StoryofNarayanandSudhaMurthy

It was in Pune that I met Narayan Murty through my friend Prasanna whoisnowtheWiprochief,whowasalsotraininginTelco.Mostofthe books that Prasanna lent me had Murtys name on them which meant that I had a preconceived image of the man. Contrary to expectation, Murty was shy,bespectacled and an introvert. When he invited us for dinner.IwasabittakenabackasIthoughttheyoungmanwasmakinga very fast move. I refused since I was the only girl in the group. But Murtywasrelentlessandwealldecidedtomeetfordinnerthenextday at7.30p.m.atGreenFieldshotelontheMainRoad,Pune. ThenextdayIwentthereat7oclocksinceIhadtogotothetailornear thehotel.AndwhatdoIsee?Mr.Murtywaitinginfrontofthehoteland it was only seven. Till today, Murty maintains that I had mentioned (consciously!) that I would be going to the tailor at 7 so that I could meethimAndImaintainthatIdidnotsayanysuchthingconsciously or unconsciously because I did not think of Murty as anything other thanafriendatthatstage.Wehaveagreedtodisagreeonthismatter.

Soon, we became friends. Our conversations were filled with Murtys experiencesabroadandthebooksthathehasread.Myfriendsinsisted thatMurtywastryingtoimpressmebecausehewasinterestedinme.I kept denying it till one fine day, after dinner Murty said, I want to tell yousomething.Iknewthiswasit.Itwascoming.Hesaid,Iam54tall.I come from a lower middle class family. I can never become rich in my life and I can never give you any riches. You are beautiful, bright, and intelligentandyoucangetanyoneyouwant.Butwillyoumarryme?I askedMurtytogivemesometimeforananswer.Myfatherdidntwant metomarryawannabepolitician,(acommunistatthat)whodidnthave asteadyjobandwantedtobuildanorphanage WhenIwenttoHubliItoldmyparentsaboutMurtyandhisproposal. MymotherwaspositivesinceMurtywasalsofromKarnataka,seemed intelligentandcomesfromagoodfamily.Butmyfatherasked:Whats his job, his salary, his qualifications etc? Murty was working as a research assistant and was earning less than me. He was willing to go dutchwithmeonouroutings.MyparentsagreedtomeetMurtyinPune on a particular day at10 a. m sharp. Murty did not turn up. How can I trust a man to take care of my daughter if he cannot keep an appointment,askedmyfather At12noonMurtyturnedupinabrightredshirt!Hehadgoneonwork to Bombay, was stuck in a traffic jam on the ghats, so he hired a taxi(thoughitwasveryexpensiveforhim)tomeethiswouldbefather inlaw. Father was unimpressed. My father asked him what he wanted to become in life. Murty said he wanted to become a politician in the

communistpartyandwantedtoopenanorphanage.Myfathergavehis verdict.NO.Idontwantmydaughtertomarrysomebodywhowantsto become a communist and then open an orphanage when he himself didnthavemoneytosupporthisfamily.Ironically,today,Ihaveopened many orphanages something, which Murty wanted to do 25 years ago. By this time I realized I had developed a liking towards Murty which couldonlybetermedaslove.IwantedtomarryMurtybecauseheisan honest man. He proposed to me highlighting the negatives in his life. I promised my father that I will not marry Murty without his blessings thoughatthesametime,Icannotmarryanybodyelse.Myfathersaidhe would agree if Murty promised to take up a steady job. But Murty refused saying he will not do things in life because somebody wanted himto.So,Iwascaughtbetweenthetwomostimportantpeopleinmy life. The stalemate continued for three years during which our courtship took us to every restaurant and cinema hall in Pune. In those days, Murty was always broke. Moreover, he didnt earn much to manage. Ironically today, he manages Infosys Technologies Ltd., one of the worldsmostreputedcompanies.Healwaysowedmemoney.Weused togofordinnerandhewouldsay,Idonthavemoneywithme,youpay my share, I will return it to you later. For three years I maintained a

