as fuck. The way I get myself over it is I reminded myself whatever I'm doing at that exact moment is exactly what I'm supposed to be doing. There is no wrong choice, no wrong life. It just is how it is. It makes me feel better whenever I have a freak out about it. Try it out. Maybe it will help you too.
Anonymous

YES. except I feel like that rule has loopholes though. because we all have certain goals and aspirations right? and most of the time I feel like almost everything I do just steers me away from that. for a small example, I have a personal fitness goal. I wanna be a certain weight, look etc and, sometimes, sitting on my ass or eating frosted flakes all day long just defeats that goal. thus causing regret and further doubts as to what I should be doing. but keep in mind that thats a very dumbed -down example. have you ever thought about marriage and what your life would be like being with just one person? i feel like that scares the shit out of a ton of guys.
Anonymous

I would love to have that. as long as its with the right person What is your greatest fear??
Anonymous

uncertainty? Like, not knowing when the people I love are going to die and not knowing where they are going. I also have a massive fear that Im wasting my time. Im constantly doubting whether or not what Im

doing right this moment is really whats best in the long run. and also, if tumblr ever completely crashes, suicide is imminent. I know you've posted it somewhere on here before but I can't find it, I have a terrible headache and I can't get rid of it. :( tips?
Anonymous

Theres a pressure point between your index finger and your thumb right where the muscle is. Squeeze it as hard as you can. The left hand will relieve pressure on the right side of the brain and vice/versa. If it hurts your hand then youre squeezing in the wrong spot. You should be able to squeeze as hard as you possibly can and it shouldnt hurt at all. Ive been doing this for as long as I can remember. It works. :D yellow next on mozd please?
Anonymous

its gonna go green/yellow/orange/red biotch

DO YOU LIKE MAC MILLER ?? I LOVE HIM

Anonymous

Ive seen too many gifs of him saying are you a hipster? cuz I can make your hips stir to even give him a chance. I apologize for my lack of influence on your dashboards lately.

2 MONTHS AGO

30 NOTES

people with small penises tend to overcompensate, i mean, look at the global distribution of population..
Anonymous

"Size isn't everything. The whale is endangered but the ant is doing just fine." - Bill Vaughan
Anonymous

Thats because everyone wants a piece of the whale and doesnt give a shit about the ant. Post my question you whore.
Anonymous

Detailed tips on eating out a girl?

Anonymous

I used to think you were just another one of those douchebags... and I still think so.
Anonymous

wait, so what exactly am i supposed to write here? do i ask you for sex tips or whine about my failed relationship? <333
kneecolecamille

Tell me about how bad your life is and make me feel bad if I dont answe r you! <333 I'm cold
Anonymous

hehehe

All senior citizens should have life alert

2 MONTHS AGO
did you ever try masturbating to muted porn and your sex playlist? how was it?
Anonymous

53 NOTES

brb

you should post a picture of your brother so we all know what we're getting into c:
Anonymous

hes five. way to pedo Why'd you get that tattoo? What does it mean to you?
Anonymous

scroll for a while, ctrl+f, type in tattoo. :D OH MY GOD. That no gag reflex works. My boyfriend is in for a treat when he gets home.
Anonymous

woo!

Make a fist with your left hand, squeeze your left thumb, then put your right index finger down your throat. NO GAG REFLEX!
Anonymous

im 17. im drunk. and i realized that i have no friends. and i sucks balls. but the worst thing is that this isn't the first time that im drunk and aware i have nobody. hahah i know it sounds so stupid, but they always leave me hahah. im the friend nobody really cares about. it looks like im not one of the cool kids anymore.
Anonymous

fuck what people think. everyone is just as insecure as you and I are. on a somewhat random note, I had a friend senior year who, it seemed, everybody liked. LOVED. it wasnt a party if he wasnt there. people practically worshiped the ground he walked on. he had one of the most attractive and funny girlfriends possible. he had a guaranteed full-ride to over 10 colleges due to being a badass at football. he was 65 and had looks that every dude was jealous over. it was absurd to see him not surrounded by friends. and it hardly ever happened. One time, we were up late just talking. about chicks, family, life, stds, itchy assholes and that awkward moment when you get turned on looking at an ass and then realizing it belongs to a relative or some shit. the point is, we were just honest. he admitted to me that he felt like he was the loneliest person he knew. that in the midst of friendship, the expectation of never feeling lonely causes any loneliness at all to be excruciating.

Its almost as if the loneliest people have it better off because the attention required to comfort them is minuscule compared to the amount of effort it would take to comfort someone like my friend. It makes popular people sound like assholes who have it easy, but I think it just proves that anyone can be just as alone and miserable in their own mind. because pain isnt relative. so, in the pain of loneliness, were not really alone. So, my boyfriend has been in boot camp for the past 6 months and I picked him up at the airport this morning. Well we get back to my place and start fucking like animals. About 5 minutes later I start moaning, "mmmm Jeremiah" (his name is Ryan.) at first, he didn't even catch on. But when it got to the point that I was moaning and vigorously rubbing my clit..he was like, "wait - Jeremiah? Hm. I read that kids blog." awkward moment of the year award goes to me
Anonymous

thanks for making me want to puke.

Anonymous

dont worry its just nutella. I licked it to be sure

What are some good positions for dorm room sex? The beds are so fucking small.
Anonymous

get on the bottom bunk, have her wrap her legs around your lower back and have her grab the bars on the bottom of the top bunk with her hands. then you can bang as she sways back and forth. its pretty fun. remember, remember the 5th of November!
Anonymous

V tips on making your butt look better?

Anonymous

work as hard as you can to get really strong/pronounced hamstrings. that will make any ass look like a better ass. trust me Ive analyzed this a lot. As a girl, having sex on my period is AWESOME. js
Anonymous

you wouldnt mind having your man parts all drenched in her blood?
Anonymous

would you have sex with a girl if she was on her period?
Anonymous

extra lube

Would you date Brad Pitt?

Anonymous

I hate when fangirls get pissed at you for not liking them. Like gtfo. I'm a fan of you, and I'm a girl, but I do not want to fuck you. These stupid girls make me want to slap a bitch. Oh, by the way, northamerifuck is amazing. I check that shit everyday. :) you should update it more, it's by far your best blog.<3
Anonymous

I agree wholeheartedly. That and mozd are the only two I visit just for my own viewing pleasure Who do you think is not overrated, celebrity wise? :)

Anonymous

I think Mary Kate and Ashley are super fucking hot. i hate when my dog licks its chops and it makes a gross sound
Anonymous

Opinions on celebrities Mila Kunis, Jessica Alba, and Megan Fox?

Anonymous

They are all overrated. would i look like a loser if i went to the caf at like eleven by myself tonight? i'm so humgrum but it is also a friday night. . .
Anonymous

Sometimes I go to the Old Country Buffet and hit on old mens wives so that they feel a little more territorial about their women thus leading to possible sexy time later on that night.

do you know how to get past victory road on pokemon emerald?):

weenises

:D http://www.psypokes.com/rs/victory.php do you prefer girls with small boobs or big boobs? :s

Anonymous

whatever boosts your self-esteem

Once my friends and I got high and we watched Finding Nemo. And when the Bruce showed up, we hugged each other and started screaming. And then I fell to the floor crying. And every time he came on, I ran out of the room. Best horror movie ever. No shame, no shame at all.
Anonymous

That sounds more like shrooms. You know how the carpet turns to linoleum in the kitchen and theres that little ridge thats like a half-inch high? I was on shrooms and I was going to get something to eat. I spent about 5 minutes getting up the courage to take that step into the kitchen. It looked like a 1000-foot cliff. I swear to god I was almost in tears. the girl that i'm in love with but i got friendzoned by and i were supposed to hang out tonight. she blew me off for a party and now i'm sitting here debating smoking the weed we were gonna smoke together. i don't wanna feel like a loner though
Anonymous

Smoke it all. The quicker you stop bending over backwards for her the quicker youll be out of the friend zone. Smoking weed alone is one of the best remedies. For me at least. I have no problem going to movies, smoking, drinking or just being alone. Being reliant on surrounding yourself with people and parties and all the social shit just makes you pathetic. break free of that and just be satisfied being alone in your own thoughts for once. it helps make time go by slower and soon youll realize how precious time is. savor it. btw while youre high, go re-name all of your pokemon. then when youre not stoned out of your mind, you can go see what you named them. When I did it, I named all my pokemon Chad. the more followers you have, the less of a life you have. fuck.

2 MONTHS AGO

41 NOTES

Hi, I really like northamerifuck aside from all the pictures of the twin towers. It's your blog and you can do what you want, but when people post pictures like that it makes me feel like nobody understands. I was at school 4 blocks away, my house is two blocks away, my family was forced to move out of our home for a year, my friends parents died, I saw and heard things no 10 yr old should. The picture of the exploding building? PEOPLE were inside there. People DIED. How can you think its okay?
Anonymous

I dont. Posting those pictures is a harsh reminder but possibly a life -changing one as to how precious and fragile life is. But I am deeply sorry for your loss. That makes me wanna cry. Im so sorry

then what's his name. and no don't come up with some witty answer. seriously, what's his name?
Anonymous

Kyle Korver. Played first with the 76ers with AI, then with the Jazz and now with the Bulls. free courtside tickets for life? bullshit
Anonymous

my cousin is in the nba. so fuck yall

Me and my friend love your Seattle Supersonics shirt pic! Are you a sonics fan? We're from Seattle :)
sillyswede

Yes!!!! I grew up in seattle annnnd I have Gary Paytons signed shoes and two of Ray Allens signed jerseys along with free court-side tickets for life.

too bad theyre gone now though.

But I poop from there.

Not right now you dont.

2 MONTHS AGO

51 NOTES

I was following MaleMinded at post 3, back before people wanted to have your babies and know everything about your life. but I think you've reached tumblr-fame. congrats, you've done well.
terminalchillness93

Thanks man. I really appreciate it. Those were the good days. maybe there's more to life then being really really really ridiculously good looking.
amiahuman

*duckface* in the picture of the girl in the white dress you reblogged is it unattractive that you can see her belly poking out and it's pretty visible and round? i have a similar body shape as hers and im so insecure about my belly being round/poking out like that.
Anonymous

are you fucking serious? that picture is an orgasm. if you look like that then you are too.

iwannalickmycomputerscreen
2 MONTHS AGO 15 NOTES

rough sex tips?

Anonymous

pull hair in fistfuls very close to the scalp, choke but let her breathe, force her arms above her head or behind her back, no wimpy thrusts, breathe heavy, bite her neck and ears but not too hard, just so she can feel your teeth, and never stop grabbing her hips, limbs or just her body in general.

I just wanted to let you know that, I was reading your blog while my econ professor wouldn't shut up and this guy leaned over my shoulder and said " that guy rocks!" Thanks to you I might have found the love of my life! Keep up the awesome work
Anonymous

i am guilty. i check your blog several times a day to see if there are new posts.
Anonymous

I check this everyday, no shit. It's like the most legit blog out. Its my most viewed page on my phone and all that jazz.
Anonymous

I also agree with the other anon that doesn't have a tumblr... I check this shit regularly during the day always keen to see if there's new posts, this blog is getting me through my final and hardest exams of my schooling life. Feel honored yo (Y)
Anonymous

Just wanted to say that like the other Anons, I don't even have a Tumblr but I check your blog all the time for new posts. I think I'm addicted...
Anonymous

awwww yeah " your penis is too large to fit in my mouth and "Swallow my man juice because you want it" "Screa m I fucked your mother"
Anonymous

FFFFUUUUUU You're a brilliant guy, you know that? Like fuck you how do you come up with such brilliant answers I can't even... Have you tried those, though? The ones you put in your "some random ass things you can safely do" list?

Anonymous

only answering this to say that I performed the scream I fucked your mother thing at least 5 times today. it was so satisfying to get off my chest. I want to do something rebellious. I know that sounds silly but I am craving some sort of something. I have an 8 month old so for the past 17 months I have been perfect. I can't drink, or smoke weed. My fiance is 2360 miles away so sex is out. I need something to feel alive - I feel quite frozen inside. Being a mom is amazing but I am 19 I still a teenager - God that sounds so bad.
Anonymous

wow I dont even know what to say. I applaud you. but here are some random ass things you can safely do: sneak into a second movie at the theater, cross the street when it says dont walk, scream I fucked your mother! at random pedestrians as you drive by, smack a random womans ass, click on an Internet ad, start doing pushups in the middle of an intersection, masturbate with a cucumber that youre using for the salad that youre feeding someone else with, put peanut butter on your vagina and call your dogs name, pour the cereal AFTER the milk, log off of tumblr for an entire day, do 360s in a random parking lot, rickroll yourself, and finally, go to McDonalds and just order one single fry then get pissed because they gave you a whole carton.

Can you post a sexy scenario like that one time you posted the beginning of a dirty text? I need something to get me wet.
Anonymous

So you were sitting on a park bench minding your own business when a water balloon falls from the sky right into your lap. then the sprinklers turn on spraying you from head to toe as thunderclouds start to roll in and it starts to rain. how much can you really know about yourself if you've never been in a fight?
rainofgold-

*puts down beer bottles* the only way i can orgasm when i have sex with my boyfriend is if i think of you
Anonymous

That got me hard

post a sexual picture of boobs!

Anonymous

ok My boyfriend wants me to send him some dirty pictures. What kind of ideas do you have that will really turn him on?
Anonymous

if you have one of his shirts, wear it and nothing but that. something that barely covers your snatch. haha that is one amusing word. that makes your legs look really good and the fact that it would be his shirt will make it twice as hot. when it comes to your face make it so that your face is cropped out from your nose up so that he can focus on those lips that you better be biting. if youre going topless make it so that your hair is barely covering your nipples or just put tape on them. a tease is always sexy. plus its safe in case you break up. now for ass shots, dont do that shit where you stand or lean a certain way so that you think your butt looks good/athletic/thinner or whatever. maybe its just me but I think the hottest thing is when you stand so that youre kindve arching your back and standing straight up so that theres a definite crease where your

ass meets your legs. and your butt just bunches together for the lack of a better word and it really looks like theres something to grab. but if youre gonna bend over, arch that motherfucking back so that your ass looks like its basically begging to be hammered. if you wanna be a little more modest, take your hand and cover up your pussy with your fingers through and in between your legs. dont worry about looking super skinny. squeeze your tits together and make everything volumptious and asking for a grabbing. Id fap to that. can i have your blog
Anonymous

my login is sexyboi69@gmail.com my password is jeremiah1 how many questions do you have in your ask box right now?
Anonymous

on this blog 16,204 sometimes I like to sleep outside on the streets. no hobo.
fractureddelusions

Love is being the owner of the company that makes rape whistles. And even though you started with good intentions, trying to reduce the rate of rape now you don't want to reduce it at all; 'cause if the rape rate declines, you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales...
Anonymous

You need to post on maleminded that the twitter account thats using the maleminded name and logo is not yours. A lot of people think you run it even though its completely different post.
Anonymous

I was going to but I dont want to give it that kind of publicity. I am wasted. I am hgih. I just got an email from my superintendent for slandering teachers on facebook. Beecause nobody listened to me when i talked about how my planning teacher who teaches us life skills , about how her eatign disorder had destroyed her life,. I WAS IN THE HOSPITAL WHEN I WAS 12 for an ed. I don't need you bringing that back up when I am 16 in your planning class. Thanks bitch. Or how my councellor doesn't listen. What am i to do? I live so far away now why does this matter?
Anonymous

Only if you let me lick you ass hole and if you call me daddy. no homo
masseyp

do that thing with your mouth and my jewels that makes me feel fuzzy inside. no hetero. Hey cutie, cum over this weekend. Faggot.
masseyp

you need to promise me anal this time. no homo. I think that if I was in your position, my mom would choose my stepdad over me too... Do you think you'll ever be able to forgive her for it?
letitsn0w

Ive completely forgiven her! I love my mom to death. you never answer my questions, bitch.
Anonymous

lol past anon's have made me realise that i am not the only one masturbating to porn muted and your music.. winner.
Anonymous

WHAT AM I MISSING where's your sex playlist?

Anonymous

on maleminded So how's class?

Anonymous

were talking about possible recipes involving nutella and marijuana. and by hand I mean penis.

2 MONTHS AGO
What's the most awkward thing that has happened to you when you were masturbating
Anonymous

23 NOTES

my dog started licking my hand. what did you do to piss your parents off so much that you slept in a bed in a truck for half a year and now you dont talk to them?
Anonymous

I was accused of domestic violence when I was 14 against my 240 lb step dad. since there was no evidence against me, so the police decided that my step dad and I wouldnt be allowed to live under the same roof to prevent further issues. so they let my mom choose between him and I and she chose him. herp derp. I thought i was the only one who played your sex playlist and muted porn to masturbate...
Anonymous

I need to try this

Do you think less of people who had to drop out? Like. Not "Fuck school" Drop outs. People who have health issues. Etc. I had to, for instance. I didn't get pregnant. I didn't get kicked out and I didn't flunk out. But I was growing ulcers in my stomach and somehow, that doesn't qualify for homebound. So I had to drop out OR let the ulcers keep growing. Am I wrong to be annoyed when people say All Drop Outs are lazy? You're not gonna answer this. Felt annoyed by it. Just wanted to bitch. Lol
Anonymous

Im on the same page. I was homeless living out of the bed of a friends truck for about half my junior year. and I made it. what would you do if you had a sister and one day you enter her room and shes masturbating? cause it happened to me and now i dont know how to act
Anonymous

dont mention it. ever. and if she ever brings it up, reply with I have no idea what youre talking about. creepy answer: help that bitch out next time. I don't even have a tumblr, and I think it's getting to the point where I check this blog more often than facebook. feel honored.
Anonymous

thats actually pretty fucking awesome. next time someone cuts me off Ill just yell fuck you people like my blog! and then he will cower in all my glory of internet royalty. Ok I really need your help. It may sound like its nbd, but it is for me. My brother is 15 and the only thing he does is play computer games. He will play for like fucking 7h+ day, everyday. And he makes my mom and dad fight all the time. He used to go to the psychologist, but it didnt work. I cant take this anymore, it kills me to see him calling my mom a slut/other bad words and I cant do anything, cause he would beat me. Hes not a psycho, but he can act like one if he wants to. What can I do?
Anonymous

make greatest freak out ever videos. jk. but thats insane. theres obviously nothing you can do to him if he physically beats you. but you need to get on your dads ass and start telling him to do something about his son. thats what Id do. Your sex playlist + porn (muted) = the best masturbation I've ever had.
Anonymous

As soon as I get home I will be able to test your theory. I know this is really stupid but I am terrified right now. Im alone at home with my dogs, my mom left for another city this morning. Its 4 AM, and suddenly my dogs just came and woke me up, and are acting very very strange. Im so scared, I cant stop shaking. I dont know whether Im afraid of the paranormal or just someone breaking in,..I just dont know what to do. Please help me.

