You drag your weary feet through the narrow, shifty alleys of Bogota; around odd, chanceful corners;

across a blood parched city that puts very little value on human life; a city in which youve learned how to be inconspicuous, just as long as you keep your striding purposeful and your wits about you. Its been a long day, keeping a watchful eye on a whole bunch of mechanics who managed to put in yet another full days work on the eep, with no apparent progress whatsoever. By the time you finally reach your hostel, all you want is a nice cup of tea and a big fat joint. !hough this is a special day for you in every conventional sense of the word, you have by now given up on any aspiration for a proper commemoration. !hat kind of thing surely re"uires the attention of family and close friends, of which you havent got any in pro#imity for the very first time in your life. $s you reach your safe haven, you go through the various stages of hostel security; the outside intercom, the long inspection hall and the metal gate at the end of it. %nce admitted in, you head straight to your dorm&room, so as to change clothes and slide into a more comfortable state of mind. 'irst thing you do, once you enter the room, is to verify that your money belt is still safely tucked underneath your mattress. !hen, you crush&land onto the mattress itself, close your eyes and think of how old youre getting and of how much you hate your eep. $ little later, you shamble into the rundown kitchen, fi# the kettle on the stove and wonder if this specific type of day is only meaningful if theres someone around to grant it meaning, while the water slowly comes to a boil. (ith a steaming cup of tea in your hand, you push open the side door connecting the kitchen to the lobby, wondering how come all the lights are off. 'umbling for the light switch, you finally manage to turn it on, and find yourself staring at a whole bunch of people, themselves transfi#ed on the main entrance door.

)rowning this crowd are colorful balloons, ribbons and a huge sign, spelling *+$,,Y BI-!+.$Y, hanging from the ceiling. /0urprise12 you utter softly, as heads begin to turn your way. !he cute girl from your dorm&room, who, as it turns out, organi3ed this whole brilliant thing just *cause she likes you, sidles over, hugs you and plants a big soggy kiss on your cheek. 4veryone cheers, gathers around and wishes you a happy 56rd birthday. !he best damn birthday youve ever had. 777 !he best thing about having a proper job, with a proper company, in a country where every little thing is done properly to begin with, is the office )hristmas party. You borrowed the one and only tie youll ever wear, put together a decent outfit to go with the tie and then managed to mess it all up by having to drag your feet through the snowy streets of 8trecht, in a disoriented search for the proper venue that was rented especially for the occasion. !his particular company youre working for deals in data systems. Its a decent si3e company, and you happen to be managing its decent si3e warehouse. 9athered in a decent si3e hall, for a decent style celebration, are all its various managers, technicians and servicemen, plus one foreign hunchback fit for the solitude of their cellars, whos now getting the knot in his tie straightened by the motherly secretary. 0eated at the *out of mind table, together with a few 9erman clients and a couple of mi#ed&ethnicity couples, youre too polite to stuff your face with the abundance of food served; too timid to force any of your colleagues into a conversation, and therefore prefer to simply sit back and enjoy the properness of it all. By the time Sinterklaas1 joins in the festivities, everyones rather tipsy, jolly and loud. 'ollowed by Zwarte Piets,5 his trusty little helper, old 0t. :icholas travels by boat from 0pain to +olland yearly, in order to reward the righteous with candy and the wicked with charcoal.

; 5

0aint :icholas, patron saint of children, sailors, and the city of $msterdam Black ,ete <.utch=

%f course, its >oorish ,iets, with face smeared in shoe polish, who does the actual hauling and distribution of said gifts, as well as the actual punishing of bad children, all the cleaning, including dishes and laundry, and any other dubious tasks old :ick re"uires; just like in the good old days. By the time we get down to the Kerstkrans,6 hot chocolate, apple fritters and doughnuts, everyones "uite cockeyed, juvenile and boisterously loud. !he maternal secretary is now waving her skirt up in the air, for anyone whod like to pinch her rosy cheeks. ?ids are running amok around the room, with beer glasses in their hands, and wasted 0inter is attempting to hump his tired old white horse. By the time the catering crew are politely maneuvering the crowd towards the e#it, everyones godverdomme4 shit&faced. Your own manager is swinging off a chandelier, yelling and screaming, poor ,iets is being tossed around by a bunch of into#icated e#ecutives and your only concern is too keep from getting barfed on. >erry )hristmas everyone@ 4at, drink and be merry, dear colleagues, for tomorrow youre all gonna have to be so very proper all over again. 777 4verything has an ending, hence necessarily has to have a beginning of a sort just as well. Aife would not e#ist without a point of birth; an opinion without a point of view; a voyage without a point of no return. 4ven e#istence itself re"uires a bang of "uestionable si3e to begin with. $ social contract in the form of a nation is no different. 4very state has an elected point in which it came to be; a point fre"uently also reelected according to the agenda of the ever changing electors. $ll countries, therefore, possess a date of birth, to celebrate with pride and prejudice. +ere you are, enjoying an evening stroll along the .anube, when suddenly, all hell breaks loose.