book on Murtys debt to me. No, he never returned the money and I finally tore it up after my wedding. The amount was a little over Rs 4000.DuringthisinterimperiodMurtyquithisjobasresearchassistant andstartedhisownsoftwarebusiness.Now,Ihadtopayhissalarytoo! Towardsthelate70scomputerswereenteringIndiainabigway. During the fag end of 1977 Murty decided to take up a job as General Manager at Patni Computers in Bombay. But before he joined the companyhewantedtomarrymesincehewastogoontrainingtothe USafterjoining.MyfathergaveinashewashappyMurtyhadadecent job,now. WE WERE MARRIED IN MURTYS HOUSE IN BANGALORE ON FEBRUARY10,1978WITHONLYOURTWOFAMILIESPRESENT.IGOT MYFIRSTSILKSARI.THEWEDDINGEXPENSESCAMETOONLYRS800 (US$17)WITHMURTYANDIPOOLINGINRS400EACH. IwenttotheUSwithMurtyaftermarriage.Murtyencouragedmetosee America on my own because I loved travelling. I toured America for three months on backpack and had interesting experiences which will remain freshin my mind forever. Like the time when the New York police took me into custody because they thought I was an Italian trafficking drugs in Harlem. Or the time when I spent the night at the

bottom of the Grand Canyon with an old couple. Murty panicked because he couldnt get a response from my hotel room even at midnight.HethoughtIwaseitherkilledorkidnapped. IN1981MURTYWANTEDTOSTARTINFOSYS.HEHADAVISIONAND ZERO CAPITALinitially I was very apprehensive about Murty getting intobusiness.Wedidnothaveanybusinessbackground.Moreoverwe werelivingacomfortablelifeinBombaywitharegularpaycheckandI didnt want to rock the boat. But Murty was passionate about creating goodqualitysoftware.Idecidedtosupporthim. TypicalofMurty,hejusthadadreamandnomoney.SoIgavehimRs 10,000 which I had saved for a rainy day, without his knowledge and told him, This is all I have. Take it. I give you three years sabbatical leave. I will take care of the financial needs of our house. You go and chaseyourdreamswithoutanyworry.Butyouhaveonlythreeyears! Murty and his six colleagues started Infosys in 1981,with enormous interest and hard work. In 1982 I left Telco and moved to Pune with Murty.WeboughtasmallhouseonloanwhichalsobecametheInfosys office.Iwasaclerkcumcookcumprogrammer.Ialsotookupajobas Senior Systems Analyst with Walchand group of Industries to support the house. In 1983 Infosys got their first client, MICO, in Bangalore.

MurtymovedtoBangaloreandstayedwithhismotherwhileIwentto Hubli to deliver my second child, Rohan. Ten days after my son was born,MurtyleftfortheUSonprojectwork.Isawhimonlyafterayear, as I was unable to join Murty in the US because my son had infantile eczema,anallergytovaccinations.SoformorethanayearIdidnotstep outsideourhomeforfearofmysoncontractinganinfection.Itwasonly afterRohangotallhisvaccinationsthatIcametoBangalorewherewe rentedasmallhouseinJayanagarandrentedanotherhouseasInfosys headquarters. MyfatherpresentedMurtyascootertocommute.Ionceagainbecamea cook, programmer, clerk, secretary, office assistant et al. Nandan Nilekani (MD of Infosys) and his wife Rohini stayed with us. While Rohinibabysatmyson,IwroteprogramsforInfosys.Therewasnocar, no phone, and just two kids and a bunch of us working hard, juggling ourlivesandhavingfunwhileInfosyswastakingshape.Itwasnotonly me but also the wives of other partners too who gave their unstinted support.Weallknewthatourmenweretryingtobuildsomethinggood. Itwaslikeabigjointfamily,takingcareandlookingoutforoneanother. I still remember Sudha Gopalakrishna looking after my daughter Akshata with all care and love while Kumari Shibulal cooked for all of us.Murtymadeitveryclearthatitwouldeitherbemeorhimworking

