Time by itself is nothing, yet nothing exists outside of Time.

Life, from its prelude to its petit-finale, is nothing but liquid time. The Self is the sum of its experiences; memories made in time, then lost in time and time again. Memories lost sometimes form black holes in the fabric of time, capable of sucking a passing tra eler into a ortex of obli ion. Like grains of sand, time trickles from bet!een your fingers, lost to the dunes of eternity. The !inds of change sometimes catch it, tossing it do!n the hillside and o er the tranquil surface of Lake "titl#n; carrying it up the mountainside and o er the roaring mouth of $olc#n San %edro. Lost to this obli ion, yet happy to remain !here er bliss is to be found, you take a hearty drag from a fat &amaican 'oint and let it sidestep around your little circle; o er to the lo ely couple, the lost soul, the dreamy girl and your ga!ky childhood friend, fore er by your side. Taken to the s!eet !eed like lobster to boiling !ater, he takes a hearty drag of his o!n and passes the roach back to you. "long the slope of this hill you no! cro!n, San %edro $illage stretches all the !ay do!n to the lakeshore. The legend has it that, once upon a time, an unfortunate policeman accidentally shot and killed the e en less fortunate daughter of the Mayan illage chief. (eparted daughter or scars from the )uatemalan *i il +ar, !hich raged for thirty six long years, San %edro, other!ise a peaceful and tolerant little hea en, does ho!e er harbor antiauthoritarian tendencies. ,ou put out the roach and resume reading one of your many stories to this group of ne! best friends; this band of brothers. S!eet, darling bunch of people, !hose names and faces you shall most likely not remember e en a knot or t!o into the uncharted !aters of the future. *ollected, drafted, redrafted, re-redrafted, edited and reedited o er the course of three years, since you first left your homeland in search of a life of experience; taking flight ery strong

from all forms of routine, these short stories you- e been !riting; these humorous, cynical obser ations, slightly e il at times, some!hat righteous e en; first born publication to a !annabe !riter, are no! finally on the erge of fla!lessness. +hen done reading, you put your notebook do!n on the ground beside you; lay do!n the one and only copy you ha e of your !ork, for the era of laptops and easy backups has yet to ha e come. ,ou then !elcome impressions and criticism from your audience of the hour. Most expectedly, the re ie!s are more like praises, and the praises eulogi.es. So expectable, in fact, that it becomes surprising. To be expected, since you are all stoned out of our minds, and ha e been so for an immeasurable amount of time. Surprising though, for you- e completely forgotten !hat it is that you should be expecting. Lea ing the potheaded summer sun to slo!ly set behind the e ergreen hills, you stroll do!n into the illage, along the narro! bridle paths and amidst the small !ooden huts, pass the ne!, 'uicy reefer o er to your friend, and together admire the co.iness of life !ithout police presence. /n the course of a couple of years, since )uatemala regained relati e stability, many a !eary tra elers and friendly dealers ha e been dra!n to the serene anarchism that is the San %edrian !ay of life, turning this place into a cannadise 0 a paradise made of all things that are cannabis. "s you enter the hash house, you are greeted !ith a blast !a e of hails. 1onaldo has apparently 'ust scored a goal in the semi-finals, and nearly each and e ery person in the entire illage has suddenly turned into a 2ra.ilian fan. 3 en though you practically detest football and the global fren.y that goes along !ith it, or perhaps exactly for that reason, you decide to openly support 4olland, and 'oin the only t!o (utch fans in the house in cheers and proosts, as 5lui ert equals the score for 6etherlands. ,ou are, after all, (utch by nationality, hence must sho! solidarity. This place-s specialty is Time, !hile today-s special is Space; an entire meal cooked in space - space soup, space chicken, space eggies and a nice space cake for desert. ,ou take delight in !atching your old friend scoop up this food of the soul in salmonic appetite, the kind !hich s!ims against its o!n natural stream.