6 B

$lmond paste filled puff pastry 9od damn <.utch=

Been enjoying the many wonders Budapest has to offer for a couple of weeks by now; drifting like a leaf from restaurant to restaurant; from a castle to a palace; from an opera to a concert; putting your trust in rumors whispered in the bree3e. :o need for guide books, organi3ed tours or tourist information. (ith such an abundance of pleasures and intrigues, why waste time and effort in seeking infoC !herefore, it certainly catches you by surprise, when the dusky sky lights up all of a sudden, just as you happen to be crossing )hain Bridge; an e#plosion of lights and colors that spreads across the heavens, as if the long awaited apocalypse has finally begun. 0till in a state of bewilderment, you sense the air all around you is beginning to vibrate, as festive music suddenly blasts from no particular place and everywhere at once. (hen an eternity of the most spectacular fireworks display gradually comes to an end, curiosity, ever unnerved by e#plosions of lights and sound, comes out of hiding and politely taps you on the shoulder. .riven into in"uisitiveness, you address an elderly gentleman, as he passes you by. /4#cuse me, sir, what is so special about todayC2 you politely in"uire. /0aint 0tephen .ay, of course,2 he replies. :oticing the pu33led e#pression on your face, he patiently e#plains, /:ation holiday. Birthday for +ungaria, igen?2D /+ow oldC2 you feel obliged to ask. /%ne thousand years@2 is the right answer. 9od almighty, a whole nation is celebrating an entire millennia of e#istence, and you just happened to be right in the middle of it all; )lueless, mindless, yet one lucky bastard for having had this opportunity to witness history in the making. 777 (hat a lucky bugger you are, having this opportunity to stand witness to history in the making. !he whole of humanity is celebrating a brand new millennium, and you just happen to be jubilating it in the heart of Aondon of all places.

Yes <+ungarian=

!his very special occasion, caught somewhere in&between the :ostradamian& %rwellian $rmageddon and the >ayan $pocalypse, and with its very own Y5?ish doomsday scenario to boot, has been dreaded and anticipated by peoples worldwide for a thousand years. !hats the reason you travelled from +olland to Aondon, a city that was one of but a handful championing for global celebratory supremacy on this occasion. $nd indeed, as the evening of that climacteric .ecember 6;st was building up, so was the human density on the banks of the !hames, as wave after wave of fresh merrymakers crashed onto the city center in an orgasmic display of joie de vivre. $nd the crowd brought its own high spirits and low&cost boo3e; its easygoingness and hard li"uor. !he only thing missing, in fact, was any sort of formal festive display. !he clock went on ticking, but the 4ye wasnt winking, and the .ome just stood there, all colossal and cold; a titanic achievement that brought no one much joy. But when the countdown finally started, you knew it was coming E the greatest global event of them all. 'rom ten down to one, and when it was time, the new millennium was welcomed with a deafening roar. !hus commenced an e#plosion of lights and colors that spread across the heavens, as if the long awaited apocalypse has finally begun, and the crowd kept on cheering, and hugging and kissing and bestowing best wishes on all. $nd as you were getting snogged by complete strangers, thorns and roses alike, you couldnt help but wonder how come we only act so cordially towards one another once in a thousand years. (hen the fireworks finally died out, the local crowd has already begun to dispersed, with mouths still cheering, but hearts that are no longer there; e#changing the public sphere for commercial venues and private parties. By the time the smoke has blown over, you remained among the very few to still occupy the streets of Aondon, armed with the e#pectation for the continuation of these so very much anticipated public festivities. +ad you bothered to obtain information beforehand, you might have known what to e#pect, where to go or what to do ne#t. Instead, you ended up wandering the alienated streets of disappointing Aondon all night long, in search of non&e#istent fetes. You may say he who has no e#pectations suffers no disappointments. +owever, once in a millennia, can simply not help myself.