at Infosys. Never the two of us together I was involved with Infosys initially. NandanNilekanisuggestedIshouldbeontheBoardbutMurtysaidhe didnotwantahusbandandwifeteamatInfosys.IwasshockedsinceI hadtherelevantexperienceandtechnicalqualifications. He said, Sudha if you want to work with Infosys, I will withdraw, happily.IwaspainedtoknowthatIwillnotbeinvolvedinthecompany myhusbandwasbuildingandthatIwouldhavetogiveupajobthatI amqualifiedtodoandlovedoing.Ittookmeacoupleofdaystograsp the reason behind Murtys request. I realized that to make Infosys a successonehadtogiveones100percent.Onehadtobefocussedonit alonewithnootherdistractions.Ifthetwoofushadtogive100percent toInfosysthenwhatwouldhappentoourhomeandourchildren?One ofushadtotakecareofourhomewhiletheothertookcareofInfosys. Ioptedtobeahomemaker,afterallInfosyswasMurtysdream.Itwasa bigsacrificebutitwasonethathadtobemade.Eventoday,Murtysays, Sudha,Isteppedonyourcareertomakemine.Youareresponsiblefor mysuccess.Imighthavegivenupmycareerformyhusbandssake. Butthatdoesnotmakemeadoormat

Many think that I have been made the sacrificial lamb at Narayan Murtysaltarofsuccess.Afewwomenjournalistshaveevenaccusedme of setting a wrong example by giving up my dreams to make my husbandsareality.Isntfreedomaboutlivingyourlifethewayyouwant it?Whatisrightforonepersonmight bewrongforanother.It isupto the individual to make a choice that is effective in her life. I feel that when a woman gives up her right to choose for herself is when she crossesoverfrombeinganindividualtoadoormat. Murtys dreams encompassed not only himself but a generation of people. It was about founding something worthy, exemplary and honorable.Itwasaboutcreationanddistributionofwealth.Hisdreams were grander than my career plans, in all aspects. So, when I had to choosebetweenMurtyscareerandmine,IoptedforwhatIthoughtwas arightchoice.Wehadahomeandtwolittlechildren. Measles,mumps,fractures,PTAmeetings,wantsandneedsofgrowing childrendonotcaremuchforgrandiosedreams.Theyjustneededtobe attendedto.Somebodyhadtotakecareofitall.Somebodyhadtostay back to create a home base that would be fertile for healthy growth, happiness, and more dreams to dream. I became that somebody willingly. I can confidently say that if I had had a dream like Infosys,

Murtywouldhavegivenmehisunstintedsupport.Theroleswouldhave beenreversed. Wearenotboundbythearchaicrulesofmarriage.IcookforhimbutI dont wait up to serve dinner like a traditional wife. So, he has no hasslesaboutheatingupthefoodandhavinghisdinner. He does not intrude into my time especially when I am writing my novels.HedoesnotinterfereinmyworkattheInfosysFoundationandI dontinterferewiththerunningofInfosys.IteachComputerScienceto MBAandMCAstudentsatChristcollegeforafewhourseveryweekand I earn around Rs 50,000 a year. I value this financial independence greatly though there is no need for me to pursue a teaching career. Murty respects that. I travel all over the world without Murty because he hates travelling. We trust each other implicitly. We have another understandingtoo.Whileheearnsthemoney,Ispendit,mostlythrough thecharity. Philanthropy is a profession and an art The Infosys Foundation was born in 1997 with the sole objective of uplifting the less privileged sections of society. IN THE PAST THREE YEARS WE HAVE BUILT HOSPITALS, ORPHANAGES, REHABILITATION CENTRES, SCHOOL BUILDINGS,SCIENCECENTRESANDMORETHAN3500LIBRARIES.Our