Anonymous

turn on all the lights and blast the song Mambo #5 at full volume and then put a tshirt on your dog so that he has to walk around with his feet still inside the shirt. youre welcome. what class are you in?
Anonymous

2 dimensional design. I run this class. plus everybody is high. so I look really smart. Sorry I'm new here but how do you manage four blogs? Do you have a job?
Anonymous

I have two. theres this amazing thing called the tumblr app. Im actually in class right n ow too. fuqdapolice then what is true company?
linngullberg

cats. I started my 1st year at college, and to be honest it sucks for me. I also have no friends, and spend all my time alone, I tried making friends it's not like I was trying to push everybody away. Its just hard when groups are already established. But its okay. I'll just write in your ask box
Anonymous

Im your friend. haha. its not like I have a best friend either. were all alone in our minds. theres no one who will fully understand us and what weve seen and where weve been and therefore no one who can truly relate to us. adds up to a whole bunch of loneliness. Ive been on both sides of the playing field and know that friends do not equal true company. this blog and google are my two most visited pages... google is my homepage. I think I have a problem..
Anonymous

wow. is it one of those things where you check everyday and see of there are new posts? because if that was the case, Id be honored. high school sucks. it's not your whole life though. i hated high school. i had rumors fly around, i had friends stab my back, i had people judging me. i am now in college and ilove the feeling that i can start over. you may feel alone but you are not alone. i feel alone a lot of time. i have no best friends. but i believe it helps to know others are in this situation.
Anonymous

Ditto with that high school anon. I felt like I was reading a paragraph summary of my life right now. But from what I hear, college really isn't any better or less lonely. I'm stuck in the same funk, at the same age, with the same GPA.
Anonymous

I want to drop out of high school. Plain and simple. But looking at me, you wouldn't think so. I have a 3.8 GPA. I'm on academic teams, in the honor society and I'm a state champion in track. But I hate it there. I'm alone. I literally have no one. I've never had a single friend, even though I'm a senior and I've attended the same schools in the same district since kindergarten. My parents hate me.. I just want someone to be there for me. I want to drop out and find that person..
Anonymous

I understand youre in a funk. but I feel like its my responsibilty to just tell you not to drop out. dropping out isnt going to help you find someone special or give you a best friend. youre a senior. this will be the quickest year of your life. Im listening to you and you can always write in my ask so does that help? on top of that you have college to look foreword to. its totally diffe rent.

If someone says, Dont tell a soul can you tell gingers?

2 MONTHS AGO 359 NOTES

Talk about something normal that happened to you.

Anonymous

Calvin and hobbes, pokemon, stick battles in the forest, cereal and samples at Costco defined my childhood. talk about a funny expierence durning school
Anonymous

okay. Ive been expelled from three schools. the first time I was expelled it was for a fight. this is how I got expelled the second time (obviously from a different school). I was in 8th grade and I had just set the school record for times sent to the office in a month. because of that, they told me that the next time I got in any sort of trouble that they would have to expell me. no matter how minute the reason. sure enough, about a week later my friend jacob and I took the letters off of the main billboard out in front of the school to say pot king (we had to work with the letters that were already there). they found out it was me and since I refused to rat him out, I found myself sitting alone waiting to see the principal again. it was a long wait and when I was sitting there, I saw this small room were the computer that controlled all of the tvs in the school was. In this school there were big tvs mounted on the walls of every classroom with a powerpoint of announcements and some bullshit always running. conveniently, the speaker for verbal announcements that was hooked up to speakers throughout the entire school was in the same room next to the computer. now, 50 cent was popular at that time. so I decided to close the powerpoint, open up youtube and fullscreen the music video for candy shop by 50 cent. I likewise hooked up the computer to the microphone that was now playing the song in every classroom and hallway throughout the school. as I returned to my chair, I heard candy shop in

all its glory play at full volume along with a full screen music video of women gyrating all over 50s junk in every. single. room. after about 10 minutes of chaos, they settled the school down and called me in to the office. they expelled me for the pot king incident but never caught me for the music video. felt cool. have you ever NOT been able to get it up?
Anonymous

only one time. -______- and it was recently. phone sex = hearing aids
masseyp

is that sarcasm?
Anonymous

Im not quite sure actually. 90% of my top-notch wardrobe was purchased for $4 or less at Good Will. I should do a fashion show. Best place to meet somebody new?
Anonymous

Goodwill. Anyone who shops there is one cool motherfucker. Response to the anon about softies: one time I was sucking my boyfriend off and right when he was moaning that he was about to cum, nothing happened and he started slowly getting soft. It was most likely because we had already gotten off like a few times that day. He was frustrated, not turned off at all.
Anonymous

To the anon speaking about beiber: It's anatomically impossible for two girls to have sex and one end up pregnant.
hopestillflies

i got this ask today:

my girlfriend was fucking me in the ass with a dildo and she came while inside of me, am I going to get pregnant?

so me & my boyfriend are just into our 7 months. & we have amazing sex all the time, but every once in a while this situation occurs where he just can't get hard or he looses it really fast... it he not attracted to me enough to get turned on by me...?
Anonymous

no. all i can say is no. It just fucking happens sometimes. its like a no reason boner except sometimes its a no reason softie. So, I graduate from college in the spring and I recently got a really great job offer to start working full time, it's my dream job, and I really want it, but it's in France. I haven't told my boyfriend yet, b/c we had originally planned to move in together when I graduated and just kinda start our life together. We've been together almost 8 yrs now, I love him and I don't want to leave him, but I don't want to miss this opportunity either :/. If it were you would you let your gf go?
Anonymous

A full-time dream job usually means that youre going to be committed to it. It doesnt seem like one of those things where you can just go for a while and then give it up. Its a commitment just as much as your boyfriend is a commitment. Depending on how established I was where I lived (job-wise/family/friends) I would consider just moving with you to another country. With 8 years behind you, I feel like in certain situations thatd be a possibility. But, to be honest, it sounds like you may have to choose between him and your career. I think, even though you love him and youre this close to living together, that itd be wise to pursue your career. And once you have that settled, then you can always figure things out with him later. But if you decide to do things long distance, you should know that it will be one of the hardest things you will do. And if you come out of it still together, you two motherfuckers better get married because that alone proves a lot. Long story short, yes. I would definitely let my girlfriend pursue that. so apparently this women is accusing justin bieber of being the father of her 3 month old baby. i didnt know his balls has dropped far enough for that to happen...
Anonymous

balls?

alright so im into this girl and she seems flirty and telling me im really cute and stuff and to go say hi to her at work and shit but idk how to tell is she honestly likes me or is just being nice so confused
Anonymous

based on that extremely vague scenario, Id say that if you want find out what she really thinks, youre n ot gonna figure it out when shes at work. Shes either required to or just wants a tip haha. but if shes the same way outside of work then id say go for it? Okay, so I had awesome drunk sex with this guy on friday and he texted me all day saturday, but then the texts just stopped :s. Should I text him? Is it one of those, "the guy isn't texting you because you're not texting him" situations?? ALSO, I fucking ballsack ALL your blogs, and driving stick is all I want to learn to do now.
Anonymous

Unless hes a known player, hes probably thinking the same thing. Texting first isnt any genders job. As long as you dont just slaughter him with texts, texting first is totally fine. and thanks! I ballsack my blogs as well. Is it sad that 75% of my day is usually spent reading your blog? I ballsack you, man.
buttfac3

UPDATE NORTHAMERIFUCK MORE? it makes me happy.

Anonymous

im on it.

personal opinion of period sex?

Anonymous

god-given lube.

Could you ever see a follower as a friend and not just one of the masses? - Susan.
Anonymous

yeah there are 4 people I follow that I know personally

Or when the power in the lift stops working when you're halfway up the hill, and you end up sitting there for two hours until they get the back-up generators going, which then takes another half hour to slowly inch the lift up to the top. True story.
Anonymous

every. damn. time. I usually just entertain myself by rocking my skis forward and back making it seem like the chair is about to fall off. That and spitting on random people snowboarding below me. And then totally not exhausting yourself at all trying to push yourself to the next slope. And then there's the beginners who for whatever reason decide to ski down a really steep slope, and end up going from one side of the really wide slope to the other, just casually randomly stopping every now and then in the middle.
Anonymous

Then getting your glove stuck in the lift chair as it drags you around and back down the hill as you dangle by your loosely-worn mittens. And then theres that guy who makes small-talk on the chair lift and then you both realize that theres nothing to talk about and yet youre still not even half -way up the lift so you just sit there in awkward silence. And when you finally get to the top, he (from the left side) and you (from the right side) go opposite directions and end up falling all over each other as people from the chair behind you ski over your fucking faces as they urinate in the snow. Yeah, or when you're at a really skinny, flat part and someone in front of you starts skiing (or snowboarding) from one side to the next, and you can't get past them, and because of it lose all your speed. And get stuck.
Anonymous

And then fall over because you have no speed and break your ankle as your boots pop out of the skis. Then looking like a dweeb trying to snap that bitch back in there but theres a shit ton of snow constantly between the boot and the strap. Then vigorously pushing yourself around with your poles because youre awesome like that. Skiing is amazing. There are too many people who don't know what they're doing though, sadly. Can't tell you how many times I've almost run over snowboarders who decide to sit right underneath the crest of a hill.
Anonymous

or those teenagers that think theyre all badass on their boards and end up sliding down the bunny hill on their asses because they cant handle a turn. Do you ski or snowboard?
Anonymous

I started snowboarding when I was 4 and started skiing when I was 12 annnnd I like skiing better.

if youre reblogging dozens of pictures of tyler the creator, I will unfollow you.

2 MONTHS AGO
lol y u no like gay porn
Anonymous

40 NOTES

it grosses me out. go ahead and be gay but Id rather not see dudes sucking dick.

I agree with that dashboard shit, especially hate those fucking pictures of the girls with their overly teased and messed up hear and heads down holding up some random shit or gang sign with it's like wtf are you doing gtfo. sorry rant over.
Anonymous

rant on. were the same person. 50382728 notes for a girl making a duck face. makes me want to punch a baby. What is the best thing for a girl to do, after swallowing when she gives her boyfriend a blowjob? (sorry thats so blunt) My boyfriend keeps hinting he wants me to give him one, and I'm more than willing, im just wondering about what im supposed to do after hes finished?
Anonymous

spoon. or eat. unless he wants to return the favor like he should. personally I get super tired after I finish so I could just sleep and be fine. which is why its always smart to get yours before I get mine. your dashboard must be empty as fuck then
Anonymous

hahaha youd think. Reasons you would stop following someone?

Anonymous

they post drake quotes, post 28846 pictures of themselves, post tell me what you think about me shit, post a bunch of gay porn, post too many asks, and if they post reblog if you care bull crap. or too many picture quotes about teenage drama.

Do you know any sodium jokes?

789allnightlong

na

Do you like jack johnson or mat kearney's music?

Anonymous

Ive been to jjs concerts and kearney is amazing. I feel absolutely invisible. Dunno why I'm telling you that, but I just wanted someone to hear me.
Anonymous

Howcome you took off the picture of yourself? -___Anonymous

fan girling. I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles. And I'm sorry for telling everyone about it. And I'm sorry for repeating it now.
annthestrange

two cats in one ask. so much win. How do you nicely reject a guy? I dont want to be perceived as a bitch just for not being interested... I'm just not. lol
Anonymous

It sounds bad, but probably lying. if I were to be rejected by you, the easiest thing to accept would be something like my parents wont let me date, I have a boyfriend or your penis is too large to fit in my mouth. just be vague and subtle. top 10 hottest female celebrities?
Anonymous

Jessica Biel Eva Mendes Natalie Portman Jennifer Garner Emma Watson Andy Milonakis I cant think of any more. Sloth and I miss you. pretty sure you can tell who this is.
Anonymous

I miss you more. ask everyone if I can come up for christmas. and ask if I can bring a friend yo. what was your experience in juvenile hall like?
Anonymous

story time again? it was depressing and yet funny as hell. they required us all to wear matching sweats and shower together which I guess I was used to because of football. Out of about 20, I was one of the only two white kids. The first night there, after they had hand and ankle-cuffed us to the beds, I heard a *chinkchinkchinkchink* in the bed next to me. I looked over to discover a black kid jerking one off not giving a fuck about anyone around him. he noticed me noticing his fap session and looked at me like was going to kill me. I proceeded to turn over and pray to god that hed stop. that motherfucker had obviously been there for a long ass time and just dgaffed. why all my stories involve fapping, idk. Do you have any tattoos? if so what are they and why did you get them?
lukerex

someones new haha. I have love is deaf under my right arm. I got it when I was 17 and got the idea for it when I was 14. I was sent to juvenile hall for two weeks and the warden/person who monitored us had the exact tattoo. at first I was like wtf. it made absolutely no sense to me at first but after a while I realized the meaning: you cant just tell someone you love them, you have to show it. I finally decided to get it after the phrase and experience I went through to discover it stuck in my mind. danielle bushmaker or tori ferguson?
Anonymous

Tori. Tori is like the coolest chick. and everytime I hear danielles last name I think of bush. and that makes me feel like butters. cool and creepy to know that you went to my highschool though.

" your penis is too large to fit in my mouth and "Swallow my man juice because you want it"
Anonymous

FFFFUUUUU im still in love with my ex boyfriend but he says he does not care about me anymore and that i should move on, but i really dont want to and we are still having sex, there is an other guy that always flirt with me and we've benn hanging out a lot lately and i believe its making my ex jealous, but i dont want to use the other guy, what should i do?
Anonymous

its sad (not in a pathetic way) that youre afraid of using this other guy to get your ex back when your ex just using you. a guy that is still hooking up with an ex that he claims he has no feelings for is just selfish. but weve all been in those shoes where we refuse to work for what we want and yet refuse to give it up. stop letting your ex use you and you wont have to worry about using this other guy. i googled andy milonakis, damn.
568363

I GOT PEAS ON MY HEAD. BUT DONT CALL ME A PEAHEAD. I ride a motorcycle, is that hot or does that make me look butch?
lilmisskmarie

Thats fucking hot. Unless its a harley. YO, so i'm too lazy to even fap right now so could you possibly list your different tumblrs again? i don't have the patience to scroll all the way down and control F when you did it before hahaha. ballsack.
Anonymous

http://northamerifuck.tumblr.com/ http://mozd.tumblr.com/ http://autovisual.tumblr.com/ and maleminded, obviously. you forgot emma stone
Anonymous

She is not hot. emo is one step below tranvestite.

Anonymous

Stop. my. breathing and slit my throat. *bum* bumbum.* I must be emo. i must be emo ftw!
Anonymous

thank GOD someone appreciates that. My complaint is the opposite of most girls. Instead of cumming too soon, my boyfriend takes FOREVER to get off. What are some reasons why?
Anonymous

he watches too much porn, jerks off too much, jerks off before having sex or youre ugly. jk everybodys beautiful. Do you think dimples on girls backs are cute?
Anonymous

like right above the butt? those are HOT. you deliberately disobeyed me. and whats worse, you put Nala in danger!
Anonymous

I was trying to be brave like you, ass wipe. was that picture for the no-shave november process?
Anonymous

no it was an excuse to whore myself and gain followers. you must be new here. paramore, really?
Anonymous

really! fuckyeah Why do guys think it's sexy when a girl drives stick?
Anonymous

personally, I like to sit there and pretend its my penis. you look absolutely nothing like i imagined.
theophobias

people are now going to tell me how they imagined me to be. a lot of people apparently thought I was black do guys think girls wear certain things that make them look ridiculous? and what are some of them, so i can learn to avoid it.
pourmeadrinkteresa

uggs. unless youre an eskimo. oh and baggy clothing. everything should be skin tight and very revealing. jk. but I was serious about the uggs. I'm an 18 year old girl from Holland and have been together with my boyfriend for 4 years, and I absolutely love him! But some time ago one of my best guy friends said he was in love with me, I don't feel anything for him, because I love my boyfriend, and I told him that. But now I don't know what to do, because I was kinda close with him. My boyfriend knows about the situation, and I don't want to hurt him, nor the guy friend.. Should I end the friendship for the sake of my relation?

Anonymous

If you have to, then yes. Because a true friend wouldnt put you in that situation forcing you to choose between one or the other. So, do you like 30 seconds to mars?
Anonymous

yeah theyre pretty good. whats cool to me is that Jared was in fight club. Who is that guy in the picture you posted? :o
Anonymous

Jared Leto

do you drive stick/ think it's sexy when a girl does?

Anonymous

Yes of course and yes of course what the eff does chuck testa mean
Anonymous

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJP1DphOWPs welcome to the internet. so personally, do you like girls with big butts? I have a huge round butt and my boyfriend loves it, and I always get hit on by guys because of it, but sometimes my friends will say rude things like "wow your butt looks huge in those pants" or "dont you ever work it out?" I work out a lot and I'm not fat I just have a round rear. sometimes the things they say make me feel bad about myself like i should change it, but i cant. what do you think?
Anonymous

Guys like it, your female friends dont. Coincidence? nope. chuck testa. theyre jealous little bitches.