"s he floats a!ay on a cloud of euphoria, a feeling of !eariness slo!ly creeps into your o!n heart; !eariness of your s!eet friend; of his patience, !hich kno!s no end; of his dependence on your experience and language skills; of his sheer presence, !hich depri es you of the freedom in seclusion. 3 en best of friends e entually gro! apart, that-s 'ust the nature of time. "ny!ay, one last bite, one more dose of suppression and 2ra.il !ins by penalties. Later that night, your friend goes to sleep. 4e sleeps through your moment of clarity, the reali.ation that life must go on. 4e dreams of unforgettable things he !ould, ne ertheless, not be able to recall, !hile you prepare for the raptured thrust that shall pull you a!ay from this black hole and back into acti e orbit, namely being packed and ready to go by the time he !akes up. Three !hole days later, he finally !akes up and finds you in a state of total despair. "fter t!o days of intensi e scanning of each and e ery spot in and around the entire illage; up the surrounding hills, do!n the lake shore and through the trash bins and garbage dump, you- e managed to exhaust e ery last possible shred of hope. ,our precious notebook, the one and only copy you had of your !ork of the past three years, has anished; your soon-to-be-published collection of short stories is lost and shall ne er be found e er again. This is the story of one day; one meaningless day in the summer of 78-. This is the story of the day all the stories died. 999 "lready sho!ing signs of rapidly degenerating health, coughing and panting all the !ay up the hill leading a!ay from Lake "titl#n, the old *he y finally collapsed half!ay bet!een %ana'achel and "ntigua. )ood old beast of burden that it !as, it passed a!ay !ithout as much as a sigh; cra!led under the front porch and silently closed its tired old eyes. "s belo ed as that car !as, if there !as one thing you- e learned from your misad entures !ith the infernal beast of the southern continent, it-s that from a certain

degree of malfunctioning, any sum of money in ested in trying to fix an old automobile is but another nail in your ery o!n coffin. 4a ing paid ery little for it to begin !ith, you feel no regrets for not !asting time on legalities and suchlike. /nstead, you push the moribund *he y into the first garage you come across, sling the rucksacks back on your shoulders, catch the first bus to "ntigua and ne er look back. 6e ertheless, as pleasurable and relaxing as the colonial city of "ntigua is, !ith its narro! alleys of ancient stone and beautiful gardens of dusty tranquility, you find no peace of mind here. 6or do you find your peace of mind at the friendly hostel, o erflo!ing !ith fello! mochileiros1 from all corners of the !orld; !ith 'oyful lads and their countless displays of courting rituals; !ith pretty lasses, first time a!ay from home. %articularly, for all them pretty girls, that is. The truth of the matter is that you are rapidly approaching a significant date you- e been dreading for quite some time no!, and each day it dra!s closer is another step up the ladder of anxiety. 3ach day that passes drags you, pulling and screaming, one step closer to your one and a half year anni ersary of in oluntary celibacy: Three days before the horrific e ent, and you are paraly.ed !ith anxiety. 3 en mari'uana does ery little to ease the tension, !hich in turn does ery little for your prospecti e of actually getting laid. Trapped !ithin this icious little circle, you turn to your old friend and plead for a deal. ;/f it doesn-t get no action by that blasted anni ersary,< you say, making sure he himself is stoned enough to follo! the course of your logic, ;you, my friend, are hereby obliged to slice it off:< 4is mouth drops, but you quickly carry on, denying him any chance for protestation. ;/f / cannot use it in the !ay )od intended for men to be using it, then it is useless to me and to the !orld alike. Therefore, it must be beheaded: "nd you, my friend, shall ha e to act the headsman:< Then, !ith a generous bong-head do!n his throat, the deal is sealed.

2ackpackers >Spanish?