workismainlyintheruralareasamongstwomenandchildren.Iamone of the trustees and our activities span six states including Karnataka, Tamil Nadu, Andhra, Orissa, Chandigarh and Maharashtra.I travel to around800villagesconstantly.InfosysFoundationhasaminimalstaff of three trustees and three office members. We all work very hard to achieveourgoalsandthatisthereasonwhyInfosysFoundationhasa distinctidentity.EveryyearwedonatearoundRs56crore(Rs5060 million). We run Infosys Foundation the way Murty runs Infosys in a professionalandscientificway. Philanthropyisaprofessionandanart.Itcanbeusedormisused.We slowly want to increase the donations and we dream of a time when Infosys Foundation could donate large amounts of money. Every year we receive more than 10,000 applications for donations. Everyday I receive more than 120 calls. Amongst these, there are those who genuinely need help and there are hood winkers too. I receive letters asking me to donate Rs five lakh to someone because five lakh is, like peanutstoInfosys. SomepeoplewritetousaskingforfreeInfosysshares.OvertheyearsI havelearnttodifferentiatethewheatfromthechaff,thoughIstillgivea patienthearingtoallthecases.SometimesIfeelIhavelosttheabilityto trustpeople.Ihavebecomeshrewdertoavoidbeingconned.

It saddens me to realize that even as a person is talking to me I try to analyze them: Has he come here for any donation? Why is he praising myworkorenquiringaboutmyhealth,doeshewantsomemoneyfrom me?EightoutoftentimesIamright.Theydowantmymoney.ButIfeel badfortheothertwowhomIsuspected.IthinkthatisthepricethatI havetopayforthepositionthatIaminnow. The greatest difficulty in having money is teaching your children the value of it and trying to keep them on a straight line. Bringing up childrennamoneyedatmosphereisadifficulttask. EVENTODAYITHINKTWICEIFIHAVETOSPENDRS10ONANAUTO WHENICANWALKUPTOMYHOUSE.Icannotexpectmychildrentodo thesame.Theyhaveseenmoneyfromthetimetheywereborn.Butwe can lead by example. When they see Murty wash his own plate after eatingandcleanthetwotoiletsinthehouseeverydaytheyrealizethat noworkisdemeaningirrespectiveofhowrichyouare.IDONTHAVEA MAIDATHOMEBECAUSEIDONTSEETHENEEDFORONE Whenchildrenseebothparentsworkinghard,livingasimplelife,most of the time they tend to follow. This doesnt mean we expect our childrentoliveanausterelife.Mychildrenbuywhattheywantandgo wheretheywantbuttheyhavetofollowcertainrules.Theywillhaveto

show me a bill for whatever they buy. My daughter can buy five new outfitsbutshehastogiveawayfiveoldones.Mysoncangooutwithhis friendsforlunchordinnerbutifhewantstogotoafivestarhotel,we discourage it. Or we accompany him. So far my children havent given meanyheartbreak.Theyaregoodchildren. My eldest daughter is studying abroad, whereas my son is studying in Bangalore.Theydontusetheirfathersnameinvain.Ifasked,theyonly say that his name is Murty and that he works for Infosys. They dont wanttoberecognizedandappreciatedbecauseoftheirfatherormebut forthemselves.IDONTFEELGUILTYABOUTHAVINGMONEYFORWE HAVE WORKED HARD FOR IT. BUT I DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE FLAUNTINGITITISACONSCIOUSDECISIONONOURPARTTOLIVEA SIMPLE,SOCALLEDMIDDLECLASSLIFE.WELIVEINTHESAMETWO BEDROOM,PARSELYFURNISHEDHOUSEBEFOREINFOSYSBECAMEA SUCCESS. Our only extravagance is buying books and CDs. MY HOUSE HASNOLOCKERSFORIHAVENOJEWELS.IWEARASTONEEARRING WHICH I BOUGHT IN BOMBAY FOR RS 100. I dont even wear my mangalsutra until I attend some family functions or I am with my motherinlaw.Iamnotfondofjewelleryorsaris. Fiveyearsago,IwenttoKashiwheretraditiondemandsthatyougive up something and I gave up shopping. Since then I havent bought