Do you ever mess with your ass when fapping?

Anonymous

Always. did you ever tell your step-sister why you sold your xbox or did she ever find out that you saw her doing that with your controller? hahahahahaha by th way, that story was fucking hilarious.
Anonymous

NO. oh god the awkwardness. its fucked up though, when she heard I was selling it, you could tell she flipped a bitch. she was like WHY WTF BUT YOU LOVED THAT THING. no, bitch YOU loved that thing. You sick, sick, twisted bastard! How could you sell that contaminated Xbox to some unsuspecting innocent person? Because of that story I am never going to buy a used console/controller ever again. I can't believe you'd do that. I'm disappointed in you. I didn't think you were capable of such true wickedness. The only appropriate thing to do was to kill that thing with fire. Fuck you in the ass with that controller.
Anonymous

I threw the controllers away and sold the console for a reduced price. but you can still sodomize me with a controller if youd like. For a college class we had to put together an inspiration project type thing. For "Who has helped you through the toughest times in your life?" I put Jeremiah. Everyone assumed it was most likely a friend or family member. It wasn't.
Anonymous

I think girls need to realize that they have as much of a shot with you as they do with any movie or tv star if all they do send anonymous love notes and bitch about your current girl. I mean, since you aren't actually on tv (yet) if they met you in real life normal day Ohio, that'd be a different situation, but when's the last time Brad Pitt hooked up with a creepy anon letter-sender?
Anonymous

last night. he says my letters were extra touching. I think your asks are fucking hilarious. Real talk bro, the responses you give are funny as hell. Keep this shit up hahaha. Perhaps a funny reply to this question?
Anonymous

how about a personal story? one time I was home sick (I was in 7th grade at the time) and my older, obese step-sister came home unaware of my presence in the house. I was in my room reading Calvin and Hobbes or foxtrot or something as she came up the stairs. she went in her room and did her thing while I just sat silently in my room in bed. all of a sudden (my room was directly next to the loft where my xbox was), I heard my 360 turn on. i sat there thinking what the fuck is kassi doing on my motherfucking xbox. idk why but I remained in bed. I then heard halo music play as she was clearly about to play the campain or something. a

few seconds of silence were followed by about 3 minutes straight of gunfire. like, non-stop, holding the trigger down for minutes straight. I finally decided I had to confront this bitch who was playin my halo. I looked around the corner and saw my 17 year old bitch of an obese step sister with my xbox 360 controller shoved about a quarter of the way into her snatch. I didnt know what the fuck to do. so I literally sat there on the floor of my room as I heard the gunfire of master chiefs rounds ricocheting to the pleasure of kassis sticky vagina for what seemed to be an hour. she finished. I was scarred. I sold my xbox the next day. youre like the justin beiber of tumblr. lots of anonymous girls all jealous and hateful when you found someone you care for. LET THE MAN BE
mikay1a1a1a

fuck. you. for that reference. do you think jenna marbles is hot?
thisisfair

no. she is hilarious however. dude if I followed me I would get so tired of seeing asks in my dash. idk how you guys take it.

2 MONTHS AGO

28 NOTES

To the anon who helped a guy cheat: he will cheat on you. i didn't know i was the person who my ex cheated with until after i started dating her. we dated for a year and a half, she started cheating on me 3 months in. reality is a bitch.
corykaplan-deactivated20111223

F IS FOR FIRE THAT BURNS DOWN THE WHOLE TOWN, U IS FOR URANIUM .. BOMBS. N IS FOR NO SURVIVORS- PLANKTON! that's not what fun is about! let's try again ..
Anonymous

totally unrelated, but see ay em pee eff eye are ee ess oh en jee song. What's a good porno blog to look at?
Anonymous

its more softcore, but sexyandfunny.com I just think that it's ironic how someone bitched at you about only posting anon questions while they were on anon.
peacepuppet

lolllllll I'm sorry, but you spelled "ludicrous" wrong.

hue-less

moooove bitch. get out the way. get back. yall dont knowme like that.

Bro you used to be so boss hoggin. Now all you do is post Anon stuff. Please take a break from that and get back to what your Tumblr was made for.
Anonymous

someone please remind me what it was made for who the fuck is saucy
Anonymous

So I was wondering if you think that a cheater will ever change? I helped this guy kinda cheat on his girlfriend but now we're together, will he cheat on me farther down the road? Would really like your input on this. Ballsack you <3 , you're doing a great thing here and seem to be helping a lot of people even though you're kinda douchy sometimes, no offense
Anonymous

lol youre a bitch for helping someone cheat, no offense. get ready for some reality . i'm confused; who is saucy and why is everyone freking out about them?
Anonymous

saucy is a brand (or type) of pizza sauce. everybody is just trolling and telling me that their pizza sauce is better than saucy. Wait, what the fuck do you even look like?
cocoalibido

Mick Jagger. no curb kicking for me. can i just agree with you? I'm a normal girl and i agree, (not to sound mean just honestly) you are really not all that special and hard to find. fuck i can name about ten guys that uses proper grammar, listens to the same kind of music, been through as much shit as you, clever as you, sexy as you, etc. bitches need to calm the fuck down its bothering me. if you can't find one guy as great as Jeremiah, you either don't have a concious awareness or you live in the middle of nowhere.
Anonymous

^ why is saucy so special, why does she get a chance to be with you when there are so many other girls you just overlook like nothing. do you know how much that kills?
Anonymous

my ask box is 99% grey faces. on another note, youre swooning over a guy who runs a couple blogs and professes his thoughts and opinions on the internet. yes, you may like my taste in music, think Im clever or like my responses. but there are thousands of guys like me out there. guys that you felines overlook on a daily basis. people liked me in school but they didnt worship me like some out of proportioned god. proving that, given time to respond to things and think of the right thing to say before I post it on the internet, I really

can put up a front. I could be just another jackass with a fetish for followers. so stop your ludacris fantasies and just enjoy the communion yo. i would be better for you than saucy and i will prove it to you someday. she's a great girl and whatever, and she's pretty, but panic at the disco and the fray? really? i would be everything you ever wanted and more, and i would never take a guy like you for granted, ever.
Anonymous

chill out. have you ever faked an anon? honestly

Anonymous

I faked this one.

Your use of proper grammar turns me on.

Anonymous

o thx i wuz hoping sum1 wood notice tht To that anon who thinks they're so much better than saucy: Relationships aren't about how far away you are from each other, it's about how much you care for one another. You could live next door and it would work out just as good or bad as it would if you were a nation apart. My fiance is in OH, and I live in CA. It doesnt matter if youd move or not! That just means better times when you are actually together. It also means that youre a self absorbed anon with no respect for real relationships.
ixyra

Your fiance and I should hang out. hahahahahaha that girl who thinks shes as pretty as saucy. im a girl and even i realize no one is as pretty as saucy. yall sit down.
Anonymous

Please tell me you are a Boondock Saints fan...

Anonymous

*violently nods head in agreement* i could be so much better for you than saucy. i have better taste in music, i'm just as pretty, i'm obsessed with fight club/brad pitt, and i would move to ohio in a heartbeat for you instead of doing the long distance thing
Anonymous

youre anonymous artard. plus this isnt a dating website. I like long walks on the beach too.

do the chickens have large talons?

Anonymous

six dollars.. thats like a dollar an hour! She doesn't even go here!
Anonymous

Some girls thought I was lying about being a virgin. But its not my fault I have a heavy flow and a wide -set vagina. that awkward moment whenyour crushing a blog with a icon of a kitten.
Anonymous

that awkward moment when fuck you kittens are awesome. Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day.
Anonymous

So is it wrong to find your cousin attractive?

Anonymous

We had to get a restraining order on my aunt because she wanted to bang me. She was younger than me though. But no. Probably shouldnt act on it. I mean, youre stuck seeing them at every family gathering for the rest of your life. awk.

That awkward moment someone you don't know is in love with you, ahahahahah.
Anonymous

Some girl sent me a box labeled virginity. OH MY GOD LOVE ADDICT IS ON YOUR PLAYLIST ON THE SIDE you're my new favorite person. ever.
Anonymous

HOLLD UP. WAIT A MINUTE. PUT A LITTLE LOVE IN IT. *budududdhshsnsududshsdndusdhsudn* What's wrong with her? She's not me. That's what's wrong. I'll admit it. I'm jealous over this whole thing. She gets the amazing guy that's loyal and crazy as shit, and I don't. Every time you come up on my dash, I just start hating you, all because you have something I don't (happiness). But because of everything else you post, and the fact that you've saved my life (twice now), I just can't unfollow you.
Anonymous

wow. Thats a lot to process.

don't you hate it when you're trying to masturbate but random things keep coming into your head that are not sex-related and distract you
Anonymous

like those ads on the side of the porn videos that show a 10 foot penis trying to sell you pills? yeah. I completely want to unfollow you because of saucy, but your posts are so amazing that I can't. I hate you for that. But love you at the same the time. What the fuck is wrong with me?
Anonymous

why? whats wrong with her?

new playlist I just threw together. holler.

2 MONTHS AGO
Riddle me this: If <3 = ballsack, what does </3 mean?
Anonymous

7 NOTES

neutered.

Random Question: Are you going to participate in No-Shave November?

Anonymous

yes. would you like progress photos?

at hooters: can i get two chicken breasts hold the chicken?

Anonymous

I miss seeing an actual pic of you in my dash because some of the more serious questions/answers look so awkward with teh kitteh. XD Because of said kitteh, I hear a squeakish guy's voice.
Anonymous

hahah. Im on it. OH MY GOSH. YOU JUST INTRODUCED ME TO CTRL+F. MY WEB-BROWSING LIFE HAS NOW TAKEN ON A WHOLE NEW LEVEL OF COMPLETENESS.
Anonymous

If the girl you were with wanted to wait until marriage to have sex, would you wait for her or move on? You say virginity is attractive and all, but you're also a very sexual person.
Anonymous

I would wait a lifetime for someone I loved. and the cheesiest answer of the day goes to.. I have a question for the folks on now Is there really such a thing as masturbating too much?
redheadellie

when my penis met my hand for the first time, I did it 20+ times in a day. Shot so many blanks. hi mom and dad. If you met a girl you really liked and she was a virgin would you care?
Anonymous

You have some scrolling to do. ctrl+f is your new best friend. Is it gross/ unattractive if a girl gags or makes weird noises when giving head?
femilyisbeastest

yeah it seems like it should be hot because its like oh yeah look how hard it is to take all those inches. But for some reason, its not. its just like.. wtf is that noise haha.

It hurts like shit when you know your bf flirts with girls when you're not around... I remember you posted on maleminded something like "I act as if you're always by my side". Wish other people did as well. I'm sorry, but it makes me really upset, I just needed to let ir out.
Anonymous

fuck that feeling. if a guy is about to start a conversation with you on chat, and then erases what he was going to say does it mean he might be falling for you? by you i mean me, and i'm very excited here.
Anonymous

You need to calm down and stop looking so far into things. js. will a guy ever not text a girl cause he's waiting to see if she'll text him first?
Anonymous

all the time. Everybodys experienced the fuck I shouldn t have texted that because now I look like a desperate tampon effect when the other person doesnt text back for hours. We try and avoid it at all costs. The odds of saying the wrong thing are zero when you say nothing at all. hey thats a song. Do you listen Incubus?
Anonymous

hell to the yeah So, I'm a girl and I like hooking up with girls. I would never date a girl, I just think they're hot and fun to hook up with. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and my best girlfriend has been with her boyfriend for a little less. She and I make out when we're drunk from time to time. She does it because her boyfriend loves it, I do it cause I think it's enjoyable. Id go further if she'd let me. (I don't mind her using me for attention). But my boyfriend has asked me to stop. Why?
Anonymous

Oh the coincidences but, um. Because it means sharing you. Personal experience here. my mom and me were scrolling down my dashboard and she happened to read your post when you're like "swallow it because you want it" or something like that. thanks for those moments of awkwardness.
Anonymous

you were asking for it haha. scrolling tumblr with your mother is like going to hooters for the chicken wings. Do guys ever change when they get into a serious relationship? like i know if they're not douchebags they'll try to not cheat but what about the small stuff? like staring at a 'hotter' girl or flirting when the girlfriend isn't around? I love my boyfriend but i can't stop thinking about this shit, if it stops or even decreases? (I'd really appreciate an answer, love your tumblrs)
Anonymous

With the age demographic of this blog, (highschool/college age) Id say the loyalty of a guys eyes is directly related to how stable the relationship is. Or just how he feels about it. Real men are loyal in every way possible regardless of the condition of their relationship with their woman. But while he may not be perfect, you cant expect him to be. Im sure youve snuck a peek or two. Were all human. I just want to say that I love all of your pages and all the things you do for your followers. Judging from the responses you get and your posts, you are a very knowledgeable young man with wisdom beyond his age and many people, including myself, appreciate what you do. Keep it up.
Anonymous

Thank you I dont know how else to respond. But these are satisfying to read.

I'm 20, my bf is 27. We live together. We regularly go a month at a time without boning and I'm losing my FUCKING MIND. Is it just because he's older? I'm afraid to ask if it's a problem with me because I don't want to sound like a little annoying bitch; there are other dudes in the picture that have made it clear that they'd make sweet monkey love to me all day everyday & they're my age. I've been with this guy a year, love him, and would never cheat. wtf help.
Anonymous

What I would do is just hold out. Any normal man couldnt take that for long. The playing -hard-to-get technique just triggers a normal response in everyone. We want what we cant have. Just dont throw yourself all over him for awhile. Itll be hard (nice pun, eh?) but just try. At the age of 27 I would hope my sex life to not even be half-over. "Swallow my man juice because you want it"
Anonymous

way to make me re-read that. Now I have to go delete it out of awkwardness. thankyou for introducing me to young the giant. fucking amazing. im feeling sad today and listening to them has really made me feel better. kudos and brownie points and hugs all around.
Anonymous

Im listening to them right now :D I Got is amazing. Well at least the chorus is really really good. I'm going to keep asking this until I get an answer lol. I'm just really curious as to why guys like for us girls to swallow.
Anonymous

Because its such a dominating feeling. If I had to express it in words, its just like oh fuck yes, take it. swallow my man juice because you want it ..that was super odd. but even the thought of just laying there while a woman swallows the cum out of your cock is just unbelievably hot. do your best to imagine. i miss who you used to be
Anonymous

me too :( what happened? I feel like you pretend to be all nice on here, but then in reality you're just as much of a dick as every other guy.
Anonymous

I feel my dick in real life if that counts. do you longboard? you seem like the type to
Anonymous

yes Please post less of the... inappropriate pics. I really like your blog but they bother me. :)
Anonymous

northamerifuck?
Anonymous

http://northamerifuck.tumblr.com/

Im starting to color-code on mozd. starting with b&w. so a color per page. good idea?
2 MONTHS AGO 38 NOTES

You seem like a pretty cool guy but judging from northamerifuck, you are an un-American fucktard.
Anonymous

cool? What is so attractive about saucydossy? Does she have a good personality?
Anonymous

Everything. And obviously.

lol damn you got me. i'm so offended by you calling me stupid for speaking the truth. if that makes me stupid, then i'm perfectly fine with being the dumbest bitch in the world.
Anonymous

mr. anon, you are stupid for judging others and believing that it is your right or duty to point out the wrong doing in others lives. Simply doing that is a sin itself. You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brothers eye. -Matthew 7:5 lol damn i did get you. Just saw the band posts. Do you like/have you ever heard of Coconut Records or Dear and the Headlights
Anonymous

Im in love with coconut records. dear and the headlights I have yet to listen to. In regards to pornography: Sure, the naked people you like looking at are hot But so is hell. oh shit what are you going to do now bitches.
Anonymous

youre fucking stupid. im a girl and i have no idea what to do on top during sex... any advice?
Anonymous

Not sure if you screen capped that to make me look like a prick or because its kind of funny. But I'm still flattered either way.
canimuff

hahahhaa I laughed my fucking ass off.

it's halloween, everyone is out having fun. and here I am, sitting in front of my computer ,asking questions to tumblr people.
h-anz

its halloween, everyone is out having fun. and here I am, sitting in front of my computer, asnwering questions to tumblr people.

do you like two door cinema club?

Anonymous

How about Paramore, the Fray and the Script? Do you like those bands?
own-damn-way

paramore. the other two are just no.

I really like Decode by Paramore Panic! at the disco is an amazing band, dick fuck.
Anonymous

Im feeling very...lonely. Like I just cant go on.

Anonymous

it sucks. makes you feel like whats the point. heres a little comfort in knowing that Im where you are all the time. I love you for loving Young the Giant oh my god thank you for spreading the love. They deserve more fans then frigging U2 and Coldplay combined. And by the way do you like the band Muse?

john-isner

coldplay > ytg. sorry haha. Ive been a coldplay fan since I could recollect audible music. but yes muse is amazing. exogenesis part 1 is orgasmic. I want to live my last 3 minutes on earth to the sound of that song.