T!o days before the horrendous date, you come across a perky little tra eler; a pretty enough girl !ith a firm bottom and cheerfully bouncy tits. She-s looking for someone to tra el to the 4onduran islands !ith, and you immediately olunteer. +hether your friend truly expected you to remain by his side or not, he expresses nothing but best !ishes. %robably relie ed at heart, as !ell as from his duty as castrator, he sees you off to the bus station. +hether you truly expect yourself to return to his side at the end of this excursion or not, your one and only concern at this point is for the present mission at hand; namely, the sal ation of your manhood. @ne day before the appalling occasion, and though you- e already spent most of the night making out in the back seat of the crummy local bus, you still remain in your shameful state. The intoxicated dri er takes his passengers on a frightful rollercoaster ride along narro! mountain roads, but your heart rests on a single solid certainty; the only certainty that matters at this point 0 namely that tonight you shall ha e sexual intercourse !ith this girl, no! resting in your arms, and your precious masculinity; your depri ed manhood, shall be restored to its former glory, or else be cut do!n in its prime. (uring the short, light aircraft flight from the 4onduran coastal to!n, you think of your old friend; of ho! much you may hurt his feelings by lea ing him, and of ho! ine itably miserable the rest of your 'ourney might be if you should stay together. Seen enough best of friends sitting on opposite sides of the room, radiating anger and contempt, after mere fe! months of tra eling together, to kno! ho! paradoxical tra eling together might be. 3ither !ay, you-d be hurting a friend-s feelings, 'ust like you did back in L". Then again, the moment the plane makes its landing on the tiny, sandfly infested, island, all forms of good!ill and soul searching are immediately cast aside; cleared a!ay for the sake of locating a room for the t!o of you, and as rapidly as humanly possible.

;4o! ery exhausting it is,< she rolls on her back and mentions offhandedly, after a good, leisurely session of messing around on the double bed, ;ho! ery grueling it is to ho er o er the toilet all the time. ;4o erA +hat do you mean by Bho er-A< you enquire, placing a kiss on her forehead. ;,ou kno!, you silly monkey,< she giggles, ;to stand on the toilet seat. /t-s simply so much strain on the knees to be crouching this !ay all the time< ;2ut, !hy on earth !ould you like to stand on a poor toilet seatA: )od created the toilet seat in his image, so !e !ould seat our asses do!n on it. 4asn-t heA< ;"re you cra.yA: 6o girl in her right mind !ould sit on a public toilet seat, no matter ho! much paper she-d use to layer it !ith. / !ouldn-t e en use friends- toilets !ithout ho ering. &ust the thought of all these germs from all those prior behindsC< The idea is nothing short of be!ildering. "re all, so called, Bci ili.ed- !omen from all parts of this !orld in the habit of ho ering o er perfectly good toilet seats their entire li esA +hy !ould anyone go to such lengths so as to a oid grabbing life by its horns !ith no unnecessary refrainsA /f that is really the case, as / am unfortunately destined to disco er later on in life, then / shall marry the first !oman / !ould meet !ho sits her ass do!n on a public toilet seat, and that is for more reasons than / could e en begin to elaborate on. ;/t-s really too much,< she adds, !hile making her !ay to!ards the bathroom. ;-*ause of ha ing to go so freakin- often lately and all.< 1eaching the door, she turns, smiles and !hispers confidentially 0 ;"mebasC got them a couple of !eeks ago.< 2y the time the bombardment starts, you-re already seeking shelter under the bed, !here you remain hidden for a long, long !hile, until certain the equally horny human infestation has gi en up and fallen asleep. "fter all, as frustrated as she may be, her depri ation is but a pinprick in comparison to your bayoneted manliness. @n anni ersary day, you !ake up on the ery edge of an empty bed. She must ha e left !hile you !ere still shi ering in your sleep, !ithout lea ing so much as a goodbye note.