myselfasariorgoneshopping.Itismyfriendswhogiftmewithsaris. Murtyboughtmeasarialongtimeago.ItwasnottomytasteandItold him to refrain from buying saris for me in the future. I am no good at selectingmensclotheseither.Itismydaughterwhodoestheshopping forus. Istillhavethesamesofaathomewhichmydaughterwantstochange. However, we have indulged ourselves with each one having their own music system and computer. I dont carry a purse and neither does Murty most of the time. I do tell him to keep some small change with himbuthedoesnt.IborrowmoneyfrommysecretaryormydriverifI need cash. They know my habit so they always carry extra cash with them.ButIsettletheaccountseveryevening.MURTYANDIAREVERY COMFORTABLEWITHOURLIFESTYLEANDWEDONTSEETHENEED TOCHANGEIT. NOW THAT WE HAVE MONEY. Murty and I are two opposites that complement each other Murty is sensitive and romantic in his own way.Healwaysgiftsmebooksaddressedto>FromMetoYou.Ortothe person I most admire etc. We both love books. We are both complete opposites. I am an extrovert and he is an introvert. I love watching moviesandlisteningtoclassicalmusic.MurtyloveslisteningtoEnglish classical music. I go out for movies with my students and secretary

every other week. I am still young at heart. I really enjoyed watching Kaho Na Pyaar Hai and I am a Hrithik Roshan fan. It has been more than20yearssinceMurtyandIwentforamovie. My daughter once gave us a surprise by booking tickets for Titanic. SinceIhadapriorengagementthatday,Murtywentforthemoviewith his secretary Pandu. I love travelling whereas Murty loves spending timeathome.FriendscomeandgowiththesharepricesEveninmy dreams,IdidnotexpectInfosystogrowlikethewayithas.Idontthink even Murty envisioned this phenomenal success, at least not in 1981. AfterInfosyswentpublicin1993,webecamewhatpeoplewouldcallas rich, moneyed people. I was shocked to see what was happening to Infosys and to us. Suddenly you see and hear about so much money. Yournameandphotoissplashedinthepapers.Peopletalkaboutyou.It was all new to me. SUDDENLY I HAVE PEOPLE WALKING UP TO ME SAYING, OH, WE WERE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS, WE HAD A MEAL 25 YEARSAGO. THEY CLAIM TO HAVE BEEN PRESENT AT OUR WEDDING (WHICH IS AN UTTER LIE BECAUSE ONLY MY FAMILY WAS PRESENT AT MY WEDDING).IDONTEVENKNOWALLTHESEPEOPLEWHOCLAIMTO KNOW MURTY AND ME SO WELL. But that doesnt mean I dont have true friends. I do have genuine friends, a handful,who have been with

meforaverylongtime.Myequationwiththesepeoplehasnotchanged andvicesversa.IamALSOVERYCLOSETONARAYANMURTYSfamily, especiallymysisterinlawKAMALAMURTY,aSCHOOLTEACHER,who ismoreofadearfriendtome.Ihavediscoveredthatthesearethefew relationships and friendships that dont fluctuate depending on the priceofInfosysshares.HaveIlostmyidentityasawoman,inMurtys shadow? No. I might be Mrs. Narayan Murty. I might be Akshata and Rohansmother ImightbethetrusteeofInfosysFoundation.ButIamstillSudha.Iplay differentroleslikeallwomen.Thatdoesntmeanwedonthaveourown identity.Womenhavethatextraqualityofadaptabilityandlearntofit into different shoes. But we are our own selves still. And we have to exactourfreedombymakingtherightchoicesinourlives,dictatedby usandnotbytheworld.