These girls need to get creative. gamecube or xbox controllers w/ vibrate setting on. hair brush(the handle obvsly), electric toothbrush, shower head, their fingers(that's messy but it's always nice to explore yourself and better than nothing~) etc.
Anonymous

lol the handle? the fuck are you smokin. I like to stick those bristles up my snatch like there was no tomorrow, honey. I was at the mall today, and these 3 chicks infront of me were talking about your blog. I told them i knew you personally, and 1 of them gave me her number and just sent me a nude.. Dude i love you.
Anonymous

this guy. right here. just randomly use Linkin Park references or are you going to start using them all the time?
Anonymous

sometimes solutions arent so simple, so I just insert a linkin park reference and leave out all the rest. I just wanted to say I know how you feel about the bad relationship with your parents. I'm currently living in another country and haven't even gotten an email in months. I was super depressed in high school, and was trying to drink away everything that hurt. One time my little sister walked in on me throwing up after a binge, and she ran to get my parents, who left me passed out on the bathroom floor. It was my brother who put me back in bed. I just feel lucky to have had such awesome siblings.
Anonymous

go team. its the ordinary people amidst the horrible ones that are extrordinary. Is it wrong that I'm using all the girl's masturbation tricks to fap?
Anonymous

the only thing youre doing wrong is having doubt that youre the only one. How would you react if you knew your parents saw this current blog?
Anonymous

I wouldnt really. Id be like oh thats. awkward. but theyve both seen enough of me and have both been completely separated from my life for enough time that, in the end, it doesnt even matter. the only thing that they despise are my linkin park references. whats your fave thing to do to get off? and whats your fave way to masturbate?
Anonymous

oh god the things I do. sounds like a dr seuss book. certain things I will only confess to my significant other. but one thing i do is I flex my quads as hard as I fucking can. idk why, but it helps but it makes it that much more intense. um I also fuckin open my mouth in a way thats like flexing my jaw as I rear my head back. I feel like if I were a girl itd be pretty erotic to watc h the guy version of me beat one off. holy shit that got intimate. hi mom and dad. i just saw all the posts about the electric toothbrush. and i had to try. yes. just yessss.
Anonymous

that was quick i personally prefer scissors up the ass

Anonymous

and I thought I was the only one One of my favorite ways to masturbate is to hump a pillow or stuffed animal. Incredible orgasm.
Anonymous

simbaaaaa I personally prefer the hand held back massager to the electric toothbrush or the awkward tub situation. But you could also try manually.
Anonymous

.__. i swear to god, i was going to suggest an electric toothbrush...but some girl beat me to it. best shit EVER. i haven't even looked at a shower head since i discovered them
Anonymous

.___. Because of you I purchased yoga pants. I have an incredible ass because I run everyday (sorry to sound conceited) but I expect your advice to get me laid tonight. Kay thanks for being so awesome bai. PS if I get pregnant you are triply indirectly responsible for my baby cause Im using your clothes and sex tips. also Im gonna use your rough sex playlist. I love you (ballsack)
Anonymous

oh my

To the anon talking about her shower head: step 1) take a bath. 2) prop legs up on either sides of faucet like your giving birth. 3) turn on water and angle yourself so that the water hits you in the right um, place. 4) enjoy.
wossorlehcar

from one anon to another, electric toothbrushes with a clean brush head are the best things ever.
Anonymous

just gonna publish these Just curious, how would you go about complimenting a girl's butt? My guy friend randomly said I have a "fat ass" and I thought he was just joking around with me and his friends. But then the guy I'm interested in said I have a big butt and he said it way too casually that I almost missed it. So now... I feel self conscious as fuck. idk if I should take it as an insult/compliment. It's just weird to think that they look at all because I'm not the kind of girl guys go after.
Anonymous

I think that unless he hates you and just wants to degrade you, any guy that says anything that admits he was looking at your ass probably wants a piece. but lets be honest. you have a mirror. you should be able to have an idea on wether your booty is on the good or bad side. Jeremiah my mom's going to leave me no other choice than lose my virginity. She got rid of the shower head. The new one doesn't have any settings and it's mounted into the wall. Plan C ain't working with me.
Anonymous

get a ladder, a hand held back massager, or an xbox along with a first person shooter. turn on the vibrate setting. why did you delete the pic you just reblogged that was kinda pornographic? lol
Anonymous

it looked bad sitting there next to starving people in africa.

Are you Northamerifuck?

Anonymous

yes

I need something to distract me from my homework.... update Northamerifuck please.<3

Anonymous

im on it

lmao I love your use of that Seth Rogen and Paul Rudd picture when you said you love Coldplay. I just hope I'm not the only one who gets the reference.
pantherpayaso

it barely got 3 notes. my followers are so disappointing sometimes

If you like Lord of The Rings, you're officially the fittest guy on earth.
Anonymous

youre clearly british. the lord of the rings is bamf Is the Kitten name supposed to stand for Baller, Original Gangster? Cause that's what I got out of it..
lexusiloveyou

lord of the rings

I need a name for a kitten! Help!

Anonymous

balrog

panic at the disco is like, almost as bad as death cab for cutie. it's just.. painful. coldplay on the other hand.. they've saved my life. so I'm right up there with you on that
xxoxer

I think their ovaries are just a little excited for brendon urie. but yes. we are the same. I grew up on coldplay. does it bother you that saucydossy has terrible taste in music, i mean panic at the disco and coldplay LOLLLLLLL
Anonymous

i honestly cant last 15 seconds through a panic at the disco so ng. but i love coldplay. fuck.

Holy hell. I just listened to young the giant for the first time and I swear you have turned homosexual.
Anonymous

if homosexuals love beautiful music then im a fucking flamer. whats your favorite type of sex?
Anonymous

spontaneous holy hell. just listened to "my body" by young the giant. music-gasm much?
Anonymous

holy hell. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPUcP3k3CMY&feature=relmfu

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAsTlnjvetI&feature=related props to you. you've officially made me addicted to maleminded. brotips can suck my dick, and i'm a girl. you deserve a celebratory ballsack <3
Anonymous

i love those. btw. young the giant is an amazing band. you should go check them out. New Maleminded slide idea? I read the post where you talked about how you loved Alanah, and it sparked something. Simple slide: "Infatutation Love." But, then again, it's not exactly the same as your other posts. Whatever, keep up the awesome work. :D
jpdiv

thats really good! thanks. i will credit you. would you like that?

oh yeah, cause the owner of maleminded is really the next 40 year old virgin...
Anonymous

youve never kissed anyone? that actually surprises me so much

Anonymous

That's only because you have the QB physique. If you were a MLB like myself, you'd need more cushion for the pushin' xD
Anonymous

awwww yeah. But on behalf of QBs and offences everywhere. fuck you and people that play your position well.

I've scoured your blog for the post about how you'll always love Alanah in some way and I can't find it ._. Mind finding it for me and sending me the link? Please?
just-andy

ok a girl can look hot in the 200lbs range. but lookup Miss Anowa, she looks fit at 200lbs. i know thick isn't everybody's type but it doesn't mean you can't look good at a higher than normal weight.
Anonymous

yeah thats cool and all, but her fucking thigh is the size of my torso.

to the anon who thinks something is wrong with him for not having his first kiss yet: i regretfully lost my virginity when i was 14 and wish i waited as long as i could. because now sex is practically disposable. WAIT IF YOU CAN. sex will always be there. good, pure, meaningful sex is worth the wait.
Anonymous

my new dance move. its getting popular.

2 MONTHS AGO

76 NOTES

am i a loser if i'm 15 and havnt gotten my first kiss yet, while my other friends are pretty much having sex already?
Anonymous

no. dear god no. I don't know why, but when I read your post on why you still love your ex, it kind of sort of got me a teary and made my heart drop.
Anonymous

trufax

My biggest secret is that I am scared I'll always be alone, because I'm not the type of girl that guys fall in love with. I don't tell my friends and the people who know me because I'm afraid they'll think I'm pathetic and desperate. So I'm telling you. Thanks for listening:)
Anonymous

no problem. But guess what? thats everybodys fear. its funny; youre not alone in your fear of being alone. Or wear lots of jackets and keep on taking them off?
Anonymous

thats what I was thinking. holla new dance move: brad pitt taking his jacket off
Anonymous

FUCK yes. but what happens after the jacket comes off? do we put it back on and just start over again?

So, this blog is mainly funny asks and gifs?

Anonymous

no. it has massive mood swings.

what do your friends call you? jer? miah?

Anonymous

guys call me: j jeremiah my family and very close friends call me: miah girls call me: jer bear miah jmiah fucking asshole tight end. lol.
Anonymous

What position did you play?

creative-url-zac-made-up

qb and some tight end. Wait, what do you think of football then?
Anonymous

it was a joke. but I used to play football so. Wait... YOU are Maleminded!?
Anonymous

Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696 Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433 LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255 Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743 Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438 Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673 Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272 Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000 After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253 (via northamerifuck)

2 MONTHS AGO

152,270 NOTES

Im about to send you the most random shit ever

Anonymous

i need to start making youtube videos of me opening mail if i send you a letter or some cool shit and i don't want you to tell anyone or show anyone, can i trust that you won't? even if i'm on the other side of the world and i've never met you in my life? are you a cool dude like that...? lol
Anonymous

YES/ what the hell would I get out of being a dick to someone whos sending me free things? no hate, im glad you gotcha self a fine piece of ass but jussayin you always say that fuck buddys is a bad idea.... :/
Anonymous

it is. dont worry theres more to it than that. it sounds crazy, but there are in fact things I dont share with everybody on tumblr:]

I've read every post on 4 of your well-known sites (all but autovisual). I'd like to thank you for everything you do for strangers. Without this blog, I'd never know how many other people are out there like me. One of the posts I read was about someone being molested by their older brother. I thought I was the only one. My brother and I were both in elementary school while it was going on so I still don't understand why it happened. It was comforting to know that I wasn't the only one (ballsack)
Anonymous

My roommate is cheating on her long distance boyfriend. I've lost all respect for the bitch and am wondering if I should tell her boyfriend. I now it's not my place, but I'm so tired of listening to her fuck. This has been going on for 2 weeks now, almost every other night. She knows me and our other roommate now, yet she won't admit it verbally and continues to talk about how she cares about her boyfriend back home. Any advice or should I just punch the cunt in the throat?
Anonymous

I think you should tell him. because youd be saving that guy a lot of time worrying about this bitch in the future. but, if you can, coordinate with him and see if you can get it to look like he found out from someone else. fuck that cunt though. what a fucking bitch. you should rub poison ivy into her sheets one night. just sayin.

i envy you. ur fuck buddy is a fucken BABE!

Anonymous

Is saucydossy seriously your fuck buddy?

Anonymous

detailed tips on how to give good head pls?

Anonymous

Ok so first things firstThe best thing would be, being able to deep throat. Hence, not having a gag reflex. So you either have that ability or you dont. Some are so fortunate ;) But little things you can do to help would be to tease him, first of all. Not too much because then it gets old. But kiss and put your tongue all along the base, sides, and tip and then eventually put his dick about half way in your mouth, but not all the way, and then go back up to the tip, twirling your lips in circles around it as you come up. Then proceed to focus on just the tip. Repeat for a while and then when you feel its time, go for the gold. By this, of course I mean, take his dick all the way in your mouth and down your throat, as far as you can. If you dont have a gag reflex, then this is what you will be best at an d your man will thank you, and be sure to return the favor. Continue to go up and down, again swirling your tongue around as you come up. And please, PLEASE, DONT use your teeth, but DO use your lips, . They arent there for just kissing.

Eventually, when its wet enough, add your hand into the motion of your mouth going up and down. Remember, put as much his dick in your mouth and down your throat as you can. If you can go all the way down, so your lips are able to touch the base, then you are a champ. While using your hand, make sure that you dont just move your hand up and down like a normal hand job. Twist it around and use pressure. Not too much though. Another tip would be, as you are coming up theshaft (hate that word)suck. hard. Pull with your lips and suck as you come up and make sure when you get to the tip you tongue the fuck out of it. One last tip that I know is guaranteed to make some kind of noise come out of your mans mouth when you do it is if you are able to deep throat, and get your li ps to touch the base, shake your head back and forth while his dick is in your throat. He will love it. I promise. *if he likes it, dont leave his balls lonely. If he isnt sure if he likes it, he will. Im sure of it.* Have fun and youre welcome ;) -a friend of mine I AM SO BORED RIGHT NOW PLEASEANSWER A TON OF QUESTIONS TO KEEP ME ENTERTAINED
poison-oakk

k im about to answer a doozy

do you prefer spitting or swallowing when a girl gives you a blowjob?

Anonymous

Are you kidding? Watched Fight Club yesterday, mind blown. Do you know any other movies like it?
Anonymous

snatch american history x memento wanted I'm a girl, and I had never sat down and watched porn before. Thanks to some of your answers and gifs, I went to pornhub and let's just say, thank you.
Anonymous

god forgive me.. I was sexting with my boyfriend and then he replied "oops! premature! goodnight!" and went to sleep. :(
Anonymous

I want to meet that man and shake his hand. shit fuck damn cock bitch cunt ass ho. im pissed. i dont want to go to sleep in a crabby ass mood. suggestions? like, is there anything that really cheers you up when your pissed?
Anonymous

take two waffles. put them both in the toaster. while the toaster is doing its thing, take out the nutella. then go to the fridge and take out the jelly. once the waffles pop out, apply generous amounts of nutella to one side and jelly to the other. place waffles together creating a sandwich. eat. cum. I'm a straight girl and I watch porn quite frequently, seeing as my boyfriend lives an hour away. I know he watches it (what a surprise, he's a dude) and I guess I'm fine with it, but I don't know if I should tell him that I do. It hasn't ever really come up so it's not like I've lied about it, but how would you react if your girlfriend told you she watches porn?
Anonymous

have a sleepover with you, me and the computer. :D jeremiah, youve gotten me through so much. i love you, man, and i never even met you. keep on doing what youre doing, you will have a special reward in heaven for all the lives youve saved (including mine)
Anonymous

do you go to church?
a-d-r-i-f-t

no

watching porn is not a big deal. i'm a girl and i watch it all the time. i'm straight but i can watch girl on girl alllllll day.
Anonymous

I know so many girls like you. females need to calm their mammary glands. I'm curious as to you're views on G-d and religious, just because you seem like you actually contemplated the whole concept, and aren't simply brainwashed and blindly following what others tell you.
blackheartwhitesoul

honestly, it wasnt about choosing the best religion, it was about choosing the least improbable one. think about anything long enough and it all seems fucking crazy. how can christians think theyre right when, even though they may proclaim it, 90% of them would never die for their faith. and you see muslims begging to sacrifice their lives in the name of theirs. churches are filled with hypocrites and and self-righteous bitches and I despise it. I am a christian not because I was raised that way or Im just trying to save my ass, Im a christian because, out of everything Ive seen, it makes the most sense. not the self -righteous ass wipes who treat it like a cult. you can make anything sound bat-shit crazy. and, if I wanted to, Im sure I could persuade myself to believe anything. It's a big deal if your dad watches porn? o.o Why.
Anonymous

I watch porn with my dad. wannafightabout it? Ok, so in my religion class we learned about this guy named Jeremiah, and he was this prophet and he was called the Prophet of Truth because he told people the truth bluntly even if it wasn't what they wanted to hear. I was like woah, sounds like Jeremiah! :)
sofarsogood

ah yes the weeping prophet. dont even get me started on religion haha ive read the entire bible over 10 times. -_soo I found out that my dad has been watching porn. he doesn't know that I know, and my mom obviously doesn't know either. what do I do. please help me jeremiah:(
Anonymous

oh shit. the right thing to do: confront him and tell him to stop and then give him a chance to either do so or tell your mom. the thing I would do: have a massive party at your house and when he finds out, blackmail that motherfucker.

I have an entire folder of awesome gifs I never have the opportunity to use. Would you like them?
Anonymous

yes please malemindedtumblr@gmail.com

sex tickles. is that normal?

Anonymous

*at court* I was just tickling her, your honor. -your creepy-ass uncle. Im gonna finger bang bang you into my life
Anonymous

I love followers like this.

Is it your life goal to answer all your important, non-hate msgs in your ask? or....
Anonymous

I answer all my hate messages. i dont get a lot. but, god I relish those. Because you have so many questions, I feel stupid and inconsiderate to even ask you advice about my life. My problems seem so trivial in comparison to everyone else's...
Anonymous

the cool thing is knowing that I read each and every one. Even though they may never get a response on my blog, theyve been heard.

I just woke up from the fifth lesbian dream about my best friend this week...what should I do? It's hott but I shouldn't be getting horny from my best friend.
Anonymous

Yes you should. Life if short. 97% of the time, reading your blog makes me horny. No means of satisfying myself, human or otherwise. Fuck you, sir.
Anonymous

and fuck me hard

fingerbang?
Anonymous

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dY3UGZBw_iI im a guy and i always wondered you have a man-crush on brad pitt. i mean i know he's good lookin' and all... but then i just finished watching an interview with him and oprah. ima belieeva
Anonymous

i couldnt leave her if i trieeeeed out of your personal experience, what do you think feels better for a girl? getting fingered or eaten out?
Anonymous

fingering if you know how to do it right. eating her out is a relatively easy way to make her feel amazing. but if you want to make her legs shake and keep her coming back for more, youre gonna have to go inside. but dont fingerbang. never fingerbang. Are these grades good: 96, 91, 93, 85, 98, 95, 95? Cause my stepmom said I need to do better.
Anonymous

your step moms just mad that your mom got in your dads pants before she did. -personal experience. this isn't a question, but I agree with you on the chubby > skinny. Girls look hot/pretty/cute no matter how much they weight, if a girl looks good, she'll look good at 120 and at 240, doesn't matter. Why other guys are so shallow is beyond me.
101onbeingme

then call me shallow because I would not enjoy mating with a 240lb woman.

you're gonna need to tell me how to get pokemon on my ipod. as in, right now
her-white-blank-page

youuuu have to jailbreak it. Ill post some screen shots :D i always ask you stuff and you never reply
Anonymous

anyone else love popping zits/blackheads?

2 MONTHS AGO
best cure for a headache?
Anonymous

162 NOTES

Theres a pressure point between your index finger and your thumb right where the muscle is. Squeeze it as hard as you can. The left hand will relieve pressure on the right side of the brain and vice/versa. If it hurts your hand then youre squeezing in the wrong spot. You should be able to squeeze as hard as you possibly can and it shouldnt hurt at all. Ive been doing this for as long as I can remember. It works. Youre welcome. Hitler probably would have hated me. Thanks for bringing it up. :(
thekylemeeder

HHAHAHHahahahaa sorry kyle. I meant this mofo:

does alannah hate saucy

Anonymous

does hitler hate kyle? my roommate and i have been debating this and can't come to a conclusion: can our boyfriends see our assholes when we're doing it doggy style? or do their bodies block it?
goodtimingsarahgibson

yes its as visible as a tramp stamp remember that whole "prone to mood swings" deal on your urban dictionary definition? you're in a shitty mood tonight, it would seem.
Anonymous

Im great :D just masturbated. Am I the only one that gets you'd rather be with a girl that doesn't put out than be with one that puts out to anyone with a dick?
dblej

I sure hope not. LOL to that person. there's a difference between a chubby girl and a morbidly obese girl. nobody over 200 pounds is at a healthy weight, sorry. the whole curvy girl debate is that curvy girls are healthier, 240 pounds isn't healthy.
Anonymous

that guy was kissing so much ass that his nose lost its virginity. Ah work out nigga. Why is always the girl that has to be right for you. If i said that i wanted a strong muscular guy so he can "throw me around" i would be seen as a shallow bitch.
isuckatcomingupwithurls

no you wouldnt. I would love a girl that was like dude, get some muscle on that body because I want you to fuck me and fuck me hard. I would promptly spend the next 24 hour s in a gym. Do guys honestly care what a girl's vagina looks like? I feel self conscious about mine, which has partially held me back from getting really intimate with a guy (more so my morals, but whatev.)
Anonymous

youre probably over-thinking it. unless it vaguely resembles jabbas butt crack or smells like sin, youll be fine. personally, I spend more time with my tongue inside and around her pussy than I do just staring it down. lol Fuck you. You don't see to be the "any girl" kind of guy.
Anonymous

no fuck you. this isnt self-esteem corner. if you want sugar-coated answers go talk to your mother. I'm sorry, but you don't seem to be the kind of guy that likes any size girl, prude or not. You seem like the skinny bitches kind of guy.
Anonymous

no fuck that. I want something to grab. but I also want to be able to throw her around. if that makes sense. but if I had to choose, chubby > really skinny

heavier girl and slut, or skinny girl and prude?

Anonymous

any girl and a prude I just joined the fight club in my town. So underground.
Anonymous

way to break the first two rules

Love for fight club is what determines my love for the person.
Anonymous

your gif made me extremely horny.. and my boyfriend isn't here. thanks lol. Guess I gotta go for plan B.. Shit I got no batteries ! Okay Plan C manual.
Anonymous

HAhahahahaa Do you ever reply to messages privately? Jw!

sweetgraciemarie

at least 60% of my answers are private haha I've never asked you anything before. I have so much on my mind and sometimes it feels like no one wants to listen. Thanks for always being here, for everyone who has asked you something and if I need you in the future.

Anonymous

100% of your asks have been posted.

and of course.

tits or ass?
Anonymous

Northamerifuck is amazing. I think its my favorite blog. Ever. Congratulations. oh, and I love every one of your blogs. fuck, I think I love you.
Anonymous

if i could keep any of my blogs and had to delete the rest, I would keep that one. I feel like I should put it on my college application as an art project or something If you dont mind me asking, like you said you've lived in other houses right? because your parent and step parent kicked you out right? did your mom at least call up to check on how you were? was she even the slightest dependent on where you were, how you were, your school info?
Anonymous

she and all family were completely out of my life for years. It was the help of friends and God that got me through. oh and my amazing skill at making parents adore the fuck out of me. woopwoop. Justin Bieber has millions of girls drooling over him plus he has an amazingly hot girlfriend so you have to at least give him some props.

Anonymous

justin bieber: turning little girls lesbian since 1999. I like Justin Bieber. Please don't hate me Jeremiah.
letsmakeitaboutme

so i have a stepmom and we have a terrible relationship and alll i wanna do is get away from her. i know you maybe had a similar relationship with your stepdad and i just want to know if going away to college is as big of a relief as im expecting. was it for you?
Anonymous

HA. both of my step parents are fucking insane. every second away from them is paradise. You have great taste in music. I listened to a couple of your playlists and I must say, I'm surprised. I thought I was the only other being on this planet that doesn't enjoy the mindless raps of Drake and the piercing voice of Justin Bieber. Plus, you did a great job of helping me with procrastinating. I just spent two hours on your blog. I feel like a fucking stalker. & btw. Hair pulling during sex > anything else with the exception of Brad Pitt, pre-beard. With love, kisses and a blowjob.
Anonymous

I literally said OH MY GOD I KNOW out loud while reading this. get the FUCK off of anon.

I'm a vigin and lol after reading your blog, the boy who gets me first is going to be astounded at my knowledge.
Anonymous

hehe ten dollars says you won't post this.

sh3lter-deactivated20111205-dea

BOOM BITCH been following you for months now and the order of your posts STILL confuses me. That one by masseyp has been top left for hours but more posts are being added pleaase explain
Anonymous

hahaha sometimes when Im in class or cant sleep I just answer ques tions on my ipod. since the tumblr app is messed up, it just fucks around when ish gets posted. like Ill answer something and itll be like posted in 3 hours. then itll just chill there on the top for three hours. how tall are you?
Anonymous

63

"my hair was made to be gripped and pulled like fuck. there are few things hotter." that was your hottest comment so far unf. how old are you? *please be over 20 so i dont feel guilty*
Anonymous

9 I started following your blog "MaleMinded" since roughly your 3rd post and i remember you posting a picture of yourself and i just wanted to verify to anyone who is wondering, yes, he is a total babe.
Anonymous

woah. 3rd post status. respect. I know you like Mustang GT's, but what are your thoughts on 1984 Porsche 944 series?
Anonymous

I almost bought one before my mustang because theyre cheap, badass and in a lot of 80s movies.

idk what chicks she's talking about, i love having my hair pulled
Anonymous

I'd date the shit out of you. Fuck the haters. (no homo)
masseyp

can I suck on your penis and gargle your semen? (no homo) I'm a straight guy and I enjoy gagging myself with my toothbrush. problem?
Anonymous

Im a straight guy and have a crush on brad pitt. problem? i dont know what that one anon was talking about but as a girl i love when my hair gets pulled back when I'm going down on a guy.
Anonymous

Most chicks hate having their head pushed/hair pulled while giving oral, is it the opposite for guys?
Anonymous

my hair was made to be gripped and pulled like fuck. there are few things hotter.

If I send you 50 bucks will you buy a hooker with it, and instead of having sex with her, sit in the hotel room and play board games?
cunttwat

wait have I been doing it wrong this whole fucking time? goddammit. You rarely misspell things but in your lasts posts you've written IF instead of OF like three times. Not criticising or anything, just saying.
lifeisoveralltoosoon

Im on my iPod haha hop off my dick. or dont. Id probably enjoy that. can you help me analyze this dream? (backstory: im 17 and very innocent and i have this neighbor who thinks he likes me) so i am at the beach sitting near the water on these rocks. everyone around me is

hooking up and i am sitting on a rock with my neighbor wearing my favorite sweater. so he says to me "want to do something sexual?" and i was like "idk kinda" so he gets closer to me and suddenly the idea of my sweater coming off made me upset so i said "stop stop im scared!" and that woke me up
Anonymous

you are HIV positive. and pregnant. you will attempt an abortion but your baby will burst through your stomach wall holding a blow torch screaming SEY HELLO TO MAH LITTLE FRIEND. his name will be titler and will be the cause if world war 3 by exterminating all the boobies and tits of the land. congratulations. does race really matter when it comes to dating? like would you prefer dating a caucasian girl over an asian, or african american
Anonymous

eskimos make me wet. if my girl ever shouted your name while we're in bed, i'd likely high five her. just saying. Respect.
Anonymous

ask of the week are you and your ex back together!?

Anonymous

lol no shes whoring around in college. i snort oxy, pop xanax, drink lean, and smoke weed. i stopped ocne for a girl, but me and her didn't work out, and i just got tempted to get back into drugs after she left me. mainly just weed and lean, but every so often oxy, and xanax. i know it's weak of me and shit, but sometimes it's the only thing that fights my depression, you feel me?
biggylittlez

I feel you like the pedo bear feels an underage butt hole. fat girls are submitting....would it be rude to rate them fat/10?
masseyp

HAHAHAHhahahahaah Im crying. its horrible but im laughing so goddamn hard. Why do you sound so hot? It's scary because you could be a fat lady named George, for all I know.
Anonymous

nope. this is patrick .____. My boyfriend is making me wait till I'm 18 to lose my virginity to him. He's 23 and I'm 17. Do you give him props for making me wait?
Anonymous

no because jail definitely has something to do with it

So i lost my virginity yesterday to a man I love. I am only 16 but I have no regrets. You say virginity is a turn on. Does that mean in the future if things don't work out with this boy that I will be hard to want? I really don't want that to happen.
Anonymous

no. what Im about to tell you is extremely cheezy yet extremely true: once youve met the right person, EVERY last thing you thought you could never deal with/handle about a person becomes so bearable that you will forget you hated it in the first place. a persons flaws become obsolete when what you love about that person completely drowns them out. not that virginity is a flaw, but to the right person, it wouldnt ever matter. they say that an independent girl is attractive, is there ever a point to where it's not, like it gets annoying? Because I like to think of myself as an independent girl(being a 19 year old girl with my own place, paying my own way through school/bills, going to school, hates people paying for her and with a full time managerial job) but I'm slightly afraid that guys think it's weird or annoying or even a bit intimidating.
Anonymous

I jut got a little turned on. capability, intelligence and maturity are always attractive. you seem to have it all and youre fine as long as you let him open doors for you, treat you to places, and be dominating in bed haha. you still have to let him be the man. oh, and immaturity is fun too. for me, you gotta know when to just chillax and graffitti a penis onto the wall of a sperm bank. I dont even have a tumblr but I randomly found your site yesterday and read through the entire thing in one sitting. It was completely enthralling the way you just listen. Thats so rare nowadays. So many people are so busy and wrapped up in themselves that even life begins to pass them by. But your genuine concern and your snarky comments are enough to make anyone stop and appreciate even a brief moment in time. I hope I find a friend such as you one day. Thank you what you do for people here...
Anonymous

The fact that youve read every word is extremely impressive. If you can do that and enjoy it, we have a lot in common. And definitely missed out on being childhood friends. its awkward accepting compliments as generous as this one and therefore, I rarely post them. but this was very cool and genuine. so thank you. I really appreciate being congratulated on being a decent human being :D no sarcasm I promise. I hate that girls think that if they've never dated someone by 17 there is something wrong with them. I felt that way once, but I look back now and realize that no one cared, and that a ton of girls were just like me. Same goes with girls who think they are undesirable because they are virgins. Most guys have told me it's not a turnoff, and even a turn on. True or untrue?
Anonymous

nobody likes a gloryhole. virginity is attractive as fuck. unless youre 30. that shit is a sign. I love the new icon pic!!! It's fucking awesome.

Anonymous

dude what the fuck was that noise.

I'm 17 & I've never been in a relationship, or kissed, or even held hands with a guy. No one has ever asked me out on a date or even to a school dance. I feel like I'm too weird looking or weird in general and that I'll remain this way for the rest of my life. I try to be a nice girl but it doesn't matter because I still look like the people who everyone on tumblr posts pictures of when they are trying to make them feel better about themselves. What can I do to boost my self esteem?
Anonymous

give me your number. I will drive to you and love you down.

2 MONTHS AGO

26 NOTES

I wonder what would happen if you disabled the ask/submit feature on all of your blogs? I think the world would collapse into chaos. Love you, man. Hope everything is ok.
Anonymous

hahaha you too. everything is amazing. my weekend was the best Ive had in a long time

I ballsack you.
Anonymous

<3 you didnt reblog for a couple days, i missed you <3 was everything okay?

Anonymous

ill only be on for like 5 more minutes. its the weekend! nice ball sack btw

I have done so many screen shots of the asks you post, I could make an entire blog dedicated to them. I've saved nearly 250 and I've only been keeping it for like, two weeks.

Anonymous

MAKE THAT MOTHERFUCKING BLOG. lol i like how on tumblr you're the shit ,but on twitter you only have 14 followers.
Anonymous

thats not my twitter. someone just stole my logo. http://twitter.com/#!/kittensandmeth is my twitter. What the point of you being logged onto skype if you're on "do not disturb"?!?!?! That kinda defeats the point of being signed on doesn't it?
Anonymous

i just got out of the shower.

is miley cyrus hot?

Anonymous

she looks like a chipmunk. so. yes. I would have sex with you.
Anonymous

-my right hand. Do you ever shave your <3

Anonymous

I see that you help a lot people with different problems. Would you help me with my homework?
Anonymous

of course. You say "herp derp" all the damn time. Give it a rest, friend. <ballsack3
Anonymous

herp fuck you derp <3

jenniferlfisher

that is a ball sack. nice. Do you still love alannah?

Anonymous

of course. I would die for her but wasn't she the one who broke up with you....?
jenniferlfisher

yeah but i still love her. infatuation isnt love. i love her for who she is. not because she was my girlfriend, not because of the things she would do for me or the way she made me feel, but simply because she was my best friend and it didnt matter what her relationship to me was, it just mattered that I knew who she truly was and she knew me better than anybody else. I dont care how much shit we dragged each other through and how dysfunctional our breakup was, shes still the same person that I fell in love with. and that person is someone that I love. I know how you feel, my ex has put me through so much shit since we broke up,she's even accused me of being violent to her, and i still love her, and i'd still do anything for her.

Anonymous

^ would you fuck a girl on her period or does that disgust you?
Anonymous

if you know anything about women, you would know that sometimes, thats when they are the horniest. the rest is up to your imagination. herp derp. the guy i've been fucking for the last year and a half cannot make me orgasm. he has once in the hundreds of times we've had sex. pleaseee tell me how to make him make it happen. it's a serious problem.
Anonymous

try girl on top. and instead of going in and out (lol thats a burger joint), just grind forward and back with him inside of you. http://www.sexinfo101.com/sp_seesaw.shtml sooner or later, word is gonna spread and you're gonna get invited on Ellen DeGeneres and shit. search "maleminded" on twitter, it's ridiculous
thebradwest

balls. I think if i was ever invited on ellen, i would have to decline hahaah. jerry springer ftw. or peoples court. I could be a guest judge. i thought you were black too. only because of that singer jeremiah & every time you would post something i would picture jeremiah the singer saying it. -____Anonymous

well this is awkward, I thought you were black

Anonymous

do you ever feel bad for not answering all the questions you get?
Anonymous

all. the. time.

Fuck everybody.
2 MONTHS AGO
'' the moment that youre living now will never be here again and you can either enjoy it or be happy that it will be gone tomorrow.'' you are THE shit, im having that tattooed on my ass
Anonymous

wow. reading that again I just realized how deep that is. ass-appropriate tat for sure hahahaah

Do you ever feel lonely at school? I've just started college and I feel so alone, it's almost unbearable. And if you do feel the same way, how do you cope?
Anonymous

I check tumblr. if Im not distracting myself somehow, Id be miserable. sometimes, when it gets bad, i just drive. Ill play either classical music because I can or Ill roll down the windows at midnight a nd drive through random suburbs and neighborhoods with never gonna give you up by rick astley cranked at full volume. I may even be bold enough to go to a random gas station and buy every artificial doughnut in sight and just warf the entire package down in one sitting. you have to be able to sit there and stare off into space and remember that the moment that youre living now will never be here again and you can either enjoy it or be happy that it will be gone tomorrow. Why do guys spend time in front of the mirror? Is it like, an ego thing?
Anonymous

sometimes i sit there and just flex like a faggy 12 year old. then i leave the bathroom thinking about what a douche i am

im a girl and i watch porn. is that weird?

Anonymous

no. porn for women is like spending time in front of the mirror for guys: everybody does it, we just dont want to admit it. I'm 20...just went through my first breakup. Not sure how people go through this. I know it gets easier, but it seems impossible right now. Any good break-up music suggestions?
Anonymous

I KNOW IT SUCKS SAGGY TITS. welcome to hell. did you want fuck you fuck everything fuck life kindve music? or leave me alone i need to go cry for a month music? Hey, well I'm dating a guy since we were 13, and now we are 16. I don't want to have sex yet, not because I don't want to do it with him, but because I don't think I'm ready yet. So, yeah I told him that and he simply

said ok. But last week I saw him and a girl from our school kissing in a restaurant. A friend of his told me that they're having sex because I don't want to. I really love him, what do I do?
Anonymous

find someone who wont cheat on you. For what is the money people donate to you?
Anonymous

every once in awhile, I help people through things from breakups to suicide, just by being honest and open about my life and the things Ive been through. so people like to say thank you every once in awhile I guess. over half the questions I answer are answered privately. so I guess when people send a dollar or two, its pretty personal haha. and hey, it helps me with college that I have to pay for. Im not dr. phil or anything, but I try to help people when I can. how much have you gotten so far?
Anonymous

$84.45

Ive given every person whos donated a little personal message to show my appreciation. people are amazing

to people that have donated money to me

but seriously. thank you so much. you have no idea.

2 MONTHS AGO
I'd get you that car....if you let me suck your penis.
Anonymous

16 NOTES

can I get a signature? 1) you live in philadelphia? :S and 2) people still use craigslist after all the scams on there? (i know nobodys gonna get scammed for a car but for other things lol)
Anonymous

no I was just looking in every major citys craigslist for cobras or any kind of mustang because Im obsessed. and no, that isnt sarcasm haha.

I will suck a penis for this car. fuck.

2 MONTHS AGO
what do you think about hickeys?
Anonymous

3 NOTES

parents get mad that their kids have them because theyre jealous that their kids are getting more action than they are. your leg was in those conditions and you still had strength to take a picture. thats why i fucking love be friends with guys hahahah
Anonymous

we were sitting around staring at it for like 5 minutes. it was great. woah didn't expect to be all clean and blood free o.o cool for some reason though. never seen muscle and fat like that before
Anonymous

well that was taken at the hospital. It was the coolest thing. when i lifted my shorts up after it happened the entire muscle was just hanging out of my leg severed and twitching. when i flexed it just slithered back into place. 3 layers of stitches and 11 industrial-grade staples in my leg motherfucker. i felt bamf. Umm... I'm gonna assume that was a dude who faps to your pictures, then, because girls don't fap- we schlick.
steffalefagus

that term is so nast. omfg. schlick. step 1 see pic of you, fap step 2 right click step 3 fap step 4 move mouse, screen saver came up, fapping too long. step 5 right click again, save picture as. step 6 be able to fap any time :)
Anonymous

oh my god.

how in the world could this blog have prevented someone from killing self? i'm curious to know what you did that prevented that.. im kinda confused...
Anonymous

youre obviously new. you have some scrolling to do. You literally changed your icon like 4 times in 30 seconds
Anonymous

im ocd let me be. This blog has kept me from killing myself. Thank you so much. Seriously. You don't even know. I admire you in so many ways. Thank you.
Anonymous

Because of this, every blog of mine could be deleted and I could walk away satisfied knowing that it was all worth it. do you have any new girls in your life since alannah?
Anonymous

99% chance that this is alanah. is it bad if i dont know how to dance, sext or anything like that?
Anonymous

as long as you have a nice ass,

not gona lie right, i am such a mother fucking loyal fan of yours! i don't jizz over you, i just enjoy your blog and how you come across as a person, but i asked for help on your condition, and obv you have lots of asks and can't get through them all, but pleaaase please please can you tell me, what is the name of your condition that causes shortness of breath etc, cos i seem to have some the symptoms and i am going to the doctor tomorrow so having a possible name would be very very helpful!
Anonymous

you are really cool and therefore I am going to do my best in answering this question. To be honest, I dont know what the medical terminology for shortness of breath is. When I see it on any papers at the hospital it

simply states: symptoms: shortness of breath, heart pain, heart murmur/palpitations. Im pretty sure that the two are unrelated. Just do your best to describe the symptom. i'm gonna add one of your friends then
Anonymous

oh my god. post a full size of your icon so we can troll our facebook friends&family por favor?
thebradwest

if you dont check facebook im kind of curious to know how many friend requests you have since you have so many followers..
Anonymous

last time i checked about 200. then i changed the privacy settings so that if you werent at lest friends with one of my friends, you couldnt add me haha would you find it weird if we add you on facebook? please respond.
crosswires

go for it. I dont check facebook so dont be sad if i never respond. haha Someone's in a poopy mood tonight.
Anonymous

My breast can tell when it's going to rain.

Anonymous

theres a 30% chance that its already raining

I wish I could reblog some of your questions and answers.

show-your-hands

screenshot ftw "i dont even know what doctor who is. it was just an appropriate gif." - I can't decide whether to hurl abuse and unfollow you, or crawl into the fetal position cos i have no life.
prettyriott

do you think most guys in college are more interested in hook ups or relationships? I'm a girl in college and I want a relationship, but can't seem to find it.

Anonymous

things to avoid: 1. males holding red plastic cups 2. males who say bro as many times as a highschool girl says like 3. males wearing fitted hats lol good luck. wow you think epic meal time is gross, maybe it's kinda gross, but it's entertaining. wowww i hope you get unfollowed.
Anonymous

opinion on epicmealtime?
closingchapters

its fucking gross. When grinding what are girls to do with their hands?
Anonymous

1. run your fingers through your hair 2. grab and squeeze my jeans/pants right below the pockets 3. put your hands on mine and direct them where to go wtf does fap mean?
Anonymous

le google motherfucker You love the word fap, much too much.
haymanduh

fap Truth: Why do guys think it's so hot when chicks are into other chicks? I'm into other chicks and I hear it all the time from guys, and honestly, I still don't get it.
itsthatasianpersuasion-deactiva

because when I watch porn, i dont sit there and fap to the guy. i fap to the girl getting railed BY the guy. so removing the penis from the picture and replacing it with another female makes it double the fappability. Why do people always ask for you to post the tinychat link? Can't you always just go in... I'd assume most people would know the link by now...
rapidceasefire

because when I post it, everybody can go all at once. otherwise its just like 1 person in there.

tinychat?
Anonymous

http://tinychat.com/maleminded

OH. MY. GOD. YOU USED A DOCOR WHO GIF. I THINK I JUST *sploosh*. Yep
Anonymous

i dont even know what doctor who is. it was just an appropriate gif. lol I read you answer to the question about grinding and it got me really horny.
Anonymous

My brother beats me. It's not the normal sibling rivalry, he legit beats me. No one believes me when I tell them, they say he's just playing around or that he doesn't know his own strength. I have bruises all over me and some nights I think he's going to come in and strangle me. How can I get someone to believe me?
Anonymous

i believe you. tell your parents? show them the bruises? I feel like your parents should help you. and if they dont, visitthis site, find your state, and then they should help you if youre under 18. Im really sorry. i know how you feel. ive been in a similar situation.. Could you explain why a guy continues to hit on a girl despite her clearly telling him she isn't interested in them and/or is interested in someone else? I find it kind of disrespectful :/ Especially if they just met, it's creepy. And asking for your number after all of this is just annoying.
Anonymous

when a girl says no, we hear try again later

so if there's only the one girl you follow because she's hot... does that mean that the other girls you follow (assuming you do follow other girls) are ones that you like what they post or how they think as opposed to how they look? i hope that doesn't sound like i'm accussing you of being superficial or that other girls on here are ugly, but i'm curious as to why you only think one of the girls you follow is hot and the other aren't.
Anonymous

I honestly dont take the time to see what people look like. if I like what they post, Ill follow them.

Leanne. Thank you so much. 35$

3 MONTHS AGO

8 NOTES

Leanne. Thank you so much. 35$

3 MONTHS AGO
examples of bad sexting?
Anonymous

8 NOTES

hey so. can I put my peepee in your yoohoo? *thrustthrustthrust* kthx heres 5 bucks for a cab. you are a competent sexter.
Anonymous

I cut it off before it got raunchy. youre welcome. I've been reading maleminded, but I just found this one, and I just want to say, wow. I've been reading it for a little over an hour now. I honestly think you are making the world a better place. If we met in person, I would just give you a hug and tell you how insightful and selfless you are and then I'd ask if we could be best friends. I'd be honored to meet you or even just have a conversation with you someday. no joke.
Anonymous

thanks:] I really appreciate it. compliments are great

I hate my life. I feel so alone, nobody cares about me, nobody wants me around. I just want to be happy and when I do get happy, it's like someone has to rip it out from underneath me. Can I please have a hug?
Anonymous

if it helps to see this on my blog and know that at least one person has read this and understands, here you go.) Do you want any more tattoos?
Anonymous

yes. I want a sleeve so badly. but I need a job more than I want a sleeve. So your example of sexting was a little... I guess fluffy? But would you be turned on if a girl texted you something raunchier and not as romantic? More straightforward, using dirtier words?
jupitersunrise

I cut it off haha that was all foreplay. yes I enjoy anything dirty. this could quite possibly be the only blog that can make me cry and be horny at the same freakin time.
Anonymous

fuckyea how detailed are your sexts usually?

Anonymous

um well my phone stops texts at 160 characters and Ive gotten up to 9 page texts before Favorite song to grind to?
Anonymous

I know Ive recommended the shit out of this song, but kids -sleigh bells. Damn I feel stupid I was inspecting the "fly" from every side, fake poking it to see if itd fly away... until i scratched my screen....
ourpsychoticyouth

HAHAAHhahahah this is the frst one to make my laugh. inspecting it from every angle hahaha youre like me the first time I saw it. Your answer to the grind question --- I can't even. I just want to dance with you.
Anonymous

you should, if you have a spare hour or two, scroll through my whole blog. there are much better answers like that in there. somewhere. haha What would you do if you walked in on a girl masturbating??
Anonymous

help

I know mine isn't always the greatest but some peoples grammar BURNS MY EYES
Anonymous

there grammer really shoulnt bothor you that much. theres a fly on your screen.

3 MONTHS AGO
hottest piercings on a girl? belly? hips? monroe?
Anonymous

57 NOTES

I think girls with a bunch of peircings look trashy. but I think really REALLY small plugs are ok and I have a small fetish for feather earrings as cliche as that is. Be honest: do you ever follow girls just because they are hot?
Anonymous

just one. I wonder how many people have slapped their screen thinking your icon was a legit bug.
dylanliu

ive gotten over 100 messages about it. bwahaha what makes you follow the people you do on autovisual
Anonymous

what do you mean? I cant follow people on mm or any other blog except for autovisual only because i made that one first. so if Im following you, itll say that autovisual is following you. Im following 500+ people:D WHO.
Anonymous

saucydossy Does the friends-zone comment relate if a girl is stuck in the friend zone. I have a really good friend that I care about a lot & whom I'm crazy about& it's hard watching him sleep around &like a new girl every week. He could do so much better. He said that he likes me, but he also says that he doesn't want too cause I'm "too good of a person to hurt"but I kinda think that's just bs,considering he said he would sleep with me. Which I rejected cause I know that it wouldnt be for the same reasons.
Anonymous

hes a d bag. I only say that because he said hed sleep with you and lead you on like that. stop waiting for him to make up his mind and find someone who wants you the way you want him. You're a screamer, a breather or a biter?
Anonymous

breather and biter. but I think everyones a breather. unless youre into necrophilia.

do you want people to submit nudes?

Anonymous

no All your blog consists of anymore is replies to hater anons with a legit response to legit question every now and then. I really dig your blog but you seem to have lost whatever it was that I started following you for. Although I can't really say much, I mean if this is your personal blog I guess your entitled to post whatever the hell you want. Damn straight!!! Fuck the man! Post whatever the hell you want!!!
Anonymous

lolllllll you just got told. by yourself. do people ever submit you nudes? just wondering...
Anonymous

Out of about 30,000 messages, Ive gotten two. classy followers FTW i dont hate you becuz ur fat ur fat cuz i hate u
Anonymous

cuz u make me eat my feelings it's funny, everyone is like 'help me with my problems!' and you've just been in hospital. Dude, you're really selfless.
Anonymous

not really. Im actually extremely selfish. I woulnt be anywhere close to where I am today without the extreme generosity of others. Im really blessed. so helping others is really the least I can do. #selfrighteousnessftw haha thanks for the advice with the girl and the friend zone, i'm spending some time with her tomorrow so maybe i'll be able to pluck up the courage to make my move! hopefully it'll all go well, thanks again man x
Anonymous

no problem dude :j yeah someone made a maleminded twitter, took the logo and basicly took your post and reworded them to sound like brotips.
highlyvenomous

Why is everyone making such a big deal about your looks?

Anonymous

Your icon made me smack my screen *facepalm*

Anonymous

that motherfuckin fly.

What do you like better on girls, boobs or ass?

Anonymous

someones new here. hahhaa hey man, i've been following your blog for a while and i really like your "dont give a fuck" attitude, i hope you dont mind if i could ask for some advice: I've been friends with a girl for around 6 months now and i really have strong feelings for her, she's also said she has feelings for me, during this time she's been with two guys and they both, lets say havent treated her right (using), we're really good friends and im worried im going to be stuck in the friend zone, any help?
Anonymous

props for staying in there befriending a girl who you like who is getting with other guys is a really shitty feeling. you could be an ass hole and start getting with other girls but that will just cause a major mess. you have to straight forward and just do something about what you feel about her. because on the other hand, its not fair to expect her to not be with other guys if shes not tied to you. Im not saying you do expect that, im just saying this isnt fair to either of you. just tie the knot. You said before that you have a huge scar from surgery. What does it look like?
Anonymous

it goes all the way down to my stomach and im not that much of a tool Bro. If you followed me, I'd probably die happy.
myd00d

followed dum...dumdumdum...dumdumdum....dumdumdummmmmmmm....dum...dumdumdum....dumdumdum....dum dumdummmmmmm

Anonymous

Wow, you're not ugly, but you're not anything special in the looks department, either. Your being fawned over because of your appearance seems like it has to be because Tumblr is a big ol' sausage-hungry taco salad.
Anonymous

You're disappointing.
Anonymous

sweet Thanks for my orgasm the other night. (In my imagination) You were amazing. More, please.
Anonymous

tinychat
3 MONTHS AGO
why won't you post a REAL picture of you...?
Anonymous

1 NOTE

honestly, because when I do, this blog becomes another fangirl tumblr. Id rather people follow me and like my blog for what I write and post rather than what I look like. I just wanted to let you know that you really are a nice, genuine person. You take time out of your hectic day to sit down and truly listen and give advice in a non-condescending way, while still adding in your witty charm. I think its truly amazing and inspiring how you speak so openly on issues going on in your own life and provide people with a safe space to seek answers to questions that they otherwise may not get honest answers from. You may not see this, you dont have to post this bu
Anonymous

t we should totally bang. You suck.

Anonymous

that pitchblackglow kid is a fag.

Anonymous

your answerers to peoples asks are mindboggling. i love them. can i get another gif to turn me on as well??
Anonymous

Hey. I'm a girl, and I'll admit, I really hate my body - the way it looks, the way it moves, everything. Knowing this, is it weird that I'm more comfortable being completely naked than I am wearing clothes? I mean, I don't want anyone to see me naked, but when I'm alone (and naked), I'm most comfortable in my own skin. And I'm not trolling, I'm being serious. Thoughts?
Anonymous

I dont understand why you think this is weird. its as natural as pooping and everyone does it. (well, most. at least I do.) even if you are ugly, being naked is how its meant to be. to quote lady gaga, we were born that way. god, that was stupid as fuck. I'd buy your body.
Anonymous

how much.

That anon can go fuck themselves. Have you ever demanded money? Hell no. You ask for money as a donation, and SOME have given you a little because THEY COULD SPARE IT. How about that anon get their head out of their ass and show a little compassion.
Anonymous

You could be nicer to people wanting to donate you money. A lot people have expensive bills and student loans to pay also, and they aren't asking for money or 'donations' on tumblr.
Anonymous

its a donation. ill never REQUIRE people to give me money. and ive gotten like 10 bucks. its not like im making a living here. i should sell my body hahaha

I love doing cute things for my boyfriend like occasionally sending him a love letter or surprise ordering cookies to be delivered to his doorstep but my friends tell me I'm "spoiling" him/I should stop. I don't really understand why.. my rationale is if he treats me like a princess, I should treat him like a prince. am I looking at this wrong? guy's perspective please?
Anonymous

your friends are just jealous bitches. boom. I'd like to send you a dollar for every person you've helped on this blog... but I can't figure that number out. Help? (:
Anonymous

Just send one! everything helps. seriously. for about a year now I've been hooking up with this guy who has a gf . We haven't gone all the way because he respects that i want my first to be a bf but we do frequent third base. This is the only time i've ever done something like this. Would I be considered "easy" because of this? I really don't want to be, but the whole thing happened so fast.. opinions please?
Anonymous

just stop. If your, "I run maleminded" pick up line doesn't work, you could always use, "I have a defective heart, may I have yours?"

Anonymous

i'm a girl and i maturbate - is that weird? i would feel weird talking to my friends about it
Anonymous

NO.

meow
Anonymous

3 MONTHS AGO
favorite brad pitt movie?
thebradwest

191 NOTES

fight club (duh) and then snatch sadly i still have yet to see se7en and kalifornia [Flash 10 is required to watch video] no. this isnt me. but i sure as fuck wish it was. (via touchmygenitals)

3 MONTHS AGO

1,669 NOTES

my first paypal donater ever: Michel Mateus, 10$

woooooo yaaaaa:D

3 MONTHS AGO

12 NOTES

whats the best thing about boobs ?

Anonymous

the fact that theyre forbidden. hi. i just found out a couple days ago that at the end of the school year i'll be moving yet again and starting at my third high school in the fall. i saw on here a while ago that you went to like eight high schools or something crazy like that, and i was just wondering how you dealt with it? this will be my 10th or 11th move

and i'm only 16. i'm just so sick of starting over. i feel like i'm just screwing my self by trying to make friends and stuff because i know its not gonna last...
marycateminusashley-deactivated

wow. thats.. a lot. i enjoy switching schools. i would kill myself if i had to see the same annoying faces everyday, every year. you may not be like me, but i screw up. ALL the damn time. after a while, i realized, i can screw up and dgaf because these people wont ever see me again in their lives and i can actually be myself instead of conforming to all the stupid little rituals highschoolers play. ironically, being myself got me popularity when i didnt want it. after my 4th highschool, i laughed at people who thought i cared about what they thought. the only bummer though, was my reputation followed me at least with the teachers and staff because of my troublemaking past i could never quite shake. senior year, when i finally had a stable living situation, i used my sketchy past that had been instilled in all the teachers minds to my advantage and completely turned around and got a 3.9 as opposed to a 2.3 along with going to the office only 4 times that year (good for me). I dont even know where this is going, but use it to your advantage if you can. dont start over, but just continue. (btw try and fake an accent at your next school if you can. its the funniest shit.) Do guys like it when girls seem vulnerable? Or is that just a stereotype?
bloodywonderful

girls like that scare me. im just afraid i will insult her So, I'm a loyal person (loyal to friends, family, job-people, etc). I dedicate myself to the people in my life because there have been so many times in my life when I felt alone. Problem is, people aren't loyal back. I make friends easily, but they don't stick around for long. The only constant in my life is my mom, which is great, but I feel like I deserve more. Do I just have shit choice in friends, or are they missing out? Am I the one that's missing out? Driving a one-way street sucks.
Anonymous

yeah that does. i made a post a couple days ago about girls taking their good, loyal boyfriends for granted simply because they could. its human nature to not want to work for what were getting for free. using that logic, you could just stop putting out in that way. and make them work for it. but you should find friends who WANT to be there for you, rather than HAVE to. should make your shirts payable via paypal
Anonymous

I was thinking about just giving out some of my personal clothes to random minions by mail for free and you can donate with the paypal button thing on the side of my blog. if you want.