@ddly enough, you feel ery much serene and at peace !ith yourself and the !orld. +ith a calm smile, you stretch across the bed and light up a cigarette. To cut or not to cut, that was the question. Whether 'tis lustier in the mind to suffer the shame and infamy of miserable fortune, or to accept thy fortune for what it is, and by doing so end suffering? To wank to sleep no more no less.! 2ecause, after all, Btis all so ery meaningless indeedC 999 &amaicaC oh &amaica, man. /dyllic !hite sand beaches and ibrant la.y ass li in-. &amaica, the adopted homeland of the 1astafarian, reno!ned birthplace of the legendary 2ob Marley, reggae capital of the !orld. 1ice-and-peas, rum, coffee and pirates, but best of all, the fattest, longest, s!eetest 'oints one could dream of. ,ou yourself are more dra!n to *uba; to the li ely Latin rhythm, the social and political peculiarities and to smoking fat cigars. ,our friend, on the other hand; a 1astaless 1astaman at heart, keeps &amaica on his mind. Drom the moment you- e made it back to 4a ana, it has been nothing but &amaica here, Bn &amaica there, Bn &amaica e ery fuckin- !here; !ith reggae for breakfast, lunch and dinner, !hich pretty much means tons of co ers for the same fi e Marley songs. Seeking emancipation from this mental sla ery, you gladly agree to cut your stay in *uba a bit shorter, grab a flight across the *aribbean Sea and en'oy e erything the green, black and gold has to offer. 6orman Manley /nternational "irport opens up before you, like the gates of liberty !ould for the !ell-rested, pri ileged and spacious fe!. "ll you-re gonna ha e to do is !a e your (utchy left and right, !hi. your !ay through passport control, and soon enough, you-ll be safely on the other side. /mmigration police still kinda makes you anxious, especially after your recent *uban immigration experience. Then again, this ain-t the bearded iron fist, but the dreadlocked !ooly hat after all.

The gate!ay to 5ingston !ould probably open up much slo!er for your friend, though, like them gates might do for, !ellCthe poor, tired and huddled masses. 4is /sraeli passport e en necessitated the issuing of a isa; a shakedo!n 'ust !aiting to happen. Then again, !ith all them lions and Eions lying around, you ne er can tell. Luckily enough, the officer at the passport control, filling up his tent-si.e uniform quite fittingly, finds no fault !ith his /sraeli passport, and e en gi es your friend an affable grin, as he lets him through. That smile is gone the moment he sets eyes on your (utch passport, though. 4e takes his s!eet time, going through it page by page, then stares you straight in the eye and politely requests to see your return ticket. ;)ot a flight back to *uba in a couple of !eeks,< you reply, and obediently sho! him your ticket. 2ut, that !on-t seem to do. ;)ot a flight from *uba back to Mexico in three !eeks time,< you again exhibit the ticket, eagerly anticipating the end of this interrogation. 2ut, this simply !on-t seem to do either. ;%lease sho! me a return ticket back home, sir,< he then demands. ;/ need to see your flight ticket back to 4olland:< The cra.iest part in all this is that you- e ne er e en been to 4olland yet. " father is born in 4olland, a son gets a citi.enship. That-s 'ust the !ay it !orks. @ther than eating your french-fries !ith mayonnaise, there-s nothing much (utch about you. ;/-m sorry, sir,< he says !ith a Bnot at all sorry- kinda smile. ;/ cannot let you enter &amaica. %lease step aside and stop holding up the queue.< "nd that is !hen you finally snap. "n officer or not; to!ering o er you as much as he might, you 'ust paid t!o hundred dollars for a flight to this fuckin- country and are damned if you-re gonna gi e Bem the satisfaction of gi ing you the boot, and for no good reason. ;6o, / !on-t step aside, sir: +hy can-t you let me enter &amaicaA< you no! take a bit of a tone !ith him. ;4o! !ould / kno! you !on-t 'ust stay in &amaicaA< he demands. ;+hy should / stay in &amaica !hen /- e got a perfectly good home some!here elseA< you retaliate, !ith an equally dumb query of your o!n.

