Savannah Bracewell Dr.

Thurman English 1101 September 30, 2013 Thesis Statements Makeover Revised Thesis: The regulated use of cellphones in college classrooms can have both negative and positive effects on student behavior. Strict policies enforcing the prevention of cell phone use can create an environment with less distraction which allows students to be more attentive to their lessons, while it can also create a circumstance in which some students may feel it necessary to break the rules.

I chose journal entry #5, the thesis statement makeover, as my best in-class writing assignment because I believe that the exercise was very helpful and because I thought my group and I did really well on it. For this exercise, our class split up into groups and each of them was presented with a faulty thesis statement. From there, it was our job to re-write the thesis so that it was clearer and more specific. Although I do not remember the original thesis we were presented with, I remember that it was very vague and my group and I struggled with finding specific examples of how the prevented use of cell phones could affect the classroom environment in both positive and negative ways. I believe that this exercise helped me better understand the construction of thesis statements and also helped me to identify an effective thesis statement. I believe that my group and I were successful in transforming the original thesis into one that is much more specific and that sets up the argument for the rest of the essay.