Been following your blog since the beginnings and I just read this conversation between you and a guy who was 20 years old saying that he was feeling low and lonely. And you responded with how you two were the same people, how friends are an illusion disguised as company, how you understood the guy, how loneliness sucked. I just wanted to let you both know, that none of you are alone. I'm exactly there with the two of you. We can all be together. And no one alone. Can you feel it? :) *hugs?*
Anonymous

You just got more awesome because of your political views. Screw the anon who called you a douche bag.
taeztennis

thanks man. but dude. your blog is BLANK. get with it and lose the social life so you can be just like the rest of us.

i found out that you and my sis are fb friends. i was like "dudeee you're facebook friends with jeremiah van guilder!" and she's like "yeahh so?" and i was like "do you KNOW who he IS??" and she's just like "he went to to issaquah high school he's in the class below me." and i was like "seriously." she didn't even know you were tumblr famous. i almost killed her.
Anonymous

you should have. get off anon!

Why don't you like Cody? You're going to get all his fangirl hate. May the force be with you.
Anonymous

is that his name? oh cute. pictures like this deserve a cockslap to the face

What kind of heart problem do you have? I just found out 2 days ago word for word that I "have been diagnosed with valvular heart disease because of a Right Valve enlargement and Mitral Valve Prolapse with trace mitral regurgitation". Just wondering if by some off-chance you have something similar.
lozzleface

holy heart problems, batman. um aeordic stenosis along with a failing heart valve that needs to be replaced soon. my heart works 300% harder than the normal heart. ive been under stress lately as well and its been causing serious heart and chest pain along with inability to breath for short periods of time. im not supposed to live past 60. better live it up. the plus side? awesome scars and a heart murmur that literally purrs like a cat.

people i want to punch in the face

pitchblackglow

3 MONTHS AGO

13 NOTES

I know I'm noone to tell you this, but man! why are bothering answering these people who have a problem with your political stance when you need to concentrate on GETTING WELL ?
Anonymous

because sitting on my ipod wont hurt my chances of getting better:D if he was a religious douche bag, he'd be for michelle bachman. also know that in the 80's election he went under libertarian. which is small government all around, socially and economically. so gtfo anon. he's right

on the economics, but socially left. he's only under republican so he can actually have the slightest chance. when was the last time you saw a 3rd party get elected? oh yeah, um never. we've only got 2 independents in the entire senate/house.
saylucy-deactivated20111127

cool person is cool Good thing your blog is on relationships and not on politics because you would've lost a lot of followers.
Anonymous

good thing i can talk about whatever i want and not care if i lose followers ron paul? really? i dub thee as a right wing, religious douchebag
Anonymous

yay I party with this guy every weekend. We went to high school together and I liked him, but now I really like him. He always really sweet to me and we talk a lot and if he sees me getting bored he always entertains me. He told me to text him so I did tonight and he was really sweet. We've never kissed or anything. He always touches my boobs though, not that I really mind, I know it sounds slutty, but I'm a virgin and hey, ya know, I want a little. hah, should I continue to text him or what?
Anonymous

um. yeah? weve never kissed, but he touches my boobs. lol You're probably not going to answer this but I really need some advice. I like this guy at school but...he has a girlfriend. This guy and I talk a lot during the classes we have together and it seems like he is flirting with me. I do not know what to do for as I have yet to experience my first relationship. Should I tell him I like him? Should I just wait till he and his girlfriend break up, and then tell him. PLEASE help me! I really don't know what to do in these kind of situations.
leavesfromtheshadetree

back off of him. you may be sweet and all, but that just isnt cool. howd it feel if you were her just for a change of pace from relationship questions, what's your stance on politics? who're you rooting for the 2012 election?
Anonymous

ron paul

where can i download a guy like you?

Anonymous

you know youre gonna click it.

Is everything alright?
Anonymous

yeah. i just thought you might need a reason as to why ive been unable to tumble 24/7 ive been in the emergency room for heart/chest pain. Ill be alright though. but thanks. I love you guys Do you have an iliac furrow?
just-andy

yes its my pride and joy

Hey, I'm a total emotional blanket for this girl, shes been through alot definately, and I dont mind listening and giving advice once in a while. I literally stay up all night listening to her go on about things i have no business in. does she want something more or am i just a shoulder to cry on? if its the latter i want my life back.
Anonymous

get your life back. its sweet and all. but the equivalent to a guy using a girl for nothing but sex is a girl like that using you for nothing but emotional stability. youre probably being used as much as a free hooker. but if youre her friend, be there for her. as long as shes there for you.

I like the first one. hahahaha

3 MONTHS AGO 102 NOTES

I get a feeling that my girlfriend loves the attention I give her more than she actually loves me. any experience with this feeling?
Anonymous

yup. what happens is guys who spill their guts to make the women that they love happy eventually become taken for granted. we become a security blanked and nothing more. they want us when they need us to fill the gap thats left when their friends/family/boytoys leave. i answered a question about this like 2 days ago. ctrl+f taken for granted I recently turned 18 and I still don't have my driver's license. I've been telling my mom that the driving booklet doesn't make sense, but the real reason I don't want to drive is because I'd be too tempted to wrap the car around a telephone pole. Then it wouldn't look like a suicide, it'd look like an accident. How do I tell her the real reason I don't want to drive without her having a complete and utter meltdown?
Anonymous

I dont know what youre trying to say. So here goes two different answers: 1. If youre obsessed with making it look like a suicide, then you want people to react. Youre doing it for a selfish reason and for attention. I value your life as a fellow human being and as my brother or sister, but people who do this for attention sicken me. 2. If you want it to look like an accident, why are you hesitating to drive? So you can postpone your temptation to kill yourself? All lovingness and tenderness aside, that holds almost no logic in that anyone really eager to end their life wouldnt hesitate at amassing the appropriate means to do so. Conclusion: dont kill yourself please. its a permanent solution to a temporary problem. if a guy doesn't get a boner while grinding with a girl does that mean the girl sucks at dancing or he's just really good at preventing it?
Anonymous

1. hes already jacked off within the past 6 hours 2. hes gay 3. hes already been with said girl 4. he has ED Your favorite: rough or slow sex?
Anonymous

its close, but id have to say slow. only because i love teasing. Should I go over to my ex boyfriend's house tomorrow?
Anonymous

I know this dude who always in-detail tells me how he is going to rape me if I do something that annoys him or scares him or anything like that. what the fuck does that even mean? is that a joke or is he trying to gauge my reaction or what? and no I'm not trolling, I'm dead ass serious.
Anonymous

if hes attractive, hes most likely just messing with you and feeding his probably already inflated ego by seeing how you react. hes gonna be expecting an oh chad, id lovee that heehee. but if this dudes an ugly fucker, call the cops.

is it bad that i love rough sex?

Anonymous

yes. now bend over and let me spank you. now Im going to have to tie you down and fuck you till you beg for forgiveness. Does your brother have a tumblr? If so, what is it?
Anonymous

no all he does is 4chan haha b-but entourage is something brotips would watch and enjoy....
Anonymous

youre thinking jersey shore and 16&preggo. aw how old is your brother?
Anonymous

16

"Whoever said Friends is better than Seinfeld can suck a dick. Fucking faggots, man."
- my little brother after reading this blog.

3 MONTHS AGO
Everyone can die. Seinfeld is amazing.
Anonymous

37 NOTES

to people who dont like seinfeld: come at me bro.

My friend and I, we are girls, just gave a guy a complete tutorial of vaginas and how to please women. You should just make one... so we don't have to educate anymore....
Anonymous

was this a hands-on demonstration and are courses free?

Boo Seinfeld. That shit isn't funny. Friends is better.

Anonymous

the only 5 minutes of that show ive seen were on youtube and brad pitt was featured. and thats the only reason why. my boyfriend pressures me into sex. gif?
Anonymous

no gif. but heres a picture.

Do you have something against anti depressants?

Anonymous

No, I just wasnt depressed. are you on or have you ever taken anti depressants?
Anonymous

my mom put me on them when i was 13 haha i was like wtf are these and she just told me theyre for your brain. -__- so I googled the name of them and fake-swallowed ever since. wow that was naughty. What are your favorite tv shows?
daranran

southpark, seinfeld, entourage, 24, 70s show I really wish I could drop my standards long enough to get a guy interested in me, I just can't seem to let those standards go. Or would that ultimately be a bitch move?
Anonymous

drop your standards and youll have the rest of however long you spend with that person to regret it. unless your standards are absolutely absurd. like those lists you see on your dashboard that say Ill fall for a bo y

that will: (insert 4818149287 things here) no guy is perfect. people who expect perfection or anything close to it need to get over themselves. umm, anon forgot to say she'd scratch your back. not a minion.
Anonymous

damn straight.

keep up the good work asshole

Anonymous

HEY EVERYONE. hes being FUNNY not ASSHOLISH. take a freaking joke. get your nasty whitie tighties or granny panties out of your crack and learn to laugh. sheesh.
Anonymous

oh my gosh, tone down the asshole today.

kaylamaeg

no

hey can i look something up? *clear browsing history* sure.

3 MONTHS AGO

57 NOTES

(via tiraynan)

3 MONTHS AGO
Do you know a legal way for a 17 year old girl to make $2000 in less than a year?
Anonymous

40,904 NOTES

work? I made over 3k in a year as a 14 year old with two jobs.

So if all women need is a pulse to get a guy... How am I still alive?

Anonymous

haha. because youre either picky or have standards. omgomgomgomg. CHUCKTESTA.

Anonymous

omgomgomgomg. NOOOPE. dude, fuck the guy who said the gifs are getting annoying, there awesome as long as they make sense. anyways, ive liked this girl for a while and i made the mistake of introducing her to weed.. that wouldn't have been a problem if she hadnt started hanging with a new crowd. now she's hooked on meth and shes so fucked up, the only thing she thinks about now is the meth and when shes gonna do more. should i try to help her or just quit it, leave her alone? what would you to if you were me?
Anonymous

help her. Id help anybody in that situation. not just because I used to like her or because I indirectly got her involved in the stuff. but just because she needs help. ya dig? I really do have to commend you for your writing skills... seriously. Your answers are nicely put together for just simple responses. I'm not talking about the sly comments but the ones where you actually write out advice or your developed thoughts... I feel like you write like poetry or prose or something otherwise.... idk where I'm going with this, but hey. keep on keepin on.
poetry-orsomethinglikeit

you should read my sexts;) If I'm a guy and I use smiley faces that means I like you. I would not go out of my way to lower my masculinity unless I liked you.
masseyp

massey our bromance was supposed to be a secret. since you were so depressed, and kinda still are, do the comments about how malemided sucks and shit like that hurt you?
Anonymous

um no. bitches can suck my juicy testicles. how long did you it take for you to get over depression and start to feel better?
Anonymous

after being hospitalized and sent to a mental hospital at 4am on my 16th birthday, I realized that everything can always be much worse. so I guess, it took one day. obviously it took a lot longer to fully recover, but seeing the other people that were there and in worse condition than I was really helped

Dude you posted a picture of a train with blood all over the front on one of your blogs and I can't find it and I'm about to pick the world and drop it on your fucking head if you dont send me a link to the post.
iamhunt3r

dude I cant find it either FFFFUUUU that was one quality picture. Im sorry man. Im equally pissed. I'm a high school freshman, and I don't handle stress well. It makes my depression significantly worse, and I'm already starting to crack from the stresses of school. The very thought of going through 7 more years of school scares the shit out of me. I am very honestly scared I won't make it out alive. Knowing that you are also someone who has been severely depressed, and knowing that you made it out of school alive, really does give me a little bit of hope.
Anonymous

it should give you a little more hope than that. I was seriously fucked up. I still am, just not as bad. the socially-acceptable interactions I have with the people arou nd me are just disguises to conceal what Im really thinking. and ironically, I think thats the case for everyone. except for dumb bitches that like twilight whos iq is equivalent to their dick size haha. I just laughed at my own joke. what a tool. dear girl: i send that kind of stuff to a girl i know and i'm not interested. then again, we've ben really good friends with her for 3+ years. i guess it can depend on how long you've known him, or the type of guy he is. i mean, i would text that to any girl and not mean anything by it. It just depends.
chicagotransitauthority

a guy sent me "silly :P" he flirting right?

Anonymous

I honestly have never understood those faces. I guess its because I ne ver see people finish their sentences irl by sticking their tongue out the side of their mouth. Which way did you try to kill yourself? Sorry of this is to personal
Anonymous

overdose. THIS IS MY PERSONAL BLOG how dare you ask a personal question D:< To the anon that asked why you were sent to the hospital on your birthday: that's answered somewhere on his blog. Either gtfo or scroll through the whole thing. No minion status for them.
Anonymous

I really like that feeling you get after vacuuming that dirty spot on the carpet or pressure washing that ish off the driveway. unf. why were you sent to a mental hopital at 4am on your birthday!??
Anonymous

hahaha I refuse to depress my followers toooo much A lot of people come to you for advice, but who do you go to?

Anonymous

knowing that people go through the same bullshit that I do is enough therapy for me thanks for answering my question about depression...you really are a lifesaver...I searched a few things over this topic on your blog & by what you just said, you saved me
Anonymous

I feel like crying. dont let the trollface icon throw you off haha:D but honestly, thank you. All the gifs as answers are getting annoying. I used to love your blog, you used to give the best advice. I miss you.
Anonymous

tinychat nikkuh
Anonymous

http://tinychat.com/maleminded wait, you seriously didn't use that willy wonka picture "you must be new here" for that answer? come on man. blowin' it
Anonymous

I was going to. but laziness got the best of me.

you liked my post so I'm assuming your dtf?

Anonymous

you must be new here. why even ask that question.

Thank you cus of you and your Northamerifuck blog, I watched Fight Club and had my mind fucked, its an amazing movie. And I understand your Brad Pitt fascination lol
Anonymous

I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed bitch. It's not your fault you're so gap-toothed.
Anonymous

dammit i hate those people that go "jeremiah you used to be so nice but lately you've been sounding like a douche i thought you should know". so annoying.
Anonymous

I need help, my girlfriend has been telling me ive been acting really clingy lately and i dont know what to do. If it wasnt for you i wouldnt have had the guts to tell her how i feel and lately it feels like we are growning apart from each other. I act all cute towards her, i text her every morning saying 'Good morning beautiful' and im dtc not dtf according to her she loves that :\ Im scared im going to loose her. Please help me!

Anonymous

Its a sad truth, but one thing that Ive found while dating someone I wouldve done anything for, is that its almost inevitable to be somewhat taken for granted if you do nothing but pour yourself out for that person. Im not saying play hard to get, but if you can, somehow distance yourself and hopefully shell be reminded about how lucky she is to have you. I've been following you for a while, and I really admire what you do for people who need help and advice. In the past some people have said that you act like a douche and I've thought they were stupid, but recently even I think that you've been getting a little jerkier in your responses. If you look at the last several things you've posted, most of them aren't at all like the advice that you used to give. I still support and respect you, but I hope that your blog won't stay like this forever.
barnardigan

it wont. Im just on my period ;D i've followed your tumblrs for a little while now, and not once have i commented on anything. i just read that post about the girlfriend who didn't want to have sex and the boyfriend who took her shopping, and i damn near busted a nut, i laughed so hard. thank you. so. much. for that.
Anonymous

haha no problem:) when someone compliments me over the internet:

when someone insults me over the internet:

3 MONTHS AGO

56 NOTES

So because I'm a creep I facebook searched you...but what was weirder was that I'm from WA and it turns out we have a bunch of mutual friends. Mind blown.
Anonymous

COME OFF ANON. You should tinychat tonight :)

Anonymous

http://tinychat.com/maleminded

Worth reading.
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, I dont feel like it, I just want you to hold me. I said, WHAT??!! What was that?! So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear Youre just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man. She responded to my puzzled look by saying, Cant you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom? Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldnt decide which one to take, so I told her wed just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, Lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesnt even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, Thats fine, honey. She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, I think this is all dear, lets go to the cashier. I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, No honey, I dont feel like it. Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, WHAT? I then said, Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. Youre just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman. And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, Why cant you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you? Apparently Im not having sex tonight either.but at least that bitch knows Im smarter than her.

3 MONTHS AGO

660 NOTES

i was in class the other day and i heard a girl behind me say.. "i love maleminded. i'd eat his poop" awk..
Anonymous

ah yes. i remember her. I was wondering, what if you had kids with a girl who was a vegetarian and she decided to raise your kids vegetarian. Would you secretly feed them meat, or would you respect her decision?
Anonymous

I wouldnt secretly feed them meat. it would be my house right? But for the most part I would let them decide. unless it was fast food haha. nobody deserves to get off to a bad start diet-wise. if that makes sense. can i please have the link to you urbandictionary thing
callmespin

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Jeremiah%20van%20guilder&defid=6113744 what would you say If I could get you like a minute or two of Brad Pitt's time?
Anonymous

I would ask him if all the success, all the money, all the fame and all the women really made him happy. And what would he have done differently if he could go back in time knowing what he knows now. i used to think you were super nice and chill, but lately you've just been acting like a douche in almost all your answers. i know it's your blog and you can say what you want, so it's whatever. but i just thought you should know you're being a little bitch.
Anonymous

You're so hot even my zipper is falling for you!

Anonymous

youre so ugly my zipper is only down because Im taking a piss. LAWL it says you're prone to mood swings. you are.
Anonymous

NO IM NOT FUCK YOU baby come back <3

I'm sorry someone put you on urbandictionary, and they did it in a dick way.
Anonymous

haha feel free to make a new definition Did you know you're on Urban Dictionary?
Anonymous

wow thats cool Lately Ive had trouble feeling like I belong at a school that I've gone to for literally my whole life. Everyone thinks that I'm so happy, but honestly none of them understand how I feel: alone, distant, and unwelcome. I never share what I'm going through with them because I feel like it burdens my so-called friends. I want to thank you. Reading through all your blogs has honestly helped me through so much and is one of the few things that truly makes me happy and brings a real smile to my face.
Anonymous

:]

please tell me you can sing/have musical talents.

kathkathkathers

if drums, piano and guitar count you just nodded to me on tinychat. i'm legit blushing right now.
Anonymous

thats sad.

heres a nice pickup line: Hi. Youll do. Your tinychats are crazy, I wanted to actually talk to you hahaha
connorburger

haha ok i wont cam next time If you guys made porn i'd totally watch it.
Anonymous

i should make a poll on the maleminded fb page tinychat phulease

Anonymous

http://tinychat.com/maleminded

Yeah good idea, let's get fucking arrested and never have a chance to be famous again. Let's just start making porn
masseyp

bbw only. awww the xx just popped up on my pandora station as a suggestion and i thought of you!!! and duuuude pple are probably just putting your name into facebook and stalkin all your pics. so hide ya posts, hide ya pics/tags. they gon find you.
Anonymous

My mom sent my dad a "<3" in a text message once. He replied and asked why she had sent him an emoticon of a ballsack.
Anonymous

haaaaaaahaha. your dad reads my blog. My mom sent my dad a "<3" in a text message once. He replied and asked why she had sent him an emoticon of a ballsack.
Anonymous

haaaaaaahaha. your dad reads my blog. i would tell you where i found pictures of you too but then you'd take them down soooooo
Anonymous

tell me now

i would tell you where i found pictures of you but them my creeper status would go up like 23781904678905432
Anonymous

believe me you wouldnt be the worst.

You are SO FUCKING HOT. <333333

Anonymous

does anybody else think that <3 looks like a ballsack? btw where are you finding pictures of me Would you be annoyed if people stole your tattoo idea?

Anonymous

not at all. i mean, I kinda stole it myself. are you a freeway exit? cuz im getting off on you ;)
Anonymous

is your driveway a vagina? because im pulling out. i think your awesome.

Anonymous

(via canimuff)

3 MONTHS AGO

13,308 NOTES

ok guys i got it back. no need to worry. at least until next time haha

3 MONTHS AGO

12 NOTES

Threaten her with risqu photos you presumably have of her. I can't have you being deleted, because all I will be left with on my dash is rage comics and I will go insane.
ssophie-grovez

hahaha. i would never do that to anybody. even though i easily could. do you still have her "love" letter posted? i'm curious
Anonymous

http://maleminded.tumblr.com/post/8571857530/found-this-while-packing-i-love-her-so-much i thought you were in love with her? CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD NOWWWWWWW
Anonymous

SHE CHANGED THE LOG ON EMAIL ADDRESS I CANT. lol why wtf did you do to that chick?
Anonymous

shes upset that ive moved on since she dumped me 6 months ago. lol why do you regret dating alanah??
Anonymous

because shes an ex girlfriend nightmare. on top of a lot of things, shes currently on the phone with me threatening to delete my tumblr account that she just figured out the password to. how did you get the scar that's longer than a foot?

Anonymous

open heart surgery

If you had to become an inanimate object what would you like to be?
Anonymous

a bra. oh god the pleasure. You should totally have your own newspaper column. It would be way better the ones where old ladies write to other old ladies complaining about their in-laws...
Anonymous

hahaha I doubt it. those things are amazing. yo dawg, I heard you like giving advice
Anonymous

so I put advice (dont do drugs) in yo advice so you can get advice while you read advice. I realise this is probably weird because I'm older and asking you this, but do you think it is possible to be battling depression as a 20 year old guy? I have these constant feelings of detachment from reality and loneliness, even though I do have friends and talk with people daily. If you were to randomly meet me, you'd think I was as normal as they come, but sadly I don't feel that way. Just wanted an opinion from someone close to my age and who knows what they're talking about
Anonymous

I think you and I are the same. I think we always feel this way because no matter who they are, no one can truly understand you, what you think, how you think, where youve been and what youve experienced.

friends are an illusion disguised as company. its shit. loneliness is one of the worst ailments. I take comfort in knowing that there is someone else out there as miserable and misunderstood as I am. its funny really. haha were together in our loneliness. If you're as awesome as you seem on here I would drive the 12 hours to OSU just to hang out with you. Damn, that doesn't sound creepy.
bloodywonderful

in real life Im that person who sits in the corner of the bathroom watching you pee mumbling to himself soon. soon no but seriously. tumblr party needs to happen asap. was that 9 hrs total or just one way
Anonymous

one way motherfucker. this girls a keeper. So i was drunk and i gave this girl money for a bj and she bit my dick off what do i do
Anonymous

ask her to swallow So I was at a party and this guy asked me for a bj and I accidentally bit his dick off what do I do.
Anonymous

laugh when he asks you to swallow I have a thing with this one guy and I have his password for tumblr and this one day I was wondering if it was his facebook password so I checked and it was.. but I saw he was all manwhore status with this one ugly chick /; I don't want to tell him because he doesn't know that I have his password, but it's like killing me, what should I do?
Anonymous

stop creeping on peoples personal things whats the hottest thing a girl has done for you
Anonymous

drive 9 hours to see me for one night. How did we go from latinas to black girls lol wut?
Anonymous

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1UEDulwWkY Questions like that one, about black girls being attractive, are fucking retarded. You know what makes a girl attractive? Whether or not you personally think she is. It has nothing to do with her skin color, or size, or accent, or anything. If you dig someone, you dig 'em. Period.
bromeetsworld

true. but this is still funny:

I'm currently having a thing with a guy and he's the manwhore of his class. He usually doesn't treat girls like he does me though. He holds my hand, kisses me, and introduces me to all of his friends. They all ask if we're dating and I'm like, "NO, we're friends..." I'm usually not the kind of girl with strings attached but I like him now... Should I try and keep this thing together?
Anonymous

hes the manwhore of his class

doesnt treat girls like he does me though He holds my hand, kisses me, and introduces me to all of his friends if hes a manwhore, I have news: he probably does that to every girl.
do you think latinas are like the sexiest women in the world? for some reason every guy i know seems to think that... why
Anonymous

i like eskimos.

What do guys think about girls from other countries? I'm not American and every time I tell a guy that they seem to think it's like super exotic or something...
Anonymous

the grass is always greener where do you live? ;o all your blogs are so lush
Anonymous

columbus ohio The guy I like will act like he really likes me one day, and then just not talk/text me for a good week/week and a half. I feel weird texting him because i don't want it to be one of those awkward things where I text him and he doesn't even want to talk. So the other day he messaged me and went out of his way to tell me how this girl sat on his lap and how beautiful she is even when I tried to change the subject kind of. Trying to make me jealous, or trying to let me know he's not interested?
Anonymous

Id say jealous. personally, if i was trying to get a girl to take the hint that i wasnt interested, I would just ignore her completely. My name is Indigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Anonymous

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWXcDZNgOWs&feature=related picture of you please!

Anonymous

Simplify this: 2i <6U

Anonymous

i<3U

[Flash 10 is required to watch video] (via kickingsocietys-ass)

3 MONTHS AGO
If you're from africa, why are you white?
Anonymous

47,725 NOTES

oh my gosh karen, you cant just go around asking people why theyre white. why do you have so many different tumblrs?
hammadyy-deactivated20111126

why do you have a life? I told my friend about male minded. I think hes gay for you!
rindilynn

id go gay for me too. sooooo did you make youtube videos?

Anonymous

we did. but they sucked. this sentence is a lie.

Anonymous

Don't girls WANT guys to ejaculate as fast as they can when giving blow jobs?
Anonymous

some do. but some really like doing it. based on what Ive heard. My boyfriend has a bit of a problem. I can barely give him a blowjob for 30 seconds without him blowing his load. Same goes for handjobs, but he usually lasts a little longer on those. What do I do?
Anonymous

make him wank one off beforehand. if you dont run rate my ass, then who does?
Anonymous

yoitsmassey.tumblr.com What's your opinion on a guy that only texts a girl when he's drunk and/or high? Is he just a tool that only wants to flirt with her when drunk, or is it that he knows that I'm not going to take his drunk flirting seriously?
Anonymous

guys who do that want her but dont want to admit it. so when theyre drunk, they do. Does it bother you when people from tumblr request you on facebook or skype or whatever? I feel like that'd be invading your personal life or something. Like they just came over and sat as close as they could to you without being on top of you... but that's just me.
Anonymous

im almost never on facebook and i almost never skype. so not really.

tinychat tonight?
Anonymous

nooo =/ ill be busy all night tonight. but here you can go yourselves: http://tinychat.com/maleminded omg. spongebob's ass = best ass.
Anonymous

if Im guessing correctly, youre talking about ratemyass. and im pretty sure thats patrick. Sorry to creep a little, but I looked you up on Skype .... and three people came up with your name. No picture for any of them. Two say Seattle, and the third doesn't have any other info with it. One of the ones that says Seattle also says a birthdate of Sept. 25, but I thought your birthday was the 21st? So which one is you??
Anonymous

ok its the one with the me gusta picture I just looked at ratemyass. These girls are stupid enough to send their pictures to these creeps only to be shit out with bad ratings. Why do girls subject themselves to this kind of shit?
Anonymous

I have no idea. maybe they like an honest opinion? I know the guy who runs it. hes a sophomore in college. so I guess its pretty relevant haha I just had an idea for a tattoo that's Dragon Ball-themed and wanted to know your stance on it... You get small tattoos of the dragon balls on various places of your body, then at the special spot get a tattoo of the dragon that will "grant your wish." Clever, or just stupid?
Anonymous

stupid.

I lost my virginity to the guy i loved three days before I moved states. He obviously didn't love me back because within a week of moving he f-cks one of my mutual friends.. Then when i visit for a holiday i seek revenge by sleeping with the one guy he was always so jealous of. Problem is, now I like him. ALOT. WHATS WONG WITH ME! WHAT DO I DO! ME WAN MOVE BACK STATES!
Anonymous

whats wrong is you still cared about a guys opinion who didnt give a shit about you. by fucking this other guy, youve fucked yourself and now youre stuck with a clusterfuck of a mess due to your poor reaction to his poor decision. -dr. phuck

I missed my 4,000th post BOOOOO

saucydossy: I never pay attention. WHATEVER. Fun things planned for this weekend.not sure what is going to happen :)))))))) But if you are wondering where Ill be or what I will be doing, just look for someone driving around like this:

DONT ASK.

3 MONTHS AGO
Your Halloween plans, not your day to day routine tho.

8 NOTES

Anonymous

OHHH my bad. i misread the question. Any Halloween plans?

Anonymous

dress as a shirtless fireman with nothing but fireman pants and sexy suspenders and make panties drop. at my high school i do this thang called running start so im only there for 2 periods and i'm supposed to leave before 3rd period. but today i had shit to do so i stayed a little later and we have a 10 min break after 2nd period so i'm walking up the stairs and i see this girl like jump on my bf and start kissing him like hellza intense. im standing there like "lolz. da fuck." and he sees me and says he has no idea what happened she totally surprised him he doesnt like her. should i believe him?
Anonymous

i used to do running start too. yeah hes probably telling the truth in that she surprised him, but what kind of boyfriend kisses another girl hellza intense? i just slept with my best friends ex ...were not friends anymore
Anonymous

lol. way to go Is your dad a terrorist? Cause you're the bomb.

Anonymous

did you pull the trigger? cause I just blew up all over your face I apologize for how heavy my blog just got. tomorrows a new day. herp derp.

3 MONTHS AGO

8 NOTES

I'm a plug that fell out of the socket. Mind pushing me back in?
Anonymous

that could be a problem because Im wet. they call me coffee cause i grind so fine
Anonymous

youre on your period? good thing Im a vampire. The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
Anonymous

the only reason I would eat you out is if I was hungry for a tuna salad. is your dad a baker? cause you've got some hot buns
Anonymous

got a glove? cause you still gotta stick me in the oven. Yeah its a big fucking deal to go out with your best friend's ex boyfriend. It's just something you don't do. There are tons of guys in the world, it shouldn't have to be one your best friend dated. Doesn't matter if it was a year ago, if she's okay with it ... than fine, if she's not. don't fuck her over. cause then you're just a shitty friend.
Anonymous

boom goes the dynamite I'll pay you $15,000 I have saved up for my grandkids if you come do a striptease at my nursing home. The ladies haven't gotten action in years.
Anonymous

instead, you should use it to go buy some more episodes of the price is right.

is this a bitch move? a guy from high school (3 yrs ago) always texts me randomly saying "i miss you lets hang out! i better see your ass this weekend!" and shit like that and he was like this weekend for sure so i even cancelled my original plans that weekend. well he called today saying the same thing and my response was: "do me a favor, unless you know for a fact you will see me and put effort into it, don't call/text me trying to and not follow through, im not a play toy" if yes, why?
Anonymous

I dont think so at all. youre lucky because, unlike a lot of girls, youre about to save a lot of time. I am the "her". Look, in a relationship, girls jump the gun. We want sex, too. We crave it and hormones get the best of us. That girl may have done the same thing I did to my last relationship. I had sex with the guy a week and half into the relationship and then later on I regretted it. It even got to the point where I was crying during and after sex because the whole time I was wishing he was someone else. I hated myself for thinking I had fallen in love with him.
Anonymous

come to australia
seeunextuesday

buy me a ticket. have nutella waiting for me when I get off the plane. teach me to somehow absorb your accent. take me surfing. and have the interior of the car that picks me up to be 71 degrees EXACTLY. What do you look like? I haven't seen you post any photos haha. How do people recognize you then?
Anonymous

I used to have pictures up. someone made me a facebook fan page lol. go look up Jeremiah van guilder is it really that big of a deal if i go out with my friends ex boyfriend? honestly i dont see the big deal. i would care if she went out with any of mine. and she broke up with him, like a year ago.
Anonymous

I feel like thats something you best ask either her or someone else who is flu ent in girl-code. I'll pay you 15,000$ if you come to my house and dance out of a cake tomorrow night.
Anonymous

ok. *pokerface* nice shoes, want to fuck?

Anonymous

ive never seen you here before. do I come inside you often? Don't come to Pennsylvania, we don't want you. >:(
Anonymous

are you from tennesee? cause I wanna make out with your face. COME TO CALIFORNIA.

Anonymous

I dont understand you people. I cant visit anons. So I have a problem.. My girl had I had sex the first week we started dating & now I can't get it no matter what I do. I don't want to come off as a horndog, but I mean what's holding her back?
Anonymous

she might feel bad about it and is trying to refrain now by overcompensating after-the-fact in order to somehow cancel out the fuck sessions early on. feelsbadman. society is a bitch. makes girls feel bad about things they shouldnt be forced to conform to in the first place. sorry if that makes zero motherfucking sense. Please upload a picture of your penis. I will honestly masturbate to it every night. Pornography is getting old.
Anonymous

omfg. Do people ever recognize you from tumblr in real life?

rachaelmcpants

its happened twice. feels good man. Autovisual makes my panties wet.
Anonymous

mine too

people that say swag

themselves in their minds:

themselves in reality:

3 MONTHS AGO
how many followers on each of your blogs?
Anonymous

840 NOTES

this one: 5000ish mozd: 9000ish northamerifuck: 7000ish autovisual: 1500 maleminded: almost 70,000 i apologize for that severely immature post.

3 MONTHS AGO
I hate when people say "cummed". It bugs the shit out of me.
Anonymous

15 NOTES

here i cum. oh baby im cumming. oh sorry about that. i just cummed. on ur face. lulz. If you wrote a biography, I would buy it. Actually, I'd buy as many copies as I could, and then give them away at school, and then tell them if they liked it, tell them to go and buy your book.
Anonymous

how on earth would i find time to write a book?? but youre officially awesome btw:D YOUR LIFE IS SO CONFUSING. WRITE A BIOGRAPHY NOW.
Anonymous

hahaha would you buy it? maybe it could get me through college. why the 8 high schools are your parents in the military?
Anonymous

I havent lived with either parent since i was 14. so thats why lol that sounds similar to my life, I'm in my last year of high school #7. I know how you feel.
hue-less

dude. switching highschools was fun for me. idk why. its like i could totally fuck up and no one would care in a month. Are you really popular at your high school/university, too? (Or were you)
hue-less

ive been to 8 highschools. when i played sports i had friends. and early on i had a few really close friends. but once highschool #6, 7, and 8 rolled around. i was just like fuck off. hahah Are you a New York Yankee fan?
Anonymous

no. go mariners. yes i know they suck dick. but they suck my dick. Even though people think you're an asshole sometimes, that response to the anon who wanted you to take the post down shows that you're a good person. :)
legitimately-madchen

yay im an asshole

have u ever jacked off on chatroulette or anything. I NEED ADVICE. A guy just cummed and masturbated while we were talking. is that bad? will i get in trouble?? HELP.
Anonymous

i do it on my lunch break every day. I really like your blog (and the others that you run), but that pro-life post you just made is really getting to me. I would normally just be like, "Whatever, that's not how I feel, I just won't look at it," but I've been so down on myself lately, and sometimes suicidal, and looking at that post is just making things worse for me. Could you please take it down? I really respect that you're pro-life and all that, but I can't get it off my dash, and I'm on edge.
Anonymous

absolutely. did you lose followers over that whole rate my ass ordeal?
thebradwest

i gained like 90. lol. some chick just sucked my d. does that mean she likes me?!
Anonymous

Your 2D drawing looks really good. How long did it take you to do that? Also, who's face is that?
Anonymous

4 hours? thaaaanks. ill post a picture side by side when im done. its the guy from avatar on a menshealth magazine whats your tiny chat account?
Anonymous

http://tinychat.com/maleminded