;%lenty of (utch people come into &amaica, but Bforget- to lea e.< ;@h, don-t you !orry Bbout me, sir. /- e got an excellent memory, / do. 2esides, / 'ust sho!ed you not one but t!o tickets out of &amaica. So, !here-s the problemA< ;The problem is that these are not return tickets to your homeland. The la! demands a return ticket. 6o!, please 'ust step aside:< he no! takes a lot of tone !ith you. ;This has got to be the dumbest la! /- e e er heard of in my entire life: "nd no, sir, / !on-t 'ustC< 2ut, before you kno! it, dark shado!s fall upon you. ,ou turn and stare straight into the lobby of !hat appears to be the t!in to!ers of &amaican airport police; t!o huge black men, !ho look as if they could easily take e en the immigration officer for a piggy back ride. "nd that is !hen you finally grasp the fact that this game is o er for you. ;They-ll escort you back to your plane. / belie e it-s lea ing back to 4a ana in about half an hour,< is all the officer has left to say, before resuming stamping other, much more fortunate, folks- passports. ,our friend, !ho-s been anxiously follo!ing the e ents as they !ere unfolding, 'umps to and decides to get on that flight back to *uba together !ith you. ;The hell you !ill:< you bello! at the poor fello!, holding back your o!n tears. ;"ll you e er talked about !as isiting &amaica. ,ou stay right !here you are, and !e-ll meet up back in 4a ana, alrightA< 2ut, that-s not ho! friendships !ork, not for him any!ay, and half an hour later you both are gorging on airline peanuts, desperately trying to get about t!o hundred dollars !orth of them in the half hour it !ould take you to be back at the exact same spot you set out from earlier that day. 4ad you bothered to gather a bit of information beforehand; learned about this particular difficulty you might be facing, you could ha e probably found a !ay around it. Should ha e at least ensured that you-ll be making a better first impression on that officer, !ho had it in his po!er to fuck you up so profoundly on a mere !him. 6e ertheless, and !ith all due respect to immigration authority, of !hich / ha e none !hatsoe er, the unbearable lightness !ith !hich one-s passage could be denied; !ith

!hich basic human freedom to be !here er you choose to be on this earth is so brutally tromped on, is a mind-boggling absurdity. 6e er again, throughout the course of my extensi e tra els, ha e / been denied entry to any country, certainly not for such foolish reasoning. The hell !ith &amaica: Scre! the green, the black and e en the gold. "s )od is my !itness, / shall ne er seek to isit it e er again: So engulfed in your o!n rage and sense of insult you are, that you simply neglect to feel at all bad about the fate of your loyal friend, !ho has 'ust sacrificed his o!n life long dream for the sake of friendship. 4e made his choice, though; one you definitely did not expect of him, nor !ould ha e made yourself, had you been in his shoes. ,ou do, ho!e er, deeply appreciate his kindhearted loyalty, as !ell as feel rather burdened by it. Soon enough, you !ill go on a fe! days excursion to 4onduras !ith a girl you 'ust met, and shall not return to )uatemala as promised, allo!ing him to take his o!n course in life and tra el, !hi..ing through *entral "merica, creating his indi idual experiences, on the fast lane do!n to 2ra.il. /n time, the gap bet!een your personalities, attitudes and focuses in life shall gro! so !ide, that, at no specific point during that time, you !ill simply cease being friends. Life shall simply take its course, !hich in a !ay, is an essential one; essential for the clearing of emotional space for the sake of ne! encounters; for making ne! old friends. "ll you kno! at this moment, as your plane is landing back in 4a ana; the only idea capable of materiali.ing through the poisonous fumes of fury, fear and loathing &amaica left you !ith, is that you need a place !here you could really relax. ,ou desire a place !here you !ould think of nothing, forget e erything and, knock on folding tray, mend these mental scars, still burning your guts !ith pure hatred for anything and e erything. ,our friend, as traumati.ed as you are, if not e en more, instantly agrees to your idea. Therefore, you lea e *uba the ery next day. T!o short days after!ards, and you-re back in the San %edrian